Spherecrossed (RP)

**radicalFantasizer** · 07-20-2011, 06:29 PM

SPHERECROSSED
Between Two Worlds

You just received your mail today and it contained 2 lime green CD-ROMs... what will you do next?

> RF: Introduce RP

Welcome to SPHERECROSSED, a Homestuck Fan RP. This will work a little differently from a normal Sburb RP. Here's how it breaks down:

1) Player posts an action for their character in the OOC
2) GM reads action
3) GM posts results of action in the RP thread, AKA this one.

Essentially, by this method, the RP becomes something like a normal MSPA story. It will feature similar humor and plot twists, but will be mostly text-based. Images will be used as deemed necessary for gags, weird plot shit and epicness, but will only be saved for these occasions for the sake of story flow. Pesterlogs will be written by the GM and approved and/or edited accordingly by the RPers involved prior to posting.

Any readers of the RP are also welcome to post in the OOC, but we are not taking further signups due to the fact that the foundation of the Weird Plot Shit to come has already been prefabricated.

GM List:
radicalFantasizer
Juso Magna
CSDragon

Character List:

Players:

I'd like to remind everyone that only the GM may post here. If you're a player or reader who has something to say, the OOC thread shouldn't be too far on the list from this.

**radicalFantasizer** · 07-20-2011, 06:31 PM

A young man stands in his bedroom. Though years ago he was given life, it is only today he will be given a name!

What will the name of this young man be?

> Enter name: SHITBRAIN SLUMHIPPIE.

Try again, smartass.

> Try again: LEEGEN CUIRNO.

Leegen? What kind of name is that?! Oh, well. Whatever.

Your name is LEEGEN CUIRNO.

You have a variety of INTERESTS. You have a passion for OUTDATED MODES OF TRANSPORTATION. You consider yourself a nice guy but have copious amounts of INEXPLICABLE BITTERNESS and enjoy using a copy of TROLLIAN you received through MYSTERIOUS MEANS to troll people, especially other trolls. You have a fondness for VIDEO GAMES, and have tried making them in the past but abandoned each one as a new idea came. You also like COLORS, and your room is an EYESORE. Even you need your special VIOLET COLORED GLASSES to sit in it without being driven to madness.

Your TROLLTAG is radicalFantasizer, and y0u speak 1n a crude and hurr1ed manner.

What will you do?

**radicalFantasizer** · 07-20-2011, 07:22 PM

> celibateScrewball: Get named and introduce yourself.

Your name is... really? Really? I thought we were more mature than that.

> Try again.

That's more like it!

> Observe room.

Your name is ISAAC SOLENUS.

You are an aspiring CODE MONKEY, who spends all of his time playing VIDEO GAMES, drawing and browsing the internet on your computer.

You are also a king of PROBLEM SOLVING and FAULTY LOGIC. Your mind works differently than most people's and you are able to find conclusions no-one else is capable of in the most round-about and confusing manner possible. But it comes at a price, when trying to explain it, it is often clear that it makes NO SENSE. But somehow it all works out in the end. Unless you're wrong.

Your bedroom is filled with all your worldly possessions, barring the ones that actually matter, your computer and your games. It contains your many bookshelves, your bunk bed, your dresser which you keep all your stuff on top of, and your desk. On your desk sits your CRUDDY LAPTOP, which remains POWERED OFF at all times to save yourself from the brutal insanity that is the processing power of a cheap 2002 laptop. You mostly keep it there as a reminder to upgrade it, which you probably will never do. It technically has pesterchum on it, but again, you'd rather not power it on.

Your chumhandle is celibateScrewball and you talk in a vay resembling either a Vampire, a German or a Viking, you're not entirely sure vich. Vell, vatever.

**radicalFantasizer** · 07-22-2011, 01:15 AM

> squeezeBoxercrab: Exist.

You are suddenly brought into being and don't have the faintest idea what's going on. You don't even know your own name.

> Enter name: COSMONAUT FUCKSILLY

You capitalist scum! Give this fine, upstanding young son of Karl Marx a proper name!

> Enter name: GERALDO FANDANGO SMITH

Your name is GERALDO FANDANGO SMITH.

