Legend of the Hunter: Chapter 4 - [S] Fight. Talk. Don't die.

[Torquemadras Trump]

Legend of the Hunter - 58

Now, the GENERAL'S TURN has come. Utilizing his enormous reach and power, he unleashes one of his most fearsome attacks...



RANDOMLY FLAILING AROUND.

>Gwydian: Dude, the General's weird arm-scarf-thingy is trying to eat you! Watch out!

Oh fuck, how are we supposed to reach him?
He's got that backscratcher twirling like he's in charge of fuckin hurricane factory
And his arm plate scarf gold thingy just tried to EAT me!
I take that kind of thing personal
Any ideas, smartass?

You decide to overlook that last comment. Right now, there are MORE PRESSING ISSUES. Surely, the General won't be impressed by ineffectually shying away from his assault!

> Sebastian: View abilities. What else can you even do, anyway?

You yourself are proficient in several techniques: the BANISHING PUNCH, the SLICELOCITY, your newly acquired ICE-COLD STARE, THUNDER DEVIL and LEVIATHAN'S LOGISTICS as well as your alchemy, FIRE FOOTLE. That last one would require something flammable, though.

Wasn't that dragon toothbrush never, ever supposed to be set on fire...? You wonder what was up with that.



Gwydian seizes the opportunity and charges forward, not to pass by the whirling guisarme, but rather to CREATE A DIVERSION! Will its DISTRACTITUDE be sufficient?!

Gwydian.

>TAKE THIS!
MY LOVE, MY ANGER, AND ALL OF MY SORROW!
BURNING FINGER!

Yes.
Yes, it will.

THIS IS FOR MY BEER YOU FUCKASS
Which was totally my fault, actually
But who cares, be blinded by the flames of ATOMIZED BEER!

AAAARGH MY EYES MY POOR SENSITIVE EYES!
THWARTED BY THEORETICAL PHYSICS YET AGAIN!

Seb> Toss the Thunder Sword vertically in the air and draw your other sword, slide under his legs and use Thunder Devil to get the sword to Cut through the General to Stab You

This is your chance! It's a risky maneuver, but this way, you'll get away from the General's weapon AND pull off a crazy attack! You throw Alastor in the air and slide right past the General, attracting the sword's MURDEROUS INTENT TOWARDS ITS WIELDER! It zooms right into the General's face, causing THE WARM FUZZY GLOW KNOWN AS DAMAGE. Now, you can follow up with a double-team flanking attack with your brother!

Ava> counter his argument with that The Cruddy Ritual won't let her leave. maybe you can get everyone to call a timeout long enough for you to get away from the blast radius.

Hey, seriously, if you want to cave each other's heads in,
which certainly doesn't seem honorable to ME,
than might it be too much of a bother to take a break?
Because I definitely don't plan on cheering by the sidelines.
Uuuuh, you're great, Mr. Slick, buuuuut -
This is JUST STUPID!

THERE IS NO TAKING BREAKS IN A BATTLE OF TRUE MEN!
YOU SHOULD WITNESS, YOUNG DRAGON MAIDEN, AND LEARN FROM THE AWE-INSPIRING EVENT THAT IS ABOUT TO TAKE PLACE!
Once I can see again, aaargh.
THIS IS NOT FINISHED, HONORABLE EXORCISTS...



FAR FROM IT!

> Seb: Try to flank him.

AAAAAAH HE'S BREATHING FIRE
FUUUUUCK WHO'D HAVE THOUGHT A DRAGON-THEMED GUY BREATHES FIRE
OH GOOOOOOD WE CAN'T FLANK HIM LIKE THAT
AAAAARGH SERIOUSLY WE SHOULD'VE SEEN THAT COMING
DAMMIIIIIIT WE HAVE TO GET CLOSE SOMEHOW
GRRRRRR WE ARE SO STUPID TO BE SURPRISED LIKE THAT
NOT HELPING GWYDIAN
NOT HELPING AT ALL


==>

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Hey.

