MSPA Fanfiction VI: Trashy Rainbow Drinker Fanfiction

[battlerek]

Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

@Path- Funny, I never thought about the Joker when I write John!Slick. I just imagine how John would act if he thought murder was just as fun as his favorite movies, then slap a little bit of Ladd Russo into his character.

[Path]

Since I judge such things on the Batman Scale of Madness (see my John + Slick = Joker statement and my veiled segue to Droog (obviously implying a Mr. Freeze connection)), firmly in the Clock King sector.

I don't know anything about this Batman thing, or what part of your reference is obvious, and the only clock king I regard as a true monarch is Strawberry Clock (King of the Newgrounds Portal). You're strange Path. It makes me look more normal by comparison. Thank you for that.

Pff what kind of loser can't name 10 Batman villains off the top of his head, what's wrong with you

edit: stupidest top of page post ever. Everybody boo me please.

Yes, booooooooo.

@Path- Funny, I never thought about the Joker when I write John!Slick. I just imagine how John would act if he thought murder was just as fun as his favorite movies, then slap a little bit of Ladd Russo into his character.

Hey, any crazy sadist will do.

[MyCurrentObsession]

So I'm back with a little Feferi introspection fic, if you could call it that. After the first few paragraphs, it really just turns into more of a Sollux/Fef fluff fic than anything else, but whatever.

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You are six sweeps old, and you are a princess.

When you turn eleven sweeps old, you will ascend the throne and become Empress of all the trolls.

It's a lot to bear for a young girl, but you're not the type to carp about it. Just the opposite, in fact. Already, you've made plans; rules to abolish, rules to add, so many things.

You will surely be the B—EST Empress that Troll society has seen in quite some time.

You are six sweeps (and a half) old when your friends invite you to play a game. Despite your (former) moirail's reservations about playing with such "lowbloods", you accept immediately.

You are hooked up with a somewhat moody boy whom you don't really know. Regardless, he promises to get you into the game on time.

You think it's quite CUT—E how he flounders through your first few conversations, not really sure how to treat someone of your status. He eventually accepts your reassurances that you are fine with him just calling you by name - you're not Empress yet, after all.

Things got rough for a while, once your lusus started getting hungry. But the young psyionic proved to be quite capable, enduring the pain he was surely feeling from the low grumblings of the beast and getting you through.

You resolve to hurry along and rendezvous with him as soon as possible, ignoring the very reel possibility that he'll be dead by that point. Because...

You have started to sea this boy in a different light; it is an established fact that every princess needs a prince, and by this point you're starting to want that prince to be him, color of his blood be damned (you plan on abolishing that horrible caste system when you take charge, anyway; it'll be the first of many things to go).

You find him a few days later, and he is indeed dead (the Vast Glub has come and gone, and he wasn't in the relative safety of the game), but you are undeterred.

You will later insist that it is True Love's Kiss, not his dreamself, that saves him. All the other trolls, even Sollux himself, disagree with you on this point, but W)(AT—EV—ER!

And now you are hiding out in the Veil, having been doomed by the very "aliens" you are responsible for creating.

But that's okay to you, because these humans seem FUN to you, and, more importantly, your prince is back by your side.

Yes, it's quite clear that he has some unresolved issues with his former matesprite (if you could even call her that; things had been headed in that direction, yes, but her death had put a stop to that relationship), but he has chosen his place, and it is )(—ER—E, with you.

And that's reely all you can ask for.

You are six sweeps old, and, like any princess, you are left to wait for your happily ever after.

[pimudragonfeline]

Cute. Or should I say? CUT------E! MyCurrentObsesion

GUESS WHAT GUYS!
Every-time you post a badfic you tick off one person with a written language learning disability.
You're insensitive jerks for posting that!

Because misspelling, the use of bad grammar, and bad punctuation, is not amusing to one who has to struggle to do those things correctly.
Not amusing at all!

[Nox]

Hey Path...what kind of crazy does that make me then?

Since I judge such things on the Batman Scale of Madness (see my John + Slick = Joker statement and my veiled segue to Droog (obviously implying a Mr. Freeze connection)), firmly in the Clock King sector.

I find your system fascinating. Where would I rank on it?

Also, who is the servent at the auction? My only guess is Gamzee. Because... Hidden psychopath and all that...

[Rimbaum]

Hey Path...what kind of crazy does that make me then?

Since I judge such things on the Batman Scale of Madness (see my John + Slick = Joker statement and my veiled segue to Droog (obviously implying a Mr. Freeze connection)), firmly in the Clock King sector.

I find your system fascinating. Where would I rank on it?

Also, who is the servent at the auction? My only guess is Gamzee. Because... Hidden psychopath and all that...

Path, I am also intrigued and curious to know where I stand.

Nox, I figured the servant at the auction was Dave, after his quip later on.

[Sporkaganza]

Cute. Or should I say? CUT------E! MyCurrentObsesion

GUESS WHAT GUYS!
Every-time you post a badfic you tick off one person with a written language learning disability.
You're insensitive jerks for posting that!

Because misspelling, the use of bad grammar, and bad punctuation, is not amusing to one who has to struggle to do those things correctly.
Not amusing at all!

People write badfic to amuse themselves.

[pimudragonfeline]

Cute. Or should I say? CUT------E! MyCurrentObsesion

GUESS WHAT GUYS!
Every-time you post a badfic you tick off one person with a written language learning disability.
You're insensitive jerks for posting that!

Because misspelling, the use of bad grammar, and bad punctuation, is not amusing to one who has to struggle to do those things correctly.
Not amusing at all!

People write badfic to amuse themselves.

Not any less insensitive.

[SeptimusMagistos]

So, I notice that what Equius/Aradia fluff exists tends to be written from Equius's perspective, including by me.

Therefore, I experimented with going in the other direction.

A Thought Or Two:

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Aradia was trapped and she was in no hurry to escape.

She was in no hurry to escape because the trap consisted of Equius’s arms holding her closely.

Explaining why she was trapped, however, is slightly more complicated and requires looking into Equius’s sleeping habits.

If left to his own devices, Equius would stay up for days until heavy shadows formed under his eyes and his temper grew ever worse. Then he would succumb to a brief, fitful sleep before repeating the pattern again. If forced to undertake rest, Equius would fuss and scheme and sneak off as quickly as possible. . . unless Aradia was with him. In that eventuality, he tended to fall asleep quickly and without much resistance. It was good for him and it kept the world at large safe from his rage.

And if Aradia happened to consider the arrangement not unpleasant, well that was just a bonus.

Lying as she did, she could easily feel Equius’s muscle structure. Fortunately, even his muscles relaxed a little when he slept. Otherwise the experience would be somewhat akin to trying to sleep on rocks. She was also very aware that she was getting thoroughly soaked by sweat and would probably smell of Equius for a week. But she was okay with that. More than okay, really, though she couldn’t decide whether she owed that thought to something hormonal in the sweat or the fun that could be had by freaking people out with such traces of her association with the boy.

Whatever. You couldn’t hang out with Equius and not pick up some weird preferences.

But of course she chose to undertake that risk, because his company was worth it for her. Not for the first time, she wondered why. Equius would always sing her praises and never seemed to notice that she never told him what it was that she loved about him. The feeling was there, she knew: whenever she thought about it, she could feel it burning deep crimson within her mind. But the causes of that feeling were more confusing by far.

It had started out purely biological, she knew that much. He was flushed; she was caliginous; so her body decided to flip things on her and turn her desire to break open his head into a desire to stick her tongue down his throat. But later on she’d found no desire to flip things back into blackrom. The aristocratic bastard she’d believed she hated simply wasn’t there. What was there was. . . strange, but it added up to someone who had been able to keep her flushed interest.

Yes, ‘strange’ was certainly the word for Equius. Strange and complicated. He was kind, in his own way, but you couldn’t simply say he was a nice guy like you could with Tavros. All the bigoted prejudices of his upbringing were still there; she’d learned that only on. Equius would do anything to please her, or to protect Nepeta; he would build prosthetics for Vriska and Tavros; but he’d watched trolls get fed to a spider outside of his window for sweeps and never cared beyond making sure his moirail would not join the grim procession. Their lives had meant almost nothing to Equius; they were not included into the group he cared about and so they were unimportant. But then, the difficulty inherent in making Equius care about something seemed to mean that when he did care, he cared with great intensity. Now that his personal circle and the total population were one and the same, perhaps it no longer mattered as much.

