Queerentangled

[perniciousNumeracy]

-==>Queerentangled: Commence.


It is a beautiful day on the Planet Earth. It has just rained, and the bright, late-spring sunlight through the dispersed water in the air casts a lovely rainbow.

It is May 18th, your birthday. Five years ago on this day, you were given a name. It was something completely inane and you hated it. You have always been very much concerned with owning your own identity, and you have devoted much of your adolescence to understanding it in great detail.

So, since you're the expert, why don't you tell us who you are- from the bottom up?

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Gender, physical appearance, INTERESTS, name- it's all up to you guys. Be creative!

[frostedWarlock]

Female, modestly hot, country music and rollerskating, Sharon Tapia.

[Whimbrel]

Male, Not covered in rainbow garments, ice-skating and gardening ,Sparklewave Glitterwing

[Fuade]

You are the vaguely bird shaped cloud in the top picture.

[noxious]

You are Richard Reeds and you are useless.

[Plummet]

You are RuPaul and you are delightfully homosexual. Also, you enjoy crossdressing.

[Fakeimposter]

You are male, Jack Devinto, and you look like Jack Bauer and you like to collect seashells

[BigBurkhart]

You are a horse. You were named "Mr. Sparkly-poo" by a little girl. This has led to an understandable hatred of little human girls, but you tolerate them for your own safely. You enjoy freshly cut alfalfa, and dream of becoming a race horse.

[perniciousNumeracy]

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Yeah, I can work with that.

-==> You: Be you.



YOU are SHARON ALA DE TAPIA, and also respond to PAUL. You picked your first name to match that of SHARON LEIGH BRUNEAU, at the time your idol and still one of your heroes.

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You give your gender identity as BUTCH and consider yourself FEMALE-BODIED. You sometimes bind, but it's not a big deal for you, and on a MODESTLY HOT day like today, one extra item of clothing is ONE TOO MANY. You are, of course, not wearing RAINBOW-COLORED CLOTHING. Rainbows are for Pride, which today is not, and you prefer SUBTLE NEUTRALS for quotidian attire.



Your dream- well, ONE OF YOUR MANY- is to become a PROFESSIONAL ROLLER DERBY CONTESTANT. During the summer you ICE-SKATE to stay cool and in-shape, and that is in fact where you have just been. You have picked up GARDENING since moving in with your parents' HIPPY FRIEND during freshman year of college, and you ENJOY it. You have also picked up an interest in COUNTRY MUSIC, initially to annoy your godmother, but now out of a genuine fondness for the medium, as UNFORTUNATE as the lyrical content sometimes is. You identify as PANSEXUAL and are often to be found in DRAG, of both the KING and QUEEN variety.

Today is important for a couple of reasons. First, as has been previously stated, it's your BIRTHDAY! Second, you're expecting a mysterious package from a friend, and although you would never admit it, you are very interested to see what it contains.

What will you do?

-==>

[Fuade]

>Play a guitar refrain to the plants to help them grow.

[Whimbrel]

Plant a pumpkin plant.

[Plummet]

>WORSHIP THE DIRT. SWEET FLESH OF MOTHER JORDA HOW I ADORE YOUR FERTILE SECRETS

[perniciousNumeracy]

-==> Play a guitar refrain to the plants to help them grow.

That is an excellent idea whose excellence science has validated.



If there's one thing really worthwhile about your HIPPY GODMOTHER'S philosophy, it's her respect for the earth, the womb of Gaia, whose fertile secrets bring life to all.

-==> Plant a pumpkin plant.

Heavens, no. Those things are spooky and a headache.

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-----

I'm headed to bed for the night. I hope to be back tomorrow, though.

[frostedWarlock]

Dance like no one's watching.

Someone: Be watching.

[Fakeimposter]

Feel the urge to hit the town, looking for hot lays and nice conversation

[perniciousNumeracy]

-==> Dance like no-one's watching.

Hell yes.



Hell fucking yes. Nothing like dancing in the sun to make you really feel aliv-

-==> Someone: Be watching.

You hear a familiar musical chuckle.



She's watching you, isn't she.



