Hoofstuck

[Violet CLM]

THREAD #2






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Read Hoofstuck on the mirror!
(While "mirror" is the traditional term, the above link is really the canonical version of Hoofstuck. Typos and continuity issues are likelier to be fixed, and certain panels appear there that do not appear here for technical reasons. Adventure panels are posted in this thread only for convenience.)

Your name is Applejack, and you are sleeping sound. Twilight ain't fooling round your farm with her magics, Rainbow ain't looking to test you in no race, and none of them other friends of yours are bugging you right now neither. After that hootenanny at Pinkie Pie's last night in honor of her new gadget, you'd bet they're all five sleeping just as sound as you are right about now.

CRASH.



Well, nuts and shoes, what was that noise? Couldn't rightly tell where it came from, neither, with your eyes fast shut like that. Somepony's got some explaining to do.


>Don't bother. Keep sleeping.

[Ford Johnes]

>Don't bother. Keep sleeping.

[Asmodemus]

> Better get up and get to it, not like anypony else is going to take responsibility.

> Recall Pinkie Pie's latest invention.

[Trunks]

> What are you waiting for, Applejack? Let's go check it out!

[Violet CLM]

>Don't bother. Keep sleeping.

Now there's a thought! You're none so froufrou as Rarity, but everypony knows the value of getting her beauty sleep. Trouble is, when you try and drift off some more, the dreams don't come. You can kinda see what looks like your barn instead, only all orangish, but can't seem to get no closer. Mighty strange feeling, not being in charge in your own head. Reckon it ain't no use going back to sleep just now.

> Recall Pinkie Pie's latest invention

Yeah, here's the thing, sugarcube. You were really plum tired last night after sampling some of Granny Smith's new mead that you brought over to the party, and lit out afore Pinkie could explain it to you too good. Plus you never were too clear on those inventiony things. If it don't run on some nice strong colt pushing it along, then it probably ain't your cup of mead. Tea. Consarn it.

You reckon you had really better look into whatever made that sound. First, though, you gotta figure out where you're heading to look for it.


> Take a good long look around.

[Roselalonde]

What. Pony adventure?

[littlebeasti]

> Check the barn, probably. Good a place to start as any.

[Copygoo]

>First do a quick 360 scan of the immediate area. If you can't see anything, head over to the barn.

[Asmodemus]

> Take a good long look around.

> Wait, isn't Twilight the one that invents things? Pinkie usually bakes, right?

[Violet CLM]

show spoiler

hide spoiler

> Wait, isn't Twilight the one that invents things? Pinkie usually bakes, right?

Usually, but we get to see her mechanical expertise in e.g. Griffon the Brush Off.

> Take a good long look around.

Righto. Well, there's Carrot Top's house off there a ways. She rents a parcel of y'all's land and's always been the best of neighbors. Bit retiring, maybe. Don't see nothing wrong with her place.


There's the old barn, looking normal. Home comforts upstairs, pigs and storage space downstairs, except lately the pigs've been acting nervous and you've been sleeping in the barn proper to keep'em calm. Fluttershy offered to help, but you've been calming them farm animals since you were littler than Apple Bloom. Not a thing to it.


Most of the farm is apple orchard, a course. Apples 'n trees 'n apples 'n trees as far as the eye can... aw, hay nah. Is that a box in your tree?


>Head toward the barn

[BoisseauMR]

> Try to get box. Fail.

[Asmodemus]

> Go speak to that pegasus, is it Ditzy Doo or Derpy Hooves?

[Crazy-8]

>Head toward the barn

[Copygoo]

>Try to get the package.
>Also berate your mailman.

[littlebeasti]

This clearly must be Pinkie's fault. Berate HER.

> Wait, isn't Twilight the one that invents things? Pinkie usually bakes, right?

Pinkie can do anything.

[MochaBean]

> Use your lasso to rope and package and/or Derpy.

[Violet CLM]

>Head toward the barn

Sure thing. That box can hold for a spell while you make sure your barn's in order. That orange dream thing was pretty strange. Everything looks fine in here, though. Your trusty ROPE hangs from one peg on the wall, right near a RAKE PITCHFORK. Don't look like no one's tampered with either of'em. There's also a BUCKET OF APPLES for when you get hungry in the middle of the night, and...

