MSPA Fanfiction VI: Trashy Rainbow Drinker Fanfiction

[Path]

@battlerek- I'm still loving Another Crew.
There were several swapped gender pronouns I'm curious about.
"Hearts Boxcars looked at the glass cylinders on top of his lab table with a mix of curiousity and uneasiness. They contained a yellow liquid that Boxcars was very sure (s)he'd seen before, but not inside a glass jar attached to some rubber tubes and a curious machine with pumps and valves attached to it."

"He called his old friend and informed (him) of his upcoming 'visitors'. Well, at least Honeybee had enough money to afford her own burial."
I'm not sure if it was just a typo or if you mean that Freak's friend and Honeybee are two different people?

[newbonomicon]

Why exactly would Equius take up the name of an Earth folk hero?

[Glee Unit]

Why exactly would Equius take up the name of an Earth folk hero?

Because it's depraved? (Just guessing.)

[zebtrestalala]

Red Dead Sagittarius Part 4

show spoiler

hide spoiler

The powerful Alternian sun is almost overpowering. It’s most surely almost noon, high time for the terrible undead that stalk the land. Somewhere else in the world, a young red blooded troll is struggling against the effects of day, fending off the forces of evil with the help of an unseen force. However, we are no longer pursuing Equius.

You are now ARADIA MEGIDO. It is high noon in alternia, at least where you are, and you are wide awake. You, personally, thrive in the sunlight, though it often burns the eyes and skin of other trolls. It is even more intense in the middle of the desert, where you live, but you don’t mind it. You and your mother grub personally love frolicking in the golden rays of the sunlight. That is, when you’re not EXPLORING.

You often leave your lawn ring, with your lusus in tow, to go and explore the abandoned ruins of the desert. There’s one temple nearby that you have yet to fully explore, but surely, one day, you will plumb its depths. You have, however, discovered an interesting code which you have given to your more adept acquaintances to decipher.

Today, however, you will not be exploring, as you need to preserve your energy for the GAME that you will be playing tonight. The whispers of your company in your dreams constantly tell you things in your sleep, things that have yet to happen but must happen. You’ve been dreaming on the dark purple planet for as long as you can remember. You’ve heard tales of other trolls’ dreams of the collective memories of your race, but somehow you think your dreams might be different. You’re not sure if it’s for better or for worse.

But, for now, you aren’t dreaming. Since you aren’t going out exploring today, you get the chance to look at all your historical artifacts! Your hive is littered with them, from all different eras and dynasties and proud troll emperors and empresses. You especially love collecting old historical texts, and you spend most of your time that you aren’t exploring with your nose in a book. But when you’re not doing that, you sometimes engage in the noble, ancient practice of horticulture. It helps to control the climate around your hive, and it gives your lusus a place to sleep. Plus you can shape them like architecture from your favorite civilizations! You once tried to shape it like the things you see in your dreams, but the bush started getting ugly around the 10th tentacle, and probably couldn’t handle 1,000. Nonetheless, you are very happy with your bushes as they are.

Talking all about your bushes makes you want to go outside and relax. Take in the sun that apparently Jade bloods have been bred to stand. It’s not all that strange, given your group of friends’ powers. Being able to stand the sunlight is not even close to the other abilities of your group members. From what Sollux and your whispers have told you, you’ll all be put to the limits of your abilities by the game you’re about to play, so you figure that taking a chance to lie down in the sun with a good book might be a nice choice. You choose one of Troll Shakespeare’s works, one of the most contemporary of your collection of books, and go outside.

Your Mother Grub Lusus provides quite decent shade in the blazing Alternian sun. She is such a good a cooperative lusus! She flies you to and from all your dig sites, and even helps you tow back some of the larger artifacts from your digs. In turn, you promised her that you would take care of her, and eventually ensure her brood. In turn, sometimes your friends tend to come to you with all their problems, seeing you as some sort of motherly figure. Apparently, this is a sort of task that Jade bloods in the past have taken up with pride, so you begrudgingly take it up as well.

Oh great. This dude, again? He’s always pestering you.l

show spoiler

hide spoiler

--columbosAgricola [cA] began trolling archaeicAdventurer [aA]—
CA: aradia
CA: aradia are yyou even ththere
CA: oh ccome on
CA: jjust answer mmme already
CA: plplease
AA: fine eridan what ever could thou want with me this time?
CA: I jjust need somebody to talk to
CA: somebody whwho isn’t so fuckin excited all the ffuckin time
AA: oh i see
AA: thou hast become tired of thy moirail yet again?
CA: whwhat no
CA: ffefs the bbest ththing that’s ever hhappened to me
CA: i’m jjust a bbit nnervous and shshe ain’t ttoo good on calmin the nnerves
AA: what about?
CA: ththis game you ttold me about
CA: im kkinda dreadin it
CA: i mmean hell if the entire wworld’s gonna end whwhy aren’t wwe
CA: and also i mmean i’m lucky I hhaven’t been ccculled yet
CA: how the hell am i gonna ssurvive this ggame
AA: thou wilt be fine eridan
CA: yyou always ssay that
CA: and i ththank you ffor it
CA: bbut I’m just wonderin how the hell a ccripple like mes gonna plplay the game
AA: there will be a waye
AA: trust in the powers that be to provide thee with all that thou wilt need
CA: yyou mmean those vvoices you kkeep hearin
AA: well yes them but also in the greater forces that watch over us all
CA: you mmean like gods an fffairies an stuff ar you knknow they ddon’t exist
CA: it’s a nnice cconcept but they’re just fake
AA: oh cheere up eridan
CA: yyeah whwhatever
CA: ar it’s hard
CA: bbein a ccripple
AA: it is hard and no one understands
AA: i know eridan i know
AA: i suppose I will see thee once we have all entered into the game
CA: yyeah
CA: wwait
CA: hhave the tteams been decided
AA: oh righte
AA: to be completelie honest i had forgotten about those
AA: though i imagine thy kismesis will not reste until her opinion has been expressed
CA: yyeah that’s what I’m wworried about
CA: she’s probably goin to try an establish some ssort of bblood supperiority in the teams
AA: that would be just like her
CA: hhey ar
AA: yes eridan?
CA: wwwould you mmind bein on a ttteam wwith me
AA: i
AA: of course eridan i dare say I will gladlie be on thy team
CA: ththanks
CA: okay so wwwe got me an you an fef cause hhhell if she’s not cccomin with us
AA: i will trie and see who i can convince to joine us eridan
AA: just be calm
AA: i will handle things
CA: ththanks ar you’re a rrreal pal
AA: i trie eridan i trie
--colombosAgricola [CA] ceased trolling archaeicAdventurer [AA]--

