TROLLSLUM CAFE XVIII: 99 Cent Cluckbeast Wing Tuesdays (Freakshow is Free)

[Captain Whosit]

Or whatever the Caegar equivalent would be.

Alright, I would just like to start out with a little message. I would like to remind everyone of the big bolded stuff at the bottom of this post. I know that trolls, and some of the other creatures that have been appearing, can tend to be rather rowdy, but I have become a bit concerned lately that it sometimes gets out of hand. I just want to remind everyone that the intent of the Cafe is to be a place to get some free-form, social RP going. Obviously, some rough-housing will be inevitable, but please avoid using characters who are likely to provoke hostile responses by their very nature. I would like the general emphasis to be on social interaction, rather than anti-social interaction.

I do not want to be a cop, but I do want to make sure that this thread is an inviting place for everyone. So, please, do have a good time, but try not to go overboard. I would like the Cafe to be as inviting to new players as possible.

Every where you go, there's places like this; a comfortable place, dimly lit, with coffee and couches and books on the shelves and free wifi and, I don't know, a soup of the day. After the sun comes up they put up the shutters and sell alcohol. It's homey, unless your homelife involves caves and monsters that eat people, which it probablv does, because you're a troll.

It's a good place to have a seat and a cup of coffee, and make a friend, which in your language is the same word as enemy, because... you're a troll.

((And if you are maybe a human, which is a thing that doesn't exist, in another univere pretending to be a troll, maybe this is a good place to roleplay in a casual, social, variably canon setting or try out a new character. Please don't poke the setting too hard and please don't go on any murderous rampages. Honk.

EDIT: Feel free to NPC service when you order something, I can't watch this all the time or reply to every comment. For that matter feel free to assume your troll works here and fill someone's order if you want.

EDIT2: OKAY GUESS WE NEED SOME RULES AFTER ALL.

This is really intended to be a loose social setting for people to fool around and chat and try new characters. It is a not great place for a big brawl in the middle of the room that everyone pretty much has to react to. If you are playing a character who is inevitably going to try and hurt people and provoke this kind of thing, you should really think long and hard about bringing them in here for that reason. If a fight comes up in the course of RP, please take it ''outside' instead of disrupting the whole room. It being in the thread is fine, but it should be set somewhere where new people or people who don't want to be involved can ignore it, please. ))

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The Sixteenth
The Seventeenth

The Precursor

[Todd Ingram]

Gortum is ecstatic. New Cafe, a clean floor with no blood or kissdrool or anything like that.
He is glad when the world can be this PG.

[Overlard]

Kormut is still pondering the same question he just asked. He desires an answer.

[Pootporri]

((btw, guys, room doesnt change. it's just a new thread.))

WHY IS THERE A GIANT SHRIMP BANDAGING HIM OKAY MAYBE HE DOES HAVE A CONCUSSION AND MAYBE IT'S FUCKING GHASTLY TERRIBLE.

<SDGNDG^SGFFVVVCCCKKOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF>

He flails at the lusus, trying to deter it from touching him. It's not really working, seeing as well, pistolshrimp. Ertigo. Which one is stronger? It's not the yellow one.

