trollslum eight. put your fantroll profiles here.

**misterFanboy** · 06-06-2011, 03:17 PM

JEGUS FUCK
this thread has all the funny.
ALL OF IT.

help i cannot stop laughing
oh gog i cant breathe

**frolic** · 06-06-2011, 04:04 PM

Originally Posted by Devilfish

Originally Posted by frolic

Quick someone put him on a horse.

Yesssssssss. 8DD

**LordBlumiere** · 06-06-2011, 04:09 PM

> Be the overdone poser troll.

W..i ReSeNT THaT!..W

> Be the antisocial manhunting seadweller.

W..BeTTeR, i SuPPoSe...W

You are now CASSEI OPHELIA, and you are very particular about your QUADRANTS. They have to be filled in order, from flushed to calignous. This may make it VERY HARD for you to EVER REPRODUCE, but you don't care. You are almost 10 sweeps old, which gives you the advantage of being able to go OFF PLANET whenever you like. You are searching for your OWN LONELY PLANET to make your own. You have absolutely no interest in living with anyone else. Unless it is a HOT TROLL MAN. Then you may reconsider.

You like to think of yourself as PAINFULLY ATTRACTIVE. Of course, if you've got it, then you should flaunt it, right? Therefore you dress PROVOCATIVELY at every occasion. You might OVERDO IT a bit, but you won't admit that. After all, trolls have no FASHION SENSE. Due to your obsession with vanity, your kind abstratus is MIRRORKIND, and reflecting the moon into trolls' eyes is GREAT FUN.

BAD REALITY TV is your secret passion. Someday you'd like to be on ALTERNIAN SHORE or something like that.

Your trolltag is sexyConstellation and W..you NeVeR CaPiTaLiZe VoWeLS. you aLWayS aDD youR W To THe BeGiNNiNG aND eND oF youR SeNTeNCeS...W

Tl;dr

**enragedFingernail** · 06-06-2011, 04:40 PM

Originally Posted by LordBlumiere

Your troll bio's always have "Land of bluh and bluh" in them.. Do you know that the lands are a SGRUB feature? To be in a Land of X and Y you have to be playing SGURB.

**LordBlumiere** · 06-06-2011, 04:43 PM

Originally Posted by enragedFingernail

Your troll bio's always have "Land of bluh and bluh" in them.. Do you know that the lands are a SGRUB feature? To be in a Land of X and Y you have to be playing SGURB.

Yep, I'm aware

They're for future use.

**enragedFingernail** · 06-06-2011, 04:46 PM

Originally Posted by LordBlumiere

Originally Posted by enragedFingernail

Your troll bio's always have "Land of bluh and bluh" in them.. Do you know that the lands are a SGRUB feature? To be in a Land of X and Y you have to be playing SGURB.

Yep, I'm aware

They're for future use.

Well maybe you should reword them, because it says resides in the land. Meaning they are there now. And your last troll made reference to them being in the land of paper in their bio, meaning they are there now.

**LordBlumiere** · 06-06-2011, 04:59 PM

Originally Posted by enragedFingernail

Originally Posted by LordBlumiere

Originally Posted by enragedFingernail

Your troll bio's always have "Land of bluh and bluh" in them.. Do you know that the lands are a SGRUB feature? To be in a Land of X and Y you have to be playing SGURB.

Yep, I'm aware

They're for future use.

Well maybe you should reword them, because it says resides in the land. Meaning they are there now. And your last troll made reference to them being in the land of paper in their bio, meaning they are there now.

Ah, sorry about that, I'm not very awake when I'm writing these things o_o; I'll go back and edit that!

**tonightsEntertainment** · 06-06-2011, 05:37 PM

remember to keep chatter in this thread to a minimum, if you can!

**mars7a** · 06-06-2011, 06:01 PM

Originally Posted by tonightsEntertainment

remember to keep chatter in this thread to a minimum, if you can!

It wasn't really chatter.

**Dragongirl30894** · 06-06-2011, 06:41 PM

This guy used to be cupcakeRodent, but I realised his caste was wrong, and just did an overall revamp on him.

-> Be the water rat.

