And she took off. Terezi looked at her sword cane. It should have been stained with spidertroll's blood. But it wasn't. Because she couldn't. She let out a sigh that sounded in between tiredness and disappointment. Sheathing her weapon, she reached for Pyralspite. She held him up in front of her, his nose pressing against hers. She sighed again.
Pyralspite's silence was an understanding one. Though he did not do anything, he did manage to draw the tiniest of smiles from Terezi, who hugged him. He replied with a reassuring squeak.
"COM3 ON, L3T'S GO S33 WH4T K4RK4T 1S UP TO."
Going down a nearby flight of stairs, Gamzee walked away from the jury he had amassed, holding the hammer he had used as a gavel. It was very disappointing that the Legislacerator didn't go through with the execution. He would have to make an example out of her, to prevent something like this happening again. He slung the hammer over his shoulder, and went after her.
--
At least the honking had stopped. Not that it changed that much. The silence was much more terrifying. Karkat felt he was standing at the edge, staring down into insanity. Seeing Kanaya and Feferi getting killed was bad enough. But when he found Equius' and Nepeta's, especially Nepeta's, bodies, their headless bodies, he went into a hysterical fit that Sollux had to telekinetically beat him out of.
He was familiar with being afraid, being on the run, but that was nothing compared to this. His best friend had murdered nearly all of his other friends. They were on the run from a god. There was nothing left for them to go to. Who were left, anyway? Karkat himself. Sollux. Terezi.
Terezi...
If she was dead, Karkat would never forgive himself. He'd see that Sollux was safe, and go kill Gamzee himself, even if it meant his own death. He wouldn't care. If she would die before he could tell her he lo-
His train of thought was interrupted by the sound of a transportalizer. Karkat immediately let go of the blind Sollux he was guiding along, and grabbed his Regisickle with both hands. He nearly dropped it when he saw it was not Gamzee who had found them. It was Terezi. She sniffed.
"TH3R3 YOU GUYS 4R3. LOOK, W3 H4V3 4 B1T OF 4 PROBL3-OOF!"
She was interrupted when Karkat nearly tackled her off her feet, grabbing and holding her as tightly as he could.
"THANK GOG TEREZI YOU'RE STILL ALIVE. I THOUGHT GAMZEE HAD FOUND YOU AND... AND..."
Streams of cherry tears ran down his cheeks. Normally she would have made a snide remark, or relentlessly mock him for his sudden outburst, but she couldn't. Instead, she put her arms around him.
"TH3R3 TH3R3 YOU BLUBB3R1NG P4NSY."
Okay, she mocked him a little. Something should not change, even with impending doom. Letting go of her, Karkat opted to grab her hand instead, and drag her over to Sollux.
"TEREZI. WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE, RIGHT NOW, BEFORE GAMZEE FINDS US."
"WH4T DO YOU M34N? 1 4LR34DY FOUND H1M. D1DN'T S33M TH4T MUCH WRONG W1TH H1M."
"what?! y0u f0und him? and he didn't try t0 kill y0u 0r anything?"
Karkat's look shifted from relief to terror.
"HE LET YOU! HE LET YOU WALK AWAY TO FIND US! HE FOLLOWED YOU ALL THE WAY HERE!"
"well shit brother
AND HERE I WAS THINKING YOU WERE STUPID."
Gamzee stepped off the transportalizer, smashing it with the Warhammer of Zillyhoo. Karkat's face was frozen in a soundless scream. Sollux too looked terrified.
"you see brother
THIS LEGISLACERATOR OVER HERE DIDN'T DO WHAT SHE HAD TO DO
now the spiderbitch left the veil in search of jack
AND HE WILL FOLLOW HER TRAIL BACK"
Karkat turned to Terezi, his face frozen in terror.
"1 COULDN'T DO 1T. 1'M NOT L1K3 H3R, 1 DON'T 1MP4L3 P3OPL3 ON TH31R OWN W34PONS 4ND CHUCK TH3M OFF CL1FFS, L1K3 SH3 D1D TO T4VROS."
"aw shit, n0t tavr0s t00."
"in any case
WE HAVE NO NEED FOR A LEGISLACERATOR WHO CAN'T HANDLE A SIMPLE EXECUTION
and since jack is coming anyway
I THINK ILL KEEP THE HONOR TO MYSELF"
Gamzee walked up to Karkat. He walked to the side, keeping Terezi behind him and holding his weapon in front of him. Gamzee drove them in a corner, with the blind Sollux standing helplessly by the side.
"times up bro
NOT EVEN GOG CAN SAVE YOU NOW"
Which, or course, he did.
Gamzee grabbed his throat, purple blood seeping between his fingers. He fell on his side, looking up to the lightning-laced form of Bec Noir. Karkat screamed.
"hey assh0le!"
Noir turned to Sollux. He was shaking, a dark energy dripping over his arms, his eyes somehow glowing ink black.
"y0u killed aradia! and feferi! did y0u think id let y0u get away with that?!"
With a roar, Sollux punched his firsts forward, letting rip a wave of deadly energy. It punched straight through the wall, and the wall behind it, and the wall behind that. Everything caught in the blast was completely annihilated, and a blast of energy flew out of the veil into the dark of the furthest ring. If he still had his vision, Sollux could have seen two things. First he might have been able to catch a glimp of the endless dark of the furthest ring.
Second, he might have noticed that he missed Noir by about ten feet.
The demon lunged forward, putting his sword through the blind mr Captor, and lifted him above his head. With a swift cut to the side, he relieved his blade of its load, and Sollux of his life. His body unceremoniously laned with a wet thud.
Karkat jumped back as far as he could, pressing Terezi against a wall. He knew it was over, might as well go out with a bang.
"HEY ASSHOLE! IF YOU WANT TO GET TO TEREZI, YOU'LL HAVE TO GOthroughme..."
Bec Noir had teleported up to Karkat, and carried out his request. The blade went through him, through her, and into the wall. The ring on his hand began to glow, and green energy bursted from it, ripping the lab apart.
--
Far away, Vriska saw a green blast. She knew what it was. And it was her fault.
Green energy flashed behind her, and she heared something falling on the ground. She saw Bec Noir, covered in troll blood.
She saw Terezi and Karkat, covered in their own and each other's blood.
@FieryBlacksmith: Thank you, that is exactly what I needed to read. I am happy for the story to be progressing forward, but there are so many emotional moments being sacrificed at the feet of expediency it seems fanwork is ever more important to plug the gap. Especially decent work like that. Good show.
Anyway:
Not sure if this is the best place to be posting this. I am open to suggestions for where better to house a project of this nature. I had an idea for a shamelessly self-indulgent fan-session of Sburb, and having fleshed it out and steamed ahead a little, I've decided I'd like to roll with it and see how far I get.
Continentfettered: Part 1
The Preface Frustration Scrawls
averseNotary [AN] began pestering cleopatrasBard [CB]
AN: Hey.
AN: Hey Barty, I know you're there.
AN: Come on, don't tell me you've Forgotten.
CB: Oh hey adam!!!
CB: What you up to babes???
AN: Just Settling in actually.
AN: Finally signed the Lease for the room. Americans can be Inordinately stuffy about this sort of thing.
CB: What??? What took so long???
AN: Oh, same old same old.
AN: References, chasing Thereof. Negotiating deposits. Boring shit like that.
CB: So youre all set up??? Thats great!!!
AN: Well, Essentially. I still have to Enrol tomorrow.
CB: Have you met any of your coursemates yet???
AN: Not yet, no. An Invitation to some sort of Welcome Social has been Extended by the Post-Graduate Studies Administration. Probably will Pass it up.
CB: Whys that???
AN: Cashflow situation is rather less than Rosy at this particular Juncture.
CB: -_-
AN: Quite.
AN: How is Egypt, anyway? It seems like Months since you last Indulged my Inquiries about all your crazy haps.
CB: Omg you would not believe how hot it is right now!!! I have to have my ac on like 24/7 in the classroom its insane!!!
AN: I will duly take your Word for it.
AN: Are you Rocking the Effnik Garb in order to Ameliorate the Effects of Aforementioned Oppressive sunlight?
CB: Heehee!!! ^o^ Sooo effnik!!!
CB: Im actually wearing this gooorgeous hand-embroidered headscarf right now while im talking to you!!!
AN: I know, Celeste.
AN: How is Daryl?
CB: Visiting family -_-
AN: Oh? American or British?
CB: American ^_^
CB: Other coast to you though mores the pity!!!
AN: Yeah, that is a shame. It's been years since we last Clapped eyes on each other what with one thing and Another.
CB: Well what about me mister???
AN: Well, obviously you as well, Barty.
AN: Actually, that's one of the reasons why I wanted to get your Ear. I was talking to Whobes and one of his Customers told him about this Game they'd been working on.
AN: Oh Bugger...
CB: >_< Adam why do you always have to capitalise that???
CB: You always make me lose its so infuriating!!!
AN: Sorry Celeste. It keeps happening.
AN: I don't really think about the Upper case words. It just seems to come Naturally.
CB: -_-#
CB: Anyway what about this game???
AN: Well, Whobes and I miss the Role-playing we all did Together. Remember that Aberrant campaign?
CB: ^o^ How could i forget???
AN: How indeed.
AN: So yeah, Whobes was talking to this young Lady and she mentioned that this is like the most Immersive RPG ever or something. And it's a co-op.
AN: Whobes and I thought it would be Awesome if we could get the old Gang back together for a bash.
CB: What you and me and him and tina???
CB: How would we manage the time difference???
AN: I dunno. I'm sure we could Establish some sort of Compromise to everyone's agreement.
CB: Itd have to be a weekend or something i cant stay up too late on a school night!!!
AN: No problem. I wasn't Anticipating we play Tonight anyway. Burning the CDs alone takes like a whole day.
CB: Burning the cds???
AN: Yeah, Apparently the Game will only run off a CD for some reason.
CB: >_< Adam you did it agaaain!!!
AN: Oh. Sorry.
CB: Well ok...What do i have to do???
AN: Whobes should've sent you a link. You can Initiate the Download from there. Then you just need to burn the Files to a couple of CDs.
CB: Oh is that what that was???
CB: I guess it sounds easy enough!!! Ill get to it!!!
AN: And would Tomorrow be an Acceptable Date for you?
AN: Assuming this Download goes reasonably for you.
CB: Yeah that should be great actually!!!
AN: Wonderful. I Imagine I should go talk to Tina about it.
CB: You dont sound so thrilled...
AN: Well, no. You know how our Conversations tend to go.
CB: Heehee!!! They can be pretty intense!!!
CB: You know you both care about each other!!! I think you two just like being stubborn for the sake of it sometimes!!!
AN: That is Baseless and Foolish Speculation. You should Probably go and Re-evaluate your Assessment of the Highly Complex and Nuanced Relationship Ms. Trappsen and I Cultivate.
AN: With A Brick.
AN: Sideways.
CB: You even start sounding like each other when you get pissed off!!! ^_^
AN: I'll leave you to your Brick. I wouldn't want to Interrupt what is Bound to be a Tender Moment.
CB: O_O;;;
CB: Give her my love!!!
AN: Um, if the subject comes up I will be sure to pass that Sentiment along.
AN: Talk to you Tomorrow.
CB: Bye sweetie!!!
Your name is ADAM NORTHANGER. You are a SCRIPTWRITER. Well, technically you're a SCRIPTWRITING STUDENT for now, but at the flashy HOLLYWOOD PARTIES you are sure you will eventually be invited to, you FULLY INTEND to introduce yourself by the former descriptor.
You have been working in VARIOUS PARTS of the world SAVING for this MASTERS course since you are of course an ARTS GRADUATE with few saleable skills besides teaching ENGLISH. This has gone FAIRLY WELL for you in all but you have been MISSING YOUR FRIENDS from back home somewhat. Of course, with one exception they have moved on as well, so visiting them would be rather OUT OF THE QUESTION given your current status as a PENNILESS STUDENT.
THE GAME, however, should go some way to SOLVING that problem. You're not exactly sure how, Whobes was kind of SPOTTY ON THE DETAILS, but he seemed CONFIDENT this was the game to play. So here you are.
Your Pesterchum handle is averseNotary, and you Pepper your speech as well as your online conversations with a Melange of Archaic and Modern Words, lending your Idiom a somewhat Pretentious tone.
You cast your mind back to the last game you all played together. You and your friends are all dedicated LARPers, or as dedicated as it's possible to be in the far-flung corners of the world to which you have dispersed. Personally what you have seen of American LARP thus far has inflamed your delicate sensibilities to the extent you had to go and scream and throw rocks at other larger rocks for a while. You cussed those rocks up bad. Standard.
You were heavily involved in a festival-based LARP system called Hurricanoes, in which you played a race of dogmatic desert catpeople in a totally ironic, non-furry kind of way. Totally. Your favoured skills mostly involved summoning and empowering desert spirits and divine emissaries to ruin your enemies' collective shit. You were one of the most advanced Theosophologists in the system! ...Or at least you would've been had you not been so very paranoid of your enemies discovering your tremendous power. While your companions largely were content with displaying their own skills for all to see, you hid your light under a bushel. Which are difficult to find in the desert, so your commitment to doing so should serve only as testament to the magnitude of your reticence.
Hm. Whobes is pestering you. Probably wondering whether you've got everyone on side for The Game yet. You suppose you really ought to gird your loins and face up to contacting Tina. Whatever. You'll answer your best brofriend first.
jocularWordsmith [JW] began pestering averseNotary [AN]
JW: hey dude just about to head off to work.
JW: sup?
AN: Hey bro.
AN: Well, I have come into complete and Uncontested possession of my own Accommodation.
JW: awesome news!
AN: Yes, isn't it just.
JW: well i'd guess so man.
JW: it being generally better to have a room than not.
AN: I Concur.
JW: you all set for college then? ;)
AN: Don't call it that.
AN: Just because I am up to my Outrageously Chic waistcoat in Americanisms it does not give you the License to Compound my Woes.
JW: you could've studied back here...
AN: That hardly would've been as Glamorous or Indicative of some Profound Destiny for Dramaturgical Immortality.
JW: yeah because no famous scriptwriters have ever lived in london ever.
JW: certainly none who could possibly lay a claim to Dramaturgical Immortality.
AN: Your point is made, Whoberley.
AN: Rather Inelegantly, but nonetheless.
JW: elegance is for poetry.
JW: sarcasm so thick you could slather it on a sandwich and call it peanut butter is for purging friends of their various prejudiced misapprehensions.
AN: Your Preference for that Revolting muck is the only thing about you more Bewildering than your Attachment to that Hive of scum and Villainy you call a hometown.
AN: I mean, have you Ever seriously Contemplated an Alternative?
JW: step off bro.
JW: london is awesome...
JW: peanut butter rules...
JW: end of story.
AN: Whatever. This is Stupid.
JW: yes.
JW: so what did celeste say?
AN: She is Assuredly Onboard for this Endeavour of yours.
AN: She should be Available for our Initial Session tomorrow as hoped.
AN: So how Exactly do we set up this Server again?
JW: uh.
JW: pass?
JW: i think the game sort of...
JW: takes care of that itself?
AN: What.
JW: well, i asked her about it and she just sort of told me that each player's computer acts as a server but it's all in the main software package and we basically shouldn't worry about it 'cos it runs itself.
AN: Um. That's nice then I Suppose.
AN: Who was this So-Called Woman anyway?
JW: hell if i know.
JW: just some customer.
JW: think she thought i was cute. ;)
AN: Man what is it with You and Womenfolk?
AN: Is there Anyone who has as many Ladies engaged at some point on the Romantic rubric as you?
JW: i doubt it.
AN: Unbelievable.
JW: green isnt your colour bro.
JW: oh yeah did you talk to tina?
AN: Oh yeah.
AN: I'll get round to That.
JW: sooner rather than later would be good dude.
AN: I know.
AN: Can't you do it?
JW: i told you man.
JW: heading to work.
AN: Now?
AN: Man you must have just about the shittiest hours known to man or Beast.
AN: I thought you would get more Influence over them now you're Assistant Manager.
JW: ha.
JW: ha.
JW: ho.
JW: pretty much i just get to mediate for the manager and all the little people with similarly shitty hours.
AN: At least the Remuneration is more Substantial, right?
JW: marginally.
JW: anyway get to it man!
AN: Fine.
Your name is JAKE WHOBERLEY, though most people just call you WHOBES. You are a POET, although you supplement the proceeds you receive from your VOLUMES of FREESTYLE SOCIAL COMMENTARY by working in an upmarket TEASHOP. This works out in your favour somewhat as you're able to organise SLAM POETRY NIGHTS and PERFORMANCES in order to curry favour with other more established POETS and ARTISTS as well as make a few extra QUID ON THE SIDE.
You love being ACTIVE in the local ARTS COMMUNITY, which as you live in LONDON is probably the BEST IN THE WORLD. At least you're FAIRLY SURE it is. Man, London is so great it almost makes up for most of your friends UPPING STICKS and LEAVING the country. Sadface.
Good thing you can find solace in the arms (and other parts of the ANATOMY) of your various and varied LADY FRIENDS, several of whom are also Londoners. Still, there's no adequate REPLACEMENT for the company of your BRO and also your GIRL-BROS; or at least, not until you heard of this SWEET-ASS GAME. It is going to be so INCREDIBLY SWEET-ASS. You are contemplating stocking up on insulin just to ward off the DIABETES you will inevitably CONTRACT from being in the merest vicinity of the SWEET-ASSEDNESS of this game.
Your Pesterchum handle is jocularWordsmith and you speak with an easy kind of informal loquacity which tends to keep you and those around you feeling laid-back and amiable most of the time.
Anyway, you suppose you should stop waxing lyrical and step to work. Chatting to Adam has only made you later.
Last edited by appositeNautilus; 06-30-2011 at 11:50 AM.
Hey guys, I don't know why everyone is getting so worked up over the new update. I mean, Noir obviously just caught Karkat and Terezi in the middle of painting. Yeah, that's totally what that is. Paint.
oh god oh god oh god
Anyway, um... I wrote this earlier today after just reading the update. Sort of a sequel to Pixie Trails, but from Noir's point of view.
Blood and Noir
I'd fallen for that trap once. I wasn't going to do it again.
The bitch flew up with her little fairy wings, looking all high and mighty and said she was going to kill me. I didn't recognize her, I realized. She wasn't one of the gray kids I killed on Derse or Prospit. Didn't matter, though. They were all the same to me. Stupid bitch didn't even think about the trail that followed her when she flew to find me, or that it would lead me right to their hideout.
I left her behind.
It was just a little pathetic lab on a little pathetic meteor. There was nothing special about it, no reason they would have chosen it over any other. I guess that was why I couldn't find it, but it didn't matter any more. They were good as dead now.
There was a girl standing on the roof, in the stupidest red and turquoise outfit I'd ever seen. Her eyes were hidden behind red shades, but she still stared at me with a grim expression. There was a sword in her hand.
"I knew it," I heard her whisper. She knew I was coming, then.
I teleported behind her to avoid the sword and stabbed her in the chest. She gasped in pain, and I pulled the sword out, letting her fall to the ground and bleed out. She'd be dead soon.
I wasn't quite ready to let the fun go to waste. I teleported into the compound, and when I did, I found my next victim pretty quick. He was crouched under a desk, blubbering something stupid about clowns. I remembered this guy. He was on Prospit, just waking up when I killed him. His expression was pretty sweet when I stabbed him then, shocked and pained and scared out of his mind. But in spite of the blubbering mess he'd been a moment before, when I stabbed him, he just stopped. He was only shocked for a second before he just accepted it, accepted the pain and the death and his fate, and I swear he fucking smiled, the little bastard.
