TROLLSLUM CAFE VIII: It Keeps Happening!

[Captain Whosit]

(Like I'm going to keep coming up with creative titles.)

Alright, I would just like to start out with a little message. I would like to remind everyone of the big bolded stuff at the bottom of this post. I know that trolls, and some of the other creatures that have been appearing, can tend to be rather rowdy, but I have become a bit concerned lately that it sometimes gets out of hand. I just want to remind everyone that the intent of the Cafe is to be a place to get some free-form, social RP going. Obviously, some rough-housing will be inevitable, but please avoid using characters who are likely to provoke hostile responses by their very nature. I would like the general emphasis to be on social interaction, rather than anti-social interaction.

I do not want to be a cop, but I do want to make sure that this thread is an inviting place for everyone. So, please, do have a good time, but try not to go overboard. I would like the Cafe to be as inviting to new players as possible.

Every where you go, there's places like this; a comfortable place, dimly lit, with coffee and couches and books on the shelves and free wifi and, I don't know, a soup of the day. After the sun comes up they put up the shutters and sell alcohol. It's homey, unless your homelife involves caves and monsters that eat people, which it probablv does, because you're a troll.

It's a good place to have a seat and a cup of coffee, and make a friend, which in your language is the same word as enemy, because... you're a troll.

((And if you are maybe a human, which is a thing that doesn't exist, in another univere pretending to be a troll, maybe this is a good place to roleplay in a casual, social, variably canon setting or try out a new character. Please don't poke the setting too hard and please don't go on any murderous rampages. Honk.

EDIT: Feel free to NPC service when you order something, I can't watch this all the time or reply to every comment. For that matter feel free to assume your troll works here and fill someone's order if you want.

EDIT2: OKAY GUESS WE NEED SOME RULES AFTER ALL.

This is really intended to be a loose social setting for people to fool around and chat and try new characters. It is a not great place for a big brawl in the middle of the room that everyone pretty much has to react to. If you are playing a character who is inevitably going to try and hurt people and provoke this kind of thing, you should really think long and hard about bringing them in here for that reason. If a fight comes up in the course of RP, please take it ''outside' instead of disrupting the whole room. It being in the thread is fine, but it should be set somewhere where new people or people who don't want to be involved can ignore it, please. ))

[Masterweaver]

"...oh..." Leanii sort of smiles kind of maybe.


"{%}{...}{%}{Ya captchalogued id...}{%}{Oh hell...}
{%}{EFRYBODY HID DA DIRD!}{%}"
Metty throws herself under a table. There is an ominous grrrrrrrrrchkchkchkchk sound.

[Rio]

is that right? i remember when i used to flarp some...

[Monster X]

Annika looks very confused at the commotion. Why did the brownshirted one throw themself under the table? "Why did she do that?! : O", she asks the green blood gangsta'.

[Pootporri]

"...oh..." Leanii sort of smiles kind of maybe.

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"{%}{...}{%}{Ya captchalogued id...}{%}{Oh hell...}
{%}{EFRYBODY HID DA DIRD!}{%}"
Metty throws herself under a table. There is an ominous grrrrrrrrrchkchkchkchk sound.

Selvi is just really confused now.

$$ ...Whaattt? $$
She turns to Annika.
$$ Apparently I did somethin' I shouldn'ta... $$

[Burim]

Aeolya decides to draw something REALISTIC, MOTIVATING AND PRETTY BEAUTIFUL.

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what the shit? :<
No no no no, what the fuck is this? This is something SERIOUSLY stupid, what kind of art is this anyway? This is the worst fucking thing she has ever drawn.
She decided to draw something else.

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She draws a Yellow crystal.
Now that IS true art.

[MostlyHarmless]

Dorgaea looks up.
yees, yees iit iis...yoouu knoow, ii woouuld'vee cuulleed foor thiis...
he began horsin around again.
Iit iis quuiitee fuun!

!'LL JUS+ +AKE YOUR WORD FOR !+!

Abioye looks up to see Krsnik and another purpleblood. They didn't look too busy, so he walks up for a chat.
"Good day, my f£llow highblood$. I $££ that you two ar£ partak£n in rath£r... int£r£$t£n £v£nt$. Mind if I join in?"

WELL.... FAR BE !+ FROM ME +O S+OP YOU!

Krsnik wasn't sure what to make of all this.

[potatato]

Dorgaea gets up in a rather dignified manner and dusts off his facial nubs, not fins entirely but nubs.
Yees, yoouu maay jooiin thee wriiggleer fuunboox.
He notices a wriggler.

[Teslamagnetic Integration]

Thank you sir. It means a lot to me to hear that; especially from an officer of the law such as yourself. Hearing Metty's yell and that certain sound made Rhys duck under a table automatically; that sound was all to familiar.