But Equius’s patterns of niceness and aggression, which were ultimately not that different from those of other trolls, were only the tip of the iceberg of idiosyncrasies possessed by the boy. It wasn’t like Equius even had layers - more like a tangled spaghetti of emotions and actions. One minute he could act the haughty highblood and then he would be reminded of something else and suddenly become the fawning, adorably helpless admirer. And when you allowed yourself to believe that was his true nature, he would suddenly grow wildly forceful with even his loved ones. He didn’t often give commands to Aradia, but if he did, he meant them. Whatever submissiveness he possessed was nowhere to be found, pushed out by the certainty that the actions he was ordering were for her own good. Even if she chose to ignore him she could certainly feel the force behind his voice.

And then when you allowed yourself to believe Equius was just too complex to ever figure out, he would punch a robot and demand a towel and suddenly he was wonderfully simple again.

So that was the difficulty. Equius had a lot to offer: his strength and intelligence, a strange kind of kindness and a stranger kind of concern, a strong attachment and a complex array of fetishes which seemed inseparable from genuinely platonic admirations. And Aradia couldn’t point to any one thing that made her love him. But combined they formed something very much lovable, if only in a very strange way.

So, could it be that what she loved about Equius was. . . Equius? Aradia nearly shook her head at the tautology but then changed it to a shrug at the last minute. If the boy’s character seemed too complex to compartmentalize, then maybe it was. Anyway, what difference did it make? Love was love; Equius didn’t seem to require an explanation and she owed none to anyone else; she was certainly comfortable enough with the situation. Some things did not need questioning.

So Aradia stopped questioning anything. Instead, she yawned, turned over, and went to sleep.

She would not be escaping for a while.

[Path]

Sorry, dudes and ladies! C2 is my IRL moirail, and I can judge his insanity better than I can someone I've only chatted with online. THAT BEING SAID

The Batman Scale is comprehensive, and I'd probably place about 20 entries on the version I use; others may have different ranking systems based on the movies, comics, or games, but I'm a huge fan of the Animated Series, and so mine corresponds to it.

I would estimate myself to be somewhere above the Penguin (patient exhibits lame need to hide insecurities and disguise past failings) and Harley Quinn (continues to throw responsibilities to the wind and pursue enjoyment with abandon and no thought for consequences of actions, perhaps arguably the reason a Batman Scale was developed in the first place).

So, Nox, Rimbaum, why don't you tell me about your problems? *MAD GRIN*

[lantadyme]

So, I notice that what Equius/Aradia fluff exists tends to be written from Equius's perspective, including by me.

Therefore, I experimented with going in the other direction.

A Thought Or Two:

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hide spoiler

Aradia was trapped and she was in no hurry to escape.

She was in no hurry to escape because the trap consisted of Equius’s arms holding her closely.

Explaining why she was trapped, however, is slightly more complicated and requires looking into Equius’s sleeping habits.

If left to his own devices, Equius would stay up for days until heavy shadows formed under his eyes and his temper grew ever worse. Then he would succumb to a brief, fitful sleep before repeating the pattern again. If forced to undertake rest, Equius would fuss and scheme and sneak off as quickly as possible. . . unless Aradia was with him. In that eventuality, he tended to fall asleep quickly and without much resistance. It was good for him and it kept the world at large safe from his rage.

And if Aradia happened to consider the arrangement not unpleasant, well that was just a bonus.

Lying as she did, she could easily feel Equius’s muscle structure. Fortunately, even his muscles relaxed a little when he slept. Otherwise the experience would be somewhat akin to trying to sleep on rocks. She was also very aware that she was getting thoroughly soaked by sweat and would probably smell of Equius for a week. But she was okay with that. More than okay, really, though she couldn’t decide whether she owed that thought to something hormonal in the sweat or the fun that could be had by freaking people out with such traces of her association with the boy.

Whatever. You couldn’t hang out with Equius and not pick up some weird preferences.

But of course she chose to undertake that risk, because his company was worth it for her. Not for the first time, she wondered why. Equius would always sing her praises and never seemed to notice that she never told him what it was that she loved about him. The feeling was there, she knew: whenever she thought about it, she could feel it burning deep crimson within her mind. But the causes of that feeling were more confusing by far.

It had started out purely biological, she knew that much. He was flushed; she was caliginous; so her body decided to flip things on her and turn her desire to break open his head into a desire to stick her tongue down his throat. But later on she’d found no desire to flip things back into blackrom. The aristocratic bastard she’d believed she hated simply wasn’t there. What was there was. . . strange, but it added up to someone who had been able to keep her flushed interest.

Yes, ‘strange’ was certainly the word for Equius. Strange and complicated. He was kind, in his own way, but you couldn’t simply say he was a nice guy like you could with Tavros. All the bigoted prejudices of his upbringing were still there; she’d learned that only on. Equius would do anything to please her, or to protect Nepeta; he would build prosthetics for Vriska and Tavros; but he’d watched trolls get fed to a spider outside of his window for sweeps and never cared beyond making sure his moirail would not join the grim procession. Their lives had meant almost nothing to Equius; they were not included into the group he cared about and so they were unimportant. But then, the difficulty inherent in making Equius care about something seemed to mean that when he did care, he cared with great intensity. Now that his personal circle and the total population were one and the same, perhaps it no longer mattered as much.

But Equius’s patterns of niceness and aggression, which were ultimately not that different from those of other trolls, were only the tip of the iceberg of idiosyncrasies possessed by the boy. It wasn’t like Equius even had layers - more like a tangled spaghetti of emotions and actions. One minute he could act the haughty highblood and then he would be reminded of something else and suddenly become the fawning, adorably helpless admirer. And when you allowed yourself to believe that was his true nature, he would suddenly grow wildly forceful with even his loved ones. He didn’t often give commands to Aradia, but if he did, he meant them. Whatever submissiveness he possessed was nowhere to be found, pushed out by the certainty that the actions he was ordering were for her own good. Even if she chose to ignore him she could certainly feel the force behind his voice.

And then when you allowed yourself to believe Equius was just too complex to ever figure out, he would punch a robot and demand a towel and suddenly he was wonderfully simple again.

So that was the difficulty. Equius had a lot to offer: his strength and intelligence, a strange kind of kindness and a stranger kind of concern, a strong attachment and a complex array of fetishes which seemed inseparable from genuinely platonic admirations. And Aradia couldn’t point to any one thing that made her love him. But combined they formed something very much lovable, if only in a very strange way.

So, could it be that what she loved about Equius was. . . Equius? Aradia nearly shook her head at the tautology but then changed it to a shrug at the last minute. If the boy’s character was too complex to compartmentalize, then maybe it was. Anyway, what difference did it make? Love was love; Equius didn’t seem to require an explanation and she owed none to anyone else; she was certainly comfortable enough with the situation. Some things did not need questioning.

So Aradia stopped questioning anything. Instead, she yawned, turned over, and went to sleep.

She would not be escaping for a while.

Aw, I love these two. They will always confuse me and that's half the fun.

[SkaianRedeemer]

That was a great character piece, Septimus, glad to have seen it!

[draconicAlgorithm]

I couldn't resist getting in on the horrible fanfic crossover shenanigans. Anyone familiar with this one? If not, you should check out the dramatic readings on Youtube.

My Inner Life

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I Lived My Entire Childhood With Link On Prospit. All Stemming From A Series Of Dreams. Dreams That I Want To Have. Dreams That I Make Happen. From The First Day I Met Him To The Birth Of Our New Mother Grub To Even The Days When Link And I Prepared Ourselves In The Event That The Black King Should Return. This Book Is Based On My Inner Life. A Second Life Lived In A Far Away Tower On A Golden Moon In Another Dimension. A Tale Of Matespritship Passion Despair And Hope. I Enjoyed My Inner Life. I Looked Forward To Going To Sleep To It Every Night. And I Look Forward To Ones That Will Come Because Love Will Never Die.

(THIS IS STUPID.)

Oh my god, I've read that one.

It was horrifying. Dx

I think I will avoid the dramatic readings on Youtube, kthnx.

@ Septimus: I was never a big fan of Equius/Aradia (not a hater, just not particularly interested), but this has started to make me like it. It's adorable and it makes sense.

[ceruleanTresses]

I think I will avoid the dramatic readings on Youtube, kthnx.

You have no idea what kind of awesome you are missing out on. The guy who does them has the world's funniest hammy voice.

[anonymousComrade]

but he’d watched trolls get fed to a spider outside of his window for sweeps and never cared beyond making sure his moirail would not join the grim procession.

