MSPA Fanfiction VI: Trashy Rainbow Drinker Fanfiction

[Tazaran]

OH MY GAWD YES! Kanaya/Rose fanfiction FTW

[Doodled]

I'm gonna be honest, I only barely know what's going on with the GLaDOS stuff, but ignorant as I am, I still love it! Good going, guys.

MORE METAL: The Shadow over Tacoma, Chapter 3: Stubborn Throes (not the end like I thought, shrug.)

...

Bravo. Bravo.

It's late, and I'm not tired.

Please accept this mediocre offering:


Internet Apocalypse (Chapter 1, if I should make more. :P)

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Nobody has commented on this yet, so I shall step in.
Yes. Moar. Please.

er...

Okay.

Internet Apocalypse (Chapter 2)

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Karkat was dumpy. Disturbingly dumpy.

AH shuddered. This was not how he planned on spending this evening. He was going to do something involving a few of them, but...

The trolls were not expecting this either. They gawked in wide-eyed wonder as their acquaintances continued tumbling into the room.

Within a few minutes, all of the trolls were standing right in Andrew's computer room, just... ogling.

They're so... stout...

To his realization, the electronic "SHOOSH"ing had started up again.

As Gamzee's face came languidly out of the monitor, the room went cold.

He stood alongside them merely moments later, with all expecting him to go batshit insane and murder them all...

But the glazed eyes made it clear that he had no murderous intentions.

Thank gog...

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?"

AH came to his senses and quickly prepared an allocution with which to demonstrate his-

HOLY SHIT

He fell back, hitting the carpet.

Lifting his head, blinking, and rubbing his eyes, he tried to make sure that he really was seeing what he was seeing.

The trolls had taken on a more-human form, becoming taller and lankier.

The green image on the computer screen dimmed into nothingness, and the computer shut off.

Andrew took in a deep breath.

This was going to be a long day.

---

Back-up discs really were a wonder.

He was never going to use that computer again, unless he had a sudden urge to possibly get fractured by a beryl blast from the monitor.

Thankfully, he could just put the back-up disc in the laptop, and presto! there's the sprite files for Homestuck right there!

It was surprisingly easy to get them to believe AH about him creating them.

A little too easy...

But it didn't bug him very much.

In fact, he was surprised by his own ability to be cool about the whole situation...

Of course, there was the issue of where the trolls could stay, what they could eat, and so on.

He tried to simply go out and buy enough food, postponing the fixing of the crack in the ceiling, before it occurred to him that he pretty much controlled everything about them. One half-assed, yet still hilarious update later, and the trolls were easily filled up with tap water, and Mountain Dew made a perfect substitute for sleeping in. It was hard to find enough tubs to fill that the trolls could sleep in, but it wasn't hard to change them to a smaller, more symbolic size in the comic, making so that they could even fit in a popcorn bowl. Sadly, his numerous pail collection could not be used, and was most definitely the cause of Equius racing out of the kitchen screaming for towels.

That night, the curiously satisfied Andrew sat in front of the television, watching the nightly news.

"...unknown gang of robbers robbed a local bank in Massachusetts, led by what witnesses report as a 'tall, gangly, pale man with a top hat, leading other gangly pale men.' Judging by this photograph taken by a local, it appears to be the same man who killed a local internet-artist two days ago. More information to come as it is available."

Hmph... That...

Doesn't matter to me at all. Why the fuck am I watching the news, anyway?

Andrew turned off the TV and walked back upstairs, ignoring the sleeping trolls submerged in tubs of Mountain Dew.

He was about to get in bed, when a sudden draft hit him.

That's... Different.

He always closed all the windows before snoozing. All of them.

...first time for everything, I guess.

He quickly searched the scarce upstairs rooms, still ignoring the few sleepy corn-horned dumpy aliens submerged in tubs of carbonated soda.

Andrew opened the door to the room at the end of the hall, the computer room, and-

holy... fuck...

Vriska lay splayed across her make-shift recuperacoon, her azure blood beginning to curl around the edges of her dead body.

Had it just been her inert body, the calm and collected Andrew would have been only severely disconcerted. However, written next to her body in a clumsy finger-writing was

HONK

...

"...f-f...f-f-ffffuuuuuuck!"

A/N

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I never thought in my entire life that I was ever going to type out the phrase

"He quickly searched the scarce upstairs rooms, still ignoring the few sleepy corn-horned dumpy aliens submerged in tubs of carbonated soda."

and mean it semi-seriously.

[anonymousComrade]

So technically, the next chapter of Re: Champion is done after like a week of sitting on it

...but I don't think I like it very much

Gonna look over it, see if I can at least make it good enough to post tonight. Stay tuned!

[Tazaran]

FFFFFFFFFIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRR R AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRC

[champlooCanti]

Now with 100% more fighting.

Blind Troll Samurai, Second Bunkai

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Just then, the teahouse doors swung open. Eridan, the prefectural governor, stood in the threshold with a huge rifle and a warrant from the shogunate. His rich purple kimono and expensive-looking glasses sparkled in the midday sun. Jade thought he looked like a real tool.

“Evverbody get the fuck outta here,” he said. “Except for you, Ronin Strider.”

He jabbed a bejeweled finger towards the cool customer in the shades.

“You’re comin’ with me, dead or alivve.”

Strider cracked his neck and scratched his head. Other than that, he didn’t move. The other customers saw the rifle and made plans elsewhere.

“You supposed to be Elmer Fudd or something?”

Eridan flushed purple and gnashed his sharp teeth.

“Don’t even go there you filthy landlovver,” he said. “Makin’ fun of a guy’s speech impediment is just—just fuckin’ unconscionable.”

“Oh jegus please don’t cry about it.”

Too late. Violet tears were already welling up.

“You got a lot a fuckin’ nervve! It’s hard workin’ for the govvernment, and now I havve to put up with lip from some human? It ain't fair!"

He closed his eyes and started firing wildly. Smoke and splinters of wood filled the dining room.

"See what I mean? Samurai are always purring up trouble!"

Nepeta pulled her hat over her ears and hunkered down next to the kitchen wall. Equius just stood and watched the gunfire, sweating. Jade peered out from behind the doorframe.

When the first shot went off, Strider kicked his table up to give himself cover and grabbed his swords. The table soon disintegrated from being riddled with bullets, and Strider had to zigzag across the room to avoid being riddled himself.

Finally Eridan ran out of bullets. As the clip dropped out of his rifle, Strider flowed towards him, katana pointed at his abdomen. He finished reloading just in time and yanked his rifle up, deflecting the thrust, then yanked the trigger. The shot singed Strider's sideburn and deafened them both.

Strider slashed down, but Eridan jumped back and fired again, this time burning a hole in the ronin's sleeve. The hot casing spun in the air, and Strider had closed the distance between himself and the troll before it hit the ground. As Eridan's fingers pressed down on the trigger, Strider juked right, grabbed the boiling barrel with one hand, and slid his katana through the governor's ribs with the other.

"Shhh. Only dreams now."

By the way, the Internet Apocalypse stuff is priceless. Please keep going, and please include more phrases like "They're... so... stout..."

[outlandishJournalist]

Well, okay. This is my first one shot Homestuck fanfiction, as well as my first art posted on here.

Destiny

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TA: but before ii diie, iim goiing two go bliind liike you.
TA: iit ha2 two happen liike that.
TA: iim not 2ure why, but ii thiink iit2 liike...
TA: fulfiilliing 2ome requiirement for a true prophet of doom.

Sollux fingered his brand new headset, getting used to the feel of it on his head. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen this coming; he was destined to go blind. He was destined to die twice. Feferi was destined to die. Destiny destiny destiny. That was all that mattered, wasn’t it? Fate often played its hand at inopportune times, sometimes working with you, but mostly in Sollux’s case against you. What made this worse is that he knew it was coming. He knew he was going to go blind. He knew he would die twice. He knew Feferi was going to die. However, the key was that he didn’t know how, why, or when. Otherwise he would’ve fought against his own destiny, to pave his own path in his life. If he had known Eridan would blind him and kill Feferi, he would have tried not to be provoked.

Would’ve done this, would’ve done that. Could Sollux really have changed his own life, maybe even the lives of all the trolls around him? There wasn’t a moment that the nearly blind troll tried to replay his actions, influence them, change them. And yet, now parts of his life were better. The voices of the dead and soon to be dead that had haunted him for so long were silent, his lisp was gone (though that was more thanks to the idiotic actions of Karkat), and he could still use Trollian. He wasn’t entirely sure how he could, but he could hear what the other trolls were typing. It was like how Terezi could taste words, he could hear them as plainly as if someone was reading them to him.

Even with all of these positives to his new life, Feferi was gone. She was happier where she was, yes, but now Sollux found himself once again without a matespirit- or anyone in any red quadrant for that matter. He felt alone at some points, and his only company was Karkat who certainly wasn’t very comforting at some points. Sollux constantly had to tell his mind to shut up as it started recalling Aradia’s explosion and their last hug, or Feferi’s death even though he hadn’t actually seen it. Yes, now his life was far better than it was before, but he knew that he would never have the perfect life that he wished he could have led. The perfect life that he knew he was never destined to have.

-goes to hide-

[Doodled]

Now with 100% more fighting.

Blind Troll Samurai, Second Bunkai

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Just then, the teahouse doors swung open. Eridan, the prefectural governor, stood in the threshold with a huge rifle and a warrant from the shogunate. His rich purple kimono and expensive-looking glasses sparkled in the midday sun. Jade thought he looked like a real tool.

“Evverbody get the fuck outta here,” he said. “Except for you, Ronin Strider.”

He jabbed a bejeweled finger towards the cool customer in the shades.

“You’re comin’ with me, dead or alivve.”

Strider cracked his neck and scratched his head. Other than that, he didn’t move. The other customers saw the rifle and made plans elsewhere.

“You supposed to be Elmer Fudd or something?”

Eridan flushed purple and gnashed his sharp teeth.

“Don’t even go there you filthy landlovver,” he said. “Makin’ fun of a guy’s speech impediment is just—just fuckin’ unconscionable.”

“Oh jegus please don’t cry about it.”

Too late. Violet tears were already welling up.

“You got a lot a fuckin’ nervve! It’s hard workin’ for the govvernment, and now I havve to put up with lip from some human? It ain't fair!"

He closed his eyes and started firing wildly. Smoke and splinters of wood filled the dining room.

