MSPA Fanfiction VI: Trashy Rainbow Drinker Fanfiction

[Blaperile]

Yup, it's already finished. :D

And yes, my favorite kid is John too.

Homestuck 30 Days challenge: 1st day; Favorite Kid

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“Ugh my head, I feel so weird...” John said as he slowly woke up.

He opened his eyes, and the first thing he saw was the black-white checkered ground of Skaia.

“Huh?” he wondered.

John moved himself and saw himself lying in his own blood.

“W-what happened?” he thought to himself in shock.

He looked to his left and saw a friend lying on the ground too.

“Rose!” he yelled in surprise and looked at her closely, “Oh god, what happened here?!”

Suddenly, he remembered the corpses of his Dad and Rose’s mom and the murderer of them…

“Jack…” John snarled as he clenched his fist, “Why did you do this… why.”

Then he noticed that a sound came from just behind him. He looked and saw that all her items from her sylladex were lying there.

“That’s weird, my items of my sylladex are probably lying on the ground on LOWAS as well.” John said to himself.

He stood up and noticed that the sound came from both Rose’s hubtop and her hairband. He picked up her hubtop and noticed Vriska was messaging her.

“Huh, Vriska? That’s weird, why would he message Rose?” John wondered.

He opened the chat window and noticed that Vriska had left a message for him.

“…It was her goodbye message before she went to fight Jack…” John sighed.

He read the message and saw that she had actually left 2 goodbye messages. One in the beginning, one in the ending. But she said something different in the middle…

AG: Oh yeah, John!
AG: I almost forgot to say this, I got carried away a 8it!
AG: Your future self left me a message some time in the past. :::::)
AG: I heard Rose got killed, what a shame!
AG: He told me to give you advice on how to get her 8ack!
AG: If she wasn't dead yet, you could have 8rought her to her Quest 8ed.
AG: 8ut I'm afraid it's now too l8 for that already. ::::(
AG: So, there's only one thing left you can do!
AG: You've got to kiss her, John!
AG: She'll revive as her dream self then.
AG: Good luck! :::;)

And then she continued with her goodbye message. John looked a bit in shock and looked at Rose’s corpse.

“I’ve got to… kiss her?” he thought before shrugging it off, “I shouldn’t think about this, it’s for her that I do this!”

John put himself down again right next to Rose and prepared to kiss her…

[Hazel]

@SR: Woo! Feelings jam in the squiddle pile! I've actually really been looking forward to this. The kids being brolike is always my favorite part of HS fic.

[SkaianRedeemer]

Thanks, Hazel, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[anonymousComrade]

This was taking a while to write, so I'm splitting it into two parts. That way, all zero people who are following it can have something to read now!

Also I promise Re: Champion isn't dead despite the fact that there hasn't been a new chapter in like a month. This series (which should be ending soon) is part of it so if you're a fan of Re: Champion and haven't checked out Hunters yet, I guess you could consider this entire thing another chapter of it, despite none of its characters making a single appearance as of yet.

Anyway!

Hunters - Part 4

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Location: DUALSCAR'S HIDEOUT
TIME REMAINING UNTIL EXTRACTION: 11:53:21

>Aitris or Byakka: DO SOMETHING!

Right! Because dying here by this douchebag's hands just won't do at all.

"Any last words?" Dualscar asks, as his rifle finishes charging.

"Yeah. Duck," Byakka replies. He is understandably confused until her SMG materializes and she uses it to blow a hole in a nearby steam pipe, throwing off his aim and giving the two hunters time to abscond.

The both of you duck behind opposite walls in the fork in the hallway. You'll have to leave soon, somehow, if you want to make it in time for evac, but you can't leave without the prototype.

>Aitris: Aggress.

You can hear Dualscar's footsteps as he makes his way down the hall. "I may be outnumbered, Guild puppets, but you're outgunned. You won't win this."

The prototype may take some time to charge before firing, you think, which gives you the speed advantage. But you are unsure what the weapon is capable of, so you have to be careful.

Still. If you can end the conflict here, you've got to try. You peek your head around the corner and start bringing up the ALTERNIAN PEACEMAKER to eye level when you notice the tip of the stolen weapon's crystal harpoon is glowing white hot.

You move back behind the wall just in time. The prototype discharges with a booming KRACKOW, firing a stream of energy that leaves a wicked scorch mark on the wall in front of you and your cardiovascular pump thumping in your chest.

He wasn't kidding. You are outgunned. You're going to have to use some clever teamwork to win the day here.

"Come now, ladies, why prolong the inevitable?" His footsteps draw closer.

You relay hand signals to Byakka as quickly as the particulars of your plan can form in your mind. You point at her and raise your pinky, middle and index fingers with the back of your hand facing her (ready your claws); you point at her again and motion with your left hand, then point at yourself and motion with your right (you take the left side of the hallway, I'll take the right); you hold up one, then two, then three fingers, tilt your head toward the corridor, and ball your right hand into a fist (on three, we're charging this bastard).

You return your pistol to its specibus and draw CUELEBRE'S TALONS.

>Byakka: Ready for the assault.

The what now? Aitris is kind of flailing her arms around but you have no idea what any of it means. You think you understand when she brings out her double-bladed sword though, so you put away your SMG and unsheathe the claws of LOGAN'S PIGSTICKERS.

Aitris begins counting down with her right hand.

5
4
3
2
1

>Aitris and Byakka: Charge!