You are a WANNABE REVOLUTIONARY and the self-appointed CAPITAINE DE LA REVOLUTION. However, you sometimes go by the title CAPTAIN PANTS BANDIT. You are not entirely sure why, but you have always had an AFFINITY FOR LEGGED GARMENTS. Other than the THIEVING of PANTS, you have a variety of INTERESTS. You are well versed in MARXIST THEORY and are skilled in the language of MATERIALIST DIALECTICS. Your struggle against capitalism and political activism has caused you to DROP OUT OF COLLEGE and LOSE YOUR JOB. However, you believe that this makes you a MARTYR FOR YOUR CAUSE. You have an ASSORTMENT OF CRABS that you have become very attached to. You view them as people, but will fight to the death to prove that YOU ARE NOT DELUSIONAL. You also have an appreciation for FOLK MUSIC like the ACCORDION. However, accordions are expensive, so you play the CONCERTINA. These are PRETTY CHEAP.

Due to your lack of job and enrollment in any form of education, you spend most of your time inside your run down SLUM OF AN APARTMENT dodging you LANDLORD who is still after you for your UNPAID RENT. In order to keep your SANITY while stuck in your one room APARTMENT, you have learned to rely on HIGH LEVELS OF CREATIVITY. Your creativity levels are OFF THE CHART most days. You keep a LARGE BOTTLE OF CREATIVITY on your person at all time. It is labelled VODKA. You think this must be the Russian word for CREATIVITY. You like to spread your MARXIST IDEAS in a very CREATIVE MANNER all over the internet that you steal from the building next door using the laptop that one of your tech-savvy COMRADES pieced together for you from found parts. You communicate with him using a PESTERCHUM account.

Your CHUMHANDLE is squeezeBoxercrab and you type with a very creative and a somewhat or perhaps very grammatically irreverent manner

What will you do?

**radicalFantasizer** · 07-22-2011, 01:22 AM

> Geraldo: Be the elusive octopus troll.

You are now this guy. We're not quite ready for you yet, though, so we will turn to somebody else for a moment.

> Turn to somebody else.

This is the elusive octopus troll. He enjoys the smell of danger and thrill of the chase, but prefers to be the prey over the predator. What is this young troll's name?

> Enter name: Cirrin Runfar

ERROR: Improper syntax method.

> Enter name: CIRRIN RUNFAR

YES. HELL. FUCKING. YES!

> CIRRIN RUNFAR: Cut to the chase and do something dangerous immediately.

Before the GM even has a chance to make a proper introduction or picture depicting the situation, CIRRIN RUNFAR attempts to milk a sleeping musclebeast.

> CIRRIN RUNFAR: Abscond.

Escape successful!

**CSDragon** · 07-22-2011, 01:29 AM

>Check out your REAL MACHINE

Now THIS is what you're talking about. This thing's got it all! Migs and megs of memories. The latest in all kinds of technology. Heck this thing was top of the line in 2010, and it's still 2009! Man when 2burb is delivered you're gonna have such an edge over your opponents.

Well, you were already a pretty rad gamer to begin with, but with this machine, you'll be unstoppable.

You decide to sit down and pull up Pesterchum...

>Oh dear crud what is that THING?!

Oh that? That's just your ORNAMENTAL DRAGON STATUE. But that's not what your friends call it, see they seem to mistake the little mushroom city he's terrorizing for a symbol of a more...dirty nature...They call it...~sigh~...the penis dragon.

High brow humor today folks, high brow humor today.

**Juso Magna** · 07-22-2011, 03:01 AM

> CIRRIN RUNFAR: Be that goody-goody again.

You are now this guy again. Man, you do seem to be changing identity a lot, lately.

> Enter name: HIPPY DORKENBERG

Hey, that's not funny, man. Nah, I'm just kiddin', that's hilarious, but no.

> Enter name: ICTHUS BROMID

Your name is ICTHUS BROMID

You have always been a nice guy, treating everyone as fairly as others, and that's why you're hated. You opposes killing and are an overall goody-goody. You avoid fights whenever you can, but you can hold your own with your GUITARKIND strife specibus. You have many INTERESTS, many are your favorite bands; ACTC, Metrollica, Horns and Roses, Troll Meyer...Oh, and you dabble with your own MUSIC.

You are relatively low on the hemospectrum, having YELLOW-GREEN BLOOD, but everyone treats you as lower, since you're a whiny bitch when it comes to killing, which is a shame (or not), since you're such a nice guy.

You live in a SPACIOUS CAVE at the top of a mountain, which you have modified to make a recording studio, with your LION-LIKE lusus, NAPOLION TEARAPARTE. You and your lusus often go out and hunt together for food, though you may as well not, the cave has plenty of food. Strange that you oppose killing, then. Your respiteblock is covered with POSTERS OF AWESOME BANDS, and the floor is covered with DIRTY CLOTHING...Yeah, you never really have been good with personal space maintenance.

Your trolltag is sixstringShooter and you Conver5e in a li5p, due to your gigantiC 5naggletooth.

