TROLLSLUM CAFE XI: Hearts, Spades, and Enough Booze to Drown a Musclebeast

[Captain Whosit]

(Both #IX and #X lasted only 4 days... seriously, you guys. You are killing me. I'm bleeding here.)

Alright, I would just like to start out with a little message. I would like to remind everyone of the big bolded stuff at the bottom of this post. I know that trolls, and some of the other creatures that have been appearing, can tend to be rather rowdy, but I have become a bit concerned lately that it sometimes gets out of hand. I just want to remind everyone that the intent of the Cafe is to be a place to get some free-form, social RP going. Obviously, some rough-housing will be inevitable, but please avoid using characters who are likely to provoke hostile responses by their very nature. I would like the general emphasis to be on social interaction, rather than anti-social interaction.

I do not want to be a cop, but I do want to make sure that this thread is an inviting place for everyone. So, please, do have a good time, but try not to go overboard. I would like the Cafe to be as inviting to new players as possible.

Every where you go, there's places like this; a comfortable place, dimly lit, with coffee and couches and books on the shelves and free wifi and, I don't know, a soup of the day. After the sun comes up they put up the shutters and sell alcohol. It's homey, unless your homelife involves caves and monsters that eat people, which it probablv does, because you're a troll.

It's a good place to have a seat and a cup of coffee, and make a friend, which in your language is the same word as enemy, because... you're a troll.

((And if you are maybe a human, which is a thing that doesn't exist, in another univere pretending to be a troll, maybe this is a good place to roleplay in a casual, social, variably canon setting or try out a new character. Please don't poke the setting too hard and please don't go on any murderous rampages. Honk.

EDIT: Feel free to NPC service when you order something, I can't watch this all the time or reply to every comment. For that matter feel free to assume your troll works here and fill someone's order if you want.

EDIT2: OKAY GUESS WE NEED SOME RULES AFTER ALL.

This is really intended to be a loose social setting for people to fool around and chat and try new characters. It is a not great place for a big brawl in the middle of the room that everyone pretty much has to react to. If you are playing a character who is inevitably going to try and hurt people and provoke this kind of thing, you should really think long and hard about bringing them in here for that reason. If a fight comes up in the course of RP, please take it ''outside' instead of disrupting the whole room. It being in the thread is fine, but it should be set somewhere where new people or people who don't want to be involved can ignore it, please. ))

Archives

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The Tenth

The Precursor

[Pootporri]

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7he larger 0ne a7e a mea7beas7. f00lish. 7he y0ungbl00d was 7ired due 70 a scuffle wi7h her kismesis. 7h0ugh i w0nder if i7 even is 7ha7. 0h well.

### right. so how aaaaaare you faaaaaaring todaaaaaay, mister Drexus??? i aaaaaassume you aaaaaare doing quite well??? aaaaaanything interesting haaaaaappen aaaaaas of yet??? being in retirement aaaaaadmittedly doesn't sound paaaaaarticulaaaaaarly exciting, but this caaaaaafe, however uncouth it is, haaaaaas its quirks. ###

[Teslamagnetic Integration]

Zack giggled.


Th' only one o' a kind; Strip Poker indeed~. Course I don't think that's yer cup o' tea. Unless ya don't mind or anything, nah~? Zack replied, playfully.


figh7 be7ween 7ha7 bluebl00d, Drexus responded, nodding to Azazel, and 7w0 subjuggula70rs. b07h a7 7his 7able. pulled away a77en7i0n. nearly killed 7he 0lder 0ne. s0 m0re 0r less 7he same. y0u?

[Rio]

~i'd rather just play regular poker~
~might not be good at it but at least i dont have to do anything to bad when i loose~

((Bluh! Can we pick this up tomorrow, please?))

[noisyJester]

Ragadoll walked over to Iremi and hid where only the mouth of his mask and up could be seen.
psssssssssst

[Marshmellow]

Ragadoll walked over to Iremi and hid where only the mouth of his mask and up could be seen.
psssssssssst

[inexplicableSigns]

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa A!"
Cimson runs circles around the backroom naked screaming for a while before getting dressed and reading the note.
".....O-oh. u-um.. al-... alright theN."
She briefly considers heading out into the main room...
"... T-the prettiesT."
....
*thunk*
Oh dear. She appears to have fainted.

[noisyJester]

Ragadoll leans over and sniffs Iremi before going back to only his head being seen.
sup

[Pootporri]

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figh7 be7ween 7ha7 bluebl00d, Drexus responded, nodding to Azazel, and 7w0 subjuggula70rs. b07h a7 7his 7able. pulled away a77en7i0n. nearly killed 7he 0lder 0ne. s0 m0re 0r less 7he same. y0u?

Chim giggles a bit at the deadpan.


## hehehe!!! i've been doing pretty normaaaaaal, i guess. filling paaaaaaperwork, meeting with people, studying up on aaaaaalterniaaaaaan history. it's aaaaaall the boring stuff, i guess. saaaaaay, mister Drexus, do you do aaaaaanything fun aaaaaanymore??? like, do you ever traaaaaavel or fight people for fun, or do stuff normaaaaaal trolls do??? ##

She seems genuinely interested. Drexus was beginning to come some sort of role model, for the sheer fact that he's old and still quite sane. Or, she'd like to think so.

[Monster X]

Doktor and Vakyus watch Iremi.

They watch very carefully.