Aitris spins around the corner, Talons gleaming in the florescent light of the hallway. You follow behind her, claws drawn and held behind you. Dualscar doesn't have enough time to get a shot off. He successfully parries Aitris's attack with the side of the prototype. Your attack doesn't quite hit home, but it does knock the prototype to the floor and down the hall. He scrambles to retrieve it but Aitris pulls the fake prototype out of her sylladex and tosses it toward the real one before moving to attack Dualscar again.

You aren't sure which one is the real one, but you're pretty sure Dualscar does. You don't know how long this trick will distract him.

>Dualscar: Easily identify the fake, pick up the real prototype, and get to blasting.

Oh, you will, no question about that. Just as soon as you identify which one of these damned guns is the real deal! Really, you should have had some kind of identifying mark put on the fake. This is just poor planning on your part.

>Aitris: Aggress.

You bring the Talons around to strike, but Dualscar anticipates your attack and sidesteps. A rapier materializes in his right hand, a dagger in his left. Looks like the prototype wasn't the only piece of military tech he was interested in.

"A double blade? Interesting choice of weapon, my lady. A bit more style than substance, though, and not much good in such narrow quarters, I'm afraid. I believe the upper hand is mine."

In response, you twist and pull apart the handle of the Talons, separating them into two individual swords.

"Clever girl."

>Byakka: Quick, while he's distracted, blow him away!

You sheathe your claws and bring out the EQUALIZER handgun. You pull it up to aim at your target and pull the trigger, but the shot goes wild as you flinch at the clash of metal on metal and the weapon flies out of your hand. As quickly as you could attempt your attack, Dualscar replaced his dagger with a pistol of his own, and shot yours out of your hand.

"I suggest you don't try that again." Damn, he's a crack shot.

He puts away the pistol, reclaims the dagger and turns his head toward Aitris again. "Now. Where were we?"

She responds, "You're surprisingly noble for someone of your occupation. Not going to shoot me?"

"Well, that would hardly be sporting now, would it? And one-sided fights are so boring."

>Aitris: Grief!

You advance, blades gleaming in your hands and lashing out at your opponent. But he is quick, and skilled in the art of the duel. Every thrust is sidestepped, every swing parried, every feint anticipated. Dualscar's reputation may lie in marksmanship, but you suspect close-quarters combat is his true element.

This guy's good.

You can't quite place his fighting style; the rapier-and-dagger stance he takes is reminiscent of the style used by the Fencerazers, but his technique more closely resembles the armed combat practiced by the ancient knights of West Alternia. The weaving of styles certainly makes for an interesting battle.

You don't really have time to appreciate this while trying to avoid being ran through, though.

You deflect an incoming rapier stab with the flat of your right blade and sidestep the follow-through with the dagger. You duck the elbow, dodge the trip attempt and thrust with the left; he parries and leaves you staggered, then kicks your legs out from under you. You roll in time to avoid being stabbed in the back, then counter with a sweep kick of your own. He drops to the floor and you pounce, Talons crossed at his throat.

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't slice your neck open right now."

"Flattering, but I already have a kismesis." Christ, what an asshole.

The sound of steel against steel rings behind you, and you instinctively turn around. Byakka is fighting off a trio of guards attracted by the noise of your scuffle with Dualscar. The distraction is just enough to break your concentration and allow Dualscar a clear shot at your face.

Dude's got one hell of a right hook. While you're seeing stars, he crawls over, scoops up the prototype, and starts making his escape.

>Byakka: Handle it.

"Don't worry about me, Aitris, I've got this! You go after the prototype, I'll keep these guys busy!"

Aitris is back on her feet soon enough, and nods in your direction before running to catch up with Dualscar. You drop back into a fighting stance and flash a grin at your assailants.

"The mighty huntress wonders if her prey knows what its gotten itself into!"

Notes:

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Looks like I was wrong, still one more part to go, and then we get back to Re: Champion. Which, by the way, isn't dead! Still working on that, I promise.

So this took a while to write! I simply could not do the fight scene between Aitris and Dualscar justice. It plays out way better in my head, and I'm afraid my descriptors here simply are not sufficient.

At one point I considered drawing mini-panels to go along with the fight, but 1) I can't draw for shit, 2) I don't have a tablet and my scanner is broken, and 3) I avoided a physical description of Aitris for a reason, and adapting any sort of visual media would have totally given away her (most likely at this point, non-)secret identity, and I want to at least get to the end of this fic before that happens.

[Blaperile]

Here's my fanfic for today! And yes, Karkat is my favorite troll. c:

Homestuck 30 Days challenge: 2nd day; Favorite Troll

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“Shit shit shit shit shit.” He kept saying as he saw the 2 bodies in front of him.

After Gamzee had gone crazy, he had sent Equius after him in hope to get rid of him… but it didn’t work. Here he lay, with Nepeta next to him.

“Gog fucking damnit Equius.” Karkat cursed, “Why couldn’t you fucking stand up to the fucking hemospectrum for once? Nepeta is fucking dead as well because of you.”

Karkat gritted his teeth in anger. His good, but blind, friend Sollux was standing next to him. Sollux could hear that Karkat was angry, but he knew that he was sad as well. Sobs could be heard in between Karkat’s angry noises.

“Karkat…” Sollux said while frowning.

“What… Fucking what Sollux.” Karkat grunted as he turned to Sollux.

