TROLLSLUM CAFE XXX: Thirty Threads of Fights and Flushes

[Captain Whosit]

Generously submitted by MostlyHarmless

29 threads
2900 pages
About 725,000 posts

Welp.

Welcome the Trollslum Café!

Our Guiding Principle: We are all fans of Homestuck in general, and of the trolls in particular. We like to make fantrolls, and if we like to make fantrolls, we love to roleplay them. And so, once upon a time, this thread was created as a place to bring new, undeveloped trolls so that players could flesh them out while interacting with other characters. The primary purpose of the Café is to provide a vague social setting in which characters can meet, mingle, and talk. It is a good way to get introduced to other characters that you can then troll on trollian/pesterchum, or get involved with in a more specific RP. It can also be a decent place to hang out.

Below are some rules that I would like you to follow when you are posting in the Café. Please read them carefully, whether you are new or old to the Café!

1: Characters and Setting

The Café is located somewhere on Alternia. Where exactly? Who knows, and it doesn’t really matter. Keep in mind that this place is located on Alternia (the troll homeworld which is populated by the troll young) when you are developing a character for the Café. Aliens, freaks, and mutants will not last long on Alternia!

2: Joining the Café

How do you join? Just post! There are no pre-requisites and no screening (for better or for worse). Just jump in, find someone who isn’t already in a scene, and start a conversation.

3: Posting in the Café

A few guidelines for how to post here:

*It is generally helpful if you clearly indicate which character you are speaking to if you are initiating a conversation.

*You can quote a previous post to enhance the clarity of your response, but please spoiler images, and do not post quote pyramids. You can be infracted for this.

*Indicate OOC conversation by double paranthesis (()), or double brackets [[]] if you prefer, or by some other method that clearly indicates you are speaking OOC.

*Do not post only OOC chatter. Go to the Trollslum GenChat for that.

4: Joining a Conversation

Before you have your character wander up to someone and start chatting, check to see if the other character is already talking, and to whom. Sometimes two characters are having a light chat and you may be able to get away with approaching them. Other times, they may be having a serious discussion and would not appreciate the intrusion. Like real-life, think carefully before you walk up to someone and interrupt them, and if they ignore you or tell you to go away, respect that!

5: Fights
Fights are going to need a list of rules all its own. This may very well be one of the most important sections, so please read it carefully!

1) Avoid fights whenever possible! If there are any other viable options for your character besides “pull out a weapon,” do that instead! Yes, I’m sure you want to show off how “badass” your character is, but ultimately getting in a fight is just going to make you look silly and probably like kind of a jerk. Yes, you may be thinking that “trolls are violent pricks,” but remember that the primary purpose of the Café is to develop your character, and fights are not the best way to do that. This doesn't mean that you can't play a mean, provocative character, just know your limits!

2) If you must engage in a fight, please contact the other player(s) by PM or your preferred chat client to try and work things out before you both start throwing posts at each other. If you have an end result you are working towards, it is less likely that your fight will completely devolve into a “show them up” contest.

3) Follow proper etiquette! What do I mean? If you do end up in a fight, the way you describe your character acting is what may separate you from a God Moder and someone with class. Here are some dos and don’ts:

”I cut your character’s arm off with my sword.” Very bad! If you do something like this, you are inflicting an injury on another character without giving them a chance to respond or avoid. Basically, you’re an asshole.

“I shoot your character in the face.” Bad. It is worded in such a way that it suggests the blow already landed.

“I aim at your character’s face and fire.” Probably the best you can do. It explains your action and gives the other player an opportunity to dodge the attack, or not, as they wish.

4) Don’t get involved in someone else’s fight! Unless your troll is good friends with one of the participants, it doesn’t make sense for them to get involved in someone else’s battle. On the whole, trolls are not very charitable. Group fights are just a mess and a bad idea.

5) Don’t fight at all if you can help it! Yes, this rule warrants repeating. It is entirely possible to play a mean, jackass character without provoking a fight every time you talk to someone. BE THE BIGGER MAN (OR WOMAN)! If it looks like you’re going to start a fight, back off! Contrary to what you might think, you’ll earn more respect from your peers than if you start trying to beat the other character up.

6: Romance

Trolls have quadrants. Romance is gonna happen. Now, it’s not my place to tell you how to live your love (or hate) lives. However, I ask that you all keep things clean. If your characters are going to go beyond snuggling and smooching, take it to PMs, an IRC, or a private chat. I’m trying to run a respectable establishment, here.

7: Problems

Gotta face facts: Problems are gonna crop up. Maybe it’s another player, maybe a fight broke out and someone is god moding, maybe someone decided that it would be awesome to bring in the rainbow-drinker rainbowblood who’s gonna be the next empress and who is secretly the lover of all the canon trolls. All of them. If you have a problem with someone, contact them. Privately and politely. It is not good to make a scene in public. If you are particularly adverse to conflict, you can contact me and I’ll see what I can do.