But that doesn't keep him from yelling profanities and trying to kick the shrimp and bleeding everywhere in the process.

~~~~~


==)what-is-wrong-with-you-.---

==)it-looks-like-a-subjuggalator-threw-up-on-you-i-mean-god-damn-.---

==)your-outfit-is-atrocious-.---

==)and-your-hair-is-not-even-black-what-the-FUCK-is-wrong-with-you-.---

==)my-eyes-are-fucking-burning-here-and-yet-you-are-just-standing-there-like-the-social-trainwreck-you-appear-to-be-.---

==)you-know-what-fuck-fins-you-are-just-as-bad-as-a-rougeblood-.---

Wesley crosses her arms, and lowers her head, grimacing at all of the colors. All of them. She tries not to withdraw her sabre, but it's getting increasingly hard.

[incarceratedNoname]

Oh hey, and then Netron's ears began to hurt. Oh and uh, he seems to of lit his fingers on fire and is... sticking them in his earsohgod.
Theres a small pop and a burst of blood begans pouring from Net's ears, he doesn't seem to bothered by it though.


@www !i w@s hop!ing we'd be @ble to cont!inue th!is l!ittle convers@t!ion of ours but !it looks l!ike !i won't be @ble to he@r wh@t your s@y!ing @ny more...
His scalpel begins glowing white hot as he heats the blade up and quickly flicks it at Plek. It'd probably cut through flesh like butter with how hot it was at the moment.

[scintillatingMoniker]

Sonic oops I mean Chonis returns to being very laidback about everything. The fight's actually pretty good, and neither side seems to be in any real trouble, so he's satisfied with watching and eating his favorite food.

[MostlyHarmless]

Gortum is ecstatic. New Cafe, a clean floor with no blood or kissdrool or anything like that.
He is glad when the world can be this PG.

That's nOt hOw it wOrks sOn.

This isn't the metaphysical bar Aaron! Round these parts we respect the fourth wall!

[Suds McFuddle]

Kormut is still pondering the same question he just asked. He desires an answer.

Hehehe, I'm not s@ying @nything, m@n. I'm just t@lking @bout how much it sucks to h@ve eyes th@ show your rom@ntic feelings to everyone.

Vileor continues to show off his cool smirk.

[Monster X]

((btw, guys, room doesnt change. it's just a new thread.))

WHY IS THERE A GIANT SHRIMP BANDAGING HIM OKAY MAYBE HE DOES HAVE A CONCUSSION AND MAYBE IT'S FUCKING GHASTLY TERRIBLE.

<SDGNDG^SGFFVVVCCCKKOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF>

He flails at the lusus, trying to deter it from touching him. It's not really working, seeing as well, pistolshrimp. Ertigo. Which one is stronger? It's not the yellow one.

But that doesn't keep him from yelling profanities and trying to kick the shrimp and bleeding everywhere in the process.

The shrimp's carapace does more than enough of a job of preventing unnecessary damage. Although it does make it a bit hard to bandage him. After a while, it's gotten... most of it bandaged.

It taps him with its normal claw, then wanders over to Sadoma and picks her up, It walks out with her on its back.

[Todd Ingram]

Gortum is ecstatic. New Cafe, a clean floor with no blood or kissdrool or anything like that.
He is glad when the world can be this PG.

That's nOt hOw it wOrks sOn.

This isn't the metaphysical bar Aaron! Round these parts we respect the fourth wall!

FUCK

Surprised by the sudden livestockboy, Gortum wakes up from the daydream he was having.

The cafe is still ripe with blood and sexual tension (or complete and shameless lack of it).
did you have to wake me up, mr. whoever?

[Cliff_Racer]

"U-um yeah I knew you meant that the whole time."

No you didn't.

(( Now I REALLY gotta go do dishes. Be back in ~15 minutes. ))

[Todd Ingram]

"U-um yeah I knew you meant that the whole time."

No you didn't.

Gortum glances over

just go to the back room and start making out already
save us a lot of time

[Overlard]

Kormut is too busy being flustered to talk right now. Look at this, will you just LOOK at this sexual tension in the air? My kidneys are shutting down already.
He is, however, immediately startled by that 'make out' comment. Look at that blush grow more, uh, blushy.

[privateTenderloin]

Crazy fucker blew up his eardrums, great, no need to keep pl- oh hey a scalpel. Plek spins away from it but it nicks him in the shoulder. Ok.... maybe more then nicks, you can sorta see some bone there, needless to say he drops his violin. At least it wasn't his bow arm. He dashes forward lunging forward with his bow as he closes in, his long arm should stop him from pulling the same shit as last time. His other arm he lets hang loosely for now... not that he could move it if he wanted to.

[Temperencia]

Erine whimpers a bit. It looks like she's about to cry, but she always looks like she's about to cry. The lower blood has already dominated the higher one. Erine looked down at her clothing. God DAMN it did look like some subjugglator threw up on her.



I dunno.. I-I'm s-sorry..! U-umm.. i-it's just that o-other o-outfits didn't really s-suit me w-well.. I-I knew I sh-should have ch-changed outfits.. M-my hair s-sorta g-grew that way t-too, s-so i-it's all m-my fault..!

The seadweller looks at the ponytail of her hair, and a small tear falls down her eye, but she wipes her face before anyone could see it.

[Todd Ingram]

Erine whimpers a bit. It looks like she's about to cry, but she always looks like she's about to cry. The lower blood has already dominated the higher one. Erine looked down at her clothing. God DAMN it did look like some subjugglator threw up on her.



I dunno.. I-I'm s-sorry..! U-umm.. i-it's just that o-other o-outfits didn't really s-suit me w-well.. I-I knew I sh-should have ch-changed outfits.. M-my hair s-sorta g-grew that way t-too, s-so i-it's all m-my fault..!

The seadweller looks at the ponytail of her hair, and a small tear drops down her cheek, but she wipes her face before anyone could see it.

Gortum manages to look over there too, ignoring the creepy purple dude.
He may have found someone here he can relate to.


if, um... it's any consolation, i think your outfit looks great
and the hair is...wow!
i've never seen anything like it...it's cool.

[Suds McFuddle]

Gortum glances over

just go to the back room and start making out already
save us a lot of time

Vileor turns to the brightgreenblood and shakes his head.

Now, now. No need to rush them, h@h@.

[Overlard]

Kormut flips open his Basic Conversation with other Trolls for Assholes: Blue Blood edition and opens the page marked with one of his luck charms. He's still on the quadrant chapter filled with shitty clip art. It's on the Kismesis section, and Kormut is too flustered to notice.

[MostlyHarmless]

FUCK

Surprised by the sudden livestockboy, Gortum wakes up from the daydream he was having.

The cafe is still ripe with blood and sexual tension (or complete and shameless lack of it).
did you have to wake me up, mr. whoever?

Yes. Yes I did. AlsO it's kind Of rude tO start chatting up birds when sOmebOdy's talking tO yOu.



It's very disrespectful...

[Pootporri]

Ertigo, now without a nose-piercing, passes the fuck out on the table. Hopefully he doesn't have a concussion or something lest his brain shut down because that would be bad.

But yeah.

His nose is broken, his leg is missing some fabric, his good arm is pretty out of place, and he's generally not in the best position right now. Enjoy the nightmares, Ertigo!~

