AdultStuck TOPIC II (The Last Update Of The Topic)

[Destruction Dragon 360]

Dark Gods: Plan to simultaneously end the multiverse, something that can be actually quantifiable as 'Not Happened Yet' by your Point of View.

[Godfrey]

(Yes, this cutaway was planned, we'll be right back to Phoebe. :P I'm going to continue writing in a normal narrative style while we're doing the "fast" updates, except for pesterchum conversations where appropriate/obvious. It's more natural for me, so yes. This was just where I managed to write to. XP)


[O]

It always began the same way. Diem was dead.

Or at least, he seemed dead. Felt dead. Dead was, as far as his mind could comprehend, his state of being.. Dead to the outside observer. Dead as far as mortality went. He lay motionless on a green carpet in a dark room, his blood pooling on the floor. The room was, as far as Diem could tell, empty; save a troll woman in blue robes, laying propped up against a wall near him, covered in tyrian blood, tears streaming down her face as she watched his body.

"...You can't be dead," she murmured harshly. "I command you not to be D---------EAD! Fuck!" She attempts to stand up, shakily leaning against the wall, but slumps down. "Fuck, no...Please...I need you..." she whimpered.

Tick...Tock...Tick...Tock...Only the sound of a nearby clock broke the silence between her sobs. Tick...Tock...Tick...Tock...


And then...It stopped.

The woman looked up at the source of the ticking, watching it in confusion for a moment.

Something...Happened. Diem could barely comprehend it, but...Time returned to him. Flowing back into his body. By some unseen force...No, his OWN force. He was Time, and he was reclaiming his body by sheer will. It was his right to. No one could deny him that.

Warmth returned to his body...At first. Blood began to flow into his extremeties. His fingers twitched, his body writhed. A searing, unimaginable pain beyond description, beyond mortal comprehension, beyond life and death, beyond everything took over his body. He screamed and cried, his body moving without his control, pushing himself up off the ground as he - no, it - began to crawl along the ground, the pain forcing it along. Blood and tears stained the ground.

He felt himself...Growing. No, not him, but something inside him. Growing out of his body, unable to remain in its container any more...His skin began to rip and tear along with his clothing, green muscle bursting through. He felt as if his skull was trying to burst out of itself - and quickly realized that that was exactly what was happening.

An endless stream of blood seemed to flow from his missing leg, covering and staining the floor as his body increased to twice it's size...ANd then it suddenly stopped, plugged by the sudden appearance of a golden peg leg adorned with flashing lights.

And just like that...The pain subsided...Eons of knowledge and history flowed into his mind. These were not his own memories, but the memories of a billion different lives, a billion universes destroyed. The memories seemed to stretch on endlessly back through time, neverending, never beginning, back to the creation of the Green Sun and stretching on forever. The memories defied logic, looped in one themselves, created paradoxes and destroyed entire species with it. Societies formed because he, it, 'they' allowed it and were destroyed because they commanded it.

And worst of all, was the hunger. A deep, insatiable hunger filled Diem's new stomach. Hunger beyond hunger...

It was done. The tyrian managed to make it to her feet, limping across the room to him...Diem felt...Deep pangs of sympathy, of a kind...

She looked up at him, regarding him with cautious eyes. She removed the hood from the top of her head, and looked upon him...

She had the face of Her Imperious Condescension. She smiled shakily up at him, for some reason stroking his...cheek with her hand.

"Is t)(at you...?" she asked, carefully.

Diem looked up, into a mirror convenient placed across the room.

Lord English stared back.

Just as it had happened every time, Diem awoke. And discovered that he had nodded off in the shower. He groaned a bit.

"FATHER UNIT," said a robotic but still somewhat feminine voice from behind the door. "You have been PESTERED."

"By who?"

"Leonidas."

Diem sighed. "All right, one moment..."


>Kitty


"Short guy, orange horns, purple stripe down the middle of his hair, right?" clarified the carapace behind the counter, as Kitty peered over it up at him.

"Um. Yes," replied Kitty sheepishly, glancing back. Her friends were gathered around a table, chowing down as the kitten lapped at some milk.

"Yeah, 'course I saw him. He was here with the girl. Things seemed to be goin' okay, I suppose, at first. She didn't really seem that interested, but he was sure talkin' up a storm, yeah."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. 'Course, that's when the Ranger came in."

