AdultStuck TOPIC II (The Last Update Of The Topic)

[JordanTH]

Droog - Calmly let your boss suffer for a few more seconds before 'encouraging' the bird to let him go.

This then

> DD : Threaten to damage its hat, unless it lets your leader go.

This

[The Long Man]

>Droog: Attempt to trade with Sir Featherbutt the third, his hat for your boss.

[karmicOnion]

Dapper Swan: Realize that all this biting isn't getting you anywhere. Diplomacy is your only option!

[ArmsAreLoud]

Dapper Swan: Speak in the language of your people.

DD: Be able to understand it.

SS: Be pissed that you can't understand it.

[Godfrey]

>Droog - Calmly let your boss suffer for a few more seconds before 'encouraging' the bird to let him go.

You dust the hat off. Repeatedly. For several minutes as Jack screams and thrashes about. The boss can handle it. ...Especially after that vision THE KID told you about. You will have to deal with it later. You've got...plans.


> DD : Threaten to damage its hat, unless it lets your leader go.

That might work, but you would hate to have to damage such an excellent hat. No, you'll try a different route.

>Droog: Place hat on the ATTACKING PREDATOR DEATHBIRD OF CLASS.

You calmly approach the violent scene and, at just the right moment, carefully place the TOP HAT on the head of the DAPPER SWAN.

He continues to shake around your boss for a few moments, before his eyes widen and he stops. They slowly roll upwards, blinking, attempting to see the hat.

You take out a handy SMALL MIRROR and show it to him.

He is briefly confused by his reflection, believing it to be another bird. However he does eventually figure out that that's probably him and that the hat is in fact on his head. He lets go of your boss, who falls on his ass. He groans and rubs his new facial scars.

>Dapper Swan: Speak in the language of your people.

>DD : Be able to understand it.

>SS: Be pissed that you can't understand it.

??: Squawk.

You're very welcome, you reply.


??: Cooo, coooo?

No, that's perfectly all right. He'll get over it.

??: Caw.

You laugh. Yeah, he's definitely right about Slick.

Speaking of, Slick demands to know what the you're doing. You reply that you are simply conversing with him in his native language. Slick calls bullshit. You reply that it makes perfect sense if you just pay attention. Besides, you're pretty sure he can't speak the same language as yo-

??: Pardon me, but I can. I just prefer not to give such uncouth ruffians the pleasure of intelligent discourse. Not that they'd even begin to understand it. Caw.

You and Slick stare at the now talking bird, mouth agape.

Well, this was completely shocking and unexpected.

(in addition to commands for the bird, I am now accepting possible names. And perhaps "chat handles" and chat colors. Even though he doesn't know what those are yet.)

[Turrnip]

>Dapper Swan: Discuss why you were so rudely captured by these uncouth carapeople.

[The NL Penguin]

Bird: Be named either BirdBrain Or featherButt. Fail to realise how stupid they[ the names] are, and consider them very dignified.

dapperSwan for chat handle. Even though the birds look more like griffins.

[The Long Man]

>Bird:be named Winfrey Bedlam the second
>Winfrey: Continue the conversation.

[AchillesAndTortoise]

Huh. Without knowing much about him, it's hard to get a good handle.

Whatever. How about wingedAvenger? Or classyOrnithoform? (suddenly I really like the word ornithoform, which I just made up)

And name: Cawcawsquaak. No wait thats stupid.

>??: Demand some bird feed, and possibly some water. How long have they kept you in there?

>DD: Agree, in exchange for information about the bird people.

[Godfrey]

Huh. Without knowing much about him, it's hard to get a good handle.

It's not important to name him yet, I am simply going ahead and taking suggestions from here until I have him say his name to someone.

[Ruki]

> Bird: Open trade relations with the strange carapaced idiots.

> Droog: Squawk like a bird and do a little dance.

For a chathandle, I like dapperSwan.

For a name, how about...DERPY WINGS

...

Too much MLP...