Oh blast it all what now? How on earth could this guy be trolling you?

show spoiler

hide spoiler

thespianCadaver [tC] began haunting archaeicAdventurer [aA]
TC: hell0 aradia
TC: h0nk
AA: sakes alive gamzee what ever could thou want
AA: i had believed thee to be deade!
TC: it aint n0 thing
TC: best n0t t0 w0rry ab0ut that it w0uld make things easier
AA: well if thou art a spectre i suppose it would suite thee
AA: given thy abilitie to commune with those grimme spirits
AA: or mayhaps thou were saved by those miracles thee speaketh so much aboute
AA: egads
AA: gamzee if all this time this was one of thy jests i will be quite angrie with thee
TC: h0nk n0
TC: im n0t making sh0nk many j0kes n0wadays
AA: what a bloodie shame!
AA: i rather enjoyed thy jokes
TC: im sure y0u did
AA: could thou telle one for me?
TC: wait h0ld 0n im getting h0nkff track
AA: please?
TC: 0kay
TC: why did the cluckbeast cr0ss the r0ad
AA: pray tell why?
TC: cause the h0wlbeast was dragging it by the neck t0 feed t0 its starving br00d
AA: um
AA: oh deare that is simplie dreadful
AA: thine stories leave something to be desired nowadays
TC: i d0nt really care
AA: that is poppycock and thou knowest it thou simplie adore comedie
TC: that was a while ag0 aradia
TC: ive had 0ther things t0 wh0nkrry ab0ut
TC: well n0t w0rry really
TC: m0re imp0rtant things are at stake thats all
AA: oh really now?
TC: yes and i need y0u t0 help a br0ther 0ut
TC: me and equius are in the middle 0f y0ur desert
AA: equius and i
TC: yeah
TC: but this m0therh0nker l00ks ready t0 pass 0ut any sec0nd n0w
AA: and thou wish for me to come to your rescue
TC: well I d0nt need anything
TC: its a bit late f0r that
AA: thou hast taken a turn for the cryptic latelie
TC: aint n0 thing d0nt w0rry ab0ut it
TC: all im saying is that equius might be s0me rainbh0nkw drinker f00d if he d0esnt end up burning t0 death first
AA: oh deare
AA: Where Are You In Relation To My Hive
AA: Im Dropping The Olden Speeche This Is Far More Important Than I Thought
TC: ab0ut a few clicks n0rth
AA: Ill Be Right There
--archaeicAdventurer [AA] ceased responding—

You have a very important job to do! You don your ADVENTURING FEDORA (very fashionable) and run downstairs. Fire it up, Mom, we have someone to save!

[……..]

Several frantic minutes later, you come across the passed out form of one EQUIUS ZAHHAK in the scorching desert sands. You’re pretty sure you saw a few rainbow drinkers over the hills, so you draw out your trusty WHIP just in case. Although one wouldn’t think it, whips are surprisingly appropriate weapons for dealing with blood-sucking undead. After a few minutes, it becomes apparent that the infernal creatures aren’t coming any closer to you. You turn your attention to the body.

Equius’ body is surprisingly light for a male troll. You were expecting a bit of difficulty in lifting him up, especially with his body limp and scorched, but he actually went up pretty easil- oh.

It is then that you notice the blood that has stained his shirt almost all the way through. It’s caked on his shoes, in his hair, and covers his hands as well. It’s a MiRaClE that Equius is still alive. At least, you hope he’s still alive. It would be simply awful if he died under your care or you couldn’t save him in time. Your lusus is flying as fast as she can to your hive, but what if you don’t make it back? And plus, despite all his self-hate, you guess Equius isn’t that bad of a guy. You guess. You certainly have absolutely no feelings towards him. No, you certainly have never, ever fantasized him and his mysterious gray symbol and his mysterious gray blood as one of those mysterious Troll Victorian era gentlemen, such as Troll Mr. Rochester.

Only now, you have finally discovered his terrible, terrible secret! No, he hasn’t kept his crazed matesprit locked up in his attic for the past few years, but rather, he has blood of a cherry red variety. It’s a nice color, you suppose. It doesn’t quite remind you of the old rusting relics that you spend most of your time in, and it’s a little bit too bright for your tastes. Not that you have any. Fashion is kind of hard when you’re an archaeologist! But enough of that. You guide your Mother down towards your hive, and then drag Equius into your hive and into your respiteblock.

You lie Equius down in your recuperacoon, and let out a sigh. It’s going to be a long night.

A/N

show spoiler

hide spoiler

I'm not entirely happy with Eridan's handle. It translates to Columbus' (Spanish conqueror, seeing as Tavros has a spanish theme to his trolltag) farm, which is basically directly parallel to Eridan's old handle, and deals with Tavros' animal affinity. Also, his quirk is not him drawing out the sounds, but him stuttering on them instead. Brown!Eridan has a few confidence issues too.