“You can’t help it, KK.” Sollux said, “You didn’t want this to happen…”

“I could fucking help it!” Karkat snarled, “I could fucking come to Equius and help fight that fucking clown, but I was too fucking scared!”

Karkat kept crying and being angry, but suddenly he noticed a small letter next to the bodies.

“Huh, what’s fucking this?” he wondered.

He picked it up and read the words.

“What does it say, KK?” Sollux asked.

“What the fuck, it’s a note from Terezi! What the fuckedy fuck is this?! She wants to meet me on the roof for fucking sloppy make-outs?!” Karkat kept on ranting for a bit.

“KK, can I have that letter for a second?” Sollux asked, very seriously.

Without any words directed to him, Karkat gave Sollux the letter while continuing with ranting.

Sollux went with his hand over the letters, and a bit of the substance with which the letters were written came on his hand.

“Hmm…” he said as he felt the substance between his fingers, “I wonder…”

Sollux put his hand in his mouth.

“BLUH!” Sollux yelled out as he spat it out.

“What in fuck’s name are you fucking doing?” Karkat asked.

Sollux just shook his head.

“I was already fearing this…” Sollux said.

“What?” Karkat asked.

“This isn’t just ink…” Sollux ‘looked’ at Karkat in the eyes, “It’s Gamzee’s blood.”

Karkat’s eyes widened.

“Fuck, I had to realize that! It’s a fucking trap.” Karkat clenched his fists, “I knew it, he fucking killed Terezi. Gamzee's going to fucking pay for this…”

[Doodled]

Here's my fanfic for today! And yes, Karkat is my favorite troll. c:

Homestuck 30 Days challenge: 2nd day; Favorite Troll

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“Shit shit shit shit shit.” He kept saying as he saw the 2 bodies in front of him.

After Gamzee had gone crazy, he had sent Equius after him in hope to get rid of him… but it didn’t work. Here he lay, with Nepeta next to him.

“Gog fucking damnit Equius.” Karkat cursed, “Why couldn’t you fucking stand up to the fucking hemospectrum for once? Nepeta is fucking dead as well because of you.”

Karkat gritted his teeth in anger. His good, but blind, friend Sollux was standing next to him. Sollux could hear that Karkat was angry, but he knew that he was sad as well. Sobs could be heard in between Karkat’s angry noises.

“Karkat…” Sollux said while frowning.

“What… Fucking what Sollux.” Karkat grunted as he turned to Sollux.

“You can’t help it, KK.” Sollux said, “You didn’t want this to happen…”

“I could fucking help it!” Karkat snarled, “I could fucking come to Equius and help fight that fucking clown, but I was too fucking scared!”

Karkat kept crying and being angry, but suddenly he noticed a small letter next to the bodies.

“Huh, what’s fucking this?” he wondered.

He picked it up and read the words.

“What does it say, KK?” Sollux asked.

“What the fuck, it’s a note from Terezi! What the fuckedy fuck is this?! She wants to meet me on the roof for fucking sloppy make-outs?!” Karkat kept on ranting for a bit.

“KK, can I have that letter for a second?” Sollux asked, very seriously.

Without any words directed to him, Karkat gave Sollux the letter while continuing with ranting.

Sollux went with his hand over the letters, and a bit of the substance with which the letters were written came on his hand.

“Hmm…” he said as he felt the substance between his fingers, “I wonder…”

Sollux put his hand in his mouth.

“BLUH!” Sollux yelled out as he spat it out.

“What in fuck’s name are you fucking doing?” Karkat asked.

Sollux just shook his head.

“I was already fearing this…” Sollux said.

“What?” Karkat asked.

“This isn’t just ink…” Sollux ‘looked’ at Karkat in the eyes, “It’s Gamzee’s blood.”

Karkat’s eyes widened.

“Fuck, I had to realize that! It’s a fucking trap.” Karkat clenched his fists, “I knew it, he fucking killed Terezi. Gamzee's going to fucking pay for this…”

Cluster F-Bomb much?

Then again, that seems to fit his character very easily... Oh, man, if it led to him suddenly getting quiet and not cursing, after all that... *shudder* I would hate to be Gamzee.

[Path]

For those not on Archive, I have been posting what is practically an epic for me on my gallery there. Guys it has eight whole chapters so far. It's Droog/Sleuth, in a James Bond meets Maxwell Smart kind of team up plus romance, the best prompt I have ever received for a fic. Partners on AO3.

[appositeNautilus]

Busy busy week at work, but I'm still plugging away with this. I'm like a shark or something. Just gotta keep writing wish-fulfillment fic.

Continentfettered: Part 3 (Part 2) (Part 1)
Outrageous Glam-Rock Shenanigans

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[B]cleopatrasBard [CB] began pestering jocularWordsmith [JW]

CB: Whobes???
CB: Are you there???
CB: Whobes seriously this is a really terrible time to be leaving a girl on tenterhooks!!!
CB: There is a giant meteor heading straight for me and another one just nearly killed tina!!!
CB: What is going on???
CB: Oh for gods sake!!!

cleopatrasBard [CB] ceased pestering jocularWordsmith [JW]

cleopatrasBard [CB] began pestering averseNotary [AN]