**radicalFantasizer** · 07-22-2011, 10:03 AM

> CIRRIN RUNFAR: Introduce yourself finally.

Your name is CIRRIN RUNFAR.

CIRRIN RUNFAR is good at two things: ABSCONDING and HIDING. As a free lance musclebeast bait CIRRIN RUNFAR has been doing a lot of both lately. CIRRIN RUNFAR's strife specibus is allocated to CATTLEPRODKIND, but it never seems to be strong enough. CIRRIN RUNFAR collects a lot of RUSES, DISTRACTIONS, and CLEVER DISGUISES which he keeps in his sylladex. One never knows when one will need a quick escape.

CIRRIN RUNFAR lives on the edge of a forest with his LAND OCTOPUS lusus, who is always trying to fondle CIRRIN RUNFAR. CIRRIN RUNFAR is normally an advocate of being open with your feelings but this is one public display of affection CIRRIN RUNFAR wish would just fuck off. CIRRIN RUNFAR's respiteblock is disguised to look like a rocky outcropping. Nobody could tell it wasn't a perfectly ordinary and innocuous rock, if it weren't so very obviously signposted.

CIRRIN RUNFAR's TROLLTAG is recreantOctopus, and CIRRIN RUNFAR always refers to CIRRIN RUNFAR in the third person.

**radicalFantasizer** · 07-22-2011, 10:26 AM

> barnyardHermetic: Enter name.

No, her name is not TURDBREATH STICKRUBE.

> Enter name: JOAN MORGAN.

Now I reckon that's a lot better!

Your name is JOAN MORGAN.

You have a variety of INTERESTS. You have a passion for the OCCULT and any LITERATURE AND CINEMA related to it. You like to CLEAN AND ORGANIZE, and always try to keep your room NEAT AND TIDY. You have a fondness for FLOWERS and tend to dabble in FLORAL ARRANGEMENT. Sometimes, you also like to play GAMES with your friends.

Your chumhandle is barnyardHermetic and you speak in an upbeat and friendly manner! :D

**CSDragon** · 07-26-2011, 04:35 PM

> Joan: Examine posters

You examine the posters diligently. Yup those are posters alright. All witchcrafty and stuff too. For some reason though, you can't seem to view them in a higher resolution, so you just give up on it.

> Joan: Moo like a cow and chew a flower.

Ugh, what a terrible idea! The thought alone makes you feel dumber.

And yet...the flowers call to you.

-----

> Captain: Retrieve candy corn from hat

You retrieve exactly 5 pieces of candy corn from your hat. You align them into a star in your hand before just shoving them in your sylladex.

**CSDragon** · 08-03-2011, 11:36 PM

>Icthus: Pet Napolion

You pet Napolion scratch under his cheeks and otherwise let him know he's a good kitty. A big good kitty who, while looking slightly annoyed you disturbed him from his nap, smiles gleefully at you for the pettings.

> CIRRIN RUNFAR: Deploy husktop on crates.

CIRRIN RUNFAR deploys the...oh what? No!

CIRRIN RUNFAR fails the quicktime action and a CROWBAR comes crashing out landing on the crate CIRRIN RUNFAR's husktop would have lain. The results are messy, but thank goodness the crate was empty.

CIRRIN RUNFAR has also learned a valuable lesson. CROWBARS are super effective-against crates!

> Joan: Quickly retrieve arms from chest drawer

Got 'em! You slip your weapons into your Strife Deck.

**radicalFantasizer** · 08-05-2011, 04:00 PM

> Leegen: Get Pestered.

You turn on your computer and open Trollian with plans to pester a friend, only for a chat window to immediately pop up.

Pesterlog

**radicalFantasizer** · 08-05-2011, 04:52 PM

> Joan: Examine flowers.

Uh-huh. Those are definitely flowers. Black Roses, in fact. You always disliked how dark they were but you find a strange appeal in them nonetheless so you usually keep some in your bedroom for decoration.

> Joan: Pick up and smell the flowers.

**radicalFantasizer** · 08-07-2011, 06:57 PM

> Joan: Check Computer.

You sit down at your computer to see if you have any new messages, only for a chat window to catch you off-guard. You nearly fall out of your chair in shock.

Pesterlog

**CSDragon** · 08-08-2011, 03:42 PM

> Be the fellow with the freaky eyes.

Oh, right... what was his name again?

> Enter name: FOUREYES ROCKHEAD

You just don't give up, do you?

> Enter name: ROB BOWMAN

Your name is ROB BOWMAN.

