MSPA Fanfiction VI: Trashy Rainbow Drinker Fanfiction

[SeptimusMagistos]

I should wait until I've written more of this or have more time to devote to writing it; I should wait until I'm sure I know where it's going; I should certainly wait until I'm finished with my other series.

But I feel bad about not contributing, so here's something.

A Sweep Without Vriska: Chapter 1

(Title not finalized)

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centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]

CT: He110
CA: aww no
CA: just leave me alone wwould you
CA: you said you wwouldnt hound me
CT: That’s TRUE
CT: Had y0u harmed Nepeta I w001d have ended y0u
CT: But I easi1y f0rgave y0u f0r what y0u did t0 me
CT: By freeing me fr0m the m0rtal c0i1 y0u have given me s0 many new 0pp0rtunities
CT: It w001d seem petty t0 stay angry
CA: somethin i nevver got though
CA: wwhy you
CA: wwhy you and not her
CA: wwhy do you get to be a ghost
CT: I t01d y0u bef0re: she has achieved the spe%ra1 state as we11
CT: If she has n0t c0ntacted y0u then perhaps she is n0t as c0gnizant 0f the advantages 0ffered by this form as I am
CT: 0r perhaps she y0u are simp1y n0t w0rth her time
CA: wwoww that wwas pretty passivve aggressive
CA: im thinkin you havvent forgivven me at all
CT: Yes, I have
CT: Y0u may n0t be1ieve me but I assure y0u there are many advantages t0 my new f0rm
CT: D0 y0u kn0w, when I was a1ive I was pretty much 0bsessed with b100d c010rs
CT: But just 100k at me n0w!
CT: I can be as high as I 1ike
CT: 0r I can take a trip t0 the l0w tiers
CT: This is s0 impr0per!
CT: But I n0 l0nger care
CT: I am bey0nd pr0priety
CT: Bey0nd the 1aws 0f the s0ciety
CT: Bey0nd nature
CT: Bey0nd death
CT: Bey0nd imagination!
CT: I am 0ff the charts!
CT: And I d0n’t mind te11ing y0u: it fee1s e%hi11irating
CA: okay
CA: gettin a little creepy noww
CT: Yes
CT: My ap010gies
CT: I did n0t c0ntact y0u t0 discuss the advantages 0f being a transbi010gica1 1ifef0rm
CT: Numer0us th0ugh they may be
CA: wwell if you didnt contact me to gloat
CA: and you didnt contact me to plot revvenge
CA: then wwhy the glub did you contact me
CT: Part1y t0 make sure there is n0 bad b100d between us
CT: We are ab0ut t0 p1unge int0 s0mething very c0mp1icated
CT: And it w001d n0t d0 t0 a110w 01d dea1ings t0 c0ntaminate the endeav0r
CT: Anym0re than they a1ready wi11, anyway
CA: oh gog do you mean this game
CT: I d0
CA: this is just another reason wwhy this is all a horrible idea
CA: but fine
CA: keep your psycho kittycat friend awway from me and i wwill keep awway from both of you
CA: is that okay
CT: I’m afraid it’s going t0 be m0re c0mp1e% than that
CA: look i cant do anythin about kan or ter
CA: if they go after you im not goin to get in the wway
CA: but i wwont help them either
CA: thats about all i can promise so take it or leavve it
CT: I wi11 take it f0r n0w
CT: It was 0bvious1y a mistake t0 c0ntact y0u s0 early
CT: I had just h0ped that perhaps we c001d av0id s0me 0f the f001ishness awaiting in 0ur respe%ive futures
CT: But n0w I see that this was a fruit1ess endeav0r
CT: C1ear1y we were a1ways meant t0 suffer thr0ugh s0me ridicu1e bef0re 0rder c001d be estab1ished
CT: I will return when y0u have the inf0rmati0n necessary t0 f0rm a c0nte%t in which this c0nversati0n wi11 make sense t0 y0u

centaursTesticle [CT] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]


CA: okay
CA: talk to you later i guess

Eridan: Remember.==>

Oh, you remember all right.

It was a dark and stormy night. That sounds clichéd, but that’s just how you rolled back then and still kind of do to be honest. You and Vriska had just captured another party and led were leading them across the plain to her hive. It was a good day.

And then HE appeared.

You didn’t really know him back then. Didn’t know what he was capable of. You thought he was just another white knight, which was fine by you - you could always use another body to add to the fallen. You motioned to Vriska to control his mind, not knowing that she couldn’t.

And then he punched her head off.

Just like that. No speech; no warning. One second he’s standing at the top of a low cliff, barely more than an uncomfortably huge silhouette and shiny glasses, and the next he’s next to Vriska’s decapitated corpse, drenched in her blood.

You didn’t really take it very well.

There wasn’t really much of him left by the time you finished discharging your harpoon. Some ash maybe. Without Vriska’s mind control the prisoners were running away. You just sort of let them go, because you were beginning to realize you didn’t really need them for anything anymore. One of them was watching you, though. So intensely. Like she hated you more than anything in the world.

To be honest, you just sort of absconded out of there. You didn’t really feel like dealing with anything just then. Or for a while, really.

It wasn't a good day anymore.

Eridan: contact moirail. ==>

Yeah. You. . . you guess that’s a better use of your time than reminiscing about these things.

caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC]

CA: hey fef
CA: HE called again
CC: O)( no!
CC: Did he t)(reaten you?
CA: nah
CA: nothin like that
CA: i swwear it wwould actually be easier if he just hated me
CA: or if i hated him
CA: but i really cant because i already killed him once
CA: its kind of pointless to hate someone after that you knoww wwhat i mean
CA: evven if they basically just keep on livin
CC: U)(-)(u)(.
CC: I guess if you could hate )(im it would at least solve your kismesis problem!
CA: they just dont last fef
CA: either they get scared and run awway
CA: or they try to take a reel shot at me and wwe all knoww howw that ends
CA: is it me
CA: am i doin somethin wwrong do you think
CC: Well I guess you CAN be a little intense!
CC: But I’m sure you will find someone w)(o can )(ate you t)(e way you deserve to be )(ated eventually!
CA: i dont knoww about that
CA: i really think vvris might a been the one
CA: and noww that shes gone i wwill nevver find anyone as good as her again
CC: Pis)(-pos)(!
CC: You )(ave to )(ave a little )(ope ---Eridan!
CA: yeah
CA: i guess
CA: wwhatevver
CC: No I mean it!
CC: You are always so gloomy like your best days are be)(ind you.
CC: But I )(appen to know t)(eres a big -----EXCITING destiny in store for you and for all of us!
CA: thats real nice fef
CA: and wwhen i hear you say it like that i wwant to believve it
CA: i just dont knoww if i can
CC: B----ELI------------EV----------------------E it -------Eridan!!! 38D
CC: We live in interesting times.
CA: about to get more interestin i think
CA: fef
CA: are you sure we gotta play this game
CA: really sure i mean
CA: because everythin i hear about it
CA: from you from kan evven from HIM
CA: sounds like bad news to me
CC: More sure t)(an I am about anyt)(ing else!!!
CC: Trust me Eridan.
CA: sure i trust you
CA: really just about the only thin I feel sure i can trust anymore
CA: not that im callin you a thin
CA: you know what im goin to stop before i make this conversation any more terrible than it already is
CC: Glub glub glub! 38D
CA: anywway thanks
CA: i mean that
CC: Sure t)(ing!
CC: T)(at is w)(at moirails are for!
CA: yeah sure
CA: moirails
CA: listen fef thanks again but i gotta go
CA: if wwe are really doin this then i got stuff to take care a

caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC]


Equius: contact moirail. ==>

Gladly.

centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]

CT: Hi, Nepeta
AC: :33 < *the kitty rolls over and rubs herself all over her moirails legs*
AC: :33 < hi equius!
CT: These r01ep1aying e%ercises are n0t as tires0me n0w as they 0nce were
CT: But they are tires0me n0nethe1ess
CT: Y0u wi11 st0p
AC: :33 < okay!
AC: :33 < but only for you!
CT: I appreciate y0u making this concessi0n f0r my sake
CT: Even if y0u are 0nly ceasing t0 d0 s0mething y0u sh001d n0t have been d0ing in the first p1ace
AC: :33 < :pp
CT: The si11y faces whi1e quasi-0ffensive wi11 be permitted
AC: :33 < h33h33h33!
AC: :33 < I love you equius!
CT: I return the sentiment
CT: You are a g00d m0irai1
CT: Trying at times, but very g00d
CT: Has Aurthour been taking g00d care 0f y0u?
AC: :33 < h33h33 yeah!
AC: :33 < but it can be very hard having two lusii instead of one
AC: :33 < i am getting nannied so hard over here!
CT: H0w hard w001d y0u say y0u are being nannied?
AC: :33 < um. . . pretty hard i guess?
AC: :33 < i wasnt really setting up a humorous metaphor
AC: :33 < sorry! :((
CT: N0 need t0 ap010gize
CT: It’s no more than I deserve f0r a110wing myse1f t0 be drawn int0 y0ur si11y games
AC: :33 < equius you are such a liar!
AC: :33 < i know very well you like games too so there! :pp
CT: Nepeta y0u are acting inappr0priate1y
CT: 0nce again, y0u wi11 st0p
AC: :33 < you are not the boss of me!
CT: Need I remind y0u what happened the last time y0u dis0beyed me
AC: :33 < that was a low blow :((
CT: Y0u are c0rrect
CT: I ap010gize
AC: :33 < apology accepted!
CT: But I wi11 require y0u t0 f0110w my directives t0 the 1etter fr0m n0w 0n
CT: We are ab0ut t0 enter a very critica1 jun%ure
CT: If I am t0 pr0per1y assure y0ur safety as we11 as the achievement 0f 0ur c0mm0n g0a1s I wi11 require my hive t0 be tai10red t0 my e%act specificati0ns when the time c0mes
CT: Can y0u d0 that f0r me?
AC: :33 < yes!
AC: :33 < equius i promise i will be the best server ever!
CT: Then I accept y0ur service
CT: Make sure everything is in 0rder, Nepeta
CT: We have much t0 d0

centaursTesticle [CT] ceased trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]

