MSPA Fanfiction VI: Trashy Rainbow Drinker Fanfiction

[nikeathena]

Quick fic featuring the dangers of photography and the Striders. Another slice-of-life fic.

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Dave is completely unprepared for it when it happens. It's in a dark room, cramped, and though he's completely familiar with the room, there's always room for mistakes. He turns to find the next basin of fluid and knocks into the set of shelves nailed into the wall that he was apparently too close to.

What happened next had been a blur of slow motion. Heralding his shoulder hitting the wall had been a soft, glass-on-wood murmur, and he'd just had time to register he'd just knocked something off it's perch, before there was an incongruous thud of a body hitting the doorframe, and the lights flicked on, red, when the bottle finally capsized.

"It burns!" He couldn't help that he was shrieking in a completely unironic, childish way, because it really did burn. He felt that shit sharting to sear. He lifted his hands, whipping off his sunglasses, and pressed his hands to his eyes, frantically rubbing at them.
And so he was extremely grateful when his brother also did not react ironically.

"Where." He seized Dave's hands and forced them down at the wrists, reaching up to cup either sides of the kid's face. "C'mere." He muttered, leading Dave quickly from the darkroom and to the kitchen sink by his neck, and proceeded to fill a glass with water.

"Fuckin-a, it burns, it burns!" Dave continued to howl, dancing slightly in an agonized, disorganized staccato on the spot, only stopping when Bro cupped his head and titled it back, and allowed a stream of water from the glass to trickle into Dave's eyes.

After a few minutes of continual flushing, Dave now sitting between Bro's legs, back propped against the man's chest, a red-eyed, puffy-faceed Dave reached up to push aside Bro's hand and the glass and sat up. He attempted a dissaffected sniff, but it didn't come out as planned. It was phlegmy and watery, and it sounded uncomfortably close to a whimper.

"Ya okay, little man?" Bro's voice was cauiously flat, hedging between warring emotions. "How're your eyes, turn around lemme see." Dave oblidged, using his brother's knee as torque to move, and even attempted a bit of levity.

"If I get any more plastic surgery, I'll look like Joan Crawford."

That illicited a starkly relieved laugh, intent as he was on searching Dave's face. Cupping Dave's face again, he inspected the boy's swollen eyes, and then, slightly disjointedly, the glands at the base of Dave's neck.

"Can you see?"

"Who said that?"

"Don't fuck around right now. Can you see?"

Dave would have attempted an eye rolling maneuver had the offending recepticles let him. As it was, he was resigned to letting off a small chuff of air.

"Yeah, it's just blurry."

"Kay." Was it just Dave, or did Bro sound completely tense and worried. "Let's wait a while, see if the swelling goes down. If you still can't see well... I guess we'll go to the hospital."

"No!" Childish outburst #2. Wow, he really was batting a million today. Dave tried to control his breathing where he was, a pace away from his brother, having stood and abdicated his place. "Fuck hospitals, I ain't going."

"Well, it ain't for my health, dog." Bro's voice was wavering, but low; it sounded like he was fighting for control. "They used to use that shit in wars, son. Men were blinded. Men couldn't breathe, it tore at their lungs like glass. Shit was banned by the Geneva Convention."

"What? My developing fluid is not mustard gas."

"Shit's toxic to humans. You aren't supposed to let it get into contact with your skin, what d'you think it's gonna do to your eyes?"

Good point. Dave mulled that one over, but snapped back to when his brother collected himself from the floor.

"I'm takin' ya whether you want to or not." Dave grit his teeth, prepared to resist, but knew when push came to shove it would be an easy task for Bro to knock him out and stuff him in a taxi headed for Mercy General.

Shit was so damn humiliating.

"Fine." He said, breath quickening from the quickly developing fact that he was, indeed, unable to see. "Just... where are you? Gimme your hand, don't wanna bump into shit." Of what he could distinguish of his brother's face, he was turning exceptionally grim. His mouth had set into a thin line, throwing the rest of his narrow face into sharp relief as he stepped forward and caught one of Dave's hands, and cupped the back of his head with the other.



"David Strider?" Dave was sick of being called "David." He was about to blow a motherfucking gasket. He was just waiting for them to throw in his middle name, make this shit all official. Though he was namesake to officially the coolest person on earth, he thinks he'd shrivel up and die like a snail with salt thrown onto it if anyone were to reaveal it.

But "Yes." His bro says as if he doesn't know. He grabs Dave's hand again, and half-lifts him from the hospital bed, where they've been sitting for the last twenty minutes. A nurse had come in, checked his eyesight, asked them to wait, and had dissappeared. Dave recognized her annoyingly perky voice summoming them in the doorway and privately resolved to moon her in the most ironic fashion when situation dictated.

"Right this way, please." And Dave was subject, once again, to a slightly jarring trip through the hallway and across the corridor, just so they could sit down again. In what seemed like another bed, but at this point one large, indistinct blurr was basically like another. Right?

Shit wasn't even ironic. No, nix that, it was tremendously ironic, but he couldn't find it within himself to appreciate it. He continued to go over this in his head while Bro's knotty fingers held either sides of the base of his skull, and the nurse proceeded to wrap his eyes in bandages. Fucking bandages. Shit was officially the stupidest, most ironic thing that had since happened to him.

"Keep him out of school till he heals, bring him back in a week, and we'll see how he is. Okay?"

"Kay." Drawled Dave, trying to keep a snarl out of his voice.

"Yap." His brother said shortly, rising from the indistinct blur, and grabbing Dave's hand from off the bed.

"Oh, and Mister Strider?" The nurse continued, making both brothers hesitate to consider her. "I think you should have the chemical burn on your arm treated before you leave. They can become very serious medical problems."

"Naw, s'okay. I can take care of it on my own."

The spilling developing fluid, toppling from an upper shelf. Why he'd only felt a faint dappling of it on his face instead of a stream. The light flicking on to red, and his brother's grimacing face, before Dave had started to howl.

Shit just got cosmically ironic. On the way back out to the hospital, he let his fingers drift up to his brother's forearm, where he felt the heat radiating from the burn. His brother didn't seem to notice that much, except to cup the back of his head when they neared the curb. Dave allowed himself that moment to feel very small, and stepped closer to his brother, wrapping one arm around his narrow hips, in the mutual darkness.

[Portalboat]

It's cause you're a 'Wiggler', which is a method to prevent spamming. Should go away after 5 posts.

[nikeathena]

Meh, never mind, I guess not.

[draconicAlgorithm]

@ scientificFlorist: Oh man. That was really good.

But ah, sonnets. I remember having to do one of those in high school too. Regardless, you did excellent on this one. It's not obviously a fan poem, but it's recognizable to those who are familiar with HS. And nice idea, using a line for each troll aside from the couplet at the end! :3

The only critique I have is to throw some punctuation in there. It's especially jarring in the Space line, but it would help break things up and show where you intend for ideas to cross lines as well.

[nikeathena]

@draconicAlgorithm: Also, I'm totally sorry about spelling your name like a jackass. O_O I have no idea why I thought it was spelt with a "y".

[VagabondRaiser]

Impermanence of Wishes:
Hearts Across Time

World 5-1: After School Special

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~~~

Heavy beats.

Pulsing rhythm, a deep bass rolls, counterpointed by a synthesized guitar symphony.

The rhythm and guitars drop.

Arpeggiated low piano, fast and soft, like an urgent message. A violin matches the higher hand.

The piano strikes a sour note in the major chord once, twice, thrice, and the music putters to a halt.

"Shit, sorry guys," John sighed, rubbing at his face behind his glasses. "That part's faster than I'm used to doing with my left hand."

Rose uttered a soft sigh, lowering the bow and violin with a mixture of relief and annoyance from her seat next to him on the piano bench, facing backwards.

"It's all right, John, we've been doing this for hours anyway. Perhaps we should take a break?" She directed her statement with a pointed glance at Dave, his giant headphones skewed off one ear.

He didn't seem to notice at first; for what felt like an eternal five seconds, he and Jade were staring at each other, green and steel-blue locked pointedly. "Hm? Oh, yeah, sure. Break time. Take five, kids."

A slender eyebrow arched as she watched him remove the headphones and leap dramatically over the turntables, hitting the ground in a dead sprint and shouldering the door to the practice room open.

Jade was on his heels like a cat after a mouse. Rather than smiling her usual smile, her expression was controlled, intent. For a brief instant, Rose flashed back to the fight with Jacksperhass Noirlecrowley, and shuddered.

John blinked perplexedly, twisted uncomfortably to stare at the door, hanging ajar, the sound of sneakers pounding linoleum fading rapidly.

"The hell was that about?"

---

It felt strange to be only six years older than he was before. It was like riding a bicycle after being on a unicycle for so long; balance came relatively easy, but with the various different outfits they'd worn, a pair of jeans and a long-sleeve tee with a button overshirt felt practically nonexistant.

"Any ideas where it might be?" Jade puffed as she caught up to him, denim dress fluttering with every stride. She would've been pleased at the change from legged bottoms if more pressing matters weren't at hand.

Shaking his head, Dave squawked to a halt at a cross-hall, looking around and breathing heavily.

This body's out of shape, he mused. Hasn't done much training since the game. He flicked his wrists, the Caledscratch appearing in one hand and the Timetable underneath the other in simultaneous orange bursts.

"The other Timetable is back in World Two," he said after a moment. "If the Caledscratch was first and the Timetables were second, either I need a skateboard or--"

"Your sunglasses," Jade breathed after a moment, and he nodded.

"Yeah, those."

"No, I mean you don't have them!" She clarified, reaching out to turn his head to look at her. Her hand lingered on his cheek, their eyes locked for a moment.

[Flash!]

"That's a good one," John chuckled as the two of them turned, matching fish-gape expressions as they both sought vocal purchase.

Idly filing the Polaroid into a small booklet in her purse, Rose leveled a knowing half-smile. "Whatever game you're playing, we're in. Just tell us what to do." John crossed his arms and nodded, that damned goofy grin on his face.

Dave's mouth clamped shut, and he thought for a moment, before giving a self-assuring nod. "Right. Let's blow this joint. John, you're driving."

A salute from John, and they made a break for the parking lot.

---

As the four sprinted for the door leading to the school's parking lot, four pairs of eyes watched them go.

Two sets disappeared in black smoke as a pair of freshmen, one in yellow and the other in blue, stepped out from where they crouched behind a water fountain.

"What'cha think they're up to?" the spindly Yellow-Shirt asked tersely, snatching a yellow ballcap from his back pocket and cramming it backwards onto his frazzled ginger head, the embroidered black number one on the front displaying proudly the wrong way.

"I, um... dunno," the husky Blue-Shirt replied, worrying at the bold black number two on the sleeve of his shirt. "But that thing, er, with the sword? That was... kinda cool..." He glanced down.

Shaking his head, Yellow-Shirt grabbed Blue-Shirt's arm and started off after the kids.

"I wanna see what they're doing!" He muttered, his free hand popping a butterscotch into his mouth and flicking the wrapper aside.

Blue-Shirt stumbled after him, pushing at the black bowl-cut hair fluttering in his eyes from the sudden action. "But, um, nobody's supposed to, to leave the school before four. We'll get in trouble, won't we, Ivan?"

"Cram it, Dmitri. We're goin'." Glancing about, Ivan peeked out at the parking lot briefly, and shoved the door open, jogging outside.

Dmitri was preoccupied, staring apprehensively at the butterscotch wrapper down the hallway.

"DOZE!"
"Oh! Um. Sorry! Coming Itchy!"