Also, I am no professional in early modern english. If you have corrections, please tell me them.

[nullifiedExistence]

So it's been awhile since I did any creative writing, really, and I've just started up again in the past week or so. This particular idea has been kicking around in my head for awhile, and this is the first part of it. I figured I'd post it and see what people think.

...and what comes after (Chapter 1)

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Rage.


It flowed up and in, welling up from her insides like bile, making her nerves tingle and her muscles shake. It mixed with hate, platonic and pure, to create a sensation that was unique and vibrant and
perfect
in every conceivable way: hot as fire and cold as ice, every inch of her felt
alive
in a way that she had never known. She felt it welling up in her throat, felt it slamming into the ends of her limbs, felt the heat rush to her face and she could hear it screaming for blood and death and rip and tear and maim and destroy and kill and kill and kill and kill and
KILL
and it wasn't the rage, it was
her
she was the one who wanted it, who needed it, who needed to feel his blood dripping through her fingers and running down her claws and to pull out his insides and play with them and wrap herself in her entrails like yarn and to
PROTECT
the one who could not protect himself and to
DESTROY
the one who would destroy.

She felt herself drift into a haze, colorless and blurred. Every nerve was screaming to attack, and how could she do anything but comply? How could she deny the demands that were made by every instinct, by every part of her, down to the very core of her being?

No battle cry escaped her throat save for a hiss of pure hate.

She attacked, leaping from her hiding place in a flash. She could almost taste his blood on her lips, could almost feel his flesh tearing under her claws, almost – almost – almost. But not enough. He was nigh unto a
god
a paragon of death, an artist of the colors that bloomed at his touch, a worker of miracles, a painter of rainbows to the sublime delight of he that beheld them and knew their worth.

It was over before she knew what had happened. He had turned, impossibly fast, in an instant – and he had grabbed her
-SNAP-
and she did not have time to scream, did not have time to feel pain, did not have time to understand what happened, to understand how she had so utterly failed. The bones in her wrist had
crumbled
like crackers, like glass, like nothing, and he ground the shards together as he dragged her claws across his face and laughed. He
laughed
and she
screamed
as the pain broke through the barrier of rage and she crumpled to the floor and she saw the corpse of the one who needed her and it was
too late
and she couldn't help him and she couldn't help herself and she couldn't help anyone.

Helpless.

Fear blossomed and expanded, filling her mind with a panic so complete that she could do nothing. Everything seemed to... slow, to fill with endless time, as her mind screamed at her louder and louder to run to fight to do something anything but she couldn't move she couldn't think she could only watch. She could only close her eyes and let a tear fall and she could only think "I'm sorry" as the
fear
darkened the world. She could only wait for the inevitable.

She heard his footsteps, could hear her body's panic – hyperventilation and the slamming of her heart against her ribs like it was trying to escape – she could hear the whisper-quiet drone of machines and the bubbling of vats and that sound of an object moving through the air and then the world


E


X


P


L


O


D


E


D


into ever-expanding fractals of pain, every nerve in her body alive and screaming. She heard a
CRACK
and she heard a
THUMP
and she could
feel
her skull shatter like glass, and bright, swirling, sparkling spangles of light filled her vision for a brief instant and a ringing filled the entirety of her hearing and then
nothing
and she couldn't
breathe
and she couldn't
hear
and she couldn't
see
and she couldn't
feel
anything except a sensation of animal panic, the feeling of an animal trapped with no way out, trapped inside herself, pounding and screaming and thrashing and ripping at the bars of a cage which couldn't be broken as the pain got worse and worse and she couldn't...
think
... anymore...

except for...

*

*

*

*

*

*

no

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

and she was falling and falling and there was nothing around there was just


nothing


an endless void, and she was screaming but no sound was there and she was falling forever, and everything seemed to get more and more distant, even herself from herself, and there was light but it was fading and she knew without knowing that when it faded, everything was done. She didn't want to stop, she wanted to keep going, she wanted to fight, she wanted to escape and live, and then...

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

o b l i v i o n

*

*


*

*

She gasped in a gulp of air in blind panic, her heart racing, her limbs thrashing and grabbing at the slick walls of her recuperacoon as the thick slime popped and bubbled around her. A scream gurgled in her throat as her head swiveled in the dim light of the setting sun that filtered in through the top. Her lungs burned and her head
ached
and she had to
GET OUT where was she what was happening help help HELP HELP SOMEONE PLEASE
but she couldn't talk and she
pushed
and the recuperacoon tipped over, spilling her and its slime across the smooth stone. She clawed at the floor, the world spinning, her eyes aching as she looked around at the... cave?

A wave of cold air washed over her. She was naked and unprotected, covered in slime, gasping for breath like she hadn't breathed in sweeps, and frightened out of her mind – though she was starting to calm down. Rationality started to creep back into her mind, allowing her to finally thinkbeyond panic, allowing her to recognize her hive and that she wasn't falling anymore.

"Just a dream," she whispered, shivering as she curled up tightly on the unyielding floor, wrapping her arms around her knees. "Just a dream. Just a dream." Maybe if she believed it hard enough, it would become true. Her entire body was starting to ache dully, her eyes hurt, her lungs hurt, her stomach hurt, her head was pounding with agony in time with her heartbeat and everything was just hurtingand she didn't understand why.