[Dead Zed]

Orim leans forward, interested but still a little constrained.
OOh RReally TTell MMe AAbout YYour EExperiences.

[Monster X]

Annika puts her hand on her chin. "Hmmm. :| Perhaps it has to do with the drinkie thingie! : D Your shirt is a nice color!!! : D Kind of like my friend's blood!" She seems to have trouble staying on one topic at the moment.

"Now I wonder what the NOISE is hmm hmmm hmmmmmmmm sounds unhappy <.<"

[Pootporri]

$$ Uhh, holdon a fuckin' sec. $$

Selvi attempts to eject the drink from her CARDSTACK modus. 5 random cards are pulled, and shuffled. She picks one at random.

...A stolen shoe ejects across the room, hitting a wall.

$$ Well, fuck. $$

She then sees Rhys hit the deck. She increasingly gets more worried.

[Rai-CH]

Abioye grins at Krsnik, glad to be included in this highblood congregation.
"How hav£ you b££n, Kr$nik? W£ didn't r£ally g£t tim£ to chat b£for£. And who i$ your fri£nd? I b£li£v£ w£ hav£n't b££n introduc£d y£t."

[Masterweaver]

And then Selvi's fetch modus explodes in a wave of booze and who knows WHAT ELSE. Apparently, captchaloguing one of Metty's concoctions has serious consequences...

Waiterbot 83 pulls out a fire extinguisher and heroically begins spraying Selvi down.

[potatato]

Dorgaea goes forward posture perfect.
Ii aam Coolooneel Doorgaaeeaa Maarst, pleeaasuuree too meeeet yoouu.

[doesnotBelong]

Skorpa smiles, gesturing to the seat beside her.

Come on sit down. Have you ever had a friend before? Or a Matesprit? I never get to talk much about love to anyone and really it's my favorite topic.

[Monster X]

Annika stares in amazement at the stuff covering her after the explosion. "That was PRETTY : D... kind of like your shirt and hat... Have you EVER considered a SCARF? : D"

Quite oblivious to the stuff covering her's effects, she starts staring at the color again. She likes green for some reason. Better than stupid old blue anyway.

[MostlyHarmless]

And then Selvi's fetch modus explodes in a wave of booze and who knows WHAT ELSE. Apparently, captchaloguing one of Metty's concoctions has serious consequences...

((Are we talking Spanish Krsnik consequences here?))

[Rai-CH]

Abioye offers his hand to Dorgaea, expecting him to shake it.
"My nam£ i$ Abioy£ K£r$£y. It i$ a pl£a$ur£ to m££t you too, Colon£l Dorga£a Mar$t. How£v£r I am v£ry curiou$, why ar£ you in that cardboard box?"

[Masterweaver]

Leanii smiles, opens her mouth.... and is klonked by a random object from the modus explosion. She's sent flying over the bar.

((Spanish Krsnik is the least of our worries, but he might be cool to have.))

[Pootporri]

And then Selvi's fetch modus explodes in a wave of booze and who knows WHAT ELSE. Apparently, captchaloguing one of Metty's concoctions has serious consequences...

Waiterbot 83 pulls out a fire extinguisher and heroically begins spraying Selvi down.

And then suddenly explosions everywhere. A bunch of ANTIQUE COINS fly out, some HAIRSPRAY, HAIRDYE, a bottle of MOUNTAIN DROOG, some SHOPLIFTED HATS AND DO-RAGS. As well as an ENTIRE FUCKING COUCH.
$$ GLFGFH FUCK. $$

She falls to the floor and frantically FREAKS THE FUCK OUT as she's sprayed with extinguisher shit.

$$ GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME BEFORE I POUND YOUR PITIFUL ROBOT CARCASS DOWN. $$

[potatato]

Dorgaea firmly grabs and shakes his hand.
Weell, Ii seet iit oouut heeree foor wriiggleers too plaay iin aand iit looookeed kiind oof fuun...

He looks on another side that says "GNAARLY" on it.

[doesnotBelong]

Skorpa gasps and jumps over the bar, checking on Leanii. She hopes Leanii isn't hurt to bad, she'd just met her! She speaks in a voice that it actually above a whisper.


Oh my gog, are you okay?!

[Masterweaver]

"I AM Z[]|-\|-\Y MIZZ." Waiterbot 83 retreats.

[Monster X]

Annika suddenly catches sight of the flying objects. "NOOOO!!! D :" She leaps for the HAIRSPRAY, DYE, and MOUNTAIN DROOG, catching them in one of her scarves. She proceeds to clonk her head on a table and fall to the ground dizzy, but the items remain safely on top of her.

The ANTIQUE COINS manage to hit Jezron on the head and fall to the floor just in time for him to turn and be greeted by the ENTIRE FUCKING COUCH, which knocks him out.

One of the SHOPLIFTED HATS lands on his face.