CB: Ali thank god youre online!!!
AN: Hey Celeste.
CB: This game is trying to kill us!!!
AN: Huh?
CB: Were being attacked by meteors and tinas been teleported to some weird froggy place and whobes isnt answering his messages!!!
AN: Uh, I Basically understood Nothing of that.
AN: You're talking about in the Game, right?
CB: No!!!
CB: Its actually happening!!!
AN: You're going to have to slow down and Explain yourself in a more Articulate manner.
CB: Look i dont have time to go into it much but this game is bad news and if it werent for me being in incredible danger id say we should all stop playing right now!!!
AN: What were you Attempting to convey Concerning Tina?
CB: She started playing the game and then tuxedo mask proposed to her and she put on the ring so that the meteor wouldnt kill her and now her house is on a cliff somewhere with an irate gecko ghost thing!!!
CB: And i know how crazy that sounds and youre thinking of something dry and cutting to say but you can just keep it zipped for now and help me not get crushed by like a billion tons of flaming space rock with my name on it!!!
AN: Fine.
AN: Just be aware that it was an especially Excellent putdown and our lives are a little Poorer for not having been Graced by its presence even in Passing.
CB: Oh my god can we please move past this and get to the part where you stop being a sceptical asshat and save your friends life???
AN: Is this an Element of the Game you're Indulging?
AN: Some kind of Roleplay Scenario?
AN: It's pretty Cool if it is. I'm Impressed.
CB: Will it make you any more cooperative if i say yes???
AN: Can't hurt.
CB: Then yes i am the fucking fairy witch princess of shangri-la!!!
CB: I am way the fuck up in all of the magics magicks majiks and basically all of that shit >_<
AN: Is that Actually a Thing?
CB: I dont fucking know im not in the game yet >_<
CB: That was a hint by the way...
AN: You know, I am Detecting a certain Eagerness on your part.
AN: But do we Absolutely have to do it this very Moment?
AN: It's Getting on Here.
CB: Yes we dooo!!!
AN: Fine. Jesus.
AN: I shall explain to my Enrolment Officer the reason I am Sleep-Deprived and Incapable is because I was Indulging a grown woman in Playing her Magical Girl Anime Campalooza Game.
CB: If i survive this we shall be having stern words you and i...
AN: Alright, which CD do I Require?


You are now the needlessly sesquipedalian fellow.

You are currently playing the weirdest, most mind-bending game you have ever encountered in your life. And you played American McGee's Alice. So you guess this game somehow manipulates the laws of reality in order to allow you to manipulate an apartment on the other side of the goddamn planet? Wonderful. You wonder why exactly the technology no doubt necessary to facilitate this unprecedented level of player interaction is not being put to more useful purposes. You're fairly sure this would blow the roof off the construction industry at the very least.

Really, if it weren't for all the goddamn meteors you think this would probably be the most awesome thing to happen to mankind since the cravat. As it is, it really rates rather lower in your estimations.


AN: OK, the Artifact card is ready for you by the Totem Lathe.
AN: What Precisely are you Looking for?
AN: I'm Certain your remaining time could be Employed more Effectively.
CB: There was a present i bought for my brother somewhere in here!!!
CB: But it would be perfect for the ball thingy!!!
AN: Must we really Tinker with that Weirdass thing?
CB: Well you can do what you like when you get yours but having that thing screech incoherently at me for the whole game is not my idea of fun!!!
AN: Can you at least Divulge what you are Searching for so that I may be of some use instead of watching you root around in that chest?
CB: If you really want to help then get in touch with whobes!!!
AN: Believe me when I say it is not for want of Trying that I am not at Present in contact with our Erstwhile comrade.
AN: Need I remind you I too have a particular Meteorological Oddity with which I must Presently contend?
AN: Wait.
AN: That's what you were Wasting your time looking for?
CB: Shut up!!!
CB: Joe will love it!!!
CB: Well i guess hell have to wait for me to get another one...
CB: Actually no...
CB: Better idea!!!
AN: You're not going to try and Alchemise a Duplicate, are you?
AN: Good god woman, your home is about to be Reduced to its Constituent atoms by Aggressive space debris and you're flapping over some ratty old Mummified monkey hand.
CB: Aw nooo...
AN: What?
CB: It needs some different colour thingies to the ones we have...
AN: Well, in the Meantime at least you can turn your Attentions to infusing your Shout Ball and not Dying.
CB: Now whos eager???
AN: Well Excuse me Princess.
AN: Should I be more Blase about our Imminent Obliteration?
CB: Heehee!!!
CB: Youve just given me a greaaat idea!!!
AN: Can it wait?
CB: Yeah I guess ill need more of those gems anyway...
AN: OK, so what exactly must we Do with this Cruxite Artifact?
CB: Is that what its called???
AN: That's the Appellation my Interface has Conferred upon it.
CB: Well i just need to take it to the alchemiter and set it in the totem scanny thing...
CB: And then it should make me my very own tuxedo mask!!!
AN: I'm sure Daryl will be Thrilled at the prospect of your being Engaged to a computer game Construct.
AN: Does this mean that I will be Propositioned by that blonde bint on my own Entrance?
CB: Maybe...
CB: I dunno really >_>
CB: But that would be fun dont you think???
AN: I am going to Elect not to Dignify that with a Response.
CB: Heehee!!!
CB: Here goes...
CB: What???
AN: That was a little bit of a Letdown, I'll Surmise.
CB: You surmise correctly...
CB: What am i supposed to do with a purple apple???
AN: I'd Hazard the same thing one does with any Manner of Apple.
AN: And given the Relative Shortness of time Available, I'd advise getting on with it.
CB: Ok fine!!!


