TROLLSLUM CAFE XXI: Vanguard of the Trollsona Invasion

[Captain Whosit]

They're everywhere.

Welcome the Trollslum Café!

Our Guiding Principle: We are all fans of Homestuck in general, and of the trolls in particular. We like to make fantrolls, and if we like to make fantrolls, we love to roleplay them. And so, once upon a time, this thread was created as a place to bring new, undeveloped trolls so that players could flesh them out while interacting with other characters. The primary purpose of the Café is to provide a vague social setting in which characters can meet, mingle, and talk. It is a good way to get introduced to other characters that you can then troll on trollian/pesterchum, or get involved with in a more specific RP. It can also be a decent place to hang out.

Below are some rules that I would like you to follow when you are posting in the Café. Please read them carefully, whether you are new or old to the Café!

1: Characters and Setting

The Café is located somewhere on Alternia. Where exactly? Who knows, and it doesn’t really matter. Keep in mind that this place is located on Alternia (the troll homeworld which is populated by the troll young) when you are developing a character for the Café. Aliens, freaks, and mutants will not last long on Alternia!

2: Joining the Café

How do you join? Just post! There are no pre-requisites and no screening (for better or for worse). Just jump in, find someone who isn’t already in a scene, and start a conversation.

3: Joining a Conversation

Before you have your character wander up to someone and start chatting, check to see if the other character is already talking, and to whom. Sometimes two characters are having a light chat and you may be able to get away with approaching them. Other times, they may be having a serious discussion and would not appreciate the intrusion. Like real-life, think carefully before you walk up to someone and interrupt them, and if they ignore you or tell you to go away, respect that!

4: Fights
Fights are going to need a list of rules all its own. This may very well be one of the most important sections, so please read it carefully!

1) Avoid fights whenever possible! If there are any other viable options for your character besides “pull out a weapon,” do that instead! Yes, I’m sure you want to show off how “badass” your character is, but ultimately getting in a fight is just going to make you look silly and probably like kind of a jerk. Yes, you may be thinking that “trolls are violent pricks,” but remember that the primary purpose of the Café is to develop your character, and fights are not the best way to do that. This doesn't mean that you can't play a mean, provocative character, just know your limits!

2) If you must engage in a fight, please contact the other player(s) by PM or your preferred chat client to try and work things out before you both start throwing posts at each other. If you have an end result you are working towards, it is less likely that your fight will completely devolve into a “show them up” contest.

3) Follow proper etiquette! What do I mean? If you do end up in a fight, the way you describe your character acting is what may separate you from a God Moder and someone with class. Here are some dos and don’ts:

”I cut your character’s arm off with my sword.” Very bad! If you do something like this, you are inflicting an injury on another character without giving them a chance to respond or avoid. Basically, you’re an asshole.

“I shoot your character in the face.” Bad. It is worded in such a way that it suggests the blow already landed.

“I aim at your character’s face and fire.” Probably the best you can do. It explains your action and gives the other player an opportunity to dodge the attack, or not, as they wish.

4) Don’t get involved in someone else’s fight! Unless your troll is good friends with one of the participants, it doesn’t make sense for them to get involved in someone else’s battle. On the whole, trolls are not very charitable. Group fights are just a mess and a bad idea.

5) Don’t fight at all if you can help it! Yes, this rule warrants repeating. It is entirely possible to play a mean, jackass character without provoking a fight every time you talk to someone. BE THE BIGGER MAN (OR WOMAN)! If it looks like you’re going to start a fight, back off! Contrary to what you might think, you’ll earn more respect from your peers than if you start trying to beat the other character up.

5: Romance

Trolls have quadrants. Romance is gonna happen. Now, it’s not my place to tell you how to live your love (or hate) lives. However, I ask that you all keep things clean. If your characters are going to go beyond snuggling and smooching, take it to PMs, an IRC, or a private chat. I’m trying to run a respectable establishment, here.

6: Problems

Gotta face facts: Problems are gonna crop up. Maybe it’s another player, maybe a fight broke out and someone is god moding, maybe someone decided that it would be awesome to bring in the rainbow-drinker rainbowblood who’s gonna be the next empress and who is secretly the lover of all the canon trolls. All of them. If you have a problem with someone, contact them. Privately and politely. It is not good to make a scene in public. If you are particularly adverse to conflict, you can contact me and I’ll see what I can do.

Likewise, if I see something I think is a problem, I will PM you and try to straighten things out to everyone’s benefit. Note that I will ask you to withdraw or revise a character if I think they will remain problematic as they are. I want everyone to have fun, but I also believe that the fun of the many outweighs the fun of the few.

7: Rules Change

I reserve the right to change or revise these rules at any time with or without notification. So remember to check back occasionally to refresh yourself!

8: Fun

Have fun!

Or else!

Also, be polite, kids!

Archives

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The First
The Second
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The Seventh
The Eighth
The Ninth
The Tenth
The Eleventh
The Twelfth
The Thirteenth
The Fourteenth
The Fifteenth
The Sixteenth
The Seventeenth
The Eighteenth
The Nineteenth
The Twentieth!

