fantroll crit thread #1. THERE IS A NEW THREAD, PLEASE DON'T POST IN HERE ANY MORE.

[EnigmaticD]

@Quin: I put that up there to give her some form of unhealthy auto-cannibalism. Now that I think about it, there are several ways of introducing that. I might just do all of them at once. I was thinking of explaining the hungriness thing with something. Parasites, maybe? Overactive metabolism? I'll justify it before I post it into the Trollslum.

Yeah, I'm aware that the symbol is huge. I've been trying to scale it down without distorting the shape too badly.

I might change the quirk, or I might not. I just kind of improvised the quirk, but I planned out the rest of the profile.

[Monkeysky]

Actually, a somewhat symbiotic parasite would be pretty interesting. If she didn't already have a lusus, that would be a good one.

[Fortia]

Okay, it's been a few days and I've made some major improvements to his profile, so I guess I'll try posting this again?



Your name is SERANS FORTIA and you are somewhere between SEVEN and EIGHT SWEEPS OLD.

You are an avid GAMBLER, and damn good at it, too, for LADY LUCK is very kind to you. You have made a killing through games of chance, gaining something of a REPUTATION in the process. Indeed, your love for these games is such that your HIVE does not resemble a place of residence as much as a flashy CASINO, and your choice of dress is considerably MORE SOPHISTICATED than that of most of your peers. You like to think of yourself as a SUAVE, AFFABLE GENTLEMAN, but others call you a SMUG PRICK, which, as much as it would never cross your mind to even consider, is not entirely wrong, as you have regrettably let your good fortune go to your head, giving you a rather OVERINFLATED EGO. You prefer the company of highbloods, but this is simply because they have MORE MONEY TO BET; while you do not hesitate to make full use of your power over those of LOWER BLOOD if it is to your advantage, you have NO PARTICULAR AVERSION to them.

Of course, there is one field in which your usual luck is decidedly absent, and it is quite possibly the most important of all: ROMANCE. Despite your best attempts to fill the quadrants, your relationships tend to simply... FIZZLE OUT. Perhaps it's because you have trouble MAINTAINING INTEREST in any one troll for long. Maybe you just haven't FOUND THE RIGHT PEOPLE. Either way, you keep trying, because frankly, YOUR ASS IS TOAST if the sparks don't start flying for real very soon.

As for your less LUCRATIVE interests, you have a fondness for PSYCHOLOGICAL THRILLER FILMS, and have been known to COMPOSE MUSIC in your spare time, though while it's NOT TERRIBLE, you prefer to keep it to yourself.

You also enjoy the odd session of EXTREME LIVE-ACTION ROLEPLAYING, a pastime introduced to you by one of your FAILED MATESPRITS. During these games you take on the mantle of THE DIRECTOR, an infamous crime lord who once exerted his influence across Alternia through a number of ILLICIT GAMBLING VENUES and various other ILLEGAL PRACTICES. The Director's CUNNING was matched only by his ARROGANCE, which proved his downfall when he aimed a little too high by attempting to ROB THE EMPRESS. He got cocky and paid dearly for it, and while you may play games under his name, you are NOT NEARLY FOOLISH ENOUGH to repeat his mistakes.

You utilize the HIGH/LOW FETCH MODUS. When an item is accessed, it picks two random 'cards', and you must guess whether the second is of a higher or lower value than the first. If you guess incorrectly, the item is LOCKED OUT for several minutes, which has proven to be a MASSIVE HEADACHE for you on more than one occassion. Your weapon of choice is a deck of RAZOR-EDGED PLAYING CARDS, and as a result your strife specibus is set to CARDKIND. While you are not exceptionally combative by nature, they have served you well in defending yourself against those who DO NOT TAKE LOSS GRACEFULLY.

Your lusus is a GIANT RABBIT named FELICITY. She’s pretty flighty, often DISAPPEARING for days at a time, which would be a problem except that she somehow always HAPPENS TO BE AROUND when you need her most. As such, her absences have long since stopped bothering you, and your relationship with her is CORDIAL at worst.

Were you to, by some strange twist of fate, participate in a game such as SGRUB, you would become known as the COUNT OF LIGHT, and find yourself in the LAND OF GOLD AND STEEL.

Your trolltag is endlessFortuity and your 7yp1ng 27yle 12 modeled af7er your 21gn, a2 well a2 7he lucky number.