"See what I mean? Samurai are always purring up trouble!"

Nepeta pulled her hat over her ears and hunkered down next to the kitchen wall. Equius just stood and watched the gunfire, sweating. Jade peered out from behind the doorframe.

When the first shot went off, Strider kicked his table up to give himself cover and grabbed his swords. The table soon disintegrated from being riddled with bullets, and Strider had to zigzag across the room to avoid being riddled himself.

Finally Eridan ran out of bullets. As the clip dropped out of his rifle, Strider flowed towards him, katana pointed at his abdomen. He finished reloading just in time and yanked his rifle up, deflecting the thrust, then yanked the trigger. The shot singed Strider's sideburn and deafened them both.

Strider slashed down, but Eridan jumped back and fired again, this time burning a hole in the ronin's sleeve. The hot casing spun in the air, and Strider had closed the distance between himself and the troll before it hit the ground. As Eridan's fingers pressed down on the trigger, Strider juked right, grabbed the boiling barrel with one hand, and slid his katana through the governor's ribs with the other.

"Shhh. Only dreams now."

By the way, the Internet Apocalypse stuff is priceless. Please keep going, and please include more phrases like "They're... so... stout..."

Action. I love it.

Also, thanks.

Here's some more:

Internet Apocalypse (Chapter 3)

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Kanaya was the first to cause a problem not related to murder.

Even though the rest of the trolls (especially Nepeta) were curious about Earth, they were content to not have to go out into the glaring sunlight. In fact, Karkat spent most of that morning after the murder watching some of the movies John had always told him about, which Andrew had actually bought on DVD after writing about them for two years... Karkat was merely fighting off boredom at first, but the next time AH checked on him, he was crying in a fetal position, too mesmerized by the film to even vociferate a "FUCK-ASS!"

I... Don't remember making him like that...

Kanaya, however, was another story.

She, of course, loved the sunlight, keeping her curiosity un-barred.

It didn't help that she had become a rainbow-drinker overnight.

It was a heavy draft that woke Andrew up. He checked the computer room, but Vriska was still dead in the tub, and he had already closed the window.

In was actually in the dining room that Feferi and Kanaya were sharing.

Kanaya had bit Feferi, leaving the green bite marks that AH himself had drawn, giving him the most devastating sense of deja vu...

Then she jumped out the window.

Thankfully, she hadn't gone the route of Gamzee, apparently, as Feferi was able to wake up feeling just a bit groggy.

Unfortunately, that made two gray-skinned sometimes-stout corn-horned aliens out in the real world, almost certainly running amok.

Even stranger, Aradia had apparently changed into her god-tier clothes overnight.

This is... fucking... weird... and... stuff...

The irony of him only now finding this weird satisfied AH, and as such, he went to the computer room with a smug, calm look on his face.

Then he saw Vriska and the HONK on the floor, and almost took a repeated plunge off the hook and into bat-shit insanity.

Luckily, Terezi was willing to lead the clean-up, as well as investigate the crime.

Unfortunately, she only found out what they already knew: Gamzee had killed Vriska, via two large clubs sandwiching her skull.

Karkat shuddered, either from the blood, from what Gamzee did, from Vriska being dead, from Terezi being so chipper about all this, or, most likely, all of above.

To get away from all this and pull his thoughts together, Andrew quickly went down-stairs and flipped on the TV.

"...this "Capricorn Killer" has left hundreds bludgeoned in Central Park, leaving no physical evidence, no photographic evidence, and only a few living witnesses to describe the incident..."

"...horrifying!"
"There was blood everywhere..."
"...and then this clammy-ass motherfucker with all these fucking candy corns on his head and some purple shit on his shirt came up to everyone and started beating their fucking faces in with some bad-ass club-things, god-damn that was fucking hardcore!... And... Terrible. Bad. Not... Not a good thing. I feel so... so lucky to be alive... Uh, yeah, so... Hi mo-"

"With the death toll at 216 and counting, police are still looking for any tips about this psychopath... And now over to weather with..."

As some dumb bitch started rattling off about the upcoming clouds or some shit, Andrew stared slack-jawed at the TV screen.

...

...

"f-f-f...ffffuuuuu-"

"WH4T? WH4T H4PP3N3D?"

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What shenanigans should they get up to next?

Edit: @oJ: Get out of hiding! That's good!

[outlandishJournalist]

Edit: @oJ: Get out of hiding! That's good!

R-really?
Well, I need to find myself a new prompt. x) I had that idea playing around in my head a bit.

[anonymousComrade]

Welp

Here it is

Re: Champion - Chapter 3: Mission

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Perigrees in the future, but not many...

"Pain Squad!"

"Squad Leader Ginbu reporting in!"

"Pestilence Squad!"

"Squad Leader Histrellin reporting, sir!"

"Famine Squad!"

"Squad Leader Chiron ready, sir!"

"Death Squad!"

"Squad Leader Kirine reporting!"

Commander Suzach, leader of War Squad, confirms all four groups under his command are ready, and begins relaying the mission to his underlings.

"Pain and Death Squads, you're to meet up with War Squad and the Swordsmanglers at the coordinates I'm sending you and flush out the Oni fighters holed up there. Famine Squad, you will provide backup for the Cavalreapers at these ruins approximately ten miles east of your current location. Pestilence Squad, you'll be holding the bridge at this position so they can't send reinforcements to either site." A section of the map glows on the HUD in Karkinos's helmet, indicating the position Pestilence Squad is to defend.

"Are all SLs clear on their objectives?"

"Yes sir!" The four of them answered simultaneously on the comlink.

"Alright, Pestilence Squad, we're approaching your drop zone. Prepare to deploy."

----------

Karkinos enters the left-most box in the drop bay as his squad fills the rest of them, one by one. He straps himself in carefully and awaits the signal to release.

The green light blinks on to his right. He pulls the lever and he can hear the air shooshing around him as the dropbox begins its descent.

Wait for it... the green light flashes red and he pushes the lever back up, activating the crash response system designed to keep the occupant alive upon impact. Seconds later, the box comes to a sudden stop. Karkinos's vision blurs and his stomach lurches inside his armor for a moment but otherwise he's fine.

He kicks the front panel of the dropbox loose to make his exit and check his surroundings. They're near the bridge, the choke point for today's mission, and Pestilence Squad's objective is to defend it and ensure enemy reinforcements can't come through.

All twelve members of Pestilence are accounted for. Now they wait.

And wait.

And wait.

And wait.

----------

Two hours have passed since mission start. They've been holding this position since then. There's some radio chatter sometimes when inter-squad communication is necessary, but nothing else is happening. Pestilence Squad has yet to encounter so much as a lone enemy soldier, and they're growing restless, including their Squad Leader.

"Get me a satellite feed of the surrounding area," Karkinos orders his comms tech. Aside from themselves and site of Famine's battle, there's nothing moving on his HUD.

"Heat sensor on." Nothing but cold ground surrounding the two units for miles. "Infrared on." Nothing that could even be almost mistaken for enemy soldiers, anywhere.

This is not the first time this has happened. It's the fifth deployment for Karkinos's Pestilence Squad Threshecutioners, but their combat record so far is zero engagements, zero kills. Every time they're in the field, their objective is to guard some remote area, away from any real action, that command swears is "strategically important", yet they never encounter resistance of any sort. It keeps happening.

And then it hits him: this was a setup. They couldn't stop Karkinos from becoming Pestilence's SL, so some purpleblooded grubfucker in command made sure he'd never do anything more important than scrub load gapers. Can't let a lowly greenblood prove himself on the fucking battlefield, after all, he might kick a little more ass than everyone else! If they knew what color his blood really is, they'd shit themselves with rage.

(Well. Fuck that, I said.)

He whistles for the attention of his soldiers before he addresses them. "Guys, we've been duped. This assignment is a fucking joke and I think we all know it."

Murmurs of agreement pass among his team before he continues. "Some ancient fucking geezer in High Command must think we can't hack it. They're probably saying 'oh, that asshole's blood is green, he's no good, he can't lead the Threshe-fucking-cutioners!'

But that's bullshit, because we're all still fucking here! If any of us didn't have what it takes, we would have dropped out in basic or gotten ourselves culled. But the fact that we're still standing here, part of the toughest fighting force in this entire goddamn galaxy--" The team begins to cheer at this, and he has to wave them down to continue. "--the fact that you're all still here proves we're better than this guard houndbeast shit they're making us do."

The comlink crackles to life. It's a distress signal, one from a voice he recognizes. "This is Squad Leader Chiron of Famine Squad Threshecutioners, requesting backup! They're everywhere, they've got us surrounded and we've taken casualties!"

Another voice responds. "Commander Suzach of War Squad here, backup will arrive in forty-five minutes."

"We can't wait that long, there's more of them here than we thought, sir!"

"Forty-five minutes, SL, that's the quickest we can get there."

Karkinos has heard enough. Forty-five minutes? Fuck that, we're maybe fifteen minutes away and bored out of our goddamned think pans. He turns to his squad.

("We've got ourselves a rescue operation.")

----------

As he nears the battle site, once he begins hearing the sounds of battle, immediately he knows something is wrong. From the sound of things, there should be dozens of Oni fighters here, if not hundreds. The report of gunfire in the area is repeating too often for the Oni presence to be anything less.

Which is why it's such a surprise to Karkinos to find, after his unit has approached the battlefield closely enough to examine the situation, that as far as he can ascertain, four enemy soldiers are pinning down at least two dozen Cavalreapers and Threshecutioners.

He splits his team into four groups of three (smaller units are stealthier, he recalls from training) as they make their approach. If they're to have any hope of success in getting their comrades out of this mess, they'll need to be quick, quiet, and above all, efficient.

Karkinos's team approaches an automatic firearms nest, as does the other three-man teams of Pestilence Squad, using the terrain, ruins and overgrowth as cover. Synchronization is key now, one false move could alert the opposition and get the entire group killed.

He brings a hand to his helmet and presses a sequence of buttons.

-- pestilenceLeader [PL] is requesting response from: all members of Pestilence Squad Threshecutioners. Reason: confirm when ready to attack, then await my signal. --

pestilenceLeader [PL] has responded.
pestilenceSeven [P7] has responded.
pestilenceNine [P9] has responded.
pestilenceTwo [P2] has responded.
pestilenceEleven [P11] has responded.
pestilenceFour [P4] has responded.
pestilenceOne [P1] has responded.
pestilenceThree [P3] has responded.
pestilenceSix [P6] has responded.
pestilenceTen [P10] has responded.
pestilenceFive [P5] has responded.
pestilenceSeven [P7] has responded.
pestilenceEight [P8] has responded.

