Legend of the Hunter: Chapter 4 - [S] Fight. Talk. Don't die.

[Torquemadras Trump]

Legend of the Hunter - 77

Gwydian: Whatever happened to those lotto tickets?

Good thinking!
They're pretty much a last resort, though
Since I kiiiiiindaaaaaa spent the stolen money on... stuff already
Hey, Dire Beer isn't cheap, the bartenders might have to pay for your funeral afterwards after all
So, lottery tickets it is!
I guess you need to redeem those things, but eeeeeh they'll do



...if I didn't have such shitty luck, that is
Nothing but fuckin BLANKS dammit
Oh, don't feel bad.
That were still better chances than most stock markets I know.

Gwydians LUCK STAT is at a critical low, meaning his chances at gambling are downright abyssmal, and the only things his enemies drop are BODY PARTS. His hopes of sneakily financing his murdering seating opportunities with sheer luck are shattered!
His chances to get his hands on legal money look slim right now!

gwydian: put it on your tab then buy more for good measure

Oh whatever put it on Hieronymus Slick's tab
There's some chubby dude in red dragon armor running around who'll do that
Might look pissed
If he looks even more pissed once you mention my name, you found the right one
You know what
I think we can still squeeze more chairs in there



The mysterious, BUT IMPORTANT newcomer arrives any minute now. The bodyguard of the King impatiently waits at the station.
Soon enough, he will take part in a series of events connecting in truly astounding ways. People will stand back and marvel at how much rotten luck can come together in a single place - that is, IF THEY ARE STILL STANDING AT ALL AT THE END OF IT.

Hrm.
's been too quiet.
Couple assassins, couple jokers...
Where's the bigshot contract killer? Where's the big fucking demon wreaking havoc?
I didn't catch so much as a glance of either of those.
This is so boring, it's making me extra-suspicious...

The train arrives. The stranger prepares to exit.

Important, Mysterious Stranger: Exit the train in a cool and hard-boiled manner.

AT IT.

Ava: Well, he's the prince, better tell him the stuff you need to tell him, pronto.

Ava would like too, but he's a prince about to marry! He sure has better stuff to do. Instead, Ava decides to adhere to the prince's advice and STOP WORRYING ABOUT WORDS. That's one of the few things he has in common with his father: he can be very... REASSURING. She'll go to the exorcist, right now, and UNLEASH THE ROMANCE!

Prince Rasp: Go give more random people advice on their personal matters. This is a thing you do all the time.

As Ava leaves, Prince Rasp starts bothering everybody else. That's kinda his thing. He meddles. No private affair remains undiscussed, no relationship is spared from a never-ending hail storm of advice, no wallowing in self-pity can escape UTTER OBLITERATION BY CEASELESS FEEL-GOOD-COMMENTS.

Meddling is fun!



Prince Rasp! The garment! The HOLY GARMENTS!
Putemonputemonputemooooooooon
This is the happiest moment of my LIFE
Woah, settle down, Lamard!
Haha, you're like a little child. With a strange fixation on dragons, but that isn't exactly a rarity around here...
Oh! There she is! My beloved! My honeybun! My bride!
And her guard.
Well, never mind that guy. Don't go anywhere, Lamard!
Gotta say Hello.
Nooooo
Don't spoil the momeeeeeent

==>

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Is there a mirror site? I feel I need a refresher.

I didn't mirror anything yet, sorry! I've been too busy with the updates themselves, to be honest... Maybe I can look into that once this chapter ends. OR, if one of you feels super-incredibly-magnificiently-awesomely-nice, you might even do it yourself! I certainly wouldn't object, and neither would anyone else, I guess!
So, I'll see what I can do once the next break comes around. Or someone who feels like mirroring stuff could write me a PM or something! Let's see!

Um, what the author guy doing the playthrough said. To be perfectly honest during my playthrough I never FOUND a mummified cat that eventually ate magic. Then again, I did a lot of stuff differently... I took Gwydian through full-alchemy upgrades (I thought it'd turn him into a BADASS BARTENDER or a MAD MIXOLOGIST) and before my copy of the game broke midway through play I had been trying to figure out why whenever I tried to leave the city to go grind forest imps my game would freeze up.

