Word Alchemy (A Text Adventure)

**Renegade Electron** · 08-06-2011, 05:54 AM

> Hire a Bulbasaur to prepare sushi

From one of your many POKéBALLS, you send out a BULBASAUR and hire it to prepare various kinds of SUSHI.

> Hire a Squirtle to operate the fryer

You send a SQUIRTLE from another of the POKéBALLS and hire it to man the FRYER.

> Hire a Charmander to cook

You send out a CHARMANDER, from a third POKéBALL, and hire it to do the COOKING. It seems happy at the prospect of its new job.

> Blend-Tec Video + Your Need For A Drink Mixing Machine = Blend-Tec Drink Mixing Machine

You want a POWERFUL BLENDER, so you search BLEND on YOUTUBE and come up with the BLEND-TEC WILL IT BLEND VIDEOS. By combining one with your NEED FOR A DRINK MIXING MACHINE, you create a BLEND-TEC DRINK MIXING MACHINE.

You resist the urge to blend CAMERAS and RAKES.

> Hire a Samurott to cut food

You send out a SAMUROTT and hire it to handle CUTTING. It cuts SEAFOOD, SEAWEED, and CUCUMBERS for the SUSHI. It cuts FRUITS AND VEGETABLES for SOUPS and STEWS. It also cuts LEMONS AND LIMES to stick on DRINKS.

> Car + Books = Cooks

You combine the CAR of one of the BAR PATRONS with someone's BOOKS to create COOKS. They will work alongside the POKéMON in the KITCHEN.

> France + Your Name = Fame
> Glass + Story = Glory
> Such A Great Bar + Excess = Success

You combine FRANCE with YOUR NAME to get FAME, then combine a GLASS with the STORY in the BOOK to yield GLORY. Your BAR becomes well-known, and posts start apeparing on the BAR FORUM. Additionally, you combine SUCH A GREAT BAR with the EXCESS (of POKéMON) to create SUCCESS. OH, YEAH

> Image + Mortality = Immortality

You combine an IMAGE on the wall with your MORTALITY and get IMMORTALITY! That's...kind of worrying.

> Good Friend + Reviews = Good Reviews
> Good Reviews + Waiters For Your Bar = Good Reviews For Your Bar

You call a GOOD FRIEND, and you have a CONVERSATION. As it wraps up, you combine your GOOD FRIEND with some REVIEWS to get GOOD REVIEWS. Being more specific, you combine the GOOD REVIEWS with the WAITERS FOR YOUR BAR to yield GOOD REVIEWS FOR YOUR BAR. THIS IS AWESOME.

> Glass + Story = Gory
> Gory + Accident = Gory Accident
> Gory + A Book's Ending = Gory Ending

You try recombining the GLASS and the STORY and you instead get GORY. This will allow you to make something GORY. You combine GORY with an ACCIDENT (someone spilling their BEER) to create a GORY ACCIDENT. A WAITER carrying SILVERWARE subsuquently slips on the SPILLED BEER, falls forward, and is impaled by the SILVERWARE. The GORY is consumed.

You whip up another GORY and combine it with the BOOK'S ENDING to create a GORY ENDING. Hopefully not for you (wait, of course not, you're IMMORTAL.) A CEILING FAN comes detached and shreds the PATRON sitting below it, and your second GORY is consumed.

> Gin + Vagrant = Giant

You see a VAGRANT wandering outside the BAR, and combine some GIN with him to create a GIANT. He can't comfortably fit in the BAR, so he squeezes out the DOOR to get outside.

> Giant + Andrew Hussie = Giant Andrew Hussie

By combining the GIANT with ANDREW HUSSIE, you create a GIANT ANDREW HUSSIE. He proceeds to etch TITANIC PICTURES into the GROUND. SOLLUX recognizes himself in one and FREAKS OUT.

Inventory:

**epoxy** · 08-06-2011, 08:41 AM

Originally Posted by Renegade Electron

By combining the GIANT with ANDREW HUSSIE, you create a GIANT ANDREW HUSSIE. He proceeds to etch TITANIC PICTURES into the GROUND. SOLLUX recognizes himself in one and FREAKS OUT.

It looks like the BIG MAN has come... for a little one-on-one.

> Hire Sollux to manage your bar so that you can continue your alchemical career.