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Name: Serans Fortia
Age: 7.7 sweeps
Blood Color: Blue (#4169E1)
Sign: Jupiter (I know it's probably done to death, but I made this guy like a year ago and am just dusting him off now, and I'd rather not change it at this point)
Trolltag: endlessFortuity
Quirk: Based on the Jupiter symbol, which resembles the number '21', and seven's supposed status as a 'lucky number', s becomes 2, i becomes 1, and t becomes 7
Hive: Labyrinthine casino-like complex
Lusus: 'Felicity', a capricious giant rabbit
Fetch Modus: High/Low. User must guess if the second of two randomly selected numbers is higher or lower than the first; an incorrect guess renders the item completely inaccessible for a time
Strife Specibus: cardkind

Title: Count of Light
Land: Land of Gold and Steel
Moon: Prospit

[Aluminumia]

Hi! I have just made a bloodswap-- and I decided that you guys could help me out.
Also, on the topic of which someone inquired, "Why do we feel the need to make our bloodswaps so that they turn into the character that had the blood before them?"
An example for that would be a Spider Equius? In my opinion, I think with bloodswaps, its the canon characters, so with the changing of blood, they would change the personality, likes, and other things to the character, but still keep their own likes, personalities, and other things? I hope you get what I'm saying, haha.

Anyway, Here are my blood swaps for all of the 12 trolls. Putting them under a spoiler.

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Feferi Piexes is a mutant blood. She is very gloomy at times, but also has a cheery personality when talking to her friends, or her moirail, Eridan. She has a hard time trying to get people listening to her, but at the same time, doesn't like listening to people.


Vriska Sekret is a maroon blood. She is dead, of course, and her only friend, Kanaya, killed her. Vriska asked her to, of course. She can speak to the dead, but cannot stand listening to people. She's sort of a "bitch" in a way.


Eridan Ampora is a rust blood. He's kind of a dick. But, he can also listen to your problems. He's a bit of a scardey cat in a way. His moirail is Feferi.


Kanaya Maryam is a mustard blood. She is very fashionable, but yet can find no time to design her own clothing. She likes to code things, but isn't very good at it, however, she's still practicing.


Equius Zahhak is a green blood. He loves roleplaying, especially with his horse persona. He has a green tail made especially for him by his moirail, Tavros. His kismesis, Nepeta, makes fun of him a lot. He thinks his kismesiship is one sided though, since Nepeta might not feel the same way for him.


Aradia Megido is a Jade blood. She's very concentrated and seems to like talking to people about their problems, she's a bit motherly. She likes to make friends with everyone. Although, she can be sort of a meanie too.


Gamzee Makara is a teal blood. He really likes to sniff things out, literally. He's sort of...blind. Gamzee always like to get into other people's buisnesses sometimes. Gamzee can be sort of crazy though.


Nepeta Leijon is a cerulean blood, and a spidery-cat bitch. Literally. She's a bit "Catty,"
you could say. Eridan Ampora is her matesprit/kismesis, she really can't decide. she roleplays, a lot. A flarper too. She really doesn't like Equius, either.


Tavros Nitram is a blue blood. He's very crafty, but sometimes timid too. His moirail is Equius, who helps him get around things. He broke his horn doing something (to be honest, I can't come up with something for this.) But made a mechanical replacement for the half of it.


Terezi Pyrope is an indigo blood. She gets crazy sometimes, but is also very fun to talk to. She doesn't understand what people say sometimes, either. (eurgh i can't think of other things for her.)


Karkat Vantas is a purple blood. He likes to intimidate others. He's very rude, but is also desperate. He has a moirail, Sollux. He doesn't like the water very much, and tends to stay away from it.


Sollux Captor is a magenta blood. He is very friendly, but sometimes mean as well. He can get sarcastic with his moirail. He likes Feferi in a way, but can't really talk to her that well. Aradia too.

Phew! Well, that's it. I don't really want critque on the sprites, but more on their personalities, and how I could change them. For my first post, I think I did pretty good, whew.

[EnigmaticD]

The revised first paragraph, with the lusus pushed down to second:

Ever since you were hatched, due to an inoperable-yet-benign PARASITE that ended up crawling into your intestines, you have been hungrier than pretty much any other troll. Meals for two turn into an APPETIZER. A whole hoofbeast is your definition of a “filling meal”. You eat thin slices of your HORN, drink your own BLOOD and nibble off the ends of your FINGERS in order to stave off hunger. You, in general, exhibit eating habits which are pretty much NOT HEALTHY. You have frequently eaten more than you can stomach, and have VOMITED just as frequently. That didn’t stop you from eating even more.