The killing wasn't as fun as I had thought it would be. I decided to be done with it after the guy I had killed once before and just blow the place sky high. As a second thought, I grabbed the two I'd killed and carted their bodies with me back to the bitch that led me to them. I dumped them unceremoniously in front of her, waiting for a response. She didn't cry, like I thought she would. She didn't break down and give up. She took one look at them, and, for a moment, she looked lost and hopeless, just a broken little girl who had suddenly realized she was way out of her league.
And then she looked up at me. Those yellow eyes held a fire, a burning hatred. I smirked to myself. The bitch still thought she could kill me.
Not likely. Not fucking likely.
Personally, I kinda think FieryBlacksmith's was better. But anyway, probably going to be writing more AU stuff for a while. Because at least in AU no one is dead unless you want them to be.
@ MiE 2011: I don't know, especially since I'm not sure when I'll write the next chapter. Dx (But I know how you feel because I'm that way with Pickle's Model.)
@ appositeNautilus: Oh man, I love OC SBurb fics with well thought out characters. This is certainly the place to post that. Although, I will admit to getting a little confused, since you referred to cleopatrasBard as both "Barty" and "Celeste". Oh well, I guess we'll figure that out when you write more.
Last edited by draconicAlgorithm; 06-01-2011 at 06:20 PM.
An occasional fanfic writer and general lurker. -- Chromatica: An Ib-inspired text adventure featuring Homestuck characters
THAT IS NOT SPADES
THERE IS NO CONSENT
THAT IS LIKE SPADES RAPE
TROLLS WOULD BE DISGUSTED
Originally Posted by invalidgriffin
Where do you keep the chips, dB. Can you turn up the air conditioner? Man why is your internet so slow, it is taking forever to download all these seasons of Digimon. YES Digimon is important to the lesbians process will you stop nagging.
Originally Posted by olivia
Originally Posted by Doodled
Eridan: Hunt for fearsome beast
Very fearsome indeed.
got that bitch a wweb-cartoonist. bitches lovve wweb-cartoonists.
Fanfics
Chapter Fics
Thicker Than Blood 01234: It seemed like a pretty straightforward moraillegience. He provided her with food, she protected him from the other rainbow drinkers. Maybe if her old matesprit hadn't gotten involved, it would have stayed that way.
Wizardstuck 12345678910111213141516: The new Hogwarts students just keep getting weirder every year.
Zombiestuck KKEG (1): They thought that the Earth would be empty, ready for them to rebuild and reshape it as they saw fit. They weren't expecting that the meteors wouldn't hit everywhere, or that they might have some nasty side effects. They weren't expecting the Infected.
Don't Press Buttons (1): As usual, John does something stupid. Only this time, the result is that he becomes a troll, and Karkat becomes a human. Shenanigans ensue.
One-Shots
Blood and Noir: I'd fallen for that trap once. I wasn't going to do it again. The Road Ill Traveled: A poem about Karkat and Terezi written in the style of Robert Frost's "The Road Not Traveled". Pixie Trails: Sometimes luck doesn't even factor in. Unovastuck-Karkat vs Throh and Sawk: Apparently, a Sawk is faster than a Throh. Faster than a Braviary too. Karkat finds out the hard way. Kore Wa Troll Desu Ka?: Includes crossdressing and magical girl transformations. Karkat was not pleased. The Lawyer and the Goddess: Vriska and Terezi are having a very important chat when they get interrupted by a certain juggalo. Prompt Dunp: A group of several short fics I wrote based on prompts, including Tavros and Bro sharing tea, Slick talking with Jade about (briefly) hobbits, and Dave finding a birthday gift for Rose. Tears: Getting stabbed in the chest once sucks. Getting stabbed in the chest twice really sucks. Prey: Nepeta is a clever kitty. Yes: In a moment of weakness, Rose consults her magical cue ball. My Little Sis: An alt!kids fic about Bro raising blue!Jade. Based off of MSB's AU roleplay. Funhouse: John really, REALLY doesn't like clowns. Or music by Pink. Ice Cubes: Bro talks to Nanna before his fated battle with Jack. INDIGO and CaNdY rEd: An altblood pesterlog, featuring mutant Gamzee and indigo Karkat. Kantostuck: John wants to be the very best. Like no one ever was. Disease Called Friendship: Karkat has had a bad time with friends. The Demon: Death sometimes comes in the form you'd least expect. Hope: Even the Prince of Hope doesn't understand it. Hoststuck: Yeah, I don't really know either. Coulrophobia: HONK HONK MOTHERFUCKER Do: Killer: He stalks in the darkness, waiting. Waiting. Awaken: It's hard, being a rainbowdrinker. It's hard and no one understands. Kitten: Hearts Boxcars adopts an adorable kitten. Misery Loves Company: Terezi gives the bad news, and finds out some bad news of her own. Tend the Living: Gogdammit Hussie I hate you. Doll: It's actually a very good thing that Vriska allowed Bec to be prototyped. Don't Die On Me: Terezi discovers a new reason to hate Vriska. BL1ND Buddiie2: Sollux consults Terezi on the best method of seeing without sight. Cold: Dave decides to take a little time out to go see Jade.
Because at least in AU no one is dead unless you want them to be.
That's pretty much the point of every Gurren Lagann fanfic ever.
I think that's point of the fanfics for a lot of anime. They have a horrible tendency to kill everyone off at the end (and leave the viewers bawling. Or in my case, anyway.)
An occasional fanfic writer and general lurker. -- Chromatica: An Ib-inspired text adventure featuring Homestuck characters
THAT IS NOT SPADES
THERE IS NO CONSENT
THAT IS LIKE SPADES RAPE
TROLLS WOULD BE DISGUSTED
Originally Posted by invalidgriffin
Where do you keep the chips, dB. Can you turn up the air conditioner? Man why is your internet so slow, it is taking forever to download all these seasons of Digimon. YES Digimon is important to the lesbians process will you stop nagging.
Originally Posted by olivia
Originally Posted by Doodled
Eridan: Hunt for fearsome beast
Very fearsome indeed.
got that bitch a wweb-cartoonist. bitches lovve wweb-cartoonists.
Fanfics
Chapter Fics
Thicker Than Blood 01234: It seemed like a pretty straightforward moraillegience. He provided her with food, she protected him from the other rainbow drinkers. Maybe if her old matesprit hadn't gotten involved, it would have stayed that way.
Wizardstuck 12345678910111213141516: The new Hogwarts students just keep getting weirder every year.
Zombiestuck KKEG (1): They thought that the Earth would be empty, ready for them to rebuild and reshape it as they saw fit. They weren't expecting that the meteors wouldn't hit everywhere, or that they might have some nasty side effects. They weren't expecting the Infected.
Don't Press Buttons (1): As usual, John does something stupid. Only this time, the result is that he becomes a troll, and Karkat becomes a human. Shenanigans ensue.
One-Shots
Blood and Noir: I'd fallen for that trap once. I wasn't going to do it again. The Road Ill Traveled: A poem about Karkat and Terezi written in the style of Robert Frost's "The Road Not Traveled". Pixie Trails: Sometimes luck doesn't even factor in. Unovastuck-Karkat vs Throh and Sawk: Apparently, a Sawk is faster than a Throh. Faster than a Braviary too. Karkat finds out the hard way. Kore Wa Troll Desu Ka?: Includes crossdressing and magical girl transformations. Karkat was not pleased. The Lawyer and the Goddess: Vriska and Terezi are having a very important chat when they get interrupted by a certain juggalo. Prompt Dunp: A group of several short fics I wrote based on prompts, including Tavros and Bro sharing tea, Slick talking with Jade about (briefly) hobbits, and Dave finding a birthday gift for Rose. Tears: Getting stabbed in the chest once sucks. Getting stabbed in the chest twice really sucks. Prey: Nepeta is a clever kitty. Yes: In a moment of weakness, Rose consults her magical cue ball. My Little Sis: An alt!kids fic about Bro raising blue!Jade. Based off of MSB's AU roleplay. Funhouse: John really, REALLY doesn't like clowns. Or music by Pink. Ice Cubes: Bro talks to Nanna before his fated battle with Jack. INDIGO and CaNdY rEd: An altblood pesterlog, featuring mutant Gamzee and indigo Karkat. Kantostuck: John wants to be the very best. Like no one ever was. Disease Called Friendship: Karkat has had a bad time with friends. The Demon: Death sometimes comes in the form you'd least expect. Hope: Even the Prince of Hope doesn't understand it. Hoststuck: Yeah, I don't really know either. Coulrophobia: HONK HONK MOTHERFUCKER Do: Killer: He stalks in the darkness, waiting. Waiting. Awaken: It's hard, being a rainbowdrinker. It's hard and no one understands. Kitten: Hearts Boxcars adopts an adorable kitten. Misery Loves Company: Terezi gives the bad news, and finds out some bad news of her own. Tend the Living: Gogdammit Hussie I hate you. Doll: It's actually a very good thing that Vriska allowed Bec to be prototyped. Don't Die On Me: Terezi discovers a new reason to hate Vriska. BL1ND Buddiie2: Sollux consults Terezi on the best method of seeing without sight. Cold: Dave decides to take a little time out to go see Jade.
Because at least in AU no one is dead unless you want them to be.
That's pretty much the point of every Gurren Lagann fanfic ever.
I think that's point of the fanfics for a lot of anime. They have a horrible tendency to kill everyone off at the end (and leave the viewers bawling. Or in my case, anyway.)
Kamina flipped a small orange crystal in his hand.
"Dayakka, plug this in for me after I take Gurren out, will you?"
"Uh, sure, Captain Kamina."
"See you around! Heh!"
And just like that, Kamina was gone.
"So... what? What do we do once it's plugged in?"
"Oh, do I have to explain everything to you people!?"
The illustrious Captain's visage appeared on the communication screen.
"When you get to where we're going, you're gonna find a king and queen. All I need you to do is make nice, got it?"
"Well... okay."
"Great! See you there, buddy!"
bweeeeeeeeeee
----
"FIRE! FIREFIREFIREFIREFIRE!"
The floating battleship Dai-Gurren rained bombs and cannon fire onto the Dersite hordes on the surface below. Gunmen, troops, and attack craft alike were shattered.
Dayakka only stared. The Dai-Gurren had been bombing and bombing for weeks. The White Queen had told them not to interfere on the opposite side of the planet.
They had finally decided not to heed that particular order anymore, and what did they find? Only the Gurren Lagann, fighting for its life against hundreds of Dersite Gunmen.
"Idiots!"
The White Queen appeared on-screen.
"I told you not to interfere! This is the battle the Heir and Knight must win... alone!"
Dayakka smiled.
"Well, maybe you don't know as much about us as you think you do, your highness."
"FIREFIREFIREFIREFIRE"
"Team Dai-Gurren never leaves one of its own behind. Whatever comes, we'll break through! We forge our own path, and no king, queen, or general will tell us otherwise!"
The White Queen remained silent for a short while.
"So. You choose death, Dayakka?"
"I choose my own path. If death comes, I'll meet it head-on, without fear!"
"I have nothing more to say, then."
As the White Queen cut her feed, another, more familiar face appeared.
"Nice one, Dayakka. That's the Team Dai-Gurren I know."
"We never changed, Kamina. We just got a little distracted, is all."
"Shut up and keep shooting."
"ROGER! FIRE! FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE"
And on it went. They won, in case anyone was wondering.
HOPY SHIT I love it when I randomly drop by after awesome stuff is posted.
Graven, this is the best thing. And you are the best person to be writing it. Yes.
Also I would like to say that sarasvati's stuff always makes me squee uncharacteristically.
Because at least in AU no one is dead unless you want them to be.
That's pretty much the point of every Gurren Lagann fanfic ever.
I think that's point of the fanfics for a lot of anime. They have a horrible tendency to kill everyone off at the end (and leave the viewers bawling. Or in my case, anyway.)
It's a proven fact that the average anime character has about forty gallons of blood in his or her body. Have you seen all the blood that came out of those trolls? I think it's pretty obvious.
An occasional fanfic writer and general lurker. -- Chromatica: An Ib-inspired text adventure featuring Homestuck characters
THAT IS NOT SPADES
THERE IS NO CONSENT
THAT IS LIKE SPADES RAPE
TROLLS WOULD BE DISGUSTED
Originally Posted by invalidgriffin
Where do you keep the chips, dB. Can you turn up the air conditioner? Man why is your internet so slow, it is taking forever to download all these seasons of Digimon. YES Digimon is important to the lesbians process will you stop nagging.
Originally Posted by olivia
Originally Posted by Doodled
Eridan: Hunt for fearsome beast
Very fearsome indeed.
got that bitch a wweb-cartoonist. bitches lovve wweb-cartoonists.
Fanfics
Chapter Fics
Thicker Than Blood 01234: It seemed like a pretty straightforward moraillegience. He provided her with food, she protected him from the other rainbow drinkers. Maybe if her old matesprit hadn't gotten involved, it would have stayed that way.
Wizardstuck 12345678910111213141516: The new Hogwarts students just keep getting weirder every year.
Zombiestuck KKEG (1): They thought that the Earth would be empty, ready for them to rebuild and reshape it as they saw fit. They weren't expecting that the meteors wouldn't hit everywhere, or that they might have some nasty side effects. They weren't expecting the Infected.
Don't Press Buttons (1): As usual, John does something stupid. Only this time, the result is that he becomes a troll, and Karkat becomes a human. Shenanigans ensue.
One-Shots
Blood and Noir: I'd fallen for that trap once. I wasn't going to do it again. The Road Ill Traveled: A poem about Karkat and Terezi written in the style of Robert Frost's "The Road Not Traveled". Pixie Trails: Sometimes luck doesn't even factor in. Unovastuck-Karkat vs Throh and Sawk: Apparently, a Sawk is faster than a Throh. Faster than a Braviary too. Karkat finds out the hard way. Kore Wa Troll Desu Ka?: Includes crossdressing and magical girl transformations. Karkat was not pleased. The Lawyer and the Goddess: Vriska and Terezi are having a very important chat when they get interrupted by a certain juggalo. Prompt Dunp: A group of several short fics I wrote based on prompts, including Tavros and Bro sharing tea, Slick talking with Jade about (briefly) hobbits, and Dave finding a birthday gift for Rose. Tears: Getting stabbed in the chest once sucks. Getting stabbed in the chest twice really sucks. Prey: Nepeta is a clever kitty. Yes: In a moment of weakness, Rose consults her magical cue ball. My Little Sis: An alt!kids fic about Bro raising blue!Jade. Based off of MSB's AU roleplay. Funhouse: John really, REALLY doesn't like clowns. Or music by Pink. Ice Cubes: Bro talks to Nanna before his fated battle with Jack. INDIGO and CaNdY rEd: An altblood pesterlog, featuring mutant Gamzee and indigo Karkat. Kantostuck: John wants to be the very best. Like no one ever was. Disease Called Friendship: Karkat has had a bad time with friends. The Demon: Death sometimes comes in the form you'd least expect. Hope: Even the Prince of Hope doesn't understand it. Hoststuck: Yeah, I don't really know either. Coulrophobia: HONK HONK MOTHERFUCKER Do: Killer: He stalks in the darkness, waiting. Waiting. Awaken: It's hard, being a rainbowdrinker. It's hard and no one understands. Kitten: Hearts Boxcars adopts an adorable kitten. Misery Loves Company: Terezi gives the bad news, and finds out some bad news of her own. Tend the Living: Gogdammit Hussie I hate you. Doll: It's actually a very good thing that Vriska allowed Bec to be prototyped. Don't Die On Me: Terezi discovers a new reason to hate Vriska. BL1ND Buddiie2: Sollux consults Terezi on the best method of seeing without sight. Cold: Dave decides to take a little time out to go see Jade.
Eyes that should have been a vivid pink flew open with the shuddering gasp of their owner. Rose LaLonde flipped over and began retching all over the bed she was in, but nothing came out. They were retches of terror, the remnants of her last breath before a sword had stolen them.
My bed..? Back at home..?
Pale apricot skin that flitted occasionally with a demonic grey, as thin as parchment, was raised to the overhead light.
I am dead.
When one enters a dream bubble for the first time, they typically do not realize they are dead. They are living from memory until someone reminds them that the memories are not as they seem.
But most that enter dream bubbles after being killed were not killed full of the Eldritch juices from the Outer Ring, as Rose was. They whispered lightly in her ear, speaking of how she had failed, how she did a good job, how she was useless, how she was their pride and joy, how she was dead, how she was still breathing perfectly fine. But in a dream bubble, the Horrorterrors have both full control and none at all, and at the time, Rose chose that the latter was prudent. She shoved the voices and the devilish skin whorls away and looked outwards.
I need help.
As soon as it was thought, a girl was sitting behind her on her bed. Not a human girl, but no troll that Rose was familiar with. Her cue-ball eyes and shark-like grin were foreign, but oddly comforting.
"Hello. I don't believe we've met."
"No, we )-(aven't! It's a PL-EASURE to finally M-E-ET you, Rose! Kanaya's said SO MUC)-( about you!"
Oh dear, Rose thought, a twinge of panic running through her unbeating heart. "Is Kanaya here as well?"
The troll girl frowned. "Nope, not yet! S)-(e will be pretty soon, t)-(oug)-(! S)-(e )-(ad been, but t)-(en s)-(e left again! Must be PR-ETTY )-(ARD being a rainbow drinker, I guess. O)-(!!!! My name's F-EF-ERI, by the way!"
She extended her hand, which Rose shook politely. The other girl was bubbly, but not cloyingly so. Rose was strongly reminded of Jade.
"Pleasantries aside, Feferi, why am I here? I was under the impression that a session could not continue without all of it's players. Should I not exist, this being a doomed timeline?"
")-(-E)-(-E)-(-E)-(-E)-(-E!!!! It's not DOOM-ED, sillygills! T)-(is session is ALL WRONG anyways! The )-(orrerterrors told me t)-(at t)-(ey were PR-ETTY WORRI-ED, because t)-(ey )-(ad so many -Emissaries )-(ere, and none of us would live!"
Rose stopped pacing, as she had been.
"None of us would live?"
"Yep! We're all supposed to die! If we don't, t)-(e universe will! It's our destiny!"
Rose stared out her window onto a green yard created from memory, her dead eyes flitting about restlessly as if she were reading the very atoms making up the environment.
"Well, I have never put much stock into the thought of destiny. It's a load of rubbish to me." She turned towards Feferi, who was looking on curiously.
"I'm not very fond of rules, Feferi, and even if it takes a million years in this dream bubble...
"I will break this game."
Better stretch my legs... Sure has been a while. twigwise.tumblr Steam Powered Fanmily Member
Yeah, so this is pretty much my first fan fiction since I was 13, after I said I'd never write one again because they were so idiotic :P Still I'm pretty sure this is going to become a really good story, after chapter 5 or 6 at least, when all of the details are finally set up.
I also don't care about the color coding at all because I'm too lazy to correct all that crap :P
Jade Harley was sitting on her bed, holding a bunny that she and her pen pal had recently built to send to her friend John Egbert. Suddenly, her computer rang out, signifying that someone was trying to contact her on Pesterchum, her preferred instant messaging client. She opened up Pesterchum and was surprised to find that the unknown chum was actually an internet troll. There were so many trolls out there, and they all seemed to specifically target her! Despite the annoyance, she decided to respond to the cyber bully.
cuttlefishCuller [CC] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG]
CC: Glub glub glub glub glub!