**JustAnotherUser** · 08-06-2011, 03:00 PM

Angry person + Troll = Angry Troll (Karkat)
Blind person + Troll = Blind Troll (Terezi)
Rainbow + Heavy Drinker = Rainbow Drinker
Fashion Lover + Rainbow Drinker = Fashion Lover Rainbow Drinker (Kanaya)

Someone else do the rest.

**ShadowOfFate** · 08-06-2011, 03:42 PM

Viewing Box + Bar Forum = Viewing Forum
Beef Cannon + Sburb (both disks) = Beef Disks
Gold Machine + Car (BMW) = Gold BMW
Deed to Mansion + Sburb = Deed to Sburb

**JustAnotherUser** · 08-06-2011, 04:33 PM

Originally Posted by ShadowOfFate

Deed to Mansion + Sburb = Deed to Sburb

>Buy lighter
>Burn the Sburb deed

I have my reasons.

**KawaiiMelon** · 08-06-2011, 05:17 PM

Apple Halfs + Computer = Apple Computers

**Renegade Electron** · 08-07-2011, 05:44 AM

> Hire Sollux to manage the bar so you can continue your alchemical career.

You want to continue your ALCHEMICAL CAREER, so you hire SOLLUX to manage the BAR and tell him to periodically report to you. You then begin walking around the BAR.

> Angry Person + Troll = Angry Troll
> Blind Person + Troll = Blind Troll
> Rainbow + Heavy Drinker = Rainbow Drinker
> Fashion Lover + Rainbow Drinker = Fashion Lover Rainbow Drinker

You combine an ANGRY PERSON with your GENERIC TROLL to create an ANGRY TROLL - in this case, KARKAT VANTAS. Next, you try combining a BLIND PERSON with the TROLL to yield a BLIND TROLL, who is TEREZI PYROPE. You see a RAINBOW on someone's SHIRT, and combine the RAINBOW with a HEAVY DRINKER surrounded by SHOT GLASSES to create a RAINBOW DRINKER. The RAINBOW DRINKER attracts attention by glowing. You then combine someone who is clearly a FASHION LOVER with the RAINBOW DRINKER to create a FASHION LOVER RAINBOW DRINKER, who turns out to be KANAYA MARYAM.

They're getting more weird looks than the POKéMON WAITERS.

> Viewing Box + Bar Forum = Viewing Forum

By combining the TV (a VIEWING BOX) with your BAR FORUM, you get a VIEWING FORUM. It seems to be a FORUM about the SENSE OF SIGHT. Odd.

> Beef Cannon + Sburb Disks = Beef Disks

You combine the BEEF CANNON with the SBURB DISKS to create BEEF DISKS. They seem to just be HAMBURGER PATTIES.

> Gold Machine + BMW = Gold BMW

You combine your GOLD MACHINE with your BMW to create a GOLD BMW. You probably won't drive it much, though - the weight of the GOLD will give it poor mileage and the softness of the GOLD will be bad in case of a crash.

> Deed To Mansion + Disks For Sburb = Deed To Sburb

You combine the DEED TO YOUR MANSION with DISKS FOR SBURB to yield a DEED TO SBURB, listing you as its CREATOR. E-MAILS begin to fill your INBOX, talking about SBURB.

> Buy lighter
> Burn the deed to Sburb

You pick up a LIGHTER for $5 and burn the DEED TO SBURB. The E-MAILS stop flooding in.

> Apple Halves + Computer = Apple Computer

You combine your APPLE HALVES with your COMPUTER to create an APPLE COMPUTER. Were this several decades in the PAST, it might have yielded a COMPUTER made of APPLES. As it is, though, you got just what could be expected.

Also, the APPLE HALVES were consumed.

Inventory:

**JustAnotherUser** · 08-07-2011, 07:52 AM

>Tidy your mansion, making some Space
>Space + Time Machine = SpaceTime Machine

**ShadowOfFate** · 08-07-2011, 04:20 PM

>Car + Laser Bullet = Cat
>Game + Cat = GCAT
>Car (BMW, gold) + GCAT = CarCat

**Murllyshevo** · 08-07-2011, 04:29 PM

Viewing Box + Time Machine = Viewing Time Machine (Clock)
Clock + Time Machine = Clone
Clone + Time Machine = Clone Machine

**Skelatox** · 08-07-2011, 04:57 PM

Originally Posted by Murllyshevo

Viewing Box + Time Machine = Viewing Time Machine (Clock)
Clock + Time Machine = Clone
Clone + Time Machine = Clone Machine

You are making a machine to clone an immortal. Are you sure about that?