[Firebird766]

Revised profile with more background, explanation for why he went feral, and a tentative sprite based on the various adults we've seen. I would really like some spriting advice.



Your name is ALBIRE DENEBO, and your life really sucks. This isn't particularly new, and you consider yourself fortunate to have even survived to be SIXTEEN SWEEPS old considering you're LIVING FERAL on Alternia instead of working for the Empire. You live in hiding in a RAVINE far from anything that can be considered civilization, with very little contact with other trolls. The only person you regularly keep in touch with is your MOIRAIL, a low-level soldier in the military, and even so your contact is limited to when he can CONNECT to the ALTERNIAN NETWORK without being discovered.

Not that he's the only troll you interact with; it's just that you usually have to KILL EVERYONE who sees you in order to avoid being reported. This happens more often than you would like since you forage and hunt in a RATHER LARGE AREA, and it's not all that rare that someone WANDERS THROUGH. You would live in an even more remote region to avoid this, but it food and water supplies become dangerously scarce further away from society. It's almost as if civilizations spring up around natural resources. Still, you're so WORRIED about being discovered that when you aren't KEEPING WATCH FOR INTRUDERS or FORAGING, you stay cooped up in one of a few tiny caves to minimize your chances of discovery.

As a FERAL, you have to rely on the NATURAL ENVIRONMENT for practically all of your supplies. As such you are PERPETUALLY HUNGRY, your clothes are BARELY ADEQUATE for heat conservation, and you DON'T SLEEP IN SOPOR. What you do have that isn't natural you've taken from the trolls you've killed. You probably wouldn't have survived at all if your moirail hadn't helped you ADAPT to living on your own in the two sweeps before his own recruitment. Despite this, you don't regret fleeing the recruitment ships. A low QUALITY OF LIFE is better than NO LIFE AT ALL, and you are certain you would have been CULLED for your UNFORTUNATE HORNS had you not run away.

You have very few INTERESTS not related to SURVIVAL. You enjoy PAINTING the EGGS of your LUSUS, a large FLIGHTLESS FEATHERBEAST. You have a limited palette of colors due to INTRUDERS invariably being LOWBLOODS, but you are by no means willing to risk your life to look for cool colors instead of warm ones. You are FUSSY about your horns since if you didn't CUT THEM BACK occasionally they would grow into your head and kill you. This is a painful process, but it is not nearly painful enough to make you wish you had just gone ahead and gotten CULLED DURING RECRUITMENT. You have to keep your lusus shut up in a cavern to stop this SITUATION from being REMEDIED; the STUPID FEATHERBRAIN seems to think you are still EIGHT SWEEPS OLD and will try to flag down a recruitment ship if you let it out of your sight. You also maintain a large collection of handmade EXPLOSIVES, which are mostly BLACK POWDER based and therefore have a LIMITED USEFULNESS. They make for okay traps, though.

When you have to fight, you use a combination of your makeshift XPLOSIONKIND explosive devices and the SCISSORKIND clippers you use to keep your horns cut back. You are very careful with the former, since you have no intention of getting CAUGHT IN YOUR OWN EXPLOSIONS again. When using the latter you prefer to inflict blunt-force trauma instead of using the blades of your clippers; it's less messy overall.

Your trolltag is missingGuest and you prOOnOOnce yOOr wOOrds calmly and carefully.

[Quincunx]

I sort of doubt anybody would be culled for horns like that. He seems capable of managing them so I imagine he could keep doing so once he entered the fleet. As a greenblood he's of okay social standing and could probably afford the tools to do so.

If you want him to still be on the planet, you may have to come up with a better reason for him to stay behind.

[Firebird766]

Do you have any suggestions? Either for a better reason or for how I can improve that godawful sprite?

[polarBaroness]

Oh hi! So, I decided I wanted to make a terrible fan troll, and I'd like your advice on how to make it not suck.

It's currently under construction, and I feel like my weaknesses are staying on track in her info, designing a decent troll, not being boring, and being fairly realistic. Help?

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You are now the BRIGHT, DIZZY TROLL, MAREJA CZYSTA

As told by your title, you are QUITE DIZZY. Not all of the time, of course, but whenever you stand up and stretch, or get frightened, or move too quickly after a period of inactivity.
Your dizziness comes in fits of shaking and COMPLETE LACK OF VISION, accompanied by a heaviness of the head, abnormal speech, pupil dialation and contraction, and occasionally FALLING DOWN.

