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Thread: fantroll crit thread #1. THERE IS A NEW THREAD, PLEASE DON'T POST IN HERE ANY MORE.

  1. #2251
    Ashmin Admin ashdenej's Avatar
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    Re: FANTROLL/HUMAN/BLOODSWAP/FANALIEN CRITIQUE THREAD: how is grubby formed

    Quote Originally Posted by BewareOfNerd View Post
    Her text color is green. No offense, but are you colorblind?
    Are you... are you sure you're referring to the troll who likes ducks? Maybe you're thinking of a different troll!

    Quote Originally Posted by AnatidaeCollector View Post
    Your name is VODOPA RAHAVI.

  2. #2252

    Re: FANTROLL/HUMAN/BLOODSWAP/FANALIEN CRITIQUE THREAD: how is grubby formed

    Quote Originally Posted by llamamiah View Post
    Bluh. I probably should've phrased that better. The symbols mean things, like how the blue broad is obsessed with rebirth and her symbol looks like an Ouroboros. Also, the symbols are supposed to be charicatures of their Lusus/Lusii/Lususeses/however you pluralize it. What I meant by that was that the shape of the symbol, in other words, the similarity to kid symbols, wasn't symbolic of anything.
    If the fact that their symbols resemble the human kids' symbols isn't important, why do it at all? It shouldn't be too hard to come up with abstract symbols, or find ones that represent what you want to. Heck I'll help you with it if you want to take this to PMs.
    CC: ∑ ^ owo it was a hyperbole you fuck

  3. #2253
    Lurker Extraordinaire BenevolentDemon's Avatar
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    Re: FANTROLL/HUMAN/BLOODSWAP/FANALIEN CRITIQUE THREAD: how is grubby formed

    Quote Originally Posted by ashdenej View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by BewareOfNerd View Post
    Her text color is green. No offense, but are you colorblind?
    Are you... are you sure you're referring to the troll who likes ducks? Maybe you're thinking of a different troll!

    Quote Originally Posted by AnatidaeCollector View Post
    Your name is VODOPA RAHAVI.
    Quote Originally Posted by AnatidaeCollector View Post
    Your trolltag is [COLOR="rgb(75, 0, 130)"]AnatidaeCollector[/COLOR] and your tend to sound [COLOR="rgb(75, 0, 130)"][COLOR="rgb(75, 0, 130)"]OMGOMGOMG S0o0o0o0o ENTHISIASTIC and tend to LAUGHhHhHhA IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR W0o0o0oRDS.[/COLOR][/color]You tend to barbarically holler everything you say... [COLOR="rgb(75, 0, 130)"]BECAUSE YOU CAaAaAaAaAN![/COLOR]
    The text at the beginning is purple. The text at the end is green! You're both right.
    i have a tumblr

  4. #2254
    Ashmin Admin ashdenej's Avatar
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    Re: FANTROLL/HUMAN/BLOODSWAP/FANALIEN CRITIQUE THREAD: how is grubby formed

    The text at the end is just showing up as plain forum grey for me!

    Which is kind of weird, because I can see the coding when I quote the post. HMMM.

  5. #2255
    Seer of Hope AnatidaeCollector's Avatar
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    Re: FANTROLL/HUMAN/BLOODSWAP/FANALIEN CRITIQUE THREAD: how is grubby formed

    This is what I see on both of my devices, and what I intended it to look like:


    Absolutely bizarre. I don't know what to make of this, lol. Never, in all of my years of foruming, has there been any problem with text color... O_o

  6. #2256
    Cobaltergeist King Cobalt's Avatar
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    Re: FANTROLL/HUMAN/BLOODSWAP/FANALIEN CRITIQUE THREAD: how is grubby formed

    You have to put a hex value in the color field for it to work properly for everyone.

    Instead of [COLOR="rgb(75, 0, 130)"][B]AnatidaeCollector[/B][/COLOR], you want to type it as [color="#4B0082"][B]AnatidaeCollector[/B][/COLOR]

    4B0082 is the hex code for 75, 0, 130.

    The result is "AnatidaeCollector," correctly colored in every browser.

