TROLLSLUM CAFE XXXI: A Tale of Too Many Ships

[Captain Whosit]

It's a whole fleet!

Welcome the Trollslum Café!

Our Guiding Principle: We are all fans of Homestuck in general, and of the trolls in particular. We like to make fantrolls, and if we like to make fantrolls, we love to roleplay them. And so, once upon a time, this thread was created as a place to bring new, undeveloped trolls so that players could flesh them out while interacting with other characters. The primary purpose of the Café is to provide a vague social setting in which characters can meet, mingle, and talk. It is a good way to get introduced to other characters that you can then troll on trollian/pesterchum, or get involved with in a more specific RP. It can also be a decent place to hang out.

Below are some rules that I would like you to follow when you are posting in the Café. Please read them carefully, whether you are new or old to the Café!

1: Characters and Setting

The Café is located somewhere on Alternia. Where exactly? Who knows, and it doesn’t really matter. Keep in mind that this place is located on Alternia (the troll homeworld which is populated by the troll young) when you are developing a character for the Café. Aliens, freaks, and mutants will not last long on Alternia!

2: Joining the Café

How do you join? Just post! There are no pre-requisites and no screening (for better or for worse). Just jump in, find someone who isn’t already in a scene, and start a conversation.

3: Posting in the Café

A few guidelines for how to post here:

*It is generally helpful if you clearly indicate which character you are speaking to if you are initiating a conversation.

*You can quote a previous post to enhance the clarity of your response, but please spoiler images, and do not post quote pyramids. You can be infracted for this.

*Indicate OOC conversation by double paranthesis (()), or double brackets [[]] if you prefer, or by some other method that clearly indicates you are speaking OOC.

*Do not post only OOC chatter. Go to the Trollslum GenChat for that.

4: Joining a Conversation

Before you have your character wander up to someone and start chatting, check to see if the other character is already talking, and to whom. Sometimes two characters are having a light chat and you may be able to get away with approaching them. Other times, they may be having a serious discussion and would not appreciate the intrusion. Like real-life, think carefully before you walk up to someone and interrupt them, and if they ignore you or tell you to go away, respect that!

5: Fights
Fights are going to need a list of rules all its own. This may very well be one of the most important sections, so please read it carefully!

1) Avoid fights whenever possible! If there are any other viable options for your character besides “pull out a weapon,” do that instead! Yes, I’m sure you want to show off how “badass” your character is, but ultimately getting in a fight is just going to make you look silly and probably like kind of a jerk. Yes, you may be thinking that “trolls are violent pricks,” but remember that the primary purpose of the Café is to develop your character, and fights are not the best way to do that. This doesn't mean that you can't play a mean, provocative character, just know your limits!

2) If you must engage in a fight, please contact the other player(s) by PM or your preferred chat client to try and work things out before you both start throwing posts at each other. If you have an end result you are working towards, it is less likely that your fight will completely devolve into a “show them up” contest.

3) Follow proper etiquette! What do I mean? If you do end up in a fight, the way you describe your character acting is what may separate you from a God Moder and someone with class. Here are some dos and don’ts:

”I cut your character’s arm off with my sword.” Very bad! If you do something like this, you are inflicting an injury on another character without giving them a chance to respond or avoid. Basically, you’re an asshole.

“I shoot your character in the face.” Bad. It is worded in such a way that it suggests the blow already landed.

“I aim at your character’s face and fire.” Probably the best you can do. It explains your action and gives the other player an opportunity to dodge the attack, or not, as they wish.

4) Don’t get involved in someone else’s fight! Unless your troll is good friends with one of the participants, it doesn’t make sense for them to get involved in someone else’s battle. On the whole, trolls are not very charitable. Group fights are just a mess and a bad idea.

5) Don’t fight at all if you can help it! Yes, this rule warrants repeating. It is entirely possible to play a mean, jackass character without provoking a fight every time you talk to someone. BE THE BIGGER MAN (OR WOMAN)! If it looks like you’re going to start a fight, back off! Contrary to what you might think, you’ll earn more respect from your peers than if you start trying to beat the other character up.

6: Romance

Trolls have quadrants. Romance is gonna happen. Now, it’s not my place to tell you how to live your love (or hate) lives. However, I ask that you all keep things clean. If your characters are going to go beyond snuggling and smooching, take it to PMs, an IRC, or a private chat. I’m trying to run a respectable establishment, here.