Kick off the plot==>

Hi there young one I wonder if I could monopolize a few minutes of your time because I certainly have quite a lot to tell you and it would be quite convenient if you were not overly distracted during our conversation
AT: yES, i SUPPOSE SO,
That’s wonderful now I wonder if you like to play games little page? Of course you do I know that already and I happen to know you are about to play a very complex games indeed but what I wonder now is whether you would like to play a game or if you would prefer to play a game within a game within a game if you get my meaning
AT: eXCUSE ME,
AT: bUT WHAT,
Don’t worry about it it’s all right if you don’t understand just exactly what I mean right now you will in due time and that’s all that’s really important! You will become much wiser after being guided by your friends and you will guide them too of course but whether you ultimately achieve the level of wisdom necessary to transcend what you are is up to each and every one of you individually and all of you as a circle and do you feel like a proper circle?
AT: i AM BASICALLY NOT GETTING ANY OF THIS,
AT: i WONDER IF YOU COULD EXPLAIN IT A LITTLE BIT BETTER,
AT: iF THAT’S NOT TOO HARD,
Oh no no no in time you will see that my giving you information would just make things worse! After all how can you trust that I have your best interests at heart? I can say so but you have no real reason to believe me since after all I am representing one of the sides and oh yeah there are sides all right that’s a free one but I am sure you would have figured it out without my intervention quickly enough
AT: tHIS CONVERSATION IS REALLY, rEALLY CONFUSING
Heeheehee that’s all right I will leave you alone in just a moment there’s just one thing first though I want to give you a clue right now and should you happen to later put that clue together with those given to your friends why you might just come to an important realization!
AT: oKAY,
AT: i AM LISTENING,
Then here it is page: the pieces of a game have no choice over whether or not they are manipulated but their very nature means that they can only be used in certain ways and at certain times so think about your own nature!
AT: tHIS IS STILL NOT MAKING SENSE TO ME,
AT: dO YOU THINK I WOULD UNDERSTAND THIS BETTER IF I WERE ASLEEP,
AT: iS THAT WHY YOU ARE TELLING ME THIS,
AT: hELLO,
AT: aRE YOU STILL THERE,
AT: uM,
AT: i WILL GO NOW, oKAY,
AT: oKAY,

Tavros: do a jig ==>

Haha, yes! You do a quick dance routine. It’s just something you’ve been working on with your perfectly functional legs.

God you love your legs. And being able to walk.

Sollux: prepare to distribute the game ==>

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling apocalypseArisen [AA]

TA: 2o thii2 game ii2 fiinally ready
TA: whiich ii2 niice 2iince everybody ha2 ba2iically been on my bulge about iit for month2.
TA: only problem ii2 ii have two fiigure out how two run thii2.
TA: ii had thii2 iidea where we would 2pliit iintwo two team2 2o well have a better chance at wiinniing .
TA: what do you thiink?
AA: well i think thats a terrible idea!
AA: its divisive and d0esnt actually help us any
AA: if anything its g0ing t0 make things w0rse by riling every0ne up
TA: you don’t thiink that we can briing out the competiitiivene22 iin everyone?
AA: well yeah!
AA: if by competitiveness y0u mean get every0ne killed!
AA: i think we sh0uld all be 0ne big happy team.
TA: all 11 of u2 you mean?
AA: there are 12 0f us sweetie
TA: 2ee, no.
TA: ii dont tru2t that 2weaty a22hole.
TA: he keep2 2ayiing vrii2ka ii2 ju2t a2 aliive a2 he i2, but we have ba2iically 2een zero eviidence of that.
TA: ii mean ii beliieve iin hiim.
TA: he'2 real.
TA: he talk2 two u2 and doe2 2tuff and even 2end2 package2.
TA: and ii thiink he probably ha2 a new body.
TA: he keep2 braggiing about how he can change hii2 blood two whatever he want2.
TA: but nobody2 heard from vrii2ka 2iince the iinciident.
TA: face it AA 2he'2 dead and 2he2 not comiing back.
AA: i d0nt kn0w if thats true
AA: but i have a str0ng feeling we havent seen the last 0f her yet
TA: hey ii am 2uppo2ed two be the prophet around here.
TA: you ju2t 2ort of float thiing2 wiith your miind, whiich would be a much lamer power except that you get iit wiithout the2e con2tant headache2.
TA: how do you 2tand the voiice2 iin your head, aradiia?
TA: becau2e miine won’t 2hut up.
AA: shrug i just d0 it
AA: y0u have t0 learn t0 ign0re them thats all
TA: that’2 not a2 ea2y a2 you make iit 2ound.
TA: but okay iill try.
TA: meanwhiile ii 2hould really get thii2 game goiing.
TA: iif ii delay iit anymore the freaky gho2t wiill come and yell at me.
AA: i really d0nt think hes that bad a guy deep d0wn
AA: creepy yes but n0t actually bad
TA: okay, that2 probably true but ii dont really care.
TA: cut me a liitle 2lack here, would you?
TA: ii am cut off from hatiing tradiitiional cla22 enemiie2 becau2e half my friend2 are from higher ca2te2
TA: and ii can’t hate people for beiing jerk2 becau2e more than half my friend2 are jerk2.
TA: iif ii don’t hate people for arbiitrary rea2on2 liike beiing creepy then the hate wiill ba2iically buiild up iin2iide me untiil ii explode.
TA: do you want me two explode, AA?
AA: well if you put it like that. . .
AA: all right y0u can c0ntinue t0 arbitrarily insult equius
AA: but y0u sh0uld kn0w he will pr0bably c0ntinue t0 arbitrarily insult y0u in return
TA: of cour2e he ii2!
TA: that2 the whole poiint.
TA: where the hell would the fun be iif he ju2t 2at there and took the abu2e wiithout doiing anythiing?
AA: d0 i detect a black sentiment there s0llux
TA: what?
TA: oh hell no!
TA: iit’2 not liike that
AA: sure its n0t
TA: lii2ten every liitle expre22iion of moderate dii2liike doe2 not tran2late two a blackrom cru2h.
TA: otherwi2e we couldnt 2tep two 2tep2 wiithout triippiing over a bucket.
TA: and iif you beliieve otherwii2e then you have been hangiing out wiith nepeta two much.
AA: i bet y0u tw0 w0uld l00k s000 cute t0gether!
TA: you dont even know what he look2 liike!
AA: i kn0w what he l00ked like bef0re
AA: i d0ubt hed want t0 change his appearance t00 much
TA: okay 2o ii thiink iim goiing two 2teer the conver2atiion away from thii2 zone
TA: whiich ii2 henceforth called the ‘two much iinformatiion’ zone.
TA: iin2tead we 2hould talk about the game 2ome more
TA: iif were not doiing team2 then ii gue22 ii can ju2t get you iin.
TA: ii2 that okay?
AA: im 0kay with it yes
TA: riight.
TA: no ru2h though.
TA: let me ju2t talk two 2ome more people fir2t.
AA: 0kay!
AA: see y0u s00n!
TA: yeah.

twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling apocalypseArisen [AA]

Vriska: demonstrate your existence. ==>

Not yet. But any hypothetical observer can rest assured you're still here. Really, how stupid would you have to be to believe anything else?

Terezi: be in cahoots, I mean C4HOOTS with someone. ==>

gallowsCalibrator [GC]began trolling grimAuxilarix [GA]

GC: TH3 HOUR 1S N1GH K4N4Y4!
GC: JUST1C3 W1LL B3 DON3!
GA: I Am Still Not Sure How Comfortable I Am With Your Plans
GA: Would Vriska Want Us To Seek Vengeance On Her Behalf
GC: Y3S!!!!!!!!
GC: VR1SK4 WOULD B3 4LL 4BOUT TH4T!
GA: I Suppose You Are Correct
GA: Sometimes I Like To Indulge Myself By Imagining An Idealized Version Of Her
GA: But Alas Harsh Realities Intrude
GC: VR1SK4 W4S N3V3R 4 S41NT
GC: BUT SH3 D1DNT D3SERV3 TO D13 31TH3R!
GC: 4ND TOD4Y 1S TH3 D4Y W3 W1LL BR1NG THOS3 R3SPONS1BL3 TO JUST1C3
GA: You Dont Think That Possibly Justice Has Already Been Done
GA: Eridan Claimed He Was Fairly Thorough In Administering Retaliation Of His Own
GC: JUST B3C4US3 D34TH CHOS3 NOT TO DO 1TS JOB DO3SNT M34N 1 WONT DO M1N3!
GC: 1 W1LL PUT H1M DOWN 4S M4NY T1M3S 4S 1S N3C3SS4RY TO F1N1SH TH3 JOB ONC3 4ND FOR 4LL
GA: Still
GA: Its Possible We Dont Know All The Details
GA: Perhaps We Are Being Too Hasty Here
GC: YOU K33P F1ND1NG 3XCUS3S NOT TO GO THROUGH W1TH OUR PL4N TOD4Y K4N4Y4
GC: T3LL M3 COULD 1T POSS1BLY B3 TH4T YOU 4R3 G3TT1NG COLD F33T?
GC: 1S YOUR LOV3LY 3M3R4LD BLOOD TURN1NG 1CY WH1T3 W1TH F34R? >:[
GA: No
GC: WH4T W4S TH4T?
GA: No
GC: W3LL OF COURS3 NOT!
GC: 1TS NOT F34R 4T 4LL 1S 1T
GC: 1TS JUST YOUR USU4L MOP3Y QU4S1-P4C1F1SM
GC: R3L4X YOU DONT H4V3 TO G3T YOUR H4NDS D1RTY
GC: 1 W1LL DO TH3 R34LLY H4RD P4RT
GA: I Know
GA: It Is Not Easy Even So
GC: H3H3H3
GC: 1 C4N SM3LL YOUR UN34S3 K4N4Y4
GC: 1 C4N T4ST3 1T 4LL OV3R YOUR LOV3LY L1TTL3 L3TT3RS
GC: 1T T4ST3S 4 L1TTL3 B1T L1K3 CHOCOL4T3
GC: 1T 1S B1Z4RR3!
GA: Um
GA: Yes
GA: I Suppose
GC: 1 R34LLY F33L SORRY FOR YOU
GC: YOU W1LL N3V3R G3T TO 3XP3R13NC3 TH3 WORLD L1K3 1 DO
GC: W1TH 4LL TH3 T4ST3S 4ND SM3LLS 4ND OTH3R S3NS4T1ONS M1X3D TOG3T3R 4T ONC3!
GC: 4ND Y3T NON3 OF 1T 1S 4S SW33T 4S TH3 T4ST3 OF JUST1C3! >:]
GC: TO T34M V3NG34NC3!
GA: Yes
GA: To Team Vengeance
GC: K4N4Y4. . .
GA: Oh
GA: Yes
GA: To Team Vengeance
GA: !
GC: GOOD G1RL

gallowsCalibrator [GC]ceased trolling grimAuxilarix [GA]

Kanaya: Feel extremely uneasy about this whole thing ==>

Well, yes. You're not sure how to feel about everything. You started this little collaboration with Terezi when your grief was fresh and your judgment was clouded. As you slowly regained your composure, you saw that things may not be as simple as you originally believed. Over the course of a sweep, some of your anger has faded, replaced mostly with apprehension.

