Sburbia [TEXT ADVENTURE]

**FIDUSPAWN** · 08-03-2011, 02:21 PM

>Get out of the sewer and put that disc into that slot in the computer.

**LordHyper** · 08-03-2011, 07:14 PM

>Get out of the sewer and put that disc into that slot in the computer.

Time to finally play this thing! You run under the hole you fell down in.... and realized that you've forgotten to put a way to get back up. Shit. In hindsight... trusting math only leads to trouble. This is so obviously math's fault.

---

You are now BILL ROBERTS.

You are done flipping the fuck out. Instead, you begin munching some crackers. Even though crackers are stupid, you always eat something when you're nervous. This game isn't normal. Was this what Conrada meant by miracles? This sounds awesome and all, but having your beloved planet destroyed is a big no no. Unfortunately, you cannot stop it. Everyone has already installed one of the discs by now. It's already too late.

==>
==>

(Command both of these guys.)

**FIDUSPAWN** · 08-03-2011, 07:20 PM

>Caspian: Used Stairs.
>Bill: Tell everyone what you have learn about the game in either pesterchum, emails and letters.

**LordHyper** · 08-04-2011, 12:56 AM

>Caspian: Used Stairs.
>Bill: Tell everyone what you have learn about the game in either pesterchum, emails and letters.

Of course! According to the Chekhov's Law, most unimportant things will become important, and stairs is arguably the most useless of your spells. You chant the words from the cryptic text, and a staircase materializes right next to you.... and rises right through the ceiling. A bunch of rubble, sludge, and bugs fall around you. You go up the stairs, glad to be out of that horrible place. You hope that the staircase connecting the sewer to your house won't bite you in the ass later.

For now, let's get this playing....

---

Yes! You must warn your friends! You set aside the stupid crackers and look at your Chumroll. Only regularTeen, clownWorshiper, and arcticFrost are available at the moment. You should tell Conrada first. She's weird, and is very much more likely to believe you.

PESTERLOG:

You just stare at the screen. You nervously begin eating a cracker again. She knew about this and never told anyone. Combine her untrustworthiness as well as her possible insanity, and you got a dangerous teammate. A teammate in charge of your well being. You swallow the crumbs and talk to Celia, who is hopefully more saner.

PESTERLOG:

You stare at the screen yet again before consuming more crackers. Celia knew too? Is there a whole conspiracy that you don't know about? Whatever. You need to warn Chris. After all, you're his server player.

PESTERLOG:

Outside the window, chaos began to unfold. You glance outside to see some buildings in the distance on fire. Then, a streak comes out of the sky and crashes into the city streets, causing a fire to erupt. You hear the screams of the innocents everywhere.

All you could do is flip the fuck out.

---

You are now CONRADA.

On tv, news flashes has taken over the airtime. They are constantly bringing news of meteors and heatwaves, as well as which cities are being hit. You giggle to yourself. All of those people dying... ha ha ha.... how fun. Perhaps if you still have time before the meteor hits your house, you can go and dance on the ashes.

You're currently waiting for Caspian to get his server disc and help you. Perhaps you could terrify Bill while you're waiting. That'd be amusing. You watch him on your screen. You see that he's currently rolling around the room, spouting incoherent gibberish and chewing crackers. A pathetic guy like him will be a useless slave to keep after he's done being useful. You're going to feel bad about killing him, but Gamzee's word is law.

What will you do?

==>

**FIDUSPAWN** · 08-04-2011, 01:21 AM

>Keep busy by going on the Sburbia website and continue trolling Karkat and his allies.

**LordHyper** · 08-04-2011, 02:08 AM

>Keep busy by going on the Sburbia website and continue trolling Karkat and his allies.

Yes, that shall be very fun. You could tell that you made the guy you were talking to cry. After all, you are the future Bard of Emotion. You pull up the site. Let's see.... nothing noteworthy, other than the announcement that Bill discovered the website first. Then a new post came up...

"we've reached alternia! we'll find gamzee in no time. ; D"
-gardenGnostic posted 5 seconds ago

...Someone... seeking your master? That must not happen.

---

You are now JADE HARLEY.

You and Bec Noir have finally reached Alternia. You're both currently a mile away from an exile city. You're taking the time to inform the others of your progress, while Bec begins eating a bag of kibble like a bag of popcorn. Hmm... Someone's messaging you...

