MSPA Fanfiction VI: Trashy Rainbow Drinker Fanfiction

[Windwaker]

stitching up the circuitboards
she sits and she waits for her story to start.

You, you're

qagsdxfcg

dellaluce.

You're basically my idol. Everything you write is diamonds, especially the trippier stuff. Fuckin' poetry. ._.

[lantadyme]

Wily! Man, I ship it in that timeline and I keep wanting to write something with Rose and Davesprite being awkward, but wow. All the heartbreak and that was so very beautiful. I really like seeing it told from Rose's perspective, too, because not enough people write Rose, darn it, me included. She intimidates me but I love her so much. Awesome stuff.

[wilySubversionist]

...I keep wanting to write something with Rose and Davesprite being awkward...

Dude, great minds, because I am totally intending on going there. That whole situation is just rife with unexplored angles. I'd love to see what you'd do with it! And thank you so much, too kind!

Rose is definitely a tough nut to crack, I think, because she's such guarded character and is so fixated on layers of meaning. Of course, I'm a huge fan of SkaianRedeemer's AHiHH Rose. I was trying to express how she is always meta-thinking, accounting for her self-deception; I don't think I really got there, but I am just going to revise the hell out of this.

[Sporkaganza]

This is so unfair, all you people are discouraging me with your fantastic prose and wonderful moments! It makes my writing feel so clunky and horrid and my ideas feel so ridiculous :/

Please do not ever stop discouraging me, though, because it is beautiful discouragement that I love to death.

[billybobfred]

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And I now have a new wallpaper.

[MyCurrentObsession]

sarasvati, as many others have said, that Jade piece was just a piece of art. Freakin' beautiful. Touching and poignant, to the point where I even liked the Dave/Jade bits. I'm so jealous of your skill!

Bitter - 3

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You find that it's actually kind of tough living on your own. It's more a matter of having no one around to talk to in person when you'd adjusted to living with so many other people than struggling to survive (you aren't too proud to admit it, but you had to resort to petty thievery via telekinesis to acquire food and a computer, so you're good to go on that front).

At least back on Alternia, you had your lusus. It was totally incompetent, so you had to do everything yourself, but still. A sucky lusus is better than no lusus at all. It gave you something to vent some anger at if the need arose.

Karkat is worried about you. He questions your well-being constantly, and prods you to join Strider in his hive — though humans call them "houses" — regardless of how insufferable you find him to be, and just generally grates on your fraying nerves more and more with each passing conversation.

The final straw comes when he brings us Aradia. He tried to do so gently, but you can only be so gentle when typing in that DAUNTING CAPITALIZED GRAY TEXT.

And Aradia had been, and it seemed always would be, a sensitive subject to you, regardless.

Harsh words are exchanged, even by the usual standards of your shared conversations, and in the end it is Karkat (it's always KK, even when it shouldn't be, you think bitterly) who apologizes for blowing up at you, who asks if you're still friends just like he always does.

You reassure him that of course you're still friends, accept the apology he needn't have given without comment. And you know that this was your fault, that you had been the instigator of the fight and the one saying the words that stung much deeper.

You know that he'll never ask for apology, even when he should, and you hate yourself just a little for that.

You try and fail to justify your unreasonable irritation with your friend as him sticking his nose where it doesn't belong. After all, you're not his moirail — Kanaya is.

And no, you're not bitter about that, either.

----------

The first sign that the danger has passed, that you are finally safe, is Terezi. She finds you deep in the lab and mocks Karkat for being so scared, as she'd never run into any danger, herself, and she'd gone all over the place searching for him.

He of course gruffly tells her to shut up, and you can just imagine the look of relief on his face. But you can't see it.

You can, however, detect the slightest tremor in his voice, a sign of emotion. Huh. Funny how you'd always missed that when he'd been emotional before.

The next sign is Kanaya, glowing but alive, showing up, with a somewhat starstruck Vriska trailing after her.

This reunion is especially touching, especially poignant for Karkat, and, despite all the crap that's happened to you recently, you still manage to feel happy for him.

Kanaya calmly informs you of taking care of both Eridan and Gamzee, with Vriska tittering about "how cooooooool she waaaaaaaas" in the background.

For a while, there is celebration and rejoicing — everyone happy to have made it out alive. This is followed then by a period of silence — of mourning.

Finally, Karkat decides he should probably get in contact with John again, since the boy had been trying so frantically to reach him that he'd actually gotten complaints about it from past and future selves.

It takes a lot of explaining, and John kind of freaks out a few times, but finally the whole story is delivered, and he gives brief summaries to his friends, who promptly decide it's about damn time to join the two sessions before more trolls start dropping like flies.

It takes a lot of planning and quite a lot of collaboration between the two respective controllers of Space, but in the end the humans succeed, coming to join the trolls.

