Pokéstuck

[GrisHarlequin]

Hahah! Ironic MLP references!

You've got yourself a new reader!

Caller: Be Kanaya, already aware of his triple loss ready to help him through these feelings.

[Neofafnir]

>Caller: Be Sollux, who is not dead or has not died at any point.

[Curris]

Caller ==> Be Joey! (Nepeta!) Challenge Karkat to a rematch with her Ratatta! A game of Cat and Mouse is so much fun :33

[SNeakyRobot]

> Bill collector.

[littlebeasti]

> Bill.

"HI HAVE YOU HEARD OF THE POKéMON BOX? LET ME DESCRIBE IT IN HORRENDOUS DETAIL!"

[SomeStupidWords]

>Be Gamzee, calling about something totally irrelevant, infuriating Karkat further.

[Blaperile]

> Caller: Be all Trolls at the same time.

> Caller: Be Gamzee!

[Curris]

Karkat ==> Take the call from Crabdad, you can't keep putting him off forever. . . He finds you and makes you regret it.

He's probably gonna wanna know all about how your Pokemon are doing, as if he even knew what a pokemon was, and tell you something about proud he is that you are a mighty Gym Leader. Bluh bluh, huge crawfish. . . Let's get this over with. . .

[MyCurrentObsession]

>Caller: Be Sollux, who is not dead or has not died at any point.

Seconding this.

>Sollux: Be calling to tell Karkat you've heard about his embarrassing string of losses lately. Engage in friendly banter and/or black flirting.

[Gene Striker]

Nice adventure you got. so:

You have accuiered: 1xNew Reader.

Vriska: Ask Eggderp why he bought the nigh useless Magikarp.

John: give her the most crazed/manic slasher smile you can muster and just say: Gayrados.

[The Mather1]

Nice adventure you got. so:

You have accuiered: 1xNew Reader.

Vriska: Ask Eggderp why he bought the nigh useless Magikarp.

John: give her the most crazed/manic slasher smile you can muster and just say: Gayrados.

>Magikarp: Be gay.
>Future Gyarados: Be someone's sassy gay friend.

[Shydragon]

Karkat ==> Take the call from Crabdad, you can't keep putting him off forever. . . He finds you and makes you regret it.

He's probably gonna wanna know all about how your Pokemon are doing, as if he even knew what a pokemon was, and tell you something about proud he is that you are a mighty Gym Leader. Bluh bluh, huge crawfish. . . Let's get this over with. . .

Oh by the way, I saw something in the store... (you know the drill)

[Curris]

Karkat ==> Take the call from Crabdad, you can't keep putting him off forever. . . He finds you and makes you regret it.

He's probably gonna wanna know all about how your Pokemon are doing, as if he even knew what a pokemon was, and tell you something about proud he is that you are a mighty Gym Leader. Bluh bluh, huge crawfish. . . Let's get this over with. . .

Oh by the way, I saw something in the store... (you know the drill)

GOG DAMNIT CRABDAD, THIS IS WHY I DON'T TRUST YOU WITH MONEY! YOU SPEND EVERY NOOKRUBBING CENT I EARN ON ASININE CRAP! NO, ASININE IS NOT A POKEMON; IT'S A WORD THAT MEANS YOU FUCKED UP! SIGH, I KNOW I USE THE STUFF YOU BUY. . . I USE IT SO YOU DON'T FILL UP MY COMPUTER BOX WITH JUNK. I'D SELL IT BUT THE POKEMON STOPPED ACCEPTING RETURNS FROM US. WHAT?!?!? YOU FILLED UP MY COMPUTER BOX! CRABDAD!!!!! AUGH!

[Godo-kun]

COMIC THREAD grew to level 1139! COMIC THREAD learned +another reader!
>Caller: Be Doc Scratch, the gym assistant, and...talk about...somethin' (I can't think this mornin')

[defeatedAgent]

Karkat ==> Take the call from Crabdad, you can't keep putting him off forever. . . He finds you and makes you regret it.