She placed her face on her knees and let the tears come and they made the pain a little better. They flowed out with her heaving, gasping, body-shaking sobs, translucent and green. In seconds, a familiar set of tongues was licking at her worriedly, and a comforting paw was pressing against her horns as that nose she knew so well pushed against her back. Her heart leapt into her throat –Pounce is alive!!- and she boggled at the thought, of course Pounce was alive, Pounce was always alive, she was the pawssibly the most purrfect lusus in the world! Why would Pounce be dead? Why was she crying, again? Something about a nightmare? The pain was already fading, and a sense of relief settled into its place. Everything was going to be okay.

She sniffed loudly and wetly, trying to catch her breath as she turned to confront the white purrbeast currently prodding her in concern. "Hi Pounce," she said with a forced smile, her swollen eyes and the green stains on the wet slime covering her face betraying her previous state. "I'm... I'll be okay, you can go back to sleep." First, though, she reached out a slime-slick hand to rub her lusus behind the ears, eliciting a happy, rumbling purr in response.

She slowly uncurled and stood up wobbly, hand braced against the wall, until she slipped and fell back down on her knee. She sucked in a breath between clenched teeth as pain ran up her leg and exhaled a "fuck" slowly before trying once again, finally regaining her footing. Another draft of cool air washed over her, making her shiver and her skin prickle. She crossed her arms and rubbed them together, gritting her teeth as she tried to get warm. She needed to get some clothes on – but first, she needed to get this slime off.

Pounce settled back against the back wall, licking her paws as she watched her charge stagger deeper into the cave.

*

*

She finally started to relax as the warm water ran over her gray skin. The sopor slime sluiced off her skin without much fuss, though getting it out of her hair required a bit more effort. That really just involved rubbing it with her hands until it felt clean enough. She was clean, but she was unnerved – she slid down and sat beneath the spray of water, focusing on controlling her breathing with closed eyes. It was okay. Everything would be okay. It was a new night, and she could play with her lusus and talk to her friends, and maybe do some roleplay with Terezi again if she wasn't busy with FLARP (a brief jolt of jealousy skittered across the surface of her mind) and everything would turn out fine.

She smiled and relaxed fully, stretching out and cracking her joints. She could feel her energy and happiness coming back, and it was a relief. Nightmares were bad, and she didn't usually have them, and it was kind of scary but she was gonna be okay. She could handle this, she was tough, and she was strong, just like her meowrail. She was a fighter and her meowrail was the strongest even if sometimes he was kind of creepy. A bizarre pang of fear and pain flashed in her mind as she thought of him, and she winced involuntarily. A brief panic welled up before realizing it was unnecessary, and it settled back down.

The effect was disturbing, though – why had she just felt that? She couldn't think of anything bad that had happened, and he was doing okay last night even if he was being kind of a jerk about her wanting to FLARP with Terezi. A renewed, scowling pout replaced her smile as she crossed her arms and sulked by her lonesome. Terezi had so much fun with it and her meowrail was just a jerk and he kept saying she couldn't do it with her even though Terezi wanted her to and said it was fun! She's good at fighting, she can handle it!

A sigh escaped her throat as her head tilted back against the edge of the ablution trap. She stared at the ceiling and tried to think of ways to convince him it was okay. He kept saying it was his "duty" as her meowrail to keep her out of danger but it wasn't like it was actually dangerous, it was just a fun game! Who cares if Vwhiskers was dangerous? She was dangerous, too! Besides, Vwhiskers knew that they were meowrails, and she was kind of scared of Equius, so she wouldn't dare, even if she was a blueblood.

Hmph!

She turned the water off with a nimble foot and hopped out of the ablution trap, giving herself a vigorous shake and an energetic towel rub. The clothes pile provided her garb, and as she pulled that green trench coat around her shoulders and tugged her claw gloves over her fingers, she finally felt secure. Running her hand through her damp hair a few times served as styling, leaving it messy and loose before she tugged her blue pelt hat over it.

Her stomach rumbled, and her thoughts turned towards food, forgetting the troubles of the past half-hour. There should be some meat left on the kill from a couple nights ago, unless Pounce was dumb and ate it all again. Pounce was a good kitty but sometimes she just ate too much! She should check and make sure, it would probably be cold outside later and she didn't really want to go and hunt tonight.

With youthful exuberance, she bounded around the corner and checked on the torn-open corpse splayed out across the cave floor. Yes, there was definitely some meat left, especially on the legs. The organs and steaks were gone on the first day, of course, between her lusus and her – those were the best parts! It made all the effort worth it when she ripped open a beast's belly and sunk her teeth into a fresh, juicy kidney or heart, the blood spraying across her face and clothes, leaving her laughing and dripping with the red substance as she reveled in the taste of life forcibly removed.

Pounce was already helping herself to the remainder, though, and the young troll knew she'd have to cut in to get her share. A playful tackle and tickle-attack later, she was tangled up with Pounce and giggling loudly as the purrbeast licked at her face. Her breath smelled like blood and rotted meat, which just made her stomach rumble even more.

"Stoooop!" she managed to blurt out as she playfully pushed at the purrbeast's head and squirmed under her paws, laughing all the while.

The two tongues, pink and dry, tugged at her smooth gray skin and made it tingle. She had tried to do the same to Pounce when she was younger, but got nothing but hair in her mouth. So gross! She gave her lusus a tight hug and a kiss on the nose, instead, before she disentangled herself and grasped a leg from the hoofbeast. One sharp tug and it was off, the troll not waiting before sinking her sharp teeth into it and tearing off a chunk of flesh.

As Pounce resumed her two-jawed attack on another of the hoofbeast's legs, Nepeta snuggled in against her furry side and looked over the 'shipping wall. Its maintenance was a laborious task, requiring considerable relationship acumen and asking clever questions of her furiends, but it was well worth it. Keeping track of quadrants was impurrtant work, after all, and someone had to do it! She tore another chunk of raw meat and skin off of the bones, tilting her head thoughtfurry as she chewed, the oozing remains of candy-red blood mixed with saliva dripping down her chin and onto her chest.