You... guess you're happy to finally meet them? You never really talked to them or made any ties with them, so you're more content back to sit back and watch — or rather, listen.

What really matters to you is who they brought with them.

The first thing you notice when Karkat speaks is the tone — surprised, disbelieving, maybe even hopeful. Only then do the words (or a name, as it is) register. "Aradia?"

And just like that, your throat goes dry and you find yourself turning your head this way and that, trying to see her. Then you remember that you're blind and feel like an idiot. D'oh.

But still the bubbling, hopeful anticipation far outweighs the onslaught of embarrassment.

And then you hear her voice, her tinkling laugh in response to something that insufferable prick has said, and for a moment you stop breathing.

Not robotic. Not monotonous.

Lively, outgoing, happy.

This is the girl you knew. The one from before. The one you spent a good sweep and a half completely, utterly flushed for.

The Aradia who is honestly, truly alive.

You break into a huge, toothless smile that probably makes you look absolutely stupid, and find that you couldn't care less.

A/N

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I'm probably gonna stick with this kind of format (start present day, go to a flashback) for the whole story, cause I'm liking the way its working out so far.

Anyways, I think my opening is weak (*self-abhor!*), I like the fight with Karkat, I hate the whole middle when the flashback begins, and I love the ending with Aradia coming in. In other notes, woo mood whiplash! I go from depressing present to happy past!

This chapter feels longer than the others, and I'm kinda iffy on it. I love some parts, I hate some parts (*self-abhor! x2 combo!*), yada yada. Hopefully you guys liked it more than me.

[SkaianRedeemer]

Argh I wish I could be writing fanfic right now.

[draconicAlgorithm]

@ catastrophicGenesis: Creepy Vriska is the best Vriska. xD

@ PingZing: Yes. Probably. Maybe. Who knows. I'm not definitive about anything because this story just sort of happens how it happens and I only have vague ideas. xD But thank you, I'm glad it didn't feel tacked on.

@ ProspitDreamer: I wasn't going to cut it so much as it wasn't going to exist in the first place. It was more along the lines of I had the realization that it would make a nice end to the chapter, so I wrote it. Admittedly, it was the most fun part of the chapter to write. I felt bad for Tavros, like I always do, but man, I love Vriska. Also, I read the two last chapters of What It Takes and jegus, I swear, every time I read more, I love you more. You also are not allowed to stop.

If I had time I would have read more stuff because everything is always amazing in this thread, but bluh bluh stupid internet. Anyway. I didn't have much to do today except play White and write fanfiction, and I did more writing fanfiction than anything else, I guess.

Thicker Than Blood 3

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"I could never let you leave. I need you, Felria. I need you to keep me sane.”

The movie played on, but Karkat was no longer paying any attention to it. Nor was Kanaya—she was slumped over on the opposite side of the dual-accommodation unit, asleep. He should have figured that a rainbow drinker would need to sleep during the night, as weird as it sounded.

Oh well. Karkat supposed it didn't matter. She needed her rest, if she was going to be leaving in the morning. Even though he didn't want her to.

God, why had he chosen a moirail romcom? What Terezi had told him earlier that night was still running through his head, and no matter how much he wanted to deny it, he just couldn't. He pitied Kanaya. Not full-blown matesprit pity—he had no desire to fill a bucket with her, oh God why did he even think that—but he knew it was deeper than just friendship. It had been even before she disappeared. He'd always been too afraid to say anything, though, since she had already had a moirail. Even if Kanaya had really felt more deeply about Vriska, it didn't change what they were. Karkat was complacent enough to wait until something happened.

And it did. She'd disappeared for two sweeps.

It had been agonizing at first. He'd waited, hoping against hope that she would get back online, but she never did. As time went on, that hope dwindled, and every time he glanced at his trollslum to see her name darkened, his despair deepened. And then, like one of the miracles Gamzee was always jawing about, she suddenly appeared. She had tried to drink his blood, but whatever. She was alive, and that was what mattered.

But as he watched the movie, and she fell asleep, he'd come to a realization. It would never work. He'd always assumed that if they'd ever struck up a moiraillegience, he would be the one protecting her, while she helped him keep his anger in check. It was the most obvious course of action. Kanaya wasn't dangerous. She didn't need someone to keep her from going on some sort of murderous rampage or anything.

Now, though... She was a rainbow drinker. She was stronger than him, faster than him. What good would he do as a protector? It was dumb to even contemplate it. Whatever chance they might have had in becoming moirails was dead.

Then why did he still feel this way? His pity didn't diminish in the least. But maybe it had changed? He pitied her condition, the fact that she had to kill to survive. Maybe killing wasn't exactly frowned upon in troll culture, but there were still those who didn't enjoy it. Karkat and Kanaya were among them. He knew how he would feel in a similar situation. He didn't want her to have to kill people.