~~~~~

Wesley shoots Gortum a rude gesture, AKA a middle finger. Then, she lowers it, and continues to address Erine.

==)do-not-suit-you-well-huh-.---

==)there-i-went-thinking-fin-faces-could-get-any-outfit-they-pleased-.---

==)guess-i-was-wrong-.---

She shrugs.

==)maybe-you-should-dye-your-hair-black-so-you-do-not-look-like-as-much-of-an-eyesore-as-you-do-now-.---

==)frankly-i-am-having-trouble-looking-at-you-.---

And that was not a lie. Wesley is looking at the table and addressing the bright troll.

==)i-do-not-even-know-if-you-deserve-my-name-.---

[Todd Ingram]

(i'm gonna kill a number of birds with two stones right here right now)

Somebody taps on the purple hat man from behind.



Eh! No need to go all violent on the little boy all of a sudden!
Kids his age always drop everything when they see a pretty girl. I did it all the time when I had a few less sweeps under my belt.
Can I ask your name?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



hey! no need to flip me an expressive digit all of a sudden!
i'm just trying to be nice to the girl you're currently beating the shit out of, verbally wise.

[Overlard]

That was the KISMESIS section you dolt! There is no way that this is a kismesis problem!

You are not quite sure whether the current situation can be called a 'problem'.
Boy, I got you this far, no back sass from you.

You quickly skip to the flushed section.

[Suds McFuddle]

Hey, m@n. Wh@ch@ re@ding there?

[Cliff_Racer]

ohgodit'ssoobvioustheyknowww you need to get out of here get some fresh air
"U-um Kortum I SCREEd to go s-so um could SCREE talk over trollian?"

She takes out a pen and writes down her trolltag on Kormut's arm.

THEN SHE ABSCONDS THE FUCK OUT OF THERE.

[incarceratedNoname]

Crazy fucker blew up his eardrums, great, no need to keep pl- oh hey a scalpel. Plek spins away from it but it nicks him in the shoulder. Ok.... maybe more then nicks, you can sorta see some bone there, needless to say he drops his violin. At least it wasn't his bow arm. He dashes forward lunging forward with his bow as he closes in, his long arm should stop him from pulling the same shit as last time. His other arm he lets hang loosely for now... not that he could move it if he wanted to.

Netron snears as he sees Plek coming at him with the bladed violin bow. He'd do the same trick he did before but thats probably what he'd be expecting, instead he leans forward and shoots himself at Plek like a bullet with a large burst of flames from his feet. Aiming to headbutt Plek with his steel plated skull, of course Net was probably going to get cut with the violin bow while doing so but he didn't really care.