EDIT: OP UPDATED 3/21
Man, I wasn't sure if we should post this to the regular discussion forum, or here, but it seems pretty solidly half-headcanon and half-straight-up-made-the-fuck-up, so here I shall dump it.
My good buddy Aisu and I have been working hard on establishing a functioning system for the trolls' 48-Sign Astrological System. And we did it, mostly. We never did settle on a Grand Riddle for all 48 Signs, but we worked out pretty much everything else. It started with having to work out the basic astrophysics of the Alternian Solar System.
bluh bluh huge tl;dr
Alternian Astrophysics
The ALTERNIAN SUN is a red giant star in the last part of its cycle. This accounts for its size, general coloration, heat and level of solar radiation. This is why its effect on the Alternian planet is so INTENSE during the day. This also means that even without SGRUB, Alternia was probably DOOMED, hence the Trolls' obsession with the domination and colonization of other planets. Because of the sun's LOW GRAVITY, the Alternian solar system has only THREE planets, of which Alternia itself is the SECOND. Alternia's orbit is VERY SLIGHTLY ELLIPTICAL, and the tilt of its axis DRAMATIC, but not COMPLETELY SIDEWAYS like URANUS, the human solar system's DERPY PLANET. The MOSTLY SOUTHERN Alternian ocean helps insulate its aquatic aristocracy from being FRIED due to increased proximity to the sun relative to the NORTHERN LAND DWELLERS.
Alternia has TWO MOONS. They orbit at a 20 degree ANGLE to each other, but in the SAME DIRECTION. The pink interior moon is called KROLOA, the Queen Moon. This moon has a very small moon of its own, called SLUGHA, the Servant. The somewhat larger green exterior moon is called MATKAA, the Mother Moon. Astronomically speaking, Kroloa is fairly recently acquired. It COLLIDED with a newly formed Alternia, creating the huge crater that would become its southern ocean, and splintering off Slugha. Matkaa reigned what was left of Kroloa into orbit. The two moons orbit in a 2:1 RESONANCE, with Kroloa making two orbits for every one of Matkaa's. Alternia has pretty RIDICULOUS TIDES, one of many things that makes living next to the ocean super dangerous.
The Alternian Calendar
The Full Alternian Calendar (Long Document is Long, see the Signs section for more about the signs.)
An Alternian SOLAR SWEEP, as we know, lasts a little more than 2 Earth years. Around 2.46 EARTH YEARS to be precise, with trolls aging just a BIT slower than humans to maximize POPULATION NUMBERS relative to LOW POPULATION GROWTH. This wide orbit is necessary for the planet to support life without being COMPLETELY FRIED by the Alternian sun.
There are 24 BILUNAR PERIGREES in each Solar Sweep. Each perigree begins when both moons are at the closest point in their respective orbits to Alternia at THE SAME TIME. Alternia also has FOUR SEASONS, as Earth does, and they are as follows, in order: BRIGHT, DULL, DARK, DIM. Each season is broken up within itself into SETS OF SIX as a secondary way to refer to what humans would know as MONTHS. The more common way is to just call the Season, or month, by the NUMBER OF THE PERIGEE which commenced it. If a troll referred to "The 10th Bilunar Perigee of the 4th Dark Season", this is simply a LONG-FORM colloquial way of referring to the month itself--except in very specific contexts, as when the Perigee is presently occurring, both mean the SAME THING. Each individual Season is 50 DAYS, its length and the number of its days of course determined by the orbits of the moons.
The EQUINOX is an unusual concept in Troll culture. While it can refer to a pair of days in the Dull and Dim Seasons when the day and night are equal, it can ALSO refer to THE MIDDLE DAY OF EACH SEASON, when Kroloa makes its independent perigee and an equal number of nights fall to either side of it. The troll calendar sure is weird!
Alternian Holidays
Wriggling Days
(Anytime)
Unlike HUMAN BIRTHDAYS, a troll's Wriggling Day celebrates not their hatching, but the day they EMERGED FROM THEIR TRIALS and first WRIGGLED UP TO THE SURFACE. This is because a troll who does not emerge from their trials may as well have NEVER BEEN BORN, and because NOBODY KEEPS TRACK of who was hatched from which brood.
Solar Sweep Commencement
(The 1st Bilunar Perigee of the 1st Dull Season's 1st Day)
Celebrating the BEGINNING OF A SOLAR SWEEP as well as the coming DULL SEASON, the Solar Sweep Commencement is traditionally celebrated with MASS CULLINGS, meant to cleanse the planet of the weak in preparation for a new Sweep. DRONES and CULLING SQUADS may also celebrate with a feast, but most trolls acknowledge the day by HIDING and TRYING NOT TO DIE.