No one's really sure why you have these odd fits- well, actually the doctors are pretty sure about the physical aspect-, but there's one thing you forgot to mention.

When you pass out, you go somewhere far in the future, in a land covered in sand and strange black creatures. It's never for a long time, and you can't interact with them, but you seem to glow in all of them.

You CONVENIENTLY forgot to mention these to the doctor, of course- because you'd rather not have to see a PSYCHOCAITRIST or get culled. Sure, the chances are lower since you're a high blood, but you never know.

Being a highblood, your hive is near the bottom of the ocean, dug into a cliff. It's rather nice, allowing you access to your LUSUS, who just so happens to be a GIANT FIREFLY SQUID.. She's the best, and she helps you find your way in the dark abyss.
She also keeps trying to teach you how to lure in prey with bright and shiny lights, but that hasn't quite worked out and has in fact only served to make you dress in a ridiculous fashion.

Your lusus has also had an influence on your Strife Specibus, encouraging you to choose Whipkind, which is one of the most awesome strife specibi and can never be beat. For some odd reason, she decided to make it glow-not that you're complaining-, so you'll often swing it around to watch the pretty lights and maybe even hurt yourself. Oops.):


Basically, she told you, it's comprised of some of her bioluminescent skin. Not only that, but she SOMEHOW got ahold of a BIOLUMINESCENT OUTFIT.

She's... strange.

The hemospectrum has never bothered you, really, mostly because you're at the top of it, but also because you interact with so few trolls you never notice it. You tend to like red-bloods, though, and green bloods, too! Red bloods can help you interpret what's going on most of the time, and green bloods just have really pretty blood. Sometimes you wish you were a GREEN BLOOD, but that
would be silly!




Your Trolltag is IncandescentQilinbian and you ====|~~~~~~~ Like to hit things with your whip!


If you were in a special session you'd be the HEIRESS of LIGHT in the land of TARGETS and CUTTLEFISH.

Lusus: Giant Firefly Squid
Symbol: Camera flash
Weapon: Whip!

[Firebird766]

I would like an explanation for her future-seeing thing. Psychic powers are really rare in highbloods. I'm also not sure there would even be psychiatrists or psychologists on Alternia. Sure, you'd get other young trolls trying to figure stuff out on their own, but there wouldn't be any trained adults. It would be the same with doctors.

[polarBaroness]

I would use the thing that she's deeper down, so closer to Glbby, but I don't know. I was thinking more of just a different type of nightmare, or something. My thoughts are all disjointed, and I might just remove that.

[Quincunx]

Do you have any suggestions? Either for a better reason or for how I can improve that godawful sprite?

Maybe some sort of bone or muscle deformity that leaves him frailer and more easily tired? Something that he couldn't deal with easily.

I'd use a normal troll base sprite. Most people use them for trolls of all ages, even adult.

[passiveNotation]

@Firebird
Why do you want your troll to be an adult on Alternia? He has to kill everyone he ever meets, so it's not like you can RP him with anyone.

[Firebird766]

I'm actually roleplaying him now in a Sgrub setting. It's fun taking him out of his world and forcing him to interact with people he can't just silence. His isolation has made his reactions really different from those of the rest of the characters.

[Tataudu]

Your name is a mystery to all but those very close to you. You're an enigmatic gentleman of many aliases, and eccentric tastes. Truthfully, you're nothing but a simple internet troll. You've often got nothing better to do with your life than to waste it ruining someone elses online, and derive most of your entertainment from your sick humour.
You've collected a vast number of interests in your many years of living, some of which you've discarded over time and others of which you've kept. For example, you're a fan of literary works and skill, though you have no time or patience for reading; However you do spend a lot of time honing your sharp wit and words in practical uses. You're also somewhat obsessed with cephalopods, animals like squid, cuttlefish and octopus, you just think they're really cool, and your spirit animal is a giant squid. Your prized possession is your squid shirt, which is emblazoned with a happy pink squid, contrasting heavily against your morbid personality. On the subject of morbid, your final foremost interest is death. You're fascinated by gore, corpses, and murderers.
In your time, you've gone through some fairly regrettable phases, which have built up into the hate-machine you've become now.

tl;dr

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Name: ???? ???????
Handle: thirteenGraves
Male / Human / ??? / ??
Title: Thane of Hate
Land: Land of Sun and Stars
Planet: Derse Dreamer
Text Colour: #FFA100 / 255 161 0
CTG: Jesus fuck.
CTG: Well: Balls to you!
(He uses a lot of memes, but also appreciates grammar)

Name will either be Toby or Evan. Shameless self insert fanhuman. No established surname as of yet, also age and hometown are a mystery.
Cool? Lame? Needs work?