Terezi, on the other hand, remains as tightly focused as ever. She pursues the perceived offenders like a bloodhound. Worse than that, since bloodhounds are at least somewhat limited in their sense of smell but Terezi can pretty much smell anything. You aren't about to get in her way, but you don't really want to help her anymore either. What will you do?

No, seriously. That's a real question. You are legitimately confused about possible courses of action.

Kanaya: Contact someone ==>

You suppose that's one way to go. But who?

Contact Equius ==>

No. You may not be totally committed to the present course of action, but you are hardly prepared to completely switch loyalties.

Contact Terezi ==>

There is nothing you can say that will change your mind. If you try then at best she will simply cut you out of the plan entirely, removing your ability to affect it. At worst she might include you at the other end of the plan. You don't think she would, but interfering with a would-be legislacerator on the prowl has its dangers.

Contact Karkat? ==>

You suppose? You don't really see how it could make things worse.

grimAuxilarix [GA]began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

GA: Hello Karkat
GA: I Wonder If We Could Forego The Usual Fair Of Quasi Sincere Scorn Today
GA: I Need Your Assistance On A Geniunely Distressing Problem
CG: IS THIS GOING TO BE COMPLETELY FUCKING STUPID?
CG: DON'T ANSWER THAT. THE ANSWER IS YES.
CG: THE ANSWER IS ALWAYS YES.
CG: BUT I'M WILLING TO PUT A PAUSE ON YOUR RIGHTFULLY DERSERVED VERBAL LAMBASTING LONG ENOUGH FOR YOU TO TRY TO CONVINCE ME YOU'RE NOT JUST WASTING MY TIME.
CG: TALK FAST MARYAM.
GA: Very Well I Will Keep This Brief
GA: Terezi Seeks To Avenge Vriska By Attacking Equius Within The Game
GA: I Dont Think Thats A Good Idea
GA: Help
GA: ?
CG: OKAY, WOW.
CG: WHY DON'T YOU JUST ASK ME TO MOVE ONE OF THE FUCKING MOONS WHILE I'M AT IT?
CG: ARE YOU ACTUALLY SUGGESTING THAT I SOMEHOW HEAD OFF A CLASH BETWEEN A BLOOD-CRAZED MANIAC GIRL AND AN UNDEAD ABOMINATION WHO SOLVES HIS PROBLEMS BY PUNCHING?
GA: I Had Hoped You Might Wield Enough Influence Over Terezi To Dissuade Her
GA: Or At Least Get Her To Wait A Little Bit
GA: Or
GA: I Admit I Dont Really Know
GA: Which Is Why I Contacted You In The First Place
CG: LOOK, I'LL TALK TO TEREZI, BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO WORK FUCKING MIRACLES.
CG: SO SHE PROBABLY WON'T LISTEN TO ME AND WILL JUST GIGGLE AT ME BEFORE DOING WHATEVER SHE WANTS ANYWAY.
CG: I'M SORRY BUT THAT'S THE WAY IT IS.
GA: Yes I Understand That
GA: Thank You For Trying In Any Case
CG: HEY, IF SHE GETS KILLED THERE IS A REASONABLY GOOD CHANCE THAT SHE'LL JOIN THE GHOST PROCESSION.
CG: AND THEN SHE WILL BECOME SO ANNOYING I WILL DO A FUCKING PIRHOUETTE OFF A CLIFF.
CG: AND THEN PROBABLY END UP AS A GHOST TOO AND HAVE TO PUT UP WITH HER SPECTRAL GIGGLING FOR ALL OF ETERNITY.
CG: I DON'T THINK I COULD DEAL WITH THAT.
GA: Your Attempts To Disguise Your Obvious Affection For Her By Hiding It Behind A Thin Facade Of Not Caring Are Strangely Adorable
GA: You Are Like Tavross Lusus When He Gets Into Tinsel
CG: YEAH, SO I'M THINKING THIS IS GOODBYE.

grimAuxilarix [GA]ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

Kanaya: feel a little better ==>

You do. You don't really think you solved anything, but you're moving in the right direction. You begin to wonder what else could be done.

Eridan: take care a somethin ==>

caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling terminallyCapricious [TC]

CA: hey
CA: hey
CA: hey listen
TC: ugh.
TC: STEP OFF MOTHERFUCKER.
CA: no you step off
CA: listen i knoww wwevve been up to a lot in the past
CA: me tryin to brin dowwn the surface dwwellers and you basically tryin to kill evverybody
TC: oh my motherfucking messiahs, are you hitting on me?
CA: not on your life
CA: wwevve basically kept up kind of a truce right
CA: i dont try to kill you specifically and you stay the hell awway from the ocean
CA: that wway our mutually exclusivve genocide doesnt havve to turn into anythin wweird and especially not anythin black
CA: and the thin is i need to extend that to somethin more formal
TC: NO MOTHERFUCKING PROMISES.
TC: first alone first killed.
TC: THAT'S THE MOTHERFUCKING POLICY.
CA: okay look you wwouldnt kill tavv right
CA: not noww
CA: i mean in that first month or so yeah you wwould finish off pretty much anyone
CA: but i think youvve basically mellowwed out a wwhole lot lately
TC: who i do or do not subjugglate is none of your motherfucking business.
CA: come on wwe both knoww howw it is
CA: genocide is one thin but you dont kill friends
TC: TOO BAD YOU AIN’T THAT, MOTHERFUCKER.
CA: no but im not leavin this convversation until i get you to promise to leave me alone
CA: and more importantly to leave fef alone
TC: well look at you playing the motherfucking moirail.
TC: THAT’S SO CUTE I JUST WANT TO CUT YOU OPEN.
CA: im serious
CA: anyway wwere about to go somewwhere wwhere therell be pretty much no one to murder
CA: because everyone around wwill be familiar and also armed to the teeth
CA: so if i wwere you i wwould just get the murder out of my system as much as i could
CA: and then just go cold turkey
CA: thats wwhatll end up happenin anywway and is it really wworth that extra feww minutes of murder to havve no one to talk to evver again
TC: maybe it’s not.
TC: MAYBE IT IS.
TC: gotta take a motherfucking vote up in here.
TC: PRETTY SURE SLITTING YOUR THROAT WOULD BE WORTH IT THOUGH.
TC: and they just dont make royal colors of paint so the little princess might have to go too.
CA: okay so persuasion isnt wworking big surpise there
CA: lets see wwhat else do you subjugglators like
CA: okay howw about a joke
CA: if it makes you laugh you dont touch me or FF ever again
CA: and i mean the broad meanin of touch here dont try to screww me wwith the exact wwords nonsense
TC: A JOKE FROM YOU?
TC: this i gotta sea.
TC: IN CASE YOU DIDN’T NOTICE I JUST MADE A MOTHERFUCKING FISH PUN.
TC: so if that’s all the game you brought you might as well give up right now.
CA: okay stop me if youvve heard this one
CA: wwhats black and purple and livves in a hole
TC: I DON’T KNOW.
TC: what is black and purple and lives in a hole?
CA: you

caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling terminallyCapricious [TC]

Eridan: Do something awesome==>

You fire your legendary weapon. You don’t stop until the residence is reduced to a crater. You like to think you’re sending a pretty strong message that something of this nature, except better aimed, will happen if he ever touches someone you care about.

You don’t know where this idea came from but you love it so much.

Gamzee: Survive==>

terminallyCapricious [TC] began trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]

TC: HA!
TC: good one, motherfucker.
TC: YOU’RE OFF THE MOTHERFUCKING HOOK.
CA: glubbin right i am

terminallyCapricious [TC] ceased trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]

[sebastian]

I should wait until I've written more of this or have more time to devote to writing it; I should wait until I'm sure I know where it's going; I should certainly wait until I'm finished with my other series.

But I feel bad about not contributing, so here's something.

A Sweep Without Vriska: Chapter 1

(Title not finalized)

Nice, but ... it is just my impression or that doesn't sound like Doc Scratch.

[Red Pen]

A Sweep Without Vriska: Chapter 1

This was fantastic, write more! Also that Scratch reminds me a whole lot of Jaspers.
Hmmmm...

[SeptimusMagistos]

I should wait until I've written more of this or have more time to devote to writing it; I should wait until I'm sure I know where it's going; I should certainly wait until I'm finished with my other series.

But I feel bad about not contributing, so here's something.

A Sweep Without Vriska: Chapter 1

(Title not finalized)

Nice, but ... it is just my impression or that doesn't sound like Doc Scratch.

It's not. The interesting thing about attempting to mix alternate history and Paradox Space is that it becomes sort of complicated.

[lucidSeraph]

hey guys hey guys

remember when i used to write this au fic called violetesence and i had this chaptered thing going called revolutions of ruin

huh

me neither


v i o l e t e s e n c e - Revolutions of Ruin

Chapter 2 - Soaking Through

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Soaking Through on Archive Of Our Own

a/n

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Wow hey guess who actually started reading Only Revolutions? I'm... not sure I want to keep with the color tricks through the next chapter as it's a pain in the ass. I like how it looks, but holy fuck the amount of time it takes to code that arrgh.

Also I now have an IC Chumhandle for David, under the name tortileGhostwriter, so idk if I'm on pester me (though both David and I can be standoffish at times, so you've been warned?

