I can't draw, not that that matters, because Lord Unb'ma-tched Diaminomito dwells within a darkness so deep that not only sight but all other senses leave you. He is the undisputed master of obfuscation, and holds dominion over all the dark places and hidden things of the world. The day shall come of the Great Deepening, in which all existence shall be lost within his ineffable foldings.
This is but the first of many horrors that have been revealed to me throughout the years, through typographical errors in online communication.
wowsers its been a long time since I did one of these
How bout altbloods.
Just for the heck of it.
grittyArbitrator began trolling criminallyGenerous
GA: Karkat
GA: are you There
CG: HOLY SCREAMING GRUBFLAPS
CG: HOW ARE YOU TALKING TO ME
GA: well i was Dead
GA: but now i am Not
GA: and i cannot Remember for the Life of me what Happened
CG: WELL IF YOU'RE ASKING FOR AN EDUCATED GUESS
CG: I CAN ONLY POINT TO TAVROS AND GAMZEE
CG: REALLY IT'S QUITE OBVIOUS
GA: i did not think them Capable of such
CG: YEAH WELL WELCOME TO THE CLUB
CG: DESTROYING ENTIRE SWATHES OF IMPERIAL PROPERTY ON THEIR HATEDATES
CG: AND NOW A MUTUAL MURDER PACT AGAINST THEIR PITIFULLY LOWBLOODED AUSPISTICE WHO NEVERTHELESS IS THE ONLY PSYCHIC IN THE HIVESTEM POWERFUL ENOUGH TO QUALIFY AS SUCH
CG: NO OFFENSE
GA: none Taken
GA: though you're no doubt about to Add an Addendum in which you Say that you really think i am a Wonderful person Despite color
CG: OK STOP THAT YOU'RE CREEPING ME OUT
CG: THE WORST PART OF THAT IS NOT EVEN PSYCHIC RELATED YOU JUST KNOW ME TOO WELL
GA: <>
CG: SIGH
CG: <>
GA: it is Nice to know Some things Never Change
GA: i suppose
CG: NICE OR NOT WE CAN'T LET THEM GET AWAY WITH THIS
CG: YOU WERE MY MOIRAIL DAMMIT
GA: the word is "Are"
GA: i am still Here
CG: SORRY IT'S JUST
CG: YOU KNOW
CG: YOU'RE DEAD
GA: are you now Implying that you are Willing to Discriminate on whether or not an Individual's cardiovascular system is Working
GA: because that is a pretty Poor qualifier
CG: ALRIGHT I GET IT
CG: BUT WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST WE DO NOW
CG: TWO OF THE MOST POWERFUL PSYCHICS IN THE WORLD
CG: DO YOU SUGGEST SOME SORT OF PERVERSE DOUBLE AUSPISTICE JOINT VENTURE
GA: that will Not be Necessary
GA: i have the Advantage of already being Dead
GA: perhaps they will Listen to Reason once they realize the Consequences of their Actions
GA: and if not, what more can they Do
CG: YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS KANAYA
CG: WE COULD TRY A MORE DIRECT APPROACH
CG: PSYCHIC POWERS DON'T DO MUCH GOOD AGAINST A THICK SKULL LIKE MINE EH
GA: your Immunity to psychic powers Notwithstanding
GA: this is My Problem
GA: i'm going to make it right on my Own
GA: i Swear
CG: WELL I SUPPOSE I CAN'T STOP YOU
CG: GOOD LUCK
GA: luck has Nothing to Do with It
GA: i will See you when i Return
GA: I Promise.
CG: WHOA PUNCTUATION
CG: IT'S ALMOST AS IF YOU WERE TRYING EXTRA EXTRA HARD TO REASSURE ME BECAUSE YOU CAN'T REASSURE YOURSELF
GA: ok stop that you are Creeping me Out
GA: and it is not even because of any Psychoreactive Abilities on your part you are just too well Acquainted with me
CG: <>
GA: <>
THAT IS NOT SPADES
THERE IS NO CONSENT
THAT IS LIKE SPADES RAPE
TROLLS WOULD BE DISGUSTED
Originally Posted by invalidgriffin
Where do you keep the chips, dB. Can you turn up the air conditioner? Man why is your internet so slow, it is taking forever to download all these seasons of Digimon. YES Digimon is important to the lesbians process will you stop nagging.
Originally Posted by olivia
Originally Posted by Doodled
Eridan: Hunt for fearsome beast
Very fearsome indeed.
got that bitch a wweb-cartoonist. bitches lovve wweb-cartoonists.
