AlterAliased: A Text-Heavy Alternate Universe

[TheFinalWraith]

Listen to his advice, sometimes it's good to talk to someone who is neither crazy nor a wuss, if just for variety's sake... Or is he crazy/wussy?

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Hm. Seems Karkat's innate asshattery combined with Terezi's ability to make people uncomfortable equals someone no one in their right mind would want to talk to. Luckily there's always a plethora of people who aren't in their right mind.
Let's see here... We've got a fascination with the gray one (though it mirrors canon Sollux and Karkat's 'bros but with a slight hint of caligunous that neither is interested in pursuing'), antagonizing the cerulean one (without even bothering to be partners), and... it just occurs to me that Terezi didn't really forge many bonds did she?
All that's left is some fascination with the red texted human which... Karkat is really better off not pursuing considering how he seems to enjoy pissing Kanaya off.
Oh wait, I'm forgetting one other social link... tenuous it may be.

When you're done listening to Gamzee, indulge in your MOST SHAMEFUL INTEREST with the green blooded troll in the hat.

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Also... this Kanaya kind of really needs to have a real moirail and not just 'I'm too much of a pussy to admit to my flushed feelings so let's pretend to be pale.'

[winglessDrake]

>: Be Gamzee! Try to set Karkat straight.

[Alana]

> Alana: Probably not post again until much later because you need to write an ENGLISH PAPER that is due in ABOUT EIGHT HOURS
> Alana: Instead, PROCRASTINATE BY TALKING ABOUT YOUR AU
> Alana: Convince yourself this is PRODUCTIVE

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That was horrifying and yet kind of adorable as well. Nicely done.

Thank you C: That was pretty much the idea!

... Even if it did start messing up my shipping chart. Can the author have non-canon ships for her own adventure? XD

Listen to his advice, sometimes it's good to talk to someone who is neither crazy nor a wuss, if just for variety's sake... Or is he crazy/wussy?

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Hm. Seems Karkat's innate asshattery combined with Terezi's ability to make people uncomfortable equals someone no one in their right mind would want to talk to. Luckily there's always a plethora of people who aren't in their right mind.
Let's see here... We've got a fascination with the gray one (though it mirrors canon Sollux and Karkat's 'bros but with a slight hint of caligunous that neither is interested in pursuing'), antagonizing the cerulean one (without even bothering to be partners), and... it just occurs to me that Terezi didn't really forge many bonds did she?
All that's left is some fascination with the red texted human which... Karkat is really better off not pursuing considering how he seems to enjoy pissing Kanaya off.
Oh wait, I'm forgetting one other social link... tenuous it may be.

When you're done listening to Gamzee, indulge in your MOST SHAMEFUL INTEREST with the green blooded troll in the hat.

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Also... this Kanaya kind of really needs to have a real moirail and not just 'I'm too much of a pussy to admit to my flushed feelings so let's pretend to be pale.'

Yeah I pretty much boiled all three commands down to
> Karkat: Be a massive douche
with hopefully satisfactory results. XD Dammit KK, you are such an asshole. SUCH OF ONE.
Also, I love reading your speculation on the relationships. Because you totally just reminded me of ALL THE FURRY ROLEPLAYS (ALL OF THEM). Yesssssssssss. This will make the most amaaaaazing update.

And yeah, Kan really does. Thankfully, Aradia really is deep in the pale, so she's good at being a 'rail for Kan, even if Kan's not so great at being a 'rail for her.

SO HEY I AM NOW OPEN FOR QUESTIONS AND SHIT. WOOH.

[TheFinalWraith]

Eh, I can see Karkat and Terezi having flushed feelings (even if they don't ultimately act on them) being kind of a constant, like Matthew McConnaughey.

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Because... especially as they are now, who else would put up with their bullshit?

