Cockblocked: a SBURB RP with a secret (Chickens)

[Lieutenant Fish]

Cockblocked

Introduction:

It has long been my dream to run a SBURB-based roleplay using my favorite animal of all, the chicken. You might think I am not being entirely serious, as chickens are known to have a silliness stigma, but I assure you that every ounce of care I can muster is being diverted to this project.

Of crucial importance will be conformity to traditional chicken behaviors. I will go into greater detail on this subject in the Rules section, but I feel that its significance requires that it be given special attention.

I anticipate a need for exactly six players, including myself, and will continue to accept and evaluate all applications until that number is met. Storytelling and general planning will commence as soon as the first application has been accepted.

Rules:

Stay active!
I’m talking two or three posts a day. I expect the plot to move at a brisk pace, seeing as chickens do not live as long as humans or trolls, and we will need to take that into consideration as per rule #2.

Be realistic!
Chickens are the core of this story, and I will settle for nothing less than total accuracy as far as appearances, behavior, and social dynamics go. Most people would believe that chickens are boring, and thus unsuited to serve as protagonists in a story of this magnitude, but we will prove them wrong.

Communicate!
An ambitious project like this will require a good deal of communication between writers. Setting up an IRC channel is simply not feasible, as I have too much on my plate at the present time to commit to another one, and I do not with to clutter the forums with a secondary thread. However, I believe this problem can be solved simply by encouraging all players to post as much spoilered text as is necessary in this thread.

Profiles:


You will find that I run a tight ship as far as applications and character profiles go. I have selected several important traits that should be included in each application, as you will see in the example I have created of my own character. Please note that this is the bare minimum of required information, and that you are free to inclue additional SBURB or chicken-related points, as long as they conform to both of those respective canons.

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Name: Bucky Gallion
Player: Lieutenant Fish
Breed: Ancona
Age: 5 years
Weight: 6 ½ pounds
Height: 12 inches
Flight distance: 12-20 feet
Egg production rate: N/A
Pecking order status: Top rung
Projected lifespan: 10 years
Likes: Food, females, crowing, and being in charge.
Dislikes: Cats, rain, farm machinery.
Title: Heir of Mind
Temperment: Cocky



Name: Gallusticus
Player: Blank
Breed: Friesian originally, now battery (powered) chicken
Age: 1 years
Weight: 70 pounds
Height: 12 inches
Flight distance: Too heavy to fly, obviously
Egg productionp cooking rate: 1 every 15 min
Pecking order status: Lowest
Projected lifespan: infinite
Battery life: 1 hour
Likes: orders, ones
Dislikes: Humans, zeroes, the color blue (especially screens)
Title: Knight of Void
Temperment: Robotic

I originally designed Gallusticus as a regular farm chicken yearning to work his way up the pecking order. But after hearing about the new One Application Per Player rule I felt I needed to reboot him (heh, pun intended) to make sure he stands out. I think he's much more interesting and deep now.



Name: Average Joe
Player: Hresvelgr
Breed: Regular Chicken
Age: 5 years
Weight: Regular chicken weight
Height: Regular chicken height
Flight distance: Average
Egg production rate: N/A
Pecking order status: Nothing special
Projected lifespan: Normal
Likes: Clucking, being a chicken, being delicious.
Dislikes: Foxes.
Title: Seer of Blood
Temperment: Regular chicken temperment

My chicken's build is kind of bulky. Definitely doesn't have the long, skinny neck on the base sprite. So I'll use a photo for now.

Name: Easter
Player: OrangeAipom
Breed: Orpington
Age: 10 months
Weight: ~11 pounds
Height: 16 inches
Flight distance: 1 foot
Egg production rate: N/A
Pecking order status: Lower-middle
Projected lifespan: 8 years
Likes: Big fluffy feathers, older hens
Dislikes: Fat jokes
Title: Page of Space
Temperment: Snooty

Required reading:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chicken
Very basic information, you will likely be referring to this page a good deal.

http://poultrykeeper.com/chicken-breeds.html
Here is an excellent source of information about chicken breeds.

http://www.dmoz.org/Science/Agricult...ltry/Chickens/
A veritable treasure trove of information, you may find it difficult to get through all of it.

