Sburbia [TEXT ADVENTURE]

[FIDUSPAWN]

>Put both discs in there at the same time to see if makes the game twice as fun compare to one disc.

[LordHyper]

>Put both discs in there at the same time to see if makes the game twice as fun compare to one disc

Yes. Hell yes. Hell fucking yes! That's a perfect idea! If you use two discs instead of one, it clearly means that the game will be twice as fun! Math has never failed you yet! You put both of the discs into the grove and push the slot back in. You hear noises from the computer....

Suddenly, the drive pops back out, spewing both of the discs. The one that Conrada sent you is now broken in two. However, the Sburb disc is more resistant, and it bounces around the room....

And down the hole into the SECRET TO THE SECRET BASEMENT BELOW THE NORMAL BASEMENT BUT THIS SECRET IS ACTUALLY THE SEWERS.

God damn it.

GOD DAMN YOU MATH! GOD DAMN YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

==>

[FIDUSPAWN]

>Be angry at math forever and then start searching for the Sburb disc in the sewers too.

[intangibleInsight]

>Try a summoning spell on the Sburb disc.

[LordHyper]

>Try a summoning spell on the Sburb disc

You take out your spell book and look for a simple summoning spell. You simply have to imagine the disc and where it's at so that it can be summoned. You close your eyes and imagine the disc....

Oh my god... There's so many lines on the disc.

So... many... details.... What was the color again?

Damn it. You can't do it. You can't precisely remember the disc. Well.... there's only one thing to do....

You fall down the hole.

---

Meanwhile, most of the other kids are now talking together.

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MF: Are we finally doing this???
RT: What about DM?
CW: Don't worry about that motherfucker. I sent him a disc with Pesterchum on it.
CW: The motherfucker's going to talk to us later.
EG: Alright, I got some CHIPS, a COLA, and the game.
EG: Should we start now?
KA: Yes.
KA: We are currently too preoccupied. We'll join you later.
KA: STOP BREAKDANCING AL!
[COLOR="rgb(160, 82, 45)"]RT: Oh good lord what's wIth that guy and dancIng.
RT: He's just so terrIble at It.[/COLOR]
[COLOR="rgb(46, 139, 87)"]MF: Agreed...[/COLOR]
CW: Damn straight.
CE: CHOO CHOO! His moves burn my eyes!
AF: I'm herrre guys!
[COLOR="rgb(245, 222, 179)"]EG: Everyone ready except the trio and DM I guess![/COLOR]
[COLOR="rgb(160, 82, 45)"]RT: All rIght.
RT: Where makIng thIs happen.
RT: Damn It, pressed 'h' agaIn.[/COLOR]
[COLOR="rgb(46, 139, 87)"]MF: Alright,,, there'''s two discs...
MF: From examining the game'''s packaging.........
MF: Each player must have a server player playing with them.[/COLOR]
CW: Alright! I call the hungry motherfucker!
[COLOR="rgb(245, 222, 179)"]EG: Hey
EG: I'm not HUNGRY, I just love FOOD.[/COLOR]
CW: Yeah yeah.
KA: I'll be Nikola's server player.
CE: I guess I'll be the mean kid's!
[COLOR="rgb(0, 255, 255)"]AF: I'm going to help Caspian![/COLOR]
[COLOR="rgb(160, 82, 45)"]RT: I'll be Flora's I guess.[/COLOR]
[COLOR="rgb(46, 139, 87)"]MF: I'''ll stick with CE.[/COLOR]
RT: That leaves FF or LE to be your server player JulIa.
KA: OH GOD NOT ALFRED.
CE: Just hope LE doesn't team up with AF!
CE: I'm starting the install.
CE: VROOOOM! All aboard!
[COLOR="rgb(160, 82, 45)"]RT: Let's go.[/COLOR]
CW: HA HA HONK HA HA!
KA: Back to getting to the computer room then.
[COLOR="rgb(46, 139, 87)"]MF: LOOKS BEHIND MYSELF FOR SISTER...
MF: Okay,,, no one here to interrupt me...[/COLOR]
[COLOR="rgb(245, 222, 179)"]EG: Om nom nom...
EG: Downloading...[/COLOR]
CW: I'll be with the magical motherfucker if not one of the orphans.
[COLOR="rgb(0, 255, 255)"]AF: Caspian's an okay guy.
AF: Okay, maybe his fatherrr's crrrazy, but still.[/COLOR]
[COLOR="rgb(160, 82, 45)"]RT: StIllllll downloadIIIIIIIng......[/COLOR]

---

You are now KARKAT VANTAS.