Hello.

So... I'm actually lurking around this thread since, like, update 30, just trying to think of something to suggest, but your adventure is so awesome that no suggestions I could think of could compare to it's sheer awesomeness.

I'm not going to suggest anything, just going to say that you're doing a wonderful work here, kind sir.

Up till now, there's not been a single suggestions that's been truly off-limits! The more outlandish suggestions just require more creativity, that's my take on it at least!

(Also thanks!)

Seb: Turn your head towards the sun and give your widest grin. Blind the guard with your brilliant pearly whites and then...
Gwyn: SHORY-BEER-KEN!!

Y'know... I was THIS close to make a mysterious green flash appear in the sky, serving the purpose of a sun. But I figured that would be a pretty blatant reference. Super-sneaky references are more fun!

Not that they'd pose much of a challenge in this place

[ChronoSamurai]

Throw dragon toothbrush into flames!

[goldedge2]

>Seb: ues Thunder devil to stab the GENERAL'S legs.
>Gwydian: punch the dragon in face so hard you knock out his tooth.
>GENERAL: Use spear tech: Thousand stabs!
>Gwydian:USE THE DEAD NINJA AS A FLAIL.

[Chaos Waltz]

Why must logic always thwart my greatest ideas. . .

Ava> do dragon maidens have some sort of secret for making themselves temporarily fireproof? Because that would be awesome right now. . .

Seb> Freezing Gaze, or whatever it was you used on Gwyddi.

Twiddlefeet> COUNTERFLAME!!!

[Anthano Zasalla]

Play the Flame Game.

[siguard]

Ava> argue that True Men are also Gentlemen and thus "Rescue" maidens such as yourself from dangerous situations such as this, getting them out of the danger zone in the process
Bros> Seb should distract the General for a bit and give Gwydlin enough time to put him in a "headlock" closing the dangerous flame spewing mouth in the process.

[Wessolf27]

Seb: Ice-cold Stare. It's your only option!
Gwyd: Continuously whack the general with the Demon Couch
Ava: Show no mercy with your taunts!



...


General: Reveal yourself to be a true Dragon-man.

[Mibbs]

Ice Cold Stare until he calms down.

[goldedge2]

>Ava: pray to your god.

[ZenFeline]

ICY STARE.

[Professor zobot]

>Sebastian: Magnum Ice-Cold Stare the fire breath to freeze the fire solid! It's the only way!

I'm sorry. I'm so very very sorry. I couldn't NOT make that reference.

>Gwydian: Seriously. The fuck is up with your bro and staring today? Am I right? You should probably warn him about stares.

>Ava: Well fine. If you MUST be stuck here, you can at least deal damage to morale. Tell the Bros the dirty secret of who the person in that suit of armor REALLY is and why he/she/it's hides inside a giant suit of killer armor all day.

[Torquemadras Trump]

Legend of the Hunter - 59

Seb> Freezing Gaze, or whatever it was you used on Gwyddi.

Ice Cold Stare until he calms down.

Seb: Ice-cold Stare. It's your only option!

ICY STARE.

CHILLAX, you tell yourself! When flames abound, when you're getting the heat and it's a flip-the-fuck-out furnace out there, THERE'S ONLY ONE THING TO DO.



KEEP YOUR COOL.

WHAT'S WITH THE MERCILESS STARE, HONORABLE EXORCIST?
HOW VERY DISCOMFORTING! SENDS A CHILL DOWN MY SPINE!
WAIT...
THIS ISN'T A METAPHOR.
WHY ISN'T IT A METAPHOR?!



Paralyzed by the mysterious workings of your SUB-ZERO METAPHORICAL GAZE, the General ceases movement just long enough for Gwydian to attack. You still don't know why your staring suddenly causes ice and EXTREME DISCOMFORT. Maybe that burning sensation in your eyes back when you read that HARDCORE SPELLZ book wasn't just from all the sick burns those wicked wizard honchos were dropping like trees, AND IT'S LUMBERJACK SEASON ALL THE TIME.

