Legend of the Hunter: Chapter 4 - [S] Fight. Talk. Don't die.

[Dragon Fogel]

>"It'll let you punch things harder than you've ever punched things before."

[Godbot]

> Gwydian: At the next opportunity, go back for that guard's vest.

[Anthano Zasalla]

>"It'll let you punch things harder than you've ever punched things before."

[Chaos Waltz]

"Launch you out of a cannon. Why, what did you think I said? I mean, really, getting launched out of a cannon's not even halfway to the top of the list. of all the dangerous things you've done."

[ChronoSamurai]

>"It'll let you punch things harder than you've ever punched things before."

And there will be girls watching.

[Torquemadras Trump]

Legend of the Hunter 55

"Yeah, I know it almost ended messily in Shut-the-hell-up-so-you-don't-ruin-our-bluff-istan, but you survived that time, didn't you? Come on, this is what your line of work entails. You're embarrassing us in front of the General."

You can't believe this. Of all the times Gwydian could have perfect timing, it's THIS ONE. You hastily tell him through CLEVERLY HIDDEN MESSAGES that he should shut the hell up, because there is KINDA A LOT HANGING ON THIS.

also let him know that if he doesn't agree that the 9 FOOT TALL ENGINE OF DESTRUCTION behind you will roast the both of you alive.

Also, you noticed the flamethrowers. It would be wise of Gwydian to NOTICE THEM AS WELL. Undoubtedly, it is time for DRASTIC MEASURES.

>"It'll let you punch things harder than you've ever punched things before."

And there will be girls watching.

You don't quite know how you do it, but with a mean look and a beyond cool expression, you slide next to Gwydian and tell him to CHILL THE FUCK OUT. You'll let him have TONS OF PUNCHALICIOUS FUN and all the girls. AFTER YOU PULL THIS OFF. Understand?

Although you do not realize it, this is the puzzling technique of the ICE-COLD STARE!



What the hell
Why am I full of snow
Bro what the fuck I'm here to rage all over the place and you slap me some ice in the face
Is this some kind of fuckin metaphor for chilling out

> Seb: Tell your brother not to worry, you meant the Howitzers will fire you. Of course you won't be doing the actual firing, you don't know how to operate a cannon, that would just be silly. That was what you were so worried about, right? Of course it was...

You loudly claim in front of the General that it was a MERE MISUNDERSTANDING as for who fires the cannon that got your HONORABLE BROTHER SALVADORE all riled up. He's very professional, you see. You can tell by that INSUFFERABLE AIR OF PRESUMPTUOUSNESS that only professionals have.

I DO NOT SEE THAT KIND OF PROFESSIONALISM WORKING FOR ME
BUT HE SEEMS BATTLE-PROVEN, AT LEAST!
IF YOUR STORY OF PROUD WARRIOR TRADITION IS GENUINE,
YOU SHOULD HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH THE RITUAL OF TRUE HONOR!

The what now?



THE BATTLE OF TRUE MEN!
SHOW ME YOUR SKILLS, EXORCISTS, SO THAT I KNOW YOU ARE CAPABLE OF FACING THE DEMON!

Suddenly and without warning, you enter the BATTLE SCREEN OF TRUE MEN! You still don't quite know what the heck is going on, and so do several other people... such as Ava.

...why are you suddenly all standing in a row?
Uhm, why am I standing with you in a row?

The BATTLE SCREEN OF TRUE MEN is both surprising and capricious. Gwydian at least has already readied himself for battle, though his choice of weaponry is, once again, PLAIN WEIRD.

Just so you know
I'm still angry at the cannon thing
We'll sort this out once we sort THIS guy out!

DARE I SAY, EXORCISTS
COME AT ME BROS

>Tristan: Be the guard on the stairs, spy on them while they talk to the general.

Tristan, newly-clad in his amazing hero outfit, decides to wait this one out. Maybe because he's very nervous. Maybe because the strange decorations of the BATTLE SCREEN OF TRUE MEN are slightly intimidating. Who knows.

==>

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(PS: Damn Gwyddy has good hearing.)