And now a scenario is playing through my head

A scenario that will inevitably be written

Every time I try to get away, this thread pulls me right back in

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and I secretly love all of you for it

[Sam G]

So, I wrote a wee story based on that "Chaotic Strength" song on the new Homestuck album; it's basically an interpretation of what I think the song's providing a narration of. It's my first fic, like, ever, so any and all feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Anyway, here it is:

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Chaotic Strength

"I TOLD YOU TO MOTHERFUCKING KNEEL, MOTHERFUCKER!"

Equius saw the highblood notch the arrow, saw it fly towards him, but did nothing to stop it; it entered his left leg just above the knee, and he exhaled sharply - more out of shock than of pain - and dropped to one knee.

The highblood was indeed behaving unusually, Equius noted; Vantas had not exaggerated in the slightest. Equius was about to try and pull himself to his feet, but then all of a sudden the highblood was right there, standing in front of him, holding his bow in both hands.

It was a fine bow - hand-crafted, by the looks of it, though Equius couldn't imagine where the highblood had found it - and as such, he felt a particular shiver of excitement when the highblood snapped the shaft. Such work had gone into the making of it, all for it to be dwindled away and made useless for anything other than a pair of impractical clubs, all for that one instant of shallow pleasure, the feeling of having it crack! in your hands...

The highblood was spreading his arms to the sides now, raising the bow-string up and over Equius's head, and now it was pretty clead what he intended to do.
Should Equius attempt to stop him? No, it wouldn't be proper; if this was the highblood's will, then it was not Equius's place to hinder him.
And anyway, perhaps this was for the best. Equius was nought but a lowly blueblood, and if this majestic purple-blooded troll had decided that all but his regal caste should be purged, then he must be correct.

The bowstring was around Equius's neck now, and he took extra-special care not to accidentally twitch one of his neck-muscles and snap the string.

The cord cutting off his air-supply was sore around his neck, but Equius felt rather comfortable in other areas; and if these were to be his last moments, shouldn't he make a bit of an effort to enjoy them?
Equius could feel himself perspiring, and though for the first time in due memory the highblood didn't have a cheerful look on his face Equius was incapable of holding back a grin of his own.
Strangled to death by a purple-blooded clown with a genocide complex. Equius couldn't have dreamed of a better fate.

But as he fell back to the ground, the life gone from his body and the highblood's grip on the bow loosened, Equius thought he caught a flash of green out of the corner of his eye. No... That couldn't be...

There was no time to dwell on such thoughts.
Equius, his vision fading away into blackness and his thoughts slipping away like rain through a grate, hit the ground with a resounding "DEAD." which echoed throughout the lab.

*

"Hey. Fuckass."

Equius could hear a voice. He pried his eyes open; everything was slightly hazy, but he could make out one black-and-grey shape against the bright white background which made up the world he was in quite clearly.
"Vantas...?" he struggled to say.

"That's "fearless leader" to you, shitsponge. That is, assuming you haven't decided to go over to His Mirthful Highness's side, which you blatantly have, otherwise I wouldn't be standing here talking to you like this..."
Karkat's face was becoming clearer, and he was evidently rather unimpressed with Equius's recent conduct. "You disobeyed a direct order. It was really simple, as well: "beat the homicidal fucking clown to death with your bare hands before he murders anybody". This right here-" Karkat gestured at Equius, then at the empty world around them, to show that he was referring to Equius's current situation- "-is fucking insubordination."

"He bested me in combat-" Equius started, composing his own defense.
"Yeah, only because you let him! I obviously didn't want you to go up to him, get down on your knees and offer yourself up to him as a fucking sacrifice! I shouldn't have had to fucking specify that!"

Karkat closed his eyes and composed himself. "Alright, new orders. Go kick the shit out of Gamzee, but this time, I order you not to kneel down like a bitch and let him kill you, then give him free reign to go after every other motherfucker in the goddamn Veil.
"Oh, and do it fast, he's about to slaughter your meowrail."

"Nepeta...?" Equius stuttered. He'd ordered her to hide, not to follow him, and even as insubordinate as she was she wouldn't have disobeyed him like that; but there again, he had caught sight of something green out of the corner of his eye just before he slipped away into oblivion, hadn't he...? Oh, no...

And then, for a brief instant, the scowling grey figure in front of Equius changed into someone else; someone in a red outfit with a rather familiar face, but a highly unfamiliar smile plastered on it.

And unbeknownst to Gamzee, who was busy advancing menacingly on the defenceless Nepeta with triple rivulets of regal purple blood running down his face, the lifeless body of Equius started to perspire quite heavily.

"You can do it. I believe in you," the figure assured Equius, and he was pulling himself to his feet, trying to say her name, when all of a sudden she was gone and Equius was back in the lab, sitting half-upright on the hard metal ground.

*

The highblood, holding a juggling club above his head and looming over Nepeta, who was sprawled in a heap at his feet, turned his head and spotted that Equius was alive again.
"Hey, best motherfucking fr-" he started to say, but Equius had spotted what position he was in and in an instant he was holding the highblood by the shirt.
"Get away from her," Equius snarled. The highblood grinned and started to say something, but Equius decided he didn't actually want to hear it and he punched Gamzee in the face.

Gamzee was sent flying into the metal wall at the far side of the room (he left a dent), and Equius had a moment to assess the situation.

The arrow through his leg needed tending to, but that would have to wait; as would the inhuman amounts of sweat dripping down his face. Oh, and it appeared he'd lost his sunglasses as well; that was a shame.
Ideally he would have liked to escort Nepeta away from the battlefield, had he the time, but no, now Gamzee was up again, that nightmarish grin showing off a few loose teeth, and he was striding towards Equius with his clubs in his hands.

And suddenly Equius was mad as hell. How dare this inhuman monster raise a hand to dear, lovely Nepeta? How dare he even entertain thoughts of such an idea. whatever his blood colour?
And suddenly Equius understood what was really important to him. The clown may have liquid running through his veins that had a slightly different pigment to everyone else's, bit sweet, darling Nepeta had been a friend to Equius for so many sweeps; she was so cheerful, and so kind, and Equius cared about her more than anyone else in the universe.

And now Gamzee wanted to hurt her.

Equius's orders were clear.

He sprang forward from the spot where he was standing, and before Gamzee had a chance to react Equius cannonballed into him, hitting him in the chest with his head.
Gamzee was thrown backwards, landing on his back on the floor, and Equius landed in a crouch in front of him.

Equius leaned down and picked Gamzee up by his throat, and for the first time Gamzee got a good look at the motherfucker's eyes: they were pure murder, in all its' beauty. This guy was angry - really, really motherfucking angry - and the thought of that made Gamzee really, really motherfucking happy.

Gamzee would have liked to take another moment to appreciate the sight, but then there was a fist in his face, then another, and he was forced to consider other matters.

Gamzee swatted upwards with one of his clubs, catching Equius in the chin, and the blueblood's head rocked back and spit flew out from between his teeth.
Gamzee took a step away from him, then raised his club again and swung it at the side of Equius's head. Equius caught it in the palm of his hand and crushed it into splinters.
Ever the opportunist, Gamzee lunged with the pointy end of the ex-club and caught Equius a glancing blow to the chest.
The improvised stake tore through Equius's vest and raked a jagged line across the skin, drawing blood. Equius hissed, then caught Gamzee's extended arm with one hand and struck the forearm with the other.
Gamzee's arm snapped and he started laughing wildly, dropping his remaining club and assaulting Equius bare-handed. He tried a punch to the chest, a hook to the chin, an open-handed chop to the side of the neck, a wild jump-kick that wasn't particularly aimed anywhere; Equius avoided every blow, then retaliated with his own.

His first punch caused Gamzee's ribcage to cave in. His second broke Gamzee's other arm. His third tore a chunk of flesh out of Gamzee's side. His fourth sent Gamzee's head sharply to the right with enough force to crack vertebrae. His fifth knocked Gamzee to the ground, and he skidded along a few metres, leaving a purple trail behind him.

Gamzee cackled, his face contorted in pain but his malicious grin still present. He uttered a final "honk", then died.

Equius limped over to Nepeta, still not really aware of the pain in his leg. He was afraid she would shy away, having just witnessed his excessively brutal display of STRENGTH, but she just smiled up at him, and instantly he felt a lot calmer.

Neither said a word; Equius simply picked Nepeta up in his arms (she probably could have walked, but Equius didn't care) and went to report back to his leader.

Mission complete.

[Path]

Oh yeah, and Septimus, that was great.

[Graven_Image]

The seeds of this one were planted by Doc Scratch's tirade on titles and the realization thereof. So here we go.

