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Thread: TROLLSLUM CAFE XXVII: Better than the Soaps!

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    CEO Extraordinaire Pootporri's Avatar
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    TROLLSLUM CAFE XXVII: Better than the Soaps!

    Note: Whosit seemed to be offline, so I took the liberty and made the thread. He's still in charge!

    Welcome the Trollslum Café!

    Our Guiding Principle: We are all fans of Homestuck in general, and of the trolls in particular. We like to make fantrolls, and if we like to make fantrolls, we love to roleplay them. And so, once upon a time, this thread was created as a place to bring new, undeveloped trolls so that players could flesh them out while interacting with other characters. The primary purpose of the Café is to provide a vague social setting in which characters can meet, mingle, and talk. It is a good way to get introduced to other characters that you can then troll on trollian/pesterchum, or get involved with in a more specific RP. It can also be a decent place to hang out.

    Below are some rules that I would like you to follow when you are posting in the Café. Please read them carefully, whether you are new or old to the Café!

    1: Characters and Setting

    The Café is located somewhere on Alternia. Where exactly? Who knows, and it doesn’t really matter. Keep in mind that this place is located on Alternia (the troll homeworld which is populated by the troll young) when you are developing a character for the Café. Aliens, freaks, and mutants will not last long on Alternia!

    2: Joining the Café

    How do you join? Just post! There are no pre-requisites and no screening (for better or for worse). Just jump in, find someone who isn’t already in a scene, and start a conversation.

    3: Posting in the Café

    A few guidelines for how to post here:

    *It is generally helpful if you clearly indicate which character you are speaking to if you are initiating a conversation.

    *You can quote a previous post to enhance the clarity of your response, but please spoiler images, and do not post quote pyramids. You can be infracted for this.

    *Indicate OOC conversation by double paranthesis (()), or double brackets [[]] if you prefer, or by some other method that clearly indicates you are speaking OOC.

    *Do not post only OOC chatter. Go to the Trollslum GenChat for that.

    4: Joining a Conversation

    Before you have your character wander up to someone and start chatting, check to see if the other character is already talking, and to whom. Sometimes two characters are having a light chat and you may be able to get away with approaching them. Other times, they may be having a serious discussion and would not appreciate the intrusion. Like real-life, think carefully before you walk up to someone and interrupt them, and if they ignore you or tell you to go away, respect that!

    5: Fights
    Fights are going to need a list of rules all its own. This may very well be one of the most important sections, so please read it carefully!

    1) Avoid fights whenever possible! If there are any other viable options for your character besides “pull out a weapon,” do that instead! Yes, I’m sure you want to show off how “badass” your character is, but ultimately getting in a fight is just going to make you look silly and probably like kind of a jerk. Yes, you may be thinking that “trolls are violent pricks,” but remember that the primary purpose of the Café is to develop your character, and fights are not the best way to do that. This doesn't mean that you can't play a mean, provocative character, just know your limits!

    2) If you must engage in a fight, please contact the other player(s) by PM or your preferred chat client to try and work things out before you both start throwing posts at each other. If you have an end result you are working towards, it is less likely that your fight will completely devolve into a “show them up” contest.

    3) Follow proper etiquette! What do I mean? If you do end up in a fight, the way you describe your character acting is what may separate you from a God Moder and someone with class. Here are some dos and don’ts:

    ”I cut your character’s arm off with my sword.” Very bad! If you do something like this, you are inflicting an injury on another character without giving them a chance to respond or avoid. Basically, you’re an asshole.

    “I shoot your character in the face.” Bad. It is worded in such a way that it suggests the blow already landed.

    “I aim at your character’s face and fire.” Probably the best you can do. It explains your action and gives the other player an opportunity to dodge the attack, or not, as they wish.

    4) Don’t get involved in someone else’s fight! Unless your troll is good friends with one of the participants, it doesn’t make sense for them to get involved in someone else’s battle. On the whole, trolls are not very charitable. Group fights are just a mess and a bad idea.

    5) Don’t fight at all if you can help it! Yes, this rule warrants repeating. It is entirely possible to play a mean, jackass character without provoking a fight every time you talk to someone. BE THE BIGGER MAN (OR WOMAN)! If it looks like you’re going to start a fight, back off! Contrary to what you might think, you’ll earn more respect from your peers than if you start trying to beat the other character up.

    6: Romance

    Trolls have quadrants. Romance is gonna happen. Now, it’s not my place to tell you how to live your love (or hate) lives. However, I ask that you all keep things clean. If your characters are going to go beyond snuggling and smooching, take it to PMs, an IRC, or a private chat. I’m trying to run a respectable establishment, here.