[PingZing]

Comments!

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Page 42:
Katrika - Oh. Oh my. My breath hitched a bit at the end there.

Page 43:
nikeathena - Bro forcing Dave to talk to Cal as a confessional in "time-out" is more than just a little hilarious.

wilySubversionist - Dense indeed--I thought the PoV was Bro's for a while. Stil, lovely imagery, I liked it a lot.

Page 44:
FieryBlacksmith - D'awwww. John trying to charades-understand Rose was all kinds of adorable there.

draconicAlgorithm - So now we've got a Vampros and...an insane killer clownpire. And vampire Vriska. And normal Karkat. He's screwed.

Page 45:
Seraph - Horrorterror-possessed Feferi is a brilliant and terrifying idea. I am intrigued and wish to see more.

Responses to comments since last I...responded to comments!

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Comments:@PingZing-

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Squeeee!!! Best chapter yet, best best best! All of it was awesome! I could just hear the inspiration oozing out of the pages. Fight scene= amazing (that and with aC's fic, I guess it's just Karkat's ancestor gets beat up day) Also:

She’d probably never curled up to sleep at dawn next to her lusus, whispered entreaties to please get better please don’t die I don’t hate you I promise flowing ceaselessly while her lusus tried in vain to comfort her with bloodied claws.

You made me choke on a lump in my throat with that one. What an awesome detail.

Thank you! I'm glad that line achieved its purpose, it was absolutely a shameless tearjerker. (also, every day is beat up karkat's ancestor day)

@PingZing: That was a great chapter. I think Stratet is hilarious. "What did Tarfus do wrong? Nothing! He just sucks."

And I'm hoping there will be a cutthroat fic battle between the two of you but that's probably not in the spirit of the thread so I should probably avoid encouraging something like that so please continue writing excellent Karkat ancestor fics at your own pace to your own tastes.

Fight fight fight fight fight fight.

Yeah, Stratet is sort of like the typical drill sergeant, except she knows all about the stereotypes and doesn't have the patience to go through the motions.

And of course gentlemen of our caliber would never resort to such base activities as cutthroat writing duels, perish the thought

it's oooooooon

And in case anybody is terribly curious, Chapter 9 chugging along. It's either going to be much longer than usual, or I'm going to have to split it in half like I did the last two. Still not sure which route I'll be taking, but we'll see!

[ProspitDreamer]

Quick fic featuring the dangers of photography and the Striders. Another slice-of-life fic.

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I love this. This was excellent and great. Especially the way you describe Bro's conflicting emotions, and the way this goes completely over little Dave's head. I love this.

@anonymousComrade

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More like Wall of Exposition readers loving this: The Fanfiction

I don't like this part nearly as much as the last two, for some extremely weird reason it just seems like filler compared to the setup of the prologue and the action in the previous chapter. There was tons of awesome action in here. I hope by "filler" you mean "filled with amazing." But I guess I've gotta build up to the original one-shot somehow. I don't know, it just feels like I'm doing a lot of telling and not a lot of showing here. Shit gets better eventually, I promise.Well I thought it was awesome.

So is it completely obvious who Alcaeus and Avir are, or what? Alcaeus yes, Avir, no. I didn't realize she was an ancestor until you told me just now. :P

@dragonicAlgorithm- Warm morail romance. Kanaya trying to pretend she's Karkat and failing. Karkat/Sollux hatefriendship. Vriska turning everyone into RainbowDrinkers. This story has everything I crave...and more! Do not stop this, or else!

[Jim Groovester]

The Sapphire of Alternia, Part 22

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Problem Sleuth slowly starts to calm down. His hands are jittering slightly and his nerves are frayed and only now, after he’s safe from the Felt and the Midnight Crew and the threat of kidnapping and torture can he let himself relax. He hasn’t been in combat that intense since he was a soldier. Sure, he’d been in more than a few scrapes now and then, but never anything where he had to put everything on the line just for a slim chance of making it out a live. Hell, just calling it combat unsettles Sleuth. He doesn’t want to think in those terms anymore.

Pickle Inspector’s relating his time travel experiences to Ace Dick. Something about how he jumped at least twenty times with Sawbuck and ended up in Alternian prehistory to its medieval era to its modern times and then even into the future. The most exciting part was when he popped into some kind of palace and had to apologize profusely to a giant with spiral horns and face paint for interrupting his sentencing of a dangerous pirate and criminal with eight pupils as her captor gazed on through red glasses.

“He found that very amusing, though I did not understand why.” Pickle Inspector says, the comment sticking out to Sleuth for no reason he can discern. “I then complimented his mural and shot Sawbuck again.”

“You’re just talking about those kids, aren’t you?” Ace Dick accuses. “Because that sounds exactly like those kids.”

“I assure you I am not!” Inspector says. “Though I did meet a young girl who was excavating the palace at some point in its future. She was wearing your hat, Sleuth.”

“Huh?” Sleuth asks. He hadn’t really been paying attention to the conversation. “How could anybody wear my hat? Especially in the past. That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Anyone you recognized?” Dick asks Inspector.

“She resembled the robotic one but they obviously could not have been the same person.”

The combination of Pickle Inspector’s story and Ace Dick’s barely interested responses and the gentle vibrations of the car makes Problem Sleuth start nodding off. Before he knows it his head is drooping downward and the conversation between Dick and Inspector takes an odd turn as Monster Ace Dick starts devouring everything in sight, most of which happens to be gummy worms of various sizes and intelligences. It crosses Sleuth’s mind that it’s not as ridiculous a transformation as his waking mind would think it was.

“Sleuth.”

Sleuth’s head rocks upward as he wakes up.

“We’re here.” Dick tells him.

Sleuth opens the car door and steps outside. The car is parked near a small warehouse, not unlike the tragic casualty they just left. There are moving trucks and men in coats and hats with their sleeves rolled up carefully loading boxes of precious goods. This is Litigious Lawyer’s warehouse and these are his men.

Detective Ringleader is here. Sleuth approaches him, and Ringleader turns around and spots him. “About time you got here. Was wondering if you were ever gonna show up.”

Sleuth casually points to the commotion behind Ringleader. “What’s going on here?”

Ringleader puts his hands on his hips, sweeping his coat behind him in the process. “We’re clearing out, heading to a new location. Got a call earlier today, told me to start getting everything ready to go because some problem sleuth is gonna swing by and pick up Wealthy Quantifier’s lockbox and he’ll have every gangster worth anything after him.” Ringleader explains. “We heard the explosions, figured you had something to do with it, started loading everything up.”

Inspector and Dick walk up to the conversation.

“Hey, Dick. This where you been? Making nice with this bozo?” Ringleader asks. “Coulda used your help here loading all this junk.”

“That’s boring. I’d rather shoot people instead. The only problem with the whole thing was that someone blew up my car.” Ace Dick gives Sleuth a prolonged glare.

Sleuth rolls his eyes. He turns to Ringleader. “The sooner we get out of here the better off we’ll all be.”

“Right.” Ringleader says. He turns around. “Hey! One of you bring the courier’s lockbox over here!” He shouts.

“But you told us to never touch it.” One of Lawyer’s hired detectives protests.

“I know what I told you! Just bring it over here.” Ringleader says. He shakes his head. “Can’t find good hired help these days.” One of the detectives disappears into the warehouse and jogs out, lockbox in hand. He hands it over to Ringleader. Ringleader gives it a shake, tugs on the padlock, and then hands it over to Sleuth.

Sleuth looks it over. It’s lighter than he expected. “Thanks.” Sleuth says. “If you clear out quick enough you ought to be able to avoid the Felt and the Midnight Crew.”

“Did ya get ‘em good?” Ringleader asks.

Sleuth smiles. “They’re gonna need new cars. And a casket or two.” Sleuth dabs at his nose. It’s clotting over. “I got ‘em better than they got me, at least.”

Sleuth turns to leave. “Just curious. What’s so important about what’s in that box that the Felt and the Midnight Crew are ready to kill each other over it?” Ringleader asks.

“Are you sure you wanna know?” Sleuth looks back over his shoulder. “Think about who else they’re willing to kill.”

“Good point. Forget I asked.”

Sleuth turns and walks towards the car. Inspector gets in the driver seat. Dick takes shotgun as Sleuth hops in the back seat. Problem Sleuth watches Detective Ringleader walk to the warehouse office as Inspector starts the car and starts driving. He’s probably going to call a nervous Lawyer and report that Wealthy Quantifier’s lockbox is safely in the hands of Problem Sleuth.

Sleuth notices Inspector looking eagerly back at him through the rearview mirror. “What?” Sleuth asks.

“Are you going to open it?” Inspector asks. “What’s inside? I can not wait to see what it is. I am positively addled by excitement!”

Sleuth looks at the lockbox sitting on his lap. Property of Wealthy Quantifier is imprinted on the top of the metal box and a thick padlock is keeping it closed.

The padlock is overkill. It’s significantly thicker than the metal loop it’s wrapped around and Sleuth would have an easier time prying it off than cutting it open. On the surface of the padlock is a queen’s crown in white surrounded by gold. Wealthy Quantifier must use it for things she really wants to keep safe. “It’s locked.”

“Then open it.” Inspector instructs.

“I don’t have the key.”

“Give it here.” Ace Dick says, reaching over the seat. “I’ll open it for you, you wuss.”

Sleuth holds it away from Dick. “No, you’ll crush it.”

“Just give it here.”

“No, stop it.”

“Dammit, Sleuth, will you just-”

“Stop it, Dick.”

“Sleuth, allow Dick to open-”

“Do you remember what happened the last time?”

“That was a misfortunate accident.”

“I’ll be careful.”

“The hell you will!”

“You don’t trust me?”

“No!”

“Sleuth, please reconsider.”

“No!”

“Fine!” Ace Dick gives up and sits forward in his seat. “Be a little cry baby about it. I don’t even want to know what’s inside anyway.”

“But, Sleuth,” Inspector says. “You must be curious about what’s inside. You do want to know, do you not?” Inspector asks.

“More than anything.” Sleuth says. “But we’re not opening it up here. Until we’re somewhere safe and away from prying eyes this box is staying closed.”

“Then where to shall we go?” Inspector asks.