Ashen Allegiances' Day
(The 1st Bilunar Perigee of the 1st Dull Season's 35th Day)
This is HUMAN VALENTINES DAY for AUSPISTICES. Ashen groupings may celebrate the day by SETTLING OLD DISPUTES for the new Sweep and TAKING IN THE DYING SCENERY together in order to FORM SOME NEW ONES.
The Feast of Fuck Off and Die
(The 6th Bilunar Perigee of the 6th Dull Season's 21st Day)
Celebrating the long-standing rivalry between LAND and SEA trolls, on this one day every Sweep the two groups put their differences aside to HAVE AN UNCOMFORTABLE MEAL and LAUD INSULTS AT EACH OTHER ALONG THE SEASHORE.
Festival of Caliginous Quarrels
(The 10th Bilunar Perigee of the 4th Dark Season's 15th Day)
This is HUMAN VALENTINES DAY for KISMESISES. Blackrom couplings may celebrate this day with highly romantic PUBLIC DUELS, passionate BRAWLS, or they may simply deliver HATE MAIL to each other. The 16th is generally spent TREATING INJURIES.
12th Perigee's Eve
(The 11th Bilunar Perigee of the 5th Dark Season's 50th Day)
You know about this one.
The Festival of Pale Partnerships
(The 16th Bilunar Perigee of the 4th Dim Season's 19th Day)
As you may be expecting, HUMAN VALENTINES DAY for MOIRAILS. Pale couples can spend this day together BONDING over such wholesome and cathartic activities as HUNTING, WEAPONS PROFICIENCY TRAINING, and SHARING FEELINGS in SOME MANNER OF PILE. All piles must be cleared by the 20th under penalty of CULLING.
Feast of the Rainbow Drinkers
(The 20th Bilunar Perigee of the 2nd Bright Season's 9th Day)
This holiday is celebrated by RAINBOW DRINKERS and other UNDEAD, who roam the land in the daylight to FEAST UPON THE LIVING anywhere we can catch them. The LIVING, on the other hand, may attempt to SHELTER UNDERGROUND where possible.
Domination Day
(The 21st Bilunar Perigee of the 3rd Bright Season's 30th Day)
This day commemorates the day when the troll race first went to the stars to CONQUER THEIR NEIGHBORS. It is celebrated much like many INDEPENDENCE DAYS on Earth, with FIREWORKS, FIRES, and often some manner of RITUAL SACRIFICE. Except instead of celebrating INDEPENDENCE, it celebrates the THEFT OF IT from others.
Flushed Ardor's Day
(The 24th Bilunar Perigee of the 6th Bright Season's 17th Day)
This one is a lot more like HUMAN VALENTINES DAY. For MATESPRITS, naturally.
Solar Sweep Terminus
(The 24th Bilunar Perigee of the 6th Bright Season's 50th Day)
The last day of the Solar Sweep, it tends to be spent PREPARING FOR THE NEXT SWEEP by BRACING FOR INEVITABLE DOOM, ATTEMPTING TO PREVENT IT, or, for some, TRYING TO BRING IT ABOUT.
Alternian Astrology Basics and Myth
According to LEGEND, it is the power and proximity of Kroloa, as well as her possession of a smaller moon, that gives the similarly colored magenta bloods the ASTROPHYSIOLOGICAL RIGHT TO RULE, but it was Matkaa who gave her life from her CELESTIAL SLURRY. This is of course TOTAL HOOFBEASTCRAP, but who cares about SCIENCE where ASTROLOGY is concerned?
In Alternian Astrology, there are 48 SIGNS, with 23 signs in KROLOA'S ORBIT, 23 signs in MATKAA'S ORBIT, and 2 signs SHARED where the orbits cross over the ALTERNIAN EQUATOR. These signs are also divided between 5 ELEMENTS and 3 MODES. All the signs in Kroloa's orbit are WATER and EARTH; in tying in with the legend, it is a given that Kroloa would have domain over both the sea and land dwellers. All signs in Matkaa's orbit are FIRE and AIR. The two equatorial signs are given the element AETHER, the STUPID ELEMENT.