    7: Problems

    Gotta face facts: Problems are gonna crop up. Maybe it’s another player, maybe a fight broke out and someone is god moding, maybe someone decided that it would be awesome to bring in the rainbow-drinker rainbowblood who’s gonna be the next empress and who is secretly the lover of all the canon trolls. All of them. If you have a problem with someone, contact them. Privately and politely. It is not good to make a scene in public. If you are particularly adverse to conflict, you can contact me and I’ll see what I can do.

    Likewise, if I see something I think is a problem, I will PM you and try to straighten things out to everyone’s benefit. Note that I will ask you to withdraw or revise a character if I think they will remain problematic as they are. I want everyone to have fun, but I also believe that the fun of the many outweighs the fun of the few.

    8: Rules Change

    I reserve the right to change or revise these rules at any time with or without notification. So remember to check back occasionally to refresh yourself!

    9: Fun

    Have fun!

    Or else!

    Also, be polite, kids!

    Archives

    Last edited by Pootporri; 06-27-2011 at 11:30 AM.

  2. #2
    Welcome to the propane game Overlard's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XXVII: 101 Abominations



    Yarrex looks at the bald troll.

    | +lright, wh+t will w- b- pl+ying for? Fun or mon-y? |

    Workin' is for yella-bellies
    Hilariously out of context quotes.

  3. #3
    Malodorous miscreant. Mister Always's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XXVII: 101 Abominations

    >Mister Always: Fondle new thead- I mean, fondly admire new thread.

    Hmm. Still has that new thread smell.

    Anyway.



    whaddaya think we's playin' for? money, 'course.

    i don' mind keepin' it low stakes, though.
    Tijd is giftig.

    The phenomenal achievement that is presented by managing to be completely shit at two languages at once should be admired.

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    Ain't no air fighta! Flamerider64's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XXVII: 101 Abominations



    Fuego yawns again, so tired he's not exactly bothering to get up and leave already.
    He takes the time to mongwatch instead.

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    Welcome to the propane game Overlard's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XXVII: 101 Abominations



    | +lright, low st+k-s it is. |

    Yarrex digs around in his pockets, then places a few ceagars on the table.

    Workin' is for yella-bellies
    Hilariously out of context quotes.

  6. #6
    Malodorous miscreant. Mister Always's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XXVII: 101 Abominations



    low stakes 'ndeed...three caegars, fwoo. ain't sure i can meet that.

    Oh wait, yes he can. He just won twenty caegars from...

    Wait, he doesn't even know that guy's name.

    That's going to be awkward.

    if we's playin' low stakes, maybe we should ask th' orange spinebeast-haired dude over there t' join in.
    Tijd is giftig.

    The phenomenal achievement that is presented by managing to be completely shit at two languages at once should be admired.

  7. #7
    Welcome to the propane game Overlard's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XXVII: 101 Abominations



    | Sur-. Th- mor- pl+y-rs th- m-rri-r. |

    Yarrex has the best poker face.

    Too bad this is not poker.

    Dang it.

    Workin' is for yella-bellies
    Hilariously out of context quotes.

  8. #8
    Malodorous miscreant. Mister Always's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XXVII: 101 Abominations



    hey, spinebeast-hair fella. you feel like joinin' in?

    That's Fuego, in case it wasn't clear.
    Tijd is giftig.

    The phenomenal achievement that is presented by managing to be completely shit at two languages at once should be admired.

  9. #9
    Ain't no air fighta! Flamerider64's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XXVII: 101 Abominations



    Even before he was asked, Fuego perked up and looked about because he clearly matched the description.
    He wasn't exactly clear what it was, but he wasn't going to ask either.

    oh, surE, okAy.

    He stood up and stretched a bit, ready to come over.

  10. #10
    Malodorous miscreant. Mister Always's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XXVII: 101 Abominations



    nice.

    The GHOST DEALER is stirred into motion. It deals out six ghost cards, two to each player, naturally. And of course their values are randomly selected to be between 1 and 11, with 11 being an Ace.

    This is so obvious it barely even needs to be talked about.

    alright. hemononymous guy goes first, then you, then me. double down increase is a hundred percent. no items. final destination.
    Tijd is giftig.

    The phenomenal achievement that is presented by managing to be completely shit at two languages at once should be admired.

  11. #11
    Functionally Illiterate PrussianMoose's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XXVII: 101 Abominations



    Walks into the Cafe, it seems... different... newer, full of possibilities, She waves at Yarrex and takes a seat near the black jack table.

    hey, mind if i w4tch, or pl4y
    ????

  12. #12
    Welcome to the propane game Overlard's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XXVII: 101 Abominations



    Yarrex nods and starts up the game.

    Oooh, an 8.

    Now a 4!