Bros> Seb should distract the General for a bit and give Gwydlin enough time to put him in a "headlock" closing the dangerous flame spewing mouth in the process.

Yeah I got him bro! I'll keep those pesky flames in

>Gwydian:USE THE DEAD NINJA AS A FLAIL.

By using the ninja in a nunchaku choke!
Ninjas really are awesome weapons
Almost as awesome as chairs



Well, what now? You have a breather now, but Gwydian's... ninja... choke... thing won't last forever. You need to think of something to finish this battle, fast, that'll break even the General's defenses!

>Ava: Well fine. If you MUST be stuck here, you can at least deal damage to morale. Tell the Bros the dirty secret of who the person in that suit of armor REALLY is and why he/she/it's hides inside a giant suit of killer armor all day.

LITTLE DO YOU KNOW that Ava is preparing a devastating HUMILIATION COMBO, to end this battle by making you all TOO EMBARASSED TO CONTINUE! Using her supreme WISHFUL THINKING LV.4 SKILL, she manages to think of something she always wanted to say to the general of a stupid lizard-wearing army.

Ava: Show no mercy with your taunts!

HEY! General! Your honor schtick is completely ridiculous!
You're the only one who actually believes in "warrior traditions"! It's SILLY SILLY SILLY!
Oh, how about this? Stop your stupid brawl and do your job,
or I'll tell everyone just who's in that armor!
No? Noooooo? Alright, you asked for it!
You're hiding in your bizarre mobile dragon tank because -





==>

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>Sebastian: Magnum Ice-Cold Stare the fire breath to freeze the fire solid! It's the only way!

I'm sorry. I'm so very very sorry. I couldn't NOT make that reference.

You are instantly forgiven because that is an awesome movie!

Also, the video stops right before the best moment. What the hell, anonymous Youtube uploader. What the hell.

[siguard]

Elite Guard> put a end to these shenanigans with three well placed judo chops and a stern warning to the general

[PavlovianCat]

> Guard: Cover Ava's mouth just in time to stop her from revealing the HUMILIATING SECRET.

[Wessolf27]

>Ava: Bite the hands that seal your mouth! Don't let an appendage stop your words!

[Godbot]

> THAT DRAGON TANK SUIT IS ACTUALLY A REMOTE CONTROLLED ROBOT
> YOU'RE ACTUALLY A WOMAN
> I'M THE CAPTAIN OF THE ELITE DRAGON GUARD
> YOU'RE TWO PEOPLE STANDING ON EACH OTHER'S SHOULDERS
> YOU'RE JUST TRISTAN UNDER ALL THAT ARMOR
> IT WAS THE ONLY WAY TO FIT THE ENTIRE ELITE DRAGON GUARD INSIDE

[flyingBrick]

He's half wyvern!

His only shame!

He only wears the dragon armor because dragons are much cooler.

Or something.

[goldedge2]

>Seb: use Thunder devil to stab the GENERAL'S legs.

[Professor zobot]

Ava Dramatic reveals, take twoish!

-YOU'RE DOMONE KASHUU! [/dated reference]
-YOU'RE A GIANT CHICKEN IN DISGUISE!
-YOU'RE KING SKAL POSING AS THE GENERAL!
-YOU'RE A WOMAN TRYING TO BE TREATED EQUALLY IN A MAN'S WORLD!
-YOU'RE HAVING A BAD HAIR DAY!
-YOU'RE ACTUALLY THE DRAGON GENERAL! ...Wait, let me try that again...
-YOU'RE A NANCY BOY!
-YOU HAVE A HORRIFYING BODY ODOR!

Heehee. Those were fun to write.

[Demothesis]

A bit of fan art for the comic, because I was on an arting kick. I'll have a couple more tomorrow as well.