So I have no idea what will happen with Mr. Twiddlefeet. Heck, it could turn into some kind of catgirl pharoah or something for all I know

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Seriously, though, I've been avoiding talking about "My" playthrough of this game because it's a comic and I'm not going to try and make it anything more than a running joke. This probably doesn't need to be said but this is Trump's thing and anything he comes up for it is by default probably better than anything I say. But

Hmmmm, this seems to have been a pretty common error in the game. Probably part of the reason why it sold like crap, really. (Aside from drunk programmers.)

Did you try insulting the forest imp's mothers from the city walls? I always found that to be a pretty effective method of pulling forest imps inside. You can always grind for more CUSSOLOGY LEVELS in the wordsmith district, and getting Gwydian's taunting skills up to snuff is a pretty good idea anyway, given the abundant VILE VOCABULARY enemies not far from now. Then again, I wouldn't blame anyone for getting tired of hearing Gwydian call everybody a raging asscunt all the time.

That just goes on to show how small-minded you are
Sputtering sheepfucker

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I actually really like silly conversations like that, so as long as there's still suggestions, I really don't mind! Best case, this thread gets someone so confused they think Legend of the Hunter is real.

...although it obviously IS real.

IN YOUR HEART

[Kocel232]

Rasp: Pursue ye honeybun.

Ava: Pursue ye Exorcist.

Huge, Monstrous Demon: Pursue ye town of fleshy morsels.

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Ha, I'm liking Rasp. I thought he'd be some lecherous dick or something, but he's more of good-hearted, optimistic idiot. Well, maybe he's not an idiot, don't know that for sure quite yet, but he just gives off some type of vibe, maybe it's just me.

[Mibbs]

Mysterious stranger: fail landing, fall on face

[Chaos Waltz]

Mysterious Stranger> Gracefully float to the ground on your fairy wings.

YOU LOVE FAIRIES SO FREAKIN MUCH!

[OnBackorder]

The merchant is in the cannon? Well, that won't be a problem. I'm sure the demon won't show itself until the ceremony starts. And it's not like the cannon tech will lock them in there, because who has the foresight to lock the drunkard down so he is ready when the time comes to fire. Surely not this crew; especially not the engineer in charge and in arms reach of the latch. Just look at him, all stupid and sober. He can't even hear a word I said.

[keyong]

Prince - Run towards your bride and, on accident, run into the Mysterious Stranger as he's coming down from the sky., causing him to drop the book and the book be somehow destroyed.

Mysterious Stranger - Rage, and attack the prince, only to be blocked by the 'Clown' and giant fight between the two ensue

[Professor zobot]

GIRL. GIRL, LISTEN TO ME. WEIRD DRAGON DIETY THINGY DANGIT LISTEN TO ME. DON'T FALL FOR THAT EXORCIST, HE'S NO GOOD FOR YOU. EXORCISTS ONLY END UP GETTING PLOT RELATED DEATHS OR FANCY ADVENTURER LOVE INTERESTS AND BREAK YOUR HEART. YOU CEASE THIS ROMANTIC INTEREST THIS INSTANT.

Actually, from what I hear there is a workaround for having no money in the game where if you press up up up R Left-Joystick Alt-Tab Right Lower-C and then just flail around the dpad randomly for ten seconds any merchant will give you stuff for free. I never tried it on my game because I forgot to test it before my copy broke. You should try it here!

[Wandering One]

Mr. Gwydian: Have you considered using the Way Of The Five Fingered Discount? Its quite simple... Just curl your five fingers into a ball and apply to his head until he passes out, his worldly possessions passing to you so that his weighty burdens may be released. Quite enlightening, really. Very zen. What I am saying is you need to get your ROB on. (I'm saying you need to rob him)

[Professor zobot]

(Please disreguard this comment if you do not celebrate the american holiday of thanksgiving.)

>Gwydain: Use programmer mode to activate the Turkey Day Mode Easter Egg and gather the assorted cast members for a decidedly non-canon feast with libations a-plenty.

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I had to suggest this. I have no regrets.

[Torquemadras Trump]

Legend of the Hunter - 78

Rasp: Pursue ye honeybun.

The prince hurries towards his beloved, ready to engage in ILLEGITIMATE PRE-NUPTIAL DISCOURSE. The tradition is thoroughly broken, and although the overall ceremony will in no way be affected, this humiliated, shambling wreck once known as the proud tradition of Videgotto WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.

Just kidding, NOBODY CARES.

