[U4G] {Text} Diseased Imaginations

[CheeseDeluxe]

You are a voice in a young boy's head, who is in his rather large basement. The basement was recently furnished. New furniture has been placed in the room, as if it were some sort of a game room. First off, there are actually tiles in the basement. The ceiling's been painted white, as well as the walls. You can almost smell the paint over the chicken nuggets in the newly modeled oven. The microwave and the fridge are both chrome. The chairs are grey themselves, and quite comfortable as well. The best part? They're oversized. The coffee table in the middle of the room is also chrome, for reasons unknown. In front of the coffee table is a TV stand, full of game systems, game guides, and magazines. On the TV stand are several sensors and a 50" widescreen TV. There are games and toys everywhere in the basement, as well as a minibar.

You can almost hear Lady Gaga's "Disco Heaven" as you walk in. Nay, you're certain -
that's just the speakers all over the room.

While it would seem you are here for leisure, he is not. He...wait, of course he is. He is entering a Monopoly tournament, (almost too) conveniently scheduled for five minutes from now in this exact basement.

So for right now, you're rocking out to songs nobody's heard of by artists everyone
has heard of, while he's sitting impatiently.


But wait, you're not just a voice in this boy's head. You are also a voice in a teenage girl, trapped in a room with another teenage girl. You're not absolutely certain why, but you're pretty sure that other person is of importance. She said she's gotten hold of some magic...or so she says. Well, it's not your business. Right now, you really need to focus on your escape.

You can almost hear "Friday" in the room. Maybe this is a torture chamber?

However, you're also Isaiah Mustafa, the "Old Spice Guy". You're in the Cameo Villas, trying to sell some Old Spice to celebrities and those of fame. You...aren't as manly as you seem on TV, so it hasn't been going well. You may not be as manly in real life as in the Old Spice commercials, but you're still a former wide receiver, damn it.

They might not know it, but you're embezzling the money you're earning from selling Old Spice. You are actually a Class A scientist, developing a new Manly Ray. Anyone who gets shot with it will become 200% more manly forever. You've been meaning to get some parts for it, but you've been coming up short, cashwise. So yes, Old Spice will do for now. It's quite manly.

So manly.

*whistles*

You can almost hear the Old Spice jingle. Oh, wait, that's just you.

So, what now?
>____________________

show spoiler

hide spoiler

You don't get to issue commands to the girl or boy, but you do get to tell Isaiah what to do. For the girl and boy, it's mostly first-person perspective.

Everything will make sense. In due time, my friends.

-------------------------------------------------------------

So yeah, this is my entry for the U4G contest hosted by OldManRupee. This will go somewhere, don't worry.

[OldManRupee]

Check on the current status of your disappearing/reappearing pony.

[CheeseDeluxe]

Check on the current status of your disappearing/reappearing pony.

((This is Isaiah, no?))

[OldManRupee]

Sorry!

Isaiah: Check on the current status of your disappearing/reappearing pony.

[CheeseDeluxe]

Boy

==>

You tell the boy to dilly-dally. He's rather shocked at the sudden voice appearing in his head.
"W-what was that?"
"Your inner voice, dummy."
"Where are you coming from!?"
"...I'm your inner voice. You figure that out."
"U-uh, MOOOOOM!? I'm hearing things!!"

This isn't going anywhere, but at least you're killing time.

Girl

==>

You tell the girl to look around.
"What was that?" the girl asks.
"I didn't say anything..." the other girl says.
"I apologize; I'm pretty sure I'm going insane here. I might be hearing things."
"That depends on your definition of 'hearing'."
"Who the hell are you and how did you get in my head!?"
"...are you okay?"
"...y-yeah, I'm fine."
"Do me a favor and look around the room, please?"
"Uh, the entire room is barren and blank, save for a paragraph or two written on the wall--"
"Who are you talking to!?"
"...no one..."

Well, that went over smoothly.

Isaiah

Isaiah: Check on the current status of your disappearing/reappearing pony.

Your pony? It isn't here right now. It's getting its mane scrubbed after that one accident with the stunt man...

...God, that guy is an IDIOT.

[Niall]

My head hurts. OK,

Girl: Ignore that voice and look around.
Boy: Ditto.

[The One Guy]

> Girl: If you keep responding to us vocally you'll appear crazy! Please continue doing so.

[CheeseDeluxe]

Boy

==>

"You had better be prepared for this stupid tournament."
"...o...kay?"
"Mein gott, what a freakin' waste of time. Why are you even hosting this? What's in it for you?"
"I'm pretty sure $50,000 is a nice prize. T-shirts are nice to wear, too."
"T-shirts? Say whaaaat?"

This just got much more interesting.

Girl

> Girl: If you keep responding to us vocally you'll appear crazy! Please continue doing so.

"So, if it's detrimental to my success, why do you want me to do it?"
"Okay, you're definitely going crazy. I'm gonna find a way out of here."
*bash* *bash*
"Damn it, what the hell are the walls made out of? Concrete?"