Suggested reading:

http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/3829
This is a wonderful book about life on a chicken farm written by P.G. Wodehouse, and it is available for free. (Fiction)

http://www.everytopicintheuniverseexceptchickens.com/
Here is a brilliant little joke by Ryan North. I urge you to not take it seriously, as doing so may jeopardize the research efforts of another player.

[Dalmationer]

Name: Raymond Kip
Player: Dalmationer
Breed: Belgian d'Everberg
Age: 12 years
Weight: 650 grams
Height: 6 inches
Flight distance: 9-10 feet
Egg production rate: N/A
Pecking order status: medium-high
Projected lifespan: 13 years
Likes: Food, females, food, crowing, food, food and food
Dislikes: Cats, lack of food, loud noises, lack of food, dogs and lack of food
Title: Seer of Time
Temperment: cowardly (often referred to as being chicken.)

edit: bonus dancing sprite!

[Lieutenant Fish]

@Dalmationer:

I admire your enthusiasm in creating a sprite of similar proportions to mine, as well as the apparent ease you found in mustering all of the required character information. All together, though it pains me to admit it, this is a far better first application than I had hoped to receive. However, several glaring flaws present themselves, and I am forced to deny your application as it currently stands.

The reasons for this decision are as follows:

*In the image you provided, Raymond appears to be wearing sun glasses. Such a human trait is entirely unheard of in chickens, and simply cannot be integrated with the story. Besides, where would he find a pair of glasses small enough for him to use?

*Your choice of Belgian d'Everberg for his breed is entirely fine, and it shows at the very least a cursory knowledge of chicken breeds and an interest in using them as a character point, which is to be commended. Additionally, the image you created resembles a Belgian d'Everberg, but that should go without saying. However, the Belgian d'Everberg is a breed of bantam chicken, and thus should not appear the same size as Bucky. Both of these problems are elementary, and can be overcome by simple image manipulation, which is fortunate.

*Your tendency to repeat "food" and "lack of food" in the Likes and Dislikes sections leaves me with an uneasy feeling that you regard this project as some sort of joke.

[llamamiah]

Name: Dean Damon
Player: llamamiah
Breed: Appenzeller Spitzhauben
Age: 5 years
Weight: 4 pounds
Height: 14 inches
Flight distance: 15-18 feet
Egg production rate: N/A
Pecking order status: Middle Rung
Projected lifespan: 10 years
Likes: Food, females, flying, crowing, and mice.
Dislikes: Dogs, extreme heat, extreme cold, and storms.
Title: Prince of Void
Land: Land of Streams and Cold (Cold is the absence of Heat, which fits with Void)
Temperment: Flighty

[Lieutenant Fish]

@llamamiah:

Once again, I am faced with the task of denying an application that has clearly been given careful consideration.

*The Appenzeller Spitzhauben enjoys roosting in trees, and your Flight distance of 8-10 feet simply does not allow for this.

*Your choice of "dancing" as a practice for Dean to Like, while imaginative, has no basis in reality as far as I know.

*The Appenzeller Spitzhauben is descried on multiple web sites as "large", but yours is only 10 inches tall, well under the average for chickens.

[piester]

As a fellow Chicken Enthusiast, I greatly approve of this blooming RP

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http://img808.imageshack.us/img808/6...ckensprite.png
Name: Courtney Rust
Player: piester
Breed: Modern Game (Injected with blue dye as an egg)
Age: 3 years
Weight: 8 pounds
Height: 14.4 inches
Flight distance: 6-9 feet
Egg production rate: Unknown, as she is not kept for egg laying.
Pecking order status: Low
Projected lifespan: 9 years
Likes: Food, males, attention from crowds, laying eggs, fluttering, Attention from chickens of the opposite gender and chicks.
Dislikes: Dogs, cats, lack of food, lack of attention from crowds, lack of attention from chickens of the opposite gender, and loud noises.
Title: Knight of Repetition
Temperment: Friendly

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Additional Info: She often goes to expeditions as a "Show Chicken" of sorts, due to her odd blue colour of feathers.