Fulfillment

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You were always my favorite.

You hated the tasks I gave you. You hated the world you found yourself in.

But I weave even the most stubborn of notes into my grand symphony.

It was a novel concept, having the Prince kill his angels. But it was so beautiful. You were beautiful. The angels knew. I told them. They didn't like it.

Do you know what happens when an angel dies? They vanish. Their bodies and spirits just poof away, like a bad dream. And so they should. I cannot have my wonderful gem marred by the sight of decay, of the stench of rot. The only thing left after the fact was your anger, your despair.

I regret having to unleash the true demon upon you. But you were not ready. You were not ready to walk through the door, my Prince. You could not be, having ignored my lessons and my advice. So your reward had to be denied, for a time.

It's an ironic thing, when you give it enough thought, how you played a far more grand part in a dingy hollow in an asteroid than you ever did in the luminescent splendor of your land. How such little things came to mean so much. An overly trusting Sylph granted you the power you would need. The power over Hope.

She, too, was a part of the mural I wove, endlessly complex and unfeasible in her importance. But then again, you all were.

I have many rules I follow when I write my grand works, one of them being that I cannot suffer the races I host to live through it. It is the price they must pay for the privilege of donating their youngest and brightest to my dazzling symphony of love and war.

One among you held the last bit of your race that was not one of my twelve. And as part of the song, my song, she had to die.

It was you. It was always going to be you, Prince.

You remember. The room, the battle. A jilted lover slaying his paramour-to-be. The hopes and dreams of an entire species, lost in a single blast of white. The caretaker of those hopes, seeing her hard work and all her anticipation chopped away, leaving a bloody stump of anticlimax as agonizing as a lost limb.

You were truly the Prince of Hope in that moment. You were its ruler. Its judge, its jury.... and its executioner.

It was terrible. And it was beautiful.

It had to be. I made it, after all.

But alas, the song turned to a minor key shortly after. The play had to take a tone of tragedy.

It had to. I made it.

You remember.

The blind rush of fury, the anger of a recently-dead Sylph. Your tool, useless for my needs, was shattered. And soon enough, so were you.

I must thank you, my Prince. You were truly the brightest of my collection. You were the one strain of my symphony that rose above the rest, however briefly.

You were beautiful.

But I am finished with you.

Good-night, sweet Prince.

Pleasant dreams.

A/N

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Well, that was cheerful.

Now you can all take turns guessing who the narrator is.

[ArmsAreLoud]

Sounds like Lord English to me.

[pimudragonfeline]

Sgrb itself? Skaia?

[lucidSeraph]

doc scratch man

[deathsbuddy]

So, I wrote a wee story based on that "Chaotic Strength" song on the new Homestuck album; it's basically an interpretation of what I think the song's providing a narration of. It's my first fic, like, ever, so any and all feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Anyway, here it is:

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hide spoiler

Chaotic Strength

"I TOLD YOU TO MOTHERFUCKING KNEEL, MOTHERFUCKER!"

Equius saw the highblood notch the arrow, saw it fly towards him, but did nothing to stop it; it entered his left leg just above the knee, and he exhaled sharply - more out of shock than of pain - and dropped to one knee.

The highblood was indeed behaving unusually, Equius noted; Vantas had not exaggerated in the slightest. Equius was about to try and pull himself to his feet, but then all of a sudden the highblood was right there, standing in front of him, holding his bow in both hands.

It was a fine bow - hand-crafted, by the looks of it, though Equius couldn't imagine where the highblood had found it - and as such, he felt a particular shiver of excitement when the highblood snapped the shaft. Such work had gone into the making of it, all for it to be dwindled away and made useless for anything other than a pair of impractical clubs, all for that one instant of shallow pleasure, the feeling of having it crack! in your hands...

The highblood was spreading his arms to the sides now, raising the bow-string up and over Equius's head, and now it was pretty clead what he intended to do.
Should Equius attempt to stop him? No, it wouldn't be proper; if this was the highblood's will, then it was not Equius's place to hinder him.
And anyway, perhaps this was for the best. Equius was nought but a lowly blueblood, and if this majestic purple-blooded troll had decided that all but his regal caste should be purged, then he must be correct.

The bowstring was around Equius's neck now, and he took extra-special care not to accidentally twitch one of his neck-muscles and snap the string.

The cord cutting off his air-supply was sore around his neck, but Equius felt rather comfortable in other areas; and if these were to be his last moments, shouldn't he make a bit of an effort to enjoy them?
Equius could feel himself perspiring, and though for the first time in due memory the highblood didn't have a cheerful look on his face Equius was incapable of holding back a grin of his own.
Strangled to death by a purple-blooded clown with a genocide complex. Equius couldn't have dreamed of a better fate.

But as he fell back to the ground, the life gone from his body and the highblood's grip on the bow loosened, Equius thought he caught a flash of green out of the corner of his eye. No... That couldn't be...

There was no time to dwell on such thoughts.
Equius, his vision fading away into blackness and his thoughts slipping away like rain through a grate, hit the ground with a resounding "DEAD." which echoed throughout the lab.

*

"Hey. Fuckass."

Equius could hear a voice. He pried his eyes open; everything was slightly hazy, but he could make out one black-and-grey shape against the bright white background which made up the world he was in quite clearly.
"Vantas...?" he struggled to say.

"That's "fearless leader" to you, shitsponge. That is, assuming you haven't decided to go over to His Mirthful Highness's side, which you blatantly have, otherwise I wouldn't be standing here talking to you like this..."
Karkat's face was becoming clearer, and he was evidently rather unimpressed with Equius's recent conduct. "You disobeyed a direct order. It was really simple, as well: "beat the homicidal fucking clown to death with your bare hands before he murders anybody". This right here-" Karkat gestured at Equius, then at the empty world around them, to show that he was referring to Equius's current situation- "-is fucking insubordination."

"He bested me in combat-" Equius started, composing his own defense.
"Yeah, only because you let him! I obviously didn't want you to go up to him, get down on your knees and offer yourself up to him as a fucking sacrifice! I shouldn't have had to fucking specify that!"

Karkat closed his eyes and composed himself. "Alright, new orders. Go kick the shit out of Gamzee, but this time, I order you not to kneel down like a bitch and let him kill you, then give him free reign to go after every other motherfucker in the goddamn Veil.
"Oh, and do it fast, he's about to slaughter your meowrail."

"Nepeta...?" Equius stuttered. He'd ordered her to hide, not to follow him, and even as insubordinate as she was she wouldn't have disobeyed him like that; but there again, he had caught sight of something green out of the corner of his eye just before he slipped away into oblivion, hadn't he...? Oh, no...

And then, for a brief instant, the scowling grey figure in front of Equius changed into someone else; someone in a red outfit with a rather familiar face, but a highly unfamiliar smile plastered on it.

And unbeknownst to Gamzee, who was busy advancing menacingly on the defenceless Nepeta with triple rivulets of regal purple blood running down his face, the lifeless body of Equius started to perspire quite heavily.

"You can do it. I believe in you," the figure assured Equius, and he was pulling himself to his feet, trying to say her name, when all of a sudden she was gone and Equius was back in the lab, sitting half-upright on the hard metal ground.

*

The highblood, holding a juggling club above his head and looming over Nepeta, who was sprawled in a heap at his feet, turned his head and spotted that Equius was alive again.
"Hey, best motherfucking fr-" he started to say, but Equius had spotted what position he was in and in an instant he was holding the highblood by the shirt.
"Get away from her," Equius snarled. The highblood grinned and started to say something, but Equius decided he didn't actually want to hear it and he punched Gamzee in the face.

Gamzee was sent flying into the metal wall at the far side of the room (he left a dent), and Equius had a moment to assess the situation.

The arrow through his leg needed tending to, but that would have to wait; as would the inhuman amounts of sweat dripping down his face. Oh, and it appeared he'd lost his sunglasses as well; that was a shame.
Ideally he would have liked to escort Nepeta away from the battlefield, had he the time, but no, now Gamzee was up again, that nightmarish grin showing off a few loose teeth, and he was striding towards Equius with his clubs in his hands.

And suddenly Equius was mad as hell. How dare this inhuman monster raise a hand to dear, lovely Nepeta? How dare he even entertain thoughts of such an idea. whatever his blood colour?
And suddenly Equius understood what was really important to him. The clown may have liquid running through his veins that had a slightly different pigment to everyone else's, bit sweet, darling Nepeta had been a friend to Equius for so many sweeps; she was so cheerful, and so kind, and Equius cared about her more than anyone else in the universe.