Your name is Keebos Daymin, and you're not a water rat! Well, your lusus is, but not you! You like your lusus, he has a fin on his tail, and webbed feet, and fin-like ears... He's pretty cool. You love him, even though he left you out in the wilderness while you were still a grub. But you know it was to make you stronger. And it did too! You're survived a whole perigee all by yourself, with improvised tools and stuff, until you managed to get back to your hive. So now you make periodic trips out to the middle of nowhere, with the help of Rythm (your lusus). You blindfold yourself, and mount him, and he takes you somewhere, drops you off, and runs back to the hive, and you have to find your way back by yourself. Which made you a master of survival.

But wait a minute, that's one of your interests! Okay, let's go through all of them. As mentioned, you're a great survivalist, and often research on the subject. Being a seadweller, albeit a very low one in terms of seadwellers, you'd be expected to be extremely loyal to the hemospectrum, but you're not! Because hey, you've had to ask for help for many trolls before, in your many survival trips, although you prefer to avoid doing that. Some lowbloods sometimes take the chance to try and kill you while you're weak, because of hate toward the caste system, so, depending on your state, you either run and set up a trap, or stay and fight.

The first one led to a second shameful interest of yours. Well, not much of an interest, but still. You have no problem at all with eating troll flesh. Yes, you're somewhat of a cannibal. What do you think you do with those that get caught on your traps? Don't worry, you may be a cannibal, but you're not a sadist, so you give your victims painless deaths, usually by breaking their necks. It's the easiest way really. And then you just proceed to dice up whatever troll you caught and roast the meat before eating. You think you've eaten at least one of every caste at some point in time. Your favorites are brown/orange, green, and blue. And seadwellers just taste like fish. Bleh.

Well, you've gone through surviving and cannibalism, what else... Oh right! You love to act! When you're not running for your life in some forgotten place of Alternia, you practice your acting. And your lusus is the judge, though you see he doesn't like it when you make him watch you perform. At least he's a fair judge. You're a pretty good actor. Not the best of the best, but you're good enough to be satisifed. And since no good actor would be caught ashamed in a dancing contest, you've trained that too. So you can dance better than you can act, and even your fighting technique mimicks dancing a bit.

Yeah, you're not much of a fighter. You've got a simple build, not particularly strong of big or tall or anything. So you fight by dodging a lot and making small continuous hits, using your flailKind specibus. You have a few different ones to help you survive. Like one that's pretty much a stick with a long rope tied to it and a knife at the other end. And it also helps that running from the brutal predators of Alternia for almost your whole life gave you a good agility. You have a simple Fetch Modus too, the Stringy Modus. You just get a string around your wrist for each item, and you just gotta snap one to retrieve whatever item you want. Easy to do with these buck-like teeth you have.

Oh, you almost forgot. When you go out to survive like that, you always take your PDA with you, which is especially built to survive water, fire for a limited time, and falling from pretty high. Even if you're in the middle of nowhere, you still got friends! And staying completely alone for too long isn't very healthy for one's sanity. You communicate with the castawayRodent tag, and you talk with a simple tone, because usually you're not focusing on your PDA completely, keeping yourself wary of your surroundings. And you can even use it to talk to your lusus too, because he knows how to type.

TL;DR

**Captain Whosit** · 06-07-2011, 12:05 AM

Your name is ALTAIA IMPEZA.

You are a blue-blood and you like to make sure that EVERYBODY KNOWS IT. You enjoy your position near the top of the hemospectrum, lording it over those below you while showing deference those above you. While you do try to show sea dwellers respect, you also partake in the ANCIENT RIVALRY between the landed nobility and the watery royals. You never associate with low-bloods unless you must, and when you do, you TEND TO CULL THEM FOR YOUR OWN AMUSEMENT.

Your lusus is a creature befitting your stature. It is a creature with the body of a lion and the head and wings of an eagle. Two of the most noble creatures joined as one. The fact that you can also ride her is pretty sweet, too. Every now and then, the two of you take to the Alternian skies, swooping down on unsuspecting low-bloods and tearing them apart. It is wonderful BONDING TIME.

You live atop a small mountain in a hive that resembles a fortress. Short of a terribly risky climb, the only way up is by air. However, in the event that your lusus is not available, there is a SECRET PASSAGE, the existence of which is known only to YOU AND YOUR CLOSEST FRIEND (and SHE only knows about it because she's a snoopy bitch). Inside your hive is a large gymnasium where you like to practice your SKILLS WITH WEAPONS AND THE MARTIAL ARTS. Your life's dream is to join the noble ranks of the BLOOD KNIGHTS and perhaps even earn a seat amongst the 15 HIGH BLOOD KNIGHTS, who lead the lesser warriors into battle. As a noble, you are PRACTICED IN ARCHERY and though you are competent, you MUCH PREFER THE SWORD. You like to do things up close and personal. You also know how to use spears, but not that well. Nonetheless, you practice diligently every night. YOU'RE NOT QUITE AS AWESOME AS YOU THINK YOU ARE, but you are still pretty deadly.