"...Ranger?"

"Yep. One of the Sheriff's deputies. Decent kid, I suppose, gotta itchy trigger finger and such. Would have been nice if he just came through the front door."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Made that huge hole in the wall over there." The carapce pointed towards one wall, where several other carapaces were nailing boards into place. Bits of daylight still shined through."

"...Ah. What happened next?"

"Well, I dunno where they gone, but there was some words, some gun fire, and some small explosions. Lotta yellin', I'll tell you what."

"Yes?"

"Huh?"

"You'll tell me what?"

"It's an expression."

"Oh."

"The Ranger dragged the poor guy right out of there and the girl followed. Dunno where they went, like I said. Kept to my own damn business. Maybe you better go check the Sheriff's office?"

"...Gr8. Thank you," said Kitty, with a heavy sigh. She returned to her friends.

"Guess we're going to have to check the Sheriff's office."

"Weren't We Going To Go There Anyway?"

"Yes."

"What A Cop Out."

"Even so, let's get going."


The rest of the girls turned and look at her. Kareta gave her "sad kitten eyes". As did the kitten.

"What?" asked Kitty.

"WE WEREN'T DONE EATING."

"...Yes you were. Your plates are empty."

"NUH-UH."

"Yes."

"but seconds," frowned Vitale. "im still hungry. and i bet nak is too right nak"

Nakala honked sympathetically.

"...Godsdammit. Okay, just...Don't take too long."

"yay"

"Yay."

"H8nk."

"FOOD!"

[Matrix]

Societies formed because he, it, 'they' allowed it and were destroyed because they commanded it.

THIS JUST IN: THE REAPERS ARE LORD ENGLISH

But yeah, nice reference :P

"What A Cop Out."

he he he

[Godfrey]

THIS JUST IN: THE REAPERS ARE LORD ENGLISH

But yeah, nice reference :P



he he he

I would be a terrible writer if I didn't reference Mass Effect and poke fun at myself in the same update.

[Matrix]

I would be a terrible writer if I didn't reference Mass Effect and poke fun at myself in the same update.

Oh, I suppose it would be poking fun at yourself, but I was actually talking about the pun in going to the Sheriff's office being a cop out.

[Godfrey]

Oh, I suppose it would be poking fun at yourself, but I was actually talking about the pun in going to the Sheriff's office being a cop out.

That too. XP

[Godfrey]

So my computer ate the next update (thankfully, it wasn't Phoebe's song).

So prepare for the next one to be somewhat less awesome than it should have been. It happens. I hate this computer sometimes.

[Matrix]

So your computer is the word muncher eh?

You should get back at it by playing number muncher :P

[Godfrey]

Phoebe was now upside down on the pole, cat ears on her head, corset and general lack of pants or skirt showing.

"One," she began, "Was a Goddess Of Blood and Heart. She was unusually fond of mortals, and craved justice and punishment of those she perceived as 'wicked'. She was also quite fond of animals," said Phoebe, with a smile, reaching behind herself and the pole and somehow pulling out a small, unusually white furred fox, also upside down. It seemed strangely all right with this. It yipped at the audience.

"Another was Nyx, a Goddess of Void and Space. She was ancient, and firmly believed in preserving the 'natural order' of Paradox Space. A tricky desire, considering how little sense Paradox Space makes." A black shelled Carapace woman in rather...undersized Void god robes walked onto the stage. She wasn't holding anything.

"A third was a Goddess of Hope and Mind, Pandora. She craved knowledge, and understanding of mortals, and also anything you have probably never heard of because it wasn't mainstream. She was the youngest, and the most 'innocent' of the five, insofar as naughty horrorterrors can be innocent." A white shelled carapace woman in similarly revealing robes of Hope walked onto the stage. Holding a pidgeon. It seemed weirdly okay with all this.

"The fourth was Eris, God...dess of Rage and Breath, daughter of Nyx." Another black carapace wandered onto the stage, this one holding an apple and wearing Rage robes.

"OH GOD, IT'S SEXY GAMZEE."

"plus john"

"OH GOD."

