TROLLSLUM CAFE XLI: Remember to Read the Rules on Page 1!!

[Captain Whosit]

Rules are very important.

Welcome the Trollslum Café!

Our Guiding Principle: We are all fans of Homestuck in general, and of the trolls in particular. We like to make fantrolls, and if we like to make fantrolls, we love to roleplay them. And so, once upon a time, this thread was created as a place to bring new, undeveloped trolls so that players could flesh them out while interacting with other characters. The primary purpose of the Café is to provide a vague social setting in which characters can meet, mingle, and talk. It is a good way to get introduced to other characters that you can then troll on trollian/pesterchum, or get involved with in a more specific RP. It can also be a decent place to hang out.

Below are some rules that I would like you to follow when you are posting in the Café. Please read them carefully, whether you are new or old to the Café!

1: Characters and Setting

The Café is located somewhere on Alternia. Where exactly? Who knows, and it doesn’t really matter. Keep in mind that this place is located on Alternia (the troll homeworld which is populated by the troll young) when you are developing a character for the Café. Aliens, freaks, and mutants will not last long on Alternia! (If I did not make this clear: No humans, freaks, abominations, or crazy mutants!) Also note that adults are not allowed in the Cafe. For the purposes of this fandom, a troll is an "adult" when they are 10 sweeps or older. Remember that there was an Imperial decree that banished all adults from the homeworld. No exceptions.

The Cafe is also set outside any sort of Sgrub or S***b continuity. No troll should know about the game, Skaia, the moons, meteors, or humans. Save that for an actual session roleplay.

Notice to newer players!: I highly encourage you to post a profile in the trollslum thread or in the new critique thread before starting your roleplaying experience in the Cafe. Getting some feedback on your character before you start playing them can help you make an even better character and avoid some common pitfalls newer players make!

2: Joining the Café

How do you join? Just post! There are no pre-requisites and no screening (for better or for worse). Just jump in, find someone who isn’t already in a scene, and start a conversation.

3: Posting in the Café

A few guidelines for how to post here:

*It is generally helpful if you clearly indicate which character you are speaking to if you are initiating a conversation.

*You can quote a previous post to enhance the clarity of your response, but please spoiler images, and do not post quote pyramids. You can be infracted for this.

*Indicate OOC conversation by double paranthesis (()), or double brackets [[]] if you prefer, or by some other method that clearly indicates you are speaking OOC.

*Do not post only OOC chatter. Go to the Trollslum GenChat for that.

4: Joining a Conversation

Before you have your character wander up to someone and start chatting, check to see if the other character is already talking, and to whom. Sometimes two characters are having a light chat and you may be able to get away with approaching them. Other times, they may be having a serious discussion and would not appreciate the intrusion. Like real-life, think carefully before you walk up to someone and interrupt them, and if they ignore you or tell you to go away, respect that!

5: Fights
Fights are going to need a list of rules all its own. This may very well be one of the most important sections, so please read it carefully!

1) Avoid fights whenever possible! If there are any other viable options for your character besides “pull out a weapon,” do that instead! Yes, I’m sure you want to show off how “badass” your character is, but ultimately getting in a fight is just going to make you look silly and probably like kind of a jerk. Yes, you may be thinking that “trolls are violent pricks,” but remember that the primary purpose of the Café is to develop your character, and fights are not the best way to do that. This doesn't mean that you can't play a mean, provocative character, just know your limits!

2) If you must engage in a fight, please contact the other player(s) by PM or your preferred chat client to try and work things out before you both start throwing posts at each other. If you have an end result you are working towards, it is less likely that your fight will completely devolve into a “show them up” contest.

3) Follow proper etiquette! What do I mean? If you do end up in a fight, the way you describe your character acting is what may separate you from a God Moder and someone with class. Here are some dos and don’ts:

”I cut your character’s arm off with my sword.” Very bad! If you do something like this, you are inflicting an injury on another character without giving them a chance to respond or avoid. Basically, you’re an asshole.

“I shoot your character in the face.” Bad. It is worded in such a way that it suggests the blow already landed.

“I aim at your character’s face and fire.” Probably the best you can do. It explains your action and gives the other player an opportunity to dodge the attack, or not, as they wish.

4) Don’t get involved in someone else’s fight! Unless your troll is good friends with one of the participants, it doesn’t make sense for them to get involved in someone else’s battle. On the whole, trolls are not very charitable. Group fights are just a mess and a bad idea.