Fanfics
Chapter Fics
Thicker Than Blood 01234: It seemed like a pretty straightforward moraillegience. He provided her with food, she protected him from the other rainbow drinkers. Maybe if her old matesprit hadn't gotten involved, it would have stayed that way.
Wizardstuck 12345678910111213141516: The new Hogwarts students just keep getting weirder every year.
Zombiestuck KKEG (1): They thought that the Earth would be empty, ready for them to rebuild and reshape it as they saw fit. They weren't expecting that the meteors wouldn't hit everywhere, or that they might have some nasty side effects. They weren't expecting the Infected.
Don't Press Buttons (1): As usual, John does something stupid. Only this time, the result is that he becomes a troll, and Karkat becomes a human. Shenanigans ensue.
One-Shots
Blood and Noir: I'd fallen for that trap once. I wasn't going to do it again. The Road Ill Traveled: A poem about Karkat and Terezi written in the style of Robert Frost's "The Road Not Traveled". Pixie Trails: Sometimes luck doesn't even factor in. Unovastuck-Karkat vs Throh and Sawk: Apparently, a Sawk is faster than a Throh. Faster than a Braviary too. Karkat finds out the hard way. Kore Wa Troll Desu Ka?: Includes crossdressing and magical girl transformations. Karkat was not pleased. The Lawyer and the Goddess: Vriska and Terezi are having a very important chat when they get interrupted by a certain juggalo. Prompt Dunp: A group of several short fics I wrote based on prompts, including Tavros and Bro sharing tea, Slick talking with Jade about (briefly) hobbits, and Dave finding a birthday gift for Rose. Tears: Getting stabbed in the chest once sucks. Getting stabbed in the chest twice really sucks. Prey: Nepeta is a clever kitty. Yes: In a moment of weakness, Rose consults her magical cue ball. My Little Sis: An alt!kids fic about Bro raising blue!Jade. Based off of MSB's AU roleplay. Funhouse: John really, REALLY doesn't like clowns. Or music by Pink. Ice Cubes: Bro talks to Nanna before his fated battle with Jack. INDIGO and CaNdY rEd: An altblood pesterlog, featuring mutant Gamzee and indigo Karkat. Kantostuck: John wants to be the very best. Like no one ever was. Disease Called Friendship: Karkat has had a bad time with friends. The Demon: Death sometimes comes in the form you'd least expect. Hope: Even the Prince of Hope doesn't understand it. Hoststuck: Yeah, I don't really know either. Coulrophobia: HONK HONK MOTHERFUCKER Do: Killer: He stalks in the darkness, waiting. Waiting. Awaken: It's hard, being a rainbowdrinker. It's hard and no one understands. Kitten: Hearts Boxcars adopts an adorable kitten. Misery Loves Company: Terezi gives the bad news, and finds out some bad news of her own. Tend the Living: Gogdammit Hussie I hate you. Doll: It's actually a very good thing that Vriska allowed Bec to be prototyped. Don't Die On Me: Terezi discovers a new reason to hate Vriska. BL1ND Buddiie2: Sollux consults Terezi on the best method of seeing without sight. Cold: Dave decides to take a little time out to go see Jade.
I remember something along the lines or 2fortstuck: All I can remember is Rose getting owned so she switched to heavy. Dave requested that she not roleplay him.
Has anyone tried writing a full-length "ironically bad" fan-fic yet?
I wanna see some shit.
In hindsight, I once let Nepeta take control of my fanfic for a chapter. She immediately started shipping Rose with Gamzee, which wasn't even a thing at the time. They made out in the horn pile in front of Jack, and their love was so strong that he just... up and left. That wasn't very full-length, though. The real Gamzee interrupted it.
Has anyone tried writing a full-length "ironically bad" fan-fic yet?
I wanna see some shit.
I'm not sure if this is full-length, but it is certainly shit.
SBSURB BUT DIFFFERENT
kay so 1ne day there was a bunch of kid named jon, rose, david, & jed & there were playing this game. it was call sbrub ebcause of jon lifes in as uburb…the oethers do not but thats O.K. because of we met jon first……what happens now. ok got it.
jon was a client andn rose was a server, meaning she worked as a waitress & Served her mother the acoholic drinks that mom lalalonde (???) lieks. but also rose was server in the sbub, so she putthins in jons house, but ten a METOEOR STRICKED at the house of jon and also jons dad efbert, oops i mean egbert because that s the last name.