Likewise, if I see something I think is a problem, I will PM you and try to straighten things out to everyone’s benefit. Note that I will ask you to withdraw or revise a character if I think they will remain problematic as they are. I want everyone to have fun, but I also believe that the fun of the many outweighs the fun of the few.

8: Rules Change

I reserve the right to change or revise these rules at any time with or without notification. So remember to check back occasionally to refresh yourself!

9: Fun

Have fun!

Or else!

Also, be polite, kids!

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The Precursor

[Blank]

((Reposted to avoid confusion?))



He smiles warmly.
Yes. Let's go.

He gets from his seat, holding her hand.

[Strider]

Well, looks like Ventus has stopped bleeding now, but he's just going to stay put where he is, so let's bring Zorron in. He walks over and sits in an empty seat next to Solari and orders some alcoholic tea. Less expensive then straight alcohol anyway, and it tastes a bit better too.

((FIRST POST RESPONSE POST GET!
..................
GODDAMIT NAPPAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!))

[Katrika]

Hmmmm...steak and lemona<e, and cluck>east nuggets for if the ki<<o wakes u>.

[Ocfos]

--Wh-what..?-->
My--Matespirit--Left--Me--Because--I--Tøøk--Revenge--Øn--A--Guy--Whøs--Life--I--Saved--Tø--Then--Have--Him--Running--Øff--And--Being--Spøtted-->
Making--My--Superiørs--I--Repørted--Him--Ðead--Send--Me--Øff--Tø--A--Perigee--Øf--Tørture--Where--I--Was--Kept--Near--Ðeath-->

She sighs slightly and hasn't noticed Altaia nor Chrisa, she won't in this condition anyway.

[Steev]

Czapra casually strolls in, sipping her tea, and sets up shop near a window. The sign, as always, reads Learn your fortune - two caegars Ô

[Captain Whosit]

((Hey, Strider? Guess what? No one cares about first post shit. Or all those memes. Keep that out of here, please.))



=|==> ....F1ne.

Altaia orders steaks and lemonade for them, and begrudgingly orders the nuggets for the little wiggler in case she wakes up. Such a good BBFF.

[scintillatingMoniker]

((the first post of this thread is the most amazing thing))



That's a shame. Stqp cryjng.
Yqu're suppqsed tq be strqng. Shqw jt.

[Araiss]

((Spoilered because it's huge.))

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Thanks--Før--The--Øffer--But--I--Ðø--Nøt--Need--A--Ðrink--Right--Nøw..-->
Well--I--Helped--Him--Øut--When--He--Needed--Tø--Hide--Frøm--Ðrønes--By--Taking--Him--Øut--Intø--The--Førest--Tø--Hide-->
We--Became--Better--Friends--And--Eventually--Matesprits-->
I--Then--Gøt--An--Assignment--Frøm--My--Superiørs--Øn--Him--Because--He--Fled--Frøm--Said--Ðrønes-->
I--Repørted--Him--Ðead--And--After--A--While--He--Had--Suddenly--Run--Øff--Withøut--Nøtice-->
I--Løøked--Everywhere--And--Was--Suddenly--Taken--In--Før--Ðisciplinary--Tørture--Because--I--Had--Lied--Tø--My--Superiørs-->
I--Was--Kept--Near--Ðeath--Før--Abøut--A--Perigee--And--It--Felt--Hørrible-->
Wørse--Than--It--Søunds--Like--Actually-->
When--I--Saw--Him--Here--I--Gøt--Furiøus--And--Wanted--Tø--Get--Back--Øn--Him-->
Sø--I--Made--Sure--He--Cøuld--Nøt--Run--Frøm--Øuadrants--Any--Møre-->
Yøu--Save--Sømeønes--Life--And--Fall--In--Løve--With--Them-->
Then--They--Suddenly--Vanish-->
It--Hurts-->
It--Really--Ðøes-->

Despite her condition, she's actually telling the full truth.

And then Cignis comes over.

--..Yes..-->

Well...this brings Adinan back to the time he first heard the story..back when Devei and Zagaya were looking for a mercenary. So now he's heard both sides of the story. He takes a moment to look at Cignis and absorb his...appearance. He was huge...and big, then he ignores it.



I (/\n't s/\y I (()/\/\pletely un[)erst/\n[) [3e(/\use I'\/e ne\/er experien(e[) t}{/\t, [3ut I see y()ur p()int. W}{/\t I [)()n't get is }{()w y()u (ut }{is legs, I figure[) }{e w()ul[) }{/\\/e f()ug}{t [3/\(k.