[Firebird766]

A couple of things about the sprite. Why doesn't he have pupils, first of all? Also, as his hair is now it looks like he's going grey, and I don't think you meant him to be that old. A bit of color would not be a bad thing on the hair front, or at least making it flat white or black if you want to keep the monochrome look.

Can we get some more information on him? What are his skills, how does he react to things? Especially in real life, since if he's going into a Sburb game he can't hide beneath internet anonymity. Would he know enough to tone down the trolling, or would he continue on until someone retaliates?

[Lennie]

Yeah, I didn't get any responses for this guy, He was posted a couple of pages back. It's completely understandable because the huge wall of text and all but it would be much appreciated if someone could read through it and point out any errors, illogical stuff and parts I could remove altogether, I tend to get rambling easily (Duh..) so there's probably a lot of unecessary details and whatnot.

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The sprite without a scarf is mainly there to show off his sign, It would normally be visible below it but since the sprite's propotions is a bit minimal I have to compromise some

Profile

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Your name is NAHUAL SAGDID and you are one of the LOWEST OF THE LOW. Your blood contains such massive amounts of rust that will make any respectable highblood shun away in disgust and you're certainly not okay with that. You HATE the hemospectrum and the position that it has put you in. Naturally, You will act as your blood-color doesn't affect you but in reality it does have a rather big impact on your life. You have been condemned to a LIFE OF POVERTY but you have learned how to be self-sufficient, You HUNT and have become some kind of MAKE-SHIFT LUMBERJACK to earn an income, Though the pay is rather low. Who even needs FIREWOOD nowadays? You secretly HATE HIGHBLOODS, In some kind of reverse hemospectrum-based way. You don't see yourself as below them in any way and will become furious when someone tries to abuse your low status, If provoked you will note hesitate to STRIFE. You DREAM OF REVOLUTION, A world where you can be considered anything but a DIRTY LOWBLOOD. However, You don't have much faith in that EQUALITY BULLSHIT, Someone's gotta rule right? Why not the rustbloods?.. Preferably led by you. Though you're quite desperate really, Anything that will be a pain in the ass for the HIGHBLOODS is A-OK with you.

At the age of 8 sweeps old you're nearing full maturity and the age where you are to be SHIPPED OFF THE PLANET to FIGHT FOR YOUR RACE. You do not really look forward to this day but suppose you have no choice in the matter. You will most likely be spared of the humiliation of being turned into a LIVING ENGINE since your psychic powers are QUITE LACKING for someone of your caste. You have no telekinetic or clairvoyant abilities. Even though your mental strenght is rather weak your body is STRONG, Partly because of your genes, Partly because of your active lifestyle. You're not completely lacking in the mental department, Sure enough, There is some VOICES IN YOUR HEAD but they rarely come with any prophetic or insightful advice, They usually just urge you to "KILL THEM ALL" or something of similar meaning. You have almost learned how to tune them out and naturally, You DON'T LISTEN TO THEM. If you did, you wouldn't be much better than your run-of-the-mill subjuggalator and you like to think that your psyche is stronger than that, Whether that is true is UP FOR DEBATE but you have managed to keep your sanity relatively intact during the sweeps. You have no idea why you have been CURSED with these voices but it may have something to do with that you spent the first 3 sweeps of your life WITHOUT A RECURACOON or you may simply have just been UNLUCKY.

YOUR LUSUS is partly to blame for that. She was of an EXTREMELY HOSTILE and VIOLENT species of HOWLBEASTS, The three-eyed kind. Due to her species' FOUL TEMPER and it's LOW BLOODED PREFERENCES it almost had been hunted to extinction. She was quite loving to you though, Still, She apparently DIDN'T APPROVE of the carpenter drones when they came to build you a hive since she CULLED them on the spot, Which was promptly followed by her carrying your tiny little grub-self into the woods. It was perhaps NOT THE BEST WAY of starting out your life. The first sweeps of your life was spent inside in a burrow that your LUSUS considerately dug out for you, It gave you shelter from the chilly rain and the blinding sunshine but it provided no protection from the AWFUL NIGHTMARES you were experiencing every day. Eventually you grew more tolerant and could take a nap without waking up screaming EVERY 5 MINUTES but still, There was no good sleepings to be had. Despite your daily horrors your early childhood were relatively happy and carefree, Atleast compared to other troll's of the same caste. You were taught how to HUNT and the WAYS OF THE WILD by your LUSUS. You also learned, The hard way if you might add, That if you climb a tree and fall, There's a good chance of GETTING A TOOTH KNOCKED OUT.