Water signs are related mostly to LEADERSHIP, COMBAT, and AGGRESSION. Earth signs pertain to NURTURE, CREATIVITY, and EARTHINESS, obviously. Fire signs are related to PITY, EMOTION, and SERVITUDE. Air signs are connected with INTELLIGENCE, FOCUS, and other things about THE MIND. Aether is some kind of SPIRITUAL NONSENSE about POWER, MYSTERY, and FUCK ALL knows what else.
The modes are CARDINAL, FIXED, and MUTABLE, and work pretty much the SAME as they do in Earth astrology. You can LOOK THEM UP. They are not SUPER important.
It is SAID that the Alternian Empress or Emperor will wriggle under BOTH the equatorial signs. This is almost certainly NOT TRUE, but almost all of them will CLAIM it.
The CORE of each troll's astrological chart is their 2 MOON SIGNS, their SUN SIGN, and their ASCENDANT (whichever sign was on the horizon at their time of birth). But really, the two moon signs are the MOST IMPORTANT and most trolls don't GIVE A SHIT about their sun or ascendant signs.
The 48 Signs
Once again, this chart is sort of BORKED. The paler slots on each orbit are where the equatorial signs (Emperor and Empress) fall, and Sword and Sea Serpent are simply the most immediately adjacent.
Each sign is defined by two RELATIVELY AMBIGUOUS keywords, which is part of the GRAND RIDDLE that we didn't really work out. They key words of each of a trolls two moon signs COMBINED are supposed to point to the ESSENCE of their personality in some way. Having a Water/Fire combination is supposed to be especially VOLATILE and marks the troll for some kind of LEADERSHIP. Earth/Air is somewhat SIMILAR, but a bit less effective. Water/Air and Earth/Fire combos are more STABLE, but less capable for leadership. SUPPOSEDLY.
AETHER (both Aether signs are marked as Cardinal)
Empress: Domineering but Expansive
Emperor: Pitying but Confident
WATER
Aquatic Hoofbeast (Mutable): Regal, Sophisticated
Cuttlefish (Fixed): Ominous, Entangling
Gl’bgolyb (Cardinal): Powerful, Incomprehensible
Ship (Mutable): Enterprising, Progressive
Executioner (Fixed): Exacting, Merciless
Sea Serpent (Cardinal): Elegant, Commanding
Gambligant (Mutable): Opportunistic, Risk Taking
Palace (Fixed): Assured, Imposing
Trident (Cardinal): Warlike, Tactical
Crab (Mutable): Caustic, Snippy
Whale (Fixed): Beguiling, Alluring
EARTH
Musclebeast (Fixed): Strong, Protective
Mother Grub (Cardinal): Creative, Initiating
Centaur (Mutable): Instinctual, Intuitive
Spider (Fixed): Manipulative, Vicious
Bicyclops (Cardinal): Dual-Natured, Stupid
Frog (Mutable): Slippery, Adaptable
Hive (Fixed): Stable, Welcoming
Club (Cardinal): Resolute, Blunt
Slime (Mutable): Diverse, Permeating
Cave (Fixed): Old-Fashioned, Deep
Burrowbeast (Cardinal): Introspective, Stoic
Adventurer (Mutable): In Touch With the Land, Survivalist
FIRE
Rainbow Drinker (Mutable): Romantic, Dangerous
Scalebeast (Fixed): Cold-Blooded, Harsh
Magma (Cardinal): Passionate, Overflowing
Poet (Mutable): Expressive, Outspoken
Servant (Fixed): Loyal, Uncultured
Sword (Cardinal): Fierce, Cutting
Ghost (Mutable): Detached, Unemotional
Grub (Fixed): Innocent, Foolish
Drone (Cardinal): Obediant, Sexual
Fairy (Mutable): Spiritual, Extranormal
Cat (Fixed): Energetic, Playful
AIR
Wingbeast (Fixed): Flighty, Eccentric
Pshoo (Cardinal): Fast-Moving, Spacy
Seer (Mutable): Insightful, Perceptive
Judge (Fixed): Wise, Discerning
Dragon (Cardinal): Unique, Psychic
Robot (Mutable): Innovative, Ingenious
Bees (Fixed): Sharp, Precise
Arrow (Cardinal): Perfectionist, Detail-Oriented
Wizard (Mutable): Secretive, Mysterious
Star (Fixed): Instructive, Guiding
Comet (Cardinal): Brilliant, Inspiring
Cloud (Mutable): Scattered, Unfocused
Alternian Horoscopes and Examples
The basic DAILY ALTERNIAN HOROSCOPE is always posed as a QUESTION, a riddle that the troll is meant to contemplate and sort out through the day. They come in rhyming couplets and are usually UNNECESSARILY CONFUSING.