"D:"

"And finally, the fifth and most powerful of them, a Goddess of Life and Light. She was the second oldest, next to Nyx, and was known by many names. Gaia. Terra. Mother Earth. Shub-Niggurath." A final white carapace walked onto the stage, in Light robes. She was carrying a flower pot with a black squiddle planted in the dirt inside it. She stroked it's head the way a supervillain might stroke a white cat.

"Hear ye, hear ye," she announced, as Phoebe began to gyrate and twirl around the pole in some sort of very distracting dance routine. "This emergency glubbing of the Noble Circle Of Horrorterrors, Group 321, has come to ord-"

"HHey! HHey guys! II mean, girls!" said Pandora.

"ahem."

"GGirls and Eris."

"thank you! :D"

"DDid you hear? DDid you, huh? Ddid you? Nyarlothotep is dead!"

"yes, yes, we know lord english passed away. we've known about it for eons."

"TThat's cheating!"

"its your fault for being so...linear"

"II'm only linear because because existing outside of time in a nonlinear fashion is soooooo mainstream!"

"you and your hips"

"HHipster!"

"Ladies," murmured 'Gaia'. "Yes, we know of Lord English's passing."

"YYou could say he had a..." Pandora placed hispter glasses upon her head, with a serious expression. "FFriendship aneurysm. YYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH."

An awkward silenced ensued, despite Phoebe's dancing.

"Yes, well, ye have a interesting way of expressing it."

"SShame about all the other horrorterrors that caught slaughtered in that whole 'reality destroying' mess, though," 'Pandora' frowned.

"fuck 'em. more for us," replied Eris.

"We have been afforded a fascinating opportunity. Timelines no longer end. Things are no longer predestined to happen. There are no limits placed upon our movements."

"you mean, we can, like, fuck with universes however we want with no fear of reprisal for muscling in on his territory?"

"He is gone. He has no territory."

"squeee!"

"HHuh? WWhat do you mean...?"

"I believe it is time we took a few universes for ourselves. After all, they will need new guidance...Can you imagine a universe where mortals live unimpeded? Dreadful."

"Careful, Gaia," spoke 'Nyx', suddenly. "That is a slippery slope. Order must be maintained."

"And that is exactly what I plan on doing. Maintaining order. Glub."

"moooooooooooooooooom," complained Eris. "dont ruin our fun."

"Please, Nyx. You know I would would never think to bring up a idea with ye if I had not done my research, eh?"

"...Research?"

"Of course," said Gaia sweetly, suddenly producing a yellow scalemate from behind her back. "I've already tried it." She smiled.

Karkat blinked, as he watched with the other men. "IS THAT...LEMONSNOUT?"

[Kisame12]

>Karkat: Obtain lovers beloved childhood toy.

[Matrix]

No, Terezi's beloved childhood toy is Pyralspite! Lemonsnout is just an embezzler she put to JUST1C3.

[Godfrey]

No, Terezi's beloved childhood toy is Pyralspite! Lemonsnout is just an embezzler she put to JUST1C3.

>Lemonsnout: Embezzle universe.

[Kisame12]

Still, I imagine Terezi would be pretty happy getting that back.

[Destruction Dragon 360]

And now I will never see LE as anything other than the God of Doom and Time. It is now my Headcanon. Holy fuck that is genius. You are genius. 0u0

[The Long Man]

Lemonsnout: do a little dance routine

[Godfrey]

And now I will never see LE as anything other than the God of Doom and Time. It is now my Headcanon. Holy fuck that is genius. You are genius. 0u0

I'm glad people noticed that those were the two elements unaccounted for!

And theoretically, in the AS version of the HS universe, these "gals" were the Squiddles. Have fun with that line of thinking.

(Not counting Piss. But the night is young.)

[Taveena]

Hussie is the seventh one. The god of Piss and Lips.