As Dmitri slipped out the door, black business heels clicked softly on the linoleum, a slender ebon hand plucking the wrapper from the floor.

---

"So this world isn't so different from ours," Dave mused as they rode in John's battered white-and-red hatchback ("I call her the Ecto-2! Awesome, isn't it?") and wincing as a bump in the road thunked his head on the ceiling for the fifteenth time.

"Presumably, yes. We've beaten Sburb already. It's been six years since, and while we do retain our fetch modii, they've been outlawed by the public at large." Rose's detatched play-by-play matched up cleanly with the memories he recalled from this particular Dave.

"So you knew Davesprite then," Jade interjected, and the two nodded.

"He didn't make himself known for some time, but yes, Dave did self-prototype with one of his failed past-selves," Rose supplied, and tilted her head at the pointed look between Dave and Jade.

"Different," Dave said at length. "I'm -our- Davesprite, and I came from a failed future timeline. She's the Future-Jade," He added, jabbing a thumb at the raven-haired girl.

"I see." Rose returned her gaze forward, and lightly touched John's arm. "We're being followed."

"Yeah, I noticed," he said flatly after a moment. "Ivan and Dmitri. They've been riding my bumper since we left."

At the brief confused looks from the backseat, he grinned in the rearview mirror. "Itchy and Doze? Jay-vee runningback and defensive lineman for the Chickenhawks?"

Memories of a crew of football players clad in the school's characteristic green and black flickered into Dave's conscious, and he nodded. "Right, yeah. The fuck're they following us for?"

"You don't think they could be this world's Darkness?" Jade suggested with a troubled frown, and Dave shook his head, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze.

The act reminded her that they'd been holding hands almost since they left the parking lot, and she blushed faintly. He didn't seem to notice, eyes focused on his creamsicle reflection in the window.

"Too soon," He muttered. "If that idiot's doing his job, it shouldn't be in this world at all before we find the lock."

A beat.

"Of course, he could've been bullshitting us about wanting to help and went back to playing that stupid mining game with the angry exploding green peni--"

John abruptly swerved to avoid a squirrel he was certain wasn't there a moment ago, and struck a pothole.

"--thGK! Thon of a bith!"

"Sorry!"

Jade hid a smile behind her hand. "He did say not to talk about it," she suggested at Dave's flat glare.

---

"They're talking about something, but I can't tell what they're saying," Ivan grumbled, peering over the steering wheel at the car a mere ten feet ahead of them.

"Uh, Ivan, maybe we shouldn't be so close," Dmitri suggested, his fingers tight on the safety bar over the passenger-side window. He hated when Ivan drove. He was always so aggressive.

"Shut up, they're talking about stuff, they don't see us," came the snapped reply. "Now cram it and lemme concentrate."

Dmitri blinked owlishly at the small reflection of a pair of intelligent blue eyes in the passenger-side mirror of the car ahead of them.

"Ok."

---

"Here we are!" John chirped as they pulled in at Dave's small apartment complex. The engine purred to a halt, and he glanced back at the suddenly empty back seat with a surprised 'oh'.

Dave was out of the Ecto-2 almost faster than Jade, which was quite a feat considering the door on his side didn't work. He wasted no time in making a mad dash for the stairwell, leaping bodily up the first half of a flight and taking the rest two at a time, Jade moments behind.

Rose folded her arms with a bemused smile, watching the small green Volkswagon with Itchy behind the wheel hum past the parking lot. She waved her fingers lightly at Doze, who gave a belated half-wave.

The car barked to a halt, almost getting rear-ended as Itchy slammed on the brakes, and she could almost make out whatever he was screaming over the honking of the car behind him as it jerked sideways into the second lot entrance.

It didn't sound like he was pleased, and as he ripped into the lot, the grimace on his face echoed the sentiment. He bumped the curbstop and slammed it into park, out of the car almost before the engine shut off.

"Hey guys!" John chirped over the top of the car. Doze's feeble 'hello!' was immediately overblown.

"What the fuck are you doing leaving the school? It's only two thirty! The teachers said not to leave early!" Itchy snarled, slamming his hands on the hood of the Ecto-2.

A slender hand rested on his shoulder, and his irate hazel glare faltered when it met Rose's cool blue reason and demure smile.

"Dave got an important phone call, Ivan. Since John brought us all to school, it was either all of us leave or nobody. Please, calm down."

---

"FUCK! Fuck fucking fuckity FUCK where the FUCK did I leave them!?"

Cushions and smuppets were flung all and sundry as Jade made it to the open door of the apartment, taking a brief moment to wonder at how similar it was to the one in their 'hub world', save for the plethora of plush rumps strewn about.

"Dave," she cautioned, ducking a wayward Red-Nosed Blue Warbler as it squeed by. "I thought you left the smuppets back in Texas with your brother?"

No response came as he hoisted the front of the couch, pushing aside a small library of puppet magazines with his foot.

Something flicked by in the corner of his vision, but he ignored it, dropping the couch and looking toward the door to his bedroom. "Maybe at the computer," He muttered, vaulting the couch.

Something flicked past, catching his foot and giving it a pull, and he pirouetted neatly before landing face-first in a first-edition Superbig MegaRump (with Poseable Snout!).

He was on his feet with the Caledscratch in hand before the fluff had time to settle against his cheeks, only to be staring down the length of a blunt-edged replica of the Hattori Hanzo model sword used in Kill Bill Volume 2, the tip perched lightly on the bridge of his nose.

Pointed sunglasses watched him over a smug half-smirk.

"Gettin' rusty, lil' bro."

Forumite: What the hell's all this then?

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For those of you who don't know what Impermanence of Wishes is, I refer you to:

This post,
then this one,
followed by this one.

Look me up in each of those, and look for Impermanence, Hearts Across Time, and Vodka Mutiny. Or just read all of my stuff since I'm a spaz about crummy romance and action and junk.

This has been a long time coming. If I don't get distracted by my own stupidity, there should me more. If you still don't know what's going on after reading all my stories, don't worry about it-- I barely know what I'm doing as it is!
...and apparently the fora hates my mu quirk in my signature. I'll have to fix that later.

[draconicAlgorithm]

@draconicAlgorithm: Also, I'm totally sorry about spelling your name like a jackass. O_O I have no idea why I thought it was spelt with a "y".

It's okay, algorithm is a tricky word. I looked it up before I made the account to make sure I spelled it right. xD Also, it kind of looked cooler with a y.

@ VagabondRaiser: Well, it is extremely confusing, and I don't really know what's going on, but I like it. I'm curious to see where this is going to lead. Nice first chapter. :3

[VagabondRaiser]

@ VagabondRaiser: Well, it is extremely confusing, and I don't really know what's going on, but I like it. I'm curious to see where this is going to lead. Nice first chapter. :3

Heh. First chapter I've written this year, but not the first chapter to the story. If you want a heads-up, you'll have to read the other chapters.
An easier suggestion would be to hit my Archive of Our Own account (linked in my sig) and start with the first part of The Impermanence of Wishes: What Could Have Been. The Ao3 is a bit behind (by about half a year!) but save for Vodka Mutiny (World 4, Buccaneers of the Disputed Stretch of Water) it's all there. Just not formatted properly.

[FieryBlacksmith]

Booya.

Eldritch Charades

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"Fhtagn fhtagn fhtagn."

John was bleeding badly. All Rose could do was press the wound and hope it would slow the bleeding. But with two stab wounds through the chest, it was hopeless. All the things she could do with her powers, but not heal a boy's wounds. She was sitting on her knees besides him, the ground, part of her dress, and her hands covered in the Heir's blood. She wouldn't lose him. Not like she lost her mother.

"ugh... rose?"

"Nath!"

Coughing up some blood, John opened his eyes and grabbed his chest.

"man this hurts." wiping the blood from his mouth with the back of his free hand, John sat up. "so uh, im not dead?"

"Nya. Athsa amaar bathas tadtir bialti." Rose said reliefed.

John squinted a little. "uh... did you do something? just asking, im not blaming you or anything."

"Maaro matali dogian. Grapearl ashtno dutsti bamteate pooktos tadtare amteseates." she explained.

"im sorry rose but i dont have the slightest idea what youre saying. does it have to do with me being in the god tiers?"

"Aay. Thatreata krakathulu mastaat atearea moilita achtotes matehre... athrea mist." She looked at John's chest. He was holding his wound, with her hands in between. When he saw her look, he let them go.

"ehehehe. sorry. i still don't know what youre trying to say." he blushed a little, rather surprising for someone who just lost over half of his blood.

"Matetea. Ashteat, caatlt aostea deiste, thsante yotneta ahst aeater athaete... jotleis mahstoa."

John went through her words. "so... i can only die in a few ways?"

Rose resisted the urge to facepalm for two reasons: she was actually incomprehensible, so it could not be blamed on John. Secondly, it would give her a face full of Egbert blood. She poked him in the shoulder. "Ahteate. Aama." she then made a gesture as if she was opening something

John understood. "charades! ooh, i love that! lets see... me. second word... opening? drinking? cola? warm? cooling? tappi-can! can. third... rolling? gambling? vriska? a ruse? casino? shaking? dice? chop? one-you mean die! fourth. posing. looking around. meerkat?"

Rose raised an eyebrow. "Blatadad?"

John shrugged. "just guessing. watching. guarding. sentinel. super... hero? heroic! final word... creepy? evil? grimdark? you mean that you can kill- sorry rose, bad guy? villian? villain!"

He puzzled the words together. "I can die heroic villain... you mean that i can only die as either a hero or a villain?"

"Aayasta."

John carefully touched the wound in his chest. It was almost fully healed, but still hurt. "so i can only die after some gigantic battle... guess im lucky that that didnt count." He pulled his legs up, and his eyes went sad.

"Nath... ahtesta marigita ahteate pateria." she grabbed one of his hands.

"im sorry about your mother, too. but rose, if it makes you feel better..." he took a deep breath, and made a little smile. "im not going anywhere. ill always be there for you. to help you, to protect you, to get you out of this mess. thats what im here for, and i always will. even death wont stop me."

He immediately regretted those last words, as they were poorly chosen regarding the situation. "rose, im sorry, i didnt mean it like-unf!" She had not pushed him aside, or berated him, or even looked away or let go of him. Neither did she hit him, poke him with her needles or cast him into the dimension of her dark lords.

Instead, she had opted to kiss him.

Something felt wrong, being this close to someone who worked as the conduit of the horrorterrors. They had just seen the murdered corpses of their parents. One of them had already died and come back to life as a god. They were in way over their heads in an unwinnable game. They were being manipulated by forces too great for them to comprehend, by those far smarter than they were. They were, as far as they knew, doomed to die.

And they didn't care.

-

As Rose backed off for a breather, John did what he did best: stare ahead of him with a vacant derp face.

"you, eh, so, erm, that was pretty good."

"Aay."

"you should know, erm, that was my first kiss."

"Aayaam masi."

"so... did it break the spell the horrorterrors put on you?"

A rather forgone coclusion, as Rose was still clad in the black glow of power of the Horrorterrors. "Nya."

"maybe... maybe i should try again?" John tried.

Rose grinned. Combined with the power of the Horrorterrors, it was terrifying. "Aay."

John didn't care how scary she was.

Meanwhile, far away in space and time...

WELL I'LL BE DAMNED, THE FUCKASS FINALLY DID IT.

[nikeathena]

@VagabondRaiser: I'm with draconic, and I eagerly await the next installment! I don't generally like "after SBurb" fics, but this one I definitely do!

[anonymousComrade]

Check it out, it's

Re: Champion - Chapter 2: Recovery

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When he snaps back to consciousness, he stares at the ceiling for a bit, then wonders, where the hell am I? He's not sure whether he spoke it or simply thought it.