“My office.”

The ride to Sleuth’s office is uneventful. Pickle Inspector starts talking about his time travel experiences to a disinterested Ace Dick again, elaborating on details he suddenly remembers. Before he knows it Sleuth is wandering the desert again in tattered rags that were originally a soldier’s uniform that lost its color long ago. Two men that he recognizes as himself and Sawbuck pop into existence, begin fighting with each other, and disappear just as quickly. At the time Sawbuck sightings were a frequent conversation topic among all the exiles due to their inexplicable nature but now it seems mundane.

Penitential Scourer looks up at the sun, holding his hand to block it out of his eyesight. It doesn’t seem as hot as he remembered it to be. Several hundred years is enough time to adjust to the local weather, no matter how hostile.

“Sleuth.”

Sleuth’s head rocks upward as he wakes up.

“We have arrived at the office.” Inspector says, leaning in through the window.

Sleuth shakes his sleepiness off and steps out of the car, lockbox held at his waist.

“What’s the deal, sleepyhead? Not get your late afternoon coffee?” Dick says.

“I’m tired because the two people I brought along specifically to cover my back decided to take a temporal time out and leave me stranded with a dozen vicious gangsters and a whole lot of work to do.” Sleuth rants. “I think I’m entitled to a little shut eye.” He says, stepping onto the curb.

“I didn’t travel through time.” Dick states.

Sleuth rubs his eyes. “You got punched by Quarters. Of course you traveled through time.”

Ace Dick looks stupidly at Sleuth. Sleuth glares back. “Inspector, go check the alleyways, make sure we don’t have any guests. Dick,” Sleuth points to the roof opposite his office window with his thumb. “Go make sure Doze isn’t sitting there. If he is, toss him in a dumpster or something. I’m going inside.”

“Why do we have to-”

“Shut it, Dick, and do what you’re told.” Sleuth barks as he enters the office building.

Dick and Inspector look at each other. They shrug, and go to search the area.

Problem Sleuth ascends the stairs to his office, stomping his way up. Each step feels like it’s taking more effort than it should, like the lockbox is weighing him down. Or maybe he’s out of energy.

Sleuth steps into the office and flips the switch. The light bulb and ceiling fan turn on. Sleuth puts the lockbox on his desk and turns the blinds closed. He takes off his coat and puts it on top of his filing cabinet next to his bloodied hat.

Dick and Inspector walk in. “We’re clear.” Dick says. They walk to the desk.

Inspector is touching his fingers together. “It is safe to open the box now, Problem Sleuth.” He eagerly says.

Sleuth curls his hands into fists and leans onto the desk with them. It’s safe to open, but how? “Any ideas?”

“Yeah.”

“Shut up, Dick.”

“Perhaps it could be opened with a key.” Inspector suggests, fingers wildly tapping each other.

“I don’t have the key for the box.”

“I did not specify you required the correct key.” Inspector clarifies.

Problem Sleuth: Use key on lockbox.

You pull your revolver out of your coat and stick it in the lock. It’s a loose fit. You turn it, and all there is is a click.

Sleuth looks at the chamber of his gun. He pats his coat pockets. “I’m out of ammo.”

"You've got to be kidding." Dick rolls his eyes, pulls out his own key and takes out a single bullet. He hands it to Sleuth.

==>

You reload your revolver and stick it back in the lock. You turn it several times.

Click click. Click. Click click BLAM.

Sleuth startles backwards. This was such a phenomenonally terrible idea. As the smoke dissipates Sleuth, Dick, and Inspector all lean in to inspect the padlock. It’s completely undamaged. Jammed inside the keyhole is a bullet and Sleuth’s key. After a few pulls both pop out.

“Any other ideas?” Sleuth asks.

“Yeah.”

Sleuth groans. “Fine. Just try not to smash the damn thing.” Sleuth reluctantly passes the lockbox to Ace Dick.

Ace Dick confidently smiles as he grabs the box with one hand and the padlock with the other. He pulls. Nothing happens for a few seconds. The sounds of creaking metal then come from the box.

“Stop it, Dick.” Sleuth reaches forward.

“Wait, I’ve almost got it.” Dick protests.

“Release that immediately.” Inspector says, swatting Dick.

Dick tosses the lockbox onto the desk. The padlock remains. The corner of the box is bent inwards.

Sleuth sighs. “I’m all out. Inspector? Dick?”

Both of them shake their head.

Before Problem Sleuth, Pickle Inspector, and Ace Dick lies the most sought-after artifact on the planet. Men have fought each other for it. Men have died to protect it. Fortunes spent to recover it. Families torn apart by it. Their actions concerning it may be the most important things they may ever do in their lives.

And they can’t open the damn box.

“This is tremendously disappointing.”

Dick and Sleuth grunt in agreement.

Inspector sighs. “I trust it will be safe in your keeping if we leave you alone for the night?” He asks.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” Sleuth says. “Get some rest. And make yourselves available. This isn’t over yet, and I might need your help again, and quick.”

“Gotcha, Sleuth.” Dick says. Inspector and Dick walk towards the door to Sleuth’s office. “Good luck.” Sleuth nods as they walk out.

Problem Sleuth: Hide somewhere safe.

Only one thing to do now. Hide and hope the Felt’s and Midnight Crew’s retribution doesn’t come until the late afternoon.

Problem Sleuth walks to the group picture hanging on his wall, and lifts it off and sets it on his desk. Behind it is a safe. He spins the knob around clockwise and counterclockwise to the right combination and pulls it open. Inside is a bag of candy corn and not much else.

==>

You honestly don’t know why you even have this thing. You never seem to use it.

Well, you do know. But not the safe in particular.

Sleuth feels around at the back wall of the safe. He pushes at the bottom, and the false back falls forward, revealing a lever. He pulls it, and a small motor starts. Next to the filing cabinet, a secret door slowly swings open.

He releases the lever and the motor stops. He puts the false back back into position, closes the safe door, and hangs the group picture back up.

He flips the light switch. The light and the fan both turn off. With nothing other than filtered pink moonlight, he grabs the lock box and his coat and walks towards the secret door.

Problem Sleuth: Remember to do something.

Now that you’ve got the Sapphire of Alternia, you should probably call Wealthy Quantifier. She’s somehow very knowledgeable about your activities, so she probably already knows that you have the Sapphire. She’s probably eagerly waiting for you to contact her so you and she can arrange an exchange. You probably shouldn’t wait to do this until morning.

It’s okay. She probably doesn’t sleep. And if she is sleeping she deserves to be woken up.

Problem Sleuth puts his coat and lockbox back on the desk. He sits down and picks the phone up and puts the whole thing in his lap. He grabs the receiver and dials Wealthy Quantifier’s number. He holds it up to his ear.

The phone rings. And rings. And rings and rings and rings and rings. Sleuth slams the phone down.

==>

You’d think the mysterious broad would want her damn necklace. You’d think that she’d make herself easy to reach when she’s made it clear she’s watching your every move.

But honestly, you’re not surprised.

Looks like you’re giving it to Wallstreet Keynoter first thing in the morning. Promises be damned, at least he’s not the biggest pain in the ass you’ve ever had to deal with.

Problem Sleuth grabs his coat and the lockbox and walks to the secret door. He steps inside the narrow space and closes the door behind him. He feels around for the rungs of the ladder leading to the building’s basement and descends down.

At the bottom, he stumbles around for the cot he knows is in here, puts his coat and the lockbox next to it, and flops himself down. It creaks under the sudden weight.

Problem Sleuth stares at the pitch black ceiling for a few moments and falls asleep.

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Part 22, or, how much pointless filler can Jim Groovester jam into a segment to stretch it to 2000 words. All of PI's time travel and PS' dreams and all the information that comes from that might be interesting (and maybe funny), but it's completely unnecessary. But we did just have a major action sequence, so we need a bit of down time to wind down, and so does PS.

A few odds and ends I'll address here: Last segment I mentioned that PI's and Sawbuck's Excellent Adventure was probably too disruptive to devote a lot of time to, so instead I mention in it mostly in passing here. I still think it's a little disruptive, but I think the idea of PI appearing out of nowhere, apologizing to the Grand Highblood for interrupting the sentencing of Mindfang, and then disappearing again is pretty funny, so I decided to include it. I'm still debating whether it's a good idea or not. Also, in case it wasn't clear, Quarters' power is to punch people fifteen minutes into the future, or a... quarter of an hour. Man, how do I come up with this stuff.

And if you thought you were going to find out what the SoA was this segment, sorry. Actually, no, I'm not sorry. I was doing that deliberately. If you haven't already guessed what it is you'll find out in the next segment.

Comments:

@VagabondRaiser: So, I've read Vodka Mutiny, and have a vague idea of what's going on. But I still don't have any idea what's going on in this chapter. I guess I'll just sit patiently and wait to see what you've got in store (because I liked Vodka Mutiny).

@anonymousComrade: It kinda feels like you're trying to quickly cover ground to get to a certain point, instead of giving these events enough time to develop naturally and significantly. For example, we learn that Karkinos and Avir supposedly enjoy each other's company, but we don't see them interacting and getting to know each other all that much.

I don't know if this is at all a helpful criticism. Maybe this is just the pace of the fic. But after reading Chapter 2, I got the feeling that there should've been more to it, I guess I can say.

@draconicAlgorithm: Ha ha, "SHUT UP, FUCKASSES, I CAN PLANT THINGS IN THE REARENCLOSURE OF MY HIVE IF I WANT TO." Oh, and hell yes on the scary Gamzee.

@SeptimusMagistos: Heh, I like Eridan's sense of humor. Interesting premise, considering how critical Vriska is to the canon Hivebent plot. Looking forward to more.

@lucidSeraph: Horrorterror Feferi is terrifying. And it's good to see Equius not be a total wimp in the face of a vicious murderer. Nice chapter.

[anonymousComrade]

@anonymousComrade: It kinda feels like you're trying to quickly cover ground to get to a certain point, instead of giving these events enough time to develop naturally and significantly. For example, we learn that Karkinos and Avir supposedly enjoy each other's company, but we don't see them interacting and getting to know each other all that much.

I don't know if this is at all a helpful criticism. Maybe this is just the pace of the fic. But after reading Chapter 2, I got the feeling that there should've been more to it, I guess I can say.