-- All members confirmed. Closing response request. --

Karkinos moves into position and waves his squadmates on. They take support positions to provide suppressive fire in case something goes wrong, just as practiced countless times. He takes a deep breath as he readies his rifle, then keys in another sequence.

The timer on the soldiers' HUDs begins counting down from five. At three, Karkinos begins rounding the corner. At two, his squadmates step out of cover long enough to place the Oni gunner in their sights. At one, four very surprised enemy soliders barely have time to register what is happening.

(At zero, four shots simultaneously crack before all is silent.)

----------

Two days later...

"So let me get this straight," the captain asks, in a tone that Karkinos can't really place but has to be somewhere between unnaturally calm and disturbingly stoic, "so I know what to put in the official record of this incident."

He paces in a circle around Karkinos as he continues, puffing on his cigar all the while. "You and your Threshecutioners, Pestilence Squad Leader Histrellin, were assigned to guard the bridge near where Famine Squad and a detachment of Cavalreapers were engaging the enemy."

"Yes, sir."

"Then, when no enemy reinforcements came, you left your post to respond to a distress call, one already addressed by Commander Suzach here, without so much as notifying anyone."

"Yes, sir."

"You then proceeded to break up your soldiers into smaller teams, seperating them from the unit and putting their own lives in danger, in order to surround the enemy and eliminate them. Am I correct?"

"...yes, sir."

"In short, you ignored the orders of your commander and began an unauthorized rescue mission that put the lives of your entire squad in jeopardy. You realize this is insubordination, Squad Leader Histrellin?"

He only catches a short glance of Commander Suzach's shit-eating grin before addressing the captain. "I understand, sir."

"Ordinarily, this is the sort of thing people get culled for. But in this case, I believe I can make an exception."

Suzach's expression instantly drops into a scowl. "Sir, what are you saying?"

The captain continued. "Histrellin's actions may have been reckless, but because of his quick response, the battle ended with only three casualties and one injured on our side, and it's likely Sergeant Torroa will make a full recovery."

Suzach stands up. "But sir---"

"Commander. You are dismissed." The captain waits for him to exit the room before continuing.

"...Histrellin. I'll see to it that the charges of insubordination against you are dropped. As far as I'm concerned, you're a damned hero for saving your fellow soldiers' asses, and that's how brass is gonna hear about it. But I gotta tell you now, there's a rift in this level of command, and you're pretty much the reason for it."

"Sir?"

"Some officers can't stand that someone with your blood is actually making it as a Threshecutioner. They're looking for every chance they can get to keep you down or get you culled. But there's a group of us, and it's getting bigger every day, and we're thinking 'to hell with the hemospectrum.'

We're doing okay here, in the inner worlds. We can swarm the Oni before they can really set up shop, so I doubt they could ever hit Alternia. But out there, beyond the Inner Ring, it's a different story. We're outmatched, outgunned, and outmanuevered at every turn. We've got numbers but their stratagies and tech are destroying us, and we need asskickers of every shade, son. If we're only going to let blues lead the front lines, well, the future doesn't look so good."

The captain extends his hand. "Eh, I'm rambling. Point is, don't worry about what happened, I'll take care of it. Dismissed, soldier."

Karkinos shakes his hand before snapping into a salute. "Yes, sir!"

Notes:

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This is stupid. Stupid stupid dumb.

It's too short for a week's delay between this and the last chapter, there's not enough action, and I've finally proven that I really have no idea how a military works.

I hope this doesn't blow up in my face later! I have all kinds of adventures planned for later chapters (including the next one, shit's gonna be awesome enough to make up for this trash if I have any say in the matter) but nobody's going to read them if the beginning parts are awful. I like the first two parts of this series but the last two just don't seem as good and this is easily the worst.

This shit gets better soon, I promise.

Anyway, an idea not related to being down on myself: the Alternian army trains its soldiers in hand-to-hand weapons, but these are mainly for backup/close quarters combat only, and the rifle is the main weapon for soldiers, regardless of title. Archeradictators may be the exception but I see them as more of a ceremonial post than actual combat duty.

[Graven_Image]

And now, the latest installment of Graven/Skaian metaness.

Thank You For Helping Us Help You Help Us All

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"Hello, again. To reiterate-- ZZZZZorrrrrrrrrrrrrpreviouswarningZZZZ --- temporal manipulation."

Tim had heard the computer (Who he assumed was devilsFood) repeat that same phrase twelve times. He had run through this conksuck veil death course twelve times.

He had come this close to dying twelve times.

The first time, he had been ambushed by turret imps. The next three times, he had mistimed a jump and fallen twelve stories before rewinding. The nine times after that, his progress had been deemed "unacceptable" and the walls had begun to close in.

And if he tried to rewind past the point where the robot captured him, he would still get manhandled and transported here, despite all efforts to the contrary.

"You have not moved yet. Your performance has been termed-- ~Unacceptable."

whiiiiir

Once more, from the top.

OPEN PESTERLOG

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RM: For you see, GLaDOS is somebody to watch.
RM: uh huh
RM: Once, she was just a menace, to be found out and deactivated.
RM: But she always manages to be where the evidence isn't.
RM: She's the most dangerous type of murderer.
RM: The kind with vision.
RM: i don't suppose you're going to start making sense anytime soon?
RM: Well, I could.
RM: But what fun would that be?

OPEN PESTERLOG

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GF: New Yorkers talk like they're all big and bad.
GF: I bet they don't deal with half of this shit in the subway!
GF: I think if I ever hear someone complain about his commute again, I'm just gonna punch him in the face.
DF: PLeAse leaVE tHiS ch~annel.
DF: I'm af~raID you are UnAuthorized For ItS ~use.
GF: Shut up, I'm ranting.

[Doodled]

@aC: Eh, hehehehe. Nice.

@Graven_Image: Wow...

DAT CROSSOVER

I can't take its beauty!

[Rebbe]

Hehe, I must say that I am enjoying all of this GLaDOS stuff. Verrry nicely done (:

[Unordinary Man]

Okay. Here's my first attempt at a HS fanfic of any type.

It's a semi-Pesterlog (think more of a conversation in an Alterniabound Flash) regarding the most recent updates.

Hopefully, my first attempt will not be too bad, even though I kinda rushed it at the end.

Untitled Terezi/Gamzee Convo

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hide spoiler

GC: G4MZ33!
GC: TH4NK GOG SH3 D1DNT R3DUC3 YOU TO GRUBS4UC3
TC: It’lL TaKe mOrE ThAn a tOn oF WiStFuL ScRaTcHeS To wAsTe tHiS MoThErFuCkIn mIrAcLe wOrKeR, i tElL YoU ThAt!
TC: honk! >:O)
GC: DONT G3T TOO 3X1T3D JUST Y3T GR4P3 J3LLY 3XPLOS1ON
GC: 1TS 4BSOLUT3LY 1MP3R4T1V3 TH4T YOU T3LL M3 3V3RYTH1NG YOU KNOW 4BOUT WH4T 4 C3RT41N M1SS BLU3B3RRY BL4ST W4S UP TO WH3N YOU S4W H3R L4ST
GC: 1T COULD H3LP US F1ND TH4T P3RP3TR4TOR SO TH4T SH3 M4Y B3 BROUGHT TO JUST1C3!
TC: I ShAlL Do, As aNy gOoD NaTuReD MiRaClE WoRkEr mUsT!
TC: I WaS WaLkIn dOwN ThEsE PaRtS, hOnKiN SoMe sHiT AnD PoPiN SoMe oF ThAt mAgIc eLiXiR, wHeN I SaW ThE BiTcH LaYiN WaStE To eQuIuS, tHe pOoR FuCkEr.
GC: WH4T!?
TC: ShE’D CrAcKeD HiS NeCk oPeN WoRsE ThAn aNy bOtTlE Of fAyGo oUt tHeRe!
GC: TH4T F13ND! >:[
TC: I TrIeD GeT SoMe pAyBaCk fOr wHaT ShE DiD To mY MoThErFuCkIn fRiEnD, aNd i nEaRlY DiD!
TC: BuT ThEn sHe wEnT AnD KiCkEd mE In tHe bOnE BuLgE So hArD ShE SeNt mE FlYiN AnD HoNkIn aWaY! :’o(
GC: >:O
GC: TH4TS 1T
GC: SH3 M4Y H4V3 K1LL3D 4ND MURD3R3D M4NY T1M3S 4LR3ADY
GC: BUT H3R 4GGR4V4T3D 4SS4ULT ON TROLL G3N1T4LS 1S TH3 F1N4L STR4W!
GC: L3TS PR3P4R3 TH3 M4SS1V3 SL1C3 OF BR34D TH4T 1S COLD H4RD JUST1C3 SO TH4T THOS3 OF US TH4T R3M41N C4N SPR34D H3R 4CROSS 1T!
GC: SO TH4T 4LL OF US C4N SL33P P34C3FULLY!
GC: >:]
TC: HONK! >:O)

[Rebbe]

@Unordinary Man -- haha, oh man, I won't lie; I am kinda expecting that that's how it will go down in canon! That wily Gamzee.

Anyway. I was holding off on sharing anything more because I needed to get a mod okay on whether some things were good to post. The first one was deemed too violent (and alas, for it is hilariously relevant to recent updates even though I wrote it nearly two months ago!) but this second one got the okay. Just to be thorough, Imma slap down a warning for ~mild sexual shenaniangs~, hurr durr. It's between two adults, though -- Redglare and Mindfang, to be precise -- so do not worry, no rules are being broken!!

Graceless

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Read it off-site!

[SkaianRedeemer]

@rebbe: Your other fic is scarily relevant but definitely wouldn't have gotten through. MayorSillyBiscuits (if I'm remembering it right) did something similar a while back and it ended up off-site too. Oh well! People can find it if they want to.

@Unordinary Man: Hah, I can see this happening too.


Project "Completely Fair Attempt To Reconcile Differences"

show spoiler

hide spoiler

OPEN PESTERLOG

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hide spoiler

S1: oh yeah
S1: sorry about those i didn't have much to work with for prototypes
MR: That's okay.
MR: You don't seem like the other Trolls!
S1: well
S1: there's a difference between hating you for leaving us doomed
S1: and hating her
S1: one's personal
MR: She's not exactly playing nice.