The Precursor

[Flamerider64]

Ava left last time, I sort of didn't mention that, now she's back again.
She seems to have taken a liking to that darker outfit as a casual thing.

[Ocfos]

Meh, have a mute Azuria.



She sits down in a booth for herself.

[privateTenderloin]

And in walks a short seadweller girl who takes a seat at an empty booth and hums quietly to herself as she waits for someone to arrive. She orders some water and sips at it occasionally as she waits.

[Monster X]

That sure is a Mawych walking up to the counter, yup.

She reads a book. Dully.

[PaperHelmet]

While you watch the beautiful exchange between supposed matesprits, you cannot help but burst into tears. Its just so heartwarming. You have lost yourself to its timeless power of INSTANT EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWNS.

Projac [Overcome with tears of joy]: "OH GOG... ITS... ITS SO INSPIRING..." [He watches Dez accompany his matesprit to the backroom before collapsing into the pile of unfinished fried loops, his face contorted in emotion] "UWAAAaaaaaaaahhh haaahaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!"

[redRevolvers]

Roger walks back in. Turns out he didn't actually forget anything. Huh.
He sits at the bar and orders the usual.

[Paul]

Zagaya follows the group into the bar, and sits at his usual booth. He orders his usual beer.

[Overlard]

Yarrex wanders in and orders his half glass of water as usual. He sits at an empty table.

[Flamerider64]

Fuego comes in, and drops his bird off, and I mean his lusus, he hasn't brung Qwasi with him and started using more curious euthanisms. Ava delves into her notes when... the bird goes up to her.



caw caw cacaw :v



Que? What do you want.

Oh...
Do I know you?

[Overlard]

There's that thing again! It's making a complete mockery of balance! No horns and much too pale skin. You are not a fan of the hair either. Such things must be exterminated investigated and balanced.

You stare at Roger through your eerily shiny spectacles. Again.

[Ayaka]

Ebbria trudges into the cafe, looking around with a growing look of distaste. He had heard whispers of highbloods here from some of the lowbloods he bossed around, but save for a few trolls this place looked infested with shit-blooded scum. Scowling, he pushes his way past anything in his way to get to the counter, ordering a glass of tea. As he waits for it, he spends his time glaring at the lowbloods around from under his shades. Which probably makes him look like he's creepily staring, but whatever.

[redRevolvers]

Roger can practically feel the unending gaze directed at him.
He chooses to ignore it.

[Overlard]

One can not ignore the eery.
It's much too...

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYY YYYYYYY

[Captain Lhurgoyf]

Mazeni walks in, approaching Mawych.

"HI! I dont think weve really introduced each other
I'M Mazeni."

[Flamerider64]

I am sorry, my memory does not serve well after the whole incident with the eyes.

The bird looks at Fuego from where it stands and calls out to him.



bree! < :v

He comes over to see his bird bothering this exotic nursey type troll.



whAt, whAt is it?

The bird is jumping all over Ava by this point.

[redRevolvers]

It's getting increasingly difficult for Roger to ignore the stare. One can only ignore something that eerie for so long.

[Chasewithlasers]

Helloooo creep



Myophe walks in, looking for her (maybe?) new friend, or fanfic fan, or something, and quickly notices her. How does she know how Sillache looks like? ohohohoho you don't want to know
She quickly walks up to the seadweller, having hello and writing on her board.

| HELL(O) Y(O)U ARE SILLA(C)HE RI(G)HT |

[Overlard]

EERY

[Monster X]

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Mazeni walks in, approaching Mawych.

"HI! I dont think weve really introduced each other
I'M Mazeni."

Mawych glances up, but considering what she actually did earlier she is... not in the mood.

She backs up a few seats, mumbling.


((Overlard mah bud, the word is Eerie. Just an fyi))

[redRevolvers]

Okay, if this guy keeps that stare up much longer, Roger's head might spontaneously combust or something.
Do you want something?

[privateTenderloin]

Sillache smiles and nods to Myophe as she approaches.

Yes I uhh... am maam...
You're uhh... Myophe right maam...

[arcticInkpen]

Suddenly Zak enters the cafe and goes up to the bar, orders a drink, goes to a booth, and plops down it like he owns the damn place.

[Overlard]

Yarrex gets up and walks over to Roger.

| I h+v- n-v-r s--n + cr-+tur- lik- you b-for-. No horns, p+l- skin, whit- -y-s? |

Way to be a creeper Yarrex.

[Flamerider64]

Your pájaro is trying to tell me something.
Who are you, can you give me a name?



wELL, FuEgo Missus but i'M not surE whAt thAt-



Fuego...

Poco Fuego.
I... I...

She launches herself up and hugs him.

I never thought you'd have gotten on so far.

Fuego himself isn't having much of a clue right about now.

((Yeah yeah I'm developing amongst myself, I'm getting this arc out the way))