GG: oh...
GG:
CC: )(ey, take it easy!
CC: I'm not )(ere to give you a )(ard time like my buddies )(ave been
GG: but youre a troll
GG: and thats what trolls do!
GG: even when they say they wont
GG: sometimes especially!
CC: Ok t)(en, you can be t)(e judge of t)(at. I won't be long!
CC: I've just come to say a couple t)(ings.
CC: FIRST!
CC: None of t)(is is really your fault!
CC: T)(is is swimmingly obvious to everyone )(ere w)(o takes a glubbing moment to t)(ink about it rationally.
CC: W)(ic)( isn't many of us! But still.
What? What the hell? What was her fault? And what was up with all of the annoying fish puns? This was all so confusing.
GG: ok...
GG: even though i still have no idea what youre talking about
CC: I mean, your lusus jumped rig)(t in t)(ere to save you!
CC: Just like mine did.
CC: Well ok, mine was dead at t)(e time. 38(
CC: And s)(e just kind of...
CC: F-ELL IN!
CC: Kinda drifted down like fis)(food, and POW, GL'BGOLYBSPRIT-E.
CC: )(e)(e)(e)(e)(e)(e)(. S)(e was so funny.
GG: whats a lusus!
CC: It's a big ol' monster custodian you grow up wit)(!
CC: S)(-E-ES)(, )(ow freaking retarded do you )(ave to be not to know somet)(ing like t)(at?
CC: I'm joking, of course. 3
GG: :\
Jade did not like this at all. Was cuttlefishCuller really being sincere about this gobbledygook? It was so hard to tell and it made her feel very uncomfortable…
CC: I wanted to glub somet)(ing -ELS-E to you well before you started playing.
CC: Just to get t)(e idea in your )(ead!
CC: I am Feferi, by t)(e way. Abdicated empress to be!
Feferi? What kind of name was that? Not American, at least. Maybe it was Mongolian or something? Did they even have trolls in Mongolia? Why would the Princess of Mongolia be an internet troll anyway?
GG: ok feferi. what is it?
CC: Soon I will go to sleep and speak to t)(e gods.
CC: I will convince t)(em to establis)( a series of stable dream bubbles, w)(ere we can meet in our sleep!
Gods, Dream Bubbles…? What was this she didn't even… The confusion factor increased significantly as the conversation went on, and Jade continued to ask herself far too many questions for her own good. Though, given the strange circumstances, anyone would act as befuddled, she hoped.
GG: i dont understand
GG: whats a dream bubble?
CC: YOU'LL S-E-E! 38D
GG: ugh
GG: feferi i thought you said you were going to stop using your typing quirk!
CC: Did I?
CC: When?
GG: i dont know... im sure i remember you said that
CC: )(mm.
CC: Jade, t)(is is t)(e first time we )(ave ever talked!
CC: Isn't it?
Uh… Wait, what? _ Befuddled x2 Combo…
GG: oh
GG: yeah it is
GG: i dont know what i was thinking...
GG: i just had a major case of deja vu!
CC: W)(at's t)(at?
GG: i felt like we already had this conversation
GG: actually
GG: it still sort of feels that way
GG: its not going away
CC: Well, maybe we did!
CC: )(ey, by t)(e way.
CC: W)(at exactly are you doing t)(ere wit)( t)(at toy?
CC: You never did explain it to me!
GG: ummm
GG: what do you mean i never explained it to you?
GG: if this really is the first time we talked, why would i have?
CC: Good point.
CC: Maybe I'm feeling it too.
CC: I )(ave... w)(at was it? Orca vu?
GG: XO
GG: feferi that one was a stretch even by your fish punnery standards
GG: aaah why do i know that you like to make fish puns?
CC: 38?
GG: actually
GG: i do remember this conversation
GG: it was in the past!
GG: but if it was in the past, then where am i now?
CC: In the future! Duh.
GG: so what is going on?
GG: i dont think i am asleep...
GG: i am not on prospit
CC: Yes, you are asleep. But your dream self died, just like mine, remember?
GG: oh...
GG: vaguely
CC: Now you don't dream about Prospit. You have normal dreams!
GG: so this is a dream?
CC: It is a dream, and a memory. It is the past, brought back to life by a witch! It's all those things.
CC: Although we are getting off the script here!
CC: This is not how the conversation originally went, obviously.
CC: You were a lot less patient with me! When I was just trying to ENCOURAGE you.
Ah, now it made much more sense. Jade began to finally remember all the things that happened in real life. She had just entered the medium after her best friend Bec prototyped himself and destroyed the meteor that was headed for her island. Everything went dark, but as she ascended into the incinisphere, she saw snow for the first time in her short life.
GG: sorry
GG: i think
GG: i am in the game now, right?
CC: Sure!
CC: Hey, why don't you tell me about this cool robot bunny you we're making?
CC: I've been pretty glubbing curious about it!
CC: Mind if I take a look?
GG: um
Feferi suddenly appeared in her bed next to her. The fishy troll grabbed the bunny and cuddled with it as they chatted right next to each other.
CC: It's great!
CC: Wish I could make something like this. Never had the gills for technology.
CC: Hard to work with under water!
GG: why are you here!
GG: are you asleep too?
CC: Nope!
CC: I woke up from my nap a while ago.
CC: Remember how I woke up and then messaged you? You had just had a bad dream!
CC: And I told you there was nothing to be scared of.
CC: Which there isn't!
GG: oh yeah
GG: i do remember that
GG: then why are you here now?
Feferi turned her head and looked into Jade's eyes. But something was wrong. She had no pupils. Blankly staring at Jade with a menacing smile, she finished their conversation and Jade's dream.
CC: Because, stupid.
CC: I'M D-EAD!
Jade woke up. She needed to stop falling asleep...
Jade hopped out of bed. For some reason, her bed was floating several meters in the air, and was also outside. But that didn't matter. All her attention was focused on the blanket of white that had appeared all over her previously tropical island. The snow was quite deep, all the way up to her waist, and the snowfall was still continuing. She scanned the area and gazed in awe at this frozen wonderland. It was just… vast. There was no other word to describe it. Not colorful, no particular emotions to describe it, just vast and covering everything. Green and yellow auroras also streaked across the sky playfully, but something was just a bit unsettling about them.
Jade realized that she left her computer back at the tower. She had wanted to contact John, but she lacked any communication devices whatsoever. This was bad. Being caught without a computer is one of the worst possible actions. What if some grimdark monster suddenly wants to attack you and you're too weak to fight back, but you have no way of getting help? You're screwed, that's what. She had to climb up to the atrium immediately-
Good thing her grandpa had taught her to carry her rifle at all times, because something nefarious was stalking her and was readying itself for a sneak attack. It was time for a…..
Strife! 888
Trying her best to aggrieve this imp, she rapidly fired several shots. Apparently, these mooks had obtained Bec's teleportation abilities, as they suddenly transported to several different locations across the incinisphere. She paid little attention to the scenery as she blasted away, trying to concentrate during heat of the strife, but the stupid thing wouldn't die! A few minutes of useless ammo depleting, they were back where they started, area-wise, and absolutely no farther, progress-wise.
Bec finally decided to draw the strife to a close. He created a nuclear explosion on the imp. Good dog. Best friend.
Time to advance on the echeladder! This was Jade's first level-up, so she advanced from the measly Greentike rung to the somewhat more respectable Kiddo Eclipse rung. Not much better, but hey, at least it was something. She would have gotten more experience if she was actually able to kill the imp herself. She'll try to do that next time. In the meantime…. Oh no! She forgot to thank her best friend!
"Thanks Bec! Good boy!" she told her dog. Now that he was a sprite, his power had increased immensely, which was hard to fathom considering his near-omnipotence before being prototyped in the first place! She had noted from her time as Dave's server player that sprites could also talk to their respective player via a mysterious form of communication called the "Sprite Log". Definitely not a way to avoid text bubbles… Wait huh… Jade had no idea what sensation just came over her… Less meta, more talking-to-Becsprite-ta!
Sprite Log- Jade Harley and Becsprite
JADE: soooooo...
JADE: can you talk now?
JADE: what do you have to say
BECSPRITE: …
…
After several seconds of intense gamma radiation dosage, Jade had realized that being able to talk to Bec was not a complete benefit. She would try to keep conversations with her sprite to a minimum from then on…
Chapter 2
Chapter 2
Becsprite transported Jade back to her home. It was a good thing, too, considering the fact that the tower was hundreds of feet in the air. Even with the transportalizers, it would have taken at least two minutes to travel up to the top! She was now in the Grand Foyer… which was on the bottom floor. Meh.
…
Jade noticed a severe lack of electrons, neutrons, and protons in this room. More specifically, those belonging to the stuff in the room!
Sprite Log- Jade Harley and Becsprite
JADE: what happened in here?
JADE: where is everything? all the globes and houseguests...
JADE: and the cruxtruder?
JADE: and grandpa?
JADE: bec, what did you do!
JADE: has someone been a bad dog?
JADE: wait never mind, please dont answer that!
JADE: _
This was going to be a loooooooong adventure…..
Jade's atrium was completely destroyed. John had defiled it to place the SBURB game objects like the alchemiter, ruining her garden. He even personally dumped the pumpkins…. That she thought she remembered growing….She forgot the point she was making? But the Alchemiter and Totem Lathe were destroyed when she entered the medium! Now all of the sacrifices her plants had to make were meaningless…. Meaningless….
Meaningless… O_0_o_-_,_._
Yeah, at least her lunchtop was saved. Those… pleasant Squiddle faces staring on the cover…. "Let's be tangle buddies," they said… That is not what they really meant… She then thought about replacing the image with the Manthro-Chaps instead. But she needed to stop thinking about the bad things in life and focus on getting through this game! And she would start by messaging Dave Strider, resident coolkid, who had been trying to get ahold of her for a while now.
- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] -
TG: hey
TG: welcome to the medium finally i guess
He's such a coolkid!
GG: hey!
GG: last time i talked to you i was asking for help and you were just nakking at me
GG: what was up with that bro?
TG: ok i dont know what youre talking about it was probably just some horrorterror chirping at you during one of your nap bubble mindfucks
Why Dave says silly things like that, Jade will never know. Maybe it takes a lot more work to be a coolkid than she thought previously? Probably.
TG: its not the point i just wanted to say
TG: i just saw you
GG: you did?
TG: yeah
TG: you appeared for a second
TG: shooting at an imp
TG: then you disappeared
GG: ohhhhhhh
GG: yes, i did get around during that battle didnt i?
GG: it was really intense!
GG: those stupid things are impossible to kill
TG: no you can kill them
TG: youll get better dont worry
GG: in the heat of the fray i didnt notice you!
GG: where were you?
TG: three places
TG: i remember seeing you twice before in different locations
TG: but at the moment im standing in the middle of this snowy goddamn field freezing my shit off
TG: just wanted to see if you were cool
GG: yeah im fine, thanks for asking!
GG: what do you mean you remember seeing me?
GG: was i jumping through time or something?
TG: no i was
TG: this is future me
TG: one of the future mes that is
GG: youre from the future?
TG: yeah jade thats what future me means
GG:
GG: john told me you have been doing some time traveling
TG: yeah
GG: that is...
GG: really really awesome!
TG: its ok
TG: hey its pretty fucking cold
GG: i knoooooow
GG: it is a really neat place but its freeeeezing
TG: so im gonna go some place warm be back in a while later
GG: wait!
GG: dave!
GG: uuugh stupid lousy cool dudes
Jade really liked talking to Dave, but coolkids are usually exempt from having to care about stuff like that.
- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] -
TG: ok im back
TG: an hour later
GG: an hour?
TG: an hour for me
TG: a second for you
TG: i ran around for an hour got my ass some place warm
TG: went back in time
TG: picked up where we left off
GG: :O
GG: i can not believe how cool that is
GG: this is me believing neither that, nor its coolness :O
TG: yeah
TG: i guess im sorta used to it by now i dont think of hours going by the same way anymore
TG: i mean
TG: they are my hours but not everyone elses theyre kind of like private hours all to myself
TG: while everyone else is sort of in slow motion stuck in the thick of the alpha
GG: hmmmm...
GG: i dont know if i get that but ok!
TG: well yeah
TG: my thing is time yours is space
TG: pretty different things
TG: you GET things about space i dont
TG: or you will
GG: i will?
TG: yup
GG: ok...
GG: but anyway youre right, its coooold!
GG: i have to go back inside
GG: i wish i had winter clothes
GG: and if i did, i ALSO wish that my wardrobifier didnt blow up with all of my beautiful clothes inside it
GG: im so horribly unprepared for this... i have never even seen snow before, can you believe that!
TG: pretty believable since you lived on guam or wherever the fuck
TG: and also inside an active volcano
GG: derp yes dave that is so where i lived
GG: that is as biographically accurate as it gets about me!
TG: well ive never seen it either now that i think about it
GG: no?
TG: no
GG: isnt it great?
TG: nah
TG: lavas better
GG: lava is NOT better than snow :|
TG: yeah it is lava and skeletal skyscrapers all melting and shit how is that not way cooler than
TG: snow and
TG: like
TG: more snow
GG: you cant play in lava, its no fun
GG: you can only die in lava
TG: snows a big chilly carpet of nobody gives a shit
TG: like old man winter spread around his nasty mayonnaise and turned the landscape into his personal asshole sandwich
GG: eww dave no
TG: when i look around all i see is the miles of unharnessed snowmen im just too damn cool to build
GG: no this is so lame
GG: i am hearing an insane and stupid guy say stupid idiot things while wearing dumb sunglasses for lame morons!
TG: whoa jade with the fucking haymaker
TG: i need to go look for my teeth on the canvas as soon as shit stops spinning and there stops being like ten of you
GG: heheheh
GG: why dont we play in the snow later
GG: as soon as you get some...
TG: time
GG: ...
TG: time
GG: ...
TG: time then shades
GG: ...
TG: time
GG: ...
TG: time/shades lets go
GG: ...
GG: ...
GG: ...
TG: oh my fucking god
GG: ..
GG: .
GG: time
TG: im not gonna play in the snow
TG: maybe you missed those credentials i flashed which clearly stated me being too cool for that
TG: like federally too cool
TG: my coolness is named after a dead president plus his middle initial to make it sound extra legit
GG: i know youre joking around, you are not too cool at all, you dont even think that
TG: ok
GG: brrrrrr
TG: i thought you were going inside
GG: i forgot :\
TG: well at least make some damn clothes
TG: something warmer why dont you alchemize some shit
GG: i cant!
GG: all that stuff blew up
TG: blew up
GG: its a long story that involves a pinata and a gun and a very naughty doggie
TG: i completely understand everything about that practically entirely
GG: you do?
TG: cool story bro
GG: dave…_
GG: so anyway I had a dream last night… this morning…. whatever time it is anymore.
GG: one of the trolls was talking to me in my dream
GG: it was like a memory but different
GG: it was the first time we chatted
GG: but then i remembered that it wasn't really the first time and i was dreaming
GG: she said i was in a dream bubble and that everyone can visit each other now!
GG: then she appeared next to me
GG: and then she said that she was dead!
TG: i read about this
TG: it was in one of roses shitty books in her dream room
TG: it was called dream bubbles by the sleeping prophet charles dutton
Well, that conversation was not all that useful at all. It was pretty entertaining, at least. Now it was time to pester Feferi and find out what all that dream stuff was about!
- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering cuttlefishCuller [CC] –
GG: feferi! i need to talk to you!
GG: hello?
CC: O)(, )(-EY JAD-E!
CC: oh sorry. i forgot about the typing thing.
GG: oh its okay feferi.
GG: but i still need to talk to you!
CG: what is it jade?
GG: i saw you in my dream
CG: oh! so youre dreaming about me, )(U)(! 8D
GG: huh… umm no… eww!
Was Feferi hitting on her…? O_O
CG: whats eww?
GG: well im… im not really a homosexual…
CG: )(U)(?
GG: uh, its when a girl likes another girl?
CG: wait…
CG: R—EALLY? D8
CG: thats… thats an actual thing that exists?
CG: wow trolls dont even HAV—E a word for that!
CG: girls who only like girls and guys who only like guys are just like weird fetishists or something! 8D
GG: well still…
CG: what? it was just a JOK—E, JAD-E!
GG: okay okay, im just weirded out by all this weird troll culture stuff. but okay.
GG: so anyway
GG: in my dream, you were talking to me like it was our first time
GG: but then you appeared next to me and started talking about dream bubbles
GG: which are supposed to let the trolls and kids meet each other!
GG: and then you said you were dead!
CG: WOA)(, that sounds like one W—EIRD dream!
CG: i don't remember doing that though sorry 8/
GG: so do you think it was just a dream or was it some horrorterrors…
CG: aww COM—E ON! 8(
CG: NON—E of you shits will B—ELI—EV—E me that the horrorterrors AR—ENT evil!
CG: theyre here to )(-ELP US!
GG: feferi!
CG: oh im sorry jade!
GG: uh… okay?
CG: but youll S—E—E! the horrorterrors are good
CG: i was raised by one, I would know! 8D
CG: just go to sleep and youll see!
GG: i just woke up though
CG: who cares, youve got all the time in the world!
GG: but no i dont the reckoning has already started
Definitely the oddest troll out of the bunch. But it was still really fun to talk to her, except when she had those asshole moments. Which was like all of the time. But still.
Becsprite floated around Jade and seemed to urge her to go upstairs to the laboratory. She guessed that that was where she was headed, then! It was never good to get on Bec's bad side, and it was even worse now that he could talk. Jade rolled her eyes as hard as they could at the thought of his potential lectures. They would be even more annoying than Grandpa's. UGH. And also very radioactive. So, off she went.
Been a while, here is a thing I have been working on. It's getting kind of hairy already, trying to do a few different things and it's only a third or so of the way done, so feel free to critique.
Mistakes Have Been Made, part 1
Aradia's skin gleamed dully in the red-gold light of dusk. It was always twilight here in the Land of Maps and Treasure, lit as it was by the dying light of a bygone age. The rosy tinge of nostalgia suffused that romantic landscape, hearkening back to glory days full of drama and adventure. Relics of the fantastic past dotted the islands below, there for the taking. This appealed to something deep inside Aradia, some part of her long buried, but it was more than just the treasures--it was the memories. The past looked so much richer when seen in the warm glow of that chart-filled sky.
Perhaps that was what led her astray. That was what she would tell herself later, anyhow.
For the moment she still had a duty to carry out. She was unsure how she should feel about the task that had been assigned to her, but the chorus of her alternate selves had been very clear. So, with some effort she managed to force herself to feel nothing at all.
It had been so easy once. Sometimes she found her new metallic body so terribly inconvenient, full of strong emotions such as it was.
Her photoreceptors picked up movement in the distance: a billowing exhaust trail tracing the flight of a departing rocket engine. She knew without looking that the trail would belong to Tavros's bright red chair; everything was proceeding according to schedule. She floated ahead slowly, even though she knew was losing ground. She was patient, and knew she would encounter her quarry at the prescribed moment. It would be useless to arrive too early anyhow.