She contemplated the crude drawing of Sollux and Aradia, a diamond drawn between them - meowrallegiance. It had seemed like such a sure thing, but lately her confursations with them had been giving off distinct vibes of the flushed purrsuasion! This was quite a conundrum, and she needed more infurmation before she could say fur sure, but she knew they'd make the cutest couple! A thrill ran up her spine at the thought of it. It was tempting to maybe push them a little bit towards it, but no! She had to stay objective in order to maintain the integrity of the wall.

A brief, keening noise startled her out of her reverie, making her drop the leg. Her head swiveled towards the sound – it was her drawing tablet computer, indicating someone was trolling her. She hopped over Pounce's back and scooped it up deftly, tapping it with the stylus to see who it was.

It was Feferi! She was always fun to talk to, although she didn't really roleplay. But she was still always so excited about things, just like her, and she didn't get flustered when she told Feferi about her hunting stories, like her meowrail always did. She settled back down against Pounce and curled up, ready to divulge the great story of her past hunt to the heir to the throne! So exciting!

Yes, this would be a good night after all.

Nepeta Leijon was just over five sweeps old, she had a cool hive and the best lusus and the most purrfect furiends anyone could pawssibly ask for and her life was good. Even though tonight felt a little... weird, like she had the strangest sense of deja vu, only barely noticeable, even though she couldn't imagine why or how. How purrculiar.

[battlerek]

@Rimbaum- Haha, that's what I thought when I made him Fedora Freak. I considered placing a lot of characters in Freak's personage, including Bro actually. You'll find out soon enough.

@Path- The first one is a typo. The second one is as of this moment a retroactive chekov's gun(hurray for retcons!)

[champlooCanti]

First post in any Art Forum, EVER
welp.
Here's an incredibly silly idea for an AU i had, which borrows heavily from the Boondocks. If anyone is interested i will see about expanding it to more than a paraphrase from Huey Freeman.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

TG: that night i dreamed of a blind swordswoman
TG: she knows every fuckin move i got even though she can't see
TG: i'm trying to make sense of this complete bullshit
TG: but she turns my sight into
TG: idk
TG: a big glowing weak spot with a stab me sign on it
TG: she's got no reason to want my blood
TG: there's no prices or values behind this shit
TG: this isn't just any killer
TG: this is the blind troll samurai
GC: WH4T'S GOOD, COOLK1D???
GC: WH4T'S R34LLY GOOD???
GC: H3H3H3 >:]
TG: oh my hell just
TG: stop

edit: it contains dave and his trademark foul mouth. (no racial slurs though.) i hope that isn't against the rules!

[Graven_Image]

If it's in the comic proper, it's not against the rules.

That's pretty good, too.

[lucidSeraph]

If it's in the comic proper, it's not against the rules.

That's pretty good, too.

Wait

by that logic we could post trashy pirate erotica :|a

[DJ-P0N3]

If it's in the comic proper, it's not against the rules.

That's pretty good, too.

Wait

by that logic we could post trashy pirate erotica :|a

Really?
Sweet!
I can finally post this MindfangXRed Glare fic!
No wait....nevermind.

[lucidSeraph]

If it's in the comic proper, it's not against the rules.

That's pretty good, too.

Wait

by that logic we could post trashy pirate erotica :|a

Really?
Sweet!
I can finally post this MindfangXRed Glare fic!
No wait....nevermind.

i'd read that

[Triangle Man]

If it's in the comic proper, it's not against the rules.

That's pretty good, too.

Wait

by that logic we could post trashy pirate erotica :|a

Some rules were not made to be broken.

Also, I should mention that I continue to enjoy just about every story in this thread. Keep up the good work guys.

[DJ-P0N3]

Really?
Sweet!
I can finally post this MindfangXRed Glare fic!
No wait....nevermind.

i'd read that

Now I wish I had actually written that!
:I
Welp.
Back to writing Tavros killing everyone

[Decker]

Really?
Sweet!
I can finally post this MindfangXRed Glare fic!
No wait....nevermind.

i'd read that

Now I wish I had actually written that!

I'm working on one. Very slowly.
Well if by "X" you mean "Tries to kill" but with trolls it's a fuzzy distinction.

[Path]

@Path- The first one is a typo. The second one is as of this moment a retroactive chekov's gun(hurray for retcons!)

Yesssss I feel so smart as if I caught that or something :P

Also Bro + fedora = even more cool? Possible Y/N?

[The Cool]

Vitrolstuck

show spoiler

hide spoiler

SCREW YOU IM GONNA GO STAB THINGS
fuck you then im gonna pirate your grist and blow it all on candy
IM GONNA BUILD
ONE LADDER
ALL THE WAY TO YOUR FIRST GATE
when gabby gets in im gonna prototype a picture of your mom just to turn all the imps into hideous pieces of shit
...HAVE FUN TAKING A SHIT WITH NO TOILET
oh fuck

[battlerek]

@Path- The first one is a typo. The second one is as of this moment a retroactive chekov's gun(hurray for retcons!)

Yesssss I feel so smart as if I caught that or something :P

Also Bro + fedora = even more cool? Possible Y/N?

I haven't actually decided what Bro's role in the story would be, as I am running out of cool characters from PS to merge with him (perhaps GPI?).

And I'm hoping you'd start writing PS fics again soon. I need hard-boiled fics as a vital nutritious supplement to my literary diet. Man cannot live on shipping fics alone.

[Graven_Image]

Welp, this is my first significant piece of HS-related fiction in who knows how long. Here goes.