There are TWO horoscopes for each troll to read each day, one for each moon. The horoscope relates the moon sign to whichever sign the moon is in on that day.
For example, here are THREE HOROSCOPES for a pair of me and Aisu's fantrolls, and one of a friend who is not signed up for the forum, for a date where KROLOA is in GL'BGOLYB and MATKAA is in PSHOO.
Ottava Sinnen (silentDivulger), moon signs Club/Poet. A former Alternian beat poet rendered mute by a rogue fangbeast.
Her Kroloa Riddle:
Who will her tentacles bludgeon on this day?
What with blunt force can the Speaker say?
Her Matkaa Riddle:
Can words be heard in quickly passing
or understood when mind surpassing?
Later that day, Ottava struggles to make herself understood to a GAGGLE OF IDIOTS and must figure out how to take CONTROL of the situation so that the idiots don't RUIN EVERYTHING. Her solution involves lots of HITTING.
Jaxine Pasron (silentRocket), moon signs Cave/Comet. An enthusiast in astronomy and astrology herself.
Her Kroloa Riddle:
In what dark places will this beast hide
and how long can she stay inside?
Her Matkaa Riddle
When a falling star falls in the blink of an eye,
how can you be sure which direction it flies?
Later that day, Jaxine will lose track of time STARGAZING and forget about an IMPORTANT ENGAGEMENT with a friend while trying to track distant orbits. She won't even realize until said friend BITCHES HER OUT over Trollian when it is FAR TOO LATE to catch up.
Cuvier Requin (royaltyBites), moon signs Emperor/Magma. A lazy, if bitey, aristocrat with blood just barely impure enough to bar him from the throne.
His Kroloa Riddle
When a ruler finds it his duty to serve
how does he fulfill it with no reserve?
His Matkaa Riddle
When the molten boils up fast from below
who can hope to escape its flow?
Later that day, Cuvier is desperately trying to NAG HIS MOIRAIL into going out with him again, but ultimately must resign himself to STAYING IN WITH HIM in order to fulfill his pale quadrant duties. And just as well, since the venue he had meant to attend was the site of a MASS MURDER by someone who was not so lucky as to have a moirail.
Sun Signs
A troll's SUN SIGN is determined by Alternia's POSITION IN ORBIT around its Sun at the time of their Wriggling. Or rather, it is determined by which sign the sun appears to be OCCUPYING at the time. This can be determined by the SEASON of the troll's Wriggling. SUN SIGNS appear to mostly follow only the SIGNS IN MATKAA'S ORBIT, so these are the signs used, except for Empress. Sun signs can point to some SUBCONSCIOUS ASPECT of one's personality, and a potential key to help them unlock the RIDDLE OF THEIR STAR CHART.
Alternian Clock and Ascendants
An Alternian day has 24 HOURS, just like an Earth day does. However, an Alternian hour is equivalent to only 45 EARTH MINUTES, meaning an Alternian day effectively lasts 18 EARTH HOURS. Alternia just happens to orbit VERY FAST, its orbit and tilt having been dramatically effected by its collision with Kroloa.
A troll's ASCENDANT SIGN describes an aspect of their outward personality, the face they usually SHOW TO OTHERS. This sign can be determined by the HOUR AT WHICH THEY WRIGGLED to the surface, and tend to follow the signs in KROLOA'S ORBIT, minus the Emperor, which the tilt of Alternia is closer to.
1st Hour: Empress
2nd Hour: Musclebeast
3rd Hour: Aquatic Hoofbeast
4th Hour: Mother Grub
5th Hour: Cuttlefish
6th Hour: Centaur
7th Hour: Gl’bgolyb
8th Hour: Spider
9th Hour: Ship
10th Hour: Bicyclops
11th Hour: Executioner
12th Hour: Frog
13th Hour: Sea Serpent
14th Hour: Hive
15th Hour: Gambligant
16th Hour: Club
17th Hour: Palace
18th Hour: Slime
19th Hour: Trident
20th Hour: Cave
21st Hour: Crab
22nd Hour: Burrowbeast
23rd Hour: Whale
24th Hour: Adventurer
Credit to Zuki for helpful suggestions, and Weaver who is working on symbols (symbols to be posted upon completion along with improved orbit charts).





Reply With Quote