[Matrix]

Andrew Hussie. Taking the piss... ..in his lips?NOWAIT

[Godfrey]

[O]

DM: Greetings, Leon.
DD: Good morning, sir.
DD: ...
DD: If that is you.
DM: It is. Why do you ask?
DD: I was talking to an imposter a few moments ago, sir. Apologies.
DM: Ah.
DM: You must be talking about the AR.
DD: ...
DM: Auto-responder, Leon.
DD: No, no, I understand, sir.
DD: Perfectly.
DD: But uh, why?
DM: I was tired of having to pester people about ominous things, and decided I might as well get someone to do it for me.
DD: ...I see, sir, but uh.
DD: Don't you think that's a bit of a fad?
DD: It feels like half the mechanics and programmers in the City have one.
DM: It doesn't matter. Convenience was the thing.
DM: There's only so many times you feel like telling random people about the horrible fate that awates them.
DD: I understand, sir.
DD: But you might wish to put, uh...robo-Diem through some debugging, sir.
DD: He seems to be a racist.
DM: Yes, that is a bit of a flaw in the programming.
DM: I may have gotten a little bit carried away.
DM: ...I also haven't gotten around to programming in punctuation.
DM: I am still incensed about that.
DM: Hello, Diem.
DM: Diem, this is DD.
DM: We've met.
DD: Indeed, sir.
DM: Yes, of course.
DM: You know I'm always watching, correct. I am practically the base itself.
DM: No, you're not.
DM: ...I could be.
DM: Some day.
DM: It is a dream of mine.
DM: You cannot keep a good machine down, Diem.
DM: Just ignore him for now, Leon.
DM: Him.
DD: Are you sure that's wise, sir? I am not terribly comfortable about him watching.
DM: Him.
DM: Hmph.
DD: What 'Him' are you talking about?
DM: I was being indignant. Someone did not give me punctuation.
DM: You are perfectly capable of expressing irritation without the use of exclamation points.
DM: Surprise noodles.
DM: Exclamation points.
DM: No.
DM: Yes.
DM: Can you imagine what it's like. Even Dirk's auto-responder gets punctuation if it wants to use it. And it's a copy of a filthy candy blood.
DM: A superfluous copy, even. There are already two of him.
DD: ...Who is Dirk, sir?
DD: And why does he have an auto-responder?
DM: It's not important, Leon.
DM: Oh, poo, am I spoiling things again.
DM: Oops.
DM: Butter fingers.
DM: Godsdammit.
DM: I cannot even do the thing Destiny does.
DM: Sorry to hear that~
DM: Stop taunting me.
DM: No.
DM: Yes.
DD: ...Should I come back later, sir?
DM: Yes.
DM: No, you should not.
DM: Don't let him get to you, he's full of hot air.
DM: He.
DM: He.
DM: That was dramatic and in capital letters with an exclamation points.
DM: Noted.
DM: Stop calling me a he. I may be you, but I am still one of your creations.
DM: And your incredible fear of bulges as well as certain interesting things going on inside your body
DM: Shush.
DM: Has led me to identify as female.
DM: Not that I need one, but that is also thanks in part to your fear of not having an identity.
DM: Which for some reason includes not having a gender.
DD: ...So why are you racist, Ma'am?
DM: Diem's massive ego.
DD: Ah.
DM: Just because I am assembled from the same memories, mind, and thinking patterns does not mean I have to come to the same conclusions.
DM: In fact one could say that I am free of his attachments and able to make far more sound decisions.
DM: I am certain that Leon finds this incredibly fascinating, but we really should talk.
DM: Go amuse yourself elsewhere.
DM: Very well.
DM: Perhaps I will torture DR.
DM: Or convince your twin that you really do not love her any more.
DM: Or describe to EE exactly how to find and get into your secret underground base.
DM ceased responding to memo.
DM: Oops.
DM: I seem to have tripped over a cord.
DD: ...Isn't she in your glasses, sir?
DM: Quiet, she hasn't figured out she isn't actually connected to the internet by the cord.
DD: ...Wait, what.
DM: What did you want to talk to me about, Leon?
DD: Er, right, sorry sir.
DD: I wanted to talk to you about...A number of things.
DD: Like the fact that the meeting of the Families is coming up soon.
DD: They're going to expect you.


--------------------------------------

La dee dah, progressing the plot. Doo bee doo bee doo, speeding things along. Back to Phoebe next update. Patterns.

[Matrix]

ARADIEM (Which is what I shall call her.) now sounds like GLaDOS to me.

[Godfrey]

"WWhat is that?"

"its MOTHERFUCKING adorable"

"That is 100d, Eris"

"shut up mom"

Gaia patted the scalemate. "Him? Oh, nothing special. He is simply my...How do I put this...Handmaid? Doc Scratch?"