While you do your best to live like a proper blue-blood, you do have a SECRET PASSION. You enjoy writing VERY BAD SELF-INSERT FICTION, often taking the role of SWORDSAINT SHARPTIP, who mercilessly culls all of her enemies and wins the admiration and loathing of all the pretty princes and princesses. You think it's gold, but YOUR FRIENDS DISAGREE. Incidentally, though you are already 8 sweeps old, you love to Flarp with your best/worst friend. The two of you have worked together for many sweeps, and you have a pretty good thing going.

Your trolltag is shiningSwordsaint and =|==> You a1way5 have your 5word at the ready, and you honor the 15 H1gh B1ood Kn1ght5 w1th your word5.

AB Sprite:

Summary:

**PaperHelmet** · 06-07-2011, 12:26 AM

>Be the troll with those huge friggin' horns.

tktktk. leftt my retttainer here. waitt whatt?

You are SKATTR MEZZOS. You are a CAVE TROLL who was forced from his UNDERGROUND HIVE by STRANGE TREMORS. Luckily, you and your LUSUS managed to survive and build a new RESPITEBLOCK above the ground. Despite your fears of the SURFACE WORLD, you have grown quite accustomed to it, and actually kind of enjoy the FRESH AIR and VEGETATION. Your INTERESTS include TUNNELING, FEASTING, COLLECTING SHINY DETRITUS, and, oddly enough, AGRICULTURE.

Your LUSUS, a BURROWING JAWVERMIN, taught you everything you know about LIFE and the way it WORKS. Of course, this means you have to lick your HANDS and clean your TEETH, HAIR and ENORMOUS HORNS with them on a regular basis. You also have to PROCURE FOOD by digging a SAND PIT and waiting for BEASTS to lurch by and fall in (though you've proved to your LUSUS that simply going to the GROCERY STORE can be an efficient alternative). You also have been taught to attract your MATES via a RHYTHMIC CHIRPING DANCE involving RAISING YOUR POSTERIOR IN THE AIR AND SWINGING IT APPROXIMATELY 45 DEGREES IN EACH ANGLE BEFORE REPEATING IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION AT LEAST 12 TIMES, but through sufficient pleading and reasoning, your LUSUS has excused you from this activity. You cater to all your other PRIMAL TEACHINGS however, and nothing tastes better than RAW JUICY MEAT harvested with your own SCISSORKIND STRIFE SPECIBUS.

The first thing anyone comments on when you strike up a conversation is your lovely pair of HORNS. You are quite proud of them. They are RIDICULOUSLY RESILIENT, something shared with your HAIR and NAILS, the latter of which you use as dexterous CUTTING TOOLS. Unfortunately, their girth also makes them RATHER UNWIELDY, and they sometimes cause ACCIDENTS. To add onto this, you are not very SMART, so discretion isn't exactly applied when you turn your head. But anyone who can make it past your clumsiness and CONSTANT VERBAL CLICKS will quickly see that you are not so bad a guy... until you start picking FIGHTS. Just another SIDE-EFFECT of your PRIMAL TEACHINGS, you suppose. Incidentally, any PRETTY LADIES you happen across are usually the target of INTENSE STARING for about a minute or so. You're just a sucker for aesthetics (primalteachingsprimalteachingsprimalteachings).

Your trolltag is distoleonUndertaker, you manage items via an ANT FARM MODUS, and you ttend tto stttuttter on sharp kkonsonanttts, as well as kklickk habitttually... tktktk.

thankkks for thatt. now fuckk off.

TL;DR

Name: Skattr Mezzos
Age: 7 solar sweeps
Blood: Fern Frond (#697920)
Lusus: Burrowing Jawvermin (giant antlion)
Strife Specibi: scissorsKind
Modus Operendi: lookk att itt this way. when they need tto solve kklimattte change, they gett some highblood with a big head tto lookk inttto itt. when they need tto knockk down some asshole's wall... they kkall me.
Likes: Agriculture, hunting for meat, pretty ladies
Dislikes: Getting stuck in places, being hungry, people in his personal space
Theme Song: A Sharp Deserty Tune
Sylladex: Ant Farm Modus: Items placed in the modus are placed in wandering ant cards that mill about in the sylladex. Its sometimes a chore to find the one you want.
Relationships: Auspice to some stupid couple somewhere. He doesn't really take it seriously.
Special Qualities: Nigh unbreakable horns, bones, and nails.