[MostlyHarmless]

figh7 be7ween 7ha7 bluebl00d, Drexus responded, nodding to Azazel, and 7w0 subjuggula70rs. b07h a7 7his 7able. pulled away a77en7i0n. nearly killed 7he 0lder 0ne. s0 m0re 0r less 7he same. y0u?

|=SNNNRK YOURFULLORCRAPYOUPUSSYARMOREDGREENBLOODMOTHERFUCKE RRRRR=|
|=HONK=|

Welp, that was an oddly specific snore.

[Marshmellow]

Does she ever react? Clearly, this situation will result in Ragadoll attempting to antagonize her to a point of some sort of reaction--but how long will that take? How many hilarious hi-jinx before Ragadoll succeeds or merely gives up? Why, this tug-of-war between wills could go on for posts and posts, pages in fact, perhaps, perhaps it is a battle of wills that will last even into Cafe Twelve before any sort of significant--

do you require something.

Oh, never mind.

[Teslamagnetic Integration]

On second thought, Sizzle, ya might wanna head ta sleep. Yer lookin' a little tired there, nah.

Drexus chuckled a little.


me? d0 any7hing exci7ing? i'm merely 7he 0ld war ve7eran wi7h s70ries. 7h0ugh i did s7ar in a m0vie a few sweeps back. 700 bad i7 was garbage. 0h well. pers0nnaly, i g07 sick 0f figh7ing and 7ravelling during du7y. 7hough i d0 a77emp7 70 rem0ve civil dis7urbances.

Drexus opened the faceplate just enough to slip the fork full of greens inside without giving away a single detail about what was under it.

[inexplicableSigns]

Azurre takes over the body with a sigh, pulling himself up to his feet and putting his glasses on.
"sO TROUBLESOME. YOU CAN'T EVEN TAKE A COMPLIMENt?"
He steps out into the main room and looks around before sitting down at the counter and grabbing a book to read.

[Rio]

~i guess~
~my hive's pretty far away though~
~and buckbeak gets angry when i need a ride~

((Okay now i'm going cuz omg my mother makes Vriska's lusus look like a kitten when she's mad))

[noisyJester]

eeeeeeeehhhhhaaaee
Ragadoll gets completely on the floor and crawls over to the back rooms. But to where he leaves the door unlocked, so he can stand still and wait to scare someone
((imout))

[Monster X]

Wielkych carefully walks over to Azurre.

"I haven't met you yet. Heh."

[Pootporri]

|=SNNNRK YOURFULLORCRAPYOUPUSSYARMOREDGREENBLOODMOTHERFUCKE RRRRR=|
|=HONK=|

Welp, that was an oddly specific snore.

Cimera scoots back a little bit before replying to Drexus.


## oh, shaaaaaame. aaaaaa movie, huh??? sounds exciting!!! i never reaaaaaally get offered to do things like thaaaaaat. even if i'm aaaaaan aaaaaaristocraaaaaat, i certaaaaaainly don't haaaaaave aaaaaa movie-staaaaaar esque quaaaaaality aaaaaabout me... hehehe!!! i don't think i could ever staaaaaar in aaaaaa movie!!! ##

### saaaaaay, speaaaaaaking of aaaaaappeaaaaaarences... why do you weaaaaaar aaaaaarmor...??? i meaaaaaan, you staaaaaarred in aaaaaa movie, i'm sure you're aaaaaa swooner!!! ###

[inexplicableSigns]

Azurre gives Wielkych a strange look.
"...wE HAVE NOT MET, No."
He then goes back to reading his book.

[Monster X]

Azurre gives Wielkych a strange look.
"...wE HAVE NOT MET, No."
He then goes back to reading his book.

"I assume you hate me, then? Heh."

She prevents a smirk.

[Teslamagnetic Integration]

Drexus sighed.


i w0re 7his arm0r 7hr0ugh0u7 m0s7 0f my campaign. her r0yal highness herself gran7ed i7 70 me. i7 is my 7es7amen7, my 7r0phy, and my skin. al0ngside s0me7hing else i w0uld ra7her n07 divulge in. i am always in 7his arm0r unless al0ne and ba7hing. even in 7he h0rrend0us ac7i0n flick.

Another bite. If one was veeeeeeeery observant, they could notice a dull white glow under the faceplate. Then again it could just be the lighting from the fixture hitting and reflecting off shit. Or CONSPIRACIES AHOY. Whichever.

[inexplicableSigns]

"...."
He puts the book down, marking his place.
"tHAT WOULD REQUIRE THERE TO BE SOMETHING THERE WORTH HATINg."
He raises an eyebrow.
"i SEE NOTHING WORTH MY TIMe."
Eyebrow down.
Book up.

[Monster X]

"...."
He puts the book down, marking his place.
"tHAT WOULD REQUIRE THERE TO BE SOMETHING THERE WORTH HATINg."
He raises an eyebrow.
"i SEE NOTHING WORTH MY TIMe."
Eyebrow down.
Book up.

Wielkych sighs.
"I see, the usual tactic employed by the Size Project to deter action by claiming it cannot be an action because it is not worth anything and worth defines all action. Unless you are simply implying you have nothing to do which would affect me in a way you care."

She pauses.

"What is the puzzle box?"

[Teslamagnetic Integration]

Azazel snorted abruptly at hearing that.

[MostlyHarmless]

Another bite. If one was veeeeeeeery observant, they could notice a dull white glow under the faceplate. Then again it could just be the lighting from the fixture hitting and reflecting off shit. Or CONSPIRACIES AHOY. Whichever.

did somebody say CONSPIRACIES?!