  7. #2257
    Seer of Hope AnatidaeCollector's Avatar
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    Re: FANTROLL/HUMAN/BLOODSWAP/FANALIEN CRITIQUE THREAD: how is grubby formed

    @Sandvich: Thanks, dude. Fixed!

  8. #2258
    Ashmin Admin ashdenej's Avatar
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    Re: FANTROLL/HUMAN/BLOODSWAP/FANALIEN CRITIQUE THREAD: how is grubby formed

    For the record, mine looked like this:


  9. #2259

    Re: FANTROLL/HUMAN/BLOODSWAP/FANALIEN CRITIQUE THREAD: how is grubby formed

    Quote Originally Posted by AnatidaeCollector View Post
    1. It said that highbloods with powers are rare, not impossible. Plus, she's absolute shit at using them, so I figured it wouldn't matter that much.
    The general approach to hemospectrum/powers is that anything above green is really pushing it.

  10. #2260
    Scourge of Umbrage Teslamagnetic Integration's Avatar
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    Re: FANTROLL/HUMAN/BLOODSWAP/FANALIEN CRITIQUE THREAD: how is grubby formed

    If a highblood is going to have a power, then there should be good enough writing with them to compensate.

    Making a conflict off of that power could help balance it, as long as the power doesn't make them.

    Unless you want to go for some meta-thing where the power does make them and they try to change that and fail a bunch idk ignore me.

    But hey, seeing as there's already some conflict (Being a seer who can't really see shit and ends up making things worse off of potentially nothing), I think it can be done. It's really dependent on you and how you go about it.

    Just...try not to fall in the same pool as many who tried this road and ended up throwing the conflict out the window and made their character one dimensional off of that power alone. Because that's the definitely biggest reason people don't like highbloods with powers, alongside the rarity thing.
    [spoiler]
    OCs:

  11. #2261
    Seer of Hope AnatidaeCollector's Avatar
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    Re: FANTROLL/HUMAN/BLOODSWAP/FANALIEN CRITIQUE THREAD: how is grubby formed

    I'm hoping that the whole "she's a shitty seer who ends up in bad places because of it and pretends to have other visions to justify her violent actions" thing to really show that being a highblood with powers can be bad because you have that highblood angst to deal with, which with powers can just be plain old bad, plus her lusus isn't there to guide her at all and help her learn to use her powers. I'd like to think that her lack of skill as a seer is also due to it being more like a weird glitch or poorly-executed hack in the troll genetic system, so yeah she has the ability, but it's more inconvenient than anything else because it's not really natural.

    If in any of the RPs, she sounds too Mary Sue-ish, cyberslap me pl0x.

  12. #2262

    Re: FANTROLL/HUMAN/BLOODSWAP/FANALIEN CRITIQUE THREAD: how is grubby formed

    Quote Originally Posted by Teslamagnetic Integration View Post
    ...try not to fall in the same pool as many who tried this road and ended up throwing the conflict out the window and made their character one dimensional off of that power alone. Because that's the definitely biggest reason people don't like highbloods with powers, alongside the rarity thing.
    Throwing the conflict out of the window isn't the only way for a power to become a bad thing for good rp. Putting too much focus into the conflict can be worse. It's best to put most of your attention into who your character is rather than what they are, which is why I am always more critical of characters who have mutations or powers or are 'odd', highbloods with powers included.

    If you're going to go through with this then you need to remember that it is not normal for highbloods to have powers. I can count the number of highbloods with powers on this forum with half a hand, and troll culture generally doesn't respond well to different, so she'd probably want to hide it or at least be subtle about it.
    Last edited by scintillatingMoniker; 12-08-2011 at 05:48 PM.

  13. #2263
    Monkeysky's Avatar
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    Re: FANTROLL/HUMAN/BLOODSWAP/FANALIEN CRITIQUE THREAD: how is grubby formed

    Quote Originally Posted by scintillatingMoniker View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Teslamagnetic Integration View Post
    ...try not to fall in the same pool as many who tried this road and ended up throwing the conflict out the window and made their character one dimensional off of that power alone. Because that's the definitely biggest reason people don't like highbloods with powers, alongside the rarity thing.
    Throwing the conflict out of the window isn't the only way for a power to become a bad thing for good rp. Putting too much focus into the conflict can be worse. It's best to put most of your attention into who your character is rather than what they are, which is why I am always more critical of characters who have mutations or powers or are 'odd', highbloods with powers included.