Buggy. I love it.

**Gunge** · 06-07-2011, 12:42 AM

Yeah. Yeah that guy is cool. C:

**PaperHelmet** · 06-07-2011, 12:51 AM

Originally Posted by Gunge

Yeah. Yeah that guy is cool. C:

Fanks =D

**Thunder Reign** · 06-07-2011, 01:10 AM

"Women are all shallow"... something tells me this stereotype really wouldn't hold up so well in troll society, where the difference between genders is far less pronounced. 8|

Anyway, just a fun fact I noticed when I was updating, there are far more trolltags in the A-M range than the N-Z range. Makes it easier for me, haha!

**Zrcalo** · 06-07-2011, 06:30 AM

Originally Posted by PaperHelmet

Originally Posted by Gunge

Yeah. Yeah that guy is cool. C:

Fanks =D

your troll is AWESSOOMMME

**misterFanboy** · 06-07-2011, 07:19 AM

Oh dear... I don't even wanna imagine his ancestor's horns...
Cool troll, anyway.

**Zombiitwo** · 06-07-2011, 05:20 PM

-snip hit post by accident-

**Rai-CH** · 06-07-2011, 05:34 PM

>Be the self-insert
You fail to be the self-insert as she has developed beyond that.
>Ok. Be the money-obsessed artist

(( Alterniabound outlines by DragonLights! ))

Your name is KATRIN RISSAH and you are quite SHY. Though you are trying to IMPROVE on that, it’s just taking a lot of TIME. And CONFIDENCE.

You could consider yourself to be an ARTIST. You enjoy drawing, though you believe you are TERRIBLE AT IT. You have virtually NO SELF-CONFIDENCE, and constantly BEAT YOURSELF UP over your lack of skills. But you are making a conscious effort to STOP DOING THAT. But you’re beginning to digress.
You tend to draw PORTRAITS of other trolls, but they are usually UNAWARE that you are sketching them. It is a bit of a CREEPY HABIT, but you don’t mind. What they DON’T KNOW CAN’T HURT THEM, after all. You occasionally create FANCHARACTERS for WEBCOMICS that you read, though they are all TERRIBLE SELF-INSERTS that can perform IMPOSSIBLE FEATS and the like. You have also written FICTION about them, and have posted it up on the INTROLLNET. In retrospect, you wish you DIDN’T DO THAT; that was a STUPID IDEA.

You are also a bit of a TECHNICIAN. Your MATESPRIT taught you how to fix VARIOUS ELECTRONICS, and you have turned it into a sort of BUSINESS. You are quite METICULOUS when it comes to fixing things, always WRITING DOWN every step you take and DOUBLE-CHECKING to make sure everything is CORRECT and WORKING. You hate CUTTING CORNERS, though it does INTERFERE with your OUTPUT.

To be entirely honest, the initial reason why you took up that job, and why you ended up so close to your matesprit was for one thing: MONEY. As a lowly REDBLOOD, you have always DREAMED of what it would be like to have been BORN INTO A HIGHER CASTE. You tend to daydream about all the WEALTH and RECOGNITION you would receive if you were a HIGHBLOOD. As such, you can be VERY GREEDY and will often charge RIDICULOUSLY HIGH PRICES for your services. It is not above you to try and think up GET RICH QUICK SCHEMES, or attempt to CON ANOTHER TROLL to giving you a few extra CAEGARS. You even took up FLARP to earn just that little bit extra.

When not drawing other trolls like a creeper, or attempting to scrounge together enough money to buy a decent meal, you like to indulge in your GUILTY PLEASURE. Said guilty pleasure is in fact, ROLEPLAYING. You have a few friends over TROLLIAN that you roleplay with; each one with their own MARY SUE SELF INSERT CHARACTER. You guys are all SHIT AT ROLEPLAYING, but you enjoy yourselves and that’s all that matters.