You are pissed as hell. These guys are actually going through with it. They have no idea what kind of shit they just dug themselves into.

You glance at the others. They're currently away from their computers, sharing a pizza and chatting among themselves. Gog damn idiots.

==>

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I somehow managed to lose track of who's a server player of who. Ah well. I'll figure it out later.

[intangibleInsight]

>Start trolling the one who will be first to enter.

[LordHyper]

>Start trolling the one who will be first to enter

You glance at the others. Still talking and eating. Idiots. I guess it's up to you to troll people for now. You take out Pesterchum. It has been upgraded to let you know who has installed Sburb and let's you talk to them. Let's see who it is...

clownWorshiper

clownWorshiper

clownWorshiper

Oh shit.

PESTERLOG:

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CG: HEY.
CG: IS THIS YOU GAMZEE?
CW: HA HA HONK HA HA!
[COLOR="rgb(105, 105, 105)"]CG: OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK![/COLOR]
CW: You must be the motherfucker my master keeps talking about.
[COLOR="rgb(105, 105, 105)"]CG: MASTER!?
CG: COMPLETE BATSHIT NUTCASE IS MORE LIKE IT!
CG: HOW DARE YOU WORSHIP THIS PIECE OF CRAP!?[/COLOR]
CW: Shut up.
[COLOR="rgb(105, 105, 105)"]CG: WHAT...[/COLOR]
CW: I said shut the motherfuck up motherfucker.
CW: Don't call Gamzee a piece of crap.
CW: He is gog.
CW: And you people are the motherfucking idiots who hate him.
[COLOR="rgb(105, 105, 105)"]CG: WE USED TO LIKE THE FREAK, BUT HE TURNED CRAZY ON US![/COLOR]
CW: No.
CW: He didn't turn crazy.
CW: He realized who he motherfucking was all the motherfucking long.
[COLOR="rgb(105, 105, 105)"]CG: ....[/COLOR]
CW: So just sit back, relax, and watch the motherfucking miracles happen.
CW: HA HA HONK HA HA!
CW: Welcome to the motherfucking dark carnival!
CW: HA HA HONK HA HA!

You briefly feel a tear coming from your seeing globes. It reminded you of when Gamzee had finally cracked. That was the worst day of your life.

Well, Sgrub was the worst day of your life, but that's not the point.

==>

[FIDUSPAWN]

>Tell her that he killed Equius and Nepeta for the fun of it.

[LordHyper]

>Tell her that he killed Equius and Nepeta for the fun of it

You need to set this girl straight. Who knows, maybe she'll go slaughter her friends?

PESTERLOG:

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CG: HEY
[COLOR="rgb(105, 105, 105)"]CG: YOU THINK GAMZEE'S ALL HIGH AND MIGHTY, RIGHT!?[/COLOR]
CW: Of course.
[COLOR="rgb(105, 105, 105)"]CG: WELL I'LL LET YOU KNOW THAT THE BASTARD KILLED TWO OF OUR FRIENDS!
CG: JUST FOR GOGDAMN LAUGHS![/COLOR]
CW: He had his reasons.
CW: The first guy didn't motherfucking kneel.
CW: And the other didn't hail him.
CW: It's customary for all motherfuckers to hail a Subjugglator when they kill someone.
[COLOR="rgb(105, 105, 105)"]CG: THEY DIDN'T KNOW THAT![/COLOR]
CW: The first one is a believer in the caste system.
CW: He knew motherfucking well to kneel.
CW: The second attacked Gamzee instead of hail him.
CW: It's your friends fault, not Lord Gamzee's.
[COLOR="rgb(105, 105, 105)"]CG: WHAT IS THIS, I DON'T EVEN-[/COLOR]
CW: My client disc is done installing.
CW: Sorry motherfucker, I have things to do.
CW: Go cry over your motherfucking dead friends,
CW: while the miracles will begin happening.