    He decides not to press his rather bad luck.

    | H-h, your turn now. |

    Workin' is for yella-bellies
    Hilariously out of context quotes.

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    Bonus Level Todd Ingram's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XXVII: 101 Abominations



    Gorty gort gortum is still here.

    Still adorable as always.

    He's almost done with his milk.

  14. #14
    Witch of Touch conspicuouslyKalopsic's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XXVII: 101 Abominations



    Aequa drags herself back into the front area of the cafe.
    She looks slightly more awake now thanks to her fainting spell/nap/whatever--
    That or the coffee's finally kicking in.

    Speaking of which, she goes over to her booth and finds her cup. It's cold.
    ...She drinks anyway and stifles a BLUH.
    > View user's signature.

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    Malodorous miscreant. Mister Always's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XXVII: 101 Abominations



    a'ight, purple blood chick goes after spinebeast duder.

    She is also dealt two ghost cards.

    bettin's been set at three caegars. fer now.
    Tijd is giftig.

    The phenomenal achievement that is presented by managing to be completely shit at two languages at once should be admired.

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    Ain't no air fighta! Flamerider64's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XXVII: 101 Abominations



    Alright, he probably gets it.

    A 6, then an 8. Nothing special it looks like. He won't press.

    ALright, i'M donE, you'rE up.

    The fact that betting came into this was to be expected, he has ceagars to spare so...
    Last edited by Flamerider64; 06-27-2011 at 10:35 AM.

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    Functionally Illiterate PrussianMoose's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XXVII: 101 Abominations



    Sphexa's gives a sigh of relief that the game doesn't appear to involve bluffing of any sort. She lays a 5 and an 11 down on the table.

    i don't w4nt to pre22 my luck.... i'll end my turn

  18. #18
    Malodorous miscreant. Mister Always's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XXVII: 101 Abominations



    right.

    Martis just has this impression he's playing against a couple of rookies. Who shall say, though? Anyway, he's got a 6 and a 10. Could be better.

    hit.

    He gets an 8! Oh noooo

    welp, i'm busted.

    Sphexa is awarded nine caegars. And her own back, of course, but those don't count as winnings, do they?

    New ghost cards are dealt.
    Tijd is giftig.

    The phenomenal achievement that is presented by managing to be completely shit at two languages at once should be admired.

  19. #19
    Welcome to the propane game Overlard's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XXVII: 101 Abominations



    Yarrex don't be so friggin cautious.

    A 9....now another 4.

    | Hmmmm, hit m-. |

    A 7! What are the odds!?

    | I will b- sticking with this. Your turn mist-r spiky h+ir. |

    Workin' is for yella-bellies
    Hilariously out of context quotes.

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    Ain't no air fighta! Flamerider64's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XXVII: 101 Abominations



    Now he truly understands, thank goodness for low stakes. He rubs his hands together and recieves two.
    One 9, one 6. But this time he shall push the edge, however much that comes dangerously close to busting.

    wELL, dArk cLouds coME bEForE cLEAr skiEs.
    hit.


    He covers his eyes to endure the worst and he takes a 5.
    Okay. That's the same amount the last guy got.

    so... i'M guEssing i stick with this And End My turn.

  21. #21
    Bonus Level Todd Ingram's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XXVII: 101 Abominations

    Gortum looks around.



    Is there anyone in this cafe who ISN'T playing?
    He wishes he knew how.

  22. #22
    Witch of Touch conspicuouslyKalopsic's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XXVII: 101 Abominations



    Aequa would go over and talk to the troll with the glasses, but she lacks the willpower to move.
    Instead she watches the game from a distance, a zoned-out expression on her face.
    > View user's signature.

  23. #23
    Functionally Illiterate PrussianMoose's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XXVII: 101 Abominations



    oh wh4t the hell, two twentie2
    ????

    Sphexa lays down a 2 and a 5... what a low hand.
    hit

    she get's a 1, her face droops a little.

    hit

    an 8, 16 total... she might as well try again.

    hit for the l42t time....

    a 3, 19 total. One more try couldn't hurt that much.

    never mind, one more hit

    the 8 sends her way over busted. Oh well, you win some you lose some.

  24. #24
    Bonus Level Todd Ingram's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XXVII: 101 Abominations

    Gortum finally walks over to the BLACKJACK table, having looked up the rules on his grubphone.

    you mind dealing m-m-me a hand?

    He has the ceagars to burn.

  25. #25
    I'll unveil your flawed logic Strider's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XXVII: 101 Abominations

    >Ventus: Walk into the cafe

    He can't walk into the cafe because he's already IN the cafe you silly. He walks out of the back room and sits down at a table, waiting for something interesting to happen.

    "My intentions are what I make of them."


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