What Now?

show spoiler

hide spoiler

HJ: jim
HJ: jiiiim!
HJ: oh god jim
HJ: oh god oh god
FL: Yeah, I'm here
FL: What is it
HJ: oh god jim
HJ: jim theyre
HJ: jim the quake hit and i wasn't fast enough i couldn't save them oh god
HJ: oh god jim what do i do
HJ: what do i do
FL: Your parents
FL: ?
HJ: oh goooood
HJ: the ceiling caved and
HJ: ohgod theres red everywhere
FL: First off, stop saying "Oh God"
FL: I find it offensive
HJ: but jim its
HJ: theyre

horticulturalJanitor is now an idle chum!

FL: Alright, pick up the phone
FL: And stop blubbering
HJ: jim
HJ: i cant
FL: LISTEN.
FL: All our parents are dead
FL: Karen, Linda, and all the rest
FL: We're all on our own
HJ: nooooo
HJ: jim i cant
HJ: they
HJ: cant be
HJ: cant be
HJ: dead
HJ: i loved them
FL: You think I didn't love my dad
FL: ?
FL: We all got hit hard by it, but we can't stop
HJ: I CANT KEEP GOING DAMN IT
HJ: MY PARENTS ARE DEAD
HJ: SCREW YOU
HJ: DONT TELL ME I CANT STOP
FL: Harry, I need you to hit yourself
FL: Right now
HJ: ow
HJ: ok im a bit calmer now
HJ: but jim
HJ: my mom and dad are
FL: YES I KNOW
FL: Stop thinking about it
FL: Try to laugh it off or something
HJ: youre kidding me
HJ: laugh it off
HJ: thats not funny at all
FL: I'm not joking
FL: Stop thinking about it
FL: We'll have plenty of time for psychotic breakdowns when we've won
FL: until then we can't let anything affect us
FL: So: we laugh.
FL: Simple
HJ: what if i dont wanna laugh huh
HJ: what if ive just realized how particularly full of it you are
HJ: what then
FL: If you don't laugh, you'll have to start crying
FL: And after that, it's only a matter of time before you start screaming
FL: Because this game is fundamentally screwed up on every conceivable level
FL: And trying to wrap your mind around that is a sure path to going absolutely BATS***
HJ: so
HJ: im just
HJ: supposed to
FL: You're supposed to grit your teeth and bear it
FL: Sorry if you'd rather kneel by a pile of rubble wearing sackcloth and ashes but we've got a universe to save
FL: You can cry all you like when you're the god of rain or whatever
HJ: youre an ass jim
FL: That's why I'm leader.
FL: Now get up.

facelessLaborer ceased pestering horticulturalGardener

[champlooCanti]

Here's the intro for Blind Troll Samurai, and by intro i mean "a rough brain-to-paper ficpuke in which i write the first thing that pops into my head and stop when i run out of ideas."
Hopefully there will be epic swordfights soon. For now, there is only this crap that ends super abruptly.

Blind Troll Samurai

show spoiler

hide spoiler

It’s autumn in the Japanese Incipisphere and Jade Harley is a waitress at the Vehement Steed Tea Parlor on Japanese LOLCAT. Today is a pretty regular day for her—carapaces are coming in and sitting down, and she’s bringing them chameowmile tea and horsefeather biscuits, the two specialties of the house.

Jade knows most of the regular customers. There’s a Prospitian who meets his secret Dersite mistress here, and a bunch of high schoolers who gorge themselves on little cube cookies after school, and some other folks who aren't interesting. But today there’s a new face. A face hidden behind cool shades. Jade skips up to this cool customer’s table with her goofiest grin.

“Hi there! Welcome to the Vehement Steed!”
“Sup.”

Silence.

“Er—would you like to try our chameowmile tea?”
“Nah.”

More silence. Jade notices a katana and wakizashi on the bench next to this cool customer. He must be a samurai. Too cool. But cool or not, the Vehement Steed’s seating is for paying customers only!

“Do you want anything?”
“Nah.”
“Umm. So why are you here?”
“What’s the difference?”
“Well, this is a place where you get food and drinks—and you don’t want either—so why are you here?”
“I’m waiting for someone.”
“Umm, okay I guess!”

Jade scratches her head and finds another table to wait on. Some people are too cool for their own good. She collects some dirty dishes and takes them back to the kitchen, where Nepeta and Equius are brewing up tea and baking biscuits. The kitchen always smells like sweat.

“Miss Harley. E%cuse my request, but tell me who that dangerous-100king individual in the sunglasses is,” Equius says. “He makes me quite—uneasy.”

The sweaty smell gets a little stronger.

“I don’t know! He seems like a samurai or something, but he won’t order anything! Should I tell him to leave, Mr. Zahhak?”
“Perhaps it w001d be an advisable course of a%ion. I do despise violent types. They are so e%quisitely depraved.”
“And bad fur business too!”

Nepeta turns from the stove with a fresh pot of tea and passes Equius one of his many towels.

“Remember that blind samurai who was in here last week? She nearly turned the place into a hairball! We should have a no samurai pawlicy.”

Continue y/n?

[Path]

And I'm hoping you'd start writing PS fics again soon. I need hard-boiled fics as a vital nutritious supplement to my literary diet. Man cannot live on shipping fics alone.

I definitely want to. This coming week is the last week of school for me so then I can stop spending 40+ hours in the shop a week making jewellery and get back to writing silly stories about fictional stick-figure detectives. In a great career move.

Also Bro + Hinduism (+ Omnipresence) = More Cool Y/N?

[SkaianRedeemer]

@Rebbe and Jim Groovester: Thanks to you both! Hits on A03 show that Squiddles don't really draw a crowd (shocking, I know!) so it's good to get actual feedback to know if I'm botching or not.