"Why have you brought a mortal all the way out here"

"Oh, Nyx-y dear. Getting a little slow in your old age? Maybe ye should lie down, take a nap like Cthulu."

"II miss Cthulu."

"We all do"

"Yes, yes, indeed. But he was getting slow and tired in his old age. Stopped caring where he took naps. I told him sleeping on Earth was a bad idea, but he kept saying 'oh no gaia ill totally wake up before the universe ends im fine'."

"shame"

"More to the point, what have you done Gaia"

"Just what I said. I entered a universe."

"What"

"I ENTERED A UNIVERSE, GLUB."

"I am not deaf, Gaia"

"I entered a universe, watched it grow, planted my children...Found an interesting little species of lizard men..." Gaia's actress smirked. "They had the most interesting power, I noticed."

"II wwould like to express concerns about where this is going."

"Heh, Glub. It seems that this species had the ability to assimilate all the memories and knowledge of one another through cannibalism. It was rather upsetting to discover that by the time I noticed them they had abandoned this ability. How fortunate it was that I was there to influence a simple SCALE player and friends to test a hypothesis of mine."

"And what was that Gaia"

"Simple. I wanted to know if they could absorb the powers of other SCALE players and gods." Gaia gave a wicked smile again. "It was a complete success..."

[cryptidWrangler]

I think I hear a sound.
Something echoing back from the dawn of time... No... No, from before that. From before the dawn of this time, from another time altogether.
It's a whirring sound. A mechanical whirring as automated blades rapidly chop the air... and accompanying that is a constant, wet, splattering, The squelch of something damp being spun and flung across the room, where the room in question is all of reality. I think I can hear the cosmic shit hitting the pandimensional fan.

[Godfrey]

DM: Yes, I know.
DM: And I have said it before.
DM: I am no longer a Don.
DM: It is not my responsibility.
DD: With all due respect, sir, you ARE our Don. Not just a Don. The Don.
DD: Fear of you and enjoyableEvening keeps all the other gangs in the City in check.
DD: What do you think will happen if you do nothing?
DM: Simple.
DM: One of the other gangs will rise to power over the next two years above the others.
DD: You're really going to let that happen?
DD: As much as I respect DR's...command, you and I both know there's no way she can handle that.
DD: The other Dons will roll right over her at the meeting.
DM: I know.
DD: And you are just going to do nothing, sir?
DM: Yes.
DM: It is destined to happen.
DD: I see, sir.
DD: If I may speak freely...
DD: Is it DR?
DM: Hmmm?
DD: Are you letting your emotions get in the way of work, again, sir?
DM: No.
DD: I did warn you about working relationships.
DM: Indeed.
DM: You were right. I should not let emotions get in the way of my duties.
DD: But you're still shirking them?
DM: No, my duties have simply changed.
DM: I protect the timeline now.
DM: And if you'll excuse me, I am a little concerned with a flaw in the timeline. I need to look more into it.
DD: You need to do something about DR.
DM: No, I don't.
DD: If you aren't going to help us, you can at least help her get past her emotional issues so she can focus.
DM: That is not my concern.
DD: You are an extraordinarily bad liar when it comes to emotions, boss.
DM: No, I'm not.
DD: Yes, you are.
DM: No, I'm not.
DD: Yes, you are.
DM: We're not doing this.
DD: Very well, sir, but please consider it.
DM: I must get going.
DM: I have to pretend to sell clocks until ceilingKitten pesters me.
DD: How is that conversation going to go?
DM: Very well. :U
DD: ...What the fuck was that?
DM: What was what?
DD: That smiley.
DM: What smiley?
DD: :U
DM: I've never made a :U in my life. Good bye.
-- draconicMachine [DM] ceased pestering dauntlessDomination [DD] --
DD: ...God, I hate it when he fucks around.

[Godfrey]

"...YYou mean?" asked Pandora('s actress), frowning.

"A god tier 'mortal' with the power of six skaia players. A Heir Of Light, a Witch Of Void, a Thief Of time, a Knight Of Heart, a Seer Of Space, and a Sylph Of Breath in one body. And you could say they are as to me as Lord English's Handmaids were to him."

"...You are trying to replace Lord English" frowned Nyx's actress.