Watching, and judging. God, that is so irritating. She always treats you like a child. You're eighteen now, and you're an adult deserving of adult respect. So what if you want to dance sillily sometimes? So what if you want to dye your hair pink? If that doesn't fit her definition of adult THEN MAYBE HER DEFINITION OF ADULT IS TOO CONFINING.



By the time you turn around, she's already gone, leaving a package on the doorstep.



Could that be the package?

-==>

[Plummet]

>GRAB THAT PACKAGE(bow-chicka-bow-wow)

[frostedWarlock]

Remember the quote:

"When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty, I read them openly. When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
- Hugh Laurie

Yes, you're pretty sure that Hugh Laurie said that.

[Fakeimposter]

Grab that box and plant it in the garden, and wait for the harvest season to arrive.

[perniciousNumeracy]

-==> Grab that package!

As you lean down to pick up the box, you remember a fitting quote.



"When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty, I read them openly. When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
- Hugh Laurie

Yes, you're pretty sure that Hugh Laurie said that.

Opening the lid, you see... is this a video game? You aren't much of a gamer. What was your friend thinking?

You pull out your phone and open up the Pesterchum app.

Pesterlog:

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boiSkater began pestering coyoteContrarian.
BS: is this a video game?
CC: So you got my package. Good!
BS: is that a yes.
CC: Yes, it's a video game! One that we're going to play! I'm so excited.
BS: in order
BS: why, who is we, and that worries me.
CC: 1) For the only reason you ever play games: To have fun!
CC: 2) Just you, me, and a couple of our friends from Tumblr.
CC: 3) I don't know why. Only good things happen when I'm excited for them.
CC: You know.
CC: Since I can see the future and all that.
CC: ;)
BS: bullshit
BS: are you even sure I can play this game? sburb or whatever? our computer's pretty ancient.
CC: Yes, I'm sure. Its system requirements are hella low.
CC: Go install it!
BS: you know
BS: i'm probably going to install it, play for five minutes,
BS: and never touch it again.
CC: Oh, I doubt that. It's pretty captivating.
BS: that was a double entendre.
BS: i can tell.
BS: i don't know what for,
BS: but later i'm going to look back on this moment with infuriated comprehension in my heart
BS: and you will pay for your punning ways.
CC: Yes, yes, I've heard all this before.
CC: Go play the damn game.
BS: well, since you asked so nicely.
boiSkater ceased pestering coyoteContrarian.

You have a bad feeling about this.

[frostedWarlock]

Break the game. There. Nothing bad will ever happen as a result of that.

[Varkarrus]

Fail to break the game.

[perniciousNumeracy]

-==> Break the game. there. nothing bad will ever happen as a result of that.



You are overcome with one of the occasional fits of destructive, inexplicable frustration that have plagued your life from your earliest memories. You take the disk in your hands and do your earnest best to break the damn thing in half.



Rrrrgh... dammit... fucking...

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you have to rip it turnways

-==>Fail to break the game.



The mood passes.

That is one durable game disk.

-==>

-----

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The first person to point out the various inconsistencies involving the size and shape of that CD gets an antimatter cookie, which is like a normal cookie, except actively harmful to you and will actually destroy any normal cookies you may already have that come into contact with it.

[[Edit: I'll be gone for a good seventeen hours after this, between sleep and an all-day trip. I'll try my best to update when I get home, however.]]

[frostedWarlock]

Eh. Might as well play it.

[perniciousNumeracy]

-==>Eh. Might as well play it.



You guess you might as well.



Going inside, you notice a note on the table, left for you by your Godmother.



"Maricela," it begins.



YOU DO NOT ANSWER TO THAT NAME



Notelog:

Maricela,
I know you think I'm some old fogey, but Luddite though I am, I know you need to be up to date. (Look in your room- happy birthday!)

Notelog:

Love, your Godmother!

You are too excited to take note of the condescending tone or the supreme dorkiness that comprises an exclamation point dotted with a peace sign. What could this mean?

You run up to your room and



OH MY GOODNESS A LAPTOP HOW DID SHE OH GEE ALL SHINY AND NEW AND IT'S ALL SET UP WHERE DID SHE LEARN TO DO THIS OH GEE OH GEE

-==>