However, A couple of days after your THIRD WRIGGLING DAY your LUSUS was brutally killed by an unknown troll or beast. You like to think that a HIGHBLOOD was the culprit but there's no way of being sure. You were heartbroken - Ofcourse. Lost and confused you spent MANY DAYS aimlessly wandering around the forest. Eventually you stumbled across an old RUN-DOWN HIVE and decided to make it your new HOME and it still is to this day. Most rooms in the upper section have a NUMBERS OF HOLES in the walls and as a result, You hive is very DRAFTY. You eventually got around to attempting to repair it but the best tools in your price-range was a HAMMER, SPIKES and some TARP and well.. You are certainly not the handiest troll in the bunch. You can openly admit that your hive looks like shit. Surprisingly though; The basement is actually quite decent shape and you have moved all of you STUFF downstairs. THE RECURACOON already present in the hive was a bit of a pain though, Your hive has since then gotten a brand new BRIGHT YELLOW paintjob to hide the sopor slime stains. You kind of think the color is an eyesore but there was a reason why it was THE CHEAPEST and sadly, You can't really afford anything better.

You have a variety of interest, Most of them involve some kind of physical activity. You never have been captivated by CRUNCHING NUMBERS or READING and your intellect is painfully AVERAGE. However that doesn't matter, You love the outdoors and would rather spend your time taking a walk or something than to stay inside all day, You can't help but to feel A BIT TRAPPED when inside. It's not that bad though and you can usually endure it. You love HUNTING, The process of tracking and stalking your prey, Sneaking up on it and killing it, It's almost ENTRANCING to you. The whole process kind of reminds you of the time you spent with your LUSUS. Also, SENSELESS MURDER seems to make the VOICES IN YOUR HEAD calm down and shut up for a while, Which is always a nice thing.

You have tried out FLARPING once or twice and you LIKED IT but due to your hive's REMOTE LOCATION, It's rather hard to find any flarp-partners even after completely disregarding the fact that you're a LOW-BLOOD. You consider yourself an AXE-AFICIONADO and have a rather ADMIRABLE COLLECTION stored in your STRIFE SPECIBUS. HATCHETS, HALBERDS, THROWING AXES, You'd be surprised if there isn't a kind of axe-related weapon not your possession. Though your hobby is quite expensive and the majority of your income is usually spent on buying a new or repairing one of your old axes. As a result, You are quite FRUGAL, For one, You only have one pair of pants. They are kind of a mess though but you constantly try to keep them as clean possible, LAUNDRY DAY usually is a bit awkward and it's not an event you look forward to. Luckily, You know a rather isolated river in the middle of the woods that can be used for that particular occasion.

Though you live alone, Civilization is within walking distance, Albeit a rather large one. You can usually be done with whatever errands before dawn but then you have to be on a rather tight schedule and almost get up at dusk. Despite your isolated upbringing, You have learned the basics of TROLL ETIQUETTE via TROLLIAN, It's also the medium through you have gained the majority of your FRIENDS. You don't have anyone higher up on the HEMOSPECTRUM than green on your TROLLSLUM since you would rather not be in touch with those TREACHEROUS, BACK-STABBING PSYCHOS called HIGHBLOODS. If you were to be contacted, against the odds, You would probably try to put your feelings aside and be on your best behavior, After all, It's common knowledge that a (openly) cocky rustblood is a dead one. Though if you're angry, There will be nothing stopping you from throwing threats and insults on whoever you're chatting with.

Your trolltag is savageUnderdog and you tend to speak in a > mannerr similarr to yourr deceased Lusus. If you ever would play a game such as SGRUB your title would be Sage of Life and you would enter the Land of Orchards and Roses. Your consorts would probably be some kind of IRRATIONAL RAINBOW FOXES who like NATURE. You would most likely wake up on PROSPIT bu you suposse it might take a while, You're a quite heavy sleeper and you don't think your dream-self would be much different.