*ahem*
You're one of the princess' guard, right? Would you kindly let me through?
...say, you don't happen to be a former Videgotto soldier, would ya?
With the fancy dragon armor, and all -
Why, yes, I'll stop talking to you immediately once you let me pass!
I knew we would find an agreement.



Honeybun!
Gettin' married anytime soon? Oh, don't be surprised!
Disregard my father's silly talk about tradition. A short visit can't hurt, no?
Just thought I'd let you know how lucky I am to endure this horrendous ceremony right now. 'cause it's for you.

The PRINCESS OF LEOSTARIA appears slightly overwhelmed by her future husband's words. She replies with a smile. The prince can only guess what it really means, but he knows one thing for sure - HE ABSOLUTELY LOVES THAT SMILE.

Hahaha... Yeah...
Oh, and by the way - this is just a rumor going around, but there MIGHT be a surprise in store for you afterwards!
A little present from your future husband.
I guess it won't be as much of a surprise now, but I know you'll love it...
Because it's something fit for the future queen!



Aaaaah, yeah. The ceremonial garb.
You sure are lucky. You can still fit through doors with your outfit!
This is the kinda thing that happens when a huge army has nothing to do for decades. They... embellish.
I got to appreciate it, though. I'd rather have father embellishing than putting that army to some other use. Hell, he can embellish the fuck out of this city as far as I care!
Hm... Am I talking too much, honeybun?

Don't worry, sweetheart.
You're always talking too much. But I don't mind.
In fact, I wanted to tell you something as well.



I have a little surprise for you, too.
And I know you'll love it.



It's something fit for the future king.

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Beowulf: Be mindbogglingly bored. Resort to playing "Rock Paper Scissors" with your barber demon.

Rock, Paper, Scissor...
HAHAHA! YOU FOOL! YOU CHOSE SCISSOR AGAIN!
Whereas we, the infallible BEASTMAGE BEOWULF, have chosen ROCK!
By the holy laws of Rock, Paper AND SCISSOR, it is decreed that you, lowly barber demon, have LOST!
Wallow in your defeat, pitiable creature, and drown in and endless abyss of shame!
MWAHAHAHA! MWAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!
Fuck I'm bored
How long can it fucking take to put one prince in his ceremonial outfit

==>

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Okay, folks... ONLY A SINGLE SUGGESTION THIS TIME. (Well, two, in a way...) What does that mean? It means PLOT! PLOTPLOTPLOT

But your suggestions, honorable folks, are not going to waste. I'll try and keep the chaos under control so that we'll have a satisfying conclusion... So don't feel overlooked, your suggestions will return with a vengeance once we return to the corresponding characters!

I hope this isn't too much railroading

[Chaos Waltz]

WellFuck.jpg

This might not be useful OR necessary, but
Everyone's plans> go horribly awry.

[Askia]

Is that you demon?

[Mibbs]

Beowulf: Prepare

[Wessolf27]

Tristan El Vendavval: What the heck are you doing right now?

[OnBackorder]

Does that mean if we all say nothing, updates will happen faster?

[Kocel232]

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No, it's cool, I was afraid that I was update-spamming. XP

Lamard: Calm thyself for the ceremony. Recall what you need to do during the ceremony, which isn't hard, seeing how you've memorized this by heart due to the fact that officiating it has been your life dream.

[keyong]

Mysterious Stranger - Be Beowulf's rival! Discover him while sky diving out of your ride and fight him.

[Godbot]

> Sebastian: Where'd you run off to?

[Professor zobot]

Don't worry. You're so far from "Railroading" that the light from Railroading would take ten years to get half way to us, say "bugger this all for a game of sailors", and go off to the nearest pub for a mug of light beer instead.

>Prince Rasp: Don't thy get fresh now!

And that's the only suggestion I'm going to make.

Can't wait to see what happens next!

[Torquemadras Trump]

Legend of the Hunter - 79

Tristan El Vendavval: What the heck are you doing right now?

But the plans and present by the alleged Lady Naum are not the only things contributing to the events up ahead. Even those thought to be MERE EXPERIENCE-GIVING PUNCHING BAGS will play their part.



Hmmm, these magic items don't seem to be doing much.
I wonder if the exorcist just wanted to keep me away...?