You angrily slam the table. Not only is this girl not believing you, but she insulted the memories of your dear friends by justifying their murder! You try to talk to her again, but she somehow managed to block you. Sollux can fix that.

Sollux and the others are still unaware. Gog, these guys are so useless!

==>

[FIDUSPAWN]

>Karkat: Have Sollux become aware of this and fix this problem too.

[intangibleInsight]

>Karkat: Yell at the others. You're the leader here, goddammit!

[LordHyper]

>Karkat: Yell at the others. You're the leader here, goddammit!

Yeah! You're the leader! Without your great leadership, all of these idiots will just fall apart! This was one of the great lessons taught to you by Jack Noir, your best friend. Okay, 5th best friend. Well technically, Gamzee's gone crazy, so he's your 4th best friend. What were you doing? Oh right.

You stand on top of your chair...

CG: HEY FUCKASSES!
EB: Hi Karkat!
[COLOR="rgb(105, 105, 105)"]CG: SHUT UP EGBERT! THIS IS SERIOUS![/COLOR]
GA: What Seems To Be The Problem
[COLOR="rgb(105, 105, 105)"]CG: WHILE YOU IDIOTS WERE TOO BUSY SOCIALIZING AND EATING THE SHITTY HUMAN DELICACY CALLED PIZZA[/COLOR]
GA: I Beg To Differ This Pizza Is Rather Delicious
[COLOR="rgb(105, 105, 105)"]CG: NOT THE POINT!
CG: THEY'RE STARTING TO PLAY THE GAME![/COLOR]
TG: oh shit
[COLOR="rgb(105, 105, 105)"]CG: YEAH! IF IT WEREN'T FOR MY LEADERSHIP, NONE OF YOU WOULD NOTICE!
CG: THIS IS WHY I'M LEADER. NONE OF YOU GUYS CAN'T BE TRUSTED WITH SUCH SUPERIORITY![/COLOR]
AA: yes yes you give this speech just about every other day
GG: tee hee
EB: She got you there!
TT: You tend to ramble a lot.
[COLOR="rgb(105, 105, 105)"]CG: SILENCE YOU DAMN PINK FLESH THINGS![/COLOR]
GC: W3 SHOULD B3 G3TT1NG 1NTO 4CT1ON, R1GHT?
[COLOR="rgb(105, 105, 105)"]CG: FINALLY SOMEONE WITH THE SENSE TO DO SOMETHING!
CG: YEAH! MAKE SURE THE WEBSITE WORKS!
CG: PREPARE TO TROLL... I MEAN HELP THESE IDIOTS!
CG: AND SOLLUX....[/COLOR]
TA: yeah?
[COLOR="rgb(105, 105, 105)"]CG: THERE'S THIS KID THAT SOMEHOW BLOCKED ME.
CG: AND SPEAKING OF WHICH, GAMZEE'S BEEN TALKING TO HER![/COLOR]
[COLOR="rgb(152, 251, 152)"]GG: oh no!!!!! O_O[/COLOR]
[COLOR="rgb(46, 139, 87)"]GC: SH1T.[/COLOR]
[COLOR="rgb(139, 0, 0)"]AA: oh dear[/COLOR]
TA: ill see what i can d0
TA: i hacked into the freaky guy's typewriter, s0 i can do this n0 problem
GA: Oh Yes Speaking Of Doc Scratch
GA: I Plan On Enlisting His Help
GA: The Kid's Futures Are Obscured By Some Type Of Interference
GA: Doc Scratch However Is Omniscient And Could See Into Their Futures
[COLOR="rgb(105, 105, 105)"]CG: NO! HE'S EVIL I SAY! EEEEEEEEEEEEEVIIIIIIIIL![/COLOR]
[COLOR="rgb(221, 160, 221)"]TT: Have you been listening to your version of Jack Noir again?[/COLOR]
[COLOR="rgb(105, 105, 105)"]CG: MAYBE.
CG: BUT HE'S A BAD DUDE! I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BLOOD PUMPER!
CG: BESIDES, BECAUSE OF THIS, WE CAN TROLL THESE GUYS LINEARLY!
CG: UNLIKE LAST TIME.[/COLOR]
GA: Yes
GA: But We Need To Have As Much Help As Possible
[COLOR="rgb(105, 105, 105)"]CG: GRRRR... FINE!
CG: AND YOU! HAPPY GIRL![/COLOR]
[COLOR="rgb(46, 139, 87)"]GC: M3?[/COLOR]
[COLOR="rgb(105, 105, 105)"]CG: NO! THE OTHER ONE![/COLOR]
[COLOR="rgb(152, 251, 152)"]GG: hi![/COLOR]
[COLOR="rgb(105, 105, 105)"]CG: GO GET YOUR DEVILBEAST! GAMZEE'S PLANNING SOMETHING, AND WE NEED TO HUNT THAT GUY DOWN AND STOP WHATEVER IT IS![/COLOR]
[COLOR="rgb(152, 251, 152)"]GG: but we tried that before![/COLOR]
[COLOR="rgb(105, 105, 105)"]CG: LISTEN, IF THIS GAMZEE KEEPS COMMANDING THIS GIRL, SHE'LL EVENTUALLY GO KILL HER FRIENDS!
CG: DO YOU WANT THAT STEWING IN YOUR THINK PAN FOREVER!?[/COLOR]
[COLOR="rgb(152, 251, 152)"]GG: no. = ([/COLOR]
[COLOR="rgb(105, 105, 105)"]CG: THEN GO! THE REST OF YOU, GET EVERYTHING PREPARED, MAKE SURE EVERYTHING WORKS....[/COLOR]

