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Thread: Let's Play Stupid Computer People!

  1. #1
    Chwoka's Avatar
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    Let's Play Stupid Computer People!



    What's this game about?

    It's about the people who live inside your computer.

    What?!

    Okay, let me start over. This game is escapism for exciting people. You get to create and unleash an avatar of yourself

    Oh man like Tron?!

    into an oppressively average suburban neighborhood.

    Oh.

    Some of the highlights of the game include:

    • Paying your bills!
    • Decorating your own house!
    • Getting a job!

    You know, like you do in the real world. But what makes this game special is the AI. It's robust for 1985, but even then the people clearly didn't act like real people. You can't really control them too well, other than clicking somewhere to tell them to go to that spot, so they'll often do things like walk right past the filled fridge three times and starve to death, or complain about being in each other's way for two hours until they break down crying and fall asleep. It makes you wonder why they even decided to make the game in the first place, if the concept was redundant by itself and the hardware couldn't handle it.

    So, let's get cracking!

    TABLE OF CONTENTS



    FANART


    _________________________________________________

    PART 1: CHARACTER CREATION


    Welcome to the exciting world of 1985, people. Don your sunglasses for a late-night screening of Back To The Future.


    Okay, so once you click the "New Game" button, it boots you right to the character creation screen, without so much as a hint of an explanation. This is probably the single busiest character creation screen I've ever seen in my life, so let's just look at the one in the top left:



    This is your Head of Household, which is why the options are more limited. You'll notice the Baby, Kid, Cat, and Dog buttons are missing, because none of those can even theoretically be homeowners. The On/Off buttons are also missing, because you need at least one Stupid Computer Person to play. Everything else on this screen is adjustable. Those tabs on the left side switch the controls to control different aspects of your Stupid Computer Person than the ones on display here. We will go over those later. For now, I'm gonna need you guys to pick:

    • The number of Stupid Computer People in our household, up to 12.
    • A name.
    • A gender. There's only two genders available, I'm sorry if that just plays into the cisgendered heteronormative misogynist patriarchy.
    • A skin color, and yes, gray is an option. No, I don't know why. Aliens maybe?
    • An age.
    • The starting cash you have, from $5,000 to $50,000 in $5,000 increments. This is basically the difficulty slider.
    Last edited by Chwoka; 12-23-2011 at 03:46 PM.

  2. #2
    Jacquerel's Avatar
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    Re: Let's Play Stupid Computer People!

    Five isn't too big to be unmanageable
    Steve is the best name
    Steve is a man's name
    Steve must be vampirically pale (or gray I guess)
    Steve is OLD
    Be hardcore and start with $5000

  3. #3
    Avatar by Pharms : D Moderator ProfessorLizzard's Avatar
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    Re: Let's Play Stupid Computer People!

    Two is enough for now
    Eric Warburg. He is male. Nice tan. He has 10k$ and he is 20 years old.

  4. #4
    KICKIN' RAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! piester's Avatar
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    Re: Let's Play Stupid Computer People!

    Shit, lets be 12 angry men.
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  5. #5
    Thief of Hearts Reecer6's Avatar
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    Re: Let's Play Stupid Computer People!

    OH HEY GUYS I HAVE A GREAT IDEA THAT IS NEW AND NO ONE THOUGHT OF IT LET'S MAKE THE TROLLS HERPA DERP! :P
    But really:
    >7, for a normal family with 2.5 kids, plus a roommate and his cat.
    >Home McOwner
    >Male
    >4th from the left, in fact do that to everyone but the roommate who'll be gray
    >Young adult
    >$5,000
    hello friends, i still exist.
    Avatar by Nimz.

  6. #6
    Chwoka's Avatar
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    Re: Let's Play Stupid Computer People!

    Quote Originally Posted by Reecer6 View Post
    OH HEY GUYS I HAVE A GREAT IDEA THAT IS NEW AND NO ONE THOUGHT OF IT LET'S MAKE THE TROLLS HERPA DERP! :P
    oh g-god

    i didn't

    i didn't even realize...

  7. #7
    Chwoka's Avatar
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    Re: Let's Play Stupid Computer People!

    (5+2+12+7)/4 = 6.5



    We have a happy household of six. Six people who have the complexion of zombies. Let's fix that, shall we?



    Meet Steve "Hombre" Warburg. He decided to change his name to something more American so he could actually have a chance to get a good job. He moved out of his parent's house and took his $5000 with him. But then came the hard decisions, such as:




    "Oh my God, what shirt color should I wear?!"