"Oh good, Karkinos, you're awake. You really had me scared this time!" At first, he isn't sure if he hears this in his auditory channels or in his mind, either.

He glances around the room (or tries to) and notices he doesn't have much range of motion. Wearing a neck brace will do that to you, he thinks to himself.

"Honestly, did you really think you could take on four men at once and emerge unscathed? It's rather fortunate this young man happened upon you when he did, otherwise I'm certain they would have killed you." Avir gestures to someone he had somehow failed to notice until just now.

Karkinos turns to look at him. Another blueblooded chucklefuck, he thinks to himself, but he supposes this guy can't be all bad if he's really the one who dragged him here.

"And who might you be?" he asks.

"A fellow Threshecutioner recruit, sir!"

"Bullshit. If you're a Threshecutioner, why haven't I seen you around?"

"You are a member of Famine Squad, if I am not absolutely mistaken? I am from Pestilence Squad."

"Oh, right, the jerks down the hall. So, why are you even here?"

"I was passing by when I heard signs of a scuffle coming from the Famine locker room. I proceeded to investigate and happened upon you, surrounded by three attackers. I subdued the three of them and carried you here, where Miss Astraea tended to your wounds. I am glad to see you were not too seriously wounded, Private Histrellin."

"Wait, you stopped them? I figured you'd be beating my ass alongside them."

He grimaces at the implication. "I may be a blueblood, but I am an Alternian patriot first, sir, and I've seen your training scores on the memo on AltARPAnet. The Empire needs people like you who are clearly more interested in serving Her Glorious Majesty than in this, this lewd bulge-waving contest!"

A bead of sweat forms at his forehead. "Please excuse my crass language, sir. It won't happen again."

"Quit calling me sir, fuck, I'm the same rank you are."

"Y-yes, sir! Sorry, sir!" He starts sweating harder.

Karkinos groans at him. "Ugh. You got a name, buddy?"

"Private Alcaeus Chiron of the Pestilence Squad Threshecutioners, sir!"

"Agh, fine, whatever, dismissed, see you around I guess." Karkinos waves him off. Alcaeus gives him a salute, and makes his exit.

----------

And so he waits. Most of a perigree passes before Karkinos is in any shape to resume training. Negotiating with the medical team to let him walk around is a challenge, but they relent when he tells her he needs to keep up his strength.

(Of course, they have no idea he's using that time to synthesize more Hemoshift. Already his blood is starting to take on an almost imperceptible orange tint.)

Every hour he remains stuck in the infirmary weighs heavily on his mind. But he'll be in shape soon enough. Every second is another second closer to showing those snobby fuckheads who's boss.

(At least it's not all bad, he reminds himself. Avir's good company.)

----------

Avir hands Karkinos a medical release form, which he signs and returns to her.

"Okay, you're cleared to resume training now. I suspect this isn't the last I'll be seeing of you though, Karkinos."

He frowns at her. "Don't think I can still hack it?"

She meets him with a frown of her own. "No, I just know you can't stay out of trouble. Why the Threshecutioners? You could have been an Infilterrorizer or a Scouterminator or even a Nurserrator, all respectable positions for greenbloods. But you chose the one thing that could very likely put you in the morgue before you even see the field. Look, just promise me you'll stay out of trouble, okay?"

He laughs. "Ha, not fuckin' likely! Seems like everywhere I go, I'm surrounded by jealous grubfucking shitheads."

"Present company excluded," he quickly adds.

----------

When he returns to his squad, he shows a renewed ferocity that the sergeant can't seem to get enough of. He is ruthless in his assaults, a single-minded bloodlust-fueled fury. The sergeant turns to address the rest of the squad. Look at this kid, he bleeds fuckin' citrus, he's been out of action for a perigree, and he's still better than the rest of you sorry wrigglers put together! Histrellin, you've earned the rest of the week off from gaper duty, the rest of you better make those fuckers shine!

He allows himself a smirk at that, when the sergeant isn't looking. Maybe he can't take the entire squad in a fight at once, but he's beating them where it counts, and they can't fucking stand it.

----------

After one training session, before Karkinos can go to the locker room, an officer takes him aside.

"Listen kid, day one was a quarter of a sweep ago, and you know what that means."

"Active duty, sir?"

"Active duty. But there's a problem. You're the Threshecutioners' star recruit right now, hemospectrum be damned, but that's no real accomplishment because the rest of Famine Squad is a bunch of fucking wrigglers. We're getting our asses kicked on the front against the Oni, they won't last a fuckin' day on the front lines if someone doesn't whip them into shape."

The officer sighs. "A lot of the old timers can't stand that you're here. They say a greenblood doesn't deserve to even be a Threshecutioner, and they definitely won't like what I'm gonna do. But goddamn son, you've kicked the asses of everyone here and nobody deserves it more than you."

"Sir?"

"Tradition dictates that the top-scoring recruit of each squad, when they get out of training and into the field, is promoted to squad leader. And the old timers can't stand it, because now, that means a greenblood is leading what most of them consider the finest fighting force in the galaxy. Hell, half of them wanted you culled on the spot for what you did to those punks in the locker room, but fuck 'em, I say. I'm promoting you, effective immediately, and if anyone gives you shit about it, it's officially insubordination now. Paperwork's already gone through so there's nothing any of them can do about it, anyway."

He hands a badge to Karkinos. "You're out of training now, kid. You're official. Welcome to the Threshecutioners, Squad Leader Histrellin."

Notes:

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More like Wall of Exposition: The Fanfiction

I don't like this part nearly as much as the last two, it just seems like filler compared to the setup of the prologue and the action in the previous chapter. But I guess I've gotta build up to the original one-shot somehow. I don't know, it just feels like I'm doing a lot of telling and not a lot of showing here. Shit gets better eventually, I promise.

So is it completely obvious who Alcaeus and Avir are, or what? I'm pretty terrible at being subtle so I imagine so! Also I probably put way too much thought into these characters' names now that I consider it. You probably could figure out who they are just from their names, but you'd have to do a bit of research first!

[crash826]

@AnonymousComrade Oh my god wait a minute.
Karkat's ancestor
is troll will smith

[anonymousComrade]

I'm not sure what to say to that without ruining everything

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I will say it's one of many angles I've considered for this story

But is it the one I'm going with? You'll have to wait and see

[mythmonster2]

I'll admit, I didn't know who Avir was until I read the part about green-bloods being "nurserrators". But I quite like this series.

[draconicAlgorithm]

Okay seriously. There is not enough actual trashy rainbow drinker fanfiction in this thread.

Lemme try to remedy that.

(Also lots of chatlogs this chapter, but they're kind essential to get the ball rolling on the plot. Next chapter won't be so heavy.)

Thicker Than Blood 4

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-- twinArmageddons [TA began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

TA: hii KK.
CG: WHAT THE FUCK, DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?
CG: IT WOULD JUST FUCKING FIGURE THAT YOU WOULD DECIDE TO TROLL ME THE MOMENT I'M ABOUT TO GO TO SLEEP.
TA: yeah iit'2 niice talkiing to you two.
TA: iit 2eem2 liike we never get the chance two anymore.
TA: but me and AD are doiing fiine, thank2 for a2kiing.
CG: HAVING FUN THERE?
TA: ye2 actually.
TA: you're almo2t tolerable when ii pretend you're actually talkiing to me liike a friiend ii2 2uppo2ed two.
CG: AND YET YOU KEEP TALKING TO ME. WHO IS THE IDIOT HERE?
TA: take2 one two know one, a22hole.
TA: 2eriiou2ly though, how are you? ii don't thiink we've talked 2iince... fuck.
TA: when diid we la2t talk.
CG: WHEN KANAYA AND I GOT TOGETHER? THAT'S THE LAST TIME I REMEMBER.
CG: WAS IT REALLY A MONTH AGO?
TA: oh yeah.
TA: how are you guy2?
CG: WE ARE ONLY THE BEST MOIRAIL PAIR ON THE PLANET.
CG: WHEN OTHER MOIRAILS SEE THE BOND THAT WE SHARE, THEY WEEP FOR THAT WHICH THEY CANNOT HAVE.
CG: OUR PALE RELATIONSHIP RIVALS THOSE TOLD OF IN THE GREAT EPICS WRITTEN BY SUCH MASTERFUL POETS AS TROLL HOMER AND TROLL VIRGIL.
CG: THAT IS HOW WE ARE DOING.
TA: whoa, don't be 2o down on your2elf.
TA: that'2 my job.
CG: YOUR COMMENTS DO NOT EVEN BURN. THAT IS HOW GREAT OUR RELATIONSHIP IS.
TA: oh god ii should have known.
TA: the kiing of romcoms fiill2 one quadrant and iit ii2 a great productiion.
CG: I DON'T SEE YOU FILLING MORE THAN ONE.
TA: how would you even know, we haven't 2poken iin a month.
CG: WELL?
TA: okay maybe iit'2 2tiill just AD
TA: but ii haven't exactly had a chance two explore other optiions.
TA: not that ii'm blamiing her or anythiing.
CG: SPEAKING OF WHICH, HOW IS SHE DOING? IS SHE STILL...
TA: 2carred and paralyzed? yeah.
TA: they don't exactly have a cure for that, dumba22.
CG: WELL EXCUSE ME FOR TRYING TO PRETEND I GIVE A FUCK.
TA: you're not exactly helpiing your2elf.
TA: maybe iif you weren't 2uch an iin2ufferable priick, you miight 2eem 2iincere.
CG: GOD DAMN, NOW I'M NOT EVEN SINCERE?
CG: I'M NOT THAT INSENSITIVE, YOU BIFURCATED FREAK.
TA: god KK you're 2o ea2y two tea2e.
TA: though ii thiink you have toned down a biit.
TA: KN mu2t be doiing 2omethiing riight.
CG: IF THE ONLY REASON YOU TROLLED ME WAS TO POKE FUN AT ME, THEN I'LL JUST GET OFF AND GO TO SLEEP.
CG: OR ISN'T THE SUN COMING UP OVER THERE?
TA: no actually.
TA: tiime zones KK.
TA: but alriight, ii get the me22age.
TA: ii ju2t had one other thing two a2k.
CG: THEN QUIT DANCING AROUND THE SUBJECT LIKE A BALLERANNIHILATOR AND FUCKING ASK.
TA: ii know you and hiim aren't exactly buddiie2, but have you heard from TV at all?
TA: AD 2tiill keep2 iin touch wiith hiim from her flarpiing day2, but 2he ha2n't heard from hiim iin about a month, and 2he'2 gettiing worriied.
CG: DO I LOOK LIKE THAT IDIOT'S KEEPER? I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE HE IS.
CG: PROBABLY FELL AND COULDN'T GET UP.
TA: do not even fuckiing joke about that, okay?
TA: kiinda clo2e two home.
CG: OKAY, OKAY, GOD, SORRY.
CG: BUT NO, I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HIM. LIKE YOU SAID, WE NEVER TALK.
TA: okay, that'2 fiine.
TA: ii'll tell her ii triied, anyway.
CG: YOU DO THAT. I'M GOING TO SLEEP.
TA: oh waiit.
CG: GOD WHAT NOW
TA: what about GZ?
CG: WHAT ABOUT HIM? I TALKED TO THE ANNOYING MORON LAST WEEK.
TA: he'2 pretty good friiend2 wiith TV, riight?
TA: he miight know 2omethiing.
CG: ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THE SAME GAMZEE? BECAUSE THE ONE I KNOW IS TOO HIGH OFF HIS ASS TO EVER REMEMBER ANYTHING.
TA: plea2e KK.
TA: for AD'2 peace of miind.
CG: FINE, I'LL TROLL HIM. JUST A MINUTE.
CG: SORRY, NO RESPONSE. LOOKS LIKE HE'S SO HIGH HE FORGOT HIS COMPUTER WAS ON OR SOMETHING.
CG: MAYBE HE'S LOST IN THE WONDER OF MAGNETS AGAIN.
TA: that'2 okay, he'll probably get back two you eventually.
TA: when he doe2, miind 2endiing me a liine?
CG: YEAH SURE.
CG: NOW SERIOUSLY, GET THE FUCK OFF OF THIS CHAT, I AM GOING TO SLEEP AND I DON'T CARE WHO ARGUES.
TA: heh, don't let the daymare2 get you.
CG: SHUT UP FUCKASS. I DON'T GET DAYMARES.
TA: whatever KK.

-- twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

"For a quick last conversation, that seemed quite long and arduous." Karkat glanced over his shoulder. Kanaya was perched upon the back of the dual-accommodation unit, looking at him with a smug grin while she held one of her novels in her hands. It wasn't a rainbow drinker one anymore—it looked to be about wizards instead. Karkat grinned back.

"It was Sollux, and we haven't talked for a while. I guess he was worried or something." Karkat shrugged.

"For such a long conversation, I find it hard to believe that the two of you were only exchanging pleasantries." Her voice had a joking lilt to it, and her eyes were mischievous. "Perhaps you were trading stories about your respective romantic partners?" Karkat rolled his eyes.

"Yes, he was complaining about Aradia and I was complaining about you being a rainbow drinker and we both just had a huge fucking angst party and cried on each others' shoulders." Her smirk did widen at that.

"Just as I thought. Speaking of Aradia, how is she?"

"Still the same, he said," Karkat replied, though his face fell somewhat. Kanaya's seemed to as well. "But, y'know, at least she's still psychic. She can move, just not... well." Kanaya nodded.

"It is still a sad and depressing existence. She is very lucky that she has such a kind matesprit to care for her. Not many are so fortunate."

"Yeah, but I think half of it is because he feels guilty." Karkat glanced back at the computer. It looked like Sollux had logged off for the day. "He still blames himself, even though that bitch was manipulating him." Kanaya nodded sadly.

"But at least they are okay and coping. That it what matters. Between the two of them, they will make it through."

"At least until she gets culled for being a cripple," Karkat added, derision in his voice. Kanaya couldn't bring herself to agree. They were both thinking the same thing—he was much in the same boat.

"Oh," Karkat added after a long moment of sad silence, "I guess Tavros hasn't been around either. Sollux was asking about him." Kanaya bit her lip but remained quiet. With Vriska unaccounted for, the fact that Tavros was missing was disconcerting. But it was none of her business now, she supposed. She wasn't Vriska's moirail anymore.

"Shouldn't you be getting to sleep?" She said instead, setting her book down. As if on cue, Karkat yawned.

"Fine, fine," he grumbled. "See you in the evening."

"Good day," she replied. With that, she stood and left him to finish getting undressed and climb into his recuperacoon. She, on the other hand, was quite awake. The sunlight outside beckoned.

Kanaya passed through the kitchen, remembering the first time she had gone through the room with a slight smile. She'd felt so lost and desperate then, but now... she was light. Happy. She had nearly everything she could hope for. If only Vriska was there as well... but no, she would ruin everything if she was.

She was jolted out of her thoughts by a low growl and the quiet clacking of claws. Unlike the first time she had walked through this kitchen, Karkat's lusus was awake. A single eye was open, staring at her with mild dislike. He had come to get used to her, but he in no way liked her. She simply smiled back and kept walking until she reached the door.

Outside, the sun shone down brilliantly. A quick glance at the rest of the lawn ring told Kanaya all she needed to know—none of the other local trolls were still awake. Blinds were pulled shut against the burning light of day, and they were likely all nestled in their recuperacoons just like her moirail. That suited her just fine. She walked around to the back of the hive, where she found her own secret getaway.

Okay, so it wasn't much of a getaway. It wasn't really secret, either. It was just a small garden where she grew various fruits and vegetables. Or she would, if she had large enough plants yet. None of them were ready to actually bear fruit, but soon they would. The plants still made her smile, and she enjoyed taking care of them. It had been so long since she had cared for any that she had really missed it.

She spent several hours tending to her small garden. She didn't have to worry about being seen. None of the other local trolls would dare open their shades during the day. It was simply too bright. A few had asked about the garden, however, and Karkat responded with a definitive, "Fuck off, I can do what I want." Few asked after that. It seemed as though he was not well liked by any of his neighbors.

After a long while in the garden and with dirty hands and clothes, Kanaya returned to the hive. By this time, Karkat's lusus was asleep, as was Karkat himself. She washed herself and changed clothes quickly. She had altered some of Karkat's old clothes to fit, as well as made more of her own. Becoming a rainbow drinker had certainly not lessened her sense of fashion, only made it difficult because of the drink-and-run lifestyle she once led. Now that she was once again in a hive, she had more time to work on the things she really enjoyed.

In fact, she had a dress she was currently working on. Once she had spent time in her garden, she usually used the latter half of her day to work on it. It was growing close to completion, and she was itching to finish. Even though Karkat was at best indifferent about her clothes, it was still nice to be able to show them off to someone.

Just as she was starting, however, she realized she had left her thread in Karkat's room. With a sigh, she quietly walked inside, intent on simply grabbing the spool and leaving. However, when she opened the door, she noticed with surprise that his computer was blinking. It looked as though he had forgotten to log off Trollian, and someone was trolling him.

Usually, Kanaya would have left it alone. She wasn't one to pry too much into Karkat's business unless she felt that it was her duty as his moirail to do so. However, when she saw the text color of the person messaging him, she couldn't stop herself. She moved to the computer in a flash.

What was Vriska doing trying to get a hold of Karkat?

-- arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

AG: Look, Karkat, I know we aren't ex8ctly good friends or anything like that.
AG: Hell, I guess we kind of desp8se each other.
AG: 8ut I'm in a j8m right now and you're the only person I can talk to!!!!!!!!
AG: ... Karkat?
AG: Are you ignoring me?
AG: You son of a 8itch, you 8etter not 8e!!!!!!!!
AG: Oh, shit. You're pro8a8ly asleep and left your computer on.
AG: D8MMIT!!!!!!!!
CG: wHAT dO yOU wANT vRISKA
CG: OOPS
CG: I MEAN WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT VRISKA
AG: Karkat? Oh th8nk god I w8s wrong for once.
AG: I think I really scr8wed up and I d8n't know wh8t to do and I need h8lp!!!!!!!!
CG: WHY SHOULD I HELP YOU
CG: YOU ARE A MANIPULATIVE BITCH AND I WOULD MUCH RATHER HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU DO NOTHING BUT WRECK LIVES
AG: What the h8ll, I n8v8r did 8nything to y8u!!!!!!!!
CG: BUT I HAVE SEEN WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO OTHERS AND I DO NOT INTEND TO LET MYSELF FOLLOW THEIR PATH AND ASSOCIATE WITH YOU
CG: FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO BE YOUR LACKEY I WILL NOT TAKE PART IN YOUR PLANS OR HELP FURTHER WHATEVER AGENDA YOU MAY HAVE
AG: W8it a minute.
AG: This d8esn't sound like Karkat.
AG: Wh8 is this????????
CG: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT I AM OBVIOUSLY KARKAT THERE SHOULD BE NO DOUBT ABOUT THAT
AG: You've only c8lled me a 8itch once and you h8ve yet to say fuck, even though y8u just had a big long tir8de up there.
AG: Quit messing with me and f8ss up! Who is th8s and l8t m8 t8lk to K8rk8t!!!!!!!!
CG: NO
AG: No? Wh8t the h8ll is that supposed to mean?
CG: IT MEANS NO I WILL NOT TELL YOU WHO I AM OR LET YOU TALK TO KARKAT
CG: I AM TIRED OF YOU VRISKA
CG: TIRED OF YOU RUINING THINGS JUST WHEN THEY SEEM GOOD
CG: I AM DOING MY BEST TO WASH MY HANDS OF YOU AND THAT IS THAT I WILL NOT CHANGE MY MIND NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU BEG OR PLEAD
AG: ........
AG: Oh my g8d. Fussy fangs?
CG: I NO LONGER FIND YOUR STUPID PET NAME CUTE AND I WOULD RATHER YOU WOULD NOT CALL ME THAT
AG: Alright, alright, I'm s8rry!!!!!!!!
AG: I'm s8rry I l8ft you alone for so long but it was import8nt and I didn't w8nt you to g8t hurt!
CG: SURE
CG: THAT IS ALSO WHY YOU NEVER TOLD ME WHERE YOU WERE GOING OR WHY, YOU SIMPLY LEFT ME ALONE TO FEND FOR MYSELF
CG: THAT IS DEFINITELY WHAT SOMEONE DOES WHEN THEY ARE WORRIED ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE'S WELLBEING
CG: I CAN'T BELIEVE I NEVER THOUGHT OF IT LIKE THAT BEFORE
AG: Look, I know I m8de a lot of mist8kes!
AG: 8ut please Kanaya, please, I'm in a lot of trouble and I need you now more than ever.

Kanaya stared at that last line for a very long time. She knew what she should do. She knew the choice she needed to make. She needed to tell Vriska to fuck off and to block her, to let her just go away and continue living her life as it was.

But she couldn't. She wanted to, but she couldn't.

Vriska had said she needed her.

CG: WHAT DO YOU NEED ME FOR
AG: I knew you'd come through and m8ke the right decision! ::::)
AG: 8ut... I guess the pro8lem is kind of complex.
AG: I turned Tavros.
CG: WHAT
CG: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU WHY WOULD YOU EVEN DO THAT
CG: I CANNOT EVEN THINK OF A PERSON WHO IS LESS EQUIPPED TO BE A RAINBOW DRINKER
CG: YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR MIND
AG: But I did it to h8lp him!
AG: I found out th8t 8ecoming one would cure his crippleness.
AG: And it did! I'm helping him fin8lly 8ecome stronger, okay?
CG: SO YOU ARE TRYING TO RELIEVE YOUR GUILT BY RIGHTING THE WRONGS YOU HAVE DONE TO HIM
CG: YOU REALIZE THIS IS ENTIRELY THE WRONG WAY TO GO ABOUT THIS
AG: Shut up! I know wh8t I'm doing.
AG: He's not the pro8lem. The pro8lem is that he convinced me to m8ke Gamzee into one too.
AG: We did it tonight.
AG: 8ut something went wrong.
CG: WHAT
AG: I d8n't kn8w!!!!!!!!
AG: I l8t Tavros turn him, 8ut after he sucked his 8lood, he got all loopy and weird! Like the sopor slime was affecting him.
AG: So I l8t Gamzee drink from me 8efore he died.
AG: Once Gamzee came to, he turned cr8zy and tried to fucking kill me!!!!!!!!
CG: YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY MEAN GAMZEE
AG: I knoooooooow!
AG: I don't know wh8t happened either! Just that he said something a8out su8jugglating me and attacked me!
CG: WHAT HAPPENED TO TAVROS
AG: I d8n't kn8w!!!!!!!!
AG: I h8d to le8ve him 8ehind!
CG: YOU WHAT
AG: Wh8t w8s I supposed to do???????? I couldn't get him to m8ve!
CG: OKAY LISTEN YOU JUST
CG: WAIT
AG: Wh8t?
CG: GAMZEE IS MESSAGING KARKAT NOW
AG: Oh god oh god oh god
AG: Don't answer him, he's ins8ne!
CG: I DON'T THINK I CAN NOT ANSWER HIM
CG: GIVE ME A MOMENT VRISKA

Kanaya stared for a long moment at the blinking window. She hoped Vriska was wrong, for Tavros's sake. Slowly, she managed to calm herself. This was Gamzee, after all, who didn't have a violent bone in his body. Surely it was just a misunderstanding. Surely.