with jon dead the game woud not go on so thet rolls had a conference, but there are to many so lets say the only one were eridan, kanaya, and nepeta and the others ones dont matter ok. they sad “ok so wwe need 2 have some1 be replace jon because of jon is died…?” anf kanaya said “IlL dO iT”and nepta said “ :333333 < *A CC will do igt for sake of team*” and then they all had a fight and gthen both of them diedd
BUT
kanaya camed back as a raibnow drinker and then drak the blood of the dead enemies and it waskarma…because she was first died. it was ironic to because of janaya killed eridan in the reral homestuck. so akanaya replace jon and the game proseeded as usual and what happedned in the homestuck happened.
and then jack nori forgot to kill the bla k queen so she turned into………..SDNOWMAN TWO THE DELUX E FELTMISTRESS. and the trolls and kids except davida nd kanaya became the other felt and probem sleuth was lord engish. because their was a lord english the unvierse dead, ooooooooooopsies
Ropono Sugrum – revengeTemplar
someday, my vengeance WILL OCCUR
Iratus Rathor – escalatingRage
YOU.K NOW.W HAT.F UCK.A LL.OF YOUU
Typtic Kontai – telegramEditor
|I wish things would go back to the old ways STOP|
Ceruci Facere / eclecticTormentor
It-woud-be-delitful-to-caus-you-pain.
Mustel Squike / technologicalRat
looq, i don’t care that much about this ==>
??? ??? / ???
jUSt KeeP dYing and i’ll KeeP getting CaSh.
Floris Uvarum / naturalRemedy
PeoPle won’+ lis+en +o you, but Plan+s will.
Mortia Idormi / necroticElation
this is awesome
Plicea Maalin / eternalNumbers
(This + equation = going to take a + while to figure + out)
Undrae Pesiom / negativeTainted
Tell –e you’re –ot seriously that du-b.
Chembe Waspan / randomExperiments
/watch this, it’s gonna be awesome\~~~
Pugnos Occido / royalNeutralizer
I’11 be h0nest. I 0n1y want t0 ki11 y0u.
Astema Takrus / railroadRevival
##I just got#an idea##
Ameora Dangan / trickytemptress
S3riously what is your probl3m with bu<k3ts?
Kashaf Tinbas / topicalNickname
I’m NOt EVEn GOINg To PRETENd THAt WAs FUNNy.
Other Stuff:
SFelt: 12 SBSURB BUT DIFFFERENT: An ironically bad fanfic, in the manner that SBAHJ is ironically bad.
John Egbert waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were trolls in the base. He didn't see them, but he had expected them now for years. His warnings to Dayv Striduh were not listenened to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
John was a kid for thirteen years. When he was young he watched the clowns and he said to dad "i want to stop drawing the clowns daddy." Dad said "No! You will be KILL BY TROLLS"
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the meteor station base of the Veil he knew there were trolls.
"this is striduh" the Pesterchum lit up. "you must fight the fucking trolls" So John got his wahrammer of Zillyhoo and blew up the wall.
"uHH, hE GOING TO KILL US" said the trolls
"i wwill shoot at him" said the cybertroll and he fired the ahab's crosshairs. John derped at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
"no! i must kill the trolls!" he typed loudly
The Pesterchum said "no dude you are the trolls"
And then John was a grub.
Once again, lots of Karkat and Gamzee means lots of swearing.
And Gamzee nods, because he of all people can understand. "...You think it's real?" he hazards, after a moment.
"I think," Terezi comments philosophically, "that 'real' is a stupid word to use when you just made a universe out of frogs. Go back to sleep, Gamzee."
The whole thing is amazing, but that's particularly awesome and you should be proud. C:
Better stretch my legs... Sure has been a while. twigwise.tumblr Steam Powered Fanmily Member
Long story short, I've been convinced to do a reading of Frontierstuck. I plan on posting relevant links in my signature as I finish them, but--
Do I post updates on that project here?
Do I just give up the ghost and make a thread for myself because I'm soon going to have four concurrent Homestuck projects?
guys help i don't know what i'm doing anymore
JEGUS WEPT WOMAN YOU HAVE A LOT OF PROJECTS AND WORKS.
Yes I do, and here's a list of them. Also, there's a tumblr link in there, because I talk rather endlessly about my stuff on my tumblr.
Well, here's the tumblr, AKA Spitting Embers.
We've got Retroversion Dissolution, an ongoing AU involving an original cast: chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, and 13.
We have Frontierstuck, an ongoing AU involving the canon Homestuck cast I affectionately call "the cowboys-pirates-alchemists" story, featuring Rose/Kanaya and John/Vriska so far: chapters 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, and 12.
There's Bear it All Broken, an ongoing humanstuck AU wherein Rose Lalonde is hit by a car and the rest of the cast interacts with her in the context of the hospital as well as the past she dwells on: part 1.
We have Couture, a silly little piece of Rose/Kanaya fluff.