And that was why his mind kept going back to his blood. She'd already proven she could drink from him without killing him. He might be the only troll she could do that with. And, at least, his blood could keep her satisfied for a few days. She'd said so herself.

Being a moirail was all about give and take. One protected, one placated. She could protect. He could placate. He didn't even think he needed protection, but who cared? He just wanted her to be happy. As happy as she could be as a rainbow drinker.

Then why was it so hard to just ask? To make the suggestion that she stay, that she drink his blood instead, that they become moirails?

Because he was afraid she'd say no. Afraid she'd reject him, be disgusted by the idea, never speak to him again. She'd freaked out so much when she realized it was him, and she'd asked about his blood—it was obvious. It was all too obvious. She thought his blood was disgusting, discolored, mutant.

This was why he'd been so careful never to reveal his true blood color. No one wanted to be friends with a mutant. Why would they? The mutant was just going to get culled. It was an inevitable part of life. Better to just separate yourself and pretend they didn't exist. That way, when they died, it wouldn't bother you. And, of course, there was the mindset that mutants dirtied blood purity. It was the basis behind the culling—if they were allowed to live, they would pollute the collective blood of the race. This was inexcusable.

So Karkat had been painstakingly careful. In more than seven sweeps, Kanaya was the first one to find out what his true blood color was. And now that she had, his worst fears were being realized.

She didn't pity him. She didn't hate him. She just wanted to humor him until she could leave, and then get as far away from him as possible.

It hurt. It was like someone had stuck a blade in his chest and twisted it. Even sweet Kanaya couldn't get over his mutant blood color. Why would anyone else? He was doomed to a life of solitude, cut short by an inevitable culling. No hate. No pity. Just loneliness and death.

He didn't realize that the movie was already over until the credits had stopped rolling. As he stood to put something else in (maybe a good kismesis flick, he was really tired of pity just then), he heard a low growl from the floor below. Someone was hungry. Kanaya woke with a start, looking around wildly.

"What was that noise? Are we being assaulted?" She asked, her voice still sounding groggy.

"No, just my fucking lusus. Ungrateful, grumpy asshole. I better go feed him." With a sigh, he walked to the door. "Just relax for a bit, go back to sleep if you want to. This won't take long." He exited the room, leaving Kanaya by herself.

With a yawn, she stretched and stood up. Falling asleep on a dual-accommodation unit was infinitely more comfortable than sleeping on the floor or ground, like she usually did, but it was no recuperacoon. She still felt much better for the nap, but she also felt bad about falling asleep during Karkat's movie. He'd sounded a little odd when he left, too, as though something was bothering him. Was it really just his lusus?

Maybe it was her. In fact, she was sure it was. He had been pleasant with her, and had even gotten angry when she had told him her past, but it didn't change the fact that she had entered his hive with the intent of killing him. She had not realized who he was at the time, but if it hadn't been for the fact that his blood was so different, she would have killed him regardless.

He probably thought she was a monster. She would have, in similar circumstances. He was probably eagerly awaiting morning, when she would finally leave. She should have assumed no one would want anything to do with her now.

Feeling overwhelmingly sad and alone, she sat back down on the soft cushions. Maybe she should just leave now. She could probably sneak into another hive before the moonlight killed her. At least she would be leaving Karkat alone. She very nearly did, until she heard an enraged roar from below, followed by what sounded like glass breaking and Karkat yelling, "CALM DOWN, FUCKASS, IT'S JUST A SCRATCH!" She sat stock still for a long moment, half expecting another roar, but instead all she heard was a low grumble. Karkat must have managed to placate the monster.

Now she was glad she didn't accidentally wake the creature when she had snuck into the hive. It was apparently very loud.

When she heard Karkat's footsteps clomping their way up the stairs, she realized she had lost her chance to escape before he came back. Oh well. It had been a stupid idea anyway.

"Ah, did you have an altercation with your guardian?" She asked as Karkat walked into the room. He shrugged.

"He's just kind of overprotective. Because of—well, never mind." Whatever he had been about to say, he apparently thought better of it. Because she was a rainbow drinker? Because she needed to leave? She bit her lip.

"Let's, uh... Let's watch another movie, I guess," he went on, and she just nodded. He picked another romcom, unsurprisingly, though this one was apparently about a pair who struck up a kismesistude and the antics that resulted. Under different circumstances, it might have been funny and enjoyable (some of the pranks they pulled on one another were quite hilarious, though she found one involving a bucket highly depraved, and it had likely knocked up the rating a few notches more than it would have otherwise been), but this time, she was acutely aware of the fact that Karkat seemed nervous about something. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw him constantly glancing first out the window and then at her before going back to the movie. He occasionally commented on something or laughed, prompting her to laugh as well, but he was mostly silent. She was almost glad when the movie finally ended and she saw that the sun was coming up. As the credits started rolling, she stood.

"I suppose I should be going," she said, feeling a little awkward. "I do not want to impose any longer, but I appreciate your generosity, Karkat."