7: Problems

Gotta face facts: Problems are gonna crop up. Maybe it’s another player, maybe a fight broke out and someone is god moding, maybe someone decided that it would be awesome to bring in the rainbow-drinker rainbowblood who’s gonna be the next empress and who is secretly the lover of all the canon trolls. All of them. If you have a problem with someone, contact them. Privately and politely. It is not good to make a scene in public. If you are particularly adverse to conflict, you can contact me and I’ll see what I can do.

Likewise, if I see something I think is a problem, I will PM you and try to straighten things out to everyone’s benefit. Note that I will ask you to withdraw or revise a character if I think they will remain problematic as they are. I want everyone to have fun, but I also believe that the fun of the many outweighs the fun of the few.

8: Rules Change

I reserve the right to change or revise these rules at any time with or without notification. So remember to check back occasionally to refresh yourself!

9: Fun

Have fun!

Or else!

Also, be polite, kids!

Archives

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The First
The Second
The Third
The Fourth
The Fifth
The Sixth
The Seventh
The Eighth
The Ninth
The Tenth
The Eleventh
The Twelfth
The Thirteenth
The Fourteenth
The Fifteenth
The Sixteenth
The Seventeenth
The Eighteenth
The Nineteenth
The Twentieth!
The Twenty-first
The Twenty-second
The Twenty-third
The Twenty-fourth
The Twenty-fifth
The Twenty-sixth
The Twenty-seventh
The Twenty-eighth
The Twenty-ninth
The Thirtieth

The Precursor

[Captain Whosit]

Devei shrugs.

I dunno. If I wanted to tell someone I hated them I would just run up and smack them upside the head, not dance around it with dagger notes. Some people got to learn how to hate, it seems.

=|==> Yeah, no k1dd1ng.... You gotta be w1111ng to get 1n the1r face and me55 the1r 5tuff up.

=|==> Anyway, what were we ta1k1ng about before? Oh, how easily you forget things.

[Temperencia]

.:It is going thεiз samεiз as usual, I guεiзss:. .:Mεiзn arεiз still stupid and pathεiзtic, couplεiзs making out hεiзrεiз and thεiзrεiз, thεiз usual cafεiз fights, not much has changεiзd:. .:By what you just said, I assumεiз you wεiзrεiз onεiз of thεiз pεiзoplεiз who camεiз hεiзrεiз a long timεiз ago?:.

[PrussianMoose]

((reposted for ease of access))



Sphexa waves farewell to her conversational partner.
Then there was a Yarrex, a Yarrex in a completely different outfit than normal.
She walks over to him.

evening!!!! where'd you find th4t one????

[Flamerider64]

Fuego finally takes the mirror off him and looks.

Yep, definitely threefold.
Freak.

My MAtEsprit doEsn't know this.
i sort oF hAd A bit oF My EyELid covEring it.

i-
i cAn't rEMEMEr whAt it doEs, thAt's thE EMbArAssing bit.

[insaneJester]

>Samael: Glance around the cafe again before turning back to the books

[Monster X]

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She touched him on the shoulder?? This is probably a trap. Doulos thinks that maybe this girl is going to try and get revenge on him for his creeping on one of her friends. Anything is possible, really.

He brightens up his face.

<<< Sørry abøut the scøwling and sniffing.
<<< I have a little cøld right nøw.
<<< I am Døuløs Cøncit, the herø øf the peøple.
<<< I prøtect the weak.

He sits across from her and begins plotting.

Aquefo smiles.



"Real-ly? T-hat's amazin-g!"

She moves around to sit next to Duolos.

"Here, let me keep you war-m. No hero deser-ves to be weak."

She proceeds to put her arms around him.

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v^v^bro...?^v^v

Casket looks around. Suddenly, his bro is gone. This makes Casket feel a little bad. Whoops.

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v^v^...bro? holy shhith. where did you go? look, i'm shorry, i wash kidding, okay?^v^v

Seems like he went a liiiiiittle too far.

Coffin isn't crying at their hive.

Nope.

R-really...? oh... it must really be special to her then...

Lignya kinda hugs it, then looks up at Peprer.

So um... is there anything... you think i might want to know...?

Peprer thinks for a while.



"Mmm...

Nothaing Ai can thaink of at the moment.

Oh! Eiou know Kreilta and Ai share a haivestem raight?"

[LandOfFantrolls]

Enter the Cafe'. Xmiret does so, hoping to find her new matesprit here, whom she was missing~

[MostlyHarmless]

((Reeeeepost))



Likewise. My name's Stifup. Stifup Perlip.



Don't call me Stify.