Viridian pressed onward from the elevator and found himself in the strangest room yet, in that it seemed it was still being assembled. Gray panels were being slammed onto the walls by a frantically working robotic hand. Still, it had finished the essentials (moving platforms, a giant tank on the opposite side of the room, and by the sound of it...). What he could make out of the room beyond the panels was solid rock and... wait. Is that...

Engraved on the wall is a superiorly designed image of a spike ogre and a dwarf generated by the game system. The dwarf is collecting grist from the ogre.

"Wait a minute, am I on the Land of--"

"You're earrly."

A panel was slammed in front of the engraving.

"Luckillly this room has alre~ady been prepared for antiGRAvity testing. With an added incentive. I want to know if you'll perform with more speed with an added particiiipant."

The sound of a hatch, and Vitellary dropped into the nearby tank. He saw Vermillion and called out, but the tank muffled all sound. In short order, two spouts at the top of the tank began to pump sickly green water into the tank. And then the lights went out and with a mechanical whirr, a number of panels opened up below.

"Hissssssssssssssss..."

"Begin te~sting."

Viridian hit the ceiling as the Creeper Imps swarmed below.


OPEN PESTERLOG

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hide spoiler

devilsFood began pestering newGuy:

DF: This next test
DF: is immpossible.
DF: I made sure of it this time.
DF: I've been running robots through here all day.[/color]
NG: yeah i can see the arms from here
NG: is that a crusher trap
DF: Uh... No.
DF: I'll let you in on a SEcret:
DF: I've disguised all the traps as common, harmless sections of tesTING chamberr.
DF: Just when you think you're safe you'llll find the floor is actually quicksand, or worse.
DF: that's why this room is impossible.
NG: lady
NG: do you have any idea who youre talking to

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Do we actually know what CM prototyped? I am running on pseudocanon here. There was originally a joke here where Benli's land was the Land of Masterworks and Elephants but I decided not to go with that. I think Indystuck needs a wiki. I've grown too reliant.

[Doodled]

Okay. Here's my first attempt at a HS fanfic of any type.

It's a semi-Pesterlog (think more of a conversation in an Alterniabound Flash) regarding the most recent updates.

Hopefully, my first attempt will not be too bad, even though I kinda rushed it at the end.

Untitled Terezi/Gamzee Convo

show spoiler

hide spoiler

GC: G4MZ33!
GC: TH4NK GOG SH3 D1DNT R3DUC3 YOU TO GRUBS4UC3
TC: It’lL TaKe mOrE ThAn a tOn oF WiStFuL ScRaTcHeS To wAsTe tHiS MoThErFuCkIn mIrAcLe wOrKeR, i tElL YoU ThAt!
TC: honk! >:O)
GC: DONT G3T TOO 3X1T3D JUST Y3T GR4P3 J3LLY 3XPLOS1ON
GC: 1TS 4BSOLUT3LY 1MP3R4T1V3 TH4T YOU T3LL M3 3V3RYTH1NG YOU KNOW 4BOUT WH4T 4 C3RT41N M1SS BLU3B3RRY BL4ST W4S UP TO WH3N YOU S4W H3R L4ST
GC: 1T COULD H3LP US F1ND TH4T P3RP3TR4TOR SO TH4T SH3 M4Y B3 BROUGHT TO JUST1C3!
TC: I ShAlL Do, As aNy gOoD NaTuReD MiRaClE WoRkEr mUsT!
TC: I WaS WaLkIn dOwN ThEsE PaRtS, hOnKiN SoMe sHiT AnD PoPiN SoMe oF ThAt mAgIc eLiXiR, wHeN I SaW ThE BiTcH LaYiN WaStE To eQuIuS, tHe pOoR FuCkEr.
GC: WH4T!?
TC: ShE’D CrAcKeD HiS NeCk oPeN WoRsE ThAn aNy bOtTlE Of fAyGo oUt tHeRe!
GC: TH4T F13ND! >:[
TC: I TrIeD GeT SoMe pAyBaCk fOr wHaT ShE DiD To mY MoThErFuCkIn fRiEnD, aNd i nEaRlY DiD!
TC: BuT ThEn sHe wEnT AnD KiCkEd mE In tHe bOnE BuLgE So hArD ShE SeNt mE FlYiN AnD HoNkIn aWaY! :’o(
GC: >:O
GC: TH4TS 1T
GC: SH3 M4Y H4V3 K1LL3D 4ND MURD3R3D M4NY T1M3S 4LR3ADY
GC: BUT H3R 4GGR4V4T3D 4SS4ULT ON TROLL G3N1T4LS 1S TH3 F1N4L STR4W!
GC: L3TS PR3P4R3 TH3 M4SS1V3 SL1C3 OF BR34D TH4T 1S COLD H4RD JUST1C3 SO TH4T THOS3 OF US TH4T R3M41N C4N SPR34D H3R 4CROSS 1T!
GC: SO TH4T 4LL OF US C4N SL33P P34C3FULLY!
GC: >:]
TC: HONK! >:O)

Oh gog...

Gamzee, you bastard.

@Unordinary Man -- haha, oh man, I won't lie; I am kinda expecting that that's how it will go down in canon! That wily Gamzee.

Anyway. I was holding off on sharing anything more because I needed to get a mod okay on whether some things were good to post. The first one was deemed too violent (and alas, for it is hilariously relevant to recent updates even though I wrote it nearly two months ago!) but this second one got the okay. Just to be thorough, Imma slap down a warning for ~mild sexual shenaniangs~, hurr durr. It's between two adults, though -- Redglare and Mindfang, to be precise -- so do not worry, no rules are being broken!!

Graceless

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Read it off-site!

@rebbe: Your other fic is scarily relevant but definitely wouldn't have gotten through. MayorSillyBiscuits (if I'm remembering it right) did something similar a while back and it ended up off-site too. Oh well! People can find it if they want to.

@Unordinary Man: Hah, I can see this happening too.


Project "Completely Fair Attempt To Reconcile Differences"

show spoiler

hide spoiler

OPEN PESTERLOG

show spoiler

hide spoiler

S1: oh yeah
S1: sorry about those i didn't have much to work with for prototypes
MR: That's okay.
MR: You don't seem like the other Trolls!
S1: well
S1: there's a difference between hating you for leaving us doomed
S1: and hating her
S1: one's personal
MR: She's not exactly playing nice.

Viridian pressed onward from the elevator and found himself in the strangest room yet, in that it seemed it was still being assembled. Gray panels were being slammed onto the walls by a frantically working robotic hand. Still, it had finished the essentials (moving platforms, a giant tank on the opposite side of the room, and by the sound of it...). What he could make out of the room beyond the panels was solid rock and... wait. Is that...

Engraved on the wall is a superiorly designed image of a spike ogre and a dwarf generated by the game system. The dwarf is collecting grist from the ogre.

"Wait a minute, am I on the Land of--"

"You're earrly."

A panel was slammed in front of the engraving.

"Luckillly this room has alre~ady been prepared for antiGRAvity testing. With an added incentive. I want to know if you'll perform with more speed with an added particiiipant."

The sound of a hatch, and Vitellary dropped into the nearby tank. He saw Vermillion and called out, but the tank muffled all sound. In short order, two spouts at the top of the tank began to pump sickly green water into the tank. And then the lights went out and with a mechanical whirr, a number of panels opened up below.

"Hissssssssssssssss..."

"Begin te~sting."

Viridian hit the ceiling as the Creeper Imps swarmed below.


OPEN PESTERLOG

show spoiler

hide spoiler

devilsFood began pestering newGuy:

DF: This next test
DF: is immpossible.
DF: I made sure of it this time.
DF: I've been running robots through here all day.[/color]
NG: yeah i can see the arms from here
NG: is that a crusher trap
DF: Uh... No.
DF: I'll let you in on a SEcret:
DF: I've disguised all the traps as common, harmless sections of tesTING chamberr.
DF: Just when you think you're safe you'llll find the floor is actually quicksand, or worse.
DF: that's why this room is impossible.
NG: lady
NG: do you have any idea who youre talking to

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Do we actually know what CM prototyped? I am running on pseudocanon here. There was originally a joke here where Benli's land was the Land of Masterworks and Elephants but I decided not to go with that. I think Indystuck needs a wiki. I've grown too reliant.

Wait, wha-... how-... who-...

I'm confused.

[Rebbe]

@rebbe: Your other fic is scarily relevant but definitely wouldn't have gotten through. MayorSillyBiscuits (if I'm remembering it right) did something similar a while back and it ended up off-site too. Oh well! People can find it if they want to.

@Unordinary Man: Hah, I can see this happening too.


Project "Completely Fair Attempt To Reconcile Differences"

show spoiler

hide spoiler

OPEN PESTERLOG

show spoiler

hide spoiler

S1: oh yeah
S1: sorry about those i didn't have much to work with for prototypes
MR: That's okay.
MR: You don't seem like the other Trolls!
S1: well
S1: there's a difference between hating you for leaving us doomed
S1: and hating her
S1: one's personal
MR: She's not exactly playing nice.

Viridian pressed onward from the elevator and found himself in the strangest room yet, in that it seemed it was still being assembled. Gray panels were being slammed onto the walls by a frantically working robotic hand. Still, it had finished the essentials (moving platforms, a giant tank on the opposite side of the room, and by the sound of it...). What he could make out of the room beyond the panels was solid rock and... wait. Is that...

Engraved on the wall is a superiorly designed image of a spike ogre and a dwarf generated by the game system. The dwarf is collecting grist from the ogre.

"Wait a minute, am I on the Land of--"

"You're earrly."

A panel was slammed in front of the engraving.

"Luckillly this room has alre~ady been prepared for antiGRAvity testing. With an added incentive. I want to know if you'll perform with more speed with an added particiiipant."

The sound of a hatch, and Vitellary dropped into the nearby tank. He saw Vermillion and called out, but the tank muffled all sound. In short order, two spouts at the top of the tank began to pump sickly green water into the tank. And then the lights went out and with a mechanical whirr, a number of panels opened up below.

"Hissssssssssssssss..."

"Begin te~sting."

Viridian hit the ceiling as the Creeper Imps swarmed below.