[medmedina007]

>Dapper Swan:Be Professor Albert Thompson the third. YOU HAVE TENURE, Caw.
>Dapper Swan: Commence pruning, you are the best bird in the room. Caw.
>Droog: Have tea with this gentleman, his cup hugely laced with truth serum and tranquilizers. Inquire upon his fascinating spacial abilities, not that they look deliciously exploitable or anything.
>Droog/DS: Boot up the DIGNIFIED GENTLEMEN AND THIER PIQUANT DISCUSSIONOMETER.
>Slick: This is too silly and irritating. Fuck this guy, you'd rather talk to the other prisoner.

[Triggs]

Dapper Swan: Squawk like an imbecile and shit in your cage.

[karmicOnion]

Dapper swan: Be named Cygnus Atratus.
Chumhandle: be dapperSwan

[Steel Dragon]

Bird: Be named either BirdBrain Or featherButt. Fail to realise how stupid they[ the names] are, and consider them very dignified.

dapperSwan for chat handle. Even though the birds look more like griffins.

seconding even though I fon't like seconding

[Godfrey]

>Dapper Swan: Discuss why you were so rudely captured by these uncouth carapeople.

You were captured because you were on a diplomatic mission!

In fact, you are one of the FOREMOST DIPLOMATS for the MIGHTY AVIAN EMPIRE, which stretches across much of GALLIFREY. You are, for the most part, a peaceful people, as far as other sentient races are concerned. At least you were, until the TROUBLES started. The day the GODS and their CHILDREN finally showed up, or at least the day you found them and tried to make contact.

It was supposed to be a wondrous, religious occasion. It was long prophesized by the SHAMANS of the LAND-DWELLERS, and though some of your people do not believe you yourself awaited this day eagerly. And then the meteor came, the explosion heard for miles...That was the SIGN.

Scouts were sent to the IMPACT SITE, watching over and studying the area for years, watching as buildings appeared and a community was formed. It grew and grew, and you all watched patiently, waiting for years...

Until one day, it was determined that they were ready. You formed a group of soldiers, scientists, and fellow diplomats and flew to the "CITY". It was all going so well until you flew over one particular house...That's when the DESTROYER revealed himself.

You all went into a panic as bullets flew through the air, scrambling in an attempt to escape. Some of your fellows tried to attack instead. Either way, it was all for naught...Your entire group save for yourself was slaughtered. All future attempts at contact have suffered the same fate.

You recently discovered word of ANOTHER species popping up, and you came here to check it out. Unfortunately, it's gone only slightly better, by which you mean they haven't shot at you yet. And that stupid, stupid LAND-DWELLER you met coming into town around the same time got you captured. What an idiot.

(There should be another update later tonight, I just have to go somewhere for a few hours shortly.)

[Rinoka]

(We love you gog)

[Godfrey]

>Dapper Swan: Squawk like an imbecile and shit in your cage.

From a technical standpoint you have already done both a few hours ago. Being a bird, you really don't care where you shit.

Thank god for newspapers.

>Dapper Swan: Commence pruning, you are the best bird in the room. Caw.

Already did that too! In fact, you've pruned at least once every hour since you were locked up. You must keep looking your best, even when captured.

>Droog: Have tea with this gentleman, his cup hugely laced with truth serum and tranquilizers.

Sensing that further torture would get you nowhere, you produce a cup of (heavily drugged) tea. You apologize for the behavior of your gang thus far, and offer him the tea and some more intellectually inclined conversation.

The bird takes the bate, taking the cup in one foot and sipping from it in a, uh, dignified manner.

>Droog/DS: Boot up the DIGNIFIED GENTLEMEN AND THIER PIQUANT DISCUSSIONOMETER.

Excellent. Soon he willed be incredibly, incredibly high and you'll be able to ask him whatever you want. This is much better than pounding him to death.

>Slick: This is too silly and irritating. Fuck this guy, you'd rather talk to the other prisoner.

You sigh and roll your eyes, turning around and exiting the room. Fuck this. Boring as shit. You decide to head for the other prisoner's room, partly to entertain yourself, and partly not to reveal plot elements before the author is ready.