You have a wide variety of interests which occupy your time rather thoroughly. You have a significant interest in MYTHS and LEGENDS, which has resulted in your room being filled with stacks of books in languages you can't even read. Your desk is covered with ULTRAMAFIC SOUVENIRS from your fieldwork in the study of geologic history. It has recently collapsed under their weight. For the better part of your life you've lived alone... but only by the technical definition of LIVING. Along with your house and your name, you inherited a bit of a POLTERGEIST INFESTATION at a very young age. Specifically, you've got a HAUNTED SUIT OF ARMOR as a housemate. You can never usually tell what it's thinking or why it does the things it does, but you get on pretty well. You have never beaten it at UNO, to be sure.

Your chumhandle is archaicReplica, and you consider yourself to be a considerate, if terribly excellent fellow.

> Isaac: Sit by mailbox.

You waste precisely 1 hour with this crud, but the 2burb CDs are yours!

Unfortunately you're currently 1 hour ahead of the rest of the players so you'll need to wait for them to catch up now.

**radicalFantasizer** · 08-09-2011, 04:12 PM

> Joan: Look out window.

You look out the window at the beautiful landscape surrounding your house, framed by bales of hay and a wooden fence pained white. Beyond is a long stretch of field for grazing, peppered with various livestock and leading up to the mountain in the distance that marks the property line. You have only been to the mountain once, but that was long ago and you don't remember much about it other than standing on a giant mound of dirt.

**radicalFantasizer** · 08-10-2011, 05:37 PM

> Leegen: Troll someone

You have to go past your father to get to the mailbox, and you figure you should put off that encounter for a little while longer. Luckily, it seems you've failed to fill your trolling quota for the day, and one of your favorite targets is on.

... well, "favorite" is probably a bad word for it. You have never once succeeded in trolling this guy, but something keeps compelling you to try again. Maybe it's his reputation, he is kind of a high mark.

> CIRRIN RUNFAR: Answer RF

Thanks to the incoming trolling attempt, CIRRIN RUNFAR's modus has released CIRRIN RUNFAR's husktop!

Pesterlog

> Leegen: Shamefully regard abysmal trolling failure

You idiot! Why did you just help him? That was the exact opposite of what you were supposed to do!

> Joan: Fondly regard flower bed

These flowers grow around your house every summer without fail, and you love to look at them. They aren't as dark as the ones in your bedroom, but you consider them every bit as beautiful.

**CSDragon** · 08-14-2011, 10:14 PM

> Rob: Carpe Pumpkin.

There's no pumpkin there! Sweet little Caroline, your goldfish, cowers in her bowl at your menacing approach. What were you thinking?!

> El Capitan: Pay the rent.

Pay rent?! Pay for a necessity of life that should be a provision of the state rather than something used to give comfort to capitalist swine and hardship to the poor! The very thought of...

*BANG BANG BANG*

Oh shoot! You are NOT home right now! Not while the landlord be a-banging on your door.

> CIRRIN RUNFAR: Explain how and why you are talking to an alien.

An alien? The thought strikes CIRRIN RUNFAR as odd, as CIRRIN RUNFAR's good friend radicalFantasizer is a troll just like CIRRIN RUNFAR and it would be silly to think otherwise.

However, if CIRRIN RUNFAR did know a little more about what was going on CIRRIN RUNFAR could explain how Pesterchum and Trollian are part of a greater chat program that manifests itself in some form on every planet that will produce or receive Sburb. It connects to the Horrorterror servers in the outer ring and can access any user at any point in time from anywhere. Of course, not all races figure out that second part.

But CIRRIN RUNFAR doesn't know this, so CIRRIN RUNFAR can't.

**radicalFantasizer** · 08-16-2011, 05:03 PM

> Geraldo: Egress through window.

Fearing your Landlord, you jump through your window. Before you know it, you're in the Realm of Imagination, singing and dancing with the many fun inhabitants of this land.

At least, you think you are. In truth, you're suffering from a concussion caused by falling three stories onto a concrete sidewalk.

> Rob: Examine Crosbytop.

You found this baffling artifact some time ago on one of your digs. You have taken to using it as your primary computing device on account of its bizarre novelty, as well as convenient portability.

Still, you can't help but wonder: just who is this douchebag?

**CSDragon** · 08-20-2011, 01:39 AM

> Isaac: Cheat

You search up "2burb Walkthrough" Google. You fail to notice that it auto-corrects you to "Sburb Walkthrough". Not that you would know what a "sburb" is anyway.

You click the first link. This tentacleTherapist person seems to have the most updated version of the walkthrough.