OPEN PESTERLOG

show spoiler

hide spoiler

devilsFood began pestering newGuy:

DF: This next test
DF: is immpossible.
DF: I made sure of it this time.
DF: I've been running robots through here all day.[/color]
NG: yeah i can see the arms from here
NG: is that a crusher trap
DF: Uh... No.
DF: I'll let you in on a SEcret:
DF: I've disguised all the traps as common, harmless sections of tesTING chamberr.
DF: Just when you think you're safe you'llll find the floor is actually quicksand, or worse.
DF: that's why this room is impossible.
NG: lady
NG: do you have any idea who youre talking to

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Do we actually know what CM prototyped? I am running on pseudocanon here. There was originally a joke here where Benli's land was the Land of Masterworks and Elephants but I decided not to go with that. I think Indystuck needs a wiki. I've grown too reliant.

Haha, and I hope they do! I was quite pleased with that one and would love for more people to read it o:

And AAAAAAAAAA I love. this crossover. so muuuuch. nglskdjf GLaDOS is just perfect in it!!

[draconicAlgorithm]

I started writing this earlier this morning, before I checked for updates. So it is not relevant to most recent updates at all. I tried to rewrite it following the updates, but it just wasn't turning out as good. Maybe I'll try again later, but here's this, anyway.

The Lawyer and the Goddess

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The darkness of the lab seemed to swallow light, spreading an inky layer of shadow over everything. Vriska felt particularly conspicuous, sitting crosslegged on the ground with her glowing husktop in front of her. She stared at the screen, waiting for a response. John would say something soon. He had to.

She didn’t bother glancing around her. She knew where she was—in one of the broken down labs, one of the smaller ones that didn’t have quite as much debris in it. There weren’t even any of the tubes of monsters in here, just a huge computer that sat useless in a corner. Also, there were no lights. That was why Vriska sat in the darkness with only the illumination of her computer.

She heard the troll approaching long before she saw her. The sound of footsteps was accompanied by the steady tap tap tapping of a cane to the hard concrete floor. Terezi had finally found her.

Vriska had been simultaneously anticipating and dreading this moment. She knew what Terezi intended to do, but she was tired of the guilt. Tired of the constant reminder of what she’d done. It made her sick, the fact that she felt this way about killing Tavros, but it seemed her emotions did not want to do what her mind told them they were supposed to do. Even so, as that tapping approached, a feeling of apprehension grew inside her. What if they fought? What if she killed Terezi too? She didn’t want to die, but she was tired of killing, too. Was there a way out of this without doing either?

“Hello, Serket.” Terezi’s voice echoed in the room, silky smooth and pleasant, but with a hint of warning to it. However, she was still standing several feet away. “I’ve been looking for you.”

“I know,” Vriska said, climbing to her feet.

“And I know what you’ve done.” Vriska turned around. Terezi wore a smile, but it was thin and pained. It made Vriska wonder what else had been going on in the lab, but then was not the time to ask. There was only one thing they were talking about here.

“I figured,” Vriska replied. A long silence stretched between them, as if Terezi was waiting for her to make excuses, to plead for her life, anything. But Vriska wasn’t going to do that. Not this time. Terezi’s smile grew tighter and tighter, until the edges finally curled down.

“Why did you do it?” The feigned overbearing attitude was gone. This was raw emotion—pain, loss, all of it mixed together and smashed into those five little words. They cut through Vriska like a knife. Why did she do it? How many times had she asked herself that? Sure, there were the reasons she’d come up with after the fact. He was trying to kill her, it was her right as a blue blood, etc. But when she thought about it, when she was really honest with herself, there was one real reason.

“Because he was too late.” That, apparently, was not the answer Terezi was looking for. Her mouth twisted into a snarl of hate and derision. She swept up her cane and swung its tip until it was an inch from Vriska’s nose, and that was after Vriska had taken another step backwards.

“Well, that explains Tavros, I suppose,” Terezi sneered, her voice mocking and spiteful. “But what about Feferi? Nepeta? Were they too late too? Or was his blood just not enough to sate the great goddess?” Vriska stared at her down the length of the cane, mouth agape.

“They’re dead? Feferi and Nepeta… are dead?” Of course, as soon as Vriska had gotten the chance to think about it, it made sense. The paint—no, blood—on Gamzee’s juggling pin, Eridan’s serious but almost pained expression… It all added up now. Oh, god. Things were much worse than she thought.

“Don’t play dumb with me,” Terezi growled. “I know you did it. Who else would go on such a murderous rampage around the meteor? And I found your things littered around Nepeta’s body. There’s no denying it, Vriska. The evidence has been collected, and the jury has found you guilty on all counts.”

“Terez—“ Vriska began, but she was too slow. Terezi’s cane twisted upward and smacked her in the cheek, hard. Hard enough to make Vriska wheel backwards from the blow. She bent over, clutching the injury, and Terezi walked forward.

“I thought you’d put up more of a fight than this.” From where she was bent over, Vriska could just barely see something through Terezi’s legs. Was someone else approaching?

“But if you don’t want to fight, so be it. My mission is clear, and I will go through with it.” Yes, there was definitely someone there. Bare feet approached from behind, moving quickly but silently. She knew who it was.

“The judge will accept any last words the defendant has to offer before her culling.”

“TEREZI, MOVE!” Vriska surged upward, grabbing Terezi around the waist. She heard the other troll girl sputter and rage, but she ignored it. There wasn’t time. She flipped Terezi over her back and onto the floor behind her, out of harm’s way.

Gamzee loomed over her, juggling pin in hand, his mouth split into a crazy, feral grin. He looked exactly as he had the last time Vriska had seen him, minus the hat and sunglasses. He wasn’t perturbed by her intervention. It seemed like he was happy to kill whichever one of them happened to be closest.

The juggling pin hit her face with full force. She felt skin tear, felt her neck crack. For a moment, she also felt a shot of intense pain, but then black swallowed her. She was dead by the time she hit the floor.

Terezi climbed to her feet as she heard something hit the floor with a soft whump. She turned, breathing in deeply the scents of the lab, and was shocked by what she found. Vriska lay in a crumpled heap on the ground, cerulean blood oozing from a wound on her face. Gamzee stood over her, blue blood on his juggling pin as well. And then she realized that there was something wrong with him. His expression was… not normal. That grin was terrifying. His face paint was smeared, and three long indigo scratches traced their way across his face. Scratches that looked like they could have come from Nepeta’s claws.

“Gamzee? What’s going on?” She asked, her voice shaky, but she was beginning to grasp the situation with growing horror.

“Just doing what I should have done a long time ago, motherfucker.” She almost missed his reply, it was so low, but the next sentence was booming. “KILL ALL YOU LOWBLOOD MOTHERFUCKERS.” Without further preamble, he lunged at her, pin swinging. She brought up her cane just in time. She grabbed an end in each hand and took the impact. It sent vibrations up her arms and into her shoulders, making her cringe. How strong had Gamzee gotten?

Gamzee lashed out with the pin in his other hand, this time at her head. She pulled away, barely missing having her head smashed like Vriska.

It was obvious that something had happened to Gamzee, something to make him like this. As much as she hated the idea, she had no choice but to fight him. It was that or die. She twisted the cane in her hands, and it fell apart, the various pieces still connected by rope. Slowly, she swung one end in a broad circle, building momentum.

“I don’t want to fight you, Gamzee. We were friends, remember? You were my server. You saved my life, and I still owe you a lot.” It was one last ditch attempt to reason with him.

“Then repay me, motherfucker.” He hissed through his teeth. “MOTHERFUCKING STAND STILL WHILE I KILL YOU.” He leaped at her, lashing out with a pin again, but Terezi was ready for it. She backed out of the blow and spun a section of the cane at his legs. It wrapped around one, and she yanked on the rope, hard enough to unbalance his footing. He fell to one knee. She smirked to herself, getting ready to smash him over the head with another piece, when he looked up. She froze in horror when she smelled his face.

The smile was gone. In its place was a gnashing snarl of teeth. His eyes had turned… were they really red?

“Oh hell no, motherfucker,” he whispered under his breath. He grabbed the piece of her cane that was wrapped around his leg in both hands and pulled. The string snapped and fell away, leaving him free. Terezi took several steps backwards, her breath coming in ragged gasps. How could Gamzee be so utterly terrifying? He stood and followed her slowly.

“NO ONE MOTHERFUCKING MAKES ME KNEEL,” he roared, closing in on her.

“What about laying down?” Both trolls turned their heads sharply, and unfortunately for Gamzee, this meant turning directly into an elbow to the face. Vriska knocked him to the ground, but fluttered upwards with her wings and landed beside him. Terezi could smell the blood pouring from the wound on her face, but she seemed entirely unperturbed by this. Gamzee, on the other hand, simply lay where he fell. Blood leaked from his nose where Vriska had smashed it with her blow. He was out cold. Once Vriska was sure of this, she sighed with relief. When she glanced up, though, Vriska realized that Terezi was staring at her (or, at least, had her head pointed in her general direction) with her mouth agape.

“You… he killed you!” She said, alarmed. Vriska shrugged.

“Guess not. Must be something to do with God Tier. And anyway…” Vriska bent down and picked up one of Gamzee’s juggling pins. It was the one he had used on Vriska, and her blood was still wet on it. Before it had hit her face, she had seen that something else was on it. With a thumb, Vriska wiped away her own blood to reveal more dried blood underneath. This blood, however, was green. Vriska lifted the pin and showed it to Terezi.

“Like I said,” she began, “I didn’t kill Nepeta. Apparently, Gamzee did.” Terezi took the pin from her hand and sniffed it deeply. She frowned, but it was obvious that she couldn’t deny the evidence.

“Apparently,” Terezi echoed. “But I get the feeling that I have been missing a lot of evidence. What has been going on?”

“A lot of shit,” Vriska replied with a sigh.

And so, while the clown slept, the lawyer and the goddess swapped stories. Perhaps not like friends, but not quite like enemies, either.

show spoiler

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Oh, you saw this?

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Yeah, it's an alternate ending.

show spoiler

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It's sad.

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Don't say I didn't warn you.

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“NO ONE MOTHERFUCKING MAKES ME KNEEL,” he roared, closing in on her. Terezi felt her back hit the wall. There was no where else to run. She held her breath, not wanting to smell any more.

She felt pain, excruciating pain, and then, nothing.

---

The door opens and two forms sneak inside. It closes once more on silent hinges, and goes dark.