**epoxy** · 08-07-2011, 08:08 PM

Originally Posted by Skelatox

Originally Posted by Murllyshevo

Viewing Box + Time Machine = Viewing Time Machine (Clock)
Clock + Time Machine = Clone
Clone + Time Machine = Clone Machine

You are making a machine to clone an immortal. Are you sure about that?

High-speed internet connection + Cloning Machine = High-speed Cloning Machine.
Automatic Teller Machine + High-speed Cloning Machine = Automatic High-speed Cloning Machine.

Does this thing need batteries? No? Awesome! Turn it on!

**Renegade Electron** · 08-13-2011, 06:08 AM

> Tidy your mansion, making some space
> Space + Time Machine = SpaceTime Machine

You quietly exit the BAR and head back to your MANSION, where you tidy up and create some SPACE. You promptly combine it with one of your many TIME MACHINES to create a SPACETIME MACHINE, which can travel through SPACE and TIME. Your TIME MACHINES are now OBSOLETE.

> Car + Laser Bullet = Cat
> Game + Cat = GCAT
> Car + GCAT = CarCat

You combine one of your CARS with a LASER BULLET to create a CAT. It goes to sleep. You combine the GAME OF MONOPOLY with it to create GCAT. The genetic code! You then combine the CAR with GCAT to create CARCAT, which is not KARKAT but a horrifying LIVING CAR that is VAGUELY FELINE.

> Viewing Box + Time Machine = Viewing Time Machine

You combine your VIEWING BOX with one of your TIME MACHINES to create a VIEWING TIME MACHINE, or more specifically, a CLOCK.

> Clock + Time Machine = Clone
> Clone + Time Machine = Clone Machine

You combine the CLOCK with the TIME MACHINE to create a CLONE (of you), which you promptly combine with the very same TIME MACHINE to create a CLONE MACHINE.

> High-speed internet connection + Cloning Machine = High-speed Cloning Machine.
> Automatic Teller Machine + High-speed Cloning Machine = Automatic High-speed Cloning Machine.

You combine your HIGH-SPEED INTERNET CONNECTION with the CLONING MACHINE and get a HIGH-SPEED CLONING MACHINE. You combine an AUTOMATIC TELLER MACHINE with it to create an AUTOMATIC HIGH-SPEED CLONING MACHINE!

> Turn it on!

Click.
Clones of you begin to fill the room.

Inventory:

**wlzrobert** · 08-13-2011, 06:47 AM

Instruct them to go around different times and collect the legendary artifacts:
4 kids
12 trolls
Skeleton Key
Triforce
Any spy kids gear you can find

**ShadowOfFate** · 08-13-2011, 07:02 AM

> Use GCAT on the Automatic High-Speed Cloning Machine.

**Renegade Electron** · 08-14-2011, 05:17 AM

> Instruct the clones to travel through space and time to find: 4 kids, 12 trolls, skeleton key, Triforce, and Spy Kids gear.

You tell the CLONES to find LEGENDARY ARTIFACTS for you, and give them a LIST of said ARTIFACTS. They pile into the SPACETIME MACHINE.

> Use GCAT on the Automatic High-Speed Cloning Machine.

You try inputting GCAT onto a small INTERFACE on the AUTOMATIC HIGH-SPEED CLONING MACHINE. Instead of clones of you, clones of ALL KINDS OF PEOPLE begin to pop out. You wonder how much POWER is left in the MACHINE.

**KarmicGambler** · 09-03-2011, 01:27 PM

spoon + cider= spider
spider + troll= spidertroll
rock + serket= rocket
top floor + that= tophat
monologue + bicycle=monocle

**Cybertails1998** · 02-09-2013, 06:07 AM

Use million$ machine six times
SIX MILLION DOLLARS + MAN = SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN

**wiseguy1337** · 03-12-2013, 02:36 AM

Your Bar Visiting Virus + Bug = Your Buggy Bar Visiting Virus
Camera + Your Buggy Bar Visiting Virus = Your Buggy Camera Bar Visiting Virus
Your Buggy Camera Bar Visiting Virus + Time Machine = CAMERA BAR VISITING VIRUS MACHINE

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