Tristan> be fighting demons summoned by the Demon bait and the Demonic Energies lining in the Old Magical Crap

BY THE GODS WHAT IS THAT?!
Okay, breathing, Tris - I mean, El Vendaval! Keep breathing steadily!
You can defeat this... possessed voodoo doll! You can do it!
Eat my table, despicable fiend!!!
This doesn't sound right somehow

The brave table fighter El Vendaval engages the magical creature awoken by the demonic energy! Although an epic battle with lots of dramatic scenes and near-death-experiences, IT IS UNFORTUNATELY TOO UNIMPORTANT TO SHOW. The aftermath is much more relevant.



Meanwhile, Gwydian thinks about his possibilities to get money for the merchant. The incessant salesman reminds him that, if he wants to put anything on his brother's tab, he'd like a WRITTEN PERMISSION first, seal and all! Not that Gwydian's an untrustworthy customer, nonono.

Well, screw that! I'll get that money the best way...
BY CHEATING!

Actually, from what I hear there is a workaround for having no money in the game where if you press up up up R Left-Joystick Alt-Tab Right Lower-C and then just flail around the dpad randomly for ten seconds any merchant will give you stuff for free. I never tried it on my game because I forgot to test it before my copy broke. You should try it here!

However, the RIDICULOUSLY COMPLICATED CHEAT CODE cannot be activated by Gwydian! His button-imitating moves simply lack the proper grace, being more akin to random flailing than SKILLFUL BUTTON INPUT IMITATIONS.

What I am saying is you need to get your ROB on. (I'm saying you need to rob him)

...or, failing that, flailing my arms around like a madman so that this dealer guy gets intimidated and gives me ALL HIS STUFF.
So, robbing! How 'bout it?

The merchant is unimpressed. And since this guy, for some reason, instills THE PRIMAL FEAR OF CREDIT UNWORTHINESS in Gwydian, he reluctantly accepts the worst solution of all...

Ava: Pursue ye Exorcist.

And finally, Ava is heading for the fake exorcist. She'll find him in time by asking members of the Remedy Squad, or perhaps even intuition. More importantly, her arrival will be accompanied by the most peculiar timing.

These three, Gwydian, Tristan El Vendaval and Ava are all trying to speak to Sebastian this night.

> Sebastian: Where'd you run off to?

Oh man, this magic artifact is a real danger...
I best take it to Mr. Slick to get rid of it for good! He'll know what to do.
...can't fuckin BELIEVE I'm asking Seb for fuckin MONEY. Uh, his signature to put it on his tab, that is.
It's for purchasing murder chairs! And I'll be back in the cannon instantly!
He really has no reason to complain. Fuckin killjoy.
Eternal romance walks with swift feet through the holiest of all nights!
Just you wait, Hieronymus Slick! It's meant to be! I know it! I just know it!
I bet the moment I see him he's doing something particularly heroic...

Everyone's plans> go horribly awry.

None of them will succeed at talking to him tonight.

==>

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Does that mean if we all say nothing, updates will happen faster?

Well, were'd be the fun in that?

No worries, I think I'm done using older suggestions. Only new ones now!

And if you noticed, yeah, I'm trying to reduce the number of "active" characters; I'll downplay those that are busy doing something already (Rasp, Ava, Tristan El Vendaval, Gwydian...) a bit to progress things. Doesn't mean they'll vanish or anything, I'm just trying to keep it comprehensible!

(BTW, I dropped a critique request in the Adventure Critique thread; maybe you feel like suggesting some improvements for this comic! Let's see.)

[siguard]

jeez i really have nothing to suggest, it looks like everyone has a plan of action to follow and are just waiting for the whole wedding to reach its climax, oh and i totally knew Lady Nam was the princess as soon as i saw her guard talking to rasp.

[OnBackorder]

Seb: Be practicing alchemy while waiting for the merchant to leave. Combine rocks with stones. Somehow the two are separate alchemy components, so they must do something.

Gwydian: What is asking for permission but lying about what you were going to do anyway. Just say this is an insurance policy from the Remedy Squad, he can't read, not with those glasses.

Ava: Keep being cheerful. Keep being cheerful. Keep being cheerful.

[Mibbs]

shit: go down

[Kocel232]

Stranger: Arrive.

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A single worded command should suffice at this point, shouldn't it? I have a feeling that the next events are already set in stone from previous commands, anyways.

[Wessolf27]

everything: happen