By and by she came upon to the broad flat plateau where she knew she would find her target. Sure enough Vriska arrived on cue, skidding to a halt as she spotted Aradia floating there. Aradia had never actually seen her killer again after the accident, and was surprised at how different Vriska looked. Her mangled face and prosthetic arm were the most obvious transformation, of course, but somehow Vriska had changed in the intervening solar sweep. She had always been unkempt, but now her matted hair and tattered clothing spoke of a whole new level of neglect, and there was something new in her demeanor. Something animalistic, almost--she tensed at the sight of Aradia and lowered herself into a wary crouch, snarling. She knew what was coming, knew that the happy reunion she had hoped and schemed for was not to be.
Aradia eyed her coldly. Vriska hadn't changed, not really. Deep down she had always been like this, hiding her true nature... right? Surely that must be the case. Aradia raised a steel arm, ready for the telekinetic thrashing that would break her foe.
Suddenly...
Suddenly they were four and a half again, running along the cliffs at sunset. It wasn't real FLARP, not then, not with each other. Just kids letting their imaginations go wild. Running, laughing, dancing, playing; they were explorers, conquerors, rebels, heroes and villains, spunky Docteure Lonewhip against the dreaded Marquise Mindfang. Terezi was usually with them, sometimes Tavros if he could keep up, Eridan occasionally joining them even though they only teased him until he left; one blissful time they even cajoled Sollux into playing, at least for a while, until he called them all dumb for playing and went home.
One day Aradia found a hat, her wonderful new hat, and Vriska was secretly jealous and told her it looked stupid but she didn't care, it was unique and it was special and it was undeniably hers. Then her hat had fallen off and Vriska threw it into a chasm, laughing cruelly all the while. Aradia had looked at her, crying, and Vriska's laughter died in her throat; she was too proud to say she was sorry, though, and when she looked away with tears in her own eyes she claimed it was just the wind blowing dust in her face. They had good times and bad times, but they were friends, and they were together; that was enough, and they were happy, until abruptly it all ended in a single vicious night of terror...
...and then they were six sweeps old again and back in the present, Aradia still poised and ready to crush Vriska. She shook away the memories of the past and forced herself to look at Vriska's ruined eye again, a stark reminder of everything that had happened to them in the past sweep. What little innocence Alternian society affords its youth had long since departed. They were nearly grown up now, and it was time for them to put aside childish things and take up their adult responsibilities. As trolls, that meant killing.
It had to be this way.
Vriska sensed Aradia's hesitation and glared at her, lip curled with contempt, silently daring her to begin. Begging her. Aradia stared back, locking eyes with her murderer. She saw the cold face of a hardened killer, her gaunt cheeks weathered and chiseled by a hostile and unforgiving world. She saw the scars curling around the edges of Vriska's eye socket, bearing testament to a lifetime of painful mistakes.
And she saw tears glistening in Vriska's remaining eye, glittering pink and gold in the sunset.
In that moment, Aradia saw the sweeps melt from Vriska's face. She was a little girl again, lost and lonely, no longer the heartless monster who had murdered Aradia and maimed her friends. It was her old friend standing there, hurting, verging on tears but still too proud to say she was sorry.
Aradia felt a twinge of something in the hollow cavity of her chest. She had long since torn out her ridiculous robotic heart, but nonetheless something was tugging inside of her, something Aradia thought she had lost long ago. She relaxed and gently lowered herself to the ground, her longingly outstretched arm now beckoning rather than threatening.
Vriska gazed up with confusion, uncertain whether to trust this new development. Cautiously the girl edged closer, taking one step, then another. Then another, and another, and now her red sneakers were pounding against the rocky ground faster and faster as she broke into a headlong run, slamming into Aradia's robotic body in a bone-jarring embrace.
Vriska buried her face in the artificial fibers of Aradia's hair, blubbering uncontrollably. "I didn't mean it," she sobbed, over and over again. "It's not supposed to 8e this way."
Aradia returned the hug, holding Vriska as gently as her iron arms allowed. "It's n0t y0ur fault, h0n," she said, comforting her friend. "Shhh. Everything is g0ing t0 be 0kay." The lies came easily and she hated herself for it, but in the dim glow of that twilit land she could almost make herself believe them. Vriska squeezed tighter, her cybernetic arm clamped around Aradia's frame like a vise.
By the time a thoroughly confused Tavros returned from his errand they were sitting together on the ground, still silently cradling each other.
*****
FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG] 4 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
FCG: HEY HORSEFUCKER, I HATE TO INTERRUPT PRETTY PONY PLAYTIME OVER THERE BUT WE NEED TO TALK.
FAC: :33 < hi karkitty!
FCG: GOD DAMMIT, I AM SO NOT IN THE MOOD FOR THIS RIGHT NOW.
FCG: I AM BEYOND THE FURTHEST FUCKING FROM BEING IN THE MOOD FOR THIS, OKAY?
FCG: I HAVE VERY IMPORTANT LEADERSHIP TOPICS TO DISCUSS, LEADER TO LEADER, AND I HAVE ZERO TIME TO INDULGE IN YOUR BULLSHIT.
FCG: OR CATSHIT, WHATEVER.
FAA: 0h my g0d
FAA: will y0u just chill 0ut already karkat
FCG: NO. I WILL BE DISHING OUT PIPING HOT HELPINGS OF FUCK YOU SERVED FRESH UP THE BONE BULGE, AND THERE WILL BE NO CHILLING INVOLVED.
FCG: I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN POACHING MY TEAM MEMBERS, ASSHOLES. I'M PUTTING A STOP TO THAT RIGHT NOW.
FAG: Uggggggggh. You already had your chance to be the 8ig hotshot leader Karkat, and you 8lew it!
FAG: I'm 8usy hanging out with Aradia now, we still have catching up to do.
FCG: AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO REMEMBERS THE PART WHERE YOU KILLED HER? PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN'T FORGET ABOUT THAT PART.
FCG: OR IS MURDER ACTUALLY THE SECRET TO THIS TROLL DISEASE CALLED FRIENDSHIP?
FCG: GOOD JOB EVERYBODY I GUESS, WE HAVE LEARNED AN IMPORTANT LESSON ABOUT FRIENDSHIP TODAY. COME OVER HERE SO I CAN GIVE YOU ALL FRIENDMURDERS.
FAA: its 0k
FAA: i g0t better
FCG: WHAT? YOU FUCKING DIED. YOU DON'T "GET BETTER."
FAC: :33 < it is true, it is a fact from a robot
FCG: LOOK, I'M GETTING SIDETRACKED HERE.
FCG: WE HAD A DEAL. TWO TEAMS OF SIX, THAT WAS THE ARRANGEMENT.
FCG: AND UNLIKE YOU USELESS FUCKSACKS, RED TEAM WAS ENGAGED IN GAME-CRITICAL MISSIONS BEFORE YOU SWIPED A THIRD OF MY TEAM.
FCG: AS AWESOME AS IT WOULD BE TO JUST SAY GOOD RIDDANCE TO SPIDERBITCH AND OWN YOU LOSERS WHILE OUTNUMBERED TWO TO ONE, I KIND OF NEEDED HER FOR A REASON.
FAG: Love you too Karkat! <33333333
FCT: D --> Actually
FCT: D --> I have no further interest in this f001ish charade of leadership anyhow
FCT: D --> In fact
FCT: D --> Oh my
FCT: D --> This is so e%quisitely depraved
FAG: Aradia! Your 8oyfriend is doing the sweating thing again, make him cut it out.
FCT: D --> I'm sorry
FCT: D --> I can't really control the sweating
FCG: JUST SPIT IT OUT AND GET IT OVER WITH ALREADY.
FCT: D --> Very well
FCT: D --> I will cede leadership of the b100 team
FCT: D --> And
FCT: D --> Place my adventuring party under your command
FAA: i am 0k with this
FCG: WAIT, SERIOUSLY? ABOUT FUCKING TIME.
FCG: SO WE'RE ALL IN AGREEMENT ON THIS NOW, I AM AWESOME LEADER OF BOTH TEAMS.
FUTURE twinArmageddons [FTA] 5 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
FTA: hang on KK
FTA: ii dii2tiinctly remember beiing promii2ed leader2hiip of the blue team before ii wa2 2tone cold back2tabbed.
FAA: im s0rry s0llux
FAA: y0u kn0w it had t0 be that way
FTA: yeah ok
FTA: but iif you guy2 are baiiliing then ii thiink ii 2hould be leader of blue team agaiin.
FCG: YOU REALIZE THAT YOUR "TEAM" CONSISTS OF YOU AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND RIGHT NOW, RIGHT? JACKASS.
FTA: don't forget eriidan, he'2 2tiill here too.
FUTURE caligulasAquarium [FCA] 7 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
FCA: you can leavve me out of this mustard guts
FCA: i wwant no more part of this team full a twwo faced ingrates
FCA: see fef i can do these puns twwo
FTA: oh my god that ii2 2eriiou2ly the mo2t pathetiic thiing ever.
FCA: shut your bloody mouth
FCA: im wwith you noww ok kar
FCG: GREAT, SO THAT SETTLES IT. I WILL TAKE COMMAND OF RED TEAM, NOW CONSISTING OF EVERYONE BUT FEFERI AND HER STUPID MUTANT FREAK BOYFRIEND, AND ASSUME THE TASK OF WINNING THE GAME.
FCG: MEANWHILE THOSE TWO WILL FORM THE REMAINDER OF BLUE TEAM AND HAVE DISGUSTING SLOPPY MAKEOUTS TOGETHER OR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU TWO DO.
FTA: fuck you KK.
FTA ceased responding to memo.
FCG: SO OKAY, FIRST, I AM IN FACT A SUPERB LEADER.
FCG: LET'S PUT THAT OUT ON THE TABLE WHERE EVERYONE CAN SEE IT.
FAG: Snoooooooore.
FCG: FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS, YOU ASSHOLES ALL NEED TO COME BACK HERE SO WE CAN GO GET THAT RING.
FAA: n0
FCG: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN "NO." THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS.
FAA: were g0ing n0w
FAA ceased responding to memo.
*****
Equius was bemused. He had built Aradia's simulacrum with the capability of laughter, of course, but he had never actually heard it before. Now it rang in delicate melodies against the crystalline stalagmites, her electronic voicebox giving the sound a tinkling quality like the chimes of her music boxes. The group had backtracked to the Land of Quartz and Melody at Vriska's insistence; now that she had her friend back she wanted to do everything together, starting with Aradia's quests.
As they walked Vriska told her all the things that had happened during the intervening solar sweep. Aradia had actually been there, of course, but talking made Vriska happy and that was good enough for her. She spoke very little herself; by definition the dead do not live interesting day to day lives. Vriska was doing enough talking for the both of them anyhow, since after all she was discussing her favorite topic. She regaled the groups with stories of all the adventures she'd had in the past sweep, no doubt exaggerated for her own aggrandizement. Nobody believed her except possibly Tavros, tagging along with puppylike adoration, but they humored her anyhow.
Progress was easy with three of their most powerful players in the party; basilisks, giclopes, even liches quickly fell to Equius's fists and Vriska's dice, when they were not simply torn apart by Aradia's psychic powers. They simply ignored lesser foes outright. Only Nepeta deigned to pay attention to the imps, her predatory instincts taking over as she toyed with her prey; otherwise they were left to join Tavros's growing communion trailing behind them. Together the five descended into the musical ruins of the world, breezing through the land's quests. Aradia had already received her music boxes from her future self, of course, but Vriska was determined that they should earn them together.
"They're already here, right? You were o8viously destined to get them. So why not right now? You could do it, you know, give them to yourself. You could 8e the one!" she had said. Aradia didn't have the heart to tell her it didn't work that way, but nonetheless she led the group deeper into the ruins that housed the temporal artifacts.
If she had been on her guard, she might have realized that the land's denizen would not be prepared to give up the Hero of Time's iconic tools so easily. An immense horde of monsters swarmed out of the catacombs to meet them, eager to recover Euterpe's stolen treasure. The group's laughter and banter quickly dropped off, replaced by deadly seriousness.
Equius took the initiative and the first giclops exploded in a shower of grist as Equius punched a hole through its torso. There were more of them following close behind, though, and Equius might have been trampled if Nepeta had not pushed him clear with a timely pouncetackle. Together the two held the line back to back in a whirling blur of fists and claws. One on one they were more than a match for any of their foes, but fighting hand to hand made crowd control difficult. Now and again the mob threatened to spill past them and Tavros would direct his minions into the gap, though he cringed every time an allied imp got pulverized.
"Weaaaaaaaak! You can do 8etter than that, Pupa!" yelled Vriska, seeing him hang back. "You have a lance, quit hiding 8ehind your little friends and use it already!" There was no venom to her words, though. By this point her taunts were almost reflexive; they washed over Tavros like a gentle breeze.
Aradia diplomatically declined to point out that Vriska herself was making liberal use of the imp army for cover. For one thing her Fluorite Octet was one of their most valuable assets--unpredictable, but taking out whole swathes of enemies on good rolls. Vriska was a capable hand to hand fighter in her own right, but this sort of mass melee was over her head; she was far more effective rolling from the safety of the rear line, occasionally pausing to manipulate the giclopes into smashing each others' faces.
For another thing, Aradia was busy herself. Her telekinetic powers shredded enemies left and right, concentrating on the frail liches and leaving the heavy tanks to her teammates. A mortal psychic would have quickly run out of mental reserves at the rate she was going, but Aradia's metal body knew no fatigue. Her friends were not so lucky, though, and gradually Equius and Nepeta began to tire and slow. The ranks of Tavros's miniature army were rapidly thinning out as well, making it harder and harder to hold back the tide. A giclops with a particularly nasty Gl'bgolyb mutation broke through the front line, threatening Equius from behind while he was busy with a pair of basilisks. The tentacled monstrosity raised a massive clawed fist, ready to deliver a crippling blow-
And then it fell backwards in a bicolor blast.
The remaining enemies paused, alarmed at this new danger. Their victory had been close at hand, but now everything was slipping away. In the brief space of their hesitation another pair of blasts obliterated two more giants, which was enough to send the survivors into a rout. The exhausted heroes turned to one another, grinning in comaraderie--all except Aradia, whose attention was fixated on the figure who had appeared atop the steps behind them.
"'thup," said Sollux, shuffling nervously as he tried to keep his cool.
A quick trident poke in his back put an end to that. "Quit being koi and go give her a reel greeting, mister!" said Feferi, coming up behind him. She didn't have to tell him twice; his aloofness evaporated as he skipped down the stairs, running on air quite literally as he zoomed down to meet Aradia. She squealed with delight as they came together and clasped arms, twirling around in midair to a chorus of laughs and giggles. Sollux stopped dead and froze when he saw who they were floating in front of, though. An awkward silence fell over the group as Sollux and Vriska eyed each other.
If Aradia's artificial body bore breath, she would have held it right then. She had known deep down that the happy reunion with her former friend had been an illusion, a fleeting dream, and now it was going to come crashing down. Vriska fumbled for something she could say to Sollux, something nasty no doubt, and sure enough a disdainful sneer crept onto her face as she started to work together some devastating retort that would salvage her wounded pride. Vriska had all the social graces of a drunken cholerbear; she would say something unforgivable, the group would tear itself apart, and Aradia would lose everybody but Equius again.
Everyone waited. The atmosphere was electric, as though sparks could start flying at any moment. And they would, certainly, once Vriska spoke.
Vriska opened her mouth. Paused. Her lips moved, but she could not force the words to come out.
Her face fell, all scorn gone. Her jaw worked back and forth uselessly, words caught in her throat.
She bit her lip, breathed deeply. When she finally opened her mouth again she was speaking in a low voice, as though afraid of making herself heard. "Mistakes... have been made," she said. She mumbled a few more half-formed syllables that might possibly have been "I'm sorry", if you washed them up a bit and gave them a good polish.
Aradia glanced around. It was the lamest non-apology ever uttered; there was no way that was going to fly. She looked over at Sollux, worriedly, and realized he was looking back at her. A red and blue corona crackled ominously around the rim of his glasses as he mulled it over.
Gradually he became aware of Feferi at his side. Her hand had found its way into his, fingers intertwining. He gave her hand a squeeze, relaxing visibly. He glanced at Vriska, sizing her up.
Grudgingly, he swung an arm out and smacked her on the shoulder, a universal masculine gesture of acknowledgement. The tension dissapated. Feferi gave Vriska a quick reassuring hug, which turned into a round of hugs for everybody (except, after a moment of consideration, a polite nod to Equius instead.)
*****
FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG] 13 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
FCG: HEY FUCKASS, DON'T THINK I HAVEN'T NOTICED WHAT YOU AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND HAVE BEEN UP TO.
FTA: oh god what now KK
FCG: I CHOOSE TO INTERPRET THIS AS A DELIBERATE DEFECTION TO THE RED TEAM, MAKING ME DE FACTO SUPREME LEADER OF EVERYBODY.
FCG: AS IT SHOULD BE.
FTA: god whatever.
FTA: nobody care2 anymore a22hole.
FCG: USING MY UNPARALLELED LEADERSHIP SKILLS, WHICH ARE LEGENDARY, I HAVE TAKEN THE LIBERTY OF DIVIDING OUR NEW UNITED TEAM INTO TWO SUB-TEAMS FOR EASIER MANAGEMENT.
FCG: TEAM USELESS GRUBSAUCE LOSER FORCE WILL CONSIST OF ARADIA, EQUIUS, NEPETA, VRISKA, TAVROS, SOLLUX, AND FEFERI.
FCG: TEAM WINNING SHITWRECKER VICTORY SQUAD WILL CONSIST OF ME, TEREZI, KANAYA, AND ERIDAN. AND GAMZEE, I GUESS.
FCG: YOU WILL NOTICE THAT I HAVE MAGNANIMOUSLY DECIDED TO ALLOT YOUR SUBTEAM AN EXTRA PLAYER.
FTA: 2tiill don't care.
FCG: FOR YOUR FIRST ASSIGNMENT, I ORDER GRUBSAUCE LOSER FORCE TO FUCK AROUND ACCOMPLISHING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING OF WORTH.
FCG: I SEE YOU'VE ALREADY MADE EXCELLENT PROGRESS. CONGRATULATIONS! WHAT A BUNCH OF FUCKING GO-GETTERS, YOU ALL DESERVE COMMENDATIONS.
FAG: Hahahahahahahaha, you have no idea how many irons we have in the fire, Karkat!
FAG: Just sit 8ack in your 8ig stupid leader chair and watch us 8eat the game for you, we'll 8e done in no time. :::;)
FAT: yES, tHIS COULD BE TRUE, i THINK,
FAT: wE ARE MAKING EXCELLENT PROGRESS, aND, tHERE ARE A LOT OF QUESTS WE ARE FINISHING,
FCG: HAHA, YOU IDIOTS STILL DON'T GET IT, DO YOU.
FCG: GO AHEAD AND PRETEND THAT WHAT YOU'RE DOING HAS SOME MINISCULE MEASURE OF RELEVANCE.
FCG: AS YOUR BENEVOLENT RULER I WILL PERMIT YOU THIS BLISSFUL ILLUSION.
FCG: MEANWHILE SHITWRECKER VICTORY SQUAD WILL BE RENDERING YOUR MEANINGLESS ACCOMPLISHMENTS MOOT WITH MY BRILLIANT MASTERSTROKE PLAN.
FCG: STORY OF YOUR FUCKING LIVES.
FTA: ye2, ii can bet you'll be doiing 2ome 2trokiing.
FTA: eheheheheheheh.
FCC: GLUBBING -------EWWWWW! 38(
FCG: SHUT THE FUCK UP, AS YOUR LEADER I WILL BROOK NO INSUBORDINATION.