    If you're going to go through with this then you need to remember that it is not normal for highbloods to have powers. I can count the number of highbloods with powers on this forum with half a hand, and troll culture generally doesn't respond well to different, so she'd probably want to hide it or at least be subtle about it.
    Psychic powers, that is. Equius definitely has a "power".

  14. #2264
    Seer of Hope AnatidaeCollector's Avatar
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    Re: FANTROLL/HUMAN/BLOODSWAP/FANALIEN CRITIQUE THREAD: how is grubby formed

    Quote Originally Posted by scintillatingMoniker View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Teslamagnetic Integration View Post
    ...try not to fall in the same pool as many who tried this road and ended up throwing the conflict out the window and made their character one dimensional off of that power alone. Because that's the definitely biggest reason people don't like highbloods with powers, alongside the rarity thing.
    Throwing the conflict out of the window isn't the only way for a power to become a bad thing for good rp. Putting too much focus into the conflict can be worse. It's best to put most of your attention into who your character is rather than what they are, which is why I am always more critical of characters who have mutations or powers or are 'odd', highbloods with powers included.

    If you're going to go through with this then you need to remember that it is not normal for highbloods to have powers. I can count the number of highbloods with powers on this forum with half a hand, and troll culture generally doesn't respond well to different, so she'd probably want to hide it or at least be subtle about it.
    Thanks. I'll definitely keep this all in mind. Like I said, my character's experiences with powers are more negative, it seems, and she does use them to be manipulative/violent, so hopefully that'll all seem realistic/interesting in the lens of the character being a highblood.

    I think I'll have her try to hide it, because yeah, that seems realistic. But then, I'll have her break into a psychic trance at an inconvenient time, and she'll have some explaining to do, and what happens after that is pretty much up to the other trolls around, I guess.

    @Monkey: I lol'd.

  15. #2265
    Ziel's Avatar
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    Re: FANTROLL/HUMAN/BLOODSWAP/FANALIEN CRITIQUE THREAD: how is grubby formed

    Okay... let's do this for the heck of it.


  16. #2266
    Monkeysky's Avatar
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    Re: FANTROLL/HUMAN/BLOODSWAP/FANALIEN CRITIQUE THREAD: how is grubby formed

    Quote Originally Posted by Ziel View Post
    Okay... let's do this for the heck of it.

    It is a basic convention that trolls have no knowledge about humans until long after SGRUB.

  17. #2267
    Ziel's Avatar
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    Re: FANTROLL/HUMAN/BLOODSWAP/FANALIEN CRITIQUE THREAD: how is grubby formed

    Quote Originally Posted by Monkeysky View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Ziel View Post
    Okay... let's do this for the heck of it.

    It is a basic convention that trolls have no knowledge about humans until long after SGRUB.
    Well, this is because I A) use this guy all the time, and B) have issues coming up/remembering to use troll terms when I do. And where I use him (Pesterchum), there are both humans and trolls. He's not necessarily just from plain old Alternia before SGRUB, either. Could be after. He's not consistent with the cannon timeline I guess is what I'm saying? (I mean, otherwise he'd currently be dead!)

  18. #2268
    The upside-down guy BewareOfNerd's Avatar
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    Re: FANTROLL/HUMAN/BLOODSWAP/FANALIEN CRITIQUE THREAD: how is grubby formed

    1. Blood seems a bit bright.
    2. Quirks don't apply to trolltags.
    3. Most people don't mention humans in troll profiles or make interactions with them a major part of the character.
    4. Does he see his mood swings/antisocial spells as a problem? Have they ever gotten him into trouble? Does he regret pushing his friends away?
    5. Why is he cold?
    6. Why doe he hate his eyes?
    7. What's his lusus?
    8. Why does he have a buzzing quirk?