“I think we’ll be okay in here for a while.”

“Whatever you say KK. Smells kinda funny though.”

“… Yeah, I guess it does. But that’s this whole fucking meteor for you, isn’t it? … Fuck, why is it so dark? Where’s the fucking light?”

“Looks fine to me.”

“Shut the hell up, fuckass.” After more cursing and fumbling, a switch is finally found, and some old flickering florescent lights illuminate the space.

When Karkat turns around, he sees something he never wanted to see.

To one side is Vriska, her face smashed and bleeding and her head bent at an odd angle. Propped up against the far wall is Terezi, but she’s much more of a mess. Her blood is everywhere.

And drawn on the wall, in teal and cerulean, is, “ARE YOU NEXT? :o)”

Karkat falls to his knees, red tears streaming down his face. He makes a strangled sob, and nothing more.

“KK? KK, what’s wrong? What happened?” He feels Sollux’s hands press searchingly to his shoulders, but he can’t speak. Loss and sadness seize up his throat. All he can do is cry.

In the distance, he hears a faint honk.

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Yeah, I suck at titles.

But I was thinking that the death could have gone either way (heroic because she died saving Terezi, but also not heroic because she died without getting Terezi completely out of harm's way), so I did an alternate ending with some sad Karkat in there too. Poor Karkles. :(

[wilySubversionist]

@aC: Your overharsh notes on this chapter lead me to believe you need some talking up. I am doing that: there was nothing wrong with this chapter! It was not unasskicking at all, the military maneuvers were believable if not perfectly-real-world-accurate (which, do they need to be? I vote no.) The talking was not boring and was entirely necessary to establish both Karkinos' character as a squad leader and his position in the overall hierarchy; there's absolutely no shame in setting a scene for awesome to come. So stop being down on yourself! Totally not called for! (TL;DR: I'm really liking this!)

The Lawyer and the Goddess

You warned me, but I didn't listen. So sad.

[OPtimus]

This is a fan journal of my Headcanon of Karkat's ancestor.

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Rosebud’s Journal Entry I:
So far you do not know me or who I am. My name is Rosebud. I am a revolutionary to many, madman to more. If you are not aware I come from a time where blood is everything. If you are bellow one, there is no choice in the matter. I have sat here long enough and watched the Subjuggulator push us low-bloods around for far too long now. This journal is for you to read Karkat, and only you. I want the truth to be told to no one but you. This is our story to behold, only ours. This is the story behind our lineage, and why our blood is so rare.

I am a threshecutioner for The Subjuggulator, I am his personal assassin. He keeps me hidden to his subordinates, because they might revolt knowing their ‘great and mighty King’ has to use a piece of low-blood trash to do his work. I am fine with secrecy, in fact I prefer it. The shadows are what I call home, and they are the only friend I need. I am sure you are the same way. Lonesome only out of sheer will, although you have some that would guard you, you shun then in fear of getting a dagger in your back. I assure you that you have made no grander of a decision.
I will tell you I despise this god forsaken social system, I cannot stand it. The most noble and beautiful of trolls brought to their knees because of the hue in their veins. Its imbecilic, and vile. Greedy pigs and hoarding whores become things like Knights, and warriors just because they have a shade of teal or greater. Who decided this?
Why does one color get to rule over another?
Why am I forced to eat dirt when the others get to feed off my back, like I’m some sort of table. That’s what we are now Karkat. Tools, objects, slaves what ever you wish to call it, but you can only kick a dog so much until it bites. We are that dog, and we will bite back. When we do we will bleed the entire hemospectrum. We will come at them with a wrath like that no pair of eyes have never seen. Justice has never been this sweet. I can taste it on the tip of my tounge. If we do not bring it down, we will leave a scar that will never be forgotten.
The hemospectrum will end.







Rosebuds Journal Entry II:
This may one day lead to war. In that war innocent trolls will die, both high and low blood trolls. It pains me that there must be collateral damage at all but…
I guess it’s a must. It’s a necessity of change. Things need to change and for that I’m willing to slit throats. If there is a war I will not be on the front lines nor will I be in a tent strategizing the next move. I will still be held by the shadows. I will strike at their heart.
I will strike at the Subjuggulator himself.
This will take sufficient planning and study. I know he is far more powerful and skilled in combat than I. I will not lie and say I am not fearful of the outcome of the battle. I will have to keep this treachery hidden until it is time. If he finds out then…
I am glad that he is not the brightest. He tends to let his mind wander, leaving him often with a blank stare. I have seen The Subjuggulator stare at a wall for a day straight. I am not sure if it is insanity or some sort of sick twisted discipline. Sometimes I wonder if he is a genius under that husk of madness. I have pondered many nights how he became like he is now, my theory is that it’s his blood. With the highest color of blood on land he has all the power in the wowrld. Any troll can handle adversity, to truly test a trolls strength give him power.

[Doodled]

I started writing this earlier this morning, before I checked for updates. So it is not relevant to most recent updates at all. I tried to rewrite it following the updates, but it just wasn't turning out as good. Maybe I'll try again later, but here's this, anyway.

The Lawyer and the Goddess

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The darkness of the lab seemed to swallow light, spreading an inky layer of shadow over everything. Vriska felt particularly conspicuous, sitting crosslegged on the ground with her glowing husktop in front of her. She stared at the screen, waiting for a response. John would say something soon. He had to.

She didn’t bother glancing around her. She knew where she was—in one of the broken down labs, one of the smaller ones that didn’t have quite as much debris in it. There weren’t even any of the tubes of monsters in here, just a huge computer that sat useless in a corner. Also, there were no lights. That was why Vriska sat in the darkness with only the illumination of her computer.

She heard the troll approaching long before she saw her. The sound of footsteps was accompanied by the steady tap tap tapping of a cane to the hard concrete floor. Terezi had finally found her.

Vriska had been simultaneously anticipating and dreading this moment. She knew what Terezi intended to do, but she was tired of the guilt. Tired of the constant reminder of what she’d done. It made her sick, the fact that she felt this way about killing Tavros, but it seemed her emotions did not want to do what her mind told them they were supposed to do. Even so, as that tapping approached, a feeling of apprehension grew inside her. What if they fought? What if she killed Terezi too? She didn’t want to die, but she was tired of killing, too. Was there a way out of this without doing either?

“Hello, Serket.” Terezi’s voice echoed in the room, silky smooth and pleasant, but with a hint of warning to it. However, she was still standing several feet away. “I’ve been looking for you.”

“I know,” Vriska said, climbing to her feet.

“And I know what you’ve done.” Vriska turned around. Terezi wore a smile, but it was thin and pained. It made Vriska wonder what else had been going on in the lab, but then was not the time to ask. There was only one thing they were talking about here.

“I figured,” Vriska replied. A long silence stretched between them, as if Terezi was waiting for her to make excuses, to plead for her life, anything. But Vriska wasn’t going to do that. Not this time. Terezi’s smile grew tighter and tighter, until the edges finally curled down.

“Why did you do it?” The feigned overbearing attitude was gone. This was raw emotion—pain, loss, all of it mixed together and smashed into those five little words. They cut through Vriska like a knife. Why did she do it? How many times had she asked herself that? Sure, there were the reasons she’d come up with after the fact. He was trying to kill her, it was her right as a blue blood, etc. But when she thought about it, when she was really honest with herself, there was one real reason.

“Because he was too late.” That, apparently, was not the answer Terezi was looking for. Her mouth twisted into a snarl of hate and derision. She swept up her cane and swung its tip until it was an inch from Vriska’s nose, and that was after Vriska had taken another step backwards.

“Well, that explains Tavros, I suppose,” Terezi sneered, her voice mocking and spiteful. “But what about Feferi? Nepeta? Were they too late too? Or was his blood just not enough to sate the great goddess?” Vriska stared at her down the length of the cane, mouth agape.

“They’re dead? Feferi and Nepeta… are dead?” Of course, as soon as Vriska had gotten the chance to think about it, it made sense. The paint—no, blood—on Gamzee’s juggling pin, Eridan’s serious but almost pained expression… It all added up now. Oh, god. Things were much worse than she thought.

“Don’t play dumb with me,” Terezi growled. “I know you did it. Who else would go on such a murderous rampage around the meteor? And I found your things littered around Nepeta’s body. There’s no denying it, Vriska. The evidence has been collected, and the jury has found you guilty on all counts.”

“Terez—“ Vriska began, but she was too slow. Terezi’s cane twisted upward and smacked her in the cheek, hard. Hard enough to make Vriska wheel backwards from the blow. She bent over, clutching the injury, and Terezi walked forward.

“I thought you’d put up more of a fight than this.” From where she was bent over, Vriska could just barely see something through Terezi’s legs. Was someone else approaching?

“But if you don’t want to fight, so be it. My mission is clear, and I will go through with it.” Yes, there was definitely someone there. Bare feet approached from behind, moving quickly but silently. She knew who it was.

“The judge will accept any last words the defendant has to offer before her culling.”

“TEREZI, MOVE!” Vriska surged upward, grabbing Terezi around the waist. She heard the other troll girl sputter and rage, but she ignored it. There wasn’t time. She flipped Terezi over her back and onto the floor behind her, out of harm’s way.

Gamzee loomed over her, juggling pin in hand, his mouth split into a crazy, feral grin. He looked exactly as he had the last time Vriska had seen him, minus the hat and sunglasses. He wasn’t perturbed by her intervention. It seemed like he was happy to kill whichever one of them happened to be closest.

The juggling pin hit her face with full force. She felt skin tear, felt her neck crack. For a moment, she also felt a shot of intense pain, but then black swallowed her. She was dead by the time she hit the floor.

Terezi climbed to her feet as she heard something hit the floor with a soft whump. She turned, breathing in deeply the scents of the lab, and was shocked by what she found. Vriska lay in a crumpled heap on the ground, cerulean blood oozing from a wound on her face. Gamzee stood over her, blue blood on his juggling pin as well. And then she realized that there was something wrong with him. His expression was… not normal. That grin was terrifying. His face paint was smeared, and three long indigo scratches traced their way across his face. Scratches that looked like they could have come from Nepeta’s claws.

“Gamzee? What’s going on?” She asked, her voice shaky, but she was beginning to grasp the situation with growing horror.

