Barty Anderson and Byrobot Appreciation Zone

[tynic]

DO YOU KNOW THIS MAN?



How about now?



How about now?



I am asking you if know the story of Barty Anderson, cult cable phenomenon?! The story of the greatest living (?) american hero: survivalist, paranormal expert and unbelievably snappy dresser. The story that was on everybody's lips for a brief period in the late 90s, and then again in 2003. And then again in 2007. And then again in 1974 (time machine explosion). There were times when you couldn't wander into a back-woodsman's bar without hearing the name Barty Anderson whispered in hushed, reverent tones. Now, his legacy has almost been forgotten - until today!

Barty Fever, as it became known, reached its low but imposing peak with an explosion of conspiracy sites, underground survivalist bars, above-ground survivalist bars, above-ground survivalist swimming pools, and a compelling series of 'zine publications which faithfully recorded the adventures of Barty, as dictated by the man himself.

The small but discerning audience thrilled to tales of derring-do such as Bigfoot's Boon, the Cave of the Yetis, and Barty meets Blackula.

But by far the most memorable, and most popular, excerpt from his memoirs was the penultimate volume - Barty at the Abominable Academy. Credited with reintroducing children and illiterate truck drivers to the joys of the written word, at the time of its release the hysterical fervour of his fans forced the already reclusive literary giant into a hermit-like existence. This tale of Barty's exploits in the yeti educational system struck an unexpected chord in the reading public. Audiences loved the homely, glacier-encrusted setting, the unexpected (some said 'hallucinogenically surreal') touches of magic, and, of course, the hairy but instantly relatable characters. Who among us could forget wise old Professor MacGrundle



impulsive, lovable Vincent



or Barty's closest friend and confidant, Mr Biscuits?



Sadly, little remains of one of the great success stories of independent publishing - all known extant copies of Barty at the AA are believed to have been burnt during one of the sadly prolific 'brew'-icide pacts popular amongst survivalists during the turn of the century madness.

But what, asks the discerning reader, what has this to do with me? Well I'll tell you.

Fanyetis.



FANYETIS



MOTHER
-EFFING
FANYETIS


Tell me, MSPA.
Tell me about your fanyetis

[Qiam]

i like his mustache

[Wigmund]

I am my own Fanyeti.
Except I'm not as hairy.
But I'm fat and ugly enough to be one.

[VALVejunkie]

fan

yetis

[Qiam]

someone should write a story where barty anderson meets slenderman

it would his last story ever

[ShyGuy]

i must start a larp session out in the state park nearby with every member donning a yeti-sona...

[Brenzie]

someone should write a story where barty anderson meets slenderman

it would his last story ever

Qiam. I want to bro fist you so badly for saying that.

[ThatDudeOverThere]

yes this is what I want

[Qiam]

someone should write a story where barty anderson meets slenderman

it would his last story ever

Qiam. I want to bro fist you so badly for saying that.

*BROFIST*

anyways this story would probably never get written

because not only would it be barty anderson's last story

it would also be the author's last story

0_0

[VALVejunkie]

MY FAN YETI


my fanyeti's name is urist he toils in the ice mines all day his favorite food is spiral sliced ham

[tynic]

YES this is GREAT keep them COMING
... mmm ham.

[waterbottles]

I don't have a fanyeti, but here's a fanBarty:

show spoiler

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[tynic]

as always, waterbottles is off the friggin' charts.

[crwth]

ah yes my fanyeti

croof wondersole

nary a care in the world, able to casually walk (with a spring in his step) over 10,000 miles without getting fatigued

contents of knapsack (constant):
one can of baked beans
a tiny, sleeping pet rabbit named hareington (always sleeping)(NOT DEAD!!!!)
hopes and dreams (two tiny forest sprites captured during his adventure in the sparkling glade)

also his whistled tunes are able to pacify even the most fearsome beasts (even other yetis!!)

likes: walking, sleeping, whistling, not being sad
dislikes: mean and violent yetis >!!!!!

[tynic]

croof wondersole

best yeti name.

[Qiam]

this is Jeffrey Facecrusher VI

he likes Firefly, knitting, and destroying small human settlements

[Esrever]

his name is gary

he is MY ORIGINAL CONTENT

DO NOT STEAL

[TCO]

Here is my fanyeti


His name is COT and his hobbies include angst.

[tynic]

every time a fanyeti is made, an angel sneezes.

These are all fantastic! Except yours, Esrever. Yours is awful.

[Esrever]

oh, how i suffer for my totally non-plagiarized yeti art

[SwariSexualPosition]

Here is my fanyeti:

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[/badpun]

[Derpy Hooves]

Oh shit how can I resist?
I can't!
Here's mine:

His name is Sir Van De Hallas the second and he's always fucking pissed off at all the snow.
Gog damn it. But of all things, he hates snow buildings the most. Not only are they made of fucking snow, they're also always in his way.
Oh before I forget it: He wears a vest because vests are cool.

[Tesseract]

His name is Zorthak the Defiler and he is the darkest and scariest of all the yetis. His diet consists mostly of humans and he gets all the yeti chicks. He has a super cool cave with like a million tunnels where he keeps his kills and the latest yeti video games and his club is a legendary club of pure darkness.

[Qiam]

omg tesseract your yeti is such a mary sue!!!!!!!!

[Metalbourne]

at Tynic's request, I've taken a break from my reading to upload my own fanyeti done in HP Lovecraft's favorite communicative medium. Heiroglyphics.

Bonus points if you can recognize what book I was reading.

No, Lovecraft was not the author.