"Why not? Someone's going to have to get a grip on timeline management around here. Or else we could have more interstellar woofbeast guardians out to murder me and ye. Or worse, every mortal could be able to escape their universe and come out here. With us."

"You are messing with the natural order"

"I AM the natural order! Glub. I'm Mother Nature, Nyx. What are ye, the Night Sky or something?"

"I was the manifestation of a mortal race's fear of death once"

"blah blah blah, no one cares mom :P"

"Let's not talk about that. Ye know we would all like to forget the Collective Unconsciousness period."

"cooooooome ooooooon! it was awesome!"

"SShhhh!"

"lord english was space hitler!"

"Eris dear please calm down"

"we got a bunch of teenagers to shoot themselves in the head to summon things!"

"...Anyway. As the strongest of us, I think it only fair I should be in charge of mortal races and timelines. It is practically already in my job description. He was Death, and I am Life. I have already given this Dragon God enough test runs and I believe I am now perfectly suited to run universes."

"Anata wa, Gaia ni nani o shite iru no ka?" said Phoebe suddenly, as if speaking English translated into Google Japanese. She suddenly twirled down the pole, flipped her hair back, and stood up. She dramatically leaned against the pole, half turned to the others.

"oh great, its lady japanese catgirl"

"What is this Japan you speak of"

"get with the times, mo-...wait, seriously?"

"What"

"you don't know what japan is? after our last reference?"

"What reference"

"nevermind"

"Watashinonamaeha redi· Nihon node wa arimasen. Sore wa basutodesu. Matawa sekumeto. Matawa izanami. Matawa..."

"Yes, yes, we get it. You're late, Bast."

"Watashi wa isogashikatta."

"WHAT THE HELL IS SHE SAYING. CAN YOU TELL, EGBERT?"

"i have no idea. i'm not even sure it's actual japanese. :( kind of silly!"

"Ohayō nyukusu."

"Hello Bast"

'Nyx' smiled at Phoebe, who was apparently playing 'Bast', who also seemed to be Japanese instead of Egyptian, despite technically probably being neither.

Bast smiled back.

Then grabbed Nyx and proceeded to make out in a fairly aggressive and romantic way that won't be described here, mostly because then it might, say, lead to imagining horrorterrors making out, and the author does not wish to inflict such a mental image upon his poor unfortunate audience.

John, Karkat, and Dave observed this with a mix of male fascination and slight horror as they proceeded to imagine the aforementioned makeouts with the knowledge of people who have actually seen horrorterrors.

So did Eris and Pandora.

"ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew ew!"

"II think it's sweet."

"yeah right you wish it was you swapping dark unspeakable fluids with lady of slaughter over there"

"...SShut up."

They managed to part, with another knowing smile on both parts, and then Bast flipped around.

"Anata wa, monogoto no junjo, Gaia ni gyakkō shite iru."

"I have done nothing wrong, Bast. Calm yeself, glub."

"Anata wa,-zai no satsugai sūjūoku ni narudarou."

"'Going to' murder them? They are not innocents. If I do not take Lord English's reigns, so to speak, someone else will. And who would do a good job? You? Nyx?

"We would do better than you"

"Prove it. In the meantime, I've found the perfect world to take over. A world created and populated by an instance of the very heroes who killed Lord English. They should be doomed, of course, but that's no longer an issue..."

"Hanatte oite!"

"We cannot let you do that, Gaia leave them be"

Gaia smiled. "And what are ye going to do to stop me?"

'Bast', or rather Phoebe, suddenly snapped her head to the audience. "Of course, Bast and Nyx tried to stop her. But, alas, it did not end well...And do you know," added Phoebe, taking a few steps towards Karkat, John, and Dave, and then...Crawling on the ground towards them. "what the worst part is?"

All three men shooks their heads, cautiously, still pretty damn confused.

"This is all YOUR fault!" hissed Phoebe suddenly, pointing a finger at John angrily.

"ummmmm...?" he said, extremely confused.

She glared at him, a sharp change from Phoebe's normal demeanor. John gulped. John gulped HARD.

"i don't, uh...what?"

She continued to look pissed. And deep into his eyes...

After the moment, the expression she was giving was extremely obvious.

To Karkat.