X=Aaaaaahhhh=X
X=What=should=I=do?=X
X=What=should=I=do?=X
X=Should=I=go=over=and=say=something?=X
X=Should=I=poke=her=in=the=eye?=X
X=Or=put=laxitives=in=her=drink?=X
X=What=should=I=do=Mr=Snuffles?=X




..................

X=WHAT=DO=YOU=MEAN=YOU=DON'T=KNOW?!=D:=X

[scintillatingMoniker]

H<h, sounds /\bout th< s/\m<.>
Y</\h, I m<t my k-

don't say "my kids" she'll think you're weird for looking after children

W<ll, I m<t /\ lot of fri<nds h<r<.>
Uh, wh/\t /\bout you?>

[Strider]

Ventus sees Yarrex come in and sit down. He waves at him and offers a greeting from his corner booth.
"SUP YARREX!"
Geez Ventus, what's with the yelling! Don't you know how to walk over to people and greet them! >_<9

[aphoticConniver]

It appears there is a large hat floating a few feet away from Plader. Curious.

[Pootporri]

v^v^...shhith.^v^v

And then Casket made a break for the hive as well!

Bye Casket.

[insaneJester]

>Samael: Spot the familiar highblood and wave her over to the bar

[SumiumOxide]

Actually, Krylta only lives a few floors down from her.

Oh... so that means... we share a hivestem also...?

[Overlard]

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Something about how I would cut anyone who laughed at you in half. Or, if you didn't want them dead for some reason, just give them a verbal smackdown.

Another shrug.

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| I do not r-m-mb-r. M+yb- Owli- got it for m-? +ll I know is th+t it w+s in my clos-t. Wh+t do you think of it? |

Then Ventus.
| H-llo +g+in V-ntus. | He answers him from his own table, then turns back to Sphexa.

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>Asiron: Be bored

He's on it. Bored Asiron is bored.

[LandOfFantrolls]

>Xmiret: Go over and sit next to Sammy~!
O0o Sammy~! o0O

[inexplicableSigns]

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA! гребаный кошмары! я чувствую себя ужасно мне нужно пить кто-то заставить меня пить или что-то о, Боже, где мой смотритель Я так смущен и сердит и приезда Число! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
Hey, I think Reisen fell asleep in the cafe. He's awake now.


Button also fell asleep in the cafe. He, however, is simply staring into space blankly and shivering every few seconds.
Derp.

[Araiss]

Well, looks like he finally accepted it.



I'm sure your matesprit wouldn't mind, no. They would probably accept, yes accept it. That's what I think, yes think. Um...would your morail know?

[insaneJester]

>Reunite with your- Wait... Why would reenact that horrible scene? Just hug her lovingly. And pray she doesn't ask about your arms.
"Did you sleep okay?"

[Monster X]

Actually, Krylta only lives a few floors down from her.

Oh... so that means... we share a hivestem also...?

Peprer blinks.



"Woah, waait, we're ain the same haivestem? That's even cooler! I laive ain the basement, run the heating systems and stuff! Eiou could totallei vaisait sometaime aif eiou laike!"

[silentSadist]

Alarus rode into the cafe on the back of her oversized cat lusus. She giggled as she was dropped into a booth, as this was her first time coming to the cafe.
[COLOR="rgb(34, 177, 76)"]"II hoopee theey haavee suugaary thiings heeree~"[/COLOR]

[Captain Whosit]

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Something about how I would cut anyone who laughed at you in half. Or, if you didn't want them dead for some reason, just give them a verbal smackdown.

Another shrug.

=|==> Oh, r1ght. Thank5.... And she manages to refrain from blushing.

=|==> But 1 can take care of my5e1f, you know! You don't have to 5woop 1n to "5ave" me....

Then some loud obnoxious yelling by some weirdo in a stupid hat.



=|==> Geez, 5hut up! 5ome peop1e are try1ng to have a conver5at1on! Empathy? What's that?

[Temperencia]

Paradi thinks for a moment. Should she really be saying that she mostly discriminates men towards him now that she went to the cafe? No, that's going to probably piss him off..



.:Thεiз mεiзn hεiзrεiз arεiз rudεiз and disgusting:.

Oh.

.:I attεiзmptεiзd to at lεiзast havεiз a convεiзrsation with thεiзm, and thεiзy εiзnd up doing somεiзthing vilεiз:.

She doesn't seem to notice the fact that the person she's talking to is a guy, but assumes he's an "it".

[Katrika]

Merope enters the cafe, smelling bad.