In a fit of free time I caught up partially on Sapphire of Alternia, read Swimming with Sharks and Graven's What Now? ! Now I will never have free time again. But anyways...:

@Jim: Still got it, still excited to be reading, still not caught up!

@Rebbe: I remember this prompt! I wonder how I missed the fill? You handled it just like I would have hoped. Poor Terezi, she seems completely lost!

@Graven: It's an interesting character piece, I would like to see more of it, if that's your plan. Otherwise, it still stands well on its own!

[Paul]

Crossposting from MSPAChan.

Seriously, Alternia should be played during reading.

After The Battle

show spoiler

hide spoiler

(Play Alternia while you read this.)

They did it. Jesus fuck knew how, but they did it. It took the strong leadership of Karkat, the valiant attack of teammates, and a stupidly lucky roll from a huge bitch, but they did it. At long last, the Black King monstrosity fell. The reward was theirs. As the Beastly Kraken fell into the abyss, slowly, ever so slowly, a tired Vriska Sekret collected her dice from the ground in front of her. “EIGHT EIGHTS? HOLY FUCK, VRISKA, WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM?” The girl with all the luck just turned around and gave a cocky smirk. “Really, now, Kaaaaaaaarkat? Did you really expect any different?” She gave an exhausted laugh as she placed her Fluoride Octet back in her strife deck, hopefully for the last time.

Karkat could only maintain his scowl for a short amount of time, before his sense of joy overwhelmed him and he was forced to crack a smile. “YOU’RE A LUCKY BITCH, YOU KNOW THAT?”

She just maintained her smirk. “Well, duuuuuuuuh. I do have all the lu-“

“NO, SHUT THE FUCK UP, WE ARE NOT DOING THIS. YOU’VE BEEN MAKING BULLSHIT JOKES LIKE THAT FOR TWO WEEKS STRAIGHT, AND I AM OVER IT.”

The troll with the 8-fold vision just rolled her eyes. “Wh8teeeeeeeever, Karkat. You know it’s true, though.”

Meanwhile, on another part of the platform, a kitten in a blue hood sat, licking her wounds while an exhausted Tavros and a sweaty Equius sat next to her, breathing heavily after the stress of the battle. “wOW, i CAN’T BELIEVE wE ACTUALLY, dID THAT,” said the bewildered Tavros.

“:33 < *ac is really impurressed by all her furrends and thinks that efurrbody did their absolute best!*” an equally bewildered and exhausted Nepeta narrated her feelings about the battle.

“D--> Nepeta you got in my way constantly during the battle” the ever pragmatic and concerned meowrail I mean moirail Equius quipped.

“( < paw come on equius!” The kitten moirail I mean meowrail frowned at Equius as he said that.

“yEAH, uHH, eQUIUS THAT ISN’T REALLY, uHH, fAIR” Tavros added, defending his friend.

“D--> ...” Finally, Equius’ STRONG veneer broke as he began crying, his hands in his face. “D--> I nearly lost you Nepeta D--> I couldn’t live without you” he cried, recalling the moment in which the Black King had her within the grasp of one of his many mouths, ready to eat her. Only a daring, last minute STRONG RESCUE saved her from her certain death.

Elsewhere, Terezi, Feferi and Eridan and Kanaya lay sprawled out next to each other, heaving. Their exhaustion was nearly absolute as they merely lay, not speaking, barely even thinking. Not to far away, Gamzee sat, cross legged, eyes closed. He only attacked the Black King once, but his attack did more damage than any other attack done during the whole battle. When he performed his attack, there was a loud whoosh, and the Black King actually screamed. It was absolutely terrifying to everybody, who had not expected Gamzee to be capable of such attack.

After some small amount of time, it was Kanaya who finally noticed the large house-shaped building with the door in it. “Um Everybody Not To Alarm You But” she said in an attempt to get everybody’s attention.

Everybody looked over to Kanaya, and then the building. “X33 < what is that?” a confused Nepeta asked.

“HOLY SHIT, GUYS.” The candy-red blooded troll said with a certain sense of realization.

“what the fuck kk are you 2ayiing you know what the fuck that thiing iis”

“yes karkat plase elab0rate s0 that the rest 0f us may attempt t0 understand” “ribbit”

“WELL IF YOU GUYS WHOULD SHUT YOUR PROTEIN CHUTES FOR TWO FUCKING SECONDS-“

“COM3 ON K4RK4T T311 US >”

“JESUS FUCK.” Karkat was getting flustered. “DON’T YOU GET IT? THAT’S OUR FUCKING REWARD.”

“bullshit kar are you saying wwe get a glubbing house”

“S)(ut your fis)(y trap, Grumpygills! )(e’s gonna tell us!”

“REMEMBER THAT UNIVERSE THAT KANAYA CREATED WITH BILIOUS SLICK?”

“uHH, wHAT UNIVERSE,”

“TAVROS, SHUT THE FUCK UP. ANYWAY, THAT UNIVERSE... I WOULD BET MY FUCKING BONE BULGE THAT THAT DOOR LEADS TO IT.”
There was silence as the other eleven trolls looked at their leader. Most of them seemed to understand what this meant, save one.

“aW, sHiT, sO tHe ReWaRd WaSnT fAyGo?” A disappointed Gamzee frowned.

“NO, DIPSHIT, THE REWARD ISN’T FUCKING FAYGO. WE GET A UNIVERSE ALL TO OURSELVES. A UNIVERSE FOR THE TWELVE OF US TO DO WHATEVER THE FUCK WE WANT. BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, WE GET TO START OUR RACE OUT FROM SCRATCH.”