As said in your opening paragraph, you are quite SHY. You find it very DIFFICULT to approach NEW TROLLS, and tend to stay quiet in fear that you’ll SAY OR DO SOMETHING STUPID. You are quite SELF-CONSCIOUS, and worry about how OTHER TROLLS SEE YOU. As a result, you have been trying to become MORE SOCIAL in hope to cure your ANXIETIES. However, you haven’t been able to cure your FREAKOUTS just yet. You tend to get INCREDIBLY FLUSTERED if someone TOUCHES or COMPLIMENTS YOU. You’re not used to the POSITIVE INTERACTION. You are also quite AFRAID of HIGHBLOODS, and tend to let them WALK ALL OVER YOU so you don’t risk ANGERING THEM.

You have two STRIFE SPECIBI, UMBRELLAKIND and KNIFEKIND. You favour your TRUSTY UMBRELLA more than your knives, but won’t hesitate to pull them out in EMERGENCIES. Emergencies being that you’re about to get CULLED. Your umbrella is quite special, as it is RAZOR-SHARP and INCREDIBLY STURDY. If swung hard enough, it can CUT THROUGH SOME SOLID OBJECTS. It was the best couple of hundred caegars you EVER SPENT. But you are a HUGE WUSS who probably couldn’t inflict damage even if you TRIED so it seems like a bit of a WASTE.

You live in a LAWNRING, not too far from one of Alternia’s CITIES. Your hive is quite SMALL, and more like the human equivalent to a sort of DETACHED UNIT, whatever a human or unit is. Your neighbours are a bunch of IDIOTS, and often pull pranks such as stealing your mailbox, or leaving decapitated troll heads in your front yard. These pranks used to SCARE YOU, but now you just IGNORE IT.

Your lusus is a GOLDFISH. No, you are not making that up. It is VERY ODD for a lowblood like you to have an aquatic lusus, but you don’t really mind. It is VERY INCONVENIENT for you, as you had to have a POND installed into your already tiny hive. But you still like GOLDFISHMUM, she is a little forgetful, but that doesn’t really matter. However, you can’t help but imagine what your life would be like if you had a much COOLER LUSUS, like a DRAGON, or a LION, or a-

Whoops, you’re daydreaming again.

Your trolltag is awkwardArtist and y’ tend t’ uh, mumble ev’ry now ‘nd again, y’ guess.

But you um, type normally over Trollian!

Tl;dr

**Zombiitwo** · 06-07-2011, 05:37 PM

Here's the post I meant to make earlier.

Thought I might as well post these here to prevent issues with handles and such in the future.

>Be the militarily obsessed troll.

You are now ZANDER TARSIF.
You have a variety of interests. Including a dabbling in electronics, chatting up the ladies, and the military. God, you love the military. You are the self-proclaimed FIRST GENERAL OF THE EMPRESS ASCENDANT and aspiring commander of the Alternian Battle Fleet. You keep a collection of military related items in your respiteblock, such as models, simulations of famous battles. You always keep up with the latest campaigns performed by the Alternian Military, and you hope for a galaxy that is one day united under the Alternian flag. A universe, undivided.

Your trolltag is universeUndivided and you tend to speak a |itt|e bit |ike this, and rro|| yourr rrs.

Second troll:

Yes, that's the same Zander from NEPETAQUEST 2011 in the FA subforum. I am his creator, and I found someone camping the handle RPing as him earlier today, so I figured to post it here and make it known that he is an actual fantroll and not open for RPing. I don't understand why you would want to RP as a character that is not your own, but ok.

**LordBlumiere** · 06-07-2011, 09:07 PM

> Be the musical lowblood.

♪hell, even thC:ugh im a lC:wblC:C:d, i can still make damn gC:C:d music sC: whC: cares?!♫

You are now TEHNOR JOHANN. As in Troll Bach. You're sure your LUSUS picked that name for a reason. Good LUSUS. Best friend. Even though you are a RUSTBLOOD (who came up with that name anyway?), you are attempting to MAKE IT BIG in a ROCK BAND. This is difficult for one of your SOCIAL STATUS, but you make do. Your BAND consists of other trolls like you, and you named it BUCKET BOOTY. You think this is a GOOD IRONIC NAME. You miss the point of IRONY.

You are exactly 9 sweeps old, in the prime of your early life. You SNEER IN THE FACE OF DANGER, which has got you into trouble more than once. You almost got CULLED, but your trusty TROLLBANEZ GUITAR managed to fend them off. This may have been less because you are a GOOD HEAD-BASHER and more because your music BLOWS. Your band is NOT VERY GOOD, but you think it is the BEST THING EVER. You may be a little too optimistic.