And now Gamzee wanted to hurt her.

Equius's orders were clear.

He sprang forward from the spot where he was standing, and before Gamzee had a chance to react Equius cannonballed into him, hitting him in the chest with his head.
Gamzee was thrown backwards, landing on his back on the floor, and Equius landed in a crouch in front of him.

Equius leaned down and picked Gamzee up by his throat, and for the first time Gamzee got a good look at the motherfucker's eyes: they were pure murder, in all its' beauty. This guy was angry - really, really motherfucking angry - and the thought of that made Gamzee really, really motherfucking happy.

Gamzee would have liked to take another moment to appreciate the sight, but then there was a fist in his face, then another, and he was forced to consider other matters.

Gamzee swatted upwards with one of his clubs, catching Equius in the chin, and the blueblood's head rocked back and spit flew out from between his teeth.
Gamzee took a step away from him, then raised his club again and swung it at the side of Equius's head. Equius caught it in the palm of his hand and crushed it into splinters.
Ever the opportunist, Gamzee lunged with the pointy end of the ex-club and caught Equius a glancing blow to the chest.
The improvised stake tore through Equius's vest and raked a jagged line across the skin, drawing blood. Equius hissed, then caught Gamzee's extended arm with one hand and struck the forearm with the other.
Gamzee's arm snapped and he started laughing wildly, dropping his remaining club and assaulting Equius bare-handed. He tried a punch to the chest, a hook to the chin, an open-handed chop to the side of the neck, a wild jump-kick that wasn't particularly aimed anywhere; Equius avoided every blow, then retaliated with his own.

His first punch caused Gamzee's ribcage to cave in. His second broke Gamzee's other arm. His third tore a chunk of flesh out of Gamzee's side. His fourth sent Gamzee's head sharply to the right with enough force to crack vertebrae. His fifth knocked Gamzee to the ground, and he skidded along a few metres, leaving a purple trail behind him.

Gamzee cackled, his face contorted in pain but his malicious grin still present. He uttered a final "honk", then died.

Equius limped over to Nepeta, still not really aware of the pain in his leg. He was afraid she would shy away, having just witnessed his excessively brutal display of STRENGTH, but she just smiled up at him, and instantly he felt a lot calmer.

Neither said a word; Equius simply picked Nepeta up in his arms (she probably could have walked, but Equius didn't care) and went to report back to his leader.

Mission complete.

Nobody commented on this. I don't know why, it's really wonderful. Sorry I don't have any constructive feedback for it, but if this is your first fic you should definitely continue writing.

[anonymousComrade]

Hey look at me, I'm anonymousComrade and I write every dumb idea that pops into my head

There's no way this or something similar hasn't been written but I wrote it anyway, because I lack self-control

Also yes, this was the thing I mentioned a few posts ago:

The Palest of 'Rails

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hide spoiler

-- arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling centaursTesticle [CT] --

AC: :33 < *the cat girl curls around the fierce musclebeast's f33t*
AC: :33 < *she rubs her ch33k against his ankle affectionately*
CT: D --> What
AC: :33 < *she opens her mouth to speak*
CT: D --> I am busy with my roboti%, Nepeta
CT: D --> Please make this quick
AC: :33 < *she wants to know if it's okay with him to go flarping tonight*
CT: D --> This depends on who will be participating
AC: :33 < *she says terezi, tavros, aradia and eridan will be there*
CT: D --> The tealb100d is a strange one but I doubt she w001d let you come to harm
CT: D --> I cannot totally approve of your acquaintanceship with the rustb100d but he presents no threat to your safety
CT: D --> Aradia... is a complicated subject, but I shall allow you to associate with her
CT: D --> It is the seadweller's presence I am not altogether comfortable with
CT: D --> This usually indicates the b100b100d will be participating in this diversion
AC: :33 < *ac pauses*
CT: D --> Nepeta
CT: D --> Is she part of tonight's campaign
AC: :33 < *she sh33pishly says maybe?*
CT: D --> Then abso100tely not
CT: D --> I have made my position e%eedingly clear on this matter
CT: D --> You are not to play this game with the b100b100d
AC: :33 < oh come on equius, pleeeeeeaaaaaase!
AC: :33 < *she says*
CT: D --> I shall not waver
CT: D --> You will not
AC: >:33 < why not?!
AC: >:33 < *she asks*
AC: >:33 < *angrily*
CT: D --> I have my reasons
CT: D --> I am doing this for your own good
AC: >:33 < you're just jealous because i have furriends and nobody wants to spend time with you because of your cr33py robots and how you drench everything in your stinky awful sweat!
AC: >:33 < *she makes up her mind to go anyway, regardless of what the meanest musclebeast EVER says!*
CT: D --> You will not
CT: D --> This is an order
AC: :33 < *ac sticks her tongue out at ct*
CT: D --> Nepeta
CT: D --> Cease this f001ishness at once
CT: D --> You will not play this "FLARP" tonight and that is final
CT: D --> Do you hear me

-- arsenicCatnip [AC] has blocked centaursTesticle [CT] --

CT: D --> Fiddlesticks

-- arsenicCatnip [AC] did not receive message! --

-- centaursTesticle [CT] ceased trolling arsenicCatnip [AC] --

-----

That could have gone better, he decided, as his fist smashed into another steel face.

Equius looked at the window facing Vriska's hive. He simply could not comprehend how Nepeta didn't understand why he forbade her from FLARP campaigns with Vriska. No, surely she knew, and in the end, she would obey Equius's orders to stay away from Vriska. Right? Of course she would, she couldn't disobey her moirail.

And yet, the thought lingered at the back of his mind. Nepeta had resisted Equius's orders before, but always complied in the end. But she had never shown this sort of open defiance toward him before. If she were harmed in any way...

He put the thought out of his mind as he tore another metallic fighter in half. Nepeta was headstrong, stubborn, impulsive, but not stupid. He had nothing to worry about, all would be fine in the end.

Right?

-----

"Fudgesicles!" A glass of lusus milk shattered in Equius's hand for the third time today. Darn it all, he'd almost managed to lift it to his mouth this time! If only there were an easier way of doing this, perhaps some kind of liquid delivery system involving a narrow hollow tube that would allow him to drink without even touching the glass via the process of suction. No, such an idea was poppycock, and he knew it.

He considered re-entering the ring to let off some steam briefly, before realizing all of his combat robots needed repairs. Instead, he fondly regarded his musclebeast art. Such grace, such majesty, such STRENGTH! The way they subjugated lower forms to their whims, the way they destroyed entire buildings with naught but their own anatomy! When there were no robots left to fight, art appreciation served well to calm Equius down.

His sight crossed a window facing Vriska's hive, and he noticed she was home. The FLARP campaign must have ended for tonight, and she was now leading the losers to their fates at the hands of her monstrous lusus. Moments like these made him glad he had Aurthour; he had no need for such extremes in his daily care, and the most Aurthour had ever demanded of Equius was to try keeping the noise down in the battle ring while he slept.

He watched as those defeated in tonight's game jumped to their deaths into the spider's web, and one of them near the back of the line caught his eye. It was difficult to tell from such a distance, but that particular troll's outfit looked somehow familiar. Green, and blue? From this distance he couldn't be sure but...

His eyes widened as he removed his shades to get a clearer view. He had expressly forbidden her from going tonight and she'd always listened to him, surely it couldn't be her. But in the pit of his stomach, he knew he was looking at Nepeta, about to throw herself into the jaws of the beast.

"AURTHOUR! Nepeta is in danger! Remain on your guard, I do not know how the b100b100d will react to my interference."

-----

Equius broke into a STRONG SPRINT before he even left his hive, breaking down his front door. He calculated the angles and heights he'd need to leap mid-stride, then a second later, made the first of many STRONG JUMPS crisscrossing the chasm to reach Vriska's hive.

Five STRONG JUMPS had propelled him most of the way to the grisly scene. Now he needed to climb the cliff face the rest of the way. He roared as he finally emerged and pulled himself over the edge.

"VRISKA!!!"

Equius's assumptions were correct. Nepeta stood before him, manipulated into motion by Vriska, green blood staining her black undershirt and splotched across her blue cat hood.

"You will release her immediately."
"Hahahahahahahaha! Or what, you muscle8ound moron? I'm culling these losers because they're WEAK! They're weak weaklings and they deserve what they're a8out to get!"
"You will release Nepeta this instant."
"...Okay." And with that, Vriska pushed Nepeta off the cliff.