"Don't mention it," he said, standing as well. "I mean, any time you're in the area and you need a place to crash, you're welcome to come here." Something about the he said it seemed hesitant, as though he didn't entirely mean it. Kanaya got the message. He'd rather she didn't come back, but he didn't want to seem rude.

I was such an idiot, she thought, thinking our friendship would still stand after so long. Outwardly, she nodded and smiled.

The two of them walked downstairs in silence, and Karkat led her back into the kitchen, where she found that his lusus was asleep once more. Karkat didn't even bother walking quietly—apparently, it was a heavy sleeper.

For a moment, they stood at the door in awkward silence.

"Goodbye, Karkat," Kanaya said finally, reaching for the handle to the door. As she did, though, he suddenly reached out and stopped her. She looked up at him, surprised.

"W-wait," he managed to say, though she could tell he was nervous. "Before... before you leave, I just... I want to ask you something." Her heart fell. This was it. He was going to ask her to never come back, to never contact him. It was written all over his face.

"I know that it's been two sweeps. I know that we're both different, and that our relationship is different, but I... God, Kanaya, this is so hard to say." He paused, leaving her curious. This didn't sound like a rejection. What was he talking about? "I guess, the truth is, I've pitied you for a really long time. As more than just a friend. But you were moirails with Vriska then, and it just didn't seem like the right time, but now, God, Kanaya, I just have this stupid idea and I can't fucking get it out my head and I just want to know if you would even be interested in being moirails." He looked up at her expectantly, but all she could do was stare at him in shock. This was not at all what she had been expecting him to ask.

For a long moment, she didn't say anything, and finally, Karkat sighed and ran a hand through his messy black hair and turned his gaze away from her.

"Look, sorry I even fucking asked. Just, just forget about it. I don't want to—"

"No, Karkat, I—" She stopped. He was looking back at her again. "Sorry, I just wasn't expecting that. I would—I would love to be moirails with you, Karkat, but I don't see how that could work." Her happiness at realizing that he didn't despise her was quickly fading at the realization that, as she was, having a relationship like that was impossible. "You could hardly protect me, and I have no choice but to kill to survive. There is no way it could work."

"What if you drank my blood?" She stared at him in shock. Surely she heard him wrong? There was no way he had just said what she thought he had said. No troll in their right mind would suggest such a thing. Right?

"I'm sorry, Karkat," she said slowly. "I could have sworn you just said—"

"That you could drink my blood? Yes." He paused for a moment, and then seemed to gain more courage. "You can drink from me without killing me. If you couldn't, I wouldn't still be alive right now. And you said you could last a few days on what little you do drink. Just have a sip every few days and you're fine, right? Then you wouldn't have to leave. You could just stay here, and—" She cut him off. Quicker than he could blink, she had crossed the short distance between them. One arm was behind his back, holding him immobile, while the other hand gripped his chin, roughly moving his head out of the way so that she had a better angle with which to bite. Her cheek brushed against his, her lips inches from his neck.

"Are you scared, Karkat?" She whispered.

"No," he said after a moment of hesitation, but the fear in his voice was audible. She sighed and released him, pulling away.

"You're a terrible liar," she said, frowning at him. He glared back.

"You just surprised me, is all," he snapped. She sighed again.

"I was attempting to show you what it would be like. Karkat, I am not a simple troll any longer. I am a predator that feeds upon your kind. You should be, and are, it seems, terrified of me, and yet you are suggesting that you offer yourself up to me as a source of food. Do you realize how ridiculous you sound?"

"Look, I know it's crazy, okay? But we could make it work. I'll get over my fear, I know I will." He stared at her unwaveringly. "When you're not gnawing on my neck, you aren't scary at all. You're just Kanaya. Nothing is ever going to change that. The neck gnawing is something I can get used to."

"You are quite adamant about this, aren't you?" She said, though her tone was beginning to sound amused.

"Yes. It could work. We could make it work. Unless..." He trailed off, suddenly looking unsure of himself again. "Is it... is it about my blood color?" She blinked. Was this why he had been so hesitant in the first place?

"No, Karkat, the color of your blood is not a problem. If anything, your blood's unique properties are the only things that make this scheme possible, if highly implausible. It does not disgust me, nor do I find it abhorrent. It is simply different."

"... Really?" He didn't sound sure of that at all. "I mean, I understand if you're just trying to make me feel better."

"Karkat, I would not lie about something like this. The color of your blood does not affect my opinion of you in the least, and to be honest, I do not think I would make a very good moirail if it did. If we are going to do this, we are not going to go about it half way. I will help you become more confident in yourself and in the fact that your blood color does not in the least affect who you are as a troll." His eyes widened slightly.

"Then, you mean—"

"Yes, Karkat. I would like to be your moirail as well." To her surprise, translucent red tears began to form in his eyes. He all but ran forward as he grabbed her in a huge hug.