This is really helpful, actually

I kind of hinted at their relationship a bit (it's sort of a friendship that developed as Karkinos kept coming back after getting roughed up every day by the bigots in his squad) but yeah, I totally see where you're coming from now that you mention it

Come to think of it, that's not really the only problem either (the inner workings of the Alternian army just don't seem as violent as they should be, but I'm trying to show why so no exposition on that in this post, anyway)

My problem, I think, is that I want to keep going forward to the events of the original one-shot, because I've got a lot planned for what comes after that, but I don't think I'm giving enough thought to exactly how we get there

So yeah, the next chapter might be a while, I'm going to make double sure I'm doing it right this time

Also I might go back and revise the last one, who knows

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At least I haven't hated any parts of this series immediately after writing them like I did during Crossing Over, geez what a mess that was sometimes

[Path]

Also, in case it wasn't clear, Quarters' power is to punch people fifteen minutes into the future, or a... quarter of an hour. Man, how do I come up with this stuff.

Oh, of course it was. How stupid would you have to be to miss that. That's brilliant, beautiful.

And if you thought you were going to find out what the SoA was this segment, sorry. Actually, no, I'm not sorry. I was doing that deliberately. If you haven't already guessed what it is you'll find out in the next segment.

Halfway through this segment I had the overwhelming and explicit fear that Problem Sleuth is going to get sniped from two buildings away just before he actually picks up the Sapphire, he'll lie on the pavement bleeding out on an unlocked, but closed, box, and neither us nor him will ever know.
Gog DAMMIT Jim Butcher, these expectations are entirely your fault.

[ArmsAreLoud]

Emesis requested Rose/Terezi in the deluge of lesbians currently in the RomArt thread. I AM HERE TO DELIVER. ArmsAreLoud presents...

Rose Lalonde: Ace Attorney

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"OBJ3CT1ON YOUR HONOR! MS. L4LOND3 1S B4DG3R1NG TH3 W1TN3SS!"
"I am doing nothing of the sort. I am merely extracting the truth from this heinous clown."
"COULD YOU TWO BITCHES JUST QUIET DOWN FOR ONE GOG DAMN MINUTE SO I CAN THINK? AGH, I KNEW THIS WAS A BAD IDEA!"

It has been ten years since the events of Sburb, and for the first time since then, we have a murder on our hands. We awoke last night to find one of the children missing; when he was discovered... Well, it was not an agreeable sight to look upon. All eyes immediately turned to Vriska; firstly, she is Vriska and it is a natural thing for everyone to blame her when things go wrong. Secondly, a member of the Fluorite Octet was found at the crime scene. Normally Terezi would just take this excuse to hang her, but the look on John's face obliged me to defend the spider queen. Against my better judgement, I admit, but I stand here now, defending her nonetheless.

Currently on the witness stand is Gamzee Makara. He himself had been a killer as a child, but a mixture between Karkat's attentiveness and a heavy dose of sopor slime had been believed to have ended that.

I know he did it. I just have to prove it.

"ALRIGHT, LALONDE. YOU BETTER HAVE A GOG DAMN GOOD REASON FOR THIS LINE OF QUESTIONING OR ELSE I'M HOLDING YOU IN CONTEMPT OF COURT. YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT UNDER ALTERNIAN LAW THE PUNISHMENT FOR BEING IN CONTEMPT OF COURT IS DEATH BY FIRING SQUAD.

...Of course it is. I should have known that agreeing to face Terezi under Alternian rules was a terrible idea.

"I understand, Your Honor. Now, Mister Makara... You say that you were the first to discover our victim's body. Can you describe what led you to him?"

"MoThErFuCkInG mIrAcLeS. iT's AlL i NeEd My InVeRtEsIsTeR.

"This again. Wonderful. Perhaps I should ask a different question... Ms. Pyrope. Would you please describe the cause of death for the jury?

"GL4DLY. TH3 BOY W4S B34T3N ON TH3 H34D NUM3ROUS T1M3S. TH3 MURD3R W34PON 1S UNKNOWN, 4S 1T COULD TRULY B3 4NYTH1NG W1TH TH3 FLUOR1T3 OCT3T 1N PL4Y.

"8ut I didn't do it!!!!!!!!

"QU13T YOU!" In response to Vriska's interruption Terezi quickly threw a knife in her general direction. Vriska's shoulder is now bleeding profusely.

"Is she allowed to do that?"

"YES. YES SHE IS. GET A MOVE ON, LALONDE."

"Yes. Ms. Pyrope, I currently have a list of every possibility when rolling the fluorite octet, written eleven years ago by Miss Serket herself. Would you pleasure us with a reading?"

"OF COURS3 NOT! TH4T L1ST 1S M4SS1VE!

"So what you are saying is that you do not know what the Octet is capable of. Or, perhaps more importantly, what it isn't."

"...WH4T'S YOUR PO1NT?

"I spent all last evening reading this list, Miss Pyrope. The Octet will never summon a bludgeoning item small enough to cause the wounds on our victim."

"WH4T".

"WHAT."

"HaHa MoThErFuCkInG wHaT?"

"It would appear Mr. Makara was not aware of this fact either. Good, this makes it easy. I assert that Gamzee murdered the child with his clubs, a small bludgeoning weapon that I can assure you fits perfectly with the wounds, and stole an Octet dice in order to frame Miss Serket.

"...real motherfucking impressive, rose.

"Excuse me, Mr. Makara? I did not quite catch that.

"I SAID THAT WAS REAL MOTHERFUCKING IMPRESSIVE MOTHERFUCKER!!!

"OH GOG IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN! SOMEONE, QUICK, RESTRAIN HIM! SOPOR SHOTS, WHERE ARE HIS SOPOR SHOTS?

It took the combined might of John, Dave, and Kanaya, but we finally held him down. He will hang this time. He is too much of a liability to keep around now.

Afterwards I met with Terezi. She was sitting at a bench outside court. She appeared to have been crying a little.

"A penny for your thoughts, prosecutor?"

"1 LOST. 1 N3V3R LOS3.

"It had to happen eventually, Terezi. Besides, that is one confrontation I could not afford to lose. I do not think I could face John if Vriska were to hang.

"YOU COMPL3T3LY OUTSTR1PP3D M3 1N TH3R3. ST4YING UP 4LL N1GHT TO F1ND 3V1D3NC3 FOR VR1SK4'S 1NNOC3NC3... TH4T W4S S3R1OUS D3D1C4T1ON. 1 L1K3 TH4T."

"Excuse me?"

"TH3 W4Y YOU SPOK3... 1T W4S 1NCR3D1BLE. YOU W3R3 SO D3T3RM1N3D. SO BOLD! NOW TH4T 1 LOOK B4CK 1 R34L1Z3 1 W4S NOT 3NT1R3LY 1NV3ST3D 1N TH4T C4S3. 1 W4S TOO BUSY LOOK1NG 4T YOU.

"Terezi, I...

You should have seen Karkat's face.

[Path]

"WH4T".

"WHAT."

"HaHa MoThErFuCkInG wHaT?"

Ahahaha, every time Gamzee interrupts a serious situation to talk in his derped up dopey voice I lose it.

[ProspitDreamer]

Wow this was so funny. Morbid but also extremely entertaining and funny.

[FordDent]

hey guys hey guys

remember when i used to write this au fic called violetesence and i had this chaptered thing going called revolutions of ruin

huh

me neither


v i o l e t e s e n c e - Revolutions of Ruin

Chapter 2 - Soaking Through

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Soaking Through on Archive Of Our Own

a/n

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Wow hey guess who actually started reading Only Revolutions? I'm... not sure I want to keep with the color tricks through the next chapter as it's a pain in the ass. I like how it looks, but holy fuck the amount of time it takes to code that arrgh.

Also I now have an IC Chumhandle for David, under the name tortileGhostwriter, so idk if I'm on pester me (though both David and I can be standoffish at times, so you've been warned?

Ha ha ha yes.

Yes. Excellent.

[wanttoflyhigh]

That was amazing, AAL. Wow. This has earned you 413 points. 8D

[ProspitDreamer]

Well it's not like I have any free time or anything, but this needed to get written before any more updates came.

Voices

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Face hurts. Shoulders hurt, arms hurt, hands and wrists and knees. Everything fucking hurts. Why? Try to remember why…
> this is so completely illegal.
what?
>this is no behavior for a hero
im not a fucking hero
Damn right. Some kid I raised. Can’t even fucking fall with irony.
shut up
That’s right, don’t listen to them, listen to us.
who are you
You need to become god tier.
>you need to seek justice.
You need to continue lying right there.
You must get more power. You must become god tier. Trust me, I know everything.
No, trust us. Stay where you are, never get up. Die and be with us in our bubbles. Rescue us.
okay
D4V3 G3T UP
>you have to take jack on, it is your duty.
No, you must destroy Jack and all like him by helping Rose.
Yes, and the best way to do that is to die.
D4V3 G3T UP!
Yes, get up, and help Rose destroy the Green Sun. It is your greater purpose in the grand scheme of things.
>enough of this grandiloquence and these huge sweeping plans! you need to fight jack, he must be punished.
No, you’re not fighting anyone. You suck at fighting. Stay right where you are and stop causing trouble.
Yes, stay right there and die so you can be with us.
D4V3 G3T UP GOG D4MM1T, 1 H4V3 M4JOR PROBL3MS H3R3

Voices. There are too many; you can’t keep a thought straight long enough to follow it through to the end. Which voice is yours? You can’t even tell. Are any of them? Which one do you trust?

How many times have I told you not to play with swords when I'm not around?
>this kind of failure is not permissable.
You are most certainly a failure.
We don't care whether you fail, as long as you die.
D4V3, G3T UP. 1 N33D YOU

That one. You know that one. It’s familiar. It knows your name.

Stop wasting time. You must become god-tier. You will not accomplish it but you must make the attempt.
>you need to step up. jack has to pay for this.
You just lie your ass right there and stay out of trouble. Stop getting hurt.
D4V3, PL34SE G3T UP…1 C4NT LOS3 YOU
Listen to your brother, listen to us. Stay right where you are. You don’t want to move.
You’re no hero.
You’re just trouble.
D4V3, PL34SE G3T UP…1 LOV3 YOU

That one. That’s the one you trust. That’s the one you answer.