Equius moved quicker than he'd ever moved in his life. He STRONG DOVE off the cliff and caught Nepeta's falling body in mid-air, then twisted to STRONG PUNCH the rock wall, burying his arm in it and stopping their descent, mere feet above the giant spider's reach. He carefully slung Nepeta over his shoulder and began climbing upward. He was going to give Vriska a piece of his mind.

"8ravo, musclehead!" Vriska taunted him as he finally reached the top. "Nice moves! Now, give me 8ack my prize."
"I will not." Equius laid Nepeta's still-unconscious form behind him, putting himself between her and the other blueblood.
"Ooooooooh! I didn't know you fancied yourself a hero! You're just as 8ad as Toraeasnore. 8ut you're a liiiiiiiittle too l8 to save them all."
Equius growled at her. "Stop this at once."
"Or... is it 8ecause it's her? Are you flushed for this little green8lood, Equius? How cute! The palest of 'rails are turning into 8urning crimson m8sprits! Should I get a pail and call the imperial drones now? Excuse me while I VOMIT."

Equius grit his teeth at the l00d accusation and grabbed her by the collar of her shirt. He removed his shades to be abso100tely sure she knew he meant business.

"You will not harm Nepeta. I will take her back to my hive and tend to her injuries, and you will leave us alone."
"Hahahahahahahaha! And if I don't? Why should I let you esc8pe with wh8t's rightfully mine?"
"If ANYTHING happens to Nepeta after we have absconded from this place..."

He brought his face within an inch of hers, teeth bared and eyes burning with a fury unlike any she had ever seen.

"...I will devote the entirety of my e%istence to making you BEG for death."

She bared her own fangs in response. "Fine, then. 8ut you OWE me."

Equius threw her to the ground with as little force as he could muster. Even holding back as much as he did, the impact still knocked the breath out of her. She would not be following them for some time.

"I trust this matter is resolved, Miss Serket."

He picked up Nepeta as carefully as he could, and STRONG FELL back to his own hive.

-----

"Aurthour! I have rescued Nepeta from her predicament. I require the first aid kit!"

His centaur lusus emerged almost immediately. Equius took the medical kit from him.

"Here, carry her to the roboti% lab, I know you will not a%identally harm her. I will prepare for dressing her wounds."

-----

Nepeta awoke some time later, unsure of her surroundings. She felt her side; the slash she had taken during a particularly nasty strife had been bandaged up, as had the blow to her forehead, the same one she suspected knocked her out. She couldn't remember much after that; just a vague feeling of being led somewhere, a sensation of falling and being caught, but by who?

The answer made itself known, behind her. "Good, you are awake."
"...equius? is that you?" She turned and saw it was, indeed, him. She blushed like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar. "i guess you know what i did tonight, then."
"Yes. Do you understand now why I do not want you around her?"
She was a bit confused. "not really. i mean i took a few hits but everything turned out okay, right?"
"Nepeta, Vriska nearly led you to your death. Had I not happened to look outside when I did, she would have fed you to her lusus. Luck and my own 100dicrous STRENGTH were the only things that ensured your survival tonight."

He turned away from her. "I implore you, associate with Miss Serket no longer! If something were to happen to you, I do not know how I could live with myself."

Poor guy, he was blaming himself for all this! Nepeta climbed off the table she was sprawled out on and hugged him from behind.

"*the kitty cat apologizes for not listening to her meowrail*"
"It is alright, Nepeta. You are safe now."
"you aren't mad at meow, then?"
"I am simply glad I was able to rescue you."
"*then the kitty ALSO apologizes for the mean things she said about him earlier!*"
"Do not worry, I was not offended. It is true, my robots are somewhat unsettling and I do perspire quite a lot."

She couldn't help but laugh at that.

Notes:

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All at once, this story tries to explain why Nepeta listens when Equius tells her not to do something, and then why Equius would build a robotic arm if this ever actually took place ("Fine, then. 8ut you OWE me.") I'm not sure if it did a great job of either! In fact, knowing my luck there's a vital piece of canon I'm forgetting that makes this entire scenario crumble like a house of cards

But there it is anyway

Also, I'm not sure I wrote Equius as enough of a creep! I get the feeling that I am writing Equius-lite here

A parting thought: I finally wrote something that dealt with actual Homestuck characters and did not ship Karkat and Terezi with the force of an exploding neutron star. I am to be commended for my efforts.

[Rimbaum]

Hey look at me, I'm anonymousComrade and I write every dumb idea that pops into my head

There's no way this or something similar hasn't been written but I wrote it anyway, because I lack self-control

Also yes, this was the thing I mentioned a few posts ago:

The Palest of 'Rails

show spoiler

hide spoiler

-- arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling centaursTesticle [CT] --

AC: :33 < *the cat girl curls around the fierce musclebeast's f33t*
AC: :33 < *she rubs her ch33k against his ankle affectionately*
CT: D --> What
AC: :33 < *she opens her mouth to speak*
CT: D --> I am busy with my roboti%, Nepeta
CT: D --> Please make this quick
AC: :33 < *she wants to know if it's okay with him to go flarping tonight*
CT: D --> This depends on who will be participating
AC: :33 < *she says terezi, tavros, aradia and eridan will be there*
CT: D --> The tealb100d is a strange one but I doubt she w001d let you come to harm
CT: D --> I cannot totally approve of your acquaintanceship with the rustb100d but he presents no threat to your safety
CT: D --> Aradia... is a complicated subject, but I shall allow you to associate with her
CT: D --> It is the seadweller's presence I am not altogether comfortable with
CT: D --> This usually indicates the b100b100d will be participating in this diversion
AC: :33 < *ac pauses*
CT: D --> Nepeta
CT: D --> Is she part of tonight's campaign
AC: :33 < *she sh33pishly says maybe?*
CT: D --> Then abso100tely not
CT: D --> I have made my position e%eedingly clear on this matter
CT: D --> You are not to play this game with the b100b100d
AC: :33 < oh come on equius, pleeeeeeaaaaaase!
AC: :33 < *she says*
CT: D --> I shall not waver
CT: D --> You will not
AC: >:33 < why not?!
AC: >:33 < *she asks*
AC: >:33 < *angrily*
CT: D --> I have my reasons
CT: D --> I am doing this for your own good
AC: >:33 < you're just jealous because i have furriends and nobody wants to spend time with you because of your cr33py robots and how you drench everything in your stinky awful sweat!
AC: >:33 < *she makes up her mind to go anyway, regardless of what the meanest musclebeast EVER says!*
CT: D --> You will not
CT: D --> This is an order
AC: :33 < *ac sticks her tongue out at ct*
CT: D --> Nepeta
CT: D --> Cease this f001ishness at once
CT: D --> You will not play this "FLARP" tonight and that is final
CT: D --> Do you hear me

-- arsenicCatnip [AC] has blocked centaursTesticle [CT] --

CT: D --> Fiddlesticks

-- arsenicCatnip [AC] did not receive message! --

-- centaursTesticle [CT] ceased trolling arsenicCatnip [AC] --

-----

That could have gone better, he decided, as his fist smashed into another steel face.

Equius looked at the window facing Vriska's hive. He simply could not comprehend how Nepeta didn't understand why he forbade her from FLARP campaigns with Vriska. No, surely she knew, and in the end, she would obey Equius's orders to stay away from Vriska. Right? Of course she would, she couldn't disobey her moirail.

And yet, the thought lingered at the back of his mind. Nepeta had resisted Equius's orders before, but always complied in the end. But she had never shown this sort of open defiance toward him before. If she were harmed in any way...

He put the thought out of his mind as he tore another metallic fighter in half. Nepeta was headstrong, stubborn, impulsive, but not stupid. He had nothing to worry about, all would be fine in the end.

Right?

-----

"Fudgesicles!" A glass of lusus milk shattered in Equius's hand for the third time today. Darn it all, he'd almost managed to lift it to his mouth this time! If only there were an easier way of doing this, perhaps some kind of liquid delivery system involving a narrow hollow tube that would allow him to drink without even touching the glass via the process of suction. No, such an idea was poppycock, and he knew it.

He considered re-entering the ring to let off some steam briefly, before realizing all of his combat robots needed repairs. Instead, he fondly regarded his musclebeast art. Such grace, such majesty, such STRENGTH! The way they subjugated lower forms to their whims, the way they destroyed entire buildings with naught but their own anatomy! When there were no robots left to fight, art appreciation served well to calm Equius down.