The other prisoner's room is presently very dark, with the light turned off in an attempted to creep out the prisoner even more. He...she?...It sits in a chair in the center of the room, quite tied up.

You approach, taking out your knife for maximum threat. You approach the captive, reaching forward and grabbing their chin, lifting it to look at you. You press the knife to their throat.

Now, you're gonna tell me where you came fr-

Your inquisition is interrupted by the captive licking your face.

??: WOOF WOOF!





Bastet: Nod Off ==>

You open your eyes and look around...

You no longer appear to be in the jail cell. In fact, you don't really appear to be anywhere at all. The room is completely black, except for the stone floor, which seems to go on for miles.


In the center of the room a girl sits, curled up. She appears to be a troll, with long horns and black hair. She's wearing some sort of suit.

She appears to be sobbing uncontrollably and muttering to herself in a terrified fashion. More disturbingly, she also looks very familiar...

What will you do?

[Triangle Man]

Bastet - Why don't you go and comfort her? I mean, nothing could possibly go wrong with that, right?

[Lubiniki]

>Bastet: Talk with creepingFate. Absolutely nothing wrong can go if you do!

[ascendantServitor]

Pouncegreet the troll girl.

[GenetiXientist]

>Bastet: Realize that you're reminiscing about your childhood.

>Bastet: Repress memories so that The Great Godfrey can shift perspective to either cT or fE.

[The Long Man]

>Bastet: You comfort that weeping troll kid, YOU COMFORT IT RIGHT NOW YOUNG LADY

[Nexev]

AP=> Your romsenses are tingling like crazy, SOMEONE IS SHIPPING YOUR CLOWN GIRLFRIEND WITH THE NOTSOSPIDERTROLL THIS SHIT CAN'T GO DOWN

[Godfrey]

Pouncegreet the troll girl.

That seems like an extraordinarily bad idea. Although you have a disturbing feeling that you've done this before at some point...

>Bastet: Talk with creepingFate. Absolutely nothing wrong can go if you do!

You approach the sobbing girl, carefully. You suspect she's the same one that attacked you last night, but you aren't completely sure. She also seems a little familiar in other ways...


FA: Er.
FA: Are you all right?
CF: d0n't make me g0 back!
FA: Er?
FA: Excuse me?
CF: i d0n't want t0 g0 back! i d0n't like Him!
FA: Uh.
FA: What?
CF: n0 n0 n0 n0 n0 n0 n0 n0 n0!
CF: i w0n't d0 it!
CF: i can't d0 it!
FA: Calm down! What's going on? What's happening? I don't understand what you're talking abo-
CF: can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me!
FA: Uh...
CF: can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me! can't fall asleep He will eat me!
FA: Who are you talking about?


>Bastet: You comfort that weeping troll kid, YOU COMFORT IT RIGHT NOW YOUNG LADY

creepingFate continues to sob uncontrollably. You reach down, attempting to touch her...

FA: There, there. It's all right. No one is going to-

CF's head suddenly snaps upward, a shocked and upset look on her face. There are purple tears in her eyes, smearing her makeup. She looks at you in horror.

CF: y0u...y0u can't be here...n0...
CF: n0!
CF: i fell the fuck asleep!
FA: Calm down!
CF: SHUT UP
CF: SHUT THE FUCK UP M0THERFUCKER!
CF: i'm scared!


CF's entire body is shaking and sweating, and she tries to crawl away from you. Her head shoots back and forth, as if expecting something that she's REALLY afraid of. She continues to sob and cry.

AP=> Your romsenses are tingling like crazy, SOMEONE IS SHIPPING YOUR CLOWN GIRLFRIEND WITH THE NOTSOSPIDERTROLL THIS SHIT CAN'T GO DOWN

You sense a presence. You turn to the side and see AP watching CF with a horrified look on his face.

FA: AP?
FA: What are you doing here?
AP: i HAVE NO IDEA.
AP: i DIDN'T FALL ASLEEP, DID I?
FA: I...guess we both must have.
AP: oH.
AP: fUCK.