We also have To Weave a Tale of Her, another silly piece of Rose/Kanaya fluff done for round two of the Homestuck Shipping Olympics.
I take prompts from tumblr for Writing Wednesdays, and I compile each new chunk of work into Works from Wednesday on AO3.
Finally, I do readings of works, both of others' and of my own stuff. You can find all of my recording here on my Tindeck profile.
Wait, I still write regular fic? That's a thing I still do? Apparently. Basically, I just got this idea to do some short fics based off of Homestuck music. If anyone has any suggestions, I'm taking them!
Chaotic Strength
This was it. This was his end. His wonderfully, magnificently depraved end. Strangled to death with a bowstring by a noble who had realized his calling.
It was an honor, Equius decided. He smiled.
And just as he was about to slip into blissful end, a voice made him instinctively turn his head. The bowstring snapped. Equius saw Nepeta in the vents. He saw what would happen if he submitted here. She would be next.
There was no thought required. Noble be darned, he was Nepeta’s moirail, and that meant he had to protect her. This all happened before Gamzee even reacted to the string snapping. “what the motherfuck did you just do, shitblood?”
Equius punched out, straight into the noble’s chest. To Equius’ surprise, Gamzee lived. In fact, if it weren’t for the fact that he had been thrown back a good twenty feet, there would have been no visible reaction to the punch at all. Gamzee landed on his feet. He shouted “YOU’RE FUCKING DEAD, SCUM!”
In an instant, he appeared next to Equius and smashed him in the face with a club. Equius’ sunglasses shattered into pieces, a few even bouncing off his eyeballs. Despite that, it did little damage. In fact, Equius’ first act after the blow was to turn to the grate and shout “Nepeta, do not move from that spot!” Another blow by club to the back of his head. “I can do this, Nepeta.” For a single moment, he feared Nepeta would ignore his advice again and jump out. But then she closed her eyes and nodded.
Nepeta’s safety guaranteed, he turned back to the troll attacking him. Gamzee was now wielding a red sickle of some sort. A single broke the sickle in half and bent Gamzee’s wrist back. An audible snap reverberated. Equius blinked, and Gamzee was on the other side of the room in an instant. In a barely hearable voice, Gamzee whispered, “and after i’m done with you, catgirl’s next.” Then, he began rising into the air. A purple glow surrounded him. An angry yell, not of anything from the world, filled the room. The levitating madman shouted out, “BLACK PARADE!”
Skeletal beings dressed in marching outfits popped into existence around Gamzee. Several held instruments, though they wielded them as weapons. One appeared on horseback, pointing a baton at Equius. They charged forth, all surrounded by the same purple aura. Equius prepared himself to fight the onslaught, when they suddenly slammed into something. A black, curved wall had appeared between Equius and Gamzee. A Void. Equius relaxed, then took a step forward. The phantoms were pushed back. Now Equius broke into a run, making huge strides and leaving holes in his wake. The phantoms were pushed back until they hit the wall, where they were crushed between the Void and the wall. And Gamzee, for the first time, looked worried.
The look on Gamzee’s face didn’t last for long , however, and he soon pulled out another weapon. A bright, multicolored warhammer printed with a large Z. Gamzee slowly smiled, but it quickly transformed into a frown. “motherfucker, BEHOLD IT!” Equius didn’t even break stride. He jumped into the air and pulled back his arm. Gamzee raised the hammer up to block the strike.
Another snap. Equius’ punch went straight through the handle of the hammer and hit Gamzee directly in the face. Gamzee resorted to his bare fists to stop Equius’ barrage of fists. He soon learned that the power of Rage could fight STRENGTH. What it couldn’t fight was Heart. A pink aura surrounded Equius, trailing back to the vent.
Equius raised his hand to finish.
The Void enveloped the Bard.
Nepeta broke the grate and jumped out. She leaped and landed on top of him, pinning him to the floor. She nuzzled her head on Equius’ bleeding chin. “You did it, Equius! You did it!”
Equius exhaled. He felt barely any strength at all in him. He put his hand gently, ever so gently, on Nepeta’s head. “I did. For you.”
Has anyone tried writing a full-length "ironically bad" fan-fic yet?
I wanna see some shit.
TGHE HOMESTUCK DVENTURES SEQUEL AND STUFF PART-CHAPTER UNO ()that's spanish for zero asswipesfuckasses
tg: oh gfuck djon what are you doing
gt: what you mean jegus gog man jegus haha?