5) Don’t fight at all if you can help it! Yes, this rule warrants repeating. It is entirely possible to play a mean, jackass character without provoking a fight every time you talk to someone. BE THE BIGGER MAN (OR WOMAN)! If it looks like you’re going to start a fight, back off! Contrary to what you might think, you’ll earn more respect from your peers than if you start trying to beat the other character up.

6: Romance

Trolls have quadrants. Romance is gonna happen. Now, it’s not my place to tell you how to live your love (or hate) lives. However, I ask that you all keep things clean. If your characters are going to go beyond snuggling and smooching, take it to PMs, an IRC, or a private chat. I’m trying to run a respectable establishment, here.

Addendum:
Due to events both past and present, I am revising the rules on what should and should not be posted in the Cafe thread regarding romantic matters. Please remember that this Cafe is a public space. Think about what a person might or might not do in public: Hand holding, a light kiss, maybe a brief makeout if the couple is feeling rowdy. Trolls would not go the the Cafe solely for the purpose of making out with their significant other(s). Would you go to a restaurant or other public venue just to start eating face with someone else? If the answer is "yes," you kind of have a problem.

Also note that, according to this log, trolls are a bit shy about their flushed feelings. Yes, it's Nepeta's perspective, but also note that Karkat has been shy about his relationship with Terezi, as well. This is the canon we have to refer to.

So, practically speaking, what does this mean? I'll tell you.

*If you bring a character in solely to grab a booth and make-out, I will tell you to leave. You can do that over Private Messages, Pesterchum, Typewith.me, or anything else.

*If any spontaneous make-outs that do crop up go on for more than a few posts, I will tell you to stop.

*Any kind of fondling, groping, lewd, sexual, or otherwise questionable behavior is expressly forbidden. We don't want to see it. Take it elsewhere. This also includes excessively detailed descriptions of a make-out.

Don't get me wrong. I fully understand that romance is a fun part of RP in general, and trollplay in particular. Yet it is also important to consider the context of where this is happening, and the Cafe thread is also supposed to be for character development. "But Whosit! This romantic relationship is development for my character!" you might say. Well, yes. How a relationship grows and develops is very important to development. Sloppy make-outs, however, do not really develop anything. They are just sloppy.

7: Problems

Gotta face facts: Problems are gonna crop up. Maybe it’s another player, maybe a fight broke out and someone is god moding, maybe someone decided that it would be awesome to bring in the rainbow-drinker rainbowblood who’s gonna be the next empress and who is secretly the lover of all the canon trolls. All of them. If you have a problem with someone, contact them. Privately and politely. It is not good to make a scene in public. If you are particularly adverse to conflict, you can contact me and I’ll see what I can do.

Likewise, if I see something I think is a problem, I will PM you and try to straighten things out to everyone’s benefit. Note that I will ask you to withdraw or revise a character if I think they will remain problematic as they are. I want everyone to have fun, but I also believe that the fun of the many outweighs the fun of the few.

8: Rules Change

I reserve the right to change or revise these rules at any time with or without notification. So remember to check back occasionally to refresh yourself!

9: Fun

Have fun!

Or else!

Also, be polite, kids!

FAQ
(Okay, I don't really get many questions, but this seemed like the best label for this section.)

Q: What if I want to roleplay something that isn't allowed in the Cafe?

A: There are several other mediums for roleplaying: Instant messengers, including the fan-made Pesterchum client; typewith.me or sync.in collaborative documents; private messages. In theory, after characters meet in the Cafe, they can continue roleplaying elsewhere.

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The Precursor

[aceFresca]

FIRST POST AS;D;AS;D;AS;DAS;

continuing my conversation with Var-whatshisface



that's nice. i think i had a matesprit once. it probably wasn't that great. probably some three armed freak or something.

You stifle a very very faint laugh at that. Three armed freak. Heh.

so, what about your other quadrants? anything else?

[PrussianMoose]

((**REPOSTED FOR YOUR PLEASURE**))



This broad is REALLY starting to get on his nerves. He strums his fingers on the table.

ohhohohohoho A good leader ith more important san se gruntth on se ground. Ill have you know sat my worse lieth in se sinkpan sat blood pupth srough.
...
and thtop making fun of se way i thpeak damnit.

[Wycca]

Cardie's face starts to turn orange again.

N-now I know. I u-understand if y-you don't a-actually feel that way.

She continues looking at her puppet. Hoping that Dev couldn't hear the way her heart was beating about a hundred beats a second.

[TobiasMoon]

...as long as your happy, i'm happy

talk about sappy

[Katrika]

Chrisa brightens up.