He's probably gonna wanna know all about how your Pokemon are doing, as if he even knew what a pokemon was, and tell you something about proud he is that you are a mighty Gym Leader. Bluh bluh, huge crawfish. . . Let's get this over with. . .

Oh by the way, I saw something in the store... (you know the drill)

GOG DAMNIT CRABDAD, THIS IS WHY I DON'T TRUST YOU WITH MONEY! YOU SPEND EVERY NOOKRUBBING CENT I EARN ON ASININE CRAP! NO, ASININE IS NOT A POKEMON; IT'S A WORD THAT MEANS YOU FUCKED UP! SIGH, I KNOW I USE THE STUFF YOU BUY. . . I USE IT SO YOU DON'T FILL UP MY COMPUTER BOX WITH JUNK. I'D SELL IT BUT THE POKEMON STOPPED ACCEPTING RETURNS FROM US. WHAT?!?!? YOU FILLED UP MY COMPUTER BOX! CRABDAD!!!!! AUGH!

kojthbjrqjngi3mijqahgkje

YES.

[lexeous]

Karkat ==> Take the call from Crabdad, you can't keep putting him off forever. . . He finds you and makes you regret it.

He's probably gonna wanna know all about how your Pokemon are doing, as if he even knew what a pokemon was, and tell you something about proud he is that you are a mighty Gym Leader. Bluh bluh, huge crawfish. . . Let's get this over with. . .

Oh by the way, I saw something in the store... (you know the drill)

GOG DAMNIT CRABDAD, THIS IS WHY I DON'T TRUST YOU WITH MONEY! YOU SPEND EVERY NOOKRUBBING CENT I EARN ON ASININE CRAP! NO, ASININE IS NOT A POKEMON; IT'S A WORD THAT MEANS YOU FUCKED UP! SIGH, I KNOW I USE THE STUFF YOU BUY. . . I USE IT SO YOU DON'T FILL UP MY COMPUTER BOX WITH JUNK. I'D SELL IT BUT THE POKEMON STOPPED ACCEPTING RETURNS FROM US. WHAT?!?!? YOU FILLED UP MY COMPUTER BOX! CRABDAD!!!!! AUGH!

kojthbjrqjngi3mijqahgkje

YES.

this this this thIS THIS THIS

[The Mather1]

Karkat ==> Take the call from Crabdad, you can't keep putting him off forever. . . He finds you and makes you regret it.

He's probably gonna wanna know all about how your Pokemon are doing, as if he even knew what a pokemon was, and tell you something about proud he is that you are a mighty Gym Leader. Bluh bluh, huge crawfish. . . Let's get this over with. . .

Oh by the way, I saw something in the store... (you know the drill)

GOG DAMNIT CRABDAD, THIS IS WHY I DON'T TRUST YOU WITH MONEY! YOU SPEND EVERY NOOKRUBBING CENT I EARN ON ASININE CRAP! NO, ASININE IS NOT A POKEMON; IT'S A WORD THAT MEANS YOU FUCKED UP! SIGH, I KNOW I USE THE STUFF YOU BUY. . . I USE IT SO YOU DON'T FILL UP MY COMPUTER BOX WITH JUNK. I'D SELL IT BUT THE POKEMON STOPPED ACCEPTING RETURNS FROM US. WHAT?!?!? YOU FILLED UP MY COMPUTER BOX! CRABDAD!!!!! AUGH!

kojthbjrqjngi3mijqahgkje

YES.

this this this thIS THIS THIS

>Crabdad: Have bought a bunch of Rare Candies from a Chuckle farmer.

[Stripe]

KARKAT: Check your HAND-HELD MESSAGING DEVICE!

Wow, looks like two douchebags have decided to bother you at the same time! It's just your lucky day.

KARKAT: Respond to CRABDAD first

Might as well. He tends to get antsy if you don't respond for a while. You're not really sure when he learned how to work a computer, but you suppose that with no you around to take care of, he's figured it out somehow. As you understand it, lusii get bored without trolls to take care of.