TL; DR

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Name: Nahual Sagdid
Blood Color: Red, #A10000
Gender: male
Age: 8 Sweeps
Lusus: Three-eyed Hyena/Wolf thing
Strife Specibus: AXEKIND
Fetch Modus: TREE MODUS
Trolltag: savageUnderdog

You were most likely killed as the reckoning started but i you were lucky enough to get your hands on a copy of SGRUB, These would also be relevant;

Title: Sage of Life
Land: Land of Orchards and Roses
Consorts: Rainbow Hippie Foxes
Denizen: Cebreus

Artsy-fartsy stuff

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Hive
Lusus
Crappy pencil reference with wonky anatomy

[Firebird766]

How did he survive without a lusus? Alternia is a very dangerous place, and I'd imagine a three-sweep old would be killed by predators in short order. Aside from that and how he was able to patch up his hive after spending three sweeps with no supplies in the wilderness, I don't have see any issues. He sounds like a fun guy to play against.

[Lennie]

Ah, Thank you for reading through it~

Yeah, I dind't really think much when writing those paragraphs, If I remember correctly it was like 2 am when I wrote those and y'know, Lack of sleep doesn't go well with writing coherently.. Anyway, Would 5 sweeps be a more reasonable age?

I should probably have specified that he didn't just find some random hive and immedeatly started the repairs, It probably took him a couple of sweeps before he got around to doing it... EDITS AHOY!

[polarBaroness]

So, I decided instead of having visions, she's just going to have nightmares when she passes out. Plain old nightmares due to not having the sopor slime,so she's gonna be all twitchy and stuff when she gets back from batshitcrazytown.

Blackouts aren't that long, though..

Now to do the sprite. Oh nads.

[npcMimic]

posted this in another thread, figured I'd come here and get some opinions on him:

I have so much reference material ,ugh, this post will be full of spoilers

==> Be the Sleep-deprived Star-gazer


More art V

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You are ROSTIC TARIN. yet another troll on your home world called ALTERNIA, but really, it's no big deal, you've lived here your ENTIRE LIFE with all sorts of other trolls who you don't really CARE ABOUT. You don't have that many friends, but you DON'T CARE, because the ones you do have are PRETTY SWEET. Sometimes you like to play ROLE PLAYING GAMES with them, because you've heard that other kinds of role play can be EXTREMELY DANGEROUS.

You are a MID BLOOD, and your blood color is SOPOR SLIME GREEN, which just happens to be your favorite color! Seriously, you freaking LOVE GREEN THINGS. You think that the only way that green can be improved is by putting it against SOMETHING BLACK. The contrast is your favorite, and you've decorated your hive to match that. Speaking of your Hive, it's a GIANT TELESCOPE. You had it built like this when you were a PATHETIC WRIGGLER because you love looking at STARS AND SHIT. Basically it's one of your favorite INTERESTS. The other things you are interested in are CHATTING ONLINE, and CUTTING THINGS with your KNIFE. You love knives too, but that goes without saying.

You are a pretty RELAXED GUY most of the time, but you get PISSED OFF occasionally. When that happens you just want to CUT SOMETHING so much that you will cut JUST ABOUT FUCKING ANYTHING. Seriously, you hope no one pisses you off in person, because they may REGRET IT. You have been known to HOLD A GRUDGE or two. You like to think that your MEMORY is one of your best qualities, but you know that you are FORGETFUL about a lot of other things. You aren't very COMPUTER SAVVY, but you can work computers pretty well.

When you grow up, you want to be a SOLAR DECIMATOGRAPHER for the queen's fleet. You dream of guiding space ships though DEADLY ASTEROID FIELDS and leading them to victory among the stars. Secretly, you just want to SCOPE THOSE SWEET ASS PLANETS for yourself up close. To ready yourself for this INEVITABLE FUTURE that will most assuredly happen, by mapping your solar system, something that HAS ALREADY BEEN DONE. You just want the challenge, and your map is going into PAINSTAKING DETAIL. No one will be able to say that you SLACKED OFF. Not that they would because you live in THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING NOWHERE!