She opened the tab.

-- terminallyCapricious [TC began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

TC: hello my motherfuckin bro.
TC: HOW ARE YOU?
TC: i'm pretty motherfucking good right now.
CG: HELLO GAMZEE
CG: I AM OKAY I GUESS BUT I WANTED TO ASK YOU ABOUT TAVROS
CG: IS HE WITH YOU
TC: OF COURSE HE IS MOTHERFUCKING WITH ME.
TC: of course he's with me.
TC: HE'S SLEEPING OFF THE MOTHERFUCKING SLIME IN HIS BLOOD.
TC: silly little bro. :o)
CG: OKAY THAT IS GOOD
CG: ALSO GAMZEE I HAVE NOTICED THAT YOU HAVE APPARENTLY CHANGED YOUR TYPING QUIRK AND I WANTED TO INQUIRE AS TO WHAT WOULD MAKE YOU DO THIS
TC: BECAUSE MOTHERFUCKER
TC: i got the slime flushed out. :o)
TC: AND NOW I'VE GOT A LOT OF MOTHERFUCKING UNDERSTANDING ABOUT WHO I AM SUPPOSED TO BE. Do:
CG: AND WHO IS THAT
TC: i am the subjugglator.
TC: AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE SUBJUGGLATOR MOTHERFUCKING DOES?
CG: I CANNOT SAY THAT I DO
TC: he kills all the dirty motherfuckers not fit to live.
TC: USES THEIR BLOOD TO PAINT HIS WICKED PICTURES.
TC: a double motherfucking rainbow all the way across alternia.
TC: SO TELL KARKAT
TC: tell my motherfucking bro
TC: THAT I'M GOING TO BE SEEING HIM SOON.
TC: gonna see what motherfucking color his motherfucking blood is. :o)
TC: AND YOU TOO MOTHERFUCKER.
TC: 'cause i don't appreciate motherfuckers who try to pretend they're someone they're not.
TC: HONK
TC: honk
TC: HONK

-- terminallyCapricious [TC] has ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

For a long moment, Kanaya stared at the screen in shock and dismay. And also, maybe a little fear.

Yes. Vriska had made a huge, huge mistake.

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Yeah. I totally went there. I mean, crazy homicidal clown vampire. What's not to love?

... Don't answer that.

Anyway. Plot's finally beginning to move in a non-romantic fashion, which is honestly what I feel a little more comfortable with. Not that the romance is going to be gone. Not by a long shot.

Hopefully, the number of chat logs didn't detract from the chapter, but it would have been hard to do otherwise. Next chapter will definitely have fewer, if any at all.

[A Fan]

Why do I get the feeling that every troll is either going to end up dead, a rainbow drinker, or Karkat "Spicy Blood" Vantas?

[draconicAlgorithm]

I don't know what you're talking about.

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It is a distinct possibility.

[RogerMexico]

Hopy shit Vagabond, it's been ages since you've been in here! And you bring shocking developments! Lovely.

@aC--You do realize that you can now end Champion with the Bel-Air gag, right? Anyways, continue with this, I like where it's going. Will we get to see more of Alcaeus and his sweating problem?

@dA--You went and turned crazy!Gamzee into a vampire. You magnificent bastard.

@nikeAthena--I'm enjoying your Striderfic immensly. Keep it up!

In other news, I'm still working on chapter 5 of RESET. It should be up soon-ish (read: whenever I stop playing Minecraft and watching FLCL and write the damn thing).

EDIT: @A Fan--Are you suggesting that some other trolls may turn into Mr. "Spicy Blood" Vantas? 'cause that'd be awesome: imagine an army of vampires fighting an army of furious nubby-horned mutants.

[anonymousComrade]

@aC--You do realize that you can now end Champion with the Bel-Air gag, right? Anyways, continue with this, I like where it's going. Will we get to see more of Alcaeus and his sweating problem?

Well, let's just say this: I didn't introduce him just to throw him away after he dragged Karkinos's KO'd ass to the infirmary

[kaoticAntagonist]

Okay seriously. There is not enough actual trashy rainbow drinker fanfiction in this thread.

Lemme try to remedy that.

(Also lots of chatlogs this chapter, but they're kind essential to get the ball rolling on the plot. Next chapter won't be so heavy.)

Thicker Than Blood 4

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-- twinArmageddons [TA began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

TA: hii KK.
CG: WHAT THE FUCK, DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?
CG: IT WOULD JUST FUCKING FIGURE THAT YOU WOULD DECIDE TO TROLL ME THE MOMENT I'M ABOUT TO GO TO SLEEP.
TA: yeah iit'2 niice talkiing to you two.
TA: iit 2eem2 liike we never get the chance two anymore.
TA: but me and AD are doiing fiine, thank2 for a2kiing.
CG: HAVING FUN THERE?
TA: ye2 actually.
TA: you're almo2t tolerable when ii pretend you're actually talkiing to me liike a friiend ii2 2uppo2ed two.
CG: AND YET YOU KEEP TALKING TO ME. WHO IS THE IDIOT HERE?
TA: take2 one two know one, a22hole.
TA: 2eriiou2ly though, how are you? ii don't thiink we've talked 2iince... fuck.
TA: when diid we la2t talk.
CG: WHEN KANAYA AND I GOT TOGETHER? THAT'S THE LAST TIME I REMEMBER.
CG: WAS IT REALLY A MONTH AGO?
TA: oh yeah.
TA: how are you guy2?
CG: WE ARE ONLY THE BEST MOIRAIL PAIR ON THE PLANET.
CG: WHEN OTHER MOIRAILS SEE THE BOND THAT WE SHARE, THEY WEEP FOR THAT WHICH THEY CANNOT HAVE.
CG: OUR PALE RELATIONSHIP RIVALS THOSE TOLD OF IN THE GREAT EPICS WRITTEN BY SUCH MASTERFUL POETS AS TROLL HOMER AND TROLL VIRGIL.
CG: THAT IS HOW WE ARE DOING.
TA: whoa, don't be 2o down on your2elf.
TA: that'2 my job.
CG: YOUR COMMENTS DO NOT EVEN BURN. THAT IS HOW GREAT OUR RELATIONSHIP IS.
TA: oh god ii should have known.
TA: the kiing of romcoms fiill2 one quadrant and iit ii2 a great productiion.
CG: I DON'T SEE YOU FILLING MORE THAN ONE.
TA: how would you even know, we haven't 2poken iin a month.
CG: WELL?
TA: okay maybe iit'2 2tiill just AD
TA: but ii haven't exactly had a chance two explore other optiions.
TA: not that ii'm blamiing her or anythiing.
CG: SPEAKING OF WHICH, HOW IS SHE DOING? IS SHE STILL...
TA: 2carred and paralyzed? yeah.
TA: they don't exactly have a cure for that, dumba22.
CG: WELL EXCUSE ME FOR TRYING TO PRETEND I GIVE A FUCK.
TA: you're not exactly helpiing your2elf.
TA: maybe iif you weren't 2uch an iin2ufferable priick, you miight 2eem 2iincere.
CG: GOD DAMN, NOW I'M NOT EVEN SINCERE?
CG: I'M NOT THAT INSENSITIVE, YOU BIFURCATED FREAK.
TA: god KK you're 2o ea2y two tea2e.
TA: though ii thiink you have toned down a biit.
TA: KN mu2t be doiing 2omethiing riight.
CG: IF THE ONLY REASON YOU TROLLED ME WAS TO POKE FUN AT ME, THEN I'LL JUST GET OFF AND GO TO SLEEP.
CG: OR ISN'T THE SUN COMING UP OVER THERE?
TA: no actually.
TA: tiime zones KK.
TA: but alriight, ii get the me22age.
TA: ii ju2t had one other thing two a2k.
CG: THEN QUIT DANCING AROUND THE SUBJECT LIKE A BALLERANNIHILATOR AND FUCKING ASK.
TA: ii know you and hiim aren't exactly buddiie2, but have you heard from TV at all?
TA: AD 2tiill keep2 iin touch wiith hiim from her flarpiing day2, but 2he ha2n't heard from hiim iin about a month, and 2he'2 gettiing worriied.
CG: DO I LOOK LIKE THAT IDIOT'S KEEPER? I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE HE IS.
CG: PROBABLY FELL AND COULDN'T GET UP.
TA: do not even fuckiing joke about that, okay?
TA: kiinda clo2e two home.
CG: OKAY, OKAY, GOD, SORRY.
CG: BUT NO, I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HIM. LIKE YOU SAID, WE NEVER TALK.
TA: okay, that'2 fiine.
TA: ii'll tell her ii triied, anyway.
CG: YOU DO THAT. I'M GOING TO SLEEP.
TA: oh waiit.
CG: GOD WHAT NOW
TA: what about GZ?
CG: WHAT ABOUT HIM? I TALKED TO THE ANNOYING MORON LAST WEEK.
TA: he'2 pretty good friiend2 wiith TV, riight?
TA: he miight know 2omethiing.
CG: ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THE SAME GAMZEE? BECAUSE THE ONE I KNOW IS TOO HIGH OFF HIS ASS TO EVER REMEMBER ANYTHING.
TA: plea2e KK.
TA: for AD'2 peace of miind.
CG: FINE, I'LL TROLL HIM. JUST A MINUTE.
CG: SORRY, NO RESPONSE. LOOKS LIKE HE'S SO HIGH HE FORGOT HIS COMPUTER WAS ON OR SOMETHING.
CG: MAYBE HE'S LOST IN THE WONDER OF MAGNETS AGAIN.
TA: that'2 okay, he'll probably get back two you eventually.
TA: when he doe2, miind 2endiing me a liine?
CG: YEAH SURE.
CG: NOW SERIOUSLY, GET THE FUCK OFF OF THIS CHAT, I AM GOING TO SLEEP AND I DON'T CARE WHO ARGUES.
TA: heh, don't let the daymare2 get you.
CG: SHUT UP FUCKASS. I DON'T GET DAYMARES.
TA: whatever KK.

-- twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

"For a quick last conversation, that seemed quite long and arduous." Karkat glanced over his shoulder. Kanaya was perched upon the back of the dual-accommodation unit, looking at him with a smug grin while she held one of her novels in her hands. It wasn't a rainbow drinker one anymore—it looked to be about wizards instead. Karkat grinned back.

"It was Sollux, and we haven't talked for a while. I guess he was worried or something." Karkat shrugged.

"For such a long conversation, I find it hard to believe that the two of you were only exchanging pleasantries." Her voice had a joking lilt to it, and her eyes were mischievous. "Perhaps you were trading stories about your respective romantic partners?" Karkat rolled his eyes.

"Yes, he was complaining about Aradia and I was complaining about you being a rainbow drinker and we both just had a huge fucking angst party and cried on each others' shoulders." Her smirk did widen at that.

"Just as I thought. Speaking of Aradia, how is she?"

"Still the same, he said," Karkat replied, though his face fell somewhat. Kanaya's seemed to as well. "But, y'know, at least she's still psychic. She can move, just not... well." Kanaya nodded.

