DustyDunes: Welcome to Hard Times

[Yamtaggler]

>Hey, is that the sheriff? Maybe he can help with STOP CRIMINALS FROM CRIMES.

[Iarei]

... What part of 'take only the absolute necessities' leads to having upwards of 5 spare throwing knives?

[Eversor]

... What part of 'take only the absolute necessities' leads to having upwards of 5 spare throwing knives?

"Ey! Lis'en 'ere inner thoughts!"



"If you think avin' fuckin' 25 different style knives on you isnt necessary to have..."



" Then I will go 'head 'n stab the parts of my noggin that thinks differently"



{Don't worry he wont, hes a bad aim.}

==>

[Saint Game]

So wait, if we push him about this, he'll stab himself in the head?
KNIVES ARE BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD.

[Bohandas]

>Criminals: Report stolen dynamite to sheriff

+1 reader

[Eversor]

This is an oldtimey western saloon, there's gotta be a gun under the bar

Hearing the hooligans not far behind, you made a mad dash for the counter and ducked under it to catch your breath.

You remember a lot of pubs back home had "customer appreciation sticks" or shotguns hidden under their counters so you decide to take a look around.



...Only to see 2 hooks with a well worn backing that is holding nothing at this moment. You suppose the owner takes the weapon to bed with him or something.

Failing a gun under the bar, grab that bottle of whiskey, a napkin, and make a Molotov cocktail.

While there certainly is the makings for such a device. You can't imagine it going well for you if you made it.

If it DID work and you managed to stop them for hunting you. You imagine the best situation would end up like this.



While your worst situation would end up like this...



Followed promptly by you exploding from the dynamite in your bag.

Alternatively, brandish your fabulous sword (you have a sword, don't you?)

You do remember that sword. You unsheathe it to check if the thing is even sharp.



Lucky for you, it seems rather quite sharp indeed. Although having this long sword on you is comforting, you are starting to think maybe it is best to give up, it is not looking promising for you. But as you begun to mull over that thought you hear the swinging doors sway open followed by that cockney voice from earlier...



" *huff huff* Right...Rick, go'un check o'er there, I saw that tea-leaf run in here so he couldn't 'ave gone t'far. Mel, stay outside, not like y'ud fit in 'ere anyways. Feel free t'shoot em if he runs out there, time is ticking before the sheriff puts two n two together.

"Now listen sir! If ya can 'ear me. You got me a lil grumpy now, so the deal is changing a bit, since you can't seem t'ear to well, you need a good lesson, so when we find you, Im'a cut off a ear of yours so the other learns to be a bit better."

"But I am a polite gentlemen, I will let you choose yea ear. Sounds fair?"

"Now come on out! I already owe George a ransom in Bar Tabs, he'd make me pay out the nose if I get t'much blood n'ear. Not that I'd soon be paying 'nyways, but you understand."

==>

[Bohandas]

>Throw a whiskey bottle at them.

and/or

>Drink half a bottle of whiskey due to stress.

and/or

>Panic

and/or

>Charge with the sword

and/or

>Pretend to be someone else

and/or

>Wait for an opportunity to sneak out of the bar

and/or

>Check inventory

[Mibbs]

Dexter:

[hypersheep]

>You're in a bar. Get extremely drunk and blame the damage on somebody else.

[Bohandas]

>Turn the tables by threatening yourself like in "Blazing Saddles"

>Tall Bandit: Hit head on door frame

>Dexter Crimson: Impersonate bartender

>Dexter: Take out Good Book. Give self last rites.

>Dexter: Take out Good Book. Retrieve gun hidden in hollowed out compartment.

[Yamtaggler]

>I think we need some spunky,somewhat-drunky lass to wobble in and save the day.

[Bohandas]

>I think we need some spunky,somewhat-drunky lass to wobble in and save the day.

Good idea!

[Eversor]

>I think we need some spunky,somewhat-drunky lass to wobble in and save the day.

Just remember... you asked for this.

[Iarei]

Random person : Get thrown INTO the saloon through a window.

[Eversor]

>Throw a whiskey bottle at them.

and/or

>Drink half a bottle of whiskey due to stress.

and/or

>Panic

and/or

>Pretend to be someone else

Dexter:

Time is a wasting, your battle plan needs to be resolved.



Problem is...you keep seeing the end result glaring up to you quite obviously.

You think about dashing to the stairs to find an escape route and you peek your head above the counter to prepare for you last ditch effort.

When suddenly...

Random person : Get thrown INTO the saloon through a window.