You are now JADE HARLEY.

It's been a long time since you were on the hunt. You have attempted to find Gamzee in the past, but to no avail.

But no animal escapes you.

==>

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I hope I got the colors right. I'm not going back to edit it. So... much... color code.... O_O

[FIDUSPAWN]

>Jade: Used you special space shades to search for him.

[LordHyper]

>Jade: Used you special space shades to search for him

You've tried. However, it is somehow clogged with the same interference that's plaguing the computers. You occasionally see through the interference and see Gamzee sitting at a computer, but otherwise, you don't see a thing.

You transportalize to the transportalizer hub, where you hop into Nepeta's transportalizer. You, John, Rose, and Dave took up the rooms of some of the deceased trolls: Nepeta's, Eridan's, Feferi's, and Equius' respectively. Tavros' room has turned into a meeting room and Vriska's has become a bit of a graveyard. Let them all rest in peace.

You feel sad whenever you go into Nepeta's room. The walls contain her faint scribbles and drawings. You've been updating her shipping wall in her memory. A lot of your stuff now fills the room, along with a bag of kibble. Speaking of which, you're going to need that....

Now, where could Bec be?

==>

[FIDUSPAWN]

>Make a irradiated steak by using picture modus in order to see if that enough to convince Bec to go to your current location.

[LordHyper]

>Make a irradiated steak by using picture modus in order to see if that enough to convince Bec to go to your current location

You don't need to do that.

You take out your GREEN SUN IRRADIATED STEAK GUN.

You shoot several steaks in the air. That's when Bec Noir teleports in. He eats several of them, chewing them up easily and swallowing them. He then draws his sword and cuts the last steak to pieces and devours all of it in one gulp. You applaud happily.

Bec gives you a happy look. He's only happy when he's all alone with you. Otherwise, he'd growl at everyone else and threaten to stab them.

==>

[FIDUSPAWN]

>Ask him if he found out anything about the whereabouts of Gamzee.

[LordHyper]

>Ask him if he found out anything about the whereabouts of Gamzee.

He shrugs and growls. Apparently, he's been searching not only the veil, but also Derse and the lands. However, that narrowed Gamzee's location down to Alternia and it's moons.

GG: time to go on a hunt Bec! = D

Bec turns around, allowing you to climb onto his back. Next thing you know, both of you are floating outside of the meteor. He looks up at you.

GG: to alternia!

The devilbeast spreads his wings and takes flight. The hunt for Gamzee is on.

---

You are now BILL ROBERTS.

You are still waiting for Sburb to install. What will you do now?

==>

[FIDUSPAWN]

>Keep busy by talking to someone new on the Sburbia website.