This game seems more interesting by the minute! However the walkthrough writer seems to take games very seriously, as if dieing in the game would kill them IRL. You guess he or she is doing one of those "roleplay playthroughs".

Meh, you guess you can get behind that. It's not as cool as doing a speedrun or a self-imposed challenge, but it's still proof her advanced gamer cred. You're not sure why but you're fairly certain the writer was female.

You're not sure why, but you decide to pester squeezeBoxercrab.

> Rob: Captchalogue the hiking boots and allocate them to your strife specibus.

Let's see...where are those things?

> Look by the door.

Oh! There they are.

====>

You slip the boots into your BOOTKIND Strife Deck.

> Le Capitaine: Shake it off and do something productive already!

You sneak back up to your room. One of your chums is pestering you!

> CIRRIN RUNFAR: open your war chest, be the pirate

CIRRIN RUNFAR opens up CIRRIN RUNFAR's war chest and puts on CIRRIN RUNFAR's FAKE HOOK HAND.

CIRRIN RUNFAR succeeds in being the pirate.

**CSDragon** · 08-22-2011, 12:45 AM

> Captain Pants Bandit: Get pestered.

One of your capitalist swine friends is trying to get a hold of you. You are a little busy, but free speech is the the power of the people, so you see no reason not to let him use it.

Pesterlog:

> CIRRIN RUNFAR: Pester squeezeBoxercrab

> CIRRIN RUNFAR: Realise CIRRIN RUNFAR can't pester squeezeBoxercrab because CIRRIN RUNFAR can't type with a hook hand

>CIRRIN RUNFAR: Put on an eyepatch instead

CIRRIN RUNFAR sure likes to type a lot of commands doesn't he?

CIRRIN RUNFAR becomes even more the pirate than he previously had been.

No no no...we're not doing that twice.

...

awesome.

**Juso Magna** · 08-23-2011, 03:01 AM

> Icthus: Pester BA.

Against your better judgement, you decide to talk to Gris. Man, you're doing a bunch of dangerous stuff today.

Pesterlog:

> Icthus: Clean clothes.

Eh. You'll do it later.

> Rob: Open the door and get on the floor.

Suddenly, an incredibly catchy, jazzy tune comes into your head as you open your bedroom door and drop to the ground.

You also suddenly feel like splitting a rattlesnake and dancing beneath the stars.

**Juso Magna** · 08-24-2011, 01:36 AM

> Icthus: Be pestered by CIRRUN RUNFAR.

Better make this quick, Napolion is awake and most likely hungry.

Pesterlog:

**radicalFantasizer** · 09-03-2011, 11:33 PM

> Be the depressing dick.

In spite of a lack of visual confirmation, you are now a young troll. What is this troll's name?

> Enter Name: EMO BITCHTITS.

The troll obviously doesn't--wait what? Apparently the troll doesn't care that you got it's name wrong. It regards you with the same disinterested disdain it had when you first saw it. Well this is no fun.

> Try again.

You are name is GRISAOL APATIA.

You are somewhat of a loner, although this is entirely due to your FREAKISH BLOOD COLOR. You are probably the only living troll with GREY BLOOD; you would like to believe that your blood color is part of some higher purpose, but that would be stupid. The blue-ish tint to your otherwise freakish blood bespeaks of what might have been had FATE not decided to RIP YOU A NEW ONE and grubfuck the new hole with its massive bonebulge. As such, you are generally preoccupied with your own mortality due to the ever present threat of culling. But you are not bitter. In fact, you do not feel anything. What kind of highblooded, nooksniffing hoofbeast fucker would ever suggest that you are in any way shape or form bitter? Certainly not the handful of trolls that know you.

You have few interests, mainly because you can't just walk into TrollMART whenever you please. Which is why you improvise. You rather enjoy PIECING TOGETHER WEIRD JUNK to create RATHER ODD STATUES. You also enjoy HUNTING with your DARTKIND specibus, aided by your telekinetic powers. Due to all the sneaking about you do to avoid culling and to hunt, you have acquired the talent of NONPRESENCE. You have also acquired somewhat of a VOYEURISTIC FETISH with it, and it would make everyone uncomfortable if they knew you just stood there. And watched. However, your greatest love is that of the internet, which you access on the husktop you found in the garbage, and by that you mean stole from another troll's hive.

Your handle is bittersweetApathy and you tend to speAk in A fucking weird And em0ti0nAlly stunted mAnner.

**radicalFantasizer** · 09-17-2011, 02:07 PM

> CIRRIN RUNFAR: Troll squeezeBoxercrab already!

Pesterlog:

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