[/colors]
tg: i mean damn why the gog jegusing fuck do you do this i mean what
tg: y u stranglking the vriskabitchspider whyyyyyyyyyyy
but first an itnermission which is really the begginning
so all the people and trolls go t together and had a prty beacue they had survived and crossed over the scratched mirror and won the game (ha you just .lost the game) and they paired up multipel times and trolls realixed they could be humens and
*GASP*
suddenly murder happen and hopy shit jegus gog balls dick everyone went ccrazu and hussie ay(yea he was there too dumpass) called to order and terezi swooned cbeacause he wa the hornorable tyranny and then the stout one and her (stout is vriska cause shes fat get it?) foutt over hussie's great big giant asweomse ass lips.
But the gasp was for the murder which was the because of the death of Feferi oh noeeeeeeeee pffff (sarcatasm geti t bceause nobody carts about Feferri?)
But then Terezi solved the case agaisnt her own willwant because it wa s hussies lips gasp no not hussie himself dumpass but his LIPPPPSSSSS
*GASP*
And then hussie killed all the trolls and kids.
The nend BUT WAIT NO
This is part 1 right so not that can't be right because this was an alternate timeline and while feferrri was mudrered (wor was it her?>???@!) it amty have been someone else
ALSO, KARKaT made out with Jade because they love each oteh er awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwyeeeea.
so yea part 2 homeskillets (get it it sounds like homestuck but gangster)
I'm sorry.
In dedication to Nepeta Leijon: The best meowrail anyone could ask for AO3TindeckTumblr
The unnecessary, spaced-out double spoiler is gourmet incompetence.
I love the irony of me being able to legitimately take this as a compliment and thank you dearly.
You too, mm2.
As well,
AHOMESTUCK ADVENTURES AND SEQUALS AND SHIT PART OEN (TWO I GUESS BUT WHATEVER)[/I][/U]
Some munch butt whatned me to tone down the regal language ia m partaking with. SO yeah, his fault. He's this guy:
Originally Posted by mythmonster2
It's glorious! Almost seems a bit too over the top in certain areas, though.
So yeah story now.
CHAPTER TWO
so kanaya wand rose were wand-making out with the back of the hallway and kanaya was a rain-bow drinker and good stuff
but they got killed so yeah (not by hussie biptches (and no im not Dave)
so yeah but there was another person on board
i am that person
Hi, I am Harold Sword Chucknuts Strider, and I am Dave's brother other than bro and am the master at nunchucks and swoards. I taught bro all he needed ot know.
So I walked in and the trolls were like "oh look at that cool i need that dude meow mewo" (was nepeta. she looked adorable in her little cape crunching around her feet but the nshe died we were sad very sad )
But yeah they wanted me to solve the mystery of the dead hussie and feferi and nepeta and kanaya and rose and terezi (vriska kileld her. we know that. nobody cares though because vriska is pretty cool for a fat chick)
but yeah eridan likes dead people so he tried to eat her dead ear but then everyone left the room in disgust because he is now so...
ALWAYS NEVER WITH OTHER PEOPLE
or forever alone whatevver
but yeah he died next so they were like oh my it must be tavros so they killed him which is sad except not really because nobody liked him anywaaus.
Besides, he was a walrus eater
*GASP*
"Teh first clue" tearezi thought aas she searched for more of the same clues but different.
who here is a walrus lover gasp it must be KARKAT
but the nshe realized it was INCREDIBLEY SALLY and therefore couldanot even happen enever.
Besides, equius was scoping CHOPICE ASS and that disturbed her liek he always does so she killed ghim
but no he wasnt the bad giy son f a mbitch
mwahahaha thought the bad persontroll
then eridan asked her why she did that so she killed him too.
then john got mad and strangled vriska for killing terezi (she sitll tdid that fremember?)
and then tehy went to their restpits and blocks.
and then we're bakc where we were
------------
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<,
GASPGASPGASP
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
<<<<<<<<<<<./............................
John tuened his computer thing off which he had even learned from Sollux because sollux is apparently the smartets one of even though HES NOT NO MATTER WHAT JEGUS
anyways
the computeer flickered and he left the room and gave jade a hug before i came in and the glasses bitch swarmed me and I was like "hey john" and i saw Dave too and was like "hey dave" and hussie too buthe's not cool oh well now he's dead thanks to teh bad guy.
[COLOR="rgb(0, 0, 0)"]mwahahaha[/COLOR] went the bad persontroll and then they knew no-one could solve the secret exacept oNE PERSON/TROLL/DEADHUSSIE
so who could it be for either well tune in next time to fnd out haha
haheeheeohoohoo
These are way too easy to churn out. :/
Last edited by Doodled; 08-09-2011 at 01:12 AM.
In dedication to Nepeta Leijon: The best meowrail anyone could ask for AO3TindeckTumblr