Uuuuuh yes that's how I knew
Not that the bolded part of the narration alerted me, nothing like that
I have just amazing hearing
Can hear the world-weary sighs of amoebas on a squirrel's fucking eyebrow WHILE THAT SQUIRREL IS BEING EATEN BY RABID DOGS
Yeah let's go with that

[Mibbs]

toss ninja general-ward in an attempt to placate him with red meat

[ChronoSamurai]

>Gwyddy: Corpse Flail the body of one of the assassins as a DISTACTION
>Seb: Check out new Brawlbility
>Ava: Become playable and deal massive damage to everyone with MAID OF STEEL lv 3: MASS EMASCULATION

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toss ninja general-ward in an attempt to placate him with red meat

Woah, two idiots: one thought great minds think alike!

[siguard]

Ava> attempt to retreat, fail because TRUE MEN DON'T RUN.
Seb> Unleash maximum slicelocity on the general.
Gydylin> Use Exothermic Fist with some of your Pilfered Fireworks to Take the Chill Off yourself and unleash the Literal Explosive Palm on the General

[Whimbrel]

Ava> This really isn't your battle at all; you have no idea why you're in this. Still, Sebastion is pretty cool, right? You should cheer him on. Keep morale up.
Gwydian>Be hampered by your FROZEN condition
Sebastian>Brawlability go go go!

[ZenFeline]

BRAWLBILITY HIS ASS.

[PavlovianCat]

> Tristan: settle for a BATTLE OF NOTABLY LESS TRUE MEN with the half dead ninja.

[Godbot]

> Take a look at your Magicks

[Professor zobot]

>Gwydian: Vent some of your frustration at your brother. Don't got a chair to use as a weapon? No problem! Use Sebastian as a substitute.

>Sebastian: Analyze the man(?) and his armor to see if you can identify any weak-OHCRAPGWYDIANISSWINGINGYOULIKEACLUB!

Or alternately:

>Ava: ...show us your true power!

[Not The Author]

Check your new skills.

Now, I'm fairly sure a head-on approach will end poorly, and not just because I'm a vet of the Bob wars. This is going to be a battle of attrition: Focus on not taking damage and eliminating the opponent's advantages, including the spear (gives his melee attacks range and improves his ability to counterattack at close-quarters), heavy armor (yeah no way you're gonna do any significant damage while that's on), and flamethrowers (do I really have to explain this one). Fortunately, there's a very, very easy way to strip him of all these advantages at once:

Gwyd:

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Set yoself down on that couch and counter his SURPRISE BATTLE OF TRUE MEN with some COUNTERARGUMENT COMBAT. Let's see if we can't talk this guy down.

First off, it's kind of a terrible idea to exhaust yourselves on such an important night. Guard Cap has guarding duties to attend to, and yeah, he's good at it, but doesn't this sort of FRIVOLOUS DISTRACTION set up a decent window of time for some HIGHLY TRAINED PROFESSIONAL ASSASSIN™ to beat his way through the lesser-trained guards and off the King? Or, uh, the Queen-to-be, too, you guess. ALSO there's that DEMON which could arrive AT ANY TIME and maybe you should be on call for that so that you don't need to take time out and get healed up first. ALSO ALSO you can PRETTY MUCH GUARANTEE that your BROTHER is not a TRUE MAN, and Ava is a woman, so what the hell are they in this fight for. (A TRUE MAN knows when to ask for help, but I mean. Y'know. Principle of the thing.)

[Oven]

>Change battle mode to Dynamic.
>Engage in non-turned based combat.

[distainfulCatalyst]

>Set your dragon toothbrush on fire and throw it at him. You kind of blanked out that lecture on why not to do it, but since it's made of dragon, it might do something interesting.

[Chaos Waltz]

Twiddlefeet> throw a flaming necromantic tornado at the General.

[Demothesis]

first time suggesting, but been reading for a while, great comic. ^.^

Ava: Once you figure out what's going on, show the general why dragon maidens aren't sacrificed anymore. Specifically show him via a high level spell to the face.

also: have that be the only high level spell you know, the rest aren't anything impressive.

Seb: Well he wants to see why you're right for the demon.... banishing punch his armor!

General: secretly be a mush smaller person inside the armor, alternately be a person controlling the armor from elsewhere. in either case, be a recruitable character!