There were several gasps of shocked understanding and many wide-eyed looks, especially from Vriska and Feferi.

“OMG T)(IS IS... T)(IS IS...... SOOOOOO ------------------------------------EXCITING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Feferi had long planned to change everything once she became Empress, but now it looked like things could change for the better much easily. Things would be so much different. The hemospectrum would be a thing of the past. Blood color would mean nothing.

At the same time, Vriska looked down and very nearly broke a smile. “We get... to start over. From the very 8eginning...”

A confused Tavros looked over at her. “uHH, vRISKA, wHY DO YOU LOOK SO, pENSIVE,”

She came out of her thoughts almost instantly. “Nothing important to you, Taaaaaaaavros.” Vriska smiled and winked at him.

“ANYWAY, WE NEED TO MAKE A DECISION. WHO WANTS TO OPEN THE DOOR?”

A robotic Aradia stepped forward. “I w0uld be 0kay with being the 0ne t0 0pen the d00r”

However, a certain troll who liked purrtend games had a different idea. “:33 < *ac thinks that karkitty should get to open the door!*”

Karkat winced at the nickname. “FUCK YOU NEPETA. DON’T CALL ME THAT.”

But the other trolls save Eridan, Gamzee, and Aradia murmured in agreement. Equius stated “D--> It makes sense that a leader as STRONG as yourself should help us % into a new world”

“Yes Our Leader Should Also Lead Us To Our New Lives”

Karkat could only watch, jaw hanging open as one by one, the rest of the trolls expressed their agreement that he be the one to open the door to their new lives. Even Eridan reluctantly agreed that it made sense.

“I, WOW. FUCK. YOU GUYS... YOU REALLY MEAN IT?” Most of the group nodded. “...THEN. I....FUCK. I GUESS I BETTER...” Karkat walked through the group to approach the door. The rest stood apprehensively as they watched, ready for him to open the door. “OKAY WELL... HERE IT GOES.”

“g0 0n karkat y0u can d0 it”

“yEAH, gO kARKAT,”

“thii2 ii2 fuckiing awe2ome”

“:33 < *ac believes in mew karkitty!”

“Go On Karkat”

“H3H3H3 TH1S SM3LLS L1K3 V1CTORY”

“........”

“D--> We were all strong”

“this better be fuckin awwesome”

“----E-E-E I’M SO -----EXCIT---ED!!!!!”

“JESUS FUCK WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP, I’M OPENING THE DAMN
THING NOW.” Their leader took a deep breath, and reached forward toward his, his species’, and his friends’ future.

[draconicAlgorithm]

Now I wish I had actually written that!
:I
Welp.
Back to writing Tavros killing everyone

I hope that isn't a joke. Because I really want to see that now.

Like, you have no idea.

(Yeah I'll come back and read things when I'm not on my friend's laptop. xD)

[DJ-P0N3]

Now I wish I had actually written that!
:I
Welp.
Back to writing Tavros killing everyone

I hope that isn't a joke. Because I really want to see that now.

Like, you have no idea.

(Yeah I'll come back and read things when I'm not on my friend's laptop. xD)

Tavros current kill count; Sollux, Kanaya

If thats any indication
Its still early on

[Decker]

Here's the intro for Blind Troll Samurai, and by intro i mean "a rough brain-to-paper ficpuke in which i write the first thing that pops into my head and stop when i run out of ideas."
Hopefully there will be epic swordfights soon. For now, there is only this crap that ends super abruptly.

Blind Troll Samurai

show spoiler

hide spoiler

It’s autumn in the Japanese Incipisphere and Jade Harley is a waitress at the Vehement Steed Tea Parlor on Japanese LOLCAT. Today is a pretty regular day for her—carapaces are coming in and sitting down, and she’s bringing them chameowmile tea and horsefeather biscuits, the two specialties of the house.

Jade knows most of the regular customers. There’s a Prospitian who meets his secret Dersite mistress here, and a bunch of high schoolers who gorge themselves on little cube cookies after school, and some other folks who aren't interesting. But today there’s a new face. A face hidden behind cool shades. Jade skips up to this cool customer’s table with her goofiest grin.

“Hi there! Welcome to the Vehement Steed!”
“Sup.”

Silence.

“Er—would you like to try our chameowmile tea?”
“Nah.”

More silence. Jade notices a katana and wakizashi on the bench next to this cool customer. He must be a samurai. Too cool. But cool or not, the Vehement Steed’s seating is for paying customers only!

“Do you want anything?”
“Nah.”
“Umm. So why are you here?”
“What’s the difference?”
“Well, this is a place where you get food and drinks—and you don’t want either—so why are you here?”
“I’m waiting for someone.”
“Umm, okay I guess!”

Jade scratches her head and finds another table to wait on. Some people are too cool for their own good. She collects some dirty dishes and takes them back to the kitchen, where Nepeta and Equius are brewing up tea and baking biscuits. The kitchen always smells like sweat.

“Miss Harley. E%cuse my request, but tell me who that dangerous-100king individual in the sunglasses is,” Equius says. “He makes me quite—uneasy.”

The sweaty smell gets a little stronger.

“I don’t know! He seems like a samurai or something, but he won’t order anything! Should I tell him to leave, Mr. Zahhak?”
“Perhaps it w001d be an advisable course of a%ion. I do despise violent types. They are so e%quisitely depraved.”
“And bad fur business too!”

Nepeta turns from the stove with a fresh pot of tea and passes Equius one of his many towels.

“Remember that blind samurai who was in here last week? She nearly turned the place into a hairball! We should have a no samurai pawlicy.”

Continue y/n?

Not bad. I tried to do a samurai fic a few threads ago, but it bombed. You might have better luck than me.