[LordHyper]

>Keep busy by talking to someone new on the Sburbia website.

The Sburbia website has never worked before for you. In fact, it didn't work for anyone. Regardless, you're going to try.

You type in the url, making sure not to forget the skaia.net part. You press enter....

Instead of bringing you to a blank page this time, it brought you to a real website. The logo reads Sburbia, with the game's logo behind it. You go down to the welcome comments, and freeze.

Welcome

If You Are Reading This Right Now, You Have Installed Sburb. However, Hurry Up And Skim Through This Site For Now. Great Destruction Shall Be Coming Shortly To Your House. Please Go To The "Starting The Game" Section Immediately.

CONGRATULATIONS

LET'S ALL GIVE A BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE TO BILL ROBERTS, FOR GETTING THE IDEA TO COME TO THIS STUPID SITE BEFORE WE ACTUALLY TOLD HIS STUPID ASS.

BILL, IF YOU ARE READING THIS, YOU ARE SLIGHTLY LESS DUMB THAN THE REST OF YOUR FRIENDS. NOW HURRY UP AND DO WHAT THE POST ABOVE TOLD YOU, NOW!

==>

[FIDUSPAWN]

>Follow what the Gray Text person said exactly since he knew your name and said you were the smartest of your group of friends too.

[LordHyper]

>Follow what the Gray Text person said exactly since he knew your name and said you were the smartest of your group of friends too

Can't deny him. He said you were the smartest person in the group.... whoever he is. How did he know you? And how did he know the exact moment you'd show up? Whatever. Let's do what he says.

You click the category, "Starting the Game".

- How to Work the Interface (For Server Players!) - by tentacleTherapist
- Your Imminent Destruction - by tentacleTherapist
- The Cruxtrader - by tentacleTherapist
- John Egbert's Guide to Alchemy - by ectoBiologist
- how to get the fuck out of there - by turntechGodhead

Huh? Who are these guys? Have they played Sburb before? If they had, did they steal it from the makers? Ah well. As Conrada always says, "miracles".

==>

[FIDUSPAWN]

>Read the "Your Imminent Destruction" article first.

[LordHyper]

>Read the "Your Imminent Destruction" article first

"Your Imminent Destruction?" That doesn't sound too good. You click on it.

---

Your Imminent Destruction
by tentacleTherapist
Sidenotes added by apocalypseArisen

Upon starting the game, you may begin hearing news of destruction, and in some cases, a sudden heatwave. This is to be expected. This is the cause of something called 'the Reckoning'. You will not learn about the Reckoning until later. Basically, meteors will descend upon your planet. Small ones will impact on cities and countries, while the big meteors head for the homes of the players. You cannot prevent this destruction. It'll come, no matter what. The only thing you can do is minimize the damage, but it must take fast acting on the players part.

As noted earlier, the biggest meteors will land on the house's of the players. In order to escape the meteor, the players must alchemize a pre-made card, releasing an object of some sort. Upon breaking the object, the player's home, along with everyone and everything in it will be transported to a dimension called the Medium. Unfortunately, this will not stop the meteor from killing your neighbors. While it's never been tried, it could be possible to evacuate everyone into your house before transporting to the Medium, but it wouldn't be wise to test this.

In order to know how much longer does it take for the meteor to strike, your server player must deploy a crux trader, which comes with a countdown telling how long you have left.

Best of luck to you and the other players.

Side-Note - In Some Cases, Meteors Won't Be The Only Disaster To Strike. In Our Sburb (Or Rather Sgrub) Session, All Of Our Kind Was Killed Off By Something Called The Vast Glub. Please Be Cautious Of Any Life Threatening Catastrophic Events.

---

You stare at the screen for a few seconds after reading this. You try to process what you just read. The world's going to be destroyed by meteors.... and the biggest ones heading for you and your friends houses!

You take the time to flip the fuck out.

---

You are now NIKOLA ANGIER.

You are currently on the first floor of the orphanage. You smell the delicious aroma of tacos coming from one of the hallways.

What will you do now?

==>

[FIDUSPAWN]

>Go into the hallway in order to eat those tacos since your hungry and need to eat first.