[llamamiah]

I have edited my profile, hopefully it is up to code.

[Dalmationer]

How is this? I edited it a bit.



Name: Raymond Kip
Player: Dalmationer
Breed: Belgian d'Everberg
Age: 12 years
Weight: 650 grams
Height: 6 inches
Flight distance: 9-10 feet
Egg production rate: N/A
Pecking order status: medium-high
Projected lifespan: 13 years
Likes: Food, females, crowing.
Dislikes: Cats, loud noises, dogs
Title: Seer of Time
Land: Land of Grain and Poison (LOGAP)
Temperment: cowardly (often referred to as being chicken.)

[Lieutenant Fish]

@piester:

Your take on the concept of a chicken character is interesting, and far-out enough that I had to do a quick background check to make sure the process you described is indeed possible. It is, but I am going to have to discourage you from using it as a character point, seeing as it is a relatively uncommon one. You are welcome to join, as soon as you pass the Chicken Knowledge Aptitude Test I am currently working on.

@llamallama:

That looks pretty good. You can consider yourself accepted, upon successful completion of the CKAT, of course.

@Dalmationer:

What the hell is this? You changed his age to 12 years old! That's extremely old for a chicken, at least 60 in human years. That's it, you're definitely not allowed. To discourage you, I am instigating a One Application Per Player rule. Sorry, llamallama.

[Blank]

Name: Gallusticus
Player: Blapnk
Breed: Friesian originally, now battery (powered) chicken
Age: 1 years
Weight: 70 pounds
Height: 12 inches
Flight distance: Too heavy to fly, obviously
Egg productionp cooking rate: 1 every 15 min
Pecking order status: Lowest
Projected lifespan: infinite
Battery life: 1 hour
Likes: orders, ones
Dislikes: Humans, zeroes, the color blue (especially screens)
Title: Knight of Void
Temperment: Robotic

Hi, I originally designed Gallusticus as a regular farm chicken yearning to work his way up the pecking order. But after hearing about the new One Application Per Player rule I felt I needed to reboot him (heh, pun intended) to make sure he stands out. I think he's much more interesting and deep now.

I didn't have time to read all the supplementary material and I apologise if I've mistaken the tone of the setting

[Lieutenant Fish]

Name: Gallusticus
Player: Blapnk
Breed: Friesian originally, now battery (powered) chicken
Age: 1 years
Weight: 70 pounds
Height: 12 inches
Flight distance: Too heavy to fly, obviously
Egg productionp cooking rate: 1 every 15 min
Pecking order status: Lowest
Projected lifespan: infinite
Battery life: 1 hour
Likes: orders, ones
Dislikes: Humans, zeroes, the color blue (especially screens)
Title: Knight of Void
Temperment: Robotic

Hi, I originally designed Gallusticus as a regular farm chicken yearning to work his way up the pecking order. But after hearing about the new One Application Per Player rule I felt I needed to reboot him (heh, pun intended) to make sure he stands out. I think he's much more interesting and deep now.

I didn't have time to read all the supplementary material and I apologise if I've mistaken the tone of the setting

Accepted.

[Hresvelgr]

Name: Average Joe
Player: Hresvelgr
Breed: Regular Chicken
Age: 5 years
Weight: Regular chicken weight
Height: Regular chicken height
Flight distance: Average
Egg production rate: N/A
Pecking order status: Nothing special
Projected lifespan: Normal
Likes: Clucking, being a chicken, being delicious.
Dislikes: Foxes.
Title: Seer of Blood
Temperment: Regular chicken temperment

[Lieutenant Fish]

Name: Average Joe
Player: Hresvelgr
Breed: Regular Chicken
Age: 5 years
Weight: Regular chicken weight
Height: Regular chicken height
Flight distance: Average
Egg production rate: N/A
Pecking order status: Nothing special
Projected lifespan: Normal
Likes: Clucking, being a chicken, being delicious.
Dislikes: Foxes.
Title: Seer of Blood
Temperment: Regular chicken temperment

Accepted.