As is probably notable, you love MUSIC. Especially ROCK. Especially TROLL 1980S ROCK. This is the pinnacle of music in your opinion. You also like TROLL-WATCHING and WRITING. These two interests tend to combine and make for some INTERESTING SONG LYRICS.

Your trolltag is sebastianBach, and you harbour a secret affection for a BLUEBLOOD. She has no idea that most of your songs are about her. ♪yC:u never capitalize anything, dC:nt use apC:strC:phes, and yC:ur speech is peppered with sadly incC:rrect base clefs.♫

Tl;dr

**awkwardsilence** · 06-07-2011, 09:23 PM

>Be the secretive revolutionary one

Congratulations. You are now successfully the secretive revolutionary one. How did you manage that?

Anyway, your name is [UNDISCLOSED] and you are a young female troll of [UNDISCLOSED] sweeps. You are kind of incredibly SECRETIVE. And you have sort of gone past the point of practicality here with your secretiveness, honestly. It is kind of RIDICULOUS. You keep everything a secret from everyone. You have all of the secrets. All of them. So many secrets that we are about to find out right now, if fact!

Your hive is ridiculously FORTIFIED, and very much IMPENETRABLE from the outside because of your extreme PARANOIA. You don't really trust anyone at all who isn't your lusus, who was a large HAWKUAR. And your lusus is dead, so your pretty much ALONE out there. Because of the DEATH OF YOUR LUSUS, you became even more DISTRUSTING of other trolls, and you are very CAREFUL about what you let them know. Information is precious, after all, and one musn't hand it out willy-nilly! As the old expression goes, loose Word Transmitters sink Floatation Devices of Usually a Large Size! And you would hate to start sinking Floatation Devices of Usually a Large Size all over the place.

You are very STEALTHY and not at all idle. You are like a little Hot Gas Popping Cylinder-very ENTHUSIASTIC about taking ACTION all the time. See, you are not just [UNDISCLOSED], female troll of [UNDISCLOSED] sweeps. That is merely your SECRET IDENTITY. You are actually Stealthy Culler, the leader of a not-so-small revolt against high bloods everywhere! Of course, your blood color being [UNDISCLOSED] this is sort of a surprise. Or maybe it isn't. Who knows!

Not you!

Anyway, you love CHALLENGES and are very CONFIDENT when it comes to facing them. You believe you can take on the world. And you probably can! Because that is actually what you are doing right now, believe it or not! Your hobbies are SPYING, leading RAIDS, blowing up IMPORTANT ROYAL BUILDINGS, and RUNNING in the early morning. You only did that once, though. Blowing up the royal building, you mean. Not the running. You run all the time.

You have a lot of EMPATHY for low bloods, and that is why you became this VIGILANTE that you definitely are. And the only reason you are even still alive is because of your INCREDIBLE LUCK. You are actually unbelievably lucky. That whole "blowing up a royal building" thing was actually an accident, and it was a miracle you made it out alive. But you have always believed in KARMA and LUCK, and you believe that is what is guiding you here. Otherwise you probably would have been dead a long time ago.

Your trolltag is unidentifiedVigilante, and you //are_very_quiet_and_shecretive_mosht_of_the_time_bu t_you_are_LOUD_WHEN_YOU_ARE_EKSHITED!!!// Your mask makes it kind of hard to pronounce your "s's", being so tight and all.

This troll's symbol is a symbol of good fortune. It also stands for "the blood revenge group." (Symbol 20:23)" Incredibly fitting! ^w^

Extra/tl;dr
Name: N/A
Age: N/A
Gender: Female
Blood Color: N/A
Lusus: -DECEASED-
Fetch Modus: Safe: If your modus deems an item incriminating/useless, it deletes it on its own to conserve space. After a long period of time has passed it will auto-dump everything you are carrying just to be safe. It requires a password of at least twenty characters to open. You must reset the password ever few days.
Strife Specibus: hookkind
Trolltag: unidentifiedVigilante
Typing quirk: //careful_and_sheparated//
Title: Thief of Time
Land: Land of Spikes and Gears
Consorts: Elves

**Thunder Reign** · 06-07-2011, 10:22 PM

>Be a guy, I guess.