  19. #2269
    Ziel's Avatar
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    Re: FANTROLL/HUMAN/BLOODSWAP/FANALIEN CRITIQUE THREAD: how is grubby formed

    Quote Originally Posted by BewareOfNerd View Post
    1. Blood seems a bit bright.
    2. Quirks don't apply to trolltags.
    3. Trolls don't know what humans are, since we were created after trolls went extinct.
    4. Does he see his mood swings/antisocial spells as a problem? Have they ever gotten him into trouble? Does he regret pushing his friends away?
    5. Why is he cold?
    6. Why doe he hate his eyes?
    7. What's his lusus?
    8. Why does he have a buzzing quirk?
    1. It's actually not as bright as it was on my other screen, I assure you. Using one computer for art and the other to in general talk is a bit of a pain. :/ I suppose I could make it a bit darker, but I didn't want it to be the same as Sollux's.
    2. I used the quirk in the trolltag because I didn't want it to be shadowLurker, but in a sense I did. It's a meme reference. I didn't want people to immediately think he was the Shadow Lurker though, hence the use of the "Z".
    3. Again. Cannon timelines don't apply to this guy where I use him. Where I use him, humans interact with trolls all the time.
    4. Yes. They have, and they are a bit of a problem. But he's learned to just deal with it. He might have regrets, but they don't really affect him. He's just learned to move on.
    5. Probably bad blood circulation or something like that. I also imagine he probably lives in one of the colder places on Alternia.
    6. Because of how they look. Their colors kind of clash, more so because the iris and pupil are right next to each other.
    7. Forgot about that. A 3-headed Hydra of sorts, probably about the size of an elephant.
    8. It's probably more reminiscent of his symbol as opposed to 'buzzing'. If it were buzzing, the Z's would be multiple at a time, most likely.

  20. #2270
    BUSINESSMEN ARE NOT SAVAGES Flowers's Avatar
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    Re: FANTROLL/HUMAN/BLOODSWAP/FANALIEN CRITIQUE THREAD: how is grubby formed





    I tried my best to get what I thought you were trying to get.
    Do you like or do I need to try again? I'm more than happy to oblige. :>
    WhAt's It fEEl lIkE tO bE A hUgE bItch?

    Fuck that shit, let's just ship.

  21. #2271
    Creation Nucleus llamamiah's Avatar
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    Re: FANTROLL/HUMAN/BLOODSWAP/FANALIEN CRITIQUE THREAD: how is grubby formed

    owO Those look great! I'll add the horns to the blue broad right away!

    I still pose the question as to whether there's anything seriously wrong with the profiles. I want these to make sense and be believable Trolls, and the sprite-critique alone is helping with, well, sprites, but not personality or details.

    Thank you!
    Avatar made by the great Dexexe1234!
    Everything in the Spoiler!


  22. #2272
    The upside-down guy BewareOfNerd's Avatar
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    Re: FANTROLL/HUMAN/BLOODSWAP/FANALIEN CRITIQUE THREAD: how is grubby formed

    Faces still aren't lined up.

  23. #2273

    Re: FANTROLL/HUMAN/BLOODSWAP/FANALIEN CRITIQUE THREAD: how is grubby formed

    ooohkay I went over the profiles and they're long so I'm gonna just put them under spoilers.

    Orange guy:


    Blue girl:


    Green guy:
    Last edited by Quincunx; 12-08-2011 at 10:46 PM.
    CC: ∑ ^ owo it was a hyperbole you fuck

  24. #2274
    Monkeysky's Avatar
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    Re: FANTROLL/HUMAN/BLOODSWAP/FANALIEN CRITIQUE THREAD: how is grubby formed

    Alright, here goes attempt, what, four?

    Tell me if I missed/should change anything.

    Last edited by Monkeysky; 12-08-2011 at 10:58 PM.

  25. #2275

    Re: FANTROLL/HUMAN/BLOODSWAP/FANALIEN CRITIQUE THREAD: how is grubby formed

    I'd suggest breaking that into separated paragraphs so it's easier to read.
    CC: ∑ ^ owo it was a hyperbole you fuck

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