Gwyd:... You know what, do your usual thing, hit him. a lot. with both hands maybe. Not much refinement needed here.

[Torquemadras Trump]

Legend of the Hunter - 56

>Gwyddy: Corpse Flail the body of one of the assassins as a DISTACTION
>Seb: Check out new Brawlbility

Man I don't say no to a good brawl
But we gotta TALK after this, bro
And while I do use my fists for talking most of the time
I mean mouth talking here
Like, shit's important



The BATTLE OF HONOR has begun! The General wants to be impressed, and you certainly plan on delivering on that front. Although a little tasteless, your brother immediately adds a new improvised weapon to his arsenal.

You, on the other hand, fall back to a BRAWLBILITY you learned not too long ago, but which you haven't used yet! It's bound to be impressive, with a name like that. WITNESS THE THUNDER DEVIL, GENERAL!

Ava> attempt to retreat, fail because TRUE MEN DON'T RUN.

Oh dear gods let me out of here!
I'm a non-combatant! I'm a non-combatant! Anybody LISTENING?!

Unfortunately, dear Ava seems to be caught right in the middle of the battle. But there's no running from a BATTLE OF TRUE MEN, even if the participants technically don't meet the requirements. You're pretty confident she'll be able to handle herself. As a DRAGON MAIDEN, she surely has some awesome DRAGON-RELATED MAGICKS or something, right?

Ah, here goes the THUNDER DEVIL!

Sebastian>Brawlability go go go!

WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT.

The brawlbility gained by a magic thunder sword trying to stab you involves... BEING STABBED BY A MAGIC THUNDER SWORD. You feel deep, confusing shame for missing entirely with your brawlbility. Look at that. You're not even stabbed a little!

Though you did just SUMMON THE LIVING THUNDER SWORD ALASTOR. That's gotta count for something!

>Ava: ...show us your true power!

The truth is, Ava does not have any noteworthy powers besides THE POWER OF WISHFUL THINKING. The worst battle she had to fight up till now was poking people in the ribs when they were snoring during Father Lamard's sermons. SHE SEEMS TO FEEL A LITTLE MISPLACED.

Ava> This really isn't your battle at all; you have no idea why you're in this. Still, Sebastion is pretty cool, right? You should cheer him on. Keep morale up.

Oh dear gods... this is a battle of true men, isn't it. As in, men came up with this silly thing.
So I'm being demoted to morale support.
This is SO embarrassing.

Tough luck, sister
I wouldn't put up with that, I can tell you as much
Aaaaaanyway

Gwyd:... You know what, do your usual thing, hit him. a lot. with both hands maybe. Not much refinement needed here.

Let's make those hands... EXOTHERMAL!



Gwydian then takes the chance to unleash an EXOTHERMIC FIST! He, too, doesn't really know how it works yet. But if lack of foreknowledge would ever stop him, he wouldn't CARRY A DEAD NINJA AS A FLAIL.

Gydylin> Use Exothermic Fist with some of your Pilfered Fireworks to Take the Chill Off yourself and unleash the Literal Explosive Palm on the General

Though the process of setting up an EXOTHERMAL FIST is a little more complicated than he thinks.

Oh what the hell
I gotta alchemize shit or what
Is... is my own fist in the inventory? Damn this is confusing
At least there aren't any quick time events around

==>

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Okay, heads up - tomorrow there won't be an update! Hope you don't confuse poor Gwydian too much until then... or allow poor Ava to be pushed around by a sexist battle screen!

first time suggesting, but been reading for a while, great comic. ^.^

Thanks! ^.^ I wonder how many people not on the forum read this, actually...

[Professor zobot]

Ava: Grow increasingly frusterated with the ensuing brawl and how no one seems to be listening to you except "Salvadore". Develop a bad mood that just keeps getting badder...

[PavlovianCat]

> Ava: Wait! Your daily routine does involve putting up with men in flamboyant dragon costumes right? Why don't you try that.

[ZenFeline]

I see BOOZE and FIRECRACKERS. MAKE IT HAPPEN GWYDIAN.

[Godbot]

> Select Mr. Twiddlefeet for the second slot.

[Anthano Zasalla]

What's that

behind you

QUICK-TIME EVENT PRESS A