Your name is CELESTE BARTON, and you are about to embark on a STRANGE JOURNEY. Of course, in some ways you've been ready for this ALL YOUR LIFE. And yet, in many more it seems COMPLETELY SURREAL. You believe you have the HEART of an ADVENTURER, and have always LONGED to EXPLORE MAGICAL and UNCHARTERED LANDS.

So far you have had to settle for ASIA and now AFRICA, which are still PRETTY SWEET. But they're not like the PECULIAR PLACES you've visited in your GAMES, and in your DREAMS. Lands of MAGICAL GIRLS, PROUD DESERT NOMADS, ELVEN HEROES, GOLDEN CASTLES and DARK LORDS.

You moved to EGYPT with your FIANCE in order to INDULGE this borderline FETISHISTIC taste for the EXOTIC. You know you should SETTLE DOWN at some point. But ADDICTION is a powerful thing.

When you are not reading or playing FANTASY, you like to paint and sketch, or ROCK the WICKED JAMS on your guitar. You are kind of sort of known in FOLK CIRCLES for being part of a NEO-GLAM-FOLK ROCK DUET. That's on HIATUS while you're overseas though, so you're spending more time WRITING SONGS than practicing. You've always got a couple of CREATIVE PROJECTS on the go!

You're also a total PAGAN, although you're DEFINITELY NOT A WITCH. People who don't know the difference tend to GET ON YOUR NERVES.

Your Pesterchum handle is cleopatrasBard, and whether typing or talking, you tend to display extreeemes of emotion at all times!!!

And, of course, you are about to prototype your Kernelsprite and take a bite of your very own CRUXITE APPLE in order to enter THE LAND OF SKY AND LULL.

AN: Um.
AN: Are you Capable of Responding?
AN: You would not Believe what I am Bearing Witness to.
AN: Your apartment is, uh...
AN: Well, it's kind of on a flying Boat.
AN: A Ship, really.
AN: In fact, were I to be Pushed to Elaborate upon the Specific Appearance of this Particular ship I would have no other Recourse than to refer to it as Distinctly Piratey.
AN: Celeste?
CB: O...
CB: M...
CB: G!!!
AN: Are you Alright?
CB: Im on a boat!!! *_*
AN: You are Certainly on a boat.
CB: Im on a boat!!! *______________*
AN: Quite. I am in the Process of rendering a good hard look at this Motherfucking vessel.
CB: Aw you spoiled it...
AN: Apologies.
AN: Your Shout Ball has Morphed into a more Traditionally Spectral Apparition.
CB: It keeps saying ook... o_O
AN: It's a Mummified Monkey with a single, Severed hand.
AN: I would Posit it has Plenty to 'Ook' about.
CB: Well its bugging me!!!
AN: Maybe you can Reset it by putting something Different in.
CB: Like what???
AN: I don't know. Something you find more Palatable than a dead Monkey to act as your Liaison.
CB: Oh god...
CB: I just had a great idea!!!
AN: Another one.
AN: Is this Related to the Previous one by any Chance?
CB: Not really...
CB: You'll understand when you see!!!


You run into your bedroom and reach for the figurine on your shelf. This is going to be so perfect. You've always kind of hoped this would happen, in that corner of your mind that kept its fingers crossed that maybe one day you would be lucky enough to embark on your own adventure.
The MummymonkeySprite is lurking behind you, flailing its single, floating arm as you size it up. It appears to have some inkling of what is about to happen and seems rather agitated. But you have no time for its monkey business. Heh. Monkey. Here goes!!!


Spritelog:

DAVID MONKIESPRITE: Hey baby.
CELESTE: ...Oh my god hiii!!!
DAVID MONKIESPRITE: Um, what godawful affair are we in now then?
CELESTE: It's you...well i guess youre kind of furrier than i imagined...
DAVID MONKIESPRITE: I know, baby. It's the freakiest show I've ever been part of.
DAVID MONKIESPRITE: And I killed myself during one of them.
DAVID MONKIESPRITE: Well, not really.
CELESTE: I have a question...
DAVID MONKIESPRITE: Of course you do. Don't you fret, Celeste. I have all the answers you could possibly desire.
CELESTE: Um its not really about anything like that...
CELESTE: I was wondering if you could wear the goblin king costume???
DAVID MONKIESPRITE: Ook. Well, I suppose I can.
CELESTE: Did you just say ook???
DAVID MONKIESPRITE: Just you shut your mouth.
DAVID MONKIESPRITE: Um. I can't really control the ooks.
DAVID MONKIESPRITE: How does this look?
CELESTE: *_____*
CELESTE: Sooo cuuuteee!!!


AN: What have you Done.
AN: This is some sort of Sacrilege, I am Fairly sure.
AN: I know you're not Reading this. I just want it to be on Record that I gravely Disapprove of this abuse of one of our National treasures.
AN: OK, now you're Forcing him to dress up. This is Demeaning.
AN: And you are Demeaned for Embarking upon this Course.
AN: And now I am Demeaned.
CB: He loves it really!!!
AN: Oh good, you're not Entirely Insensible to the voice of Reason in this Situation.
AN: How do you know that? He doesn't Possess free will, he's an Action Figure with the Sentient Capacity of a dead monkey.
AN: This entire Scenario is Unseemly and Perverse.
CB: Its the end of the world adam...
CB: Im going to get my jollies how i can!!!
AN: Whatever.
AN: Enjoy your Weird Necro-Furry Cosplay times.
AN: I'm going to try and Reestablish Communication with Whobes.

averseNotary [AN] has ceased pestering cleopatrasBard [CB]

[draconicAlgorithm]

@ Path: Oh! I've read that one. Or, at least, the first five chapters. I like is so far. :]

Also, I decided to post my 30 Day Challenge on AO3 rather than clog up this thread with it. Day 2 is up, and from now on, you can read them here (if anyone is interested haha).