[ArmsAreLoud]

Oh wow sure is unwarranted positive reaction in here

It's not like I could even decide between past and present tense or anything. Thanks for the comments anyways, though. XD

@PD: Oh man that was so good. I think the use of Bro's voice was the best.

[penguinbound]

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Clustermuck is an AU about Blood Swaps. Special ones, because I placed all the trolls names on a randomzier program and randomized a few things. Just kind of a special take on Blood Swaps.

Clustermuck presents:
Aradia Megido's Guide to Becoming Matesprits with a Recovering Sopor Addict

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antitheticalConcordant [AC] began trolling abberantGallantry [AG]

AC: UHuh
AC: TEREZIterezi AREare YOUyou THEREthere?
AC: YOUyou HAVEN'Thaven't BEENbeen INin THEthe LABlab INin Aa WHILEwhile ANDand WEwe GOTgot WORRIEDworried.
AC: WELLwell Ii WASwas ACTUALLYactually REALLYreally WORRIEDworried.
AC: OHoh GODgod I'Mi'm NOTnot PATHETICpathetic AMam Ii??
AC: I'Mi'm NOTnot TURNINGturning INTOinto VRISKAvriska AMam Ii?
AG: oh my god would you shut the HELL up
AG: why cant you just not talk for five goddamn seconds you annoying bulgeeater
AG: this is why i dont like you very much i mean what the hell man
AC: YOUyou
AC: YOUyou DON'Tdon't LIKElike MEme??
AC: D:
AC: OHoh GODgod I'Mi'm SOso SORRYsorry YOUyou HAVEhave TOto DEALdeal WITHwith MEme.
AC: NOno YOUyou KNOWknow WHATwhat FUCKfuck YOUyou I'VEi've ALWAYSalways BEENbeen NICEnice TOto YOUyou SOso YOUyou HAVEhave NOOOOOno RIGHTright TOto TALKtalk TOto MEme LIKElike THATthat!
AG: am i going to have to go to the lab just to cut your hands off so i dont have to deal with your annoying typing bullshit
AG: why do you even type like that
AG: that is literally the worst kind of quirk ever
AG: how do you deal with that
AG: so would you politely stop giving a fuck so i can deal with this
AC: Ok, I'll drop the quirk. Oh, wow, this is really hard to type like. Um, anyway, if you wouldn't mind would you tell me how you got so, um, angry?
AG: i ran out of sopor you bipolar shitface
AG: you know because theres none of that SHIT on this hellhole
AG: so you would understand if i was a tiny bit PISSED THE FUCK OFF
AC: Oh, um. Well geez, maybe if you didn't BURN THROUGH THAT SHIT like a motherfucking fatass scarfs down food, you wouldn't be in this FUCKING MESS now would you?
AC: See? Two can play that game.
AG: god why are you so annoying
AG: i mean fuck you switch emotions to much for you to even be bipolar
AG: its like every two fucking seconds you switch emotions
AG: are you sure you arent schizophrenic
AG: because i wouldnt be surprised if you were
AC: look i'm sorry if i'm such a terrible person to be around
AC: i'm sorry i bother you all the time i guess you dont feel the same way but i still want to help!
AC: SO FUCK what you say, i'm going up to your room, and i'm going to CHEER you right the fuck up, no matter what you say.
AG: and im going to stab you with all of the tridents i have
AG: because you are getting no where near my room
AG: i dont want to be infected with your annoying
AC: fine
AC: fine fuck you and fuck me
AC: fuck you for being such an nookstain
AC: and fuck me for trying.
AC: have a great fucking time skulking.

antitheticalConcordant [AC] ceased trolling abberantGallantry [AG]

Karkat ran his fingers through his hair, sighing. His body felt like it was going to pull apart, a fierce anger and a deep sadness both trying to claim control. Why couldn't life be simple to deal with, instead of this bullshit? The troll wheeled back to his computer, and searched his list for somebody who could help him in this situation. Maybe... her! He quickly clicked on her trolltag, and started typing.

antitheticalConcordant [AC] began trolling classyGalliard [CG]

AC: UMum Ii NEEDneed YOURyour HELPhelp ARADIAaradia.
CG: i do believe i could help you with that, definitely. well, it depends on the kind of problem you have, but i think i shall be quite a great deal of help, at least a tiny bit of not that.
CG: do go on.
AC: OKok...
AC: SOso Ii TALKEDtalked TOto TEREZIterezi...

======

Karkat stomped his foot on the transportalizer, accomplishing nothing but gaining a sense of defeat. How would he get into her room? He frowned, and his fingers played with a bit of his hair. "Fuck, fuck, fuck! Why can't this just work out? Ugh, I just wanna be helpful, but noooo, nobody wants me to," a twang of sorrow shook him. "God, I'm such a failure! I'm the worst friend ever! Why can't I be gifted like Equius?" The green blooded troll wiped tears from his eyes, and crawled to the corner of the room, letting out a shaky breath.

Such

A

Fuckup.

======

Terezi scowled as she popped into the hallway, glancing around. She didn't see him at first, but she did hear soft sobbing. She turned her glance to the source of the sound, and sighed. The sight of him crying some how made her feel worse, and god that seemed like it would be the hardest thing to accomplish right now. She walked over to him, and placed her hands on her hips. "Karkat. Hey, Karkles! What's your problem?" The troll, whose face had faint traces of green, looked up.

"Why do you care?" He tried to sound angry, but failed, miserably.

"Because I'm not completely heartless, unfortunately," she sat down next to him. "Now talk."

"I'm terrible at everything. I can't help anybody, I'm annoying, hell, I've got a defect that makes me have more mood swings than any one person should have! I'm screwed right the hell up," Karkat avoided looking at her. "I'm sorry I was so annoying earlier."

Terezi blinked, as she listened. Then, she grinned wide, for the first time since she ran out of Sopor, and placed a kiss on his cheek. "God, you are such a big fucking wimp." She laughed, stood up, and walked back to her room, transportalizing with a poof. Karkat stared after her, and then smiled wide.

======

CG: so? did it work? did your manly charms swoon her? did you sweep her off her feet with the delightfully nice and adorable compliments you gave her?
AC: Nope!
CG: what
AC: I tried entering her room, but I couldn't, so I freaked out and went into the corner. She came out and we talked and then she kissed my cheek!
CG: i figured you had been typing too chipper for rejection. congragulations, mr. vantas! i do believe you are one step closer to becoming a matesprit with a recovering sopor addict! now, let's start on part two...

A/N:

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...also known as Red Dead Aries.

there may or may not be a sequel to this particular story.

It's just something I wanted to put out to get the AU introduced, really. They are, in fact, in the Veil in this story. I hoped you enjoyed.

[lucidSeraph]

@penguinbound - ... I'm sorry, but leaving the handles the way you did made it SUPER CONFUSING as to who was who. I... still don't know, to be honest? AC is supposed to be Nepeta but it's... uh... vriska? what?

[battlerek]

Oh hey I'm still writing this.

Another Crew: The List

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The trip to the inn outside the city was a boring one, mainly because Ace Dick wasn't driving and Pickle Inspector was silent, not one meaningless ramble or annoying romantic account from him. For a moment Problem Sleuth was sure they'd been replaced by alternate universe clones or something.

When they arrived Sleuth half-expected either of them to start grumbling or questioning her leadership again, but they still kept quiet. It was starting to bother her, to be honest. "What's up with you two?" Sleuth asked as she parked her car. "I ain't heard either of you say anything all morning."

Ace Dick tried to avert his eyes. Inspector was ogling the little inn they were investigating today, although Sleuth was sure he was trying to ignore her. "I don't know, Sleuth." It was Ace Dick who finally spoke, " I have a bad feeling about this."

"What? The great Ace Dick going chicken on me?"

"Shut up, fuckface! I'm not scared or anything, but for some reason this place is giving me the fucking creeps! Like we shouldn't have gone here in the first place!"

That's better, Sleuth thought. She was a little surprised that Ace Dick was nervous though, since she was absolutely certain he was too stupid for that. "If that's the case then let's go inside, it's a bit chilly this morning."

"I still think we should check the ruined apartment." Inspector grumbled.

The EarthenDam Inn was a small, establishment that manages to make a tidy profit for itself, since it was close to the forest and a lot of hunters rent rooms there during duck season. It practically went bankrupt over a decade ago after several guests and even the owner went missing. It’s experience a surge of visitors these past few months though, many of whom were interested in the otherworldly ‘creatures’ said to lurk in the forests, and were rumored to have been the ones who took guests from the inn fifteen years ago. They say the creatures still lurk the forests to this day, just waiting for the opportunity to take more people into their clutches.

"Or so they say." The inn manager said to Problem Sleuth. "That's all I know."

"Thank you for your time, Mr. manager." Sleuth said. "There's just one thing I need to know."

"Of course. Anything to help the city's best Sleuth."

"Tell me the names of the guests during that night 15 years ago."

"Oh, well, I'm sorry but it's been so long since it happened that I don't remember."

"Really? Well, you should have it in your records. It wouldn't be too much to ask for me to take a look."

The manager's eye twitched. Oh ho, the little fly's lying. Sleuth thought.

"I'm sorry, I don't know anything. Promise."

"Really now?"

"Yes, really."

"You're lying."

"um, pardon?"

"You heard me." Sleuth grinned. A knife was in Problem Sleuth's hand now, as well as an orange. "You're lying, I can tell."

"You are mistaken madam, I have told you everything I-what are you doing?"

"What, something wrong with peeling an orange?"

"Well, it's just that-"

"Know why I got kicked off the force?" Sleuth interrupted. "There was this murder, or rape I think. Maybe it's both, I don't remember it well. Anyway, there's this one witness who just wouldn't talk, you see? Said he didn't know anything, but I knew a man keeping a secret when I see one. So you know what I do to him, you wanna know?"

The inn manager shook his head. Sleuth continued anyway.

"It was the 3rd night of interrogation. Ol' Retainer was out that night getting donuts, so I was the only one in the room with him that night. He still wouldn't talk, so what I do, what I do, what I do, is I take my knife out, see. Then I walk over to the chair I got him strapped on, and you know what I did with my knife, you know what I did?" Problem Sleuth sneered.