Then he just takes another drink of his malt, he figured Azuria knew Cignis, but the guy was sort of acting like a dick, but in a good way he guessed.

[Katrika]

Chrisa starts to eat, and then notices Azuria mid-bite.

...

She focuses all her attention on her food. Robotic legs for Zag, Chrisa. Nyftie's giving you robotic legs for Zag if you accept her protection and don't kill Azuria.

[conspicuouslyKalopsic]

Aequa's smile turns into a beam.
She squeezes his hand lightly, and heads out the door.

[chewy]

This guy.

There are unconscious wigglers, giant subjuggalators, crying assassins, and fortune tellers. Oh, and there seems to be a silverware appliance stuck to this guy's back. Huh. Oh well. He goes and sits at a booth, promptly captchalogging anything metal on the table.

[MostlyHarmless]

Oh, well th@ seems a little str@nge to me, but I won't question the f@shion style of @ fellow h@-fri&.

He pulls a cigar out and lights it.

So, how @re you then, @@ron?

NOt bad nOt bad. NOthing tOO exciting lately, but I suppOse nO news is gOOd news.

Are we ever going to get an explination for the blood?

Oh well let's go check of Seva-AAAAAHHHH!!!!!



Jesus Christ! How hard did he punch you?!

[Ocfos]

He--Ðid--Nøthing--Tø--Fight--Back-->
That--Is--What--Surprises--Me--The--Møst-->
Maybe--He--Thøught--He--Ðeserved--It--Ør--Sømething?-->

And then Cignis' comment.
Azuria gets up and walks over to Cignis, she then extends her mechanical shin to compensate for the lack of height since Cignis is so huge, she then gives him a hard slap across the mask.

Piss--Øff-->
I--Løved--Nyftie-->
I--Ðø--Nøt--Need--An--Indigøbløød--Tø--Talk--Tø--Me--Like--That--Right--Nøw-->

She just stands there, keeping her face leveled with Cignis's hood while balancing on one leg.

[Captain Whosit]

Altaia, with her keen senses, had noticed Azuria, too, but didn't say anything for similar reasons. Anyway, better try to make conversation.

=|==> 5o.... Though it's kind of hard to think of something topical. Neither of them have done much these last few nights. =|==> Um.... Oh! Hey, we 5t111 need to 5et up another F1arp match 5omet1me! We keep gett1ng, uh, d15tracted.

[Katrika]

Soun<s like-

Chrisa notices Seveka.



Shit!

[Suds McFuddle]

Nothing too exciting, eh? From wh@ I rec@ll you c@me in here @ll covered in blood before using my h@ to cle@n it off. Wh@ever h@ppened to c@use you to h@ve blood @ll over you must h@ve been @ le@st somewh@ interesting.

[Captain Whosit]

Soun<s like-

Chrisa notices Seveka.

Shit!

Whereas Altaia could not give less of a shit.



=|==> You're... you're go1ng to try to he1p the 1ow-b1ood w1gg1er... aren't you...? No, she won't stop her. But she doesn't want to help.

[Araiss]

Adinan just..keeps drinking his malt while watching the slap, he figured the guy was an indigoblood due to the mask, and the fact that Azuria just said it. He gives a glance around and noticed Altaia and Chrisa..they weren't going to do anything though so he ignored them. Back to Cignis and Azuria..



I (/\n un[)erst/\n[) y()u're trying t() }{elp in..w}{/\te\/er y()u're [)()ing, [3ut y()u s}{()ul[) pr()[3/\[3ly st()p. N() nee[) f()r /\ fig}{t rig}{t?

[Strider]

Zorron quickly finishes his alcoholic tea and orders another. He then looks around him and notices that the person he's sitting next to (Solari) is a blue blood. He simply stares for a few seconds before making the most neutral sounding noise he can given the circumstances and turning back to his alchoholic tea.

[scintillatingMoniker]

...

That's better.

And then before she can say anything he gives her a hug.

[Katrika]

Chrisa takes out a first aid kit and tries to determine what's wrong.

[Steev]

Czapra notices the man with the "U" on his head and points a wee smile in his direction. She talks to herself, seemingly about her other personality:

Too bahd ahbout her little videogahme - looks like she won't be finishing thaht ahnytime soon Ô

[MostlyHarmless]

Oh that! It was nOthing really. YOu remember hOw I said this hat was pricier then it lOOks?



Well I was a little strapped fOr cash...



Anyway that's enOugh abOut me. Let's talk abOut yOu fOr a bit.

Meanwhile Sevaka was...



Still knocked the fuck out.

[Captain Whosit]

Just watching Chrisa fret over the dumb wiggler. Altaia takes a bite of her steak. Mmm, rare and juicy.