And I'm just intrigued by the premise you provided me for how their interactions have been modified. It's kind of like a puzzle, and that seems cool.
Also one more thing, ordinarily I'm annoyed when people give the blueblood proficiency in robotics because I feel that's more of just Equius's thing and not necessarily bundled with being STRONG, but I like your (kind of heartbreaking) explanation of why Kanaya builds machines, so I'll overlook it.

[Alana]

Hee, you do have a good point! That is not the universal constant I was originally looking for, but they are entertaining to bounce off each other, and I don't have anything slotted for Karkat, flushed-wise...

(Terezi is possibly a different story. :B But I will have to see if commands lead me to follow the fragile framework I have built up in my head!)

Heehee, regardless of the reason you like it, I'm glad my little FA is interesting enough to get you thinking about anything about it~

And I will say that a lot of what Karkat said was just to get a rise out of Kanaya. Part of the reason she has robots is so I can make terrible PS references. :P But I am glad it doesn't feel weird to you!

[TheFinalWraith]

Well it seems that this arrangement of characters has more potential for kismesis and auspistices than the primary incarnation so that's neat too.

Another option for Terezi though? ...All I can see is Kanaya being creepy at her and Terezi proclaiming Sollux to be her best friend.

[Alana]

Yeah it does, kinda! (I just need to stop sucking at blackrom. :P As does Eridan, the not-so-poor bastard.)

And I'm afraid you need to think outside their universe a little. :B

Semi-canon ficlog:

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> Terezi: Hit on Dave

gallivanterCoronis [GC] started trolling troglodyticGadgeteer [TG]


GC: HEY HUMAN
TG: hello
GC: do you want to know something >:o]
GC: HEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE
TG: um
GC: i think you’re really cute <3
TG: o_o
TG: uh thanks i guess
TG: a/s/l
TG: s is species
TG: you’re a troll right
GC: SO FUCKING SMART TOO
GC: hahahahahaha
GC: HEEHEEHEEHEEHEE
GC: 6/troll/right behind you~
GC: HEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE

[TheFinalWraith]

Ah. I was confused because Gamzee never really pestered any humans besides Dave.

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This is just my opinion but, if Teal!Terezi's morbid and giggly ways were enough to alienate Red!Dave, I didn't really consider that an even crazier Terezi would get anywhere with a presumably less callous Dave.
I mean, I could easily picture Indigo!Terezi arranging the deaths of several Doomed Daves just for aesthetic appeal, and not get what Alpha Dave would be upset about. I mean, it's not like any of those beautiful corpses are his, just a bunch of loser Daves who she was able to trick. But then again, I'm not the one writing this story so why am I even talking.

[Alana]

Terezi's crazy flirty ways carry across fucking universes, man. (So does KK's hate for John, and Kan's love for Rose, and possibly Tav's awkward crush on Jade though maybe not since he already has a flushed quadrant? IDK, I am still making some of this up as I go along. :P )

But yeah greenDave pretty much thinks she is the freakiest freak to ever want to write him love letters in his own blood. :B He so does not want at all ever. It'll be hilarious.

[TheFinalWraith]

Oh no doubt. In fact I'm already laughing at the idea of it.
I just thought you were discussing a reciprocated flushed relationship which... Even if Terezi was on sopor slime I can't see happening.
Also, it occurred to me that Sollux kind of lucked out with his color arrangement in that he gets to keep all his existing relationships. I mean the green-blooded one has a crush on the gray one, which is Aradia attracted to Sollux, the gray and yellow one are at minimum pretty much best friends, which is Sollux and Feferi, and the teal one loves pestering the gray one which is Karkat and Sollux (as we saw).

[Hazel]

This is reminding me of when I started reading Hivebent and could never remember who anyone was, and was convinced that Karkat was the Pisces troll because the Cancer symbol sort of looks like two fish. Is there like a chart or something? Not of everyone, just who's already been revealed.

I like the way you set up Karkat and Sollux's interactions because it's sort of like KarkatSollux and TereziSollux mixed into one. Which is awesome. And teal!Karkat is the best Karkat.

