Compliance Is Mandatory-An Exercise of Paranoia

[I-gor]

It's a new daycycle in Alpha Complex. It begins normally enough-wake, choke down Hot Fun, head to work in your service firm-but today, you are not one of the INFRARED, you are a Troubleshooter.

Right now, though, you feel like anything except one of The Computer's elite troopers dedicated to stamping out Communist Mutant Traitors-you can't remember your own name. Or your home sector, for that matter. What were they?

[Fuade]

Ween|R|DOG

Or

Richard|R|JNL

[Roselalonde]

> Sexy|O|SEX.

> Rose|UV|JKR.

[Doopliss]

Powe|R|RNG

[Fuade]

We only have red clearance Rose

[mamlukCollaborator]

>Weegee/Y/JNL

DO IT

[Reecer6]

>You|R|WIN
>Scatch|R|DOC
>Joke|R|BAT

[Doopliss]

>Vold|R|MRT
>Sup|R|HRO
>Hump|R|DNK

[SleepingOrange]

>Mort-R-MPA

Wait

>Sally-R-AVV
>Jerome-R-DNO
>24-17-33-Hike

[Roselalonde]

We only have red clearance Rose

Those were both jokes.

[Copygoo]

>Alfred|R|JYU
>Francis|R|ION

[I-gor]

> Sexy|O|SEX.

> Rose|UV|JKR.

You're only clearance RED. Though, to be sure, you're not really sure what the difference is. In the Junior Citizens Creche, an IntSec man tried explaining the concept of "color" and "clearances" to you, but walked off a few minutes later after you gave some (you thought) lame excuses. Though, maybe if you were ULTRAVIOLET, you wouldn't have to worry about it. Ah well.

>24-17-33-Hike

Oh, no no no. You had that name in the Creche, and tried to get rid of it ever since the "FunBall Incident." Faugh.

>Francis|R|ION

There we go. Francis-R-ION-1, that's a proper name.


You head along to your service firm. You work for an HPD&MC firm that does History Purification. We've always been at war with the Commies. The Illuminati never existed. It has always been yearcycle 214 of The Computer.


You enter, and proceed to take your place-you're pretty sure your former INFRARED comrades are pretty jealous, even if you're not sure what the difference is. You're about to head over to your desk and computer, but you spy your supervisor waving at you from across the room. You're sure he wants to see you.

[McBatman]

>Shake your RED clearance butt at all these INFERIOR coworkers.

[Roselalonde]

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Those. Were. Jokes.

> Get to class. And by class I mean your cramped box of a desk.

[Doopliss]

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Seriously, what were you thinking, Rose? Don't you know anything about Paranoia?
(It was a joke, but it was a built-in source of exposition)

[Roselalonde]

That has nothing to do with paranoia. Also I was thinking nyan kittens.

[Doopliss]

That has nothing to do with paranoia. Also I was thinking nyan kittens.

Most of the people (myself included) used joke names. They were just RED joke names.

[Roselalonde]

Wait, that still has nothing to do with paranoia.

[Doopliss]

I don't follow?
(Just to make sure we're on the same page, this setting is based off an old tabletop game called Paranoia)

[Roselalonde]

I don't follow?
(Just to make sure we're on the same page, this setting is based off an old tabletop game called Paranoia)

Oh.

[Doopliss]

:P

[I-gor]

>Shake your RED clearance butt at all these INFERIOR coworkers.

You stand, framed by the doorway, a faithful servant of the Computer, scourge of Commie Mutant Traitors everywhere! The fluorescent light gleams dramatically off of the RED reflec of your jumpsuit.

> Get to class. And by class I mean your cramped box of a desk.

Yeah, it looks like your colleagues are a bit...unimpressed. You'd better get back to work.

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(Your desks are not cramped. CPU statistics have proven that workers improve productivity by 27.1728 percent when placed in smaller desks and packed into rows. Any allegations of an increase in cases of rheumatoid arthritis among HPD&MC office workers are unsubstantiated rumors. Rumors are treason. Thank you for your cooperation.)

It looks like your supervisor's waving at you-wait-that's not an ordinary wave. You see, your supervisor isn't just your supervisor, he's also your contact in the Romantics secret society, and he's giving you the secret recognition signal. Maybe he wants to talk something over with you, given your new status as RED clearance Troubleshooter.

[McBatman]

>Return secret wave in a completely and totally non-obvious manner. (meaning painfully obvious)

[Roselalonde]

> Maybe he could give you WHITE clearance, if you know what I mean. Because I sure don't.

[I-gor]

>Return secret wave in a completely and totally non-obvious manner. (meaning painfully obvious)

You start to return the wave, before remembering that the Romantic countersign is 'The Force is with us, tee-em. You decide to do the next best thing and shout it out.

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Francis-R: THE FORCE IS WITH US. TEE-EM.

Your supervisor, Kem-O-RAK-2, responds with another hand gesture. You don't think it's a Romantic sign of any kind...



Oh.


You head into his office. He must have something important to tell you.

> Maybe he could give you WHITE clearance, if you know what I mean. Because I sure don't.

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Francis-R: So, have you reconsidered maybe joining me in that security clearance scheme I was talking about earlier? I think I could reach ULTRAVIOLET in a week if-
Kem-O: No, shut up, that's a scam the Phreaks've been trying to sucker INFRAREDS into. I wouldn't give them a licensed credit fer it.
Kem-O: Now some of the higher-ups in the organization've found a job for ya.
Kem-O: Yer a RED Troubleshooter right? The people love you guys. If we wanna get the people to accept their Old Reckoning culture, we gotta show them how good it is, right?
Kem-O: Show 'em how good Old Reckoning stuff was. Act like Obi-Wan from Star Wars on your mission and maybe people'll see the light.
Francis-R: Yes, sir.
Kem-O: And there's a good bonus innit for ya if you do good, hear?

He turns and reaches into his pocket. He takes out a picture.

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Kem-O: This guy's been hangin' around some of our safehouses. Take 'im out, we think he's gonna be on yer team.
Francis-R: All right.
Kem-O: And any Old Reckoning artifacts ya find, they're welcome here.

You've received a new Secret Society Mission!





You step out of Kem-O's office, ready to undertake any mission The Computer could throw at you. The people at the Troubleshooter HQ said they'd contact you in a few days to give you a mission.


In the meantime, you're a bit peckish, so you take out a bag of CruncheeTym Fun Algae Chips. You rummage around a bit, and...


What have we here?

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Mission Alert full text:
[RED Clearance strip]
To: francis@RED.ion.hpd; richard@RED.jnl.hpd; sally@RED.avv.armf; vold@RED.mrt.pow; hump@RED.dnk.tech; ann@RED.xia.rnd
From: HCN Troubleshooter HQ
Subject: Mission of importance!
Ref: DC9K-C3KD-0EC9-K3DN Codeword "Weltanschaaung"
Congratulations, Troubleshooter! Your friend The Computer has chosen you for an important and fun assignment! Please report to tranbot station E4:E5:NF3:NC6 immediately for transport to briefing room BC4. You will be briefed, then sent to PLC for outfitting. You may be required to volunteer for any and all services for service firms after outfitting, if they are available. Standard time to complete a mission of this variety is 1 (one) daycycle, 6 (six) hours and 12 (twelve) minutes. After completion of your mission, report to transbot station NF6:NG5:D5:NXF7 for conveyance to debriefing, where you will provide a quantitative assessment of your mission's success.

Trust no one! Keep your laser handy!