We only need three more, and we can start the initial planning now. Any thoughts?

[OrangeAipom]

My chicken's build is kind of bulky. Definitely doesn't have the long, skinny neck on the base sprite. So I'll use a photo for now.

Name: Easter
Player: OrangeAipom
Breed: Orpington
Age: 10 months
Weight: ~11 pounds
Height: 16 inches
Flight distance: 1 foot
Egg production rate: N/A
Pecking order status: Lower-middle
Projected lifespan: 8 years
Likes: Big fluffy feathers, older hens
Dislikes: Fat jokes
Title: Page of Space
Temperment: Snooty

[momatoes]

This is...actually either really funny or really intriguing. Definitely entertaining. Either way, I am going to watch the hell out of this thread.

[Lieutenant Fish]

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My chicken's build is kind of bulky. Definitely doesn't have the long, skinny neck on the base sprite. So I'll use a photo for now.

Name: Easter
Player: OrangeAipom
Breed: Orpington
Age: 10 months
Weight: ~11 pounds
Height: 16 inches
Flight distance: 1 foot
Egg production rate: N/A
Pecking order status: Lower-middle
Projected lifespan: 8 years
Likes: Big fluffy feathers, older hens
Dislikes: Fat jokes
Title: Page of Space
Temperment: Snooty

Accepted.

------------Note------------

It's been a long time since I set Project Cockblocked in motion- this topic barely generated a fraction of a percent of the action I anticipated- and the considerable amount of exposition in Homestuck between that point and today effectively guarantees that I will need to revise my plans if I wish to remain within reasonable canon parameters. By all means, set down any ideas and plans of your own for all to see, I encourage this, but do not regard them as "set in stone" until such time as I am able to devote some effort to re-imagining my chicken-based universe in todays more dynamic SBURB setting, likely this weekend.

[Dalmationer]

The first gaurdian of earth is a goose and jack noir is a hawk. this is my plans.

[llamamiah]

The Chickens actually have Sylladices, Fetch Modii, and Strife Specibi. It's one of the main points in SBURB.

[Lieutenant Fish]

------------Note------------

After much deliberation, I have concluded that it is still completely 100% possible to run a chicken-based SBURB rp while remaining entirely within Homestuck canon, and am ready to begin in earnest.

Dalmhater and llamalame, you guys have been rejected from joining Cockblocked, but are free to keep posting suggestions and engaging in discussion. Black, Hessvelger, and OrganAton and I will do the same, and our ideas will be given higher priority.

The first gaurdian of earth is a goose and jack noir is a hawk. this is my plans.

That's okay by me.

The Chickens actually have Sylladices, Fetch Modii, and Strife Specibi. It's one of the main points in SBURB.

That's okay by me.

[OrangeAipom]

When chickens go god tier, they get a feather-tattoo thing instead of PJs because chickens don't wear clothes.

[alexthewhite]

They should have sent a poet. I can't even begin to describe the magnificence of what has been accomplished on this thread so far.

[Lieutenant Fish]

When chickens go god tier, they get a feather-tattoo thing instead of PJs because chickens don't wear clothes.

That's okay by me.

They should have sent a poet. I can't even begin to describe the magnificence of what has been accomplished on this thread so far.

Thank you.

[OrangeAipom]

Do they all live on the same farm?

[Chwoka]

When chickens go god tier, they get a feather-tattoo thing instead of PJs because chickens don't wear clothes.

Well this blows my nudist chicken character concept out of the water.

[probableWizardry]

Oh god, this is the most hilarious thing ever.

Anyone got base sprites for this chickens/is alright with me attempting an edit of theirs?
Also, what about Roosters? Or perhaps something close to a chicken, say for instance a turkey?