"Kanaya, you're the best moirail a guy could ask for," he managed to say past happy sobs.

"I highly doubt that, but I will attempt to live up to your expectations nonetheless," Kanaya replied, patting his back a little awkwardly. Who could have known that Karkat, the self-proclaimed raging asshole, was so mushy?

Maybe all the romcoms should have been a clue.

At that very moment, in a cave somewhere far away, a young female troll was suddenly inclined to glance up from her tablet to look at her old shipping wall. She'd drawn it more than two sweeps ago and had included on it all of her online friends at the time. Unfortunately, a few of them had disappeared since then, and even more relationships had changed, and she had been forced to draw a new one to reflect upon these changes.

Even so, she felt her gaze drawn to a particular square on the old shipping wall, involving her personal love interest and one of her friends that had disappeared. They really would have made the best moirail couple, if only Kanaya was still around.

Poor, poor Karkitty.

Nepeta found out a few days later that Kanaya had not only reappeared but had also started a moiraillegience with Karkat. With glee, she added the troll to her new wall and circled her relationship with Karkat in red. She always loved it when one of her favorite ships worked out!

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And now that that is established, the next chapter will hopefully introduce the actual conflict. Hopefully because I never truly know where these chapters are going to go until I write them. Yay for not planning anything out! (I should probably try to do that...)

[Path]

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And I now have a new wallpaper.

It is hard to draw as badly as trolls do. I feel bad for my tablet. ENJOY YOUR WALLPAPER
>:]
> :]
>:]
> :]

[SkaianRedeemer]

@draconicAlgorithm: Nepeta is adjusting her wall in glee when she discovers her dead friend is not so dead. She's Rafiki. Except she can't go shouting "He's alive!" because Kanaya is undead and that's just silly, Skaian, what are you talking about.

[draconicAlgorithm]

Oh god why did I not think of that until you said it. Now I wish I had made her say "She's alive!"

[sarasvati]

wilySubversionist: COME AT ME BRO. i will have someone read your striderfic aloud. it will be the song that ends the earth in sorrow.

Windwaker: haha yes that's me i'm flattered, thank you so much!

MyCurrentObsession: thank you! oh lawd i'm blushing. (please don't be jealous! it is the worst thing to be jealous of me you have no idea)

[ceruleanTresses]

Crossposting this from the lyric rewrite thread.

I was browsing the fora last night when I suddenly had a horrible idea. So then this happened. Original song is here. In place of whistling, imagine chainsaws revving at the appropriate pitches.

Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life

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Cheer Up Eridan
You Know What They Say

When Love Affairs Go Bad, That Can Really Make You Mad
Its No Fun, To That I Can Attest
If Youre Feeling Pessimistic, Try Revving Up A Lipstick
And This Will Help Things Turn Out For The Best

And

Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life
Always Look On The Light Side Of Life

If Life Seems Less Than Thrilling, Theres Nothing Quite Like Killing
To Take Away The Urge To Mope And Sigh
Though You Took A Decent Shot, Theres One Thing You Forgot
Try Aiming At Trolls Who Deserve To Die

And Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life
Always Look On The Light Side Of Life

Our Lives Are Quite Absurd, And Moral Lines Are Blurred
If We Dont Cooperate We Wont Survive
So If A Troll Should Sin, Bare Your Fangs And Do Him In
If He Cant Play Nice He Cant Be Left Alive

And Always Look On The Bright Side of Death
Just Before You Draw Your Terminal Breath

I Cant Help But Note You Seem To Have Lost Hope
This Advice Wont Help You Now, Its True
Although Youve Duly Earned The Lesson Youre About To Learn
It Wont Matter Much Once Ive Bisected You

But

(The surviving trolls join in while Kanaya recites her spoken lines)

Always look on the bright side of life!
Always look on the light side of life! (repeated until the song ends)

(Come On Eridan, Cheer Up
Im Doing You A Favor You Know
I Mean What Have You Got To Lose
You Lived Lonely And Miserable
Youll Die Lonely And Miserable
What Have You Lost
Nothing
A Life For A Life, You Know What They Say?
All Right You Murderous Bastard
Come On Lets See Those Intestines
There They Are, See?
Thats The End Of That
Incidentally These Sunglasses Look Fantastic On Me
The Pattern Of The Cracks Is Aesthetically Pleasing
And Theyre Absolutely Perfect With Eridans Cape
The Neon Bloodstains Are Kind Of Tacky Though
I Knew This Would Happen
I Said To Myself, Kanaya, Dont Use Perfectly Good Fabric As A Bandage)

I was forced to put in some punctuation because otherwise it was pretty much unreadable.

[Zero]

Crossposting this from the lyric rewrite thread.

I was browsing the fora last night when I suddenly had a horrible idea. So then this happened. Original song is here. In place of whistling, imagine chainsaws revving at the appropriate pitches.

Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life

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hide spoiler

Cheer Up Eridan
You Know What They Say

When Love Affairs Go Bad, That Can Really Make You Mad
Its No Fun, To That I Can Attest
If Youre Feeling Pessimistic, Try Revving Up A Lipstick
And This Will Help Things Turn Out For The Best

And

Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life
Always Look On The Light Side Of Life

If Life Seems Less Than Thrilling, Theres Nothing Quite Like Killing
To Take Away The Urge To Mope And Sigh
Though You Took A Decent Shot, Theres One Thing You Forgot
Try Aiming At Trolls Who Deserve To Die

And Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life
Always Look On The Light Side Of Life

Our Lives Are Quite Absurd, And Moral Lines Are Blurred
If We Dont Cooperate We Wont Survive
So If A Troll Should Sin, Bare Your Fangs And Do Him In
If He Cant Play Nice He Cant Be Left Alive

And Always Look On The Bright Side of Death
Just Before You Draw Your Terminal Breath

I Cant Help But Note You Seem To Have Lost Hope
This Advice Wont Help You Now, Its True
Although Youve Duly Earned The Lesson Youre About To Learn
It Wont Matter Much Once Ive Bisected You

But

(The surviving trolls join in while Kanaya recites her spoken lines)

Always look on the bright side of life!
Always look on the light side of life! (repeated until the song ends)

(Come On Eridan, Cheer Up
Im Doing You A Favor You Know
I Mean What Have You Got To Lose
You Lived Lonely And Miserable
Youll Die Lonely And Miserable
What Have You Lost
Nothing
A Life For A Life, You Know What They Say?
All Right You Murderous Bastard
Come On Lets See Those Intestines
There They Are, See?
Thats The End Of That
Incidentally These Sunglasses Look Fantastic On Me
The Pattern Of The Cracks Is Aesthetically Pleasing
And Theyre Absolutely Perfect With Eridans Cape
The Neon Bloodstains Are Kind Of Tacky Though
I Knew This Would Happen
I Said To Myself, Kanaya, Dont Use Perfectly Good Fabric As A Bandage)

I was forced to put in some punctuation because otherwise it was pretty much unreadable.

Homestuck AND Monty Python?!!!
This is, this is...

Im going to need another towel.


(really enjoyed that one Tresses, you've rally improved since your first few!)

[SkaianRedeemer]

@wilySubversionist: I'm glad you like my Rose-voice, because I'm probably a bit too critical to appreciate it myself.

@ceruleanTresses: First the lumberjack Trolls in the March thread and now this! And I'm 0kay with that.

[ceruleanTresses]

Thanks, guys! I hope to keep improving, because song rewrites are so much fun. Also, lumberjack trolls?! Like, a rewrite of the Lumberjack Song? I'm definitely going to have to read that one!

[Sporkaganza]

Thanks, guys! I hope to keep improving, because song rewrites are so much fun. Also, lumberjack trolls?! Like, a rewrite of the Lumberjack Song? I'm definitely going to have to read that one!

No, it's fanart of lumberjack trolls. Featuring Sollux in high heels. It is just as awesome as it sounds.

[Path]

It's here.

[ceruleanTresses]

Oh my god that's so awesome.

[Ganato]

Sorry about not commenting on anything. Ever. But I never have anything constructive nor witty to say. So I think just staying quiet is better. And throwing out the "NEVER STOP!" now and then.

But anyway, I just completed Batman Arkham Asylum yesterday. And when I say completed I mean completing the story and solving the riddles of Riddler. I haven't done all the challenges yet. But I'll do that soon I guess.

I can rightfully tell you that game is awesome. And it is also to blame for this next series of fanfics I am going to make. I call it:

Asylum
Prologue

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Tok tok tok

The simple sound of claws against the floor. Slow. Random. But subtlety it starts to flow together. It becomes a beat, a melody. And the one who hits the floor begins to hum. And he begins to grin. It is an old war song. One his kind used to sing, to yell, as they charged towards the enemy, weapons raised towards the sky, channeling the powers of the gods. And they would not stop singing, as they broke open the heads of enemies and let their blood color the earth and their weapons. And they would not stop singing as they hunted down those that ran, cowardly trying to save their skin when they saw the power they were up against. And he begins to sing along, the words rolling effortlessly off his tongue, mixing with the beat.

The guards outside his door turn and look at each other.

“I swear to god, this guy just keeps getting worse and worse,” one of the guards says as he stands in front of the door and looks into the cell through the hole they use for surveillance and food delivery, not removing his sight from the shape slumped against the wall as he says: “One moment his just sitting there, laughing to himself, the next his quiet like the grave and now he’s bloody singing.”

The shape turns his head and looks at the guard, mouth once again twisting into a grin.