[Alana]

@Wraith: Ahahahaha yeah no. TZ is a flirt, but that does not mean people flirt back! :B Sorry for the confusion.

And yeah Sol is a pretty lucky dude! He has people who like him and bother him and care about him, even though he's a depressive self-loathing weirdo. :B

@Hazel:

You may indeed have charts. You may even have ALL the charts. :B And the only people who haven't at least been talked to are John, Dave, and Nepeta, who are really not that huge of reveals!



John: ectoBaubles
Rose: tyroTergiversant
Dave: troglodyticGadgeteer
Jade: giddyGumshoe
Equius: crescentTranquilizer
Gamzee: tenderCompass
Feferi: cleftClarity
Sollux: toxicAnatomy
Aradia: affrayAccomplice
Vriska: antlionGrace
Karkat: carnageGuider
Tavros: agniTears
Kanaya: gougedArtemis
Terezi: gallivanterCoronis
Nepeta: aconiteCandiru
Eridan: casanovaAplomb

[TheFinalWraith]

Here's a small tip. I'm not sure how good at editing you are, but you might want to give Gamzee some bags under his eyes. Ordinarily the make-up would hide it but without it... He looks kind of weird doesn't he?

[Alana]

Actually, that was a conscious choice, and I could add them easily enough-- but I wanted him to look comparatively bright-eyed.

[TheFinalWraith]

Ah. Fair enough. I'm intrigued to see what a Gamzee who is neither stoned nor... psychotic would be like.

[Hazel]

Oh, I totally missed red!Equius, he looks like he could be entertaining. I love your choices, you made a really interesting mix. And Gamzee has freckles!

[Alana]

CG: 1 M34N S3R1OUSLY
CG: YOU M4K3 ON3 L1TTL3 COMM3NT 4BOUT TH31R FR34K1SH STR3NGTH 4ND TH3Y FL1P TH3 FUCK OUT
TC: Um, were you bothering Kanaya again?
CG: DO W3 KNOW 4NYON3 3LS3 WHO'S FR34K1SHLY STRONG?
CG: NO W3 FUCK1NG DON'T
CG: OF COURS3 1 M34N K4N4Y4
TC: I really wish you wouldn't do that! }:(
TC: She has a pretty hard time of it already.
TC: I really don't see why you feel the need to antagonize everyone constantly!
CG: 1 DON'T S33 WHY TH3Y DON'T 4LL JUST GROW TH1CK3R SK1NS
CG: 1 N3V3R L13 ):]
TC: But you do hint.
TC: It's really mean, Vantas. }:\
CG: PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF H4H4H4H3H3H3H3
CG: 4ND WH4T 4R3 YOU GO1NG TO DO 4BOUT 1T, P4L3SLUT?
CG: MO1R41L FOR M3?
TC: }:|
CG: WH4T TH3 FUCK 1S TH4T F4C3 FOR?
TC: Disappointment.
CG: ):?
TC: Do you need to be so cruel?
TC: Couldn't you at least try?
CG: WHY?
TC: Maybe because I asked you to?
TC: It would make me happier if we could all get along,
CG: GOD YOU'R3 4 W31RD ON3
CG: HOW 4BOUT "NO" 4ND 4LSO "STOP FUCK1NG TRY1NG TO B3 P4L3 FOR TH3 3NT1R3 FUCK1NG WORLD, YOU MO1R41L-CH4S3R"
TC: I'm not a moirail chaser.
CG: YOU SUR3 FUCK1NG 4CT L1K3 ON3!
CG: S3R1OUSLY WH4T 1S YOUR M4LFUNCT1ON
CG: C4N'T YOU S3TTL3 DOWN W1TH JUST ON3 TROLL
CG: 1T'S NOT L1K3 TH3R3'S 4NY SHORT4G3 OF 4SSHOL3S FOR YOU TO CL1NG TO!!!
TC: Okay. Fine.
TC: Are you volunteering?
CG: WH4T
TC: If you want me to moirail for just one person,
TC: do you want it to be you?
CG: WHY WOULD 1 N33D 4 FUCK1NG MO1R41L
TC: Because you're an asshole.
TC: And you hurt people.
CG: 3MOT1ONS DON'T FUCK1NG COUNT D1PSH1T
CG: 4NYW4Y
CG: 1 H4V3 MY S1GHTS S3T ON SOM3ON3 3LS3
TC: }:I
TC: So you have no interest in being pale with me.
TC: I guess that means you shouldn't have any opinions on my pale actions with others, huh.
CG: WH4T
CG: OK4Y STOP TH4T
CG: LOG1C4L 4RGUM3NTS 4R3 SUPPOS3D TO B3 MY TH1NG NOOKSUCK3R
TC: Well maybe being a paleslut is mine.
CG: BUT
CG: 4RGH
CG: F1N3 WH4T3V3R
CG: JUST STOP FUCK1NG P4L3FL1RT1NG W1TH M3
CG: 1 SW34R 1F YOU M4K3 TH4T FUCK1NG STUP1D D1SS4PO1NT3D F4C3 4T M3 3V3R 4G41N
TC: Yeah?
CG: 1'LL FUCK1NG T4K3 4 TRUMP3T1NG F34TH3RB43ST D1V3 R1GHT OFF TH1S FUCK1NG H4NDL3 4ND STR41GHT 1NTO FUCK YOU V1LL3
CG: 4ND CHOP YOUR FUCK1NG H34D OFF FOR TH3 CR1M3 OF P1SS1NG M3 OFF
TC: Then I hope you'll stop disappointing me, Mr. Vantas. }:(