His sight crossed a window facing Vriska's hive, and he noticed she was home. The FLARP campaign must have ended for tonight, and she was now leading the losers to their fates at the hands of her monstrous lusus. Moments like these made him glad he had Aurthour; he had no need for such extremes in his daily care, and the most Aurthour had ever demanded of Equius was to try keeping the noise down in the battle ring while he slept.

He watched as those defeated in tonight's game jumped to their deaths into the spider's web, and one of them near the back of the line caught his eye. It was difficult to tell from such a distance, but that particular troll's outfit looked somehow familiar. Green, and blue? From this distance he couldn't be sure but...

His eyes widened as he removed his shades to get a clearer view. He had expressly forbidden her from going tonight and she'd always listened to him, surely it couldn't be her. But in the pit of his stomach, he knew he was looking at Nepeta, about to throw herself into the jaws of the beast.

"AURTHOUR! Nepeta is in danger! Remain on your guard, I do not know how the b100b100d will react to my interference."

-----

Equius broke into a STRONG SPRINT before he even left his hive, breaking down his front door. He calculated the angles and heights he'd need to leap mid-stride, then a second later, made the first of many STRONG JUMPS crisscrossing the chasm to reach Vriska's hive.

Five STRONG JUMPS had propelled him most of the way to the grisly scene. Now he needed to climb the cliff face the rest of the way. He roared as he finally emerged and pulled himself over the edge.

"VRISKA!!!"

Equius's assumptions were correct. Nepeta stood before him, manipulated into motion by Vriska, green blood staining her black undershirt and splotched across her blue cat hood.

"You will release her immediately."
"Hahahahahahahaha! Or what, you muscle8ound moron? I'm culling these losers because they're WEAK! They're weak weaklings and they deserve what they're a8out to get!"
"You will release Nepeta this instant."
"...Okay." And with that, Vriska pushed Nepeta off the cliff.

Equius moved quicker than he'd ever moved in his life. He STRONG DOVE off the cliff and caught Nepeta's falling body in mid-air, then twisted to STRONG PUNCH the rock wall, burying his arm in it and stopping their descent, mere feet above the giant spider's reach. He carefully slung Nepeta over his shoulder and began climbing upward. He was going to give Vriska a piece of his mind.

"8ravo, musclehead!" Vriska taunted him as he finally reached the top. "Nice moves! Now, give me 8ack my prize."
"I will not." Equius laid Nepeta's still-unconscious form behind him, putting himself between her and the other blueblood.
"Ooooooooh! I didn't know you fancied yourself a hero! You're just as 8ad as Toraeasnore. 8ut you're a liiiiiiiittle too l8 to save them all."
Equius growled at her. "Stop this at once."
"Or... is it 8ecause it's her? Are you flushed for this little green8lood, Equius? How cute! The palest of 'rails are turning into 8urning crimson m8sprits! Should I get a pail and call the imperial drones now? Excuse me while I VOMIT."

Equius grit his teeth at the l00d accusation and grabbed her by the collar of her shirt. He removed his shades to be abso100tely sure she knew he meant business.

"You will not harm Nepeta. I will take her back to my hive and tend to her injuries, and you will leave us alone."
"Hahahahahahahaha! And if I don't? Why should I let you esc8pe with wh8t's rightfully mine?"
"If ANYTHING happens to Nepeta after we have absconded from this place..."

He brought his face within an inch of hers, teeth bared and eyes burning with a fury unlike any she had ever seen.

"...I will devote the entirety of my e%istence to making you BEG for death."

She bared her own fangs in response. "Fine, then. 8ut you OWE me."

Equius threw her to the ground with as little force as he could muster. Even holding back as much as he did, the impact still knocked the breath out of her. She would not be following them for some time.

"I trust this matter is resolved, Miss Serket."

He picked up Nepeta as carefully as he could, and STRONG FELL back to his own hive.

-----

"Aurthour! I have rescued Nepeta from her predicament. I require the first aid kit!"

His centaur lusus emerged almost immediately. Equius took the medical kit from him.

"Here, carry her to the roboti% lab, I know you will not a%identally harm her. I will prepare for dressing her wounds."

-----

Nepeta awoke some time later, unsure of her surroundings. She felt her side; the slash she had taken during a particularly nasty strife had been bandaged up, as had the blow to her forehead, the same one she suspected knocked her out. She couldn't remember much after that; just a vague feeling of being led somewhere, a sensation of falling and being caught, but by who?

The answer made itself known, behind her. "Good, you are awake."
"...equius? is that you?" She turned and saw it was, indeed, him. She blushed like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar. "i guess you know what i did tonight, then."
"Yes. Do you understand now why I do not want you around her?"
She was a bit confused. "not really. i mean i took a few hits but everything turned out okay, right?"
"Nepeta, Vriska nearly led you to your death. Had I not happened to look outside when I did, she would have fed you to her lusus. Luck and my own 100dicrous STRENGTH were the only things that ensured your survival tonight."

He turned away from her. "I implore you, associate with Miss Serket no longer! If something were to happen to you, I do not know how I could live with myself."

Poor guy, he was blaming himself for all this! Nepeta climbed off the table she was sprawled out on and hugged him from behind.

"*the kitty cat apologizes for not listening to her meowrail*"
"It is alright, Nepeta. You are safe now."
"you aren't mad at meow, then?"
"I am simply glad I was able to rescue you."
"*then the kitty ALSO apologizes for the mean things she said about him earlier!*"
"Do not worry, I was not offended. It is true, my robots are somewhat unsettling and I do perspire quite a lot."

She couldn't help but laugh at that.

Notes:

show spoiler

hide spoiler

All at once, this story tries to explain why Nepeta listens when Equius tells her not to do something, and then why Equius would build a robotic arm if this ever actually took place ("Fine, then. 8ut you OWE me.") I'm not sure if it did a great job of either! In fact, knowing my luck there's a vital piece of canon I'm forgetting that makes this entire scenario crumble like a house of cards

But there it is anyway

Also, I'm not sure I wrote Equius as enough of a creep! I get the feeling that I am writing Equius-lite here

A parting thought: I finally wrote something that dealt with actual Homestuck characters and did not ship Karkat and Terezi with the force of an exploding neutron star. I am to be commended for my efforts.

This is entering my headcanon. I know Equius is supposed to come off as a creepy freak in canon, but... I dunno. He's the bestest of moirails with Nepeta, so he can't be that bad, right? He genuinely cares about her in a totally platonic way.

[Sporkaganza]

Hey look at me, I'm anonymousComrade and I write every dumb idea that pops into my head

There's no way this or something similar hasn't been written but I wrote it anyway, because I lack self-control

Also yes, this was the thing I mentioned a few posts ago:

The Palest of 'Rails

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-- arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling centaursTesticle [CT] --

AC: :33 < *the cat girl curls around the fierce musclebeast's f33t*
AC: :33 < *she rubs her ch33k against his ankle affectionately*
CT: D --> What
AC: :33 < *she opens her mouth to speak*
CT: D --> I am busy with my roboti%, Nepeta
CT: D --> Please make this quick
AC: :33 < *she wants to know if it's okay with him to go flarping tonight*
CT: D --> This depends on who will be participating
AC: :33 < *she says terezi, tavros, aradia and eridan will be there*
CT: D --> The tealb100d is a strange one but I doubt she w001d let you come to harm
CT: D --> I cannot totally approve of your acquaintanceship with the rustb100d but he presents no threat to your safety
CT: D --> Aradia... is a complicated subject, but I shall allow you to associate with her
CT: D --> It is the seadweller's presence I am not altogether comfortable with
CT: D --> This usually indicates the b100b100d will be participating in this diversion
AC: :33 < *ac pauses*
CT: D --> Nepeta
CT: D --> Is she part of tonight's campaign
AC: :33 < *she sh33pishly says maybe?*
CT: D --> Then abso100tely not
CT: D --> I have made my position e%eedingly clear on this matter
CT: D --> You are not to play this game with the b100b100d
AC: :33 < oh come on equius, pleeeeeeaaaaaase!
AC: :33 < *she says*
CT: D --> I shall not waver
CT: D --> You will not
AC: >:33 < why not?!
AC: >:33 < *she asks*
AC: >:33 < *angrily*
CT: D --> I have my reasons
CT: D --> I am doing this for your own good
AC: >:33 < you're just jealous because i have furriends and nobody wants to spend time with you because of your cr33py robots and how you drench everything in your stinky awful sweat!
AC: >:33 < *she makes up her mind to go anyway, regardless of what the meanest musclebeast EVER says!*
CT: D --> You will not
CT: D --> This is an order
AC: :33 < *ac sticks her tongue out at ct*
CT: D --> Nepeta
CT: D --> Cease this f001ishness at once
CT: D --> You will not play this "FLARP" tonight and that is final
CT: D --> Do you hear me

-- arsenicCatnip [AC] has blocked centaursTesticle [CT] --

CT: D --> Fiddlesticks

-- arsenicCatnip [AC] did not receive message! --

-- centaursTesticle [CT] ceased trolling arsenicCatnip [AC] --

-----

That could have gone better, he decided, as his fist smashed into another steel face.