“Bloody is the right word, mother fucker,” he whispers, just loud enough for the guard to hear.

“You just shut up, or I’ll come in there and teach you a lesson!” the guard says, pointing a finger through the small hole.

The figure laughs loudly. “Come on then, motherfucker!” he yells at the guard, who unconsciously takes a step back as an immense feeling of hatred emits from the prisoner. “Try your luck,” the figure barely whispers once again, staring at the guard.

The guard decides to ignore it and returns to his position to the left of the door as the singing begins once again.

“I hate this guy,” he says trying to get his mind off the singing, cold sweat covering his forehead. “He’s a fucking psycho.”

The guard sighs. “But I guess that’s to be expected when you work in a goddamn asylum.”

“Yeah, well, who is he anyway?” the other guard asks, clearly nervous, even more than the one who was just threatened. The first guard raises his eyebrows, which is only barely noticeable behind the eye protectors that come with the guard helmet.

“You don’t know?” he says, clearly surprised and he can barely believe his eyes when the other guard shakes his head. “Jesus Christ, they’re sending newbies to guard somebody like this?” he asks himself before turning towards the other guard and pointing his gun at the name tag on the door.

“Kid, you’re guarding the most dangerous criminal this city has ever seen.”

The song intensifies and the small hairs on neck of the guards begin to rise. The voice seems otherworldly.

“You’re making sure this goddamn alien doesn’t bring utter and complete chaos to the world as we know it.”

The words of the song begin to change. From being some strange alien language it begins to become normal English. And both the guards find it horrifying.

“You’re making sure the Juggler doesn’t escape.”

“And doing a bad job, motherfuckers!”

Before any of the guards can react the door blows off its hinges and crushes the first guard between it and the wall. The other guard raises his gun, thought shutting off and his training taking over. But his instincts refuse to back down and fear is there. Evidently in his face and his hands that shake. His gun rattles as it shakes back and forth.

The troll steps out of his cell and grins at the guard, deep bags under his eyes and the grey skin in stark contrast to the white medical clothing he’s wearing.

“Wassup, motherfucker?”

The guard doesn’t even know he dies. In two steps, half a second, the troll delivers a blow to his head. A blow so powerful it almost rips his head off his body. The guard only managed to have two thoughts before the troll turned his head into mush. One being, “oh god” and two, “is that a juggling club?”

His body slumps to the floor against the wall and the troll laughs. Oh, how he had longed for this. For the day when his inventory modus would do its trick, dispensing the one item he needed. He laughs as he throws the club into the air and catches it again. And he begins to sing again as he walks down the hallway, sirens blaring. Even then he can easily hear as the guards hurry his way, but he doesn’t hurry himself for he knows they will come to him. They’re willing to line up, waiting for him to kill them.

I will paint with your blood, let it be a miracle

Even if you’re an empress, it won’t be an obstacle

And if you scream, I hope it will be audible

I welcome you, to the Dark Carnival

And he laughs to himself once more.
“Man that sounds dumb. Fucking translations, how do they work?”

He honks as he kills. One guard, two guards, three guards. He soon loses count and none of them can stop him. There’s red blood everywhere, dripping off his club and clothes. He looks at a guard he had only wounded, lying on the floor with twisted legs. The guard tries to retreat, tries to pull himself away, but the troll steps on his legs and the guard screams in pain.

“You ain’t thinking about leaving, are you, motherfucker?” the troll says, looming over the guard, who is whimpering, only a ‘boo’ away from begging for his life.

“You know what, motherfucker? I’m feeling generous today!”

The club is held against the guard’s helmet and pins it to the floor.

“You tell me where my good buddies are and I won’t break your neck,” he whispers, the threat slithering over his tongue, taking delight in how stiff the guard goes. And the guards tell him, of course. He had hope. Maybe, if he was just a little bit lucky.
And maybe if his attacker had been a simple troll he might have gotten off the hook. But the Juggler doesn’t care about either of those two. No. He cares only for violence and miracles and the miracle appears, when the helmet slowly cracks under the force of his club, the guard yelling at him, begging him to stop, tears streaming down his cheeks. And then there’s a crack and the guard is gone.

And the troll just grins. Time to show the people of this planet how his race got as powerful as it was.

Loud alarms, laughs and honks fill the hallways of asylum.

A/N

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So yeah. Everybody goes nuts in the asylum. I tried to change my normal writing style a little. Be more descriptive. And I hope I will actually finish this. I mean, I have even drawn what they might look like if they had access to their normal costumes.
What's that? Want a list? Well, here you go!
Aradia: Known as 'Sprite'
Tavros: Known as 'Wildlife'
Sollux: Known as 'Twin Worlds'
Karkat: Known as 'Frenzy'
Nepeta: Known as 'Feline'
Kanaya: Known as 'Night Fang'
Terezi: Known as 'Noose'
Vriska: Known as 'Lady Luck'
Equius: Known as 'Megaton'
Gamzee: Known as 'Juggler'
Eridan: Known as 'Dr. Despair'
Feferi: Known as 'Sea Horror'

I think I might change Nepeta's alias. I have already done so a couple of times, and just can't think of a good one.