Isaiah

==>

Right then. On you go, selling Old Spice. Oh, hey, here comes a customer. He appears to be a giant nerd, holding a ASUS Netbook.

Pff.

[OldManRupee]

Boy: get ready to cheat your way to the prize!

Girl: check pockets for clues.

Old Spice: Keep smelling so good. Keep it up.

[CheeseDeluxe]

Boy

Boy: get ready to cheat your way to the prize!

"You loaded the dice, right? Please tell me you loaded the dice."
"Nah."
"...did you rig the amount of houses set or anything?"
"Who needs to?"
"...aw, crap!"
"Why would I cheat?"
The boy dons his sunglasses.
"I'm just that awesome."

You don't have a good feeling about this.

Girl

Girl: check pockets for clues.

"You heard me. Dig through 'em."
"Let's see here...a ROUND KEY, some BUBBLE GUM, a PHONE, and some BULLETS."
"Why are you SHOUTING certain WORDS?"

Isaiah

Old Spice: Keep smelling so good. Keep it up.

You are NOT the Old Spice. However, it does smell really nice.
"Hey man, can I get some Old Spice? Or a signed picture of you? *sniff*" the geek asks.

[OldManRupee]

Isaiah: Kick that geek in the face. Turning him into a manly man in the process.

[littlebeasti]

@boy: "Well, here's hoping you have ALL THE LUCK, kid. *mental eyeroll*"
@girl: "Wait, your sis has magic? Tell her to fireball us outta here or something!"
Isaiah: Tell the geek he can get a video filmed with you, if he pays you a couple thousand dollars.

[CheeseDeluxe]

Boy

@boy: "Well, here's hoping you have ALL THE LUCK, kid. *mental eyeroll*"

"Hey, I'm not called "Boxcars Turner" for nothing. Oh, here comes a few people."
Several small figures enter the basement, commenting on the nice atmosphere. Turner invites them to sit down and have a glass of cola, to relax them. (Pff. Yeah, right.) They start to have a conversation about the coming tournament. Following the small people are several camera crew members, setting up lights and calling in "makeup".

Who knows?

Girl

@girl: "Wait, your sis has magic? Tell her to fireball us outta here or something!"

"I...don't have a sister. If you mean What's-Her-Name over there, she might not have the magic to do so.
"I probably do have the magic. And mind you, I have a name..."
"...and quit talking to yourself, Crazy. Anyway, what do you want?"
"I have a name too! That's certainly not it! Anyway, the voi--err, I wanna see if you can use fireballs."
"...I dunno. Let me see what I can do..."
The other girl gets up and walks to another corner of the room, flailing her hands everywhere.

Isaiah

Isaiah: Tell the geek he can get a video filmed with you, if he pays you a couple thousand dollars.

Isaiah: Kick that geek in the face. Turning him into a manly man in the process.

You tell the geek he can be filmed with you for a couple grand. He says no.

You then roundhouse kick him in the face. He falls straight to the ground.
*nudge*
*nudgenudgenudge*

...crap.

[dexexe1234]

>Isaiah: RUN! You KILLED a man CHUCK NORRIS STYLE!... Wait, that is so badass, the police should AWARD you for doing that! Uh... Im conflicted now...

[The One Guy]

> Boy: Scout out the competition.
> Girl: Your name is Isabella Red. Nope, don't try to argue; that's your name.
> Isaiah: Check if the geek's alive.

[Bardic]

> Isaiah: Don't panic. You just need to do two things: one, find out if he's really dead, and two, make it look like an accident if he is. You can handle this... you're a MAN!
> Other Girl: Fail to produce magic, then realize that you've given your evidently crazy cellmate the power to launch fireballs.
> Boy: Be the top hat in Monopoly. You're always the top hat. It's the best kind of hat, and you have a large collection hidden in your closet.

[Whimbrel]

Girl: Read paragraphs on wall.

[OldManRupee]

Isaiah: Loot the corpse for any cold hard cash.

[CheeseDeluxe]

Turner

> Boy: Scout out the competition.

"Sure. Uh...there's a few guys of unremarkable nerdiness; a couple of girls who keep talking to each other about Josh; some senior citizens; a slow, obese pedophile with Cheetos; a businessman, some brokers..."

"Also, half the people here are giving me a weird look, so if you can stop making me talk to you..."

> Boy: Be the top hat in Monopoly. You're always the top hat. It's the best kind of hat, and you have a large collection hidden in your closet.

"The tournament hasn't even started yet. Duly noted, however."
"Dude, who are you talking to!?"

Girl

> Girl: Your name is Isabella Red. Nope, don't try to argue; that's your name.

"I'm arguing. It's Rebecca Redd, not Isabella. Yes, my parents loved alliteration."
"Seriously, stop it."

> Other Girl: Fail to produce magic, then realize that you've given your evidently crazy cellmate the power to launch fireballs.