PESTERLOG:

You have never felt so terrifi- wait, okay you've felt even more terrified before. But this is pretty terrifying. Bec looks at you, clearly concerned for your well being.

What were you doing? Ah, that's right. The Gamzee hunt.

==>

**FIDUSPAWN** · 08-04-2011, 02:12 AM

>Keep searching Alternia for Gamzee since there not your friends that she is threatening to kill.

**LordHyper** · 08-04-2011, 03:03 AM

>Keep searching Alternia for Gamzee since there not your friends that she is threatening to kill.

You were going to do that anyway, despite her threat. She'll never know you're going through with it. Just don't announce it on the Sburbia front page this time. He he he, you feel sneaky. Bec takes your hand and you both teleport....

...to EXILE CITY.

The cities on Alternia are now populated by either Exiles or consorts who were lucky to be on vacation when Bec Noir came to destroy their planets. Naturally, you find it awkward to bring Bec here.

Nearby, a crocodile consort dressed in green clothing is running a "hint shop". A Prospitian and Dersite are playing chess at a table on the sidewalk. They are somewhat unnerved by Bec's presence. There used to be a few car drivers, but they all drove off upon seeing Bec. You're seriously considering buying Bec a mask to put on. Maybe a cat mask for irony?

==>

**FIDUSPAWN** · 08-04-2011, 03:09 AM

>Keep it ironic by buying Bec a cat mask.

**LordHyper** · 08-04-2011, 02:29 PM

>Keep it ironic by buying Bec a cat mask.

Hmmm... no mask shops here. Maybe those two guys over there have a mask....

GG: hello!
GG: i'm jade harley!
PS: Greetings. I'm the Prospitian Survivor.
DS: I'm the Dersite Survivor.
[COLOR="rgb(152, 251, 152)"]GG: do any of you guys have a cat mask?[/COLOR]
DS: That question is so ridiculous I don't even...
PS: HOLY CRAP WHAT IS THAT!?
[COLOR="rgb(152, 251, 152)"]GG: oh! that's my dog, bec.[/COLOR]
PS: THE SAME BEC THAT BLEW UP OUR PLANETS!?
DS: OH MY GOD PLEASE SPARE US!
[COLOR="rgb(152, 251, 152)"]GG: i need the cat mask to disguise him![/COLOR]
PS: Oh, here I have one.
DS: ...Why?
PS: FOR SCIENCE!
DS: ....Ah yes. Science.

You get a CAT MASK!

You give it to Bec, who puts it on. It's the perfect disguise.

The two guys continue on with their chess game. Yep, we're never going to see them again in a different place or form. Chekhov's Law is not in effect here. Meanwhile, the crocodile keeps nakking it up.

==>

**FIDUSPAWN** · 08-04-2011, 02:36 PM

>Starting asking the locals if they have seen a person with long hair that goes up, wears makeup with a scar on their face and has horns too.

**LordHyper** · 08-04-2011, 02:59 PM

>Starting asking the locals if they have seen a person with long hair that goes up, wears makeup with a scar on their face and has horns too.

GG: have you seen someone with long hair, makeup, a scar, and some horns?
PS: No. Go talk to the Felt Crocodile over there. He should know something.
DS: Damn it!
PS: See, I told you the white pieces are cursed.
PS: The white pieces always lose.

You head over to a nearby stand. The crocodile looks at you for a moment before adjusting his green suit.

FC: Hello. I assume you need help?
[COLOR="rgb(152, 251, 152)"]GG: do you know someone called Gamzee???[/COLOR]
FC: No, but I shall consult the rest of the Felt network. We are everywhere you know.
FC: Hello. Do you have any information concerning one Gamzee? Hmm... yes. Thank you for your help.
[COLOR="rgb(152, 251, 152)"]GG: what did he say?[/COLOR]
FC: I'm sorry miss, but this troll's location is unknown. He could possibly be in a Pocket.
[COLOR="rgb(152, 251, 152)"]GG: ???[/COLOR]
FC: The Pockets are everywhere. They are rips in reality, which are created when the reality of a new universe is created. You cannot find an entrance to it, and I doubt your dog friend would know a location of one. The only way to get to a Pocket is if you set a location for a Teleportalizer while it's glitched.
FC: There are Teleportalizers somewhere in the city. Be sure to bring your dog, as you may get stuck in the Pocket. That is all of the advice I have to give to you young madam.
[COLOR="rgb(152, 251, 152)"]GG: thank yo-[/COLOR]
FC: That'll be 200 Boondollars.
[COLOR="rgb(152, 251, 152)"]GG: what!?[/COLOR]

==>

**FIDUSPAWN** · 08-04-2011, 03:02 PM

>Pay him the 200 Boondollars for the help and start searching for a glitched Teleportalizer as well.