It's convenient for keeping in touch with him, at least, even if he tends to make a lot of typos. Not that you can blame him - must be pretty hard to type with those claws and everything. But it does make conversing with him rather annoying.

crabGuardian [CG] trolled carcinoGeneticist [CG]

CG: SON I HSVR PURVHSRF NEWE GOODD GOR YOU
CG: WHAT?
CG: CVHECK YOUR PVC INVENTORY
CG: UGH DON'T TELL ME
CG: YOU BOUGHT MORE USELESS THINGS THAT I'M NEVER GOING TO NEED, DIDN'T YOU?
CG: HOW THE HELL DO YOU EVEN HAVE ACCESS TO MY ACCOUNT?
CG: UGH, HOLD ON I'M GOING TO CHANGE MY FONT COLOR SO THIS CHAT LOG ISN'T SO FUCKING CONFUSING.
CG: THERE.
CG: WELL YOU NEVER SEEM TO USAE YOURE OQWN MONEY SO I THOUGHT I MIGFHT QS WEL;L
CG: DPON'T YOU LIKE THE THINKSD I BHTY YOU
CG: THAT'S NOT EVEN THE POINT.
CG: ITS MY MONEY AND I CAN DO WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT WITH IT OK?
CG: I DON'T NEED MY GUARDIAN TRYING TO BABY ME LIKE I'M SOME IDIOTIC WIGGLER WHO DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHICH END HE'S SUPPOSED TO SHIT FROM.
CG: I KJSUT WANT TO MAKE SURE THJATY YOU'RE TREATOMG YOUR PET POKEMON WEEL;;
CG: WHO THE FUCK EVEN CARES ABOUT THE POKEMON?
CG: THAT'S NOT THE REASON WE'RE HERE.
CG: I ONLY EVEN HAVE THEM BECAUSE I WOULD BE MASSACRED BY ONE OF TEREZI'S DRAGONS IF I DIDN'T.
CG: ALSO IT WOULD LOOK SUSPICIOUS AND WE'RE TRYING NOT TO DRAW ATTENTION TO OURSELVES.
CG: WHICH IS WHY YOU SHOULDN'T BE BUYING ME SHIT BECAUSE THERE'S GOING TO BE SOME HACKER THAT IS GOING TO TRACK ALL OF YOUR ACTIVITY BACK TO ME AND THEN WE'RE GOING TO BE INVESTIGATED BY THE FUCKING CONDESCE HERSELF.
CG: SPEAKIMG OF TEREZI HOW ARE THINGSA GFOING WITH HERE
CG: NO. DON'T EVEN START.
CG: THIS IS NOT "LET'S SIT KARKAT DOWN AND TALK ABOUT HIS FEELINGS" TIME.
CG: THIS IS "STOP BUYING ME SHIT OR BOTH OF US ARE GOING TO GET CULLED" TIME.
CG: SORRY.
CG: UGH. FORGET IT.
CG: THANKS FOR THE STUFF THIS TIME I GUESS.
CG: JUST DON'T DO IT AGAIN.
CG: OK
CG: ANYWAYS I SHOULD GO.
CG: SOLLUX IS BOTHERING ME TOO. IT MIGHT BE SOMETHING IMPORTANT.
CG: HAVW FUN./
CG: I MISS YOUJ
CG: MISS YOU TOO.
CG: TALK TO YOU LATER, I GUESS.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling crabGuardian [CG]

KARKAT: OK, Now Sollux

Great, now what on earth could he want?

twinArmageddons [TA] trolled carcinoGeneticist [CG]