Oh, tho you have actual com>at ex>erienthe sen? You haven't jutht hid >ehin< your luthuth like a little wiggler? FATHINATING!

[Korporal Kael]

8-X Makeouts eh? No im afraid you didnt understand my meaning at all. Im done talking to you. Seeya.
You leave the gold blood alone to her "new friend". You notice a lot of people, all alone. You consider talking to one of them.

[Overlard]

The sap in the air is starting to make you gag.

Sap is NOT your deal.

Portec tries to deal with it by just leaning on the bar, looking totally like the ace pilot he hopes to be.

[Suds McFuddle]

Vileor doubts that Chrisa is going to talk to him again, so he decides to socialize with someone else instead. In this case said someone else happens to be the rat-like indigoblood.

Hello, m@'@m, how @re you this fine night?

-----



Zandig simply responds with a punch square in the face.

that's for fuckinng poisonninng annd drugginng Me.

[Fexxos Vyront]

Of course, it was just sappy enough for your tastes. You kiss Eskies's cheek.

[Korporal Kael]

You notice a troll with a grimace on his face and a pair of aviators on his face. Ah well. Its a start, you guess.
8-X Heh. Something the matter?

[TobiasMoon]

you blush, and then kiss him back on the other cheek

[batsy]

==>You come back into consciousness from your slumber on the booth chair

Scooting towards the edge of the chair, you curl your tiny fingers of the chair and rapidly look around the room.
Out of force of habit, you lay your chin down and chew on your bottom lip.

<:3~Ehehehe
<:3~Oh look at all the pretty bloods heeeeere~
You pause for a moment, looking at the sad lack of green.

<:3~Not very many green bloods though ):3~
You then go back to doodling the trolls in the cafe.

[Tekkenfreak4]

I also have a Moirail. She is a greenblood named Pavana and I pre77y much keep her from ge77in' morbid and creepy... No blackroms though... I'm probably gonna ge7 culled.....

You sigh...

[PrussianMoose]

She keeps making fun of your lisp! What a horrendously unlikable troll.
Obviously Chrisa should learn her place.

i have experience like you wouldnt imagine
i participate in thport of all thorth and am one of se betht thratagithtth sith thide of alternia
nobody can beat me at chethth
...
and for se love of god will you thtop poking fun at se way i thpeak!!

Two exclamation points?! HE'S IRKED NOW!

[Overlard]

*ROGER* Yeah. -CRACKLE- Too much redrom in this place. -CRACKLE- And it's all starting to give me a headache. *OVER*

A fresh spark of redrom from somewhere in the room nearly makes him spit out his coffee.

[Katrika]

Chrisa breaks out laughing again.

CHESS? Ahahahaha...yes, CHESS is >erfect for real strategy. It's not like you could >e a flar> clou<er or anything, that'< har<ly com>are!

[Fexxos Vyront]

You decide not to make too much of a big show out of this.
Hehe... §o. You never really told me about your lu§u§ or your hive. What'§ your hive liƒe like?

[aceFresca]

You cringe. You remember your last Quadrant Day. It's one of the painful things you remember. You seem to only remember the painful things to be honest.

oh, hosh posh. you'll survive. i did. i've got nothing.

[Steev]

Czapra has turned her face just in time to get punched in it. She flies off her box, spins around and crashes into the far end of the bar. Her goggles were knocked off by the force of the blow.

BAH!!! Whaht the FUCK, bro???? I ain't never MET you!!!!


And then something else hits her. That naturebitch must have done this behind her back.

Ah shit.

Czapra shotguns the beverage she still had in her hand and, very discreetly, retrieves her brass knuckles from her sylladex. Gotta be prepared in case this escalates.

[Overnightfuture]

Well... uh, I.... do

Staring at the puppet still

[Araiss]

Wow....he thought Zandig liked to antagonize trolls before messing with them. That troll...looks familiar though now that you think about it. Wasn't that the one with Malae that one time?

[Sandvich King]

Catlin gets up and leaves. She could only be here for a short while anyway.

[rockingCavalier]

((whoops didn't see the new thread))

Oh crap, fight. Virrex initially plans on intervening as per the law, but oh wait, subjuggulator. Them being above the law really did take the fun out of his job sometimes.

[Korporal Kael]

8-X Yup.I'm afraid i've been listening in to this cheese for a while now...im considering setting something of theirs on fire...
You smirk.
8-X of course, there's not JUST redrom here, theres a blackrom stewing in the corner over there. and im not sure what everybody else is doing. It seems like theyre either spaced out and waiting, drinking faygo, or staring at everybody else.