**LordHyper** · 08-04-2011, 04:20 PM

>Pay him the 200 Boondollars for the help and start searching for a glitched Teleportalizer as well.

GG: i don't have the money...
FC: Well then.
FC: I guess I have to kill you.
[COLOR="rgb(152, 251, 152)"]GG: O_O[/COLOR]
FC: Just kidding. Just bring the money la-

Bec lunges at him, sword in hand. The Felt Crocodile however disappears. His disembodied voice is heard.

FC: Fools. All Felt members are required to bathe in the Green Sun itself to gain temporal powers.
[COLOR="rgb(152, 251, 152)"]GG: but we blew it up![/COLOR]
FC: Weird time shit madam. Weird time shit.

Well then. Let's stop screwing around! We have a troll to find!

---

On Earthternia, meteors fall out of the sky, cities in flames. Soon, the biggest meteors will come. The children are slowly becoming aware of what's happening. The children will become involved in a game that not only affects their universe, but all others, and one will eventually betray the others. However, it's not the clown girl, but she will help bring this child to his/her rise of darkness. Meanwhile, most of the guardians began noticing the meteors, and begin planning for the survival of them and their children.

In the Veil, the trolls and kids have prepared everything. They'll plan to decide who to help. Their help however will soon become more direct as time goes on. As the others work, Kanaya teleports, in search of Doc Scratch. He too is important in this plot, but not in a way you'd expect.

On the Battlefield, the Kings temporarily calls a ceasefire, awaiting for the prototypings that will change the war. Meanwhile, an arch-agent disguises himself as a mailman. The postal service is greatly respected in Skaia and surrounding areas. He would use this disguise to sneak into Prospit, where an assassination will take place.

Seven planets generate. Why only seven? Oh do not worry. It will all make sense in due time. As the lands generate, so do the Marauders, who are built from the same code as Jack Noir and his cronies. However, a glitch is created. But we won't be learning about the glitch until much later.

All of this shit seems pretty real.

END ACT 1

**FIDUSPAWN** · 08-04-2011, 04:33 PM

>Start the Intermission.

**LordHyper** · 08-04-2011, 04:57 PM

>Start the Intermission.

Intermission: The Felt Consorts

The Felt has taken a heavy hit in recent months. Most of it's original members were either killed off by the Midnight Crew, had too many baths in the Green Sun and burned to death, weird time shenanigans, and tragic stair accidents. This has forced Doc Scratch to found a new division of the Felt, the CONSORT DIVISION.

You are now the FELT CROCODILE. You model yourself after Doc Scratch, and hope to become omniscient one day. You have escaped to the CONSORT SECRET BASE after a girl's mad dog tried to kill you. You see the GREEN SPIDER from the LAND OF MAP AND TREASURES and the GUARDIAN ANGEL from the LAND OF WRATH AND ANGELS.

(Will not color text, since they all talk in lime.)

GS: Hehehehehe. Hint business not doing well?
FC: How do you...
FC: Oh right. We are the Felt. We know everything.
GA: What happened?
FC: Jade Harley and her demon dog happened.
GS: Ah yes, Noir. Hehehehehehehe....
GA: I'm glad that my kind didn't suffer his wrath. Most of them were already killed by...
GA: .....THE MOTHERFUCKING FISH FREAK!
FC: Calm down my friend.

Poor Guardian Angel. Always flying into random rages. But you have something to do. The Felt always gets what they want. The Harley girl has shirked off paying you. You will get the money, one way or another.

==>

**FIDUSPAWN** · 08-04-2011, 05:10 PM

>Get the money by robbing her hideout.

**LordHyper** · 08-04-2011, 05:45 PM

>Get the money by robbing her hideout.

That could be a viable option, but you're going to have to wait for LORD LIZARD. He has the power to sense where someone teleported to and where they came from.

GS: Hehehehehe... Check this out. It's a list of new consorts.

Ah yes, a new Sburb session is starting somewhere, meaning more consorts and therefore more recruits. The list is somewhat limited though. Ever since the Green Sun exploded, Doc Scratch's omniscience has been weaker. Let's see the new consorts....