“Just doing what I should have done a long time ago, motherfucker.” She almost missed his reply, it was so low, but the next sentence was booming. “KILL ALL YOU LOWBLOOD MOTHERFUCKERS.” Without further preamble, he lunged at her, pin swinging. She brought up her cane just in time. She grabbed an end in each hand and took the impact. It sent vibrations up her arms and into her shoulders, making her cringe. How strong had Gamzee gotten?

Gamzee lashed out with the pin in his other hand, this time at her head. She pulled away, barely missing having her head smashed like Vriska.

It was obvious that something had happened to Gamzee, something to make him like this. As much as she hated the idea, she had no choice but to fight him. It was that or die. She twisted the cane in her hands, and it fell apart, the various pieces still connected by rope. Slowly, she swung one end in a broad circle, building momentum.

“I don’t want to fight you, Gamzee. We were friends, remember? You were my server. You saved my life, and I still owe you a lot.” It was one last ditch attempt to reason with him.

“Then repay me, motherfucker.” He hissed through his teeth. “MOTHERFUCKING STAND STILL WHILE I KILL YOU.” He leaped at her, lashing out with a pin again, but Terezi was ready for it. She backed out of the blow and spun a section of the cane at his legs. It wrapped around one, and she yanked on the rope, hard enough to unbalance his footing. He fell to one knee. She smirked to herself, getting ready to smash him over the head with another piece, when he looked up. She froze in horror when she smelled his face.

The smile was gone. In its place was a gnashing snarl of teeth. His eyes had turned… were they really red?

“Oh hell no, motherfucker,” he whispered under his breath. He grabbed the piece of her cane that was wrapped around his leg in both hands and pulled. The string snapped and fell away, leaving him free. Terezi took several steps backwards, her breath coming in ragged gasps. How could Gamzee be so utterly terrifying? He stood and followed her slowly.

“NO ONE MOTHERFUCKING MAKES ME KNEEL,” he roared, closing in on her.

“What about laying down?” Both trolls turned their heads sharply, and unfortunately for Gamzee, this meant turning directly into an elbow to the face. Vriska knocked him to the ground, but fluttered upwards with her wings and landed beside him. Terezi could smell the blood pouring from the wound on her face, but she seemed entirely unperturbed by this. Gamzee, on the other hand, simply lay where he fell. Blood leaked from his nose where Vriska had smashed it with her blow. He was out cold. Once Vriska was sure of this, she sighed with relief. When she glanced up, though, Vriska realized that Terezi was staring at her (or, at least, had her head pointed in her general direction) with her mouth agape.

“You… he killed you!” She said, alarmed. Vriska shrugged.

“Guess not. Must be something to do with God Tier. And anyway…” Vriska bent down and picked up one of Gamzee’s juggling pins. It was the one he had used on Vriska, and her blood was still wet on it. Before it had hit her face, she had seen that something else was on it. With a thumb, Vriska wiped away her own blood to reveal more dried blood underneath. This blood, however, was green. Vriska lifted the pin and showed it to Terezi.

“Like I said,” she began, “I didn’t kill Nepeta. Apparently, Gamzee did.” Terezi took the pin from her hand and sniffed it deeply. She frowned, but it was obvious that she couldn’t deny the evidence.

“Apparently,” Terezi echoed. “But I get the feeling that I have been missing a lot of evidence. What has been going on?”

“A lot of shit,” Vriska replied with a sigh.

And so, while the clown slept, the lawyer and the goddess swapped stories. Perhaps not like friends, but not quite like enemies, either.

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Oh, you saw this?

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Yeah, it's an alternate ending.

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It's sad.

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Don't say I didn't warn you.

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“NO ONE MOTHERFUCKING MAKES ME KNEEL,” he roared, closing in on her. Terezi felt her back hit the wall. There was no where else to run. She held her breath, not wanting to smell any more.

She felt pain, excruciating pain, and then, nothing.

---

The door opens and two forms sneak inside. It closes once more on silent hinges, and goes dark.

“I think we’ll be okay in here for a while.”

“Whatever you say KK. Smells kinda funny though.”

“… Yeah, I guess it does. But that’s this whole fucking meteor for you, isn’t it? … Fuck, why is it so dark? Where’s the fucking light?”

“Looks fine to me.”

“Shut the hell up, fuckass.” After more cursing and fumbling, a switch is finally found, and some old flickering florescent lights illuminate the space.

When Karkat turns around, he sees something he never wanted to see.

To one side is Vriska, her face smashed and bleeding and her head bent at an odd angle. Propped up against the far wall is Terezi, but she’s much more of a mess. Her blood is everywhere.

And drawn on the wall, in teal and cerulean, is, “ARE YOU NEXT? )”

Karkat falls to his knees, red tears streaming down his face. He makes a strangled sob, and nothing more.

“KK? KK, what’s wrong? What happened?” He feels Sollux’s hands press searchingly to his shoulders, but he can’t speak. Loss and sadness seize up his throat. All he can do is cry.

In the distance, he hears a faint honk.

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Yeah, I suck at titles.

But I was thinking that the death could have gone either way (heroic because she died saving Terezi, but also not heroic because she died without getting Terezi completely out of harm's way), so I did an alternate ending with some sad Karkat in there too. Poor Karkles.

*wild applause*

Bravo! Bravo!

*reads alternate ending*



@OPtimus: That sounds like leader!Karkat alright...

But...

How does he know Karkat's name?!

[newbonomicon]

Why does he know Karkat's name?

Edit: NINJA!

[Rebbe]

I started writing this earlier this morning, before I checked for updates. So it is not relevant to most recent updates at all. I tried to rewrite it following the updates, but it just wasn't turning out as good. Maybe I'll try again later, but here's this, anyway.

The Lawyer and the Goddess

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The darkness of the lab seemed to swallow light, spreading an inky layer of shadow over everything. Vriska felt particularly conspicuous, sitting crosslegged on the ground with her glowing husktop in front of her. She stared at the screen, waiting for a response. John would say something soon. He had to.

She didn’t bother glancing around her. She knew where she was—in one of the broken down labs, one of the smaller ones that didn’t have quite as much debris in it. There weren’t even any of the tubes of monsters in here, just a huge computer that sat useless in a corner. Also, there were no lights. That was why Vriska sat in the darkness with only the illumination of her computer.

She heard the troll approaching long before she saw her. The sound of footsteps was accompanied by the steady tap tap tapping of a cane to the hard concrete floor. Terezi had finally found her.

Vriska had been simultaneously anticipating and dreading this moment. She knew what Terezi intended to do, but she was tired of the guilt. Tired of the constant reminder of what she’d done. It made her sick, the fact that she felt this way about killing Tavros, but it seemed her emotions did not want to do what her mind told them they were supposed to do. Even so, as that tapping approached, a feeling of apprehension grew inside her. What if they fought? What if she killed Terezi too? She didn’t want to die, but she was tired of killing, too. Was there a way out of this without doing either?

“Hello, Serket.” Terezi’s voice echoed in the room, silky smooth and pleasant, but with a hint of warning to it. However, she was still standing several feet away. “I’ve been looking for you.”

“I know,” Vriska said, climbing to her feet.

“And I know what you’ve done.” Vriska turned around. Terezi wore a smile, but it was thin and pained. It made Vriska wonder what else had been going on in the lab, but then was not the time to ask. There was only one thing they were talking about here.

“I figured,” Vriska replied. A long silence stretched between them, as if Terezi was waiting for her to make excuses, to plead for her life, anything. But Vriska wasn’t going to do that. Not this time. Terezi’s smile grew tighter and tighter, until the edges finally curled down.

“Why did you do it?” The feigned overbearing attitude was gone. This was raw emotion—pain, loss, all of it mixed together and smashed into those five little words. They cut through Vriska like a knife. Why did she do it? How many times had she asked herself that? Sure, there were the reasons she’d come up with after the fact. He was trying to kill her, it was her right as a blue blood, etc. But when she thought about it, when she was really honest with herself, there was one real reason.

“Because he was too late.” That, apparently, was not the answer Terezi was looking for. Her mouth twisted into a snarl of hate and derision. She swept up her cane and swung its tip until it was an inch from Vriska’s nose, and that was after Vriska had taken another step backwards.

“Well, that explains Tavros, I suppose,” Terezi sneered, her voice mocking and spiteful. “But what about Feferi? Nepeta? Were they too late too? Or was his blood just not enough to sate the great goddess?” Vriska stared at her down the length of the cane, mouth agape.

“They’re dead? Feferi and Nepeta… are dead?” Of course, as soon as Vriska had gotten the chance to think about it, it made sense. The paint—no, blood—on Gamzee’s juggling pin, Eridan’s serious but almost pained expression… It all added up now. Oh, god. Things were much worse than she thought.

“Don’t play dumb with me,” Terezi growled. “I know you did it. Who else would go on such a murderous rampage around the meteor? And I found your things littered around Nepeta’s body. There’s no denying it, Vriska. The evidence has been collected, and the jury has found you guilty on all counts.”

“Terez—“ Vriska began, but she was too slow. Terezi’s cane twisted upward and smacked her in the cheek, hard. Hard enough to make Vriska wheel backwards from the blow. She bent over, clutching the injury, and Terezi walked forward.

“I thought you’d put up more of a fight than this.” From where she was bent over, Vriska could just barely see something through Terezi’s legs. Was someone else approaching?

“But if you don’t want to fight, so be it. My mission is clear, and I will go through with it.” Yes, there was definitely someone there. Bare feet approached from behind, moving quickly but silently. She knew who it was.

“The judge will accept any last words the defendant has to offer before her culling.”

“TEREZI, MOVE!” Vriska surged upward, grabbing Terezi around the waist. She heard the other troll girl sputter and rage, but she ignored it. There wasn’t time. She flipped Terezi over her back and onto the floor behind her, out of harm’s way.

Gamzee loomed over her, juggling pin in hand, his mouth split into a crazy, feral grin. He looked exactly as he had the last time Vriska had seen him, minus the hat and sunglasses. He wasn’t perturbed by her intervention. It seemed like he was happy to kill whichever one of them happened to be closest.

The juggling pin hit her face with full force. She felt skin tear, felt her neck crack. For a moment, she also felt a shot of intense pain, but then black swallowed her. She was dead by the time she hit the floor.