Oh and the kids are obviously going to be the good guys. Though I haven't thought of their titles yet.

And then I'm off to Greece for the week, Hyes!

[wilySubversionist]

@CeruleanTresses: That was super adorable, loved it.
@SkaianRedeemer: Seriously AHiHH is really, really good, and I envy your ability to hold together so many different threads.

and
@Sarasvati: COME GET SOME!

[deathsbuddy]

short strider letter thing

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hey

i guess theres pretty much no way youre going to read this and i feel like kind of a dumbass for writing it in the first place but here goes. i miss you bro. like real bad i miss you more than i really even thought i could miss somebody especially you.

you were always such an asshole and hell you probably still are just running around corrupting little boys and daves like you always did. i bet youre just surrounded by different versions of me fucking fawning over you like youre justin bieber and i got the fiever but you dont even deserve it because you fucked me up. you fucked me up bad.

and yeah just about every fucking minute i catch myself saying something totally uncool and unironic and i just think of that goddamn asshole "you done fucked up" smile thats probably aimed at me right then and there from some faraway place wherever dead people and daves go. makes me want to just fucking frogmarch right into our apartment and ruin everything you ever owned and then take off my shades and never say anything ironic again just to spite you

you never approved of anything i did. hell you wouldnt even say that i could do better or anything like that youd just rant and rave for like a minute about what a worthless piece of shit i was and then made me prove you wrong. what kind of fucking way is that even to raise a kid? every time some shady government worker came in and demanded to know who you were and why you had the right to be my legal guardian i should have just told them to take me away because this guy is a monster who shouldnt ever raise a child.

you did some shitty things bro. but the worst thing you ever did was leave.

keep it real

ds

--

You watch the letter burn. Your friends can never see this.

[Graven_Image]

[Rio]

All of my sads. :c

[MyCurrentObsession]

Another day, another chapter of Bitter. That's really all there is to say on the matter of me posting this.

Bitter - 4

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It's been about a month, now, since the game has ended. A month of pain, hurt, and avoiding the computer on the off chance that Aradia might be on.

Of course, this also means that you've been idle for quite some time, and your fellow trolls aren't too happy with you.

You should probably check in with someone and oh god it's Feferi. See, the thing about her is that she has no idea what went on after... after Eridan killed her. That makes talking to her more than a little awkward, considering the relationship you two had had prior to her untimely death.

—cuttlefishCuller [CC] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]—
CC: 38o
CC: )(—EY!
TA: hey.
CC: W)(ere )(ave you been lately?
CC: I MISS—ED you!
TA: uh.
TA: yeah 2orry about that.
TA: ii haven't really wanted to talk to people recently.
CC: I )(ope that doesn't include M—E, mister grumpy gills.
TA: ...
CC: ...
CC: Sollux?
TA: yeah?
CC: Is everyt)(ing okay?
TA: what do you mean, ff?
CC: I just reelly feel like the tide's c)(anged, and you're drifting away from me.
CC: 38(
TA: really?
CC: R—E—ELLY!
TA: ...
TA: you may be riight.
TA: 2orry.
CC: 38o
CC: W)(AT!!!
CC: W)(Y IS T)(IS )(APP—ENING!
TA: ii'm really 2orry, ff.
TA: ii can't really explaiin what happened.
CC: ...
CC: Did somet)(ing happen in the game after I went belly-up?
TA: ye2, as a matter of fact.
TA: ii'm 2orry.
—twinArmageddons [TA] has ceased trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC]—
CC: ...
CC: Glub.
CC: 38(

Okay, so that...

Yeah, that could've gone better.

----------

You certainly never meant for it to happen, but you find that you quickly, easily, inexplicably slip into a matespritship with her.

That old intimacy returns so quickly that it feels as if it never left in the first place; the rekindled closeness is exhilarating.

It starts with the accidental brush of hands, continues with your embarrassed blush and her chiming laughter, culminates with her stealing a chaste kiss and flitting away, gone before your mind fully registers what just happened.

The new — or rather, old — Aradia is bold; stunningly so. It is her advances that take a sweeps old red flirtation and cause it to stumble blindly full-out into the flushed quadrant.

You are content to led her lead you in this endeavor; to just bask in her presence.

From this point until the end of the game, your world is utterly, blissfully perfect.

A/N

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Again, I go from one extreme to another. Basically breaking up with Feferi to hooking up with Aradia (...and technically, he did the latter first, so it's a good thing Feferi was dead at the time or he would've been cheating! Bad Sollux!). Other than that, not much to say for this chapter, besides I SUCK AT FISH PUNS.