FCG: WILL SOMEONE PLEASE MAKE WITH THE BANNING ALREADY?
FAA: 0k
FAA banned FCG from responding to memo.
FAC: :33 < *the fluffy kitty hisses in disappurrval at the robot lady*
FAC: :33 < that was mean :((
FUTURE gallowsCallibrator [FGC] 13 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
FGC: GUYS
FGC: TH1S 1S A S3R1OUS M4TT3R!
FGC: 1 KNOW K4RK4T 1S B31NG 4 GRUMPY STUP1DH34D BUT W3 N33D TO WORK TOG3TH3R
FAG: So? You're free to come join us any time.
FAG: You're not going to leave me alone and outnum8ered against Team Charge, are you? ::::D
FGC: 1M NOT T4LK1NG TO YOU >:[
FGC: 4R4D14 HOW C4N YOU 3V3N WORK W1TH H3R?
FAA: why n0t
FAA: we used t0 play t0gether
FGC: YOU KNOW V3RY W3LL WHY NOT >:[
FGC: 4FT3R 3V3RYTH1NG W3 H4V3 B33N THROUGH IT IS 4 R4NK B3TR4Y4L
FAA: y0u mean
FAA: a betrayal 0f myself
FGC: Y3S!
FGC: 1T 1S 4 M4TT3R OF JUST1C3. 1 THOUGHT YOU W3R3 MOR3 PR1NC1PL3D TH4N TH1S.
FCC: Terezi, I don't see w)(y we can't just all be friends again!
FCC: Our w)(ole world is gone. We're swimming in a sc)(ool of 12 now.
FCC: Even if mistakes were made, we can't afford to be anomenes anymore!
FGC: TH3 ONLY M1ST4K3 1 M4D3 W4S TRUST1NG H3R 1N TH3 F1RST PL4C3.
FGC: 4ND NOW YOU 4LL 4R3 M4K1NG TH3 S4M3 M1ST4K3! 1 C4NT B3L13V3 YOU GUYS.
FGC: 1 N4M3 YOU ALL TR41TORS AND COW4RDS. P4R4DOX SP4C3 R4NKL3S W1TH TH3 ST3NCH OF YOUR W34KN3SS. >:[
FGC ceased responding to memo.
FUTURE carcinoGeneticist 2 [FCG2] 14 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
FCG2: HAH, HAH. VERY FUCKING FUNNY.
FCG2: I WILL GRACIOUSLY OVERLOOK THIS TREASONOUS CONSPIRACY IN THE INTEREST OF EXPEDIENCE.
FCG2: I'M WAY TOO BUSY TO DEAL WITH YOUR SHIT RIGHT NOW.
FAG: Oh really. What are you so 8usy with, Karkaaaaaaaat?
FAG: Oh wait, you haven't actually done anything yet. 8ummer!
FCG2: SHUT UP, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE ACTING LIKE A REAL LEADER.
FCG2: I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET THIS SHIT ORGANIZED AND ASSEMBLE MY TEAM, NOT THAT YOU ASSHOLES ARE HELPING THINGS ANY BY REARRANGING THE TEAMS EVERY TWO HOURS.
FCG2: I'M JUST WAITING FOR KANAYA TO GET BACK TO ME AND THEN YOU'LL SEE THE SHIT REALLY START TO FLY.
FUTURE grimAuxiliatrix [FGA] 13 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
FGA: Er
FGA: I Apologize For The Unseemly Delay In Contacting You But There Is Something I Have Been Meaning To Talk To You About
FCG2: OH SWEET FUCKING MOTHER GRUB ON A CAKE.
FCG2: NO.
FCG2: FUCK NO.
FGA: I Am Sorry Karkat
FGA: It Just Felt Like My Talents Could Be Put To Better Use Here
FCG2: KANAYA, PLEASE. DON'T DO THIS TO ME.
FCG2: YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE SANE ONE, I NEED YOU.
FGA: Yes But I Believe I Am Needed Here As Well
FCG2: BULLSHIT. THEY'LL BE FINE WITHOUT YOU.
FCG2: NO ONE'S GOING TO DIE IF YOU DON'T GET TO PLAY TEA PARTIES AND DRESSUP.
FCG2: THIS IS ABOUT YOUR RETARDED GIRL CRUSH THING, ISN'T IT.
FAC: :33 < *the cute kitty purrks up from her catnap*
FAC: :33 < ooo oooh oooh who is it :33
FGA: Karkat
FGA: I Believe That Was Told To You In Strictest Confidence
FGA: I Am Appalled By This Flagrant Breach Of Conduct
FCG2: SHIT. SORRY, THAT WAS A MISTAKE, I JUST SLIPPED.
FGA: Oh Dear
FGA: My Middle Finger Seems To Have Slipped Into An Upright Position
FGA: It Seems To Accidentally Be Directed At My Computer Screen Which I Am Pretending Represents Your Face
FCG2: OKAY, YOU'RE MAD AT ME. I CAN RESPECT THAT.
FCG2: JUST SPEND SOME TIME CHILLING OUT, ALRIGHT? RELAX AND HAVE FUN WITH EVERYONE ELSE.
FGA: I Seem To Have Been Doing A Perfectly Acceptable Job Of That Before You So Rudely Inserted Yourself In My Private Affairs
FCG2: FINE. I'LL FIND SOME WAY TO MANAGE WITH FOUR PEOPLE.
FCG2: ME, TEREZI, AND ERIDAN, WE'RE A WELL OILED MACHINE.
FAT: wHAT ABOUT GAMZEE,
FCG2: WELL, HE'S OILY I GUESS. THAT'S KIND OF A START.
FCG2: FUCK, WHO AM I KIDDING, HE'S JUST DEADWEIGHT. YOU GUYS CAN HAVE HIM, HE'LL PROBABLY WANDER OFF SOON ANYHOW.
FCG2: BUT THE REST OF US, WE'RE GOING TO MAKE THINGS HAPPEN. YOU GUYS DO WHAT YOU WANT, WE'RE GOING TO WIN THIS MOTHERFUCKER.
FCG2: SOMEONE GO AHEAD AND BAN ME OR SOMETHING BEFORE I SAY ANYTHING ELSE STUPID.
FAG: Too late for that, sucker!!!!!!!!
FAA: d0ne
FAA banned FCG2 from responding to memo.
Terezi doesn't turn around to speak to her. Mentally, she's scrambling to think of something (anything) she can do to save her fellow survivors from the oncoming storm.
One, she cannot help but think as she tries to concentrate, that would not happen if I had done what I came here to do.
Kanaya does not respond at first. "I know you're there. Come out." She obliges, stepping out of the stairway access. She's been watching Terezi and Vriska this whole time, trying to decide whether or not to interfere before inaction on Terezi's part made the decision for her.
"Yes, Terezi?"
"We don't have a lot of time. Find Karkat and Sollux, and meet me at the transportalizer hub."
Kanaya nods and is gone before the afterimage of her glow dissapates in Terezi's mind's eye.
Elsewhere in the Veil, Karkat falls to the ground after narrowly dodging another swing taken at him by Gamzee. Sollux is attempting an escape but without any real way to navigate, he is not making much progress and he can still hear the clash of battle behind him. Gamzee pulls a new weapon from his strife deck, one Karkat hasn't seen before but can't stop staring at now. It is at once beautiful and terrible.
Gamzee hefts the warhammer to strike the killing blow and end this struggle. He swings it in a wide arc... and catches nothing but air. He looks around the room. Karkat has disappeared and he realizes he can't hear Sollux's footsteps anymore, either. He starts laughing to himself.
Motherfucking miracles, all up in this bitch.
Karkat isn't sure what just happened, only that he's slumped over someone or something moving at an impossibly fast pace, and Sollux is there too. It isn't until his captor sets them down carefully in the middle of the transportalizers that he realizes Kanaya is the one who saved him from the Bard of Rage. He opens his mouth to speak, relieved that his friend is still alive, somehow, but Terezi is there and she starts talking before he has the chance.
"There's not much time, so let's make this quick. Vriska is gone. I meant to kill her, but in the end I couldn't do it, and if we don't move fast we might all die here because she went to take on the Demon. She'll lose, and he'll follow her trail here and kill us all unless we move right this fucking instant."
She's pacing back and forth but she's all business as she makes her speech. "Sollux, you know where most of these transportalizers go. Do any of them point off this rock? Is there another asteroid we can escape to from here?"
He racks his brain, trying to remember exactly where in paradox space these things lead to. "I think so. Point me to the one leading to the computer room so I can get my bearings and I'll try to remember."
Karkat helps him up and leads him to that specific spot. Sollux takes careful, deliberate steps to measure out the distance before his feet kick up against one in the corner of the room. He grins and says, "This one. It's a smaller place, just a couple of rooms, but it's completely seperate from the main facility."
"Alright, then. Kanaya, Sollux, Karkat, take the transportalizer and get the hell out of here. I'll... I've got preparations to finish, then I'll follow you. Hurry!"
Kanaya and Sollux step atop the pad and disappear in a plume of fire and a quiet shoosh. Karkat watches as Terezi simply stands there, cane in hand.
"Go on, Karkles. You have to escape, too."
He moves to do exactly that, but before he sets foot on the device, he turns to steal another glance at Terezi. She hasn't moved from that spot.
"'Preparations to finish?' What are you planning, Terezi?"
She sighs. There's not enough time to argue with him over this. "When you leave, I'm going to destroy the transportalizer pad, so he can't follow you."
His heart leaps into his throat, and he needs a moment before he can speak. Even then, he can only manage a single word.
"But--"
"Go, Karkat. As far as he knows, we're all here. He's going to comb this place looking for us before he gets bored and destroys it outright. I'll face him alone, maybe I can buy you all some time, and if we're lucky, he'll think I'm the last one and give up the search."
She means to-- no. He can't allow this.
Terezi turns to him and smiles, actually fucking smiles. "It was... it was nice knowing you, Karkat. Really. I mean that."
The sound of the pad being torn open interrupts her. He is standing over the transportalizer, sparks flying out of the gash created by the black Regisickle in his hand.
"Karkat, why--"
"I can't let you do this alone. I won't let you do this alone. It's not fair."
"Kar--"
"This is my final act as leader, Terezi. To stand by you and see this through to the end."
She can't think of anything to say. There isn't really anything she can say to that.
Karkat approaches her, sickle in hand, ready for the Demon but he has no delusions that an encounter with the humans' Jack Noir is going to end in anything but his own death. He stands beside her and it's not long before a crash can be heard in the distance.
The Demon is here.
Terezi instinctively reaches for Karkat's hand. He's okay with that. When a series of honks is cut short by another explosion, he turns and embraces her.
The intermittent sounds of rending metal draw ever nearer. "Karkat?"
"Terezi?"
"I love you, Karkat."
"...I love you too, Terezi."
And so they resolved to meet their fates, together.
~*~
The green glow of the asteroid's explosion reflects off Vriska's face as she stands in stunned disbelief. Terezi was right, and she'd been too prideful to accept it, and now her friends were all dead. They would be the ones to pay for her arrogance.
Or would they? Terezi had to have a backup plan. She always had a backup plan. Vriska suddenly finds herself almost laughing in triumph. Jack, the idiot, he could destroy the lab all he liked. Terezi has probably gotten everyone halfway across the Veil by now! If Jack comes back and she kills him, crisis averted, and if she loses, then he leaves the Veil, thinking she's the last one, and her friends are rid of him forever. If she makes it out of here alive, she thought to herself, she'll personally congratulate Terezi for her foresight.
The air behind her hisses and crackles with static, and she catches a faint whiff of ozone. Jack has returned.
Vriska wheels around to face him, octet at the ready. "So, you came back! Didn't think you had the guts, you... goddamn... coward."
She catches sight of his red-stained arm and the teal-tinged blade lodged in his chest as Jack unceremoniously dumps something at her feet. Bodies. Two of them.
His abdomen is torn open.
Her torso is lined with stab wounds.
She stares at the two of them, unwilling to believe her eyes. What's a'matter, toots? Seein' red? No wait that's stupid, one of 'em bleeds that bluish green crap.
Throw the fucking dice, a voice in the back of her mind screams. Fuck, here, look, I invited a coupla your friends over, see? Wait goddamnit where's the joke in that one, lemme start over.
Their blood mingles on the platform, forming a sickly shade of purple as she finally moves her eyes from the grisly scene. Oh, here you go, I got one: here are your friends. I stabbed them to death. Care to join 'em?
The last thing that runs through Vriska's mind, before she is completely given over to fury, is that she never meant for any of this to happen.
Notes:
So how about that update! Yeah I admit I kind of teared up a little
I'm not mad though, in fact I congratulate Hussie on making me give a damn about these characters
A few people in a Homestuck thread on /co/ had the idea that Terezi had a plan to get the others out of their hideout safely but would stay behind to smash the teleportalizer, but Karkat would be like "MAN FUCK THAT" and stay with her, even if it means he dies too.
And because I'm a sucker, I wrote a fanfic based on it, though I doubt canon will be even close to this
I almost didn't post this, I mean it's kind of corny and lame and there's like a million other reaction fics dealing with this that do it better, but hey, I wrote it and here you go
This is a thing that's still getting written. It just took a long time. Time spent dicking around doing other things notwithstanding.
The Sapphire of Alternia, Part 27
“The Cutting Card?” Deferrer asks.
Sleuth nods.
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea.” Deferrer says.
“What? It’s not like you have to go inside.” Sleuth says. “You shouldn’t anyway. All the slots are rigged and the dealers cheat.”
“That’s not my point, Sleuth. The whole neighborhood is crawling with Slick’s thugs and Droog’s informants and Boxcars’ whores and Deuce’s ice cream men.” Deferrer says. “I get nervous when I drive there for normal fares. But right now I’m driving you, Sleuth, and you’re the most wanted man among thugs and murderers.”
“So what are you worried about?” Sleuth asks bluntly.
“Are you really this stupid?” Deferrer asks angrily. “Do you really think you’re the only one going into danger here?”
Sleuth opens his mouth but Deferrer doesn’t give him the chance to speak.
“What if they see me dropping you off and stop me somewhere else? The streets are designed to make it hard for cars to get through.”
Sleuth just waits.
“And I’ve got this fake king’s scepter hanging around my neck that’s still a priceless piece of jewelry and I’m taking it into a neighborhood full of criminals and you wanna ask me what I’m worried about?” Deferrer finishes and looks through the mirror intensely at Sleuth. “How about my life!”
Sleuth stares back.
“I can’t imagine what your mailwoman must be going through, what with the real White King’s Scepter hanging around her neck. And she’s not nearly as steely eyed about all this hardboiled nonsense as I am.”
“Pull over.” Sleuth says. “If you’re scared, just pull over. I’ll make it where I need to on my own.”
“Sleuth,” Deferrer says quietly.
“Well?”
Deferrer looks in the mirror. She doesn’t have anything to say.
“I never pretended this wasn’t going to be dangerous.” Sleuth says. “You said you didn’t care. You should’ve told me you did.”
Deferrer’s got an angry look on her face. “Don’t talk down to me, Sleuth. I’ll take you straight into hell. I won’t even complain about it.” She says. She shoots a terrifying glare into the mirror. “Happy?”
“Yeah.” Sleuth says. He’s not, really. He really didn’t want to have to do that to Transportation Deferrer, but he’s got places he needs to be. “Look,” He starts to apologize.
“No.” She says firmly.
That’s that, then.
Problem Sleuth and Transportation Deferrer sit in angry silence as she drives him to the Cutting Card Casino. It’s deep in a seedy but wealthy district of town. It’s filled to full with bars, clubs, restaurants, brothels, speakeasies, drug houses, and any number of other vices that can be sold along with a fancy place to sell them.
The Midnight Crew put a lot of money into the neighborhood, and their investment pays off. Compared to the Midnight Crew, the bankers in downtown earn a pittance making an honest living. As the rebellious elite of their former kingdom, the neighborhood’s earned a name they’re probably not too happy with: New Derse.
True to Deferrer’s word, the place is a maze of tiny two lane streets, and as a result foot traffic is the preferred method to get around. The streets serve an additional purpose than causing potential customers to walk past something they might be interested in. If the Midnight Crew ever need to withdraw to some place absolutely safe, all they need to do is head to their casino while their army of thugs and employees slow any enemies down and give them plenty of warning. All along the way as Sleuth and Deferrer drive, men give Sleuth dirty looks and women give him purrbeast calls. It’ll be a miracle if the Midnight Crew don’t already know Sleuth is on his way.
The Cutting Card Casino is immense and ornate and elaborate and impressive.
==>
You’d think a casino painted black wouldn’t draw so many customers. It’s the middle of the day and it feels dark out.
No expense was spared when the casino was built. Dozens of architects made dozens of drafts, each rejected until all restraints of reasonableness were discarded. Then, the Midnight Crew scrutinized them until they met their demanding standards of size, opulence, and above all else, whether an imposing enough symbol of their presence and power in their city. They succeeded. Overwhelmingly. The casino is one of the iconic silhouettes in the skyline of the city, and it sits in opposition to the skyscrapers in downtown.
==>
They’ve even got trees out here. Trees. Nothing says power like smuggling away a few specimens from a completely altruistic attempt to restore the planet funded by well-intentioned socialites.
Just to decorate a casino.
Deferrer slows down. Traffic is backed up a ways away from the casino. “Time for you to get out, Sleuth.” Deferrer says. “No way I’m getting near that place.”
All things considered it’s probably the best course of action. “Kicking me to the curb already?” Sleuth asks.
“Yes.” Deferrer says. “Get the hell out.”
“Sheesh.” Sleuth steps outside. Deferrer pulls the tightest u-turn Sleuth’s ever seen and drives away from the casino.
Sleuth starts walking. The sidewalk’s filled with all types of people, some headed away, but most headed towards the casino. Businessmen, gangsters, cops, factory workers. It’s the ultimate attraction in the city, which is exactly what it’s marketed as.
Sleuth makes his way through the thick throng and eventually ends up at a grand spades-shaped archway. He looks at the line of people waiting to get in. He walks past them all and muscles his way through the front doors.
The casino manager spots him making his approach. He summons two burly security guards and they block Sleuth’s way to the main floor of the casino. All eyes focus on him.
“Problem Sleuth, you know our longstanding policy concerning you.” The manager says. “Leave now or be forcibly escorted off the premises. We do not allow cheaters and troublemakers to disrupt the operations of this casino.”
“Yeah!” A man from the line shouts at him. “Wait your turn like everybody else!”
Sleuth ignores the peanut gallery and tucks his hands in his pockets. “I’m here to see Spades Slick.” He says to the manager.
The manager curls his wrists inwards and places them on his hips. He turns his head up slightly. “No one sees Spades Slick. Spades Slick sees them.” He says haughtily. “Now leave.”
Sleuth takes a quick glance at the line behind him. “You remember the last time you tried to keep me outside?”
The manager slumps slightly forward. He raises his hand and snaps his fingers twice. Two more security guards walk to the manager and flank the two guards already present. “Yes.”
Sleuth sighs. “I’m not leaving until I see Spades Slick.”
“Guards.” The manager orders.
One of the guards grabs Sleuth’s wrists.
“Let me go or I’ll ruin that nose of yours.” Sleuth says. He suddenly gives a friendly smile. “Oh, hi. You must be new. I don’t think I’ve broken your nose yet. It’ll be a pleasure.”
The guard is unimpressed. “Sure.” The guard says. He tugs on Sleuth’s arm.