carnageGuider [CG] stopped trolling tenderCompass [TC]

You sigh, and continue to feel disappointed in your friend.

This is because you are now the paleslut I mean Gamzee.

[TheFinalWraith]

Examine room, and reflect upon how, though harsh, there's some truth to Karkat's words. Because... god damn are your friends crazy.

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Well this is a pleasant surprise, gentle but completely self-assured. I think I might like this Gamzee. Though I wonder how he'll live up to his title as the Page of Rage...

[Alana]

You look around your HIVE.

You think it's pretty nice. Your ability to COMMUNE WITH THE BEASTS OF ALTERNIA means that you can live safely on your own in the country, in a small RANCH stocked with THE FLUFFIEST OF BLEATBEASTS.

You have been working on making them ENTIRELY DOMESTIC without needing to be constantly COMMUNED with, which is TRICKIER THAN ONE MIGHT EXCPECT. But you've done well over the past few sweeps, and you let them wander in and out of your home at will, because YOU LOVE THEM. They are the BEST PETS and sometimes you CUDDLE WITH THEM and your BELOVED LUSUS to READ BOOKS.

A happy bleat at your side gets your attention.

Aww, Sugarfluff brought you a present!



You coo over it, and stroke the bleatbeast's nose in appreciation before putting the mangled squeakbeast into your THERMAL HULL. There is nearly enough for a good SQUEAKBEAST STEW! You will have to make some in the next couple days.

Once you've done that, you settle in for some CONTEMPLATION OF LIFE. You like CONTEMPLATING things. It's QUIET AND PEACEFUL and gives you a UNIQUE VIEW of your violent and cruel world-- namely, that all trolls should work together to make the world less terrible.

You know it will be hard, but it's something you can believe in.

Unfortunately, few of your friends agree with you. TAVROS does, in principal, but his UNFORTUNATE CIRCUMSTANCES (that is, KILLING PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE HE MEETS TO FEED HIS LUSUS) make it hard for him to put it into practice.

But that's okay. His heart is in the right place. With your encouragement, he's been learning how to make death quick and painless.

Your other friends... you've tried to bring a lot of them around, but they aren't all that receptive, informing you that they already have moirails, that you'd make everything boring, that you're a paleslut-- it's really kind of disheartening sometimes. Yeah, you want them to be better than they are. You want everyone to be better than they are.