"I-I'm calling the police!"

"Oh, don't do that we're just getting to the best part!"

"Please madam, I'm just-"

"Oh, I give the guy a big smile, and I tell him 'hey friend, how you doin'? You know that murder you saw? You know? You know? I want you to cough it all up, come on, tell me everything! If you don't tell me I'll show you what I can I do with my knife!' And you know what I did, you know what? Come on, ask, ask!"


"So how'd you do it, Sleuth?" Ace Dick asked. He'd spent the better part of the day searching for some clues with Pickle Inspector, which meant he'd heard yet another moving story of his one-sided romance with one of his informants. Some good news would be good right now.

"I used the ol' knife trick." Sleuth said. "And that's how I got this." She showed her two companions the List.

"And how's that going to help us?" Pickle Inspector asked.

"You'll see."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Inn manager was on the floor of his office, blood spilling out of his mouth. Diamonds Droog was standing over him, needlewand in hand.

"I'm sorry! She threatened to kill me!?"

"Idiot. She used the old knife trick, the most ineffective intimidation technique the police ever invented." Droog aimed her wand at the owner's face. "And after I paid you so much money to keep quiet after you told us everything."

"Please, don't kill me! I'll give you back all the money!"

"That information was worth more than your life, you worm. I believe that would be suitable compensation for me."

There was a flash, and the Inn manager was reduced to a smear on the floor.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spades Slick, Clubs Deuce and Hearts Boxcars were standing outside the local university. They'd run out of ideas on how to open the second chessboard, and Droog's crew of nerds weren't helping at all. It was time to call an expert.

"Do you think he'll help us, Slick?" Deuce asked. "I don't think he'll help us at all."

"We did rough up that creepy bastard once." Boxcars agreed.

"Oh, he'll help us." Spades Slick said, grinning. "I can be very convincing when I want to be." Slick took out a piece of paper Droog sent him this morning. It was a surprise that he'd been involved in that incident 15 years ago, and when they learned that he was, it was an opportunity to hit two birds in one stone. Droog was convinced that the incident's connected with all this chessboard business, so they might as well ask him. He looked up the List again.

Fedora Freak
Dorian Scratch
Wise Kindred
Professor Honeybee
Legislating Englishman
Brilliant Quartermaster

A/N

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New chapter finished! Still no hardboiled action, so I thought I'd compensate with a semi-interesting list of potential future characters who may or may not be important at all.

[anonymousComrade]

@PropsitDreamer: gaaaahhhhhh stop trying to make me ship this (seriously though don't stop, I enjoyed this)

@penguinbound: I'm gonna have to second being confused as hell here, but I think I got it all sorted out? In any case there are definitely some interesting ideas here

@battlerek: Sleuth's hard-boiledness combining with Vriska being Vriska is a great combo, terrifying and hilarious all at once

In other news, I'm getting the urge to write lame fluff again and I am making a valiant attempt to resist

But I'll probably fail so stay tuned

[penguinbound]

Yeah, I probably should changed the handles. Karkat has Nepeta's blood, now, Terezi has Vriska's blood color, and Aradia is gray. I'll put together a list of who's who, next time.

[ProspitDreamer]

@PropsitDreamer: gaaaahhhhhh stop trying to make me ship this (seriously though don't stop, I enjoyed this)

Thank you, and do not worry. I am incapable of controlling any of my shipping in any way, so stopping is impossible.

In other news, I'm getting the urge to write lame fluff again and I am making a valiant attempt to resist

But I'll probably fail so stay tuned

I urge you to fail to resist with all your might.

@battlerek- Yesssssssssssssss Vriska finally shows her true colors as the psychotic bitch that she is. And then Rose outdoes her. Gorgeous.

@ArmsAreLoud- Thank you, I've never written Bro before so that's a pretty awesome compliment.

[Aldaris]

I love how beautifully the canon characters merge into those of Another Crew, and the awesomely creepy effect of seeing characters you're used to seeing as good guys being what they are here.

Keep it up.

[Violet CLM]

Silly little fairytale idea. The Four Humans Gruff

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Once upon a time there were four humans named John and Jade and Rose and Dave who were sent by their guardians to go pick fresh herbs in the forest. They all worked very hard, and when the sun began to set, they came together to go back home to the village where they lived.

Now, on the way back to their village was a long bridge that was so very narrow and fragile that only one human could cross it a time. And living under this bridge was a big scary troll named Karkat! Karkat had big sharp teeth and scary gray skin and tiny little horns, and there was no food he liked better than humans. Whenever humans crossed the bridge when it was dark out (because trolls can't stand the sunlight!) he would crawl out from underneath and eat them up. But the humans had no idea that the scary troll lived underneath the bridge.

The first to cross the bridge was the Dave human, and he walked across it very casually. When he reached the middle of the bridge, the hungry troll climbed up onto the bridge to meet him. The troll said, "HEY, FUCKASS, DON'T BOTHER PRAYING TO WHATEVER STUPID FUCKING HUMAN GODS YOU WORSHIP, BECAUSE I AM YOUR TRUE GOD AND I'M ABOUT TO EAT YOU RIGHT HERE."

The Dave human was very cool and told Karkat, "nah man you dont wanna do that cause im totally malnutritioned and bony and all that shit but my main man john is coming over next and he basically lives on cakes so you should probably eat him instead"

The hungry troll liked the sound of this, so he let the Dave human go, and crawled back underneath the bridge again! Next came the John human, walking very jauntily, and again the troll clambered onto the bridge to face him. "OKAY, WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO HERE IS I'M GOING TO FUCKING EAT YOU AND YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TRY TO DISSUADE ME WITH ANY FUCKING TALK OF FATTER HUMANS OR ANYTHING, GOT THAT?" said the troll, and he bared his sharp pointy teeth.

The troll was very scary, but the John human didn't know how to be afraid of anything! "oh man ive never met a troll before!" he said and did a kind of dance around the bridge to look at Karkat from more angles. "do you really eat humans? hahaha man that is so gross! or i guess i dunno its probably not gross for you but it sure sounds pretty silly to me! youre really committed to this whole troll thing though so hey respect to you dude!"

The troll growled angrily and thought maybe it should let the John human cross the bridge. "ERGH, JUST, SHUT UP ALREADY," it said, and made a scowly face. "YOU ARE SO GODDAMN STUPID I BET I WOULD GET DUMBER JUST BY EATING YOU. LOOK, THE NEXT ONE OF YOU ASS UGLY HUMANS, IS IT NICE AND FAT?"

The John human looked back across the bridge to see which one of his friends was coming next. "you mean rose? hehe well since you ask i guess she could stand to lose a few pounds! her mom is pretty well off i guess and feeds her well but shes not huge or anything! you wont tell her i said that or anything right?"

Instead of answering, the troll crawled back under the bridge, and the John human shrugged and went his merry way. The next human to come along was the one named Rose, and when it reached the center of the bridge, Karkat climbed up to meet her. "OKAY, LET'S NOT DO THE GODDAMN TALKY THING THIS TIME," he said, and flexed his arm muscles. "YOU, FOOD. ME, TROLL. IS THIS GOING TO HAVE TO BE A FEDERAL FUCKING ISSUE?"

The Rose human too was not afraid, but looked at the troll and said, "Fascinating.

"Do you know, I have never met a troll before? I mean, I've certainly heard of your species, bizarre as it seems from an evolutionary perspective, but I always assumed my mother was simply making you up in an attempt to frighten me. She is a devious one to be sure and I did not hesitate to attribute such falsehoods to her, which I suppose must say something about me as a daughter. And yet here you are standing on this bridge expressing a heated desire to consume me for my debatable nutritional value.

"Those horns on your head are remarkably small, by the way. I had thought that most species with horns evolved those for the purposes of sexual selection, but surely that typically favors those animals with the largest horns, not the smallest? Of course, that leads to the inevitable hypothesis that you are an unfit member of your species and unlikely to survive to reproduce your genes in the next generation. I mean no offense, of course, I am merely making an observation based on your nublike phenotype. Further support of my hypothesis derives from the fact that you apparently live alone under a bridge rather than enjoying the companionship of your own kind.

"And now it seems that you are picking me up and walking across the bridge with me as your freight. Is this a mating ritual? If so, I must most respectfully decline, for a relationship with a member of another species has never especially appealed to me, even despite the shock it would inevitably bring to my mother. And yet my dubiously heartfelt entreaty brings no relief from your unflinching stride. Perhaps you are intending to carry through with your original plan to employ me as your supper, although I should give you fair warning that I hardly intend to play into the role of 'damsel in distress' should that indeed be your intent.

"I see. You have deposited me in the very spot whither I was originally bound before our chance encounter and are now stalking moodily back to your dwelling spot. I do apologize if my words have in any way failed to endear me to you or convinced you that I would not make an appealing meal. Please do not take my words as a slight against your species; I do not find your gray skin at all displeasing and might indeed welcome one of your kind into my circle of friends, although such a troll should of necessity be endowed with a better sense of fashionable attire than I fear you possess. Well, I must to my mother's - goodbye!"

Meanwhile the troll, who was by now very hungry indeed, had returned to the center of the bridge. At last the Jade human came up to him, and she was very saccharine. Karkat climbed up in front of her and spat out a few short sentences. "YOU ARE A HUMAN AND I WILL EAT YOU NOW. DO NOT SAY ONE FUCKING WORD."

"omigosh those are the cutest horns i have ever seen!!!" said the Jade human and ran forward to play with them, forgetting her herbs entirely. "and your teeth! and oh gosh if you are hungry dont worry about that i can just irradiate you a steak or something :PP but you have to come home to meet my grandfather, he loves strange creatures and you are so cute and strange but mostly cute i guess! &lt;3"

The Jade human leaned forward and kissed the troll on the nose, and then took him back to her home in the village where she fed him everything he ever asked for. And the humans were all very happy, and if they're not yet dead, then I'll bet they're happy still. Karkat will tell you that he's angry, but if you ask him at the right time, when Jade has just fed him something and he's lying with his head in her lap and none of the other trolls from the forest have bothered him for a few days, then maybe, just maybe, you might catch a hint of a smile on his face too.