In other news, happy Hivebent day! I plan to get another chapter of Wizardstuck up sometime today in celebration.

EDIT: @ appositeNautilus: I'm not sure that there is much more hilarious than "necro-furry cosplay times". Just saying. And wish-fulfillment fics are okay if they are well-written and interesting, I think.

[lucidSeraph]

Hey everyone:

Just giving you guys a heads up. I don't have any new fic up, but a CATASTROPHIC error happened recently with Archive Of Our Own, where EVERY LAST ONE of my works got orphaned. I still don't know how this happened, and I'm emailing them about the problem, but if you're all going OMG! WHERE DID SERAPH'S FIC GO???? well, that is what happened.

[arcaneCalligramancer]

What sort of error? Is it affecting others, too?

[lucidSeraph]

What sort of error? Is it affecting others, too?

I have no idea. I basically just orphaned one of my works, I came back an hour later to see if anyone had commented on it, and found ALL of my works in the Orphan account, missing from my main one (including Violetesence; and I was 90% done with a new chapter on that one. Seriously.)

[SkaianRedeemer]

Well that's just messed up. :S:S I hope the archive gets back to you soon, but... knowing them...

[sarasvati]

seraph, point me in a direction, and i will breathe the mightiest flames upon those responsible

or yell until i puke cheap whiskey and leftover pizza all over them, i dunno

we'll see

hi fic thread! i have written another thing, a sort of nerdy thing, because i am jumping on the crossover wagon again and trying not to sit on anybody. for now it is a bunch of dave and jade, but there will also be john and rose in the future?! the possibilities are ENDLESS. it is also a scratch-fic. it is also a music meme. idk wtf i'm doing.

the bleeding fader

She gathers up dead flowers in her arms, cradles them; frosted tulips, amaranth curling up against its name, lolling tendrils of love-lies-bleeding. Her rounds take five minutes in silence and so many breaths and she comes back around to him, shoulders shaking, arms full of deep red flowers. “I grew these for you,” she says, and doesn't cry--not like he had when he'd realized, bridge of his nose pinched and tongue clamped until it gave beneath his front teeth. Her world isn't ending, not like his. It never started.

(the plans are:
chapter 1: homestuck
chapter 2: final fantasy x
chapter 3: mass effect
chapter 4: fallout
chapter 5: dragon age
chapter 6: persona 4
chapter 7: shadow of destiny
chapter 8: homestuck

so hopefully there is something for everyone??? i dunno!)

[Layra]

@SkaianRedeemer: I actually only just figured out where the fic is actually going a few minutes ago, and also how to sort of braid the two parts together.
I'm not good at this whole "planning ahead" stuff, which is normally why I just spit out vignettes and leave the multichapter stuff for others. But I think I at least know what I'm trying to do now.

Speaking of which,

Prologue
Marching Orders

Militia: Pulling Rank

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To her immense disappointment, they didn't bring her to the capital. Nor did she get to go on a ship. The seadwellers sinking any ship they came across. No flying either, since the a portion of the Fleet was hovering above the capital and shooting down anything that came near.

Instead, they brought her to a small encampment far, far away from the capital to get to know her troops. She got troops! It was as if she were a young mother purrbeast and they were all her adorable little kittens, even though they hated being referred to like that.

A lot of them were from the countryside, like herself, used to living alone and hunting their own food by claw and fang. Good, old-fashioned trolls. Naturally, they hated each other.

It was the kind of hate that only the really territorial could understand, a platonic loathing that held no romance and no romanticism, no desire to see the other ever again. More than once she found herself hissing and baring her fangs when one of the others came too close to her. She hadn't known that she could even feel platonic hate that strongly. Maybe it was romantic hate and she was just too young to feel it properly?

The rest of the group were city-bred psionics, who tried to stay quiet and away from the posturing and occasional fights between the ferals. She didn't mind them as much. She was happy to let them float around and mumble to each other even if it was kind of creepy. Only one of them ever talked to her, a young Arsenalyst she codenamed "Honeybee", and he only talked to her to tell her she was stupid and that her codename for him was stupid. She never understood bees.

The main problem was that they were trying to be sneaky, and the fighting made them not sneaky. No wonder they were put all the way out here instead of going straight to the capital. They weren't being sneaky at all!

Still, they had a mission, and they were going to carry it out, even if she had to get one of the psionics to drag them kicking and screaming all the way to the capital. Hopefully not screaming too much. Screaming generally wasn't sneaky.

As they made their way across the Bloodtooth mountains, one of the advance scouts found a swarm of bluebloods wearing black uniforms and bearing a banner marked in pink. Loyalists! Maybe now her troops would stop fighting amongst themselves and start fighting an actual enemy!

And they were kind of blocking the only path down the mountain. But mostly she just needed something to distract her troops from trying to kill one another.

She joined the scouts to examine the Loyalists. Most of them carried bows of various sorts, but some of them bore rifles or even larger guns. Artillerators! They must be after some really strong target if they had brought out Artillerators!