Terezi climbed to her feet as she heard something hit the floor with a soft whump. She turned, breathing in deeply the scents of the lab, and was shocked by what she found. Vriska lay in a crumpled heap on the ground, cerulean blood oozing from a wound on her face. Gamzee stood over her, blue blood on his juggling pin as well. And then she realized that there was something wrong with him. His expression was… not normal. That grin was terrifying. His face paint was smeared, and three long indigo scratches traced their way across his face. Scratches that looked like they could have come from Nepeta’s claws.

“Gamzee? What’s going on?” She asked, her voice shaky, but she was beginning to grasp the situation with growing horror.

“Just doing what I should have done a long time ago, motherfucker.” She almost missed his reply, it was so low, but the next sentence was booming. “KILL ALL YOU LOWBLOOD MOTHERFUCKERS.” Without further preamble, he lunged at her, pin swinging. She brought up her cane just in time. She grabbed an end in each hand and took the impact. It sent vibrations up her arms and into her shoulders, making her cringe. How strong had Gamzee gotten?

Gamzee lashed out with the pin in his other hand, this time at her head. She pulled away, barely missing having her head smashed like Vriska.

It was obvious that something had happened to Gamzee, something to make him like this. As much as she hated the idea, she had no choice but to fight him. It was that or die. She twisted the cane in her hands, and it fell apart, the various pieces still connected by rope. Slowly, she swung one end in a broad circle, building momentum.

“I don’t want to fight you, Gamzee. We were friends, remember? You were my server. You saved my life, and I still owe you a lot.” It was one last ditch attempt to reason with him.

“Then repay me, motherfucker.” He hissed through his teeth. “MOTHERFUCKING STAND STILL WHILE I KILL YOU.” He leaped at her, lashing out with a pin again, but Terezi was ready for it. She backed out of the blow and spun a section of the cane at his legs. It wrapped around one, and she yanked on the rope, hard enough to unbalance his footing. He fell to one knee. She smirked to herself, getting ready to smash him over the head with another piece, when he looked up. She froze in horror when she smelled his face.

The smile was gone. In its place was a gnashing snarl of teeth. His eyes had turned… were they really red?

“Oh hell no, motherfucker,” he whispered under his breath. He grabbed the piece of her cane that was wrapped around his leg in both hands and pulled. The string snapped and fell away, leaving him free. Terezi took several steps backwards, her breath coming in ragged gasps. How could Gamzee be so utterly terrifying? He stood and followed her slowly.

“NO ONE MOTHERFUCKING MAKES ME KNEEL,” he roared, closing in on her.

“What about laying down?” Both trolls turned their heads sharply, and unfortunately for Gamzee, this meant turning directly into an elbow to the face. Vriska knocked him to the ground, but fluttered upwards with her wings and landed beside him. Terezi could smell the blood pouring from the wound on her face, but she seemed entirely unperturbed by this. Gamzee, on the other hand, simply lay where he fell. Blood leaked from his nose where Vriska had smashed it with her blow. He was out cold. Once Vriska was sure of this, she sighed with relief. When she glanced up, though, Vriska realized that Terezi was staring at her (or, at least, had her head pointed in her general direction) with her mouth agape.

“You… he killed you!” She said, alarmed. Vriska shrugged.

“Guess not. Must be something to do with God Tier. And anyway…” Vriska bent down and picked up one of Gamzee’s juggling pins. It was the one he had used on Vriska, and her blood was still wet on it. Before it had hit her face, she had seen that something else was on it. With a thumb, Vriska wiped away her own blood to reveal more dried blood underneath. This blood, however, was green. Vriska lifted the pin and showed it to Terezi.

“Like I said,” she began, “I didn’t kill Nepeta. Apparently, Gamzee did.” Terezi took the pin from her hand and sniffed it deeply. She frowned, but it was obvious that she couldn’t deny the evidence.

“Apparently,” Terezi echoed. “But I get the feeling that I have been missing a lot of evidence. What has been going on?”

“A lot of shit,” Vriska replied with a sigh.

And so, while the clown slept, the lawyer and the goddess swapped stories. Perhaps not like friends, but not quite like enemies, either.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Oh, you saw this?

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Yeah, it's an alternate ending.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

It's sad.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Don't say I didn't warn you.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

“NO ONE MOTHERFUCKING MAKES ME KNEEL,” he roared, closing in on her. Terezi felt her back hit the wall. There was no where else to run. She held her breath, not wanting to smell any more.

She felt pain, excruciating pain, and then, nothing.

---

The door opens and two forms sneak inside. It closes once more on silent hinges, and goes dark.

“I think we’ll be okay in here for a while.”

“Whatever you say KK. Smells kinda funny though.”

“… Yeah, I guess it does. But that’s this whole fucking meteor for you, isn’t it? … Fuck, why is it so dark? Where’s the fucking light?”

“Looks fine to me.”

“Shut the hell up, fuckass.” After more cursing and fumbling, a switch is finally found, and some old flickering florescent lights illuminate the space.

When Karkat turns around, he sees something he never wanted to see.

To one side is Vriska, her face smashed and bleeding and her head bent at an odd angle. Propped up against the far wall is Terezi, but she’s much more of a mess. Her blood is everywhere.

And drawn on the wall, in teal and cerulean, is, “ARE YOU NEXT? )”

Karkat falls to his knees, red tears streaming down his face. He makes a strangled sob, and nothing more.

“KK? KK, what’s wrong? What happened?” He feels Sollux’s hands press searchingly to his shoulders, but he can’t speak. Loss and sadness seize up his throat. All he can do is cry.

In the distance, he hears a faint honk.

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Yeah, I suck at titles.

But I was thinking that the death could have gone either way (heroic because she died saving Terezi, but also not heroic because she died without getting Terezi completely out of harm's way), so I did an alternate ending with some sad Karkat in there too. Poor Karkles.

Lovin' this and lovin' that alternate end (:

[Jim Groovester]

Here's some ancestor politics.

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It had become a routine for the Empress. Every day, for the past two lunar cycles, the Grand Highblood had sent an assassin. The Empress would wait in her quarters until the assassin opened the door, at which point she would kill the intruder, or as had become much more frequent, a member of her royal guardianjurers arrived to inform her the assassin had been apprehended and summarily executed, and that the body was on its way to be staked along the road leading to the terrestrial palace of Her Imperious Condescension. Her walls were slowly staining with the varied blood colors of multiple attempts, her room starting to resemble a weathered shadow of the Grand Highblood’s palace.

There was absolutely no expectation on the part of the Grand Highblood that such a predictable stream of killers would actually succeed in their mission. No, the truth was far more degrading. The Grand Highblood meant it as an insult, that he considered the Empress weak enough to be easily dispatched by proxies. Were the attempts legitimate, the Empress would consider that a small political victory. Unfortunately, her political power was not yet so supreme that she could retaliate against these insults, and so, like every day, she bore the insult.

Today, however, was different. Today, the Grand Highblood sent a laughssassin.

The Empress received no warning from her guardianjurers posted at the door to her private quarters. The door swung open, revealing the lanky form of the laughssassin. At his feet, the two guardianjurers lie dead, their necks snapped. The laughssassin had struck silently. The Empress grinned as she grabbed her double-headed trident. The Grand Highblood meant to kill her this time.

The laughssassin stepped inside and closed the door behind him. “The Grand Highblood’s got a motherfucking joke for an empress.”

“Does he? I would be honored to hear it.”

“What do you call a struggling empress?”

“What?”

The laughssassin starts laughing uncontrollably. “A reel problem.”

That joke is at least a thousand sweeps old, and it was probably just as terrible when it was first told as it is now. “I don’t get it.” Nothing infuriates a member of the Grand Highblood’s court quite like not getting a joke.

“What’s not to motherfucking get?” The laughssassin roars.

The Empress did not expect such a rapid assault. The laughssassin had closed the distance incredibly quickly. She was pinned against the wall, her trident stuck immobile between her and the laughssassin. One hand clenched her jaw, the other reached for the back of her head.

She grabbed the wrist of the hand on her chin, pulling the opposite way the laughssassin pushed. Her other hand went to his face, her sharpened claws digging into his cheek. She began scratching. The laughssassin started laughing to himself.

Her efforts at preventing her neck from snapping slowly failing, she felt around the laughssassin’s neck for his larynx. She clenched hard, her claws digging deep into the flesh around, and she pulled. The laughssassin stopped laughing.

“What do you call a laughssassin who can not laugh?” She asked as she gripped harder.

“What?” He mouthed.

“Dead.”

The Empress yanked, feeling her claws scratch the larynx as her hand pulled back. The laughssassin released his grip on her head and took a step backwards as he coughed violently, the double headed trident between them falling to the floor. The Empress picked up the trident and thrust at the laughssassin. He grabbed hold of the tines and turned them away, still coughing. The empress slashed the opposite end at his throat, cutting deeply into the neck.

The laughssassin glared at the Empress as purple blood poured from his neck. Moments later, he collapsed onto the ground. The Empress walked to the corpse and stabbed it a few times in the interest of caution.

The door to her quarters opened, a half dozen guardianjurers streaming into the room. “Your Imperious Condescension! Are you well?”

The Empress rested one end of her trident on the ground, holding it straight with her hand. She looked at the laughssassin, a smile forming on her lips. “Yes.”

* * *

The imperial messenger approached the Grand Highblood, a mysterious bag in his grasp. “Grand Highblood Lordhonk, Her Imperious Condescension Regalsea brings you a joke.”

The Highblood eyed the bag at the messenger’s side before signaling to proceed.

The messsenger stood up. “What did the laughssassin say to the Empress?”

“What?”

“I’m here to kill you.” The messenger said. “What did the Empress say in return?”

“What?”

The messenger dumped the contents of his bag onto the floor: the head of the laughssassin, with the spine still attached. “Back off.”

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I've been kicking around an idea in my head for a while now about writing about Feferi's ancestor, and the sort of political trials she would have to go through to secure power. Primarily in her way would be the Grand Highblood. So this is brainstorming for that fic, but it stands well enough on its own as the sort of things that are probably typical for troll politics.

The names are tentative. Ancestor names are already pretty stupid, but the issue is coming up with the best one. Somehow, I don't think Empress Fishpuns would be an appropriate name for Feferi's ancestor.

Also in case it wasn't obvious I am terrible at making up jokes.

[draconicAlgorithm]

@ Jim: I think the terrible jokes were half the fun in this. Nice job.

@ wilySubversionist: I warned you about alternate endings bro. I told you dog.
@ Doodled and Rebbe: Thank you both!