Sleuth floors the guard with a quick jab. The crowd gasps.
Another guard wraps around Sleuth’s waist and tries to push him to the floor. Sleuth bashes the guard in the back of his head with his fist and loosens an arm around his waist. He throws the guard downward onto the floor and kicks him in the ribs.
The third guard pulls a gun. “Stop.” The guard orders.
Sleuth takes a quick step and pushes the guard’s hand upwards. The gun goes off, firing into the ceiling to screams from the crowd. Sleuth takes the gun out of his hand and punches the guard twice in the nose.
He points the gun at the fourth guard. “How much you wanna bet I know how to use this better than he does?” Sleuth says with a toss of his head at the third guard.
The guard’s hands shoot up.
Sleuth slams the gun on the casino manager’s podium and leaves it there. “When are you going to learn you can’t keep me out of here?” He says to the manager.
The casino manager has his wrists on his hips. “As if I truly expected four guards to stop you. As if Spades Slick expected the same.” The manager shoos Sleuth inward. “Go. You’ve earned your entrance in your typically brutish ways. Leave me be.”
“Thanks.” Sleuth says insincerely. Sleuth walks away from the casino manager to the main floor of the casino amidst jealous shouts from the line behind him.
“He is a special guest of the casino!” The manager attempts to explain to the angry crowd behind him.
Sleuth looks over the main floor. Gambling, gambling, gambling. There are at least twenty rows of slot machines, dozens of tables full of every card game, roulette tables, crap tables. There’s a constant consonant hum from all the slot machines playing their jingles at once and low murmuring from the patrons and excited shouting from the dealers and casino staff and occasional jackpot winner.
The lighting’s dim, partly to provide atmosphere, partly to make it easy for the Midnight Crew to sneak around the casino. It’s a long sprint from the main entryway to any sort of cover. The tables are thick and heavy, making it easy for short guys with knives or bombs to do flank attacks, and the slot machines are hardly any protection when crack shots can pick off any stragglers in between the long rows. The casino strikes Sleuth as incredibly defensible. Not surprising. It looks like a casino, but it’s really the fortress for the Midnight Crew.
Sleuth waits around a minute or two in case anybody’s home.
==>
One benefit to being the biggest pain in the ass in the city is that nobody makes you wait for very long. You wish you could say they were being polite.
You don’t know what’s going on now, though. You haven’t been forcibly escorted off the premises by someone who isn’t a complete chump yet. You’ve been waiting for, what, thirty seconds? It doesn’t take this long.
With nobody to attend to him Sleuth walks to the blackjack tables and pockets a few chips from a rich patron who isn’t paying close enough attention. He sits himself down at a nearby table. The dealer glares at him.
“Hello, sir.” The dealer says. “The game is blackjack.”
“Do I look blind to you?” Sleuth asks, sarcasm dripping from every word. “Do I look like the kind of guy who wouldn’t know a game of blackjack when I saw it?”
“Apologies, sir.” The dealer says. “But I had to make sure.” He says with a snide grin.
“Just deal the cards. And play fair.”
“We only know fair play at the Cutting Card.”
“Of course.” Sleuth pushes his chips forward. The dealer hands out cards. Sleuth gets an Eight of Hearts. Then his next card comes. The Jack of Spades.
==>
You hate that card.
It’s unlucky.
“Stand.”
The dealer reveals his cards. The King of Spades and the Ace of Spades.
“Cheater.” Sleuth accuses.
“The house wins.” The dealer says with a malicious grin. He takes Sleuth’s chips. “Always.” He points behind Sleuth.
Sleuth turns around in his chair. Spades Slick and Diamonds Droog are standing behind him. Both have a card ready in their hands.
“Are you the manager? The owner?” Sleuth asks. “I think your dealer’s a cheater here.”
“Really.” Droog says impassively. “Thanks for bringing that to my attention.”
“what the fuck are you doing here sleuth”
“What took you so long?” Sleuth asks. “What’s got you keeping me waiting?”
“oh nothing” Slick says. “just looking for you”
“And everyone you know.” Droog adds.
“didnt think i should look in my own casino. was the furthest thing from my mind” Slick says. “i thought to myself that problem sleuth would never be that stupid” He says with a creeping grin.
Sleuth lets the insult pass. “I came to talk.”
“good” Slick says. “we want you to talk. not all we want out of you though”
Sleuth has a pretty good idea of what Slick’s got on his mind. “I came to make a deal.”
“We’re not talking about it out here.” Droog says.
“yeah” Slick says. “bloodll probably scare the customers”
“Move it, Sleuth.” Droog says with a silenced pistol pointed at Sleuth. “The back rooms.”
“The back rooms where your staff works?”
“no” Slick says. “the back rooms where we work.”
An important distinction. The difference between life and death. Sleuth gets out of his chair and gets moving.
Droog’s and Slick’s walkie-talkies crack behind Sleuth as he walks through the main floor. “DROOG” Sleuth hears Boxcars shout with some interference.
“You find her?” Droog asks.
“NO” Boxcars says. “WELL YEAH BUT”
“But what?” Droog asks.
“THE SCRAWNY GIRL PULLED A SWORD ON ME”
Sleuth keeps himself from completely tensing up.
Droog takes a moment to process that. “You’re bigger than her.”
“WELL” Boxcars starts. “I GOT A BAD FEELING ABOUT THE WHOLE THING SO I JUST LET ER GO”
“a bad feeling” Slick butts in with his own walkie-talkie. “shes a tiny mail carrier what the fuck are you afraid of”
“This sets us back, Boxcars.” Droog says. “We need to find every friend of Sleuth to find out what they know and to use them as leverage agains-”
“SHE JUST ABOUT CUT MY DAMN HEAD OFF. AND I EVEN GOT THE DROP ON HER” Boxcars screams. “I DIDNT WANT TO GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE SO I GOT THE HELL OUT OF THERE”
“what the fuck boxcars” Slick shouts.
“You’re never living this down.” Droog says.
Sleuth opens a pair of double doors and walks through the kitchen. The kitchen staff must be used to this sort of thing happening because they barely even acknowledge Sleuth or Droog and Slick behind him.
“SHE REALLY WAS REALLY SCARY!” Deuce cracks in. “BOXCARS SAID IT WAS LIKE HE WAS WALKING OVER HIS OWN GRAVE. I THINK IF BOXCARS SAYS SOMETHING LIKE THAT SHE PROBABLY IS REALLY REALLY SCARY.”
“SHUT UP YA RUNT” Boxcars yells. “YOU WANTED TO SAY HI TO HER”
“Maybe you should have.” Droog says. “You could’ve nabbed her.”
“YER ONE TO TALK” Boxcars says. “HOWS FINDING SLEUTH GOING” He taunts.
Sleuth can’t see Droog, but he can guess he’s got something almost approaching a smug grin on his face. “Pretty well, I’d say.”
“hey sleuth” Slick asks. “you tell maillady to cut boxcars head off today”
“I haven’t talked to her today.” Sleuth says. “Why are you messing with the mail?”
“WHAT” Boxcars asks. “IS THAT SLEUTH”
“yeah”
“WHATS HE DOING THERE”
“good question” Slick says.
“He just showed up, as far as we can tell.” Droog says.
“IS HE STUPID” Boxcars asks. “LIKE I PUNCHED HIM TOO HARD IN THE HEAD STUPID”
“who knows” Slick says. “who cares”
Sleuth exits the kitchen to a bare corridor busy with employees. He walks to a door and heads inside. A narrow staircase heads up to the second level. He starts walking up.
“Where’re you and Deuce?” Droog asks.
“JUST OUTSIDE THE CASINO!” Deuce pipes in.
“WE STOPPED SLEUTHS CAB DRIVER” Boxcars explains.
Dammit. At least Maillady got away.
“YOU WANT ME AND DEUCE TO ROUGH HER UP”
“nah we need everyone for sleuth” Slick says. “if he doesnt talk well talk to her”
“Four men to handle one?” Sleuth asks.
Slick ignores Sleuth.
“Leave her with security for now.” Droog instructs.
“GOTCHA” Boxcars says. “WELL BE UP IN A MINUTE”
Sleuth walks through the door at the top of the staircase to another bare corridor. This one leads to the offices for the white collar casino employees. Sleuth walks down the corridor. A man with a pocket protector fearfully stands aside as Spades Slick and Diamonds Droog walk past.
“the fuck are you looking at” Slick snaps.
“You have yesterday’s earnings yet?” Droog asks as he walks past.
The man nervously looks between Slick and Droog. “N-n-no, not y-yet, Mr. Diamonds Droog, sir.”
Droog’s mouth curls imperceptibly downward. “Get that to me by the end of the day.”
“or else” Slick laughs.
“Stop doing that.” Droog lightly shakes his head at Slick.
“what” Slick asks. “it keeps them in line”
“Because accountants are a rowdy bunch.” Droog says. He pokes Sleuth in the back with his card. “I didn’t tell you to slow down. Get moving.”
Sleuth keeps walking. He turns down a corner. There, at the end of the corridor, just under a flickering fluorescent light, is Spades Slick’s office. The door is plain and serviceable. Even though he’s awash in money Slick doesn’t have expensive tastes.
Sleuth walks inside. It reminds him a lot of his hideout. It’s bare, save for a cheap desk littered with knives, various papers that have been cut apart, and crude carvings about several different people, all recipients of Slick’s hate at some point.
There’s a drain in the center of the room, just beneath a rusty folding chair that Slick seats guests. The floor is stained with blood leading into the drain.
The only luxurious piece of furniture is an upright piano tucked away in the corner of the room. Unlike everything else Slick has ever owned, it’s in pristine condition and hasn’t suffered decades of vandalism from his incurable boredom.
==>
Legend has it that the day the Scurrilous Straggler found piano is the day he became Spades Slick and the day the city was founded and the day the Midnight Crew was formed. That’s what he says at the start of his jazz gigs from time to time.
You have no idea if such a romanticized account has even a kernel of truth in it. It goes against everything you know about Spades Slick for him to take up an instrument and have enough patience to achieve his level of virtuosity. You figure he’d sooner stab it then play it.
Sleuth looks at the piano. The door slams shut behind him.
“yeah its a terrific piano” Slick says. “get your own”
“Why’d you start playing?” Sleuth asks.
“what” The question takes Slick by surprise.
“The piano.”
“i know what the fuck youre talking about” Slick says.
“Well?” Sleuth asks. He turns around. Droog is giving him a blank look.
Slick folds his arms. “i like it”
“You hate everything.”
“what the fuck do you want from me sleuth” Slick says exasperated. “cant a guy take up a hobby”
“There has to be more to it than that.” Sleuth says.
“You should probably stop prying.” Droog says.
“no no ill tell him” Slick takes a step forward. “are you the same man you were when you were exiled”
Sleuth doesn’t have to think long for an answer. “No.”
“then what the fuck is so surprising”
“So what made you change?” Sleuth starts smirking. “Was it that kid with the foul mouth? Did he make you go soft?”
Slick glares.
“You should really stop prying.” Droog says.
“So it was Snowman.”
Slick glares. “why did i think not jamming a blade in your gullet the moment i saw you was a good idea” Slick asks himself.
“Because he has something we want.” Droog pipes in.
“dammit droog” Slick snaps. “do you always have to be so insufferably logical”
“Just making sure you don’t do something you’ll regret.”
Slick turns to Droog. “i wont regret it”
“You think you won’t regret it.” Droog says. “But when the Felt have the Sapphire of Alternia you’ll wish you hadn’t killed Problem Sleuth.”
Slick narrows his eyes at Droog. “i think its about fucking time we got started then”
“We should wait for Boxcars and Deuce.”
“no” Slick shouts. “were doing it now”
“Slick,”
“shut up” Slick steps to Sleuth. “youve got one chance sleuth. dont be a smartass if you know whats good for you”
Sleuth looks back at Slick. “So what was it? Did you feel liberated, like you finally got to spread your wings, or did you just miss her that much?”
“Slick,” Droog says, voice full of caution.
“you had one chance” Slick readies his knife. “and you blew it before you even knew what the question was”
“Do you always warn people you’re about to stab?” Sleuth asks. “Did you learn that from that kid? He was a terrible leader. It took him foreve-”
Sleuth shakes himself out of a daze. He was ready for the knife thrust, not the uppercut.
“Slick,” Droog warns. “Don’t do it. I’m not gonna help you if you do.”
“shut up droog” Slick says. Slick starts rolling up his sleeves.
“Listen to Droog, Slick.” Sleuth says, rubbing his jaw. “If you keep this up, well, I’m not just gonna stand here and take it.”
Slick throws another punch. Sleuth ducks beneath it but the right hook hits him off guard.
“You hit me again and I get the hell out of here.” Sleuth says. “And you never find out what I came here for.”
Slick’s eyes narrow into a fierce glare. “i dont give a shit” Slick punches Sleuth in the gut. “i dont ever wanna see that-”
Sleuth throws a punch into Slick’s jaw, sending Slick stumbling backwards.
“-smucking firk” Slick finishes.
Sleuth tackles Slick into a wall. Sleuth starts throwing punches. “Any time you’re ready to talk, Slick.”
“droog” Punch. “shoot hi-” Punch. “him dammit”
Droog shrugs. “I warned you.”
“goddammit”
Slick growls incoherently. He lands a blow on Sleuth’s head and pushes Sleuth off of him. Sleuth trips over the folding chair but braces himself on the desk. He picks up the folding chair and swings it at Slick.
Slick blocks the swing and throws the chair away. Droog steps out of the way of the flying chair. Sleuth rushes at Slick and pins him to the wall by his shoulder and starts kicking his knee in. Slick grabs Sleuth’s neck and starts squeezing. “You ready yet?”
“over my dead body”
“Fine by me.”
“dammit droog do something”
Droog pockets his card and leaves the room.
“where the fuck are you going” He shouts as Droog leaves. “after i kill sleuth youre next droog”
“Should’ve listened to him, Slick.” Sleuth says between punches.
Slick screams at the top of his lungs. With a surge of furious strength he pushes Sleuth off of him to the center of the room. Slick punches Sleuth in the gut and then delivers a powerful uppercut as he screams in rage.
Sleuth stumbles backwards. He hits the wall and braces himself against whatever’s nearest. He’s got his hand on the piano. Slick’s got a shocked look on his face which quickly turns to a look of fury.
Slick grabs a knife from his desk and rushes at Sleuth. Sleuth turns and grabs Slick’s wrist and forearm as soon as he thrusts. The knife’s an inch away from sinking into his gut. Sleuth tries to push back, but the exhaustion from running all over town and fighting every mobster in the city is wearing on him. He won’t be able to keep it away from his gut for long.
“todays the day sleuth” Slick says with anticipation.
Sleuth smirks. The knife’s tip is through his clothes. “I hope you’ve got a good enough one-liner.”
Slick smiles. “ive been waiting to use this one” Slick says. “ive been waiting years for the day i get to tell you”
It’s pierced the surface of his carapace. It won’t be long before he’s tossed in a dumpster with a card stuck in his gut. “Let’s hear it.”
“you cant sleuth your way” Slick pauses, “out of this problem”
Sleuth starts chuckling, even though it hurts with a knife trying to make its way through his carapace.
“yeah” Slick says. “it was good right”
“Slick, do me a favor.” He says. Blood starts flowing from the wound. “A dying man’s last wish.”
“what” Slick asks.
“You gotta tell Dame,” Sleuth pauses. “That before I died, I thought of her.”
Slick nods somberly. “alright”
“And how awful she’d think that one-liner was.” Sleuth adds quickly. He’s got a knife about to tear up his insides but he’s got a huge grin on his face.
==>
People say you have a death wish.
You never understood why they said that until just now.
Slick growls. “shut the fuck up and die sleuth”
The door opens. Diamonds Droog returns with Hearts Boxcars and Clubs Deuce.
“EVERYBODY QUIT FIGHTING!” Deuce shouts. “LET ME HANDLE THIS!”
“ARE WE REALLY GONNA LET THE RUNT GIVE THE ORDERS RIGHT NOW” Boxcars asks Droog.
“Just go with it. He’s good at this sort of thing.”
“GET HIM AWAY FROM SLEUTH!” Deuce shouts. Boxcars and Droog comply. They approach Slick and Sleuth.
“oh good youre all back” Slick shouts. “now how about you all get the fuck away from me so i can kill sleuth”
“SORRY SLICK” Boxcars apologizes as he pushes the two of them away from each other. “NOT TODAY”
Droog reaches in and hooks two arms around Slick and pulls him away from Sleuth.
“dammit no”
“Quiet.” Droog snaps.
Sleuth quickly pulls his key out of his pocket and puts a hand over the bleeding wound. He points the gun at Slick’s head. “Keep him away from me. Or else I’ll paint this room red. I came to talk.” Sleuth smirks. “Guess I shoud’ve tried the diplomatic approach from the st-”
Sleuth collapses onto one knee. A stern looking Clubs Deuce with the Crook of Felony in his hands is glaring at him. “I SAID, EVERYBODY STOP FIGHTING!”
“He wasn’t planning on it. The key’s empty.” Droog points out.
“Dammit.” Sleuth curses. He stands up and puts his key in his pocket. He puts a hand on the bleeding wound.
“I DON’T KNOW WHY EVERYBODY IS TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER,” Deuce starts, pointing at Sleuth and Slick. “BUT I WON’T HAVE ANY OF IT UNLESS THERE’S A REALLY REALLY GOOD REASON FOR IT.”
“you want a good reason” Slick shouts. “he said karkat was a terrible leader”
Deuce looks at Slick blankly.
“The angry kid who hung around with Slick and swore all the time.”
Deuce looks at Droog blankly.
“THE RUNT WITH THE LITTLE NUBBY HORNS”
Deuce looks at Boxcars blankly.
“The Knight of Blood.” Sleuth throws out.
“OH, HIM!” Deuce exclaims. He turns to Sleuth angrily. “YOU SAID HE WAS A TERRIBLE LEADER? HOW COULD YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT?”
“so he should die right”
“NOT SO FAST.”
“We still need something from him.” Droog says.
“UM, YEAH!” Deuce says. “SO HOW ABOUT WE JUST TALK EVERYTHING OUT.”
“Works for me.” Sleuth says. “That’s what I came here for.”
“AND THEN LATER IF HE HAS IT COMING YOU CAN KILL HIM, SLICK.”
Sleuth rolls his eyes.
“fine” Slick relents. He shakes himself out of Droog’s and Boxcars’ grips.
“Thanks for the help, Deuce.” Droog says. He pulls a card out and points it at Sleuth. He motions to the folding chair. “Take a seat.”
Slick walks to his office chair and sits down. Sleuth rights the folding chair and sits down in it. The chair has seen better days, and only three legs meet the floor at any time. He idly wobbles back and forth, probably to Diamonds Droog’s annoyance. “So are you finally ready to talk?” Sleuth asks impatiently, hand still covering his wound.
“yeah yeah” Slick says as Droog takes position at his side against the wall. Deuce and Boxcars flank Sleuth. “what the fuck do you want”
“I’ve got the Sapphire of Alternia.” He says. He pauses, letting that sink in.
“we know” Slick says. “get the fuck on with it”
Sleuth continues. “I don’t want the thing and Wealthy Quantifier can’t pay me enough money to return it to her. But I know the Midnight Crew have deeper pockets than her. Much deeper. I think you may be willing to empty them to get it.” Sleuth says.