    And don't even get him started on the sleeve length!
    Last edited by Chwoka; 08-02-2011 at 05:07 PM.

  8. #8
    Whimbrel's Avatar
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    Re: Let's Play Stupid Computer People!

    TEAL
    ["Art"]Want to talk to adventurers? Come join us!Lore.

  9. #9
    Jacquerel's Avatar
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    Re: Let's Play Stupid Computer People!

    EYE BURNING YELLOW

  10. #10
    KICKIN' RAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! piester's Avatar
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    Re: Let's Play Stupid Computer People!

    Shirt? Who ever said anything about a shirt?
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  11. #11
    Thief of Hearts Reecer6's Avatar
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    Re: Let's Play Stupid Computer People!

    >Dark blue, but not REALLY dark blue
    >Long, you are always cold
    hello friends, i still exist.
    Avatar by Nimz.

  12. #12
    Avatar by Pharms : D Moderator ProfessorLizzard's Avatar
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    Re: Let's Play Stupid Computer People!

    Dark Slate Grey is a lovely shade of blue

  13. #13
    Chwoka's Avatar
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    Re: Let's Play Stupid Computer People!

    Quote Originally Posted by ProfessorLizzard View Post
    Dark Slate Grey is a lovely shade of blue, FUCKASS

  14. #14
    Mage of Unfinished Projects poshiyoshi's Avatar
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    Re: Let's Play Stupid Computer People!



    Purple. Purple is nice.

  15. #15

    Re: Let's Play Stupid Computer People!

    Pink is the color of masculinity!

  16. #16

    Re: Let's Play Stupid Computer People!

    NO SHIRT, obviously.

  17. #17
    Am I Kawaii? (´・ω・`) KawaiiMelon's Avatar
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    Re: Let's Play Stupid Computer People!

    Quote Originally Posted by poshiyoshi View Post
    not to mention Office Worker, one of my favorites!'

    also, hot pink shirt.
    aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaa

  18. #18
    Chwoka's Avatar
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    Re: Let's Play Stupid Computer People!

    Long - 1
    Short - 0
    No Shirt - 2

    (Of course, a "No Shirt" vote is essentially a vote for "Please throw away my vote." Besides that, every other vote is an implicit "Yes Shirt" vote.)

    Teal - 2
    Yellow - 1
    Pink - 3

    Light - 1
    Neutral - 3
    Dark - 3

    So we have a compromise between neutral and dark pink, according to democracy.



    Democracy, once again, has proved itself a total failure. THIS IS WHY THEY DON'T LET PEOPLE DESIGN MURALS BY COMMITTEE.

    Let's just... move on to the head, okay?



    Oh goody, more voting! Okay, this time I'm making a chart for you guys to better specify which hairstyle you guys want:



    Vote for both facial hair and... scalpical hair. Simply line up your pick to the numbers and letters. For example, if I wanted to pick a bald head with no mustache, that'd be a1 1a. Got it?



    And here's your hair color palette. Getting tired of voting yet?

  19. #19
    Whimbrel's Avatar
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    Re: Let's Play Stupid Computer People!

    B8 2a
    RUBY RED
    ["Art"]Want to talk to adventurers? Come join us!Lore.

  20. #20
    Thief of Hearts Reecer6's Avatar
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    Re: Let's Play Stupid Computer People!

    >B2 + 2B, because 2B reminds me of crazy roads guy from SimCity, and also pompadour.
    >Also ruby red
    >But possibly vibrant yellow because that's what I said first
    Last edited by Reecer6; 08-02-2011 at 08:23 PM.
    hello friends, i still exist.
    Avatar by Nimz.

  21. #21
    Chwoka's Avatar
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    Re: Let's Play Stupid Computer People!

    Is there something wrong with my monitor? I don't see any ruby red.

  22. #22

  23. #23
    Am I Kawaii? (´・ω・`) KawaiiMelon's Avatar
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    Re: Let's Play Stupid Computer People!

    I think they mean ginger.

    I second bright yellow.
    aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaa

  24. #24
    Sure I like MLP, deal with it! karkat_rules's Avatar
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    Re: Let's Play Stupid Computer People!

    Fucking. Yellow. Is. Awesome.

    I vote yellow!

    BTW, A4 1A
    1337 posts. That used to be a funny internet joke, once.

  25. #25
    Schrödinger's Post Entropy Rogue's Avatar
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    Re: Let's Play Stupid Computer People!

    A3, 1A

    brown
    ...and other various definitive translations of the phrase.

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