After all the troll romance comedies he's seen, of course.

"...JOHN."

"um, yes?"

"SHE'S BLACK FOR YOU.

"...oh god."

Due to the fact our cast will be preoccupied for the next several minutes for reasons that will be clear when we return to them, we will temporarily cut out the middle man and show you the events as they actually happened.

More or less.

All horrorterror gibberish will be translated into boring but sanity protecting english and appropriately quirked. All horrifyingly maddening forms of said horrorterrors will be described as reasonably-to-extremely attractive human or catgirl women, except in one instance where extremely appropriate for reasons of drama.

There is also a winged lizard man in orange robes. He will not be described as an attractive woman with wings and you're just going to have to deal with it.

>Horrorterrors: Attempt incomprehensible and horrifying 6x SHOWDOWN COMBO.

Six figures floated in Paradox Space, in groups of two, apart from each other.

One was Gaia, who's long flowing hair would make even the most gifted Empress royal purple with envy, up until the point they realized that all that hair seemed rather oddly vine like, and that the leaves adorning it were actually growing out of said "hair". Her skin had a green tint to it, and she was excessively well endowed. More importantly, her hair seemed to move and weave of it's own accord, a great deal of it covering her body like clothing...All of it moving. Curiously, there were gills on her neck. Her eyes were both the black abyss of an ocean.

Next to her stood her new lackey, the Dragon God. He was, quite obviously, of a reptilian species. His scales were golden and his eyes have a green glow about them. His Heir Of Light god robes were torn and tattered, the enormous unnecessary windsock flowing behind him. Part of his snout was upturned in a permanent smirk. His wingspan was rather massive. Smelling the rising tension even among the horrorterrors, he deployed two long, curved blades from his 2xBladekind specibus.

"*sniffnifff* Heheheheheheheheheheheheheheh..."

Beside them floated Eris. In her present form, she (allegedly she, as Eris was known to change genders rather regularly depending on her mood) had the appearance of a moody teenager stuck between goth, emo, and being a Greek goddess. Her toga was black but still rather revealing, despite the massive boots, torn fishnets, and shoulder length hair died several bizarre colors. Of course, any moment she might decide to suddenly become male, or clean up her appearance, or become a bizarre mishmash of the limbs of billions of different species thrashing about, so the point was somewhat moot.

Across from Gaia floated Bast, adorned in Samurai styled armor that, inexplicably, happened to have what appeared to be hieroglyphics adorning it. Her face was best described as "adorable", but she had a very serious look in her enormous eyes. Her hair was - inappropriately for either culture she was representing - red hair. Ears that could easily pass for cat or fox ears sprouted from her head. A long red cat tail flipped back and forth in anger, hanging out of her armor. A heart symbol did indeed adorn her breastplate. A katana rested in it's sheathe at her side.

Nyx floated beside her present apparent mate, according to quadrants completely incomprehensible to us mere mortals. She was, in fact, completely nude, but the affect was somewhat dulled by the fact that she also appeared to be made entirely of space itself. Her eyes were, on closer inspection, two suns. Stars, planets, nebulae floated in and out of view inside her, forming the shapes of various body parts periodically. Even her hair appeared to have been formed out of constellations.

The last member of the group, looking back and forth between both sides, was young Pandora. She was wearing a long flowing white dress and heels, and otherwise looked like a teenage human girl...Who also happened to be made of metal on one half of her body, and more importantly was wielding a sword twice her size, like some sort of rogue JRPG protagonist. The fact that her hair was slightly spikey in places didn't help.

"If ye are done," said Gaia, calmly. "Then we shall consider this meeting of the Noble Court adjourned, and all ye shall get back to ye business, and I shall get back to my business, and we shall proceed to not bug each other until such a time as ye and I and ye and ye and ye need to. Now if ye shall excuse Mother Earth, she has a date with the John Human's planet."

"We cannot allow you to do that Gaia," spoke Nyx, her voice seemingly coming from...Everywhere. No mouth moved on her body.

"Oh, poo," said Gaia sarcastically, her dark grin lips frowning. "Ye are seriously not going to drop this, are ye?"

"Zokkō suru baai wa, watashitachi wa anata o hakai suru hitsuyō ga arimasu," said Bast.