Archeradicators she could deal with; these rocky mountains had plenty of cover to block arrows. But Artillerators were a different story since they could just blow up any cover they came across.

So in order to defeat the Loyalists, they had to be tricky. Not just sneaky, but tricky. They needed a plan.

"We rush in and attack!"

"No."

"We sneak in and attack?"

"No." Honeybee glared at her. "Direclaw, aren't you supposed to be a good hunter? How do you usually hunt something stronger than you?"

"Attack!" She mimed swiping a paw at him. "And then run away really fast! And then attack again!"

"That's..." he paused, his usual retort dying. "Not a bad idea."

--

A yelp and a roaring boom, a flash of heat overwhelming the dull warmth of the blood caked against her skin. She looked over to see a column of yellow smoke rising above the combatants.

She hated the way psionics sometimes exploded when they died in combat. It was so messy, and they didn't leave anything behind. Such a waste. Honeybee had explained it to her once, something about feedback and energy dispersal and she hadn't really been paying attention. But it was silly.

Also it killed two other trolls who had unfortunately been too close to the psionic's landing point.

She glanced up to count how many of her psionics remained, trying to guess if there were enough to keep fighting. They had developed a pretty good strategy for dealing with the large, armored aliens, and by they she meant "trolls other than her", but it required a lot of psionics.

Fortunately, killing the other, smaller kinds of aliens was much easier. They had less armor so a good clean slash usually took them down. They were fast, but most of the ferals had hunted sprintbeasts before and knew how to kill things faster than them.

Moments later the battle was over. She climbed on top of the fallen giant and started counting survivors, although she still wasn't great at counting. But she guessed that she still had most of her troops, and that was pretty good.

"Huntress Direclaw! Huntress Direclaw!"

Oh no. The only kind of troll that would ever call her by her full name like that would be a-

"What should we do now, Huntress Direclaw?"

-fan. Oh no.

Although she knew vaguely how rumors could get blown out of proportion, hearing stories about her exploits during the rebellion had been the weirdest thing about this whole mess. Had her team really crawled through the sewers for an entire bilunar cycle? Had they really destroyed an entire military base with nothing but rocks and melee weapons? Did she really wear the skins of her defeated enemies as clothing?

The last one wasn't true. Troll skin made terrible cloth and usually when she killed trolls there wasn't enough left to really make anything out of. No, before she was given this awful uniform she wore nice, durable musclebeast hide, although it was from her own kills, and her helmet from the skull of a purrbeat that had tried to kill Smiles.

She pushed the thought away. Thinking about Smiles would make her start crying, and she wouldn't let these wigglers see that. Crying in public was a cull-worthy offense.

"We keep going forward." she finally declared, trying to sound authoritative. "And, um, no eating the alien." She had found out the hard way that the aliens were not good for troll digestion; her hours of vomiting had convinced most of her troops not to try it, but there were always a few who needed reminding. It was such a big change from Alternia where almost everything was edible if you chewed it for long enough.

She herded them into the forest and slowly toward the city, knowing that if she didn't get them moving they would get distracted and start attacking whatever they came across. She still didn't understand this whole army idea. Trolls simply weren't meant to work together for any length of time. If you gave them a specific target they would happily kill it, or at least make it somewhat miserable, but asking for more than that was simply unnatural.

She wondered why they were even given a target at all. Surely the Loyalists simply wanted them to die and didn't care if they actually managed to do anything, right? Why hadn't the Fleet simply dumped them into an active battle somewhere? There must be places where the Fleet was already engaged.

But that wasn't something to worry about now. Now she had to worry about the blockade they had just spotted, a line of armored monsters stretching in either direction.

[SkaianRedeemer]

@Layra: "And, um, no eating the alien." Nepetacestor is just about as authoritative as I had always hoped. *sniff* All grown up. As for planning ahead, I can see what you mean, though I'm on the complete opposite lines.

[lucidSeraph]

seraph, point me in a direction, and i will breathe the mightiest flames upon those responsible

or yell until i puke cheap whiskey and leftover pizza all over them, i dunno

we'll see

hi fic thread! i have written another thing, a sort of nerdy thing, because i am jumping on the crossover wagon again and trying not to sit on anybody. for now it is a bunch of dave and jade, but there will also be john and rose in the future?! the possibilities are ENDLESS. it is also a scratch-fic. it is also a music meme. idk wtf i'm doing.

the bleeding fader

She gathers up dead flowers in her arms, cradles them; frosted tulips, amaranth curling up against its name, lolling tendrils of love-lies-bleeding. Her rounds take five minutes in silence and so many breaths and she comes back around to him, shoulders shaking, arms full of deep red flowers. “I grew these for you,” she says, and doesn't cry--not like he had when he'd realized, bridge of his nose pinched and tongue clamped until it gave beneath his front teeth. Her world isn't ending, not like his. It never started.

(the plans are:
chapter 1: homestuck
chapter 2: final fantasy x
chapter 3: mass effect
chapter 4: fallout
chapter 5: dragon age
chapter 6: persona 4
chapter 7: shadow of destiny
chapter 8: homestuck

so hopefully there is something for everyone??? i dunno!)

I think the most helpful thing would be to see if this has ever happened to anyone else before. Or, if anyone is willing to sacrifice fics to the cause, seeing if we can replicate the error x_X; Because the other thing I'm terrified of is if this is a problem that can be repeated... then other people might fall prey to it too.