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Rest in Peace Arthur, you habitual jerk.

[Professor zobot]

Man, poor Arthur. He was a jerk, but he didn't deserve that. Ah well.

I like that fanart, Demo!

[Chaos Waltz]

The secret is obviously that the General is really a Brony. And Rarity is his favorite character.

Also Gwyddi> Finish him!

[Torquemadras Trump]

Legend of the Hunter - 60

> Guard: Cover Ava's mouth just in time to stop her from revealing the HUMILIATING SECRET.

Elite Guard> put a end to these shenanigans with three well placed judo chops and a stern warning to the general

Why cover the mouth, or even resort to violence, when a MEANINGFULLY PLACED HAND ON THE SHOULDER has the same effect? Ava immediately falls silent upon seeing the guard. EVERYBODY in Videgotto knows this guy. And if you see him and his silly collar, you shut up. RULES. Although you've seen much sillier collars today.

> THAT DRAGON TANK SUIT IS ACTUALLY A REMOTE CONTROLLED ROBOT
> YOU'RE ACTUALLY A WOMAN
> I'M THE CAPTAIN OF THE ELITE DRAGON GUARD
> YOU'RE TWO PEOPLE STANDING ON EACH OTHER'S SHOULDERS
> YOU'RE JUST TRISTAN UNDER ALL THAT ARMOR
> IT WAS THE ONLY WAY TO FIT THE ENTIRE ELITE DRAGON GUARD INSIDE

-YOU'RE KING SKAL POSING AS THE GENERAL!
-YOU'RE A WOMAN TRYING TO BE TREATED EQUALLY IN A MAN'S WORLD!
-YOU'RE A NANCY BOY!

Or maybe it is ALL OF THESE THINGS AT ONCE?!

No, not really. Though Ava can't help imagining it. Such is the curse of those with SUPERIOR WISHFUL THINKING.



Time to finish this once and for all! Gwydian decides to utilize his newest trick- the DEVIL DASH!

Those QTEs CAN be useful! Who'd have thought!

Will he hit his mark? Or will the General recover, and greet Gwydian's falling attack with a guisarme to the face?

Or will someone conveniently swoop in and THROW THE GENERAL TOWARDS THE COMET-LIKE DESCENDING FIST WITH EXPERTLY UTILIZED LEVERAGE?

Gwyddi> Finish him!

Turns out, SOMEONE WILL.

Sebastian's MOMENTUM GAUGE has been filled by all the dodging he's done in the early part of the fight! That means he can, at one point, release all the built-up momentum to turn his opponent's power and weight against him. That can be used to redirect attacks or outright throw opponents... somewhere... or into something. A risky strategy to use, but very effective!

Risky my ass
The risky ones are THE BEST
Victory, bro!



The battle is over! The General , while clearly not entirely incapacitated, DEEMS THIS A SATISFACTORY BEATING.

NOT BAD... HONORABLE EXORCISTS!

>Ava: Bite the hands that seal your mouth! Don't let an appendage stop your words!

To Ava's surprise, the guard with the silly collar draws two blades OUT OF NOWHERE. He can't possibly intend to prolong this fight even further, can he?! Oh no. No no no. You're NOT going to let this happen. SOMEHOW.

AVA'S ABILITY TO PUT UP WITH THIS BULLSHIT HAS DECREASED BY 134 BOLLOCKS!

==>

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A bit of fan art for the comic, because I was on an arting kick. I'll have a couple more tomorrow as well.



Rest in Peace Arthur, you habitual jerk.

I would commend you on this great piece of art.

But I can't actually see it

Because of all the TEARS OF JOY I'm shedding

Awesome work, and thanks a lot!

[Mibbs]

Guard: Give them their complimentary BLADES OF TRUE MEN, then take them on the way to the king.

[Demothesis]

and the other piece of fanart! The brothers this time.

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