Equius looked at the window facing Vriska's hive. He simply could not comprehend how Nepeta didn't understand why he forbade her from FLARP campaigns with Vriska. No, surely she knew, and in the end, she would obey Equius's orders to stay away from Vriska. Right? Of course she would, she couldn't disobey her moirail.

And yet, the thought lingered at the back of his mind. Nepeta had resisted Equius's orders before, but always complied in the end. But she had never shown this sort of open defiance toward him before. If she were harmed in any way...

He put the thought out of his mind as he tore another metallic fighter in half. Nepeta was headstrong, stubborn, impulsive, but not stupid. He had nothing to worry about, all would be fine in the end.

Right?

-----

"Fudgesicles!" A glass of lusus milk shattered in Equius's hand for the third time today. Darn it all, he'd almost managed to lift it to his mouth this time! If only there were an easier way of doing this, perhaps some kind of liquid delivery system involving a narrow hollow tube that would allow him to drink without even touching the glass via the process of suction. No, such an idea was poppycock, and he knew it.

He considered re-entering the ring to let off some steam briefly, before realizing all of his combat robots needed repairs. Instead, he fondly regarded his musclebeast art. Such grace, such majesty, such STRENGTH! The way they subjugated lower forms to their whims, the way they destroyed entire buildings with naught but their own anatomy! When there were no robots left to fight, art appreciation served well to calm Equius down.

His sight crossed a window facing Vriska's hive, and he noticed she was home. The FLARP campaign must have ended for tonight, and she was now leading the losers to their fates at the hands of her monstrous lusus. Moments like these made him glad he had Aurthour; he had no need for such extremes in his daily care, and the most Aurthour had ever demanded of Equius was to try keeping the noise down in the battle ring while he slept.

He watched as those defeated in tonight's game jumped to their deaths into the spider's web, and one of them near the back of the line caught his eye. It was difficult to tell from such a distance, but that particular troll's outfit looked somehow familiar. Green, and blue? From this distance he couldn't be sure but...

His eyes widened as he removed his shades to get a clearer view. He had expressly forbidden her from going tonight and she'd always listened to him, surely it couldn't be her. But in the pit of his stomach, he knew he was looking at Nepeta, about to throw herself into the jaws of the beast.

"AURTHOUR! Nepeta is in danger! Remain on your guard, I do not know how the b100b100d will react to my interference."

-----

Equius broke into a STRONG SPRINT before he even left his hive, breaking down his front door. He calculated the angles and heights he'd need to leap mid-stride, then a second later, made the first of many STRONG JUMPS crisscrossing the chasm to reach Vriska's hive.

Five STRONG JUMPS had propelled him most of the way to the grisly scene. Now he needed to climb the cliff face the rest of the way. He roared as he finally emerged and pulled himself over the edge.

"VRISKA!!!"

Equius's assumptions were correct. Nepeta stood before him, manipulated into motion by Vriska, green blood staining her black undershirt and splotched across her blue cat hood.

"You will release her immediately."
"Hahahahahahahaha! Or what, you muscle8ound moron? I'm culling these losers because they're WEAK! They're weak weaklings and they deserve what they're a8out to get!"
"You will release Nepeta this instant."
"...Okay." And with that, Vriska pushed Nepeta off the cliff.

Equius moved quicker than he'd ever moved in his life. He STRONG DOVE off the cliff and caught Nepeta's falling body in mid-air, then twisted to STRONG PUNCH the rock wall, burying his arm in it and stopping their descent, mere feet above the giant spider's reach. He carefully slung Nepeta over his shoulder and began climbing upward. He was going to give Vriska a piece of his mind.

"8ravo, musclehead!" Vriska taunted him as he finally reached the top. "Nice moves! Now, give me 8ack my prize."
"I will not." Equius laid Nepeta's still-unconscious form behind him, putting himself between her and the other blueblood.
"Ooooooooh! I didn't know you fancied yourself a hero! You're just as 8ad as Toraeasnore. 8ut you're a liiiiiiiittle too l8 to save them all."
Equius growled at her. "Stop this at once."
"Or... is it 8ecause it's her? Are you flushed for this little green8lood, Equius? How cute! The palest of 'rails are turning into 8urning crimson m8sprits! Should I get a pail and call the imperial drones now? Excuse me while I VOMIT."

Equius grit his teeth at the l00d accusation and grabbed her by the collar of her shirt. He removed his shades to be abso100tely sure she knew he meant business.

"You will not harm Nepeta. I will take her back to my hive and tend to her injuries, and you will leave us alone."
"Hahahahahahahaha! And if I don't? Why should I let you esc8pe with wh8t's rightfully mine?"
"If ANYTHING happens to Nepeta after we have absconded from this place..."

He brought his face within an inch of hers, teeth bared and eyes burning with a fury unlike any she had ever seen.

"...I will devote the entirety of my e%istence to making you BEG for death."

She bared her own fangs in response. "Fine, then. 8ut you OWE me."

Equius threw her to the ground with as little force as he could muster. Even holding back as much as he did, the impact still knocked the breath out of her. She would not be following them for some time.

"I trust this matter is resolved, Miss Serket."

He picked up Nepeta as carefully as he could, and STRONG FELL back to his own hive.

-----

"Aurthour! I have rescued Nepeta from her predicament. I require the first aid kit!"

His centaur lusus emerged almost immediately. Equius took the medical kit from him.

"Here, carry her to the roboti% lab, I know you will not a%identally harm her. I will prepare for dressing her wounds."

-----

Nepeta awoke some time later, unsure of her surroundings. She felt her side; the slash she had taken during a particularly nasty strife had been bandaged up, as had the blow to her forehead, the same one she suspected knocked her out. She couldn't remember much after that; just a vague feeling of being led somewhere, a sensation of falling and being caught, but by who?

The answer made itself known, behind her. "Good, you are awake."
"...equius? is that you?" She turned and saw it was, indeed, him. She blushed like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar. "i guess you know what i did tonight, then."
"Yes. Do you understand now why I do not want you around her?"
She was a bit confused. "not really. i mean i took a few hits but everything turned out okay, right?"
"Nepeta, Vriska nearly led you to your death. Had I not happened to look outside when I did, she would have fed you to her lusus. Luck and my own 100dicrous STRENGTH were the only things that ensured your survival tonight."

He turned away from her. "I implore you, associate with Miss Serket no longer! If something were to happen to you, I do not know how I could live with myself."

Poor guy, he was blaming himself for all this! Nepeta climbed off the table she was sprawled out on and hugged him from behind.

"*the kitty cat apologizes for not listening to her meowrail*"
"It is alright, Nepeta. You are safe now."
"you aren't mad at meow, then?"
"I am simply glad I was able to rescue you."
"*then the kitty ALSO apologizes for the mean things she said about him earlier!*"
"Do not worry, I was not offended. It is true, my robots are somewhat unsettling and I do perspire quite a lot."

She couldn't help but laugh at that.

Notes:

show spoiler

hide spoiler

All at once, this story tries to explain why Nepeta listens when Equius tells her not to do something, and then why Equius would build a robotic arm if this ever actually took place ("Fine, then. 8ut you OWE me.") I'm not sure if it did a great job of either! In fact, knowing my luck there's a vital piece of canon I'm forgetting that makes this entire scenario crumble like a house of cards

But there it is anyway

Also, I'm not sure I wrote Equius as enough of a creep! I get the feeling that I am writing Equius-lite here

A parting thought: I finally wrote something that dealt with actual Homestuck characters and did not ship Karkat and Terezi with the force of an exploding neutron star. I am to be commended for my efforts.

This is entering my headcanon. I know Equius is supposed to come off as a creepy freak in canon, but... I dunno. He's the bestest of moirails with Nepeta, so he can't be that bad, right? He genuinely cares about her in a totally platonic way.

Honestly, I don't think being a creepy freak and being a well-intentioned dude who genuinely cares about his moirail are mutually exclusive. I think he's both of those things.