Legend of the Hunter: Chapter 4 - [S] Fight. Talk. Don't die.

[Kocel232]

I find it interesting that Helmstrom's done almost nothing this entire subplot and everyone's cursing him instead of the person who swung the sword or the guy who gave the order

Mantikor, and this is the ONE time I'll refer to him by his real name on purpose (I'm sure I've done it on accident on occasion), at least did his job with RESPECT. He didn't enjoy killing Lamard, and he made it quick. Skal didn't necessarily ENJOY the idea of sacrificing Lamard, he saw it as a necessary evil for the greater good. But Helmstrom? Helstrom got a freakin' chuckle out of it. Yeah. I'm slightly sore at Skal and Mantikor (moreso at the former), but I am PISSED at Helmstrom. I'm recommending that we as the reader-base skew all our commands when Helmstrom is in the game to SCREW HIM OVER. He will have no good luck from now on, if I have a say in it.

I mean, Lamard's death, by this point, WAS inevitable, but, really, Helmstrom went too far.

>Perspective: Switch to something uplifting for some good-ol'-fashioned Mood Whiplash.

[forkinyoureye]

Mantikor, and this is the ONE time I'll refer to him by his real name on purpose (I'm sure I've done it on accident on occasion), at least did his job with RESPECT. He didn't enjoy killing Lamard, and he made it quick. Skal didn't necessarily ENJOY the idea of sacrificing Lamard, he saw it as a necessary evil for the greater good. But Helmstrom? Helstrom got a freakin' chuckle out of it. Yeah. I'm slightly sore at Skal and Mantikor (moreso at the former), but I am PISSED at Helmstrom. I'm recommending that we as the reader-base skew all our commands when Helmstrom is in the game to SCREW HIM OVER. He will have no good luck from now on, if I have a say in it.

I mean, Lamard's death, by this point, WAS inevitable, but, really, Helmstrom went too far.

Agreed.

[Wandering One]

Mantikor, and this is the ONE time I'll refer to him by his real name on purpose (I'm sure I've done it on accident on occasion), at least did his job with RESPECT. He didn't enjoy killing Lamard, and he made it quick. Skal didn't necessarily ENJOY the idea of sacrificing Lamard, he saw it as a necessary evil for the greater good. But Helmstrom? Helstrom got a freakin' chuckle out of it. Yeah. I'm slightly sore at Skal and Mantikor (moreso at the former), but I am PISSED at Helmstrom. I'm recommending that we as the reader-base skew all our commands when Helmstrom is in the game to SCREW HIM OVER. He will have no good luck from now on, if I have a say in it.

I mean, Lamard's death, by this point, WAS inevitable, but, really, Helmstrom went too far.

>Perspective: Switch to something uplifting for some good-ol'-fashioned Mood Whiplash.

When you put it like that I get it, and I'm entirely on board with the plan. Helmstrom thus far, well, I TRIED to like him but his character has almost entirely of his antagonism with Lamard (name three other faucets of his