AND HOLY SHIT MASS EFFECT. JADE SHEPARD? DAVE VAKARIAN? IDEFK BUT I AM EXCITED

[Decker]

AND HOLY SHIT MASS EFFECT. JADE SHEPARD? DAVE VAKARIAN? IDEFK BUT I AM EXCITED

I am holding out for Nepeta Goto myself.

[Graven_Image]

I am holding out for Nepeta Goto myself.

And I am wondering why you're all excited for a Nepeta modeled after a programming command.

[NotAPumpkin]

God damn it sarasvati, you are wonderful.

Also I am lame and trying to write things, but it's not working. Arrgh blug
How do you people do it???

[SkaianRedeemer]

The standard GOTO brings the program to the line selected. The Nepeta GOTO brings the program to the line selected, and then destroys it in the most adorable fashion possible.

[MagnusRagnar]

seraph, point me in a direction, and i will breathe the mightiest flames upon those responsible

or yell until i puke cheap whiskey and leftover pizza all over them, i dunno

we'll see

hi fic thread! i have written another thing, a sort of nerdy thing, because i am jumping on the crossover wagon again and trying not to sit on anybody. for now it is a bunch of dave and jade, but there will also be john and rose in the future?! the possibilities are ENDLESS. it is also a scratch-fic. it is also a music meme. idk wtf i'm doing.

the bleeding fader

She gathers up dead flowers in her arms, cradles them; frosted tulips, amaranth curling up against its name, lolling tendrils of love-lies-bleeding. Her rounds take five minutes in silence and so many breaths and she comes back around to him, shoulders shaking, arms full of deep red flowers. “I grew these for you,” she says, and doesn't cry--not like he had when he'd realized, bridge of his nose pinched and tongue clamped until it gave beneath his front teeth. Her world isn't ending, not like his. It never started.

(the plans are:
chapter 1: homestuck
chapter 2: final fantasy x
chapter 3: mass effect
chapter 4: fallout
chapter 5: dragon age
chapter 6: persona 4
chapter 7: shadow of destiny
chapter 8: homestuck

so hopefully there is something for everyone??? i dunno!)

Persona 4. Mass Effect. Dragon Age. Fallout. Homestuck.

asjsklasf sarasvati you are awesome for this

Also, I'm pretty sure Decker's 'Nepeta Goto' comment was a pun on the name of Mass Effect 2 character Kasumi Goto(Pronounced Go-toe)

[Decker]

Also, I'm pretty sure Decker's 'Nepeta Goto' comment was a pun on the name of Mass Effect 2 character Kasumi Goto(Pronounced Go-toe)

Yes. This.

[SilverKunama]

Well, see, the Nepeta GOTO destroys the program and replaces it with an image of a kitten cuddling a tiny teddybear in its sleep.

[Blaperile]

This is for my third day of the Homestuck Challenge. My patron troll is Kanaya and I wrote something about long before Sgrub. Enjoy!

Homestuck 30 Day Challenge: 3rd Day: My Patron Troll

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“Bye, mom!” she shouted after her lusus as she went out the door of her hive. It was pretty cool inside, but outside she felt the blazing heat of the desert around her.

“Oh, it is so hot!” Kanaya remarked as she brushed some sweat off her forehead.

She was outside to do some undead hunting, something she loves to do. The sun had only just risen, but normally the undead rise by the moment the first sunrays come through. There was not a single one in sight. Kanaya was only 3 sweeps old, but she already knew how to defend herself very well.

“Where are all the mean monsters?” Kanaya wondered.

She walked a bit more, and suddenly saw a green flash of lightning after the top of a hill.

“Oh, it’s the white guy!” Kanaya said in glee as she ran up the hill. There, she found a certain white man dressed in a suit.

“Hello Mrs. Maryam. It’s nice to see you again.” Doc Scratch said, nodding his head.

“It’s nice seeing you too, mr. white guy!” Kanaya giggled.

“I’m here for a special reason, Kanaya.” Doc Scratch explained before he kneeled in front of the little troll, “But first I’d like to ask you something.”

“Sure mr!” Kanaya responded happily.

“Are you sleeping better after my previous visit?” Doc Scratch asked.

“I have!” the girl responded, “Each time I go to sleep, I seem to wake up on this yellow place that looks exactly like my room! And it has a super nice view outside!”

“Good.” Doc Scratch nodded, “But the real reason that I’ve come back is because I’ve got another thing that will sure help you in the future.”

“Ooh, what is it?” Kanaya asked with a curious face.

“Give me your hand for a second.” Doc Scratch told her.

“Umm, okay.” Kanaya said as she showed her hand to Doc Scratch.

The man grabbed her hand with one hand and put it on his other. Kanaya briefly glowed after that before turning to normal again.

“Hee hee, that tickled!” Kanaya giggled, “What will happen now? Do I get even better dreams?”

“It is something that will not get effect right now, mrs. Maryam. You won’t notice it until a few sweeps from now.” Doc Scratch explained.

“Oh, okay…” Kanaya said while looking a bit down.
“I have got to take my leave again now, Kanaya.” Doc Scratch said as he stood up and brushed off some dust.

“Aw, already?” Kanya said a bit sad.

“I’m afraid so. But don’t worry, you’ll see me again soon.” Doc Scratch reassured her.

“Oh, okay!” Kanaya said, already a bit more happy.

“Goodbye, mrs. Maryam.” Doc Scratch said before he teleported away again.

“Bye!” Kanaya said she waved at him.