See, one day Apple Bloom took it into her head that she was really cut out for toy making, and Scootaloo got involved, and next thing you knew you had gotten this little RAINBOW DASH FIGURINE. You keep it around cause she's your best gal and it reminds you to stay athletic for whatever fool things she decides to compete against you in. It don't look too much like her, really, but it's cute enough and it's not like you'd ever take it with you no place.

Somepony starts a knocking at the other door. Sounds like ol' Derpy Hooves saw you come in here and decided to chat.

>Berate your mailman mailpony.

Well, "berate" sounds a trifle strong. Poor Derpy... well, you're not sure she's quite all there, y'know? Dedicated worker, heart of gold, but a little off in the head. You'd feel right awful laying into her for an accident like that. Never let it be said that anypony was treated with anything less than respect and dignity at Sweet Apple Acres. Even if this pony does start to say things a bit weird when she gets too excited.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!" she says, her wings flapping mighty agitated-like.

"Whoa! Calm down there a moment, sugarcube," you say, and wait until she begins to relax a little. "Why don't y'all tell me what the matter is?"

"I had a mail for you!" she answers. "Um, a box! A package! And I was flying it straight here when it just dropped out of my hooves! If the mail hurt your tree, I promise I'll bits for it." She leans forward for what you guess is a conspiratorial whisper. "Just please don't tell Mr. Brown about this, I can't drop any more or he says he'll have to let go of me."

"Don't you worry none about that, Derpy. Way I see it, you got that box right close to me and that's all we can really ask of the mail, ain't it? What's in this box, anyhow?"

"I don't know! I was flying by the Cakes when Pinkie Pie sent me this to give it to you. Oh no, I didn't awake you, did I? Pinkie Pie said you might be sleeping when I got here and I'm sorry if I did!"

You grin hesitantly. "Well... maybe you woke me up a little, but I wouldn't make a fuss. You just sit down a spell before going back to work, is all, you look mighty upset right now."

"That sounds good!" she says, instantly overjoyed. "Can I come in and rest in your place?"

"Umm... no?" Hospitality's hospitality, but Carrot Top's told you what happened when she let Derpy rest up in her home. Derpy looks sad, you think, but she flies away soon enough.


> Use rope and rake to construct a rudimentary slide for the package that will totally not result in it falling on your head.

[Asmodemus]

> Well, you better go get your rope and a ladder to arrange to get that box down gently to avoid breaking whatever's inside.. any more.

[littlebeasti]

> Use rope and rake to construct a rudimentary slide for the package that will totally not result in it falling on your head.

[Violet CLM]

> Use rope and rake to construct a rudimentary slide for the package that will totally not result in it falling on your head.


One step at a time there, cowboy. You add the ROPE and the PITCHFORK to the CAPTCHALOGUE DECK of your SYLLADEX. You've looked into this thing a fair bit and you've gotten to understand your FETCH MODUS, which is called APPLES TO APPLES: APPLE TURNOVER. Seems in addition to your red captchalogue cards, you've also got yourself a big deck of GREEN APPLE CARDS. Currently the randomly dealt cards in your HAND are "Small," "Strong," "Harsh," "Miserable," and "Enchanting."

When y'all want to get a captchalogue card outta your sylladex, y'all gotta play one of the green apple cards from your hand. Then some anonymous judge'll give you the captchalogue card that best matches whatever green apple card got played, and another green apple card'll be dealt at random from the deck to make up for the one y'all used up. T'ain't nothing to it. Usually.

Now, you'd like to create some sort of slide from these things, but you're not quite sure how that'd look just yet. Let's get specific.


> You could just fire up Ponychum and ask Dash to just fly up and grab it for you

[Asmodemus]

> Get ladder, go up to crate. Tie rope around crate and then around a thick tree branch and finally to something heavy that won't move when you nudge the crate off. Then untie it and gently lower it yourself.

[littlebeasti]

BEST FETCH MODUS

>Tie each end of the rope to one end of the rake, tie the middle of the rope to the branch under the crate, pull taut, jostle crate.

[Copygoo]

>Alternatively, grab a big pile of hay then place it at the base of the tree and knock the crate down with the rake.

[*Sigh*]

>Just use the rope and yank the package out of the tree. No need to be so fancy shmancy.

[tectonicRobot]

Well well WELL, this looks interesting.

>Look for a long, flat, thin surface, like a plank of wood.