W..who the hell? The red bandit catches you in his eye as he too is distracted by the strangely timed defenestration. You then begin to hear the terrified yell of what you think was that HUGE bandit that was outside. What kind of horrible monster is out there that could scare him?!

...

...

...


(Cue to 30 Minutes ago)

>I think we need some spunky,somewhat-drunky lass to wobble in and save the day.

You are now a groggy but awake Violet Swayne



You couldn't get any good sleep since your eventful day yesterday. You hope the sheriff appreciated the job you did yesterday, you never did to get to see him, and you so very much wanted to chew him out for his poor job of taking care of this dying town.

Fitzsimmons Fuzzington couldn't even calm your nerves. You decide to get up and maybe take a walk to cool down.

==>

[Mibbs]

don't bother cleaning up you'll probably just end up in another fight

[Eversor]

Side note! Almost to the big 200th image. Huzzah!

[WanderingWitch]

Side note! Almost to the big 200th image. Huzzah!

Cool! Congrats!

Violet: What is that neat thing in the corner? It looks useful!

[Bohandas]

>Hug Fitzsimmons Fuzzington

>Rant about sheriff

>Get dressed

>Breakfast

>Search for booze bottle to go with breakfast. Find them all empty. Proceed to bar.

[hero122]

Just read this, and I think this is great so far.
>Violet: ADVENTURE HANGOVER!

[Eversor]

Pleasure to have you aboard sir! The more the absolute merrier!

[Doomkiwi]

Why do you have a nasty ass hoe in your room? And what's with the tillage device in the corner?

[Iarei]

Sweet, sweet refenestration.

That is one titanic wardrobe. You could fit half of Narnia in there without a portal.

[Eversor]

>Hug Fitzsimmons Fuzzington

You decide to snuggle with Fuzzington, he certainly tried his best to make you feel better, he deserves a hug. He is the only guy around here you can really trust to do his best.

>Violet: ADVENTURE HANGOVER!

No, no, a thousand times NO! You will try your best to keep things quiet for an hour or two.

Hangovers are far to common with you, and the Doc says you have already a headache condition...You are almost perpetually in one migraine or another, but the little ones don't bother you that much anymore, a slight pain you fight through on a daily basis. Alcohol doesn't help but it makes this town less depressing when your intoxicated.



Pops really does his best to keep you off the swill, but you sneak it out of the saloons...those two bars are so kind to you.

That is one titanic wardrobe. You could fit half of Narnia in there without a portal.

You politely lay Fitzsimmons Fuzzington down on the other side of the bed and you hop out of bed, you are going to get ready for another tedious and dull day ahead of you.

Although that new-comer yesterday and also that robber did spice things up, maybe you could check up about what happened with those situations.

Those rail-road hooligans that stuck around have been slowly getting more and more rambunctious, its a shame to see them go down the path of criminals, but at least they are entertainment.



You wobble over to that preposterously large wardrobe. Your Pops made it of a single tree, he was so proud of the craftsmanship and Olive helped out with the little details, but you see it as a bit of an eyesore. It takes up the whole wall and you can't even reach the top of the darn thing. You end up stuffing most of the important stuff in the drawer at the bottom.

Sheesh...

Why do you have a nasty ass hoe in your room? And what's with the tillage device in the corner?

Violet: What is that neat thing in the corner? It looks useful!

What, this hoe?

It was left downstairs by one of the ranch-hands over at Maxwell's Farm a while back. You have used it as quite the weapon against bold coyotes attacking the chickens out back as well as would-be suitors.

Your father said that a hoe is not meant for a lady, it is a dirty and improper thing. It makes you stand out in crowd to be affiliated with a hoe, but personally you love this hoe, it is so very dependable.

+1 Trusty Hoe Acquired (*Big Size Item Limit Maxed)

>Get dressed

>Rant about sheriff

You pull open the massive drawer and get changed, your favorite green dress was stained by the wine you spilled on it yesterday. Olive said he could get the stains out but till then, you will have to put on something else.

Today, you will not have wine, you tell yourself...knowing full well that this is not very much under your control.



You take your time and in about 10 minutes you are finally are ready to go out for a walk, you open the window to get some fresh air into the room though. As you peer outside, you stare across the road to see that sheriff's office.

*sigh* That sheriff position, you wish you could take that jerk's place. You know you could do a better job then him, if people just took you a bit more seriously. You know he does a good job, and maybe you could start off as a deputy or something to prove yourself, but he doesn't think it is a "woman's" job so he would never let you anywhere near a badge.



Well...anyways, out we go?

==>

[Mibbs]

go out through window