"It is still a sad and depressing existence. She is very lucky that she has such a kind matesprit to care for her. Not many are so fortunate."

"Yeah, but I think half of it is because he feels guilty." Karkat glanced back at the computer. It looked like Sollux had logged off for the day. "He still blames himself, even though that bitch was manipulating him." Kanaya nodded sadly.

"But at least they are okay and coping. That it what matters. Between the two of them, they will make it through."

"At least until she gets culled for being a cripple," Karkat added, derision in his voice. Kanaya couldn't bring herself to agree. They were both thinking the same thing—he was much in the same boat.

"Oh," Karkat added after a long moment of sad silence, "I guess Tavros hasn't been around either. Sollux was asking about him." Kanaya bit her lip but remained quiet. With Vriska unaccounted for, the fact that Tavros was missing was disconcerting. But it was none of her business now, she supposed. She wasn't Vriska's moirail anymore.

"Shouldn't you be getting to sleep?" She said instead, setting her book down. As if on cue, Karkat yawned.

"Fine, fine," he grumbled. "See you in the evening."

"Good day," she replied. With that, she stood and left him to finish getting undressed and climb into his recuperacoon. She, on the other hand, was quite awake. The sunlight outside beckoned.

Kanaya passed through the kitchen, remembering the first time she had gone through the room with a slight smile. She'd felt so lost and desperate then, but now... she was light. Happy. She had nearly everything she could hope for. If only Vriska was there as well... but no, she would ruin everything if she was.

She was jolted out of her thoughts by a low growl and the quiet clacking of claws. Unlike the first time she had walked through this kitchen, Karkat's lusus was awake. A single eye was open, staring at her with mild dislike. He had come to get used to her, but he in no way liked her. She simply smiled back and kept walking until she reached the door.

Outside, the sun shone down brilliantly. A quick glance at the rest of the lawn ring told Kanaya all she needed to know—none of the other local trolls were still awake. Blinds were pulled shut against the burning light of day, and they were likely all nestled in their recuperacoons just like her moirail. That suited her just fine. She walked around to the back of the hive, where she found her own secret getaway.

Okay, so it wasn't much of a getaway. It wasn't really secret, either. It was just a small garden where she grew various fruits and vegetables. Or she would, if she had large enough plants yet. None of them were ready to actually bear fruit, but soon they would. The plants still made her smile, and she enjoyed taking care of them. It had been so long since she had cared for any that she had really missed it.

She spent several hours tending to her small garden. She didn't have to worry about being seen. None of the other local trolls would dare open their shades during the day. It was simply too bright. A few had asked about the garden, however, and Karkat responded with a definitive, "Fuck off, I can do what I want." Few asked after that. It seemed as though he was not well liked by any of his neighbors.

After a long while in the garden and with dirty hands and clothes, Kanaya returned to the hive. By this time, Karkat's lusus was asleep, as was Karkat himself. She washed herself and changed clothes quickly. She had altered some of Karkat's old clothes to fit, as well as made more of her own. Becoming a rainbow drinker had certainly not lessened her sense of fashion, only made it difficult because of the drink-and-run lifestyle she once led. Now that she was once again in a hive, she had more time to work on the things she really enjoyed.

In fact, she had a dress she was currently working on. Once she had spent time in her garden, she usually used the latter half of her day to work on it. It was growing close to completion, and she was itching to finish. Even though Karkat was at best indifferent about her clothes, it was still nice to be able to show them off to someone.

Just as she was starting, however, she realized she had left her thread in Karkat's room. With a sigh, she quietly walked inside, intent on simply grabbing the spool and leaving. However, when she opened the door, she noticed with surprise that his computer was blinking. It looked as though he had forgotten to log off Trollian, and someone was trolling him.

Usually, Kanaya would have left it alone. She wasn't one to pry too much into Karkat's business unless she felt that it was her duty as his moirail to do so. However, when she saw the text color of the person messaging him, she couldn't stop herself. She moved to the computer in a flash.

What was Vriska doing trying to get a hold of Karkat?

-- arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

AG: Look, Karkat, I know we aren't ex8ctly good friends or anything like that.
AG: Hell, I guess we kind of desp8se each other.
AG: 8ut I'm in a j8m right now and you're the only person I can talk to!!!!!!!!
AG: ... Karkat?
AG: Are you ignoring me?
AG: You son of a 8itch, you 8etter not 8e!!!!!!!!
AG: Oh, shit. You're pro8a8ly asleep and left your computer on.
AG: D8MMIT!!!!!!!!
CG: wHAT dO yOU wANT vRISKA
CG: OOPS
CG: I MEAN WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT VRISKA
AG: Karkat? Oh th8nk god I w8s wrong for once.
AG: I think I really scr8wed up and I d8n't know wh8t to do and I need h8lp!!!!!!!!
CG: WHY SHOULD I HELP YOU
CG: YOU ARE A MANIPULATIVE BITCH AND I WOULD MUCH RATHER HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU DO NOTHING BUT WRECK LIVES
AG: What the h8ll, I n8v8r did 8nything to y8u!!!!!!!!
CG: BUT I HAVE SEEN WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO OTHERS AND I DO NOT INTEND TO LET MYSELF FOLLOW THEIR PATH AND ASSOCIATE WITH YOU
CG: FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO BE YOUR LACKEY I WILL NOT TAKE PART IN YOUR PLANS OR HELP FURTHER WHATEVER AGENDA YOU MAY HAVE
AG: W8it a minute.
AG: This d8esn't sound like Karkat.
AG: Wh8 is this????????
CG: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT I AM OBVIOUSLY KARKAT THERE SHOULD BE NO DOUBT ABOUT THAT
AG: You've only c8lled me a 8itch once and you h8ve yet to say fuck, even though y8u just had a big long tir8de up there.
AG: Quit messing with me and f8ss up! Who is th8s and l8t m8 t8lk to K8rk8t!!!!!!!!
CG: NO
AG: No? Wh8t the h8ll is that supposed to mean?
CG: IT MEANS NO I WILL NOT TELL YOU WHO I AM OR LET YOU TALK TO KARKAT
CG: I AM TIRED OF YOU VRISKA
CG: TIRED OF YOU RUINING THINGS JUST WHEN THEY SEEM GOOD
CG: I AM DOING MY BEST TO WASH MY HANDS OF YOU AND THAT IS THAT I WILL NOT CHANGE MY MIND NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU BEG OR PLEAD
AG: ........
AG: Oh my g8d. Fussy fangs?
CG: I NO LONGER FIND YOUR STUPID PET NAME CUTE AND I WOULD RATHER YOU WOULD NOT CALL ME THAT
AG: Alright, alright, I'm s8rry!!!!!!!!
AG: I'm s8rry I l8ft you alone for so long but it was import8nt and I didn't w8nt you to g8t hurt!
CG: SURE
CG: THAT IS ALSO WHY YOU NEVER TOLD ME WHERE YOU WERE GOING OR WHY, YOU SIMPLY LEFT ME ALONE TO FEND FOR MYSELF
CG: THAT IS DEFINITELY WHAT SOMEONE DOES WHEN THEY ARE WORRIED ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE'S WELLBEING
CG: I CAN'T BELIEVE I NEVER THOUGHT OF IT LIKE THAT BEFORE
AG: Look, I know I m8de a lot of mist8kes!
AG: 8ut please Kanaya, please, I'm in a lot of trouble and I need you now more than ever.

Kanaya stared at that last line for a very long time. She knew what she should do. She knew the choice she needed to make. She needed to tell Vriska to fuck off and to block her, to let her just go away and continue living her life as it was.

But she couldn't. She wanted to, but she couldn't.

Vriska had said she needed her.

CG: WHAT DO YOU NEED ME FOR
AG: I knew you'd come through and m8ke the right decision! :::
AG: 8ut... I guess the pro8lem is kind of complex.
AG: I turned Tavros.
CG: WHAT
CG: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU WHY WOULD YOU EVEN DO THAT
CG: I CANNOT EVEN THINK OF A PERSON WHO IS LESS EQUIPPED TO BE A RAINBOW DRINKER
CG: YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR MIND
AG: But I did it to h8lp him!
AG: I found out th8t 8ecoming one would cure his crippleness.
AG: And it did! I'm helping him fin8lly 8ecome stronger, okay?
CG: SO YOU ARE TRYING TO RELIEVE YOUR GUILT BY RIGHTING THE WRONGS YOU HAVE DONE TO HIM
CG: YOU REALIZE THIS IS ENTIRELY THE WRONG WAY TO GO ABOUT THIS
AG: Shut up! I know wh8t I'm doing.
AG: He's not the pro8lem. The pro8lem is that he convinced me to m8ke Gamzee into one too.
AG: We did it tonight.
AG: 8ut something went wrong.
CG: WHAT
AG: I d8n't kn8w!!!!!!!!
AG: I l8t Tavros turn him, 8ut after he sucked his 8lood, he got all loopy and weird! Like the sopor slime was affecting him.
AG: So I l8t Gamzee drink from me 8efore he died.
AG: Once Gamzee came to, he turned cr8zy and tried to fucking kill me!!!!!!!!
CG: YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY MEAN GAMZEE
AG: I knoooooooow!
AG: I don't know wh8t happened either! Just that he said something a8out su8jugglating me and attacked me!
CG: WHAT HAPPENED TO TAVROS
AG: I d8n't kn8w!!!!!!!!
AG: I h8d to le8ve him 8ehind!
CG: YOU WHAT
AG: Wh8t w8s I supposed to do???????? I couldn't get him to m8ve!
CG: OKAY LISTEN YOU JUST
CG: WAIT
AG: Wh8t?
CG: GAMZEE IS MESSAGING KARKAT NOW
AG: Oh god oh god oh god
AG: Don't answer him, he's ins8ne!
CG: I DON'T THINK I CAN NOT ANSWER HIM
CG: GIVE ME A MOMENT VRISKA

Kanaya stared for a long moment at the blinking window. She hoped Vriska was wrong, for Tavros's sake. Slowly, she managed to calm herself. This was Gamzee, after all, who didn't have a violent bone in his body. Surely it was just a misunderstanding. Surely.

She opened the tab.

-- terminallyCapricious [TC began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

TC: hello my motherfuckin bro.
TC: HOW ARE YOU?
TC: i'm pretty motherfucking good right now.
CG: HELLO GAMZEE
CG: I AM OKAY I GUESS BUT I WANTED TO ASK YOU ABOUT TAVROS
CG: IS HE WITH YOU
TC: OF COURSE HE IS MOTHERFUCKING WITH ME.
TC: of course he's with me.
TC: HE'S SLEEPING OFF THE MOTHERFUCKING SLIME IN HIS BLOOD.
TC: silly little bro. )
CG: OKAY THAT IS GOOD
CG: ALSO GAMZEE I HAVE NOTICED THAT YOU HAVE APPARENTLY CHANGED YOUR TYPING QUIRK AND I WANTED TO INQUIRE AS TO WHAT WOULD MAKE YOU DO THIS
TC: BECAUSE MOTHERFUCKER
TC: i got the slime flushed out. )
TC: AND NOW I'VE GOT A LOT OF MOTHERFUCKING UNDERSTANDING ABOUT WHO I AM SUPPOSED TO BE. Do:
CG: AND WHO IS THAT
TC: i am the subjugglator.
TC: AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE SUBJUGGLATOR MOTHERFUCKING DOES?
CG: I CANNOT SAY THAT I DO
TC: he kills all the dirty motherfuckers not fit to live.
TC: USES THEIR BLOOD TO PAINT HIS WICKED PICTURES.
TC: a double motherfucking rainbow all the way across alternia.
TC: SO TELL KARKAT
TC: tell my motherfucking bro
TC: THAT I'M GOING TO BE SEEING HIM SOON.
TC: gonna see what motherfucking color his motherfucking blood is. )
TC: AND YOU TOO MOTHERFUCKER.
TC: 'cause i don't appreciate motherfuckers who try to pretend they're someone they're not.
TC: HONK
TC: honk
TC: HONK

-- terminallyCapricious [TC] has ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

For a long moment, Kanaya stared at the screen in shock and dismay. And also, maybe a little fear.