That's right, you live in the middle of fucking NOWHERE, Alternia, a real place that totally exists... because you JUST MADE IT UP. God you are BORED out here. Your hive is located in a part of Alternia that is both HILLY, and MOUNTAINOUS, so there are a lot of WILD BEASTS around for you and your Lusus to HUNT. Speaking of your Lusus, she's a SLITHER BEAST, and a HUGE BITCH. She used to be cool, but as you've grown she's become MORE DISTANT, and COLD, but that kind of makes sense - she is cold-blooded after all. She does still take care of you, but it seems like she does it BEGRUDGINGLY. Which makes you upset. You bring her food during the COLDER SEASONS, and keep her warm, so she doesn't FREEZE, so you are useful. You guess that's just how Slither beasts are. You've never heard of any of them taking care of their own kind after they hatch, so this must be OUT OF THE NORM for her. In any case, she let's you use her SHED SKIN whenever you want. Sometimes you use it as an ACCESSORY for your clothes, you know, just something to make them LOOK SNAZZY for no one in particular.

Your FETCH MODUS is set to SPOT THE DIFFERENCE. In order to retrieve an item, you must find the difference between 2 almost-alike images of the item. Sometimes it's PRETTY EASY, but other times the modus makes the difference almost indistinguishable.

Your CHUMHANDLE is suspiciousContellations , and You repl@ce @ll @'s with coiled sn@kes. Sometimes you forget to c@pit@lize the letter i @swel.


If by some MIRICLE you were to make it into some thing called SGRUB, your title would be the DUKE OF STARS, and your land would be LAND OF VOID AND LIGHT.

TLDR:

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Name: Rostic Tarin
Age: 7 Sweeps
Blood color: Sopor slime green - #00FF00
Lusus: a large snake with pincers on it's tail
Fetch Modus: Find the Difference
Strife Specibus: Knifekind

Things I didn't mention in the intro:
1) he'll stay up ridiculously late in the night so that he can watch the stars, or surf the troll internet.
2) When(if) he enters sgrub, he will take swords and shrink them down so he can use them as knives to get around his strife specibus. Alternatively, he would be able to make knives into swords using the same method.

[Lennie]

Okay, He does have a solid personality and I really like the whole star-navigating-business and I like his design Although I have to say it's very reminiscent of Terezi's. Atleast in sprite-form. The art is very nice and you gain a couple of extra of thumbs up for that. Overall I think it's very good but I've got a few issues with him;

Okay, First things first; The blood color, It's way to bright, Unless it's some kind of mutation ofcourse. If your troll is normal, He should have blood similar to Nepeta's. Though this is my own headcanon talking here but you know, There are few trolls running around with Neon blood. I suggest changing the hue somewhat, At least until it isn't literally sopor-slime green.

You know that trolls are nocturnal right? So him staying up late in the night is really not a big deal cause it's pretty much normal, Therefore he wouldn't be sleep-depraved at all, Unless there was something disturbing his sleep during the day that you haven't written down. If you want to keep the sleep-depraved theme you could perhaps say that he literally wakes up at dawn and goes to bed when morning comes and therefore doesn't get a lot of sleep.. I dunno really.. Ideas aren't my strong side.

And also, The whole knife/sword shrinking and enlarging business, i don't really think it would work that well. A sword isn't simply an bigger version of a knife. I could imagine handling such a weapon would be very uncomfortable and unpractical, Not to mention difficult. Both of the weapons are designed to be used in their respective way, Just scaling them up would end up with the proportions being completely off. The handle of an enlarged knife would be enormous while a shrinked-down sword's would be minimal, Not to mention that both of the weapons are designed for two different ways of dealing damage.

Ugh.. I probably should have mentioned that I'm a chronic nitpicker.. Sorry if this may have come out in the wrong tone or something, This was all meant as constructive criticism

[npcMimic]

No, it's okay, I was told by someone else about the nocturnal thing too. That's an error on my part. I'm not used to thinking oppositely. I think I'll get rid of the sleep-deprived part, since it will be difficult for me to change without it being weird sounding.
As for the design being similar to Terezi's, I think it's just that the glasses are really just a recolor of hers. I love the shape of them, and I wanted to use them on my troll. He can still see, though, so I think he's far enough from Terezi's design.
For the knife/sword thing, I was going by Liv Tyler's growing/shrinking ray as inspiration. She grew Zillywho so John could use it and the proportions weren't off enough for john not to be able to use it. I can see your point though, it would seem like they would be off size-wise.

Thanks for reading it though!

[ashdenej]

I think the other reason it looks similar to Terezi is because you've also used her mouth as the base state!

Perhaps you could change the teeth/mouth shape? Or even just adjust the glasses shape subtly.

[npcMimic]

Well, I like the mouth a lot; I like that many-toothed smile that the trolls can have. I'm not sure how I could change it without drastically altering it.

What if I got rid of some of the 'lip' on the bottom?
EDIT:

does that look better in the mouth department?