Slick narrows his eyes and raises a brow. “that sounds practiced. like youve said it before” Slick says. “oh you little shit you went and talked to snowman before me didnt you”
Sleuth’s taken off guard. He tries to think of an appropriate explanation. “Just because you’re obssessed with he-”
“dont try to lie i saw that look” Slick says. “you went all wide-eyed like i caught you lying”
“You don’t know what you’re talking abo-”
“why shouldnt i just kill you right now” Slick asks.
Sleuth’s taken aback. “You were just trying to kill me.”
“that was personal” Slick says. “now were talking business”
“Because I didn’t see Snowman.”
“droog”
Droog shakes his head.
“boxcars”
Boxcars shakes his head.
“deuce”
“I BELIEVE HIM!” Deuce says. “WHY WOULD HE LIE ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT?”
Slick drags his hand across his face. “you know what we do to double dealing trash like you” Slick asks. He points to the blood stain on the floor. “we kill them in case that wasnt completely obvious”
“Dammit, Slick!” Sleuth pounds the desk. “I didn’t go see her!”
“how is the bitch anyway” Slick asks. “is she still beating the shit out of that crowbar wielding sack of shit”
“You’re not listen-” Sleuth says. “Wait, are you jealous?”
“what” Slick says. “no fuck no you cant get any more not jealous than me good riddance shes his fucking problem now”
“But not yours. The way it used to be.” Sleuth says. He folds his arms before he remembers he’s still bleeding. “So you do miss her.” Sleuth says, trying to subdue his triumphant smile.
“fuck this” Slick stands up from his desk. He storms out of the room. The door slams behind him.
Sleuth turns to look at the door when Boxcars slaps the back of his head. “YA MORON” He says. “DONT YA KNOW NOT TO TALK ABOUT SNOWMAN EVEN IF HE BRINGS IT UP”
“Sleuth’s too smart not to abuse something like that.” Droog says.
“BUT DOESNT HE HAVE AN OUNCE OF DECENCY” Boxcars asks. “WE DONT TALK ABOUT HIM AND DAME TO HIS FACE”
“He’s Problem Sleuth. He makes a living out of being a pain in the ass.”
“What’s the story with him and Snowman?” Sleuth asks.
“YA SEE” Boxcars starts.
“Don’t.” Droog says. “He won’t be happy if you tell Sleuth and Sleuth doesn’t need to know.”
“FINE” Boxcars says. “YOU TELL HIM”
“No.”
“REMEMBER WHEN YOU HAD ME FOLLOW BOTH OF THEM AROUND THE PALACE AT DERSE?” Deuce says to Droog.
“Yeah. I’m surprised you do.” Droog says. “But quiet down about it. Not with Sleuth in the room.”
Deuce runs to Sleuth, ignoring Droog. “SLICK AND SNOWMAN USED TO FIGHT ALL THE TIME. THEY’D STAND REALLY CLOSE TO EACH OTHER AND JUST GLARE INTO EACH OTHERS’ EYES. THEY WOULD SPEND DAYS LOOKING AT EACH OTHER LIKE THAT. AND THIS WAS FOR YEARS! EONS EVEN! THEY MUST HAVE REALLY HATED EACH OTHER TO DO THAT FOR AS LONG AS THEY DID.”
“IT WASNT HATE” Boxcars mumbles.
“It sure as hell wasn’t love.” Droog says.
“WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT LOVE DROOG” Boxcars says.
“It’s what Slick told me at the time.”
“AND WHAT DO YA THINK HE TOLD ME”
The door slams back open and everybody shuts right up. All eyes in the room focus awkwardly on Spades Slick as he walks around back to his desk. He takes a seat and scoots in the chair. It creaks loudly against the floor. He looks at the rest of the Midnight Crew. “watcha guys talking about”
“NOTHING”
“Nothing.”
“YOU AN-”
Boxcars reaches across Sleuth and slaps a hand over Deuce’s mouth.
“good” Slick says. He clears his throat and looks at Sleuth. “i think its about time we start over”
“But what about you and Snowman?” Sleuth says.
Boxcars slaps his face. Droog’s shoulders slump minutely as he glowers. Deuce looks at the wall completely obliviously.
“dammit sleuth were not talking about this. you came here to make a deal so make it” Slick says. “and theres four of us and one of you so what the fuck am i even doing letting you control the conversation”
“So you’re just gonna leave your little outburst unexplained?” Sleuth asks. “She’s obviously still on your mind.”
“yeah” Slick says. “shes a rival. its my job to think about her”
“I’ve worked a lot of cases. Some about businessmen screwing each other over. Some about gambling debts. A lot of them about trouble with you. But most of them are about a man and a woman.” Sleuth says. “I’ve seen a lot of burned lovers. You fit the bill perfectly. You can’t pretend it’s anything else. So, Slick, what’s the story?”
Slick looks at Droog. He shrugs. Slick looks at Boxcars. He shrugs. Slick looks at Deuce. He cleans his ear with his finger. “fine. you wanna know about me and snowman” Slick asks. “ill tell you”
Sleuth smiles. Then frowns.
==>
But if he tells you about it what are you gonna use to provoke him in the future?
Oh, right. He’s Spades Slick. Still though, you doubt anything’ll get him as angry as quickly as Snowman does.
Oh, who are you kidding. You’re probably thinking too far ahead. The future? That’ll be a great thing for you to see.
“she started it. and ended it just as quickly” Slick says. “she told the black king about it. guess where all the shit landed”
“That’s all?”
“thats the short version” Slick says. “the long version is that after that happened there wasnt a day i didnt want to stab her”
“She made the first move?” Sleuth asks.
Slick nods. “can you blame her” Slick asks. “with a guy like me around im surprised it took as long as it did” Slick says with a cocky smile.
“What’s the real reason?”
“fuck if i know” Slick says. “she was lonely. she missed a mans touch. she wanted to fuck with me. maybe figuratively. maybe literally. who knows”
“Why’d she break it off?” Sleuth asks.
“fuck if i know” Slick says. “she said i wasnt even half the man her husband was. if that was true ive got no fucking clue why she even bothered with it in the first place. i think she was just making up excuses”
“I TOLD YOU TO KISS THE GIRL”
“shut the fuck up boxcars” Slick snaps. “if i took your advice the black king wouldve had my head”
“SHE WANTED IT SLICK”
“i thought i told you to shut the fuck up”
“THEN HOW COM-”
“i dont care how much you think she wanted it. whatever she did after she told the black king she did to try and trap me and get me killed”
Snowman is an incredibly seductive woman. Sleuth’s heart is racing just thinking about what she might try to get Slick to give in knowing it’d be his funeral. “Is that why you teamed up with the Knight and exiled her?” Sleuth asks, moving on.
“what” Slick asks. “no
“That was always the plan.” Droog says.
“i wouldve done that anyway even if she wasnt busy making my life a living hell” Slick’s glazed look finally disappears as he snaps back from memory. He turns to Sleuth. “did you write all of that down. i hope you were taking notes”
“Yep.” Sleuth says. “This’ll be in the tabloid by tomorrow.” He spreads his hands in imitation of a headline. “The sordid past of the crime lords of the city, revealed in shocking detail. Inside on page A5.”
Slick gives Sleuth a half smile through a glare. “great” Slick says. “where the fuck were we”
“You were about to kill Sleuth for double dealing with the Felt.” Droog answers.
“oh right” Slick says. “droog kill him”
Sleuth shakes his head. “Not if you ever want to see the Sapphire of Alternia. Don’t think I haven’t covered all my bases about this, Slick. I have.” Sleuth bluffs. Sleuth really bluffs. If the Midnight Crew spent a minute with Deferrer they’d know exactly what he’s up to. And if they were just a bit braver with Maillady, well, Sleuth is glad that didn’t happen. Sleuth’ll hopefully coast by on reputation.
“well fuck sleuth” Slick says. “if youre double dealing with the felt then were not gonna see it anyway. you might as well be dead”
“Except I’m not double dealing with the Felt.” Sleuth tries to sell convincingly. “You know I’d never offer those green cockroaches a deal like this.”
Slick narrows his eyes as he thinks it over. Slick leans back in his seat and idly taps a knife on his desk. “alright” He says. “lets say i believe all that. how much money are we talking about”
“One hundred big ones.”
Slick jams the knife straight through the desk to the grip. Even Droog is a little surprised by the number. “what you think were made of money”
“This is your casino, right?” Sleuth asks, pointing around the room. “You have to keep that sort of cash around just to make this place run.”
“yeah yeah so what if we do” Slick says. “thats still a lot of money”
“And look at what you get in return.” Sleuth says. “You could rule this city uncontested. Smash Doc Scratch right up.”
Everyone in the room save Clubs Deuce shares an amused chuckle. They’re laughing at Sleuth but he doesn’t know why. Slick signals Droog to lean in closer and they whisper to each other. Sleuth can’t make out exactly what they’re saying but he’s got a pretty good idea.
He’s full of shit. Yeah, I know. Should I just have Boxcars smash his head in? Nah, we still don’t know where the Sapphire of Alternia is. So I can’t just kill him now? No, sorry, Slick. Goddammit. Well, fuck, how are we on our other leads? Dead in the water. We got his cab driver, but who knows how much she knows. Should we go torture her right now for information? Sleuth’s right here, Slick. No shit, Droog. I can see him too. No, my point is we should try to get as much out of him as we can before we move on. So, rough him up a little. Yeah, that’s what I was thinking.
Slick turns to Sleuth. “thats the biggest load of musclebeastshit ive ever heard” Slick says. “do you think im stupid”
“Yeah.” Sleuth casually nods.
Slick pulls a knife on his desk for a throw. Droog grabs his arm before he can throw it. “Slick, we just went over this.”
Slick puts the knife down. “where is it sleuth” Slick asks. “wheres the sapphire of alternia”
Sleuth shakes his head. “You think I’d give it up that easy?” Sleuth says. “Not a chance.”
“exactly the sort of answer i was hoping to hear” Slick says. “boxcars” Slick orders.
Sleuth ends up on the floor, the side of his head throbbing and his hat resting on Deuce’s shoes.
“get up sleuth” Slick says. “cant talk to you while youre on the floor like that”
Sleuth reaches for his hat and slowly picks himself up off the floor. He sits himself back down in the folding chair and puts his hat back on. “You know me well enough I’m not gonna tell you anything if I don’t want to.”
“yeah i know. but fuck if its not fun” Slick says. “where is it sleuth”
“Safe.” Sleuth says. “You’re not gonna find it and I’m not gonna tell.”
“boxcars”
Sleuth picks himself up from the floor again.
“tired yet boxcars”
“NOPE” Boxcars says. “I COULD DO THIS ALL DAY”
“what about you sleuth” Slick asks.
Sleuth glares. “Try me.”
“you can tell us anytime” Slick says. “well let you walk right out of here”
Sleuth shakes his head. He picks himself up off the floor again. “Face it, Slick.” He says, gripping his abdomen and rubbing his head. “I’m the only chance you’re ever gonna get to get the Sapphire of Alternia.”
Slick stands up from his desk, he pulls a card from his coat and walks around the desk. He thrusts quickly. Sleuth reacts slowly, and throws a hand to stop Slick’s knife a half second too late. The knife lands in his flank, a bloody gash splitting open. “well get closer and closer until you tell me where it is”
Sleuth shakes his head.
Slick thrusts again but Sleuth is ready. With a sudden burst of speed and strength he grabs Slick’s hand and twists his wrist, disarming Slick and putting the knife in his hand in one smooth motion. He turns the knife around and thrusts it at Slick. Slick twists his body away from the thrust and performs the same maneuver on Sleuth. The knife clangs to the ground.
The rest of the Midnight Crew have their weapons aimed and pointed at Sleuth. Sleuth smirks. “Sorry, Slick. You can’t torture it out of me.” Sleuth says. “Either kill me right now or take the deal. There’s no middle ground.”
Slick glares. He’s lost the momentum in the interrogotiation. He slinks back to his desk and sits himself down. “tell me the details” Slick says.
“Midnight. Alternia Park.” Sleuth says. “You bring two hundred thousand and I bring you the Sapphire of Alternia.”
“it was one hundred thousand you fucking cheat”
“Medical bills don’t pay themselves. I’m gonna have a lot of them now, no thanks to you.” Sleuth says. “And what’s two hundred thousand to you guys anyway?”
“Five percent of our gross revenue.” Droog says.
“Barely anything at all.” Sleuth smiles.
Slick thinks it over. He looks at Droog. Droog lightly shakes his head. Slick looks back at Sleuth. “alright sleuth” Slick says. “youve got yourself a deal”
“Needless to say if you pull a fast one I’ll put a bullet in your head myself.” Droog says.
Slick nods in agreement. “you got that sleuth” Slick says. “your life depends on us getting the sapphire of alternia. dont fuck with that”
Sleuth nods as he holds onto his two separate minor stab wounds. “Gotcha.”
“lets get him the fuck out of here” Slick says as he stands up from his desk. “i dont want him stealing from the place again on his way out”
Boxcars roughly grabs one of Sleuth’s arms and yanks him out of the chair. Deuce skips out of the room ahead of everyone. Droog tucks his hands into his pockets as Slick follows behind.
They escort Sleuth out of Slick’s office, down the corridors and stairs. They turn through the main service corridor and exit through the loading dock.
“aww what the fuck”
Slick looks at two security guards nervously looking at loud revving noises. They’ve got gashes in their arms and chest. Sleuth smiles.
“What happened?” Droog quickly asks the two guards.
“She pulled a pneumatic wrench from nowhere!” One of the guards explains.
“And she didn’t hesitate to use it.” The other adds.
Across the employee parking lot, Transportation Deferrer is busy unscrewing the bolts off of the tires of employee vehicles. A dozen cars and a half dozen trucks are resting on the ground with various amounts of tires missing. She notices Sleuth from far away and waves.
The Midnight Crew carry Sleuth to her.
“Heya, boys.” She says as she twirls her tire gauge around her fingers. “Like what I’ve done with your cars?” She says with a mischievous grin.
“DIDN’T SOMETHING LIKE THIS ALREADY HAPPEN WITH OUR CARS?” Deuce idly asks.
“so youre sleuths cab driver” Slick says.
Deferrer nods. “Pleasure to meet the legendary Spades Slick.” She extends a hand for a shake.
Slick glares at it. “how much does she know sleuth”
“She’s my cab driver, Slick. I don’t bare my soul to her.” Sleuth says.
“We should see what she knows anyway.” Droog says.
Deferrer straightens up. “Thank you for not roughing Sleuth up too much but I think it’s time we leave.” She says hastily as she reaches for Sleuth’s arm.
Slick grabs hold of her arm. He turns to Sleuth. “you sure she doesnt know anything” He says menacingly.
“Let me go.” Deferrer says tensely.
“I’ve kept her in the dark for just these sorts of situations, Slick.” Sleuth says. “She doesn’t know anything.”
“i think youre a liar sleuth”
“She’s not involved.” Sleuth says.
“well if shes not important” Slick starts.
“If you lay a finger on her I’ll kill all-”
A card falls out of Slick’s sleeve and it runs straight into Deferrer’s gut. “i guess i can kill her if i feel like it”
Problem Sleuth: Kill the Midnight Crew.
Sleuth roars. He rips himself out of Boxcars’ grip, knocks Slick straight to the ground and gets ready to do the same to Droog when there’s a heavy tug on his sleeve. “Can you kill them all later?” Deferrer quietly asks, holding one hand to her stomach and another to Sleuth’s shoulder to hold herself up.
Slick laughs as he sits himself up on the ground. “we still on for tonight”
Sleuth scoops up Deferrer and starts walking quickly toward her cab. “Three hundred thousand now.” Sleuth shouts angrily behind him. “Four hundred thousand if you don’t want to die.”
“two fifty” Slick shouts as he laughs. “final offer”
“Fine!” Sleuth shouts.
“see you tonight then sleuth” Slick laughs. “finally i got to fucking stab somebody” Sleuth hears Slick mutter as he walks to the car.
He opens the passenger door and seats Deferrer gently inside. He takes off his coat and presses it against the wound. He puts Deferrer’s hands on top of it, indicating to her to do the same. He rushes around to the driver side door and steps inside. Deferrer hands him the keys.
He starts the car and puts the car in reverse when her head slumps onto his shoulder. “How bad is it?” She asks.
He pulls out of the parking spot and bumps his head on the roof as the car runs over a loose tire. “I’ve seen people live through worse and die from less.” Sleuth says. “Depends a lot on the person. You willing to tough it out?”
“Of course.” She tries to say with enthusiasm. “I’ve got to collect your tip. Can’t wait to see how big it’ll be.”
“Guess I’ll take the long way to the hospital.”
Deferrer doesn’t say anything. “Don’t be an asshole right now, Sleuth.”
Sleuth nods. He’s not sure if Deferrer can see it. He drives out of the employee lot and starts making his way through the heavy two lane traffic to the hospital.
Remember when I said 6000 words was too big for a segment? Yeah, whatever. This one clocks in at almost 8000.
This is just a bunch of Midnight Crew fluff, to mirror all the Felt fluff that happened not too long ago. I had a lot of trouble writing this humongous thing, and had to rewrite a bunch of stuff a bunch of times, most recently the part where SS talks about Snowman. There's a lot of stuff here, and there are probably a bunch of improvements I could make and a few things worth snipping, but I've been working at it long enough and I think it's in decent enough shape.
So, I shake things up at the end there. Mostly in reaction to my own criticism against this thing about nobody really being in any danger ever. And about how there are all these vicious, threatening characters that never make good on any vicious threats.
I'm still around, but a couple pages behind on fics. When I catch up I'll make some comments. No idea when that'll happen.
Personally, I kinda think FieryBlacksmith's was better. But anyway, probably going to be writing more AU stuff for a while. Because at least in AU no one is dead unless you want them to be.
D'aw. You guys. All three of you.
But I really seem to have launched a series of fics in which the last trolls kick the pail...
JIM. ILU. This was just so fantastic. I love Clubs Duece so so much. Also, we seem to be thinking along similar lines with the Slick/Snowman thing, because... well, it sounds a lot like Coward o_o I don't think it's that uncommon an idea, though, is it?
Been a while, here is a thing I have been working on. It's getting kind of hairy already, trying to do a few different things and it's only a third or so of the way done, so feel free to critique.
Yeah, so this is pretty much my first fan fiction since I was 13, after I said I'd never write one again because they were so idiotic :P Still I'm pretty sure this is going to become a really good story, after chapter 5 or 6 at least, when all of the details are finally set up.
I also don't care about the color coding at all because I'm too lazy to correct all that crap :P
Jade Harley was sitting on her bed, holding a bunny that she and her pen pal had recently built to send to her friend John Egbert. Suddenly, her computer rang out, signifying that someone was trying to contact her on Pesterchum, her preferred instant messaging client. She opened up Pesterchum and was surprised to find that the unknown chum was actually an internet troll. There were so many trolls out there, and they all seemed to specifically target her! Despite the annoyance, she decided to respond to the cyber bully.
cuttlefishCuller [CC] began trolling gardenGnostic [GG]
CC: Glub glub glub glub glub!
GG: oh...
GG:
CC: )(ey, take it easy!
CC: I'm not )(ere to give you a )(ard time like my buddies )(ave been
GG: but youre a troll
GG: and thats what trolls do!
GG: even when they say they wont
GG: sometimes especially!
CC: Ok t)(en, you can be t)(e judge of t)(at. I won't be long!
CC: I've just come to say a couple t)(ings.
CC: FIRST!