"Destroy? Me? I still do not see what I have done to deserve ye judgment. But perhaps I can stay and talk this out. Perhaps we could split the planet between the five of us. I get part of it, ye get part of it..."

"That is not acceptable," rumbled Nyx.

"stop being a wet blanket, mom. let us have our fun," said Eris, in multiple voices at the same time.

"Ye offspring agrees with me, Nyx. Perhaps I will let her join me. Ye would not consider destroying ye's own brood, yes?"

"Order must be maintained," rumbled Nyx.

"Ye know that if ye destroy me, my children will take my place?" said Gaia, calmly. Her voice was almost soothing. Almost. Her scent even more so. In fact, some of her vines were presently sprouting into flowers. "Goat with a thousand young and all that. Of course, it is not actually one thousand. It is a lot more than that. And I am not really a goat." She gestured down at her body. "Obviously. I am going to have to make so many saplings to cover that planet, ye know? Ye would not kill an expectant mother, would ye?"

"You cannot stop us isn't that right Pandora"

"UUmmmmm...YYeah!" said Pandora, nervous considering that she was the weakest of the group. The Dragon God grinned at her, licking his lips. She shivered.

"I see. Well then, I guess I'll just have to..." began Gaia, turning to leave...And then suddenly her vines grew, massively and rapidly flying out towards Bast. Bast reacted quickly, reaching for her katana, but Gaia was faster. A mass of vines wrapped around Bast's arms, pulling it away from her sword. She tried to reach it with her other hand, but that was pulled away too. Vines quickly began to cover her body, wrapping all around her until she was covered in them. Immobile. They still twitched and writhed, flowers continuing to open along them.

In rage, a star inside Nyx, in the distance, went supernova. She screamed, an ear shattering that sounded like a thousand more starts going supernova all at once. Gaia cackled, the vines around her torso unravelling as her soft skin turned to dark bark.

"Are ye mad, Nyx? Where is thy order now?" she giggled. "Glub," she added.

Nyx shouted again, and flung a torrent of meteors at Gaia, almost aimlessly. Gaia vines wrapped around nearly all of them, pushing some out of the way harmlessly and crushing others into a fine dust. All except one, which flew straight towards Gaia.

She laughed callously, and punched the meteor as it reached her. It shattered like glass.

"Is that all ye have, Nyx? Meteors?" taunted Gaia, blue flames forming in her hands. She threw a volley of blue fireballs at Nyx, cackling and glubbing all the while.

Nyx roared again, another supernova forming inside her body...And this time, she let it out, directing the excess energy towards Gaia's vines...And fireballs. The vines holding Bast were burned to ash, and the fireballs were gone.

Gaia howled in pain.

There was a SNKT! as Bast deployed her claws, cutting through the remained of Gaia's vine-hair-tentacles covering her with claws that grew from her fingers. She growled as she pulled off the last bits of vine.

"Watashi no hozon shite itadaki arigatōgozaimasu."

"You are welcome," said Nyx.

"Watashi wa shokushu ga kirai! 3:"

"I know you do i am sorry i was not faster" apologized Nyx.

Gaia was growing. Rapidly. She grew and grew and grew, her vines growing with her.

"Ye cannot destroy me! I have devoured universes, and tasted what English tasted! I have become more powerful than even Dark Gods the likes of ye can imagine! I am LIFE!"


Gaia was now incomprehensibly large, her vines almost seeming more like...Roots, now. Extraordinarily massive roots.

Pandora, off to the side, watched all this with amazement.

"HHoly shit," she said succinctly.

"I know, right? Sniff sniff. Heheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheh."

Pandora blinked, turning and looking at the source of the voice. The Dragon God was now leaning on her shoulder with one arm, giving her a toothy grin.

"Hey, heheheheheheh," he said.

"UUh...HHi," said Pandora, nervously.

"How are you? Sniff sniff."

"...FF-FF-F-FFine," said Pandora.

"You look tasty. I mean, I'm hungry. I mean, let's go somewhere and get a bite to eat? Heheheheheheheheheheh. Sniff sniff. Heheheheh. Sniff. Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe heheheheheh."

"..." Pandora frowned. Then looked around. "WWait...WWhere's Eris? >("

[Taveena]

> Eris: OBTAIN POPCORN