Yes. Vriska had made a huge, huge mistake.

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Yeah. I totally went there. I mean, crazy homicidal clown vampire. What's not to love?

... Don't answer that.

Anyway. Plot's finally beginning to move in a non-romantic fashion, which is honestly what I feel a little more comfortable with. Not that the romance is going to be gone. Not by a long shot.

Hopefully, the number of chat logs didn't detract from the chapter, but it would have been hard to do otherwise. Next chapter will definitely have fewer, if any at all.

I am in love with this series. Also I am in love with your avatar. Excuse me while I go have a jealous fit.

[The Phoenixian]

Okay seriously. There is not enough actual trashy rainbow drinker fanfiction in this thread.

Lemme try to remedy that.

(Also lots of chatlogs this chapter, but they're kind essential to get the ball rolling on the plot. Next chapter won't be so heavy.)

Thicker Than Blood 4

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I have to say, this series I one I very much enjoy --- one of few works I've found anywhere worth rereading multiple times --- and I'm looking forward to seeing where it goes.

Actually, when I think about it, the entire fanfic section here is of pretty high quality in general.

EDIT:

Why do I get the feeling that every troll is either going to end up dead, a rainbow drinker, or Karkat "Spicy Blood" Vantas?

Now that thoughts have begun moving, I can only respond with the word "STRONG-pire!"... and everything it implies.

[draconicAlgorithm]

@ RogerMexico: I couldn't help it. I love creeper Gamzee. And making him a vampire only heightens the creepiness. (I imagine him as a Nosferatu-style vampire, btw)

And oh god that idea is priceless. I might have to use it, if only in a gag story or something...

@ kaoticAntagonist: LANDLOVVER i cant help it if im just the sexiest thing alivve

my story began in the twwelfth century

@ The Phoenixian: Yeah, the fanfics for Homestuck are all pretty good. I think the comic just naturally attracts good writers. (And artists too! And music composers! And... all the things.)

'"STRONG-pire!"' ... Oh man. I can't not use this now. Equius and Nepeta are actually the only trolls that I wasn't sure what I was going to do with in this story.

[billybobfred]

Thicker Than Blood 4

I forgot how much I liked this story.

Question: is it intentional that

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Gamzee figures out that Kanaya isn't Karkat and she doesn't notice?

I mean, she's pretty terrible at imitating him, but when Gamzee basically says "oh btw i know you're not him" and she didn't realize it, I kinda wondered...

[draconicAlgorithm]

Actually it's

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not that she doesn't notice he that knows so much as she doesn't really get a chance to respond. He doesn't make it clear until the end of the conversation that he realizes she isn't Karkat, by which point he's all "HONK HONK gonna kill ya motherfucker -leaves-" and then it just really isn't commented upon in the last part of the chapter. Also, keep in mind that the trolls are all used to oblivious Gamzee, who probably wouldn't know the difference.

[Sporkaganza]

Okay seriously. There is not enough actual trashy rainbow drinker fanfiction in this thread.

Lemme try to remedy that.

(Also lots of chatlogs this chapter, but they're kind essential to get the ball rolling on the plot. Next chapter won't be so heavy.)

Thicker Than Blood 4

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-- twinArmageddons [TA began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

TA: hii KK.
CG: WHAT THE FUCK, DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?
CG: IT WOULD JUST FUCKING FIGURE THAT YOU WOULD DECIDE TO TROLL ME THE MOMENT I'M ABOUT TO GO TO SLEEP.
TA: yeah iit'2 niice talkiing to you two.
TA: iit 2eem2 liike we never get the chance two anymore.
TA: but me and AD are doiing fiine, thank2 for a2kiing.
CG: HAVING FUN THERE?
TA: ye2 actually.
TA: you're almo2t tolerable when ii pretend you're actually talkiing to me liike a friiend ii2 2uppo2ed two.
CG: AND YET YOU KEEP TALKING TO ME. WHO IS THE IDIOT HERE?
TA: take2 one two know one, a22hole.
TA: 2eriiou2ly though, how are you? ii don't thiink we've talked 2iince... fuck.
TA: when diid we la2t talk.
CG: WHEN KANAYA AND I GOT TOGETHER? THAT'S THE LAST TIME I REMEMBER.
CG: WAS IT REALLY A MONTH AGO?
TA: oh yeah.
TA: how are you guy2?
CG: WE ARE ONLY THE BEST MOIRAIL PAIR ON THE PLANET.
CG: WHEN OTHER MOIRAILS SEE THE BOND THAT WE SHARE, THEY WEEP FOR THAT WHICH THEY CANNOT HAVE.
CG: OUR PALE RELATIONSHIP RIVALS THOSE TOLD OF IN THE GREAT EPICS WRITTEN BY SUCH MASTERFUL POETS AS TROLL HOMER AND TROLL VIRGIL.
CG: THAT IS HOW WE ARE DOING.
TA: whoa, don't be 2o down on your2elf.
TA: that'2 my job.
CG: YOUR COMMENTS DO NOT EVEN BURN. THAT IS HOW GREAT OUR RELATIONSHIP IS.
TA: oh god ii should have known.
TA: the kiing of romcoms fiill2 one quadrant and iit ii2 a great productiion.
CG: I DON'T SEE YOU FILLING MORE THAN ONE.
TA: how would you even know, we haven't 2poken iin a month.
CG: WELL?
TA: okay maybe iit'2 2tiill just AD
TA: but ii haven't exactly had a chance two explore other optiions.
TA: not that ii'm blamiing her or anythiing.
CG: SPEAKING OF WHICH, HOW IS SHE DOING? IS SHE STILL...
TA: 2carred and paralyzed? yeah.
TA: they don't exactly have a cure for that, dumba22.
CG: WELL EXCUSE ME FOR TRYING TO PRETEND I GIVE A FUCK.
TA: you're not exactly helpiing your2elf.
TA: maybe iif you weren't 2uch an iin2ufferable priick, you miight 2eem 2iincere.
CG: GOD DAMN, NOW I'M NOT EVEN SINCERE?
CG: I'M NOT THAT INSENSITIVE, YOU BIFURCATED FREAK.
TA: god KK you're 2o ea2y two tea2e.
TA: though ii thiink you have toned down a biit.
TA: KN mu2t be doiing 2omethiing riight.
CG: IF THE ONLY REASON YOU TROLLED ME WAS TO POKE FUN AT ME, THEN I'LL JUST GET OFF AND GO TO SLEEP.
CG: OR ISN'T THE SUN COMING UP OVER THERE?
TA: no actually.
TA: tiime zones KK.
TA: but alriight, ii get the me22age.
TA: ii ju2t had one other thing two a2k.
CG: THEN QUIT DANCING AROUND THE SUBJECT LIKE A BALLERANNIHILATOR AND FUCKING ASK.
TA: ii know you and hiim aren't exactly buddiie2, but have you heard from TV at all?
TA: AD 2tiill keep2 iin touch wiith hiim from her flarpiing day2, but 2he ha2n't heard from hiim iin about a month, and 2he'2 gettiing worriied.
CG: DO I LOOK LIKE THAT IDIOT'S KEEPER? I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE HE IS.
CG: PROBABLY FELL AND COULDN'T GET UP.
TA: do not even fuckiing joke about that, okay?
TA: kiinda clo2e two home.
CG: OKAY, OKAY, GOD, SORRY.
CG: BUT NO, I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HIM. LIKE YOU SAID, WE NEVER TALK.
TA: okay, that'2 fiine.
TA: ii'll tell her ii triied, anyway.
CG: YOU DO THAT. I'M GOING TO SLEEP.
TA: oh waiit.
CG: GOD WHAT NOW
TA: what about GZ?
CG: WHAT ABOUT HIM? I TALKED TO THE ANNOYING MORON LAST WEEK.
TA: he'2 pretty good friiend2 wiith TV, riight?
TA: he miight know 2omethiing.
CG: ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THE SAME GAMZEE? BECAUSE THE ONE I KNOW IS TOO HIGH OFF HIS ASS TO EVER REMEMBER ANYTHING.
TA: plea2e KK.
TA: for AD'2 peace of miind.
CG: FINE, I'LL TROLL HIM. JUST A MINUTE.
CG: SORRY, NO RESPONSE. LOOKS LIKE HE'S SO HIGH HE FORGOT HIS COMPUTER WAS ON OR SOMETHING.
CG: MAYBE HE'S LOST IN THE WONDER OF MAGNETS AGAIN.
TA: that'2 okay, he'll probably get back two you eventually.
TA: when he doe2, miind 2endiing me a liine?
CG: YEAH SURE.
CG: NOW SERIOUSLY, GET THE FUCK OFF OF THIS CHAT, I AM GOING TO SLEEP AND I DON'T CARE WHO ARGUES.
TA: heh, don't let the daymare2 get you.
CG: SHUT UP FUCKASS. I DON'T GET DAYMARES.
TA: whatever KK.

-- twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

"For a quick last conversation, that seemed quite long and arduous." Karkat glanced over his shoulder. Kanaya was perched upon the back of the dual-accommodation unit, looking at him with a smug grin while she held one of her novels in her hands. It wasn't a rainbow drinker one anymore—it looked to be about wizards instead. Karkat grinned back.

"It was Sollux, and we haven't talked for a while. I guess he was worried or something." Karkat shrugged.

"For such a long conversation, I find it hard to believe that the two of you were only exchanging pleasantries." Her voice had a joking lilt to it, and her eyes were mischievous. "Perhaps you were trading stories about your respective romantic partners?" Karkat rolled his eyes.

"Yes, he was complaining about Aradia and I was complaining about you being a rainbow drinker and we both just had a huge fucking angst party and cried on each others' shoulders." Her smirk did widen at that.

"Just as I thought. Speaking of Aradia, how is she?"

"Still the same, he said," Karkat replied, though his face fell somewhat. Kanaya's seemed to as well. "But, y'know, at least she's still psychic. She can move, just not... well." Kanaya nodded.

"It is still a sad and depressing existence. She is very lucky that she has such a kind matesprit to care for her. Not many are so fortunate."

"Yeah, but I think half of it is because he feels guilty." Karkat glanced back at the computer. It looked like Sollux had logged off for the day. "He still blames himself, even though that bitch was manipulating him." Kanaya nodded sadly.

"But at least they are okay and coping. That it what matters. Between the two of them, they will make it through."

"At least until she gets culled for being a cripple," Karkat added, derision in his voice. Kanaya couldn't bring herself to agree. They were both thinking the same thing—he was much in the same boat.

"Oh," Karkat added after a long moment of sad silence, "I guess Tavros hasn't been around either. Sollux was asking about him." Kanaya bit her lip but remained quiet. With Vriska unaccounted for, the fact that Tavros was missing was disconcerting. But it was none of her business now, she supposed. She wasn't Vriska's moirail anymore.

"Shouldn't you be getting to sleep?" She said instead, setting her book down. As if on cue, Karkat yawned.

"Fine, fine," he grumbled. "See you in the evening."