CC: None of t)(is is really your fault!
CC: T)(is is swimmingly obvious to everyone )(ere w)(o takes a glubbing moment to t)(ink about it rationally.
CC: W)(ic)( isn't many of us! But still.
What? What the hell? What was her fault? And what was up with all of the annoying fish puns? This was all so confusing.
GG: ok...
GG: even though i still have no idea what youre talking about
CC: I mean, your lusus jumped rig)(t in t)(ere to save you!
CC: Just like mine did.
CC: Well ok, mine was dead at t)(e time. 38(
CC: And s)(e just kind of...
CC: F-ELL IN!
CC: Kinda drifted down like fis)(food, and POW, GL'BGOLYBSPRIT-E.
CC: )(e)(e)(e)(e)(e)(e)(. S)(e was so funny.
GG: whats a lusus!
CC: It's a big ol' monster custodian you grow up wit)(!
CC: S)(-E-ES)(, )(ow freaking retarded do you )(ave to be not to know somet)(ing like t)(at?
CC: I'm joking, of course. 3
GG: :\
Jade did not like this at all. Was cuttlefishCuller really being sincere about this gobbledygook? It was so hard to tell and it made her feel very uncomfortable…
CC: I wanted to glub somet)(ing -ELS-E to you well before you started playing.
CC: Just to get t)(e idea in your )(ead!
CC: I am Feferi, by t)(e way. Abdicated empress to be!
Feferi? What kind of name was that? Not American, at least. Maybe it was Mongolian or something? Did they even have trolls in Mongolia? Why would the Princess of Mongolia be an internet troll anyway?
GG: ok feferi. what is it?
CC: Soon I will go to sleep and speak to t)(e gods.
CC: I will convince t)(em to establis)( a series of stable dream bubbles, w)(ere we can meet in our sleep!
Gods, Dream Bubbles…? What was this she didn't even… The confusion factor increased significantly as the conversation went on, and Jade continued to ask herself far too many questions for her own good. Though, given the strange circumstances, anyone would act as befuddled, she hoped.
GG: i dont understand
GG: whats a dream bubble?
CC: YOU'LL S-E-E! 38D
GG: ugh
GG: feferi i thought you said you were going to stop using your typing quirk!
CC: Did I?
CC: When?
GG: i dont know... im sure i remember you said that
CC: )(mm.
CC: Jade, t)(is is t)(e first time we )(ave ever talked!
CC: Isn't it?
Uh… Wait, what? _ Befuddled x2 Combo…
GG: oh
GG: yeah it is
GG: i dont know what i was thinking...
GG: i just had a major case of deja vu!
CC: W)(at's t)(at?
GG: i felt like we already had this conversation
GG: actually
GG: it still sort of feels that way
GG: its not going away
CC: Well, maybe we did!
CC: )(ey, by t)(e way.
CC: W)(at exactly are you doing t)(ere wit)( t)(at toy?
CC: You never did explain it to me!
GG: ummm
GG: what do you mean i never explained it to you?
GG: if this really is the first time we talked, why would i have?
CC: Good point.
CC: Maybe I'm feeling it too.
CC: I )(ave... w)(at was it? Orca vu?
GG: XO
GG: feferi that one was a stretch even by your fish punnery standards
GG: aaah why do i know that you like to make fish puns?
CC: 38?
GG: actually
GG: i do remember this conversation
GG: it was in the past!
GG: but if it was in the past, then where am i now?
CC: In the future! Duh.
GG: so what is going on?
GG: i dont think i am asleep...
GG: i am not on prospit
CC: Yes, you are asleep. But your dream self died, just like mine, remember?
GG: oh...
GG: vaguely
CC: Now you don't dream about Prospit. You have normal dreams!
GG: so this is a dream?
CC: It is a dream, and a memory. It is the past, brought back to life by a witch! It's all those things.
CC: Although we are getting off the script here!
CC: This is not how the conversation originally went, obviously.
CC: You were a lot less patient with me! When I was just trying to ENCOURAGE you.
Ah, now it made much more sense. Jade began to finally remember all the things that happened in real life. She had just entered the medium after her best friend Bec prototyped himself and destroyed the meteor that was headed for her island. Everything went dark, but as she ascended into the incinisphere, she saw snow for the first time in her short life.
GG: sorry
GG: i think
GG: i am in the game now, right?
CC: Sure!
CC: Hey, why don't you tell me about this cool robot bunny you we're making?
CC: I've been pretty glubbing curious about it!
CC: Mind if I take a look?
GG: um
Feferi suddenly appeared in her bed next to her. The fishy troll grabbed the bunny and cuddled with it as they chatted right next to each other.
CC: It's great!
CC: Wish I could make something like this. Never had the gills for technology.
CC: Hard to work with under water!
GG: why are you here!
GG: are you asleep too?
CC: Nope!
CC: I woke up from my nap a while ago.
CC: Remember how I woke up and then messaged you? You had just had a bad dream!
CC: And I told you there was nothing to be scared of.
CC: Which there isn't!
GG: oh yeah
GG: i do remember that
GG: then why are you here now?
Feferi turned her head and looked into Jade's eyes. But something was wrong. She had no pupils. Blankly staring at Jade with a menacing smile, she finished their conversation and Jade's dream.
CC: Because, stupid.
CC: I'M D-EAD!
Jade woke up. She needed to stop falling asleep...
Jade hopped out of bed. For some reason, her bed was floating several meters in the air, and was also outside. But that didn't matter. All her attention was focused on the blanket of white that had appeared all over her previously tropical island. The snow was quite deep, all the way up to her waist, and the snowfall was still continuing. She scanned the area and gazed in awe at this frozen wonderland. It was just… vast. There was no other word to describe it. Not colorful, no particular emotions to describe it, just vast and covering everything. Green and yellow auroras also streaked across the sky playfully, but something was just a bit unsettling about them.
Jade realized that she left her computer back at the tower. She had wanted to contact John, but she lacked any communication devices whatsoever. This was bad. Being caught without a computer is one of the worst possible actions. What if some grimdark monster suddenly wants to attack you and you're too weak to fight back, but you have no way of getting help? You're screwed, that's what. She had to climb up to the atrium immediately-
Good thing her grandpa had taught her to carry her rifle at all times, because something nefarious was stalking her and was readying itself for a sneak attack. It was time for a…..
Strife! 888
Trying her best to aggrieve this imp, she rapidly fired several shots. Apparently, these mooks had obtained Bec's teleportation abilities, as they suddenly transported to several different locations across the incinisphere. She paid little attention to the scenery as she blasted away, trying to concentrate during heat of the strife, but the stupid thing wouldn't die! A few minutes of useless ammo depleting, they were back where they started, area-wise, and absolutely no farther, progress-wise.
Bec finally decided to draw the strife to a close. He created a nuclear explosion on the imp. Good dog. Best friend.
Time to advance on the echeladder! This was Jade's first level-up, so she advanced from the measly Greentike rung to the somewhat more respectable Kiddo Eclipse rung. Not much better, but hey, at least it was something. She would have gotten more experience if she was actually able to kill the imp herself. She'll try to do that next time. In the meantime…. Oh no! She forgot to thank her best friend!
"Thanks Bec! Good boy!" she told her dog. Now that he was a sprite, his power had increased immensely, which was hard to fathom considering his near-omnipotence before being prototyped in the first place! She had noted from her time as Dave's server player that sprites could also talk to their respective player via a mysterious form of communication called the "Sprite Log". Definitely not a way to avoid text bubbles… Wait huh… Jade had no idea what sensation just came over her… Less meta, more talking-to-Becsprite-ta!
Sprite Log- Jade Harley and Becsprite
JADE: soooooo...
JADE: can you talk now?
JADE: what do you have to say
BECSPRITE: …
…
After several seconds of intense gamma radiation dosage, Jade had realized that being able to talk to Bec was not a complete benefit. She would try to keep conversations with her sprite to a minimum from then on…
Chapter 2
Chapter 2
Becsprite transported Jade back to her home. It was a good thing, too, considering the fact that the tower was hundreds of feet in the air. Even with the transportalizers, it would have taken at least two minutes to travel up to the top! She was now in the Grand Foyer… which was on the bottom floor. Meh.
…
Jade noticed a severe lack of electrons, neutrons, and protons in this room. More specifically, those belonging to the stuff in the room!
Sprite Log- Jade Harley and Becsprite
JADE: what happened in here?
JADE: where is everything? all the globes and houseguests...
JADE: and the cruxtruder?
JADE: and grandpa?
JADE: bec, what did you do!
JADE: has someone been a bad dog?
JADE: wait never mind, please dont answer that!
JADE: _
This was going to be a loooooooong adventure…..
Jade's atrium was completely destroyed. John had defiled it to place the SBURB game objects like the alchemiter, ruining her garden. He even personally dumped the pumpkins…. That she thought she remembered growing….She forgot the point she was making? But the Alchemiter and Totem Lathe were destroyed when she entered the medium! Now all of the sacrifices her plants had to make were meaningless…. Meaningless….
Meaningless… O_0_o_-_,_._
Yeah, at least her lunchtop was saved. Those… pleasant Squiddle faces staring on the cover…. "Let's be tangle buddies," they said… That is not what they really meant… She then thought about replacing the image with the Manthro-Chaps instead. But she needed to stop thinking about the bad things in life and focus on getting through this game! And she would start by messaging Dave Strider, resident coolkid, who had been trying to get ahold of her for a while now.
- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] -
TG: hey
TG: welcome to the medium finally i guess
He's such a coolkid!
GG: hey!
GG: last time i talked to you i was asking for help and you were just nakking at me
GG: what was up with that bro?
TG: ok i dont know what youre talking about it was probably just some horrorterror chirping at you during one of your nap bubble mindfucks
Why Dave says silly things like that, Jade will never know. Maybe it takes a lot more work to be a coolkid than she thought previously? Probably.
TG: its not the point i just wanted to say
TG: i just saw you
GG: you did?
TG: yeah
TG: you appeared for a second
TG: shooting at an imp
TG: then you disappeared
GG: ohhhhhhh
GG: yes, i did get around during that battle didnt i?
GG: it was really intense!
GG: those stupid things are impossible to kill
TG: no you can kill them
TG: youll get better dont worry
GG: in the heat of the fray i didnt notice you!
GG: where were you?
TG: three places
TG: i remember seeing you twice before in different locations
TG: but at the moment im standing in the middle of this snowy goddamn field freezing my shit off
TG: just wanted to see if you were cool
GG: yeah im fine, thanks for asking!
GG: what do you mean you remember seeing me?
GG: was i jumping through time or something?
TG: no i was
TG: this is future me
TG: one of the future mes that is
GG: youre from the future?
TG: yeah jade thats what future me means
GG:
GG: john told me you have been doing some time traveling
TG: yeah
GG: that is...
GG: really really awesome!
TG: its ok
TG: hey its pretty fucking cold
GG: i knoooooow
GG: it is a really neat place but its freeeeezing
TG: so im gonna go some place warm be back in a while later
GG: wait!
GG: dave!
GG: uuugh stupid lousy cool dudes
Jade really liked talking to Dave, but coolkids are usually exempt from having to care about stuff like that.
- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] -
TG: ok im back
TG: an hour later
GG: an hour?
TG: an hour for me
TG: a second for you
TG: i ran around for an hour got my ass some place warm
TG: went back in time
TG: picked up where we left off
GG: :O
GG: i can not believe how cool that is
GG: this is me believing neither that, nor its coolness :O
TG: yeah
TG: i guess im sorta used to it by now i dont think of hours going by the same way anymore
TG: i mean
TG: they are my hours but not everyone elses theyre kind of like private hours all to myself
TG: while everyone else is sort of in slow motion stuck in the thick of the alpha
GG: hmmmm...
GG: i dont know if i get that but ok!
TG: well yeah
TG: my thing is time yours is space
TG: pretty different things
TG: you GET things about space i dont
TG: or you will
GG: i will?
TG: yup
GG: ok...
GG: but anyway youre right, its coooold!
GG: i have to go back inside
GG: i wish i had winter clothes
GG: and if i did, i ALSO wish that my wardrobifier didnt blow up with all of my beautiful clothes inside it
GG: im so horribly unprepared for this... i have never even seen snow before, can you believe that!
TG: pretty believable since you lived on guam or wherever the fuck
TG: and also inside an active volcano
GG: derp yes dave that is so where i lived
GG: that is as biographically accurate as it gets about me!
TG: well ive never seen it either now that i think about it
GG: no?
TG: no
GG: isnt it great?
TG: nah
TG: lavas better
GG: lava is NOT better than snow :|
TG: yeah it is lava and skeletal skyscrapers all melting and shit how is that not way cooler than
TG: snow and
TG: like
TG: more snow
GG: you cant play in lava, its no fun
GG: you can only die in lava
TG: snows a big chilly carpet of nobody gives a shit
TG: like old man winter spread around his nasty mayonnaise and turned the landscape into his personal asshole sandwich
GG: eww dave no
TG: when i look around all i see is the miles of unharnessed snowmen im just too damn cool to build
GG: no this is so lame
GG: i am hearing an insane and stupid guy say stupid idiot things while wearing dumb sunglasses for lame morons!
TG: whoa jade with the fucking haymaker
TG: i need to go look for my teeth on the canvas as soon as shit stops spinning and there stops being like ten of you
GG: heheheh
GG: why dont we play in the snow later
GG: as soon as you get some...
TG: time
GG: ...
TG: time
GG: ...
TG: time then shades
GG: ...
TG: time
GG: ...
TG: time/shades lets go
GG: ...
GG: ...
GG: ...
TG: oh my fucking god
GG: ..
GG: .
GG: time
TG: im not gonna play in the snow
TG: maybe you missed those credentials i flashed which clearly stated me being too cool for that
TG: like federally too cool
TG: my coolness is named after a dead president plus his middle initial to make it sound extra legit
GG: i know youre joking around, you are not too cool at all, you dont even think that
TG: ok
GG: brrrrrr
TG: i thought you were going inside
GG: i forgot :\
TG: well at least make some damn clothes
TG: something warmer why dont you alchemize some shit
GG: i cant!
GG: all that stuff blew up
TG: blew up
GG: its a long story that involves a pinata and a gun and a very naughty doggie
TG: i completely understand everything about that practically entirely
GG: you do?
TG: cool story bro
GG: dave…_
GG: so anyway I had a dream last night… this morning…. whatever time it is anymore.
GG: one of the trolls was talking to me in my dream
GG: it was like a memory but different
GG: it was the first time we chatted
GG: but then i remembered that it wasn't really the first time and i was dreaming
GG: she said i was in a dream bubble and that everyone can visit each other now!
GG: then she appeared next to me
GG: and then she said that she was dead!
TG: i read about this
TG: it was in one of roses shitty books in her dream room
TG: it was called dream bubbles by the sleeping prophet charles dutton
Well, that conversation was not all that useful at all. It was pretty entertaining, at least. Now it was time to pester Feferi and find out what all that dream stuff was about!
- gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering cuttlefishCuller [CC] –
GG: feferi! i need to talk to you!
GG: hello?
CC: O)(, )(-EY JAD-E!
CC: oh sorry. i forgot about the typing thing.
GG: oh its okay feferi.
GG: but i still need to talk to you!
CG: what is it jade?
GG: i saw you in my dream
CG: oh! so youre dreaming about me, )(U)(! 8D
GG: huh… umm no… eww!
Was Feferi hitting on her…? O_O
CG: whats eww?
GG: well im… im not really a homosexual…
CG: )(U)(?
GG: uh, its when a girl likes another girl?
CG: wait…
CG: R—EALLY? D8
CG: thats… thats an actual thing that exists?
CG: wow trolls dont even HAV—E a word for that!
CG: girls who only like girls and guys who only like guys are just like weird fetishists or something! 8D
GG: well still…
CG: what? it was just a JOK—E, JAD-E!
GG: okay okay, im just weirded out by all this weird troll culture stuff. but okay.
GG: so anyway
GG: in my dream, you were talking to me like it was our first time
GG: but then you appeared next to me and started talking about dream bubbles
GG: which are supposed to let the trolls and kids meet each other!
GG: and then you said you were dead!
CG: WOA)(, that sounds like one W—EIRD dream!
CG: i don't remember doing that though sorry 8/
GG: so do you think it was just a dream or was it some horrorterrors…
CG: aww COM—E ON! 8(
CG: NON—E of you shits will B—ELI—EV—E me that the horrorterrors AR—ENT evil!
CG: theyre here to )(-ELP US!
GG: feferi!
CG: oh im sorry jade!
GG: uh… okay?
CG: but youll S—E—E! the horrorterrors are good
CG: i was raised by one, I would know! 8D
CG: just go to sleep and youll see!
GG: i just woke up though
CG: who cares, youve got all the time in the world!
GG: but no i dont the reckoning has already started
Definitely the oddest troll out of the bunch. But it was still really fun to talk to her, except when she had those asshole moments. Which was like all of the time. But still.
Becsprite floated around Jade and seemed to urge her to go upstairs to the laboratory. She guessed that that was where she was headed, then! It was never good to get on Bec's bad side, and it was even worse now that he could talk. Jade rolled her eyes as hard as they could at the thought of his potential lectures. They would be even more annoying than Grandpa's. UGH. And also very radioactive. So, off she went.
yay an update 1 day later! This will never happen again :P
Chapter 3
The transportalizer up to the laboratory was malfunctioning at the moment, so Jade would have to take the stairs. Not much fun, but certainly a lot of exercise. Bec had also disappeared shortly after getting her to go up there. Why he didn't just teleport her up there was beyond her. Who the hell took the stairs anymore, anyway? Her house was at least five stories high, and the spiraling stairway was the darkest and bleakest part of her home. This day was not a pleasant way to spend her first hours in the Medium.
It took about ten minutes of walking to finally reach the top, and when she got there, her lunch top rang out violently as Dave Strider tried to message her once again. Weird… It had been less than half an hour! The Hero of Time. Always bugging her. Bugging and fussing and meddling. What was his deal?
- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] -
TG: JADE!
TG: john… hes…
TG: and rose
TG: oh gog oh gog…
TG: jade please come on
TG: oh shit
TG: no wait dont respond to this
TG: like do the exact opposite
TG: shit ive gotta go right now
GG: DAVE!
GG: whats wrong!
- turntechGodhead [TG] did not receive your message!—
GG: dave please answer!
- turntechGodhead [TG] did not receive your message!—
What was that? Jade tried to contact him back, to no avail. Not a single person was on Pesterchum. The trolls disappeared off of her Chumroll entirely! It was like…. Like… Whatever she was thinking, it was in the back of her mind, but she couldn't quite… Meh who cares.
Jade was starting to feel a little drowsy. Maybe Feferi was right; maybe she did need to go to sleep… No. She would not risk seeing those freaky abominations ever again! Even if she had to stay awake for the rest of her…. Life… *yawn*.
Hey, look, Becsprite was back! He entered the laboratory with a majestic flow and looked down on Jade. She knew what he was trying to tell her silently. It was time to prototype him with something so that he could become stronger, and finally be able to communicate with his best friend. And he was right; before she was to do anything about her friends, she would need to upgrade him to the fullest extent!
...What would she prototype him with?
PM me your vote for what Jade should tier-2 prototype Bec with! The objects that he can be prototyped with are on this Homestuck page.
Also Mistakes Have Been Made, part 1 is pretty much completely awesome.
Originally Posted by Fiery Blacksmith
Fanfics (There's a bunch):
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