"Uh...I'm not her."
"Damn right. I'm not insane."

Girl: Read paragraphs on wall.

"Hey, what's that say on the wall?"
*mutters "I don't know."*
"Alright, what do we have here..."

sup bipches
hous it goin
im just chillin
relaxin all cool
but enough of that
i just wanted to say that the sock ruse was a distaction
i have teh baots now
you two are traped unles you can make your essape

doors will open in the room if you can magane to FINE them
good luck

ps
somtimes they're are RULES to be had
this room is curantly full of LAZER BEAMS that activat on detectshun of MAGICS

until you find the first door
i would not shoot fuckin firebols out of your fuckin hans

"...well then. Hard to believe I almost killed the both of us."

Isaiah

>Isaiah: RUN! You KILLED a man CHUCK NORRIS STYLE!... Wait, that is so badass, the police should AWARD you for doing that! Uh... Im conflicted now...

Thanks for the conflicted feelings, ponyface.

> Isaiah: Check if the geek's alive.

...unconscious, but still alive. I will now lay down some Black Forest cake.

> Isaiah: Don't panic. You just need to do two things: one, find out if he's really dead, and two, make it look like an accident if he is. You can handle this... you're a MAN!

He's not dead.

Isaiah: Loot the corpse for any cold hard cash.

HE'S NOT DEAD!

But you do that anyway. He had a couple hundred bucks on him. Niiiiice.

[littlebeasti]

Boy: Hey, we're not making you respond. We're just talking to you. Anyway don't most people with voices in their head learn to respond nonverbally?
Rebecca: Socks? Whut? How'd you get in here anyway?
Isaiah: Enter a monopoly tournament.

[CheeseDeluxe]

Turner

Boy: Hey, we're not making you respond. We're just talking to you. Anyway don't most people with voices in their head learn to respond nonverbally?

"Non-verbally? Non-verbally? I fucking wish."
"Dude, that guy has a wire!"
"Chillax, fuckwad. I'm only insane. I don't need to go so low as to cheat."
Turner puts his sunglasses on.
"...I'm Boxcars Turner."
A large, audible gasp can be heard throughout the basement.
"So, when does this catastrophe start, anyhow?"
"Didn't it already start?"
"...nooooo..."

Some muttering, a few complaints.

Rebecca

Rebecca: Socks? Whut? How'd you get in here anyway?

"There were some socks on sale at Me Socky Longtime. I don't remember what happened. All I recall is that I went to get some socks, and as I went to the cash register...I...I don't know."
"That's interesting. Hey, you wanna know something? Nobody asked. Quit talking to yourself; you're making me nervous. Either help me find a way out of here or shut up."

Isaiah

Isaiah: Enter a monopoly tournament.

But you still need to sell Old Spice! Sure, it can wait, but for how long?

[The One Guy]

Boxcars: You're all signed up, right?
Isabella: Search around for hidden doors.
Isaiah: Leave the geek and go sell some Old Spice!

[OldManRupee]

Isaiah: Call the cops, report an assualt on some geek. The perp was an overly handsome man, rippling with testosterone and godliness.

Then sell Old Spice to the cops when they get here.

[CheeseDeluxe]

Turner

Boxcars: You're all signed up, right?

"Doy."

Isabella: Search around for hidden doors.

"Alright, can someone tell that idiot over there to stop licking the walls? It's disgusting and I'm almost positive she's not even supposed to be here."
"She's a competitor."
"Doubt it. She's clearly out of her mind."
"Coming from you, Mr. Voices-In-My-Head?"

...that hurt a little.

Rebecca

==>

Rebecca runs her hands along the walls. She finds something and pulls on it.
A poster?
Written on it is an advertisement for a board game tournament.
..."cursed dice"? You'd think they'd be smarter than to use stuff that will clearly kill them, but whatever.
"Hey, get over here. There's a message sprayed in red paint all over this thing."
"...okay, fine. What is it?"

DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE

"...uh, wow."

Isaiah

Isaiah: Call the cops, report an assualt on some geek. The perp was an overly handsome man, rippling with testosterone and godliness.

Then sell Old Spice to the cops when they get here.

You do so. It takes a good five minutes to arrive to the scene.

"What happened here?"
"Oh, nothing, officer," you say. "Unless you count assault, then not much."
"Did you see who did it?"
"Yes. The perp was an overly handsome man, rippling with testosterone and godliness. His abs were sculpted from the heavens, as was his chiseled face. He smelled...of Old Spice. Speaking of which, would you like some?"
"Certainly!...waaaait a second..."

Uh-oh.

*K.O.!*

You have sold a stick of Old Spice and been handcuffed. You are now in the back of a police car. The two officers up front say something about shame and Old Spice and the ridiculously good smell it gives off.

Nice one.

Old Spice left: 2999/3000

[littlebeasti]

Boxcars: "I think this message is for you: 'DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE DO NOT USE THE DICE'"