"Good day," she replied. With that, she stood and left him to finish getting undressed and climb into his recuperacoon. She, on the other hand, was quite awake. The sunlight outside beckoned.

Kanaya passed through the kitchen, remembering the first time she had gone through the room with a slight smile. She'd felt so lost and desperate then, but now... she was light. Happy. She had nearly everything she could hope for. If only Vriska was there as well... but no, she would ruin everything if she was.

She was jolted out of her thoughts by a low growl and the quiet clacking of claws. Unlike the first time she had walked through this kitchen, Karkat's lusus was awake. A single eye was open, staring at her with mild dislike. He had come to get used to her, but he in no way liked her. She simply smiled back and kept walking until she reached the door.

Outside, the sun shone down brilliantly. A quick glance at the rest of the lawn ring told Kanaya all she needed to know—none of the other local trolls were still awake. Blinds were pulled shut against the burning light of day, and they were likely all nestled in their recuperacoons just like her moirail. That suited her just fine. She walked around to the back of the hive, where she found her own secret getaway.

Okay, so it wasn't much of a getaway. It wasn't really secret, either. It was just a small garden where she grew various fruits and vegetables. Or she would, if she had large enough plants yet. None of them were ready to actually bear fruit, but soon they would. The plants still made her smile, and she enjoyed taking care of them. It had been so long since she had cared for any that she had really missed it.

She spent several hours tending to her small garden. She didn't have to worry about being seen. None of the other local trolls would dare open their shades during the day. It was simply too bright. A few had asked about the garden, however, and Karkat responded with a definitive, "Fuck off, I can do what I want." Few asked after that. It seemed as though he was not well liked by any of his neighbors.

After a long while in the garden and with dirty hands and clothes, Kanaya returned to the hive. By this time, Karkat's lusus was asleep, as was Karkat himself. She washed herself and changed clothes quickly. She had altered some of Karkat's old clothes to fit, as well as made more of her own. Becoming a rainbow drinker had certainly not lessened her sense of fashion, only made it difficult because of the drink-and-run lifestyle she once led. Now that she was once again in a hive, she had more time to work on the things she really enjoyed.

In fact, she had a dress she was currently working on. Once she had spent time in her garden, she usually used the latter half of her day to work on it. It was growing close to completion, and she was itching to finish. Even though Karkat was at best indifferent about her clothes, it was still nice to be able to show them off to someone.

Just as she was starting, however, she realized she had left her thread in Karkat's room. With a sigh, she quietly walked inside, intent on simply grabbing the spool and leaving. However, when she opened the door, she noticed with surprise that his computer was blinking. It looked as though he had forgotten to log off Trollian, and someone was trolling him.

Usually, Kanaya would have left it alone. She wasn't one to pry too much into Karkat's business unless she felt that it was her duty as his moirail to do so. However, when she saw the text color of the person messaging him, she couldn't stop herself. She moved to the computer in a flash.

What was Vriska doing trying to get a hold of Karkat?

-- arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

AG: Look, Karkat, I know we aren't ex8ctly good friends or anything like that.
AG: Hell, I guess we kind of desp8se each other.
AG: 8ut I'm in a j8m right now and you're the only person I can talk to!!!!!!!!
AG: ... Karkat?
AG: Are you ignoring me?
AG: You son of a 8itch, you 8etter not 8e!!!!!!!!
AG: Oh, shit. You're pro8a8ly asleep and left your computer on.
AG: D8MMIT!!!!!!!!
CG: wHAT dO yOU wANT vRISKA
CG: OOPS
CG: I MEAN WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT VRISKA
AG: Karkat? Oh th8nk god I w8s wrong for once.
AG: I think I really scr8wed up and I d8n't know wh8t to do and I need h8lp!!!!!!!!
CG: WHY SHOULD I HELP YOU
CG: YOU ARE A MANIPULATIVE BITCH AND I WOULD MUCH RATHER HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU DO NOTHING BUT WRECK LIVES
AG: What the h8ll, I n8v8r did 8nything to y8u!!!!!!!!
CG: BUT I HAVE SEEN WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO OTHERS AND I DO NOT INTEND TO LET MYSELF FOLLOW THEIR PATH AND ASSOCIATE WITH YOU
CG: FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO BE YOUR LACKEY I WILL NOT TAKE PART IN YOUR PLANS OR HELP FURTHER WHATEVER AGENDA YOU MAY HAVE
AG: W8it a minute.
AG: This d8esn't sound like Karkat.
AG: Wh8 is this????????
CG: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT I AM OBVIOUSLY KARKAT THERE SHOULD BE NO DOUBT ABOUT THAT
AG: You've only c8lled me a 8itch once and you h8ve yet to say fuck, even though y8u just had a big long tir8de up there.
AG: Quit messing with me and f8ss up! Who is th8s and l8t m8 t8lk to K8rk8t!!!!!!!!
CG: NO
AG: No? Wh8t the h8ll is that supposed to mean?
CG: IT MEANS NO I WILL NOT TELL YOU WHO I AM OR LET YOU TALK TO KARKAT
CG: I AM TIRED OF YOU VRISKA
CG: TIRED OF YOU RUINING THINGS JUST WHEN THEY SEEM GOOD
CG: I AM DOING MY BEST TO WASH MY HANDS OF YOU AND THAT IS THAT I WILL NOT CHANGE MY MIND NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU BEG OR PLEAD
AG: ........
AG: Oh my g8d. Fussy fangs?
CG: I NO LONGER FIND YOUR STUPID PET NAME CUTE AND I WOULD RATHER YOU WOULD NOT CALL ME THAT
AG: Alright, alright, I'm s8rry!!!!!!!!
AG: I'm s8rry I l8ft you alone for so long but it was import8nt and I didn't w8nt you to g8t hurt!
CG: SURE
CG: THAT IS ALSO WHY YOU NEVER TOLD ME WHERE YOU WERE GOING OR WHY, YOU SIMPLY LEFT ME ALONE TO FEND FOR MYSELF
CG: THAT IS DEFINITELY WHAT SOMEONE DOES WHEN THEY ARE WORRIED ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE'S WELLBEING
CG: I CAN'T BELIEVE I NEVER THOUGHT OF IT LIKE THAT BEFORE
AG: Look, I know I m8de a lot of mist8kes!
AG: 8ut please Kanaya, please, I'm in a lot of trouble and I need you now more than ever.

Kanaya stared at that last line for a very long time. She knew what she should do. She knew the choice she needed to make. She needed to tell Vriska to fuck off and to block her, to let her just go away and continue living her life as it was.

But she couldn't. She wanted to, but she couldn't.

Vriska had said she needed her.

CG: WHAT DO YOU NEED ME FOR
AG: I knew you'd come through and m8ke the right decision! :::
AG: 8ut... I guess the pro8lem is kind of complex.
AG: I turned Tavros.
CG: WHAT
CG: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU WHY WOULD YOU EVEN DO THAT
CG: I CANNOT EVEN THINK OF A PERSON WHO IS LESS EQUIPPED TO BE A RAINBOW DRINKER
CG: YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR MIND
AG: But I did it to h8lp him!
AG: I found out th8t 8ecoming one would cure his crippleness.
AG: And it did! I'm helping him fin8lly 8ecome stronger, okay?
CG: SO YOU ARE TRYING TO RELIEVE YOUR GUILT BY RIGHTING THE WRONGS YOU HAVE DONE TO HIM
CG: YOU REALIZE THIS IS ENTIRELY THE WRONG WAY TO GO ABOUT THIS
AG: Shut up! I know wh8t I'm doing.
AG: He's not the pro8lem. The pro8lem is that he convinced me to m8ke Gamzee into one too.
AG: We did it tonight.
AG: 8ut something went wrong.
CG: WHAT
AG: I d8n't kn8w!!!!!!!!
AG: I l8t Tavros turn him, 8ut after he sucked his 8lood, he got all loopy and weird! Like the sopor slime was affecting him.
AG: So I l8t Gamzee drink from me 8efore he died.
AG: Once Gamzee came to, he turned cr8zy and tried to fucking kill me!!!!!!!!
CG: YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY MEAN GAMZEE
AG: I knoooooooow!
AG: I don't know wh8t happened either! Just that he said something a8out su8jugglating me and attacked me!
CG: WHAT HAPPENED TO TAVROS
AG: I d8n't kn8w!!!!!!!!
AG: I h8d to le8ve him 8ehind!
CG: YOU WHAT
AG: Wh8t w8s I supposed to do???????? I couldn't get him to m8ve!
CG: OKAY LISTEN YOU JUST
CG: WAIT
AG: Wh8t?
CG: GAMZEE IS MESSAGING KARKAT NOW
AG: Oh god oh god oh god
AG: Don't answer him, he's ins8ne!
CG: I DON'T THINK I CAN NOT ANSWER HIM
CG: GIVE ME A MOMENT VRISKA

Kanaya stared for a long moment at the blinking window. She hoped Vriska was wrong, for Tavros's sake. Slowly, she managed to calm herself. This was Gamzee, after all, who didn't have a violent bone in his body. Surely it was just a misunderstanding. Surely.

She opened the tab.

-- terminallyCapricious [TC began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

TC: hello my motherfuckin bro.
TC: HOW ARE YOU?
TC: i'm pretty motherfucking good right now.
CG: HELLO GAMZEE
CG: I AM OKAY I GUESS BUT I WANTED TO ASK YOU ABOUT TAVROS
CG: IS HE WITH YOU
TC: OF COURSE HE IS MOTHERFUCKING WITH ME.
TC: of course he's with me.
TC: HE'S SLEEPING OFF THE MOTHERFUCKING SLIME IN HIS BLOOD.
TC: silly little bro. )
CG: OKAY THAT IS GOOD
CG: ALSO GAMZEE I HAVE NOTICED THAT YOU HAVE APPARENTLY CHANGED YOUR TYPING QUIRK AND I WANTED TO INQUIRE AS TO WHAT WOULD MAKE YOU DO THIS
TC: BECAUSE MOTHERFUCKER
TC: i got the slime flushed out. )
TC: AND NOW I'VE GOT A LOT OF MOTHERFUCKING UNDERSTANDING ABOUT WHO I AM SUPPOSED TO BE. Do:
CG: AND WHO IS THAT
TC: i am the subjugglator.
TC: AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE SUBJUGGLATOR MOTHERFUCKING DOES?
CG: I CANNOT SAY THAT I DO
TC: he kills all the dirty motherfuckers not fit to live.
TC: USES THEIR BLOOD TO PAINT HIS WICKED PICTURES.
TC: a double motherfucking rainbow all the way across alternia.
TC: SO TELL KARKAT
TC: tell my motherfucking bro
TC: THAT I'M GOING TO BE SEEING HIM SOON.
TC: gonna see what motherfucking color his motherfucking blood is. )
TC: AND YOU TOO MOTHERFUCKER.
TC: 'cause i don't appreciate motherfuckers who try to pretend they're someone they're not.
TC: HONK
TC: honk
TC: HONK

-- terminallyCapricious [TC] has ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG] --

For a long moment, Kanaya stared at the screen in shock and dismay. And also, maybe a little fear.

Yes. Vriska had made a huge, huge mistake.

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Yeah. I totally went there. I mean, crazy homicidal clown vampire. What's not to love?

... Don't answer that.

Anyway. Plot's finally beginning to move in a non-romantic fashion, which is honestly what I feel a little more comfortable with. Not that the romance is going to be gone. Not by a long shot.

Hopefully, the number of chat logs didn't detract from the chapter, but it would have been hard to do otherwise. Next chapter will definitely have fewer, if any at all.

This is fantastic! I want more of this. Lots more!