It's hard, being peaceful and growing up on Alternia. It's hard and nobody understands.

[aliasUnknown]

Well this is pretty interesting I suppose.

[TheFinalWraith]

Pester the Jade-blooded one. Sure her motives aren't near as pure as you'd like, but you have to admit, she's got quite a talent for meddling.

[winglessDrake]

And this is the guy who blinded Karkat, huh? That's....kind of creepy!

Seconding pestering the jade-blooded one.

[Alana]

Blinding Karkat?

What's wrong with that?

It's not hurting if no one bleeds.

He's said so himself.


























But that won't happen for a while.

You pester the jade-blooded one right now.

TC: Hello?
AG: Heeeeeeeey!:)
AG: How's it hanging with my most chocolatey buddy?
TC: Not very well, at the moment. }:(
AG: Oh noooooooo!
AG: Is someone being bitchy about your moirailing?
TC: Yes, pretty much.
TC: CG has offered to remove my head from my shoulders if I make a disappointed face at him again.
AG: Bluh!
AG: What did he do?
TC: Asked me why Kanaya gets upset when he prods her like she's a milkbeast and he has a shockstick.
TC: Apparently emotional hurt doesn't count as hurt! }>:\
AG: bluh bluh bluh goddamn he can be such a bitch to people can't he?
AG: He was bothering Tav earlier too :((((((((
TC: Oh.
AG: Hahahahahahahaha! You're making that face aren't you?
AG: Don't worry >:)
AG: I advised our little Taaaaaaaavros and he blocked that asshole instead of talking to him~~~~~~~~
TC: }:)
TC: Thank you Vriska!
TC: I don't think I could have handled it if he'd upset Tavros again.
AG: Hey no prooooooooblem!
AG: That's why we're all up in his red quadrants, right? >:)
TC: What?
TC: Vriska, is this going to end in you calling me a paleslut too? }:(
AG: Pffffffff!!!!!!!!
AG: Oh man, wow, hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!
TC: }:? I know you're his moirail, I'm not trying to infringe on your quadrant.
AG: Oh gamzeeeeeeee that was so not what I meaaaaaaaant~
AG: I don't think you're pale for him at all. >:)
TC: What?
AG: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!
TC: I don't follow. }:(
AG: Maaaaaaaan, boys. X)
AG: This is gonna be so much fun to waaaaaaaatch~

And then she logged off.

You have no idea what that was all about!

[TheFinalWraith]

...Well well, seems Gamzee's even more interesting than I expected. This'll be fun to watch.
Consider contacting Kanaya. Sure Aradia most likely has everything under control, but in Kanaya's case, I don't think you can have enough people letting her know they value her.

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I'm a bit confused why this particular instance of Vriska isn't flushed for Tavros even though it mirrors both their canon relationship and the one between Kanaya and Vriska. Is it because she's lacking the same personality disorders that attracted her to him in the first place?

[Alana]

Re: relationships:

Because I wanted it that way. :P
But also because, yeah, Vriska doesn't have the same issues as in canon, and while she's meddlesome and manipulative, she doesn't have that whole thing about making Tavros strong (so they can be concupiscent together) going on. Also, Kan's bad habit of going flushed for her palemances went with her to being blue.
... Also, because I wanted it that way. There's a couple romances that don't directly tie to those in canon, but to the fragile history I've written in my head for these characters. For instance, the Eridan-Feferi/Vriska thing from back on page 2? Draws elements from Eridan's blackflirting with Sollux and kismesis with Vriska, but I don't think anyone could claim Feferi was black for Kanaya (or cheated on her with a kismesis with Sollux). :P There's another one with Kanaya that I hinted at that pretty much has no direct ties to canon relationships, either, though again it draws on some elements of their canon interactions.

While I have a definite and clear framework for how the AU is set up, it's also subject to "AND I THINK IT WOULD BE COOL". :B

(Also probably going to get this moved out of the cradle sometime in the next couple days, just a heads up. :3 )