LIST:

Interesting. Having more scientists working for the Felt couldn't hurt, and friendly Imps should be interesting. Having the undead working with you would be pretty damn awesome. You don't care much for the monkeys though.

==>

**FIDUSPAWN** · 08-04-2011, 07:48 PM

>Recruit the monkeys first since it ironic.

**LordHyper** · 08-04-2011, 08:36 PM

>Recruit the monkeys first since it ironic.

...Ah yes, irony, the pinnacle of coolness. Unfortunately, while you are indeed a prominent member, you are not the leader. It's ENGLISHHAT'S decision on what consorts to recruit. Lord Lizard enters the room.

LL: Hello friendssssss.
FC: Lord Lizard. i request you and the others help.
LL: What issssss it?
FC: A girl did not pay me for helping her. As a result, I think I'm going to rob her residence.
GS: Hehehehehehe... Sounds like fun!
GA: I'm with you.
GA: NOBODY FUCKS WITH THE FELT!
LL: Well, it'sssss been boring recently, ssssso I ssssssupossssse I'll help.

And with that you and your friends concoct a diabolical plan. A diabolical plan that is.... EVIL.

THE DIABOLICAL PLAN OF EVIL:

Let's do this shit.

---

You and your friends have arrived in EXILE CITY.

The Prospitian Survivor and Dersite Survivor are still playing chess. They give you and your friends glares. The Felt isn't very popular in this part of the city.

==>

**FIDUSPAWN** · 08-04-2011, 08:46 PM

>Tell them it will be beneficial for you both if you help us here.

**LordHyper** · 08-04-2011, 09:20 PM

>Tell them it will be beneficial for you both if you help us here.

You and your gang of cronies go over to them.

(Felt member discussion is colored when talking to other people.)

FC: Greetings.
PS: ....
DS: ....
FC: We have come to request your help. My friend has lost the trail of a teleporter here, and we would wish to know the exact place they teleported from. I am aware that I was here earlier, but I'm rather forgetful.
GA: If you help us...
GA: OUR GLORIOUS MASTER WILL NOT DEVOUR YOUR SOUL WHEN HE ENTERS YOUR DIMENSION!
GA: What do you say?
GS: Hehehehehe.... Tell us or..... I'LL EAT YOU!
PS: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
DS: Oh god.
LL: What'ssssss wrong with him? He actssssss like he'ssssss ssssseen Uboa.
DS: Well...

He thinks back to when he and Prospitian Survivor were the Derse Soldier and Prospit Soldier.

PS: Will they fall for my mailman disguise?
DS: Don't worry. As long as you carry that package, you could get into Derse.
PS: Hey, what's that thing over there?
PS: Is that a castle?
PS: I think I'll get closer....
DS: I advise not.
DS: Don't do it.

That's when PS got a good look of the horrible abomination that was the Black King. His monster like features, his two heads, and most ominously, the spider legs keeping him walking. From that day on, PS would have nightmares of seeing the horrific creature, and the simple sight of a spider or a crown would have him screaming.

DS: Thanks. Thanks a lot.
DS: Now I have to drag him back to therapy.
DS: Screw your Doc English or Lord Scratch or whatever.

....That did not go well.

==>

**FIDUSPAWN** · 08-04-2011, 09:33 PM

>Used Plan B instead.

**LordHyper** · 08-04-2011, 10:27 PM

>Used Plan B instead

You guys walk around until Lord Lizard senses an aura.

LL: Hold my hand. I know where sssssshe comesssss from. Teleport FC.
FC: Will do.

All of you connects hands. By holdings hands with Lord Lizard, you can see his knowledge: a lone meteor floating below Skaia. You unleash your temporal energy and you teleport.... right above the meteor. You all fall down on top of it. Except Guardian Angel.

GA: FLYING MOTHERFUCKERS FOREVER!
GA: Hey, what are you all staring at?

You and the others are staring into the sky: you see the remnants of various planets. You fondly remember life in your old planet before it's destruction by the horrible demon. Then you stop caring.

FC: Green Spider, is it a more viable option to sneak in or charge in?
GS: Hmmm... If we charge in, we will be beaten up by the people inside. Hehehehehe, sneaking in is the only option.

==>

**FIDUSPAWN** · 08-04-2011, 10:30 PM

>Sneak in since it really is the better option.

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