TA: 2o ii heard you ran away from your gym leader dutiie2.
TA: niice goiing.
CG: THAT IS AN UGLY RUMOR.
CG: HOW THE HELL DID YOU HEAR SO QUICKLY?
TA: tz told me.
TA: apparently 2he dropped iin on your gym and iit wa2 clo2ed becau2e you lo2t two 2ome human2?
CG: WAIT I DIDN'T LEAVE THAT IN THE NOTE.
CG: HOW THE HELL DID SHE FIND OUT ABOUT THAT?
TA: beat2 me.
CG: OH SHIT SHE'S STALKING ME ISN'T SHE?
TA: doe2n't matter.
TA: what doe2 matter ii2
TA: what do you thiink you're doiing?
CG: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
CG: I'M DOING EXACTLY WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE.
CG: WE'RE ALLOWED TO LEAVE OUR GYMS EMPTY FOR A BIT IF WE LIKE.
CG: IT'S NOT A FEDERAL FUCKING ISSUE.
TA: well ye2 techniically you're allowed two do whatever the fuck you want.
TA: but ii don't know what you think you're going two be doiing out2iide of a gym.
TA: your pokemon 2uck. iif you go iinto the wiild you're goiing two be ma22acred.
CG: WELL FOR YOUR INFORMATION I'M TRACKING DOWN MY BLACKROM SOULMATE.
CG: BUT I WOULDN'T EXPECT YOU TO UNDERSTAND
TA: ehehehe 2eriiou2ly?
CG: SERIOUSLY.
CG: BUT IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER HOW MUCH MY POKEMON SUCK BECAUSE I SOMEHOW GOT STUCK TRAVELLING WITH VRISKA AND SHE CARES WAY TOO MUCH ABOUT THIS KIND OF STUFF.
CG: SO I'LL JUST USE HER AS MY PSYCHOTIC BODY GUARD AND NO PROBLEM.
TA: waiit, you're wiith vrii2ka now?
TA: we haven't been able to get a hold of her for age2.
TA: where diid you fiind her?
CG: SHE JUST KIND OF WALKED UP TO ME AND WANTED ME TO FIGHT HER HUMAN PET. I DON'T KNOW, IT WASN'T LIKE I WAS SEEKING HER OUT.
CG: WHY DIDN'T ANYBODY THINK TO TELL ME THAT SHE WAS MISSING ANYWAYS?
CG: DOESN'T THAT SEEM LIKE THE KIND OF INFORMATION THAT EVERYBODY SHOULD BE KEPT UP TO DATE ON?
TA: well iit'2 not my fault iif you don't keep up with the memo2.
CG: YOU ALL BANNED ME FROM THE MEMOS.
TA: oh, riight.
TA: ii 2hould probably report thii2 two aa or ff or 2omebody 2o i need to go.
TA: ju2t keep an eye on her for now.
TA: 2he'2 probably up to 2omethiing.
CG: WHAT ELSE IS NEW?


twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

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Oh geez this was a work-intensive update.

Anyways, the reason that I chose both Crabdad and Sollux is because, even though Crabdad was the popular option here, I got some requests for Sollux on the tumblr version of this adventure, and it ended in a tie!

Also, for authenticity, I typed Crabdad's dialouge with my fists.

[WanderingWitch]

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Very nice! And it kind of fits that, if two people are trolling him, one would be Sollux.

Hmm...
>Terezi: Stalk Karkat

[Curris]

I'm satisfied with KK & Crabdad's angry but loving relationship.

Karkat ==> Use your Handheld Messaging Device to Check Status of Computer Box. . . Discover a new pokemon in your Pokemon storage. . . Huh. That's odd. . .

[Nala]

>Karkat: angrily curse out your no good "best friend" (?) (I'm referring to Sollux here) for signing off after you attempted to have a civil conversation with him for once sort of
>Be Terezi

[GreenElectrodes]

>Karkat: Check what Crabdad bought you

[Neofafnir]

>Karkat: Check the items that Crabdad got you.
>Items: Be 69 rage candy bars
or
>Items: Be a shitload of antidotes and ice heals (for absolutely no reason whatsoever)
>Terezi: Be not stalking Karkat, instead ninja Nepeta be stalking Karkat for Terezi.

[The Mather1]

>Items: Be rare candies for the sole purpose of Crabdad not fucking up.

[littlebeasti]

> Crabdad's purchase: Be something completely fucking useless.
> End up being exactly what Karkat needs at some later date.