Your name is Luquas Elchiz.
By all means and appearances, you are a perfectly normal troll. Which is to say, you're completely unremarkable. You have no oddly-shaped horns, no physical deformities or mutations, no bizarre personality quirks. You can't jump buildings with a single bound or shoot lightning from your eyes; to be quite honest, you're not sure you'd want to. But even as you sit in your average lawnring, with an average lusus and an average computer keyboard underneath your fingertips, one thing sets you apart:

You don't feel.

This isn't to say you don't feel pain, or that you don't feel the cold. You experience both of those quite well, thank you very much. No, what afflicts you is more of the emotional variety. Perhaps your thinkpan was damaged as a grub, perhaps this is a highly twisted psychic power- the reason could be anything, but the bottom line is that you are more or less a complete psychopath. Aren't all trolls, you'd ask? Not so. For all their bravado and mindless slaughter, for all their cruelty and wrath, they are still able to connect. They still fall in love, in hate, fill buckets and get in fights, catch that disease known as friendship. Not you.

You have never felt any sort of emotion towards another living thing except detached, morbid curiosity. An apt comparison would be that they are the atoms, and you are the nuclear scientist- they surround you, interacting with you, but you feel no remorse about splitting them up or smashing them together because you cannot comprehend that they are capable of having thoughts and feelings in the same way that you do. Trolls fascinate you, and you like to watch them crash and burn. Murdering them? Why would you do that? You get no satisfaction from killing someone with your own hands- it's far better to manipulate them into doing that themselves.

You have the somewhat creepy hobby of studying them like insects, writing down every scrap of information you can find on individual trolls and then using it to worm your way into their friends group. And it works, because you know why? You are completely non-threatening. You are an excellent actor, and your facade is nigh perfect. To other trolls, you are that one boring sap of a background noise troll, who can stick up for himself in a fight but if you approach him juuust right you can walk all over him and he won't mind. He'll deliver you food if you're too lazy to leave your hive, he'll let you practice strife techniques on him, he'll listen to you moan and moan about your quadrant-related woes. You aren't remarkable, to them- just some dork who wants to be friends, someone to lean on.

And then, in their moments of weakness, you give advice. And it's not good. You use all your knowledge of this troll, their flaws, and the trolls around them- did you mention your memory was almost photographic?- and you craft advice that sounds like it's smart and clever, but it's really designed to get them into deep shit. You'll advise a smitten troll to enact a plan that eventually culminates in the death of their crush, or their crush murdering them. You'll sweetly persuade an insecure individual that the best course of action would be to disembowel themselves in the middle of a crowded cafe. And when they fall for it, like they usually do, you'll stand back and watch with something that resembles satisfaction.

This... isn't to say that you're perfect at it, though. You'd like to think that you're smarter than these stupid trolls, but the fact is that your detachment from them doesn't stop you from having basically the same intellect as them. You've been caught out on your lies and trickeries quite a few times, to the point where you've had to completely relocate to another lawnring or hivestem city to avoid getting murdered yourself. Fortunately, your lusus- although completely uncaring in every other aspect, and nigh abusive at times- helps you move hive.

When you're not tormenting trolls, well, what do you do with yourself? Quite a lot of things, you guess. You tend to skip from activity to activity, getting bored often and moving onto the next; the amount of time you can bear to spend on something is directly proportional to how good you are at it, which would explain the number of fairly decent sketches littered around your hive. A lot of the time you just spend lying on your couch, staring up at your ceiling and pondering what it's like to feel for another troll, but you've never been able to comprehend it. In order to evade the drones, and thus avoid getting culled for your lack of relationships, you have gone so far as to... er, let's just say that you are no stranger to the term "bucket theft".

Your trolltag is otioseOtosis, and you repl9ce the first letter of the 9lph9bet with the highest single numer9l of 9ll, since you're 9bove most trolls. Not th9t you pl9n to tell 9nyone th9t!

**frolic** · 06-07-2011, 11:07 PM

Originally Posted by Thunder Reign

awesome

Suddenly I just missed you a whole bunch. ]:

**Thunder Reign** · 06-08-2011, 01:27 AM

I'm still here! I'm still being the same person!

look at me, updating all these trolls.

WHY CAN'T I HOLD ALL THESE TROLLS

(which is to say, I suppose: list has been updated to distoleonUndertaker, will probably be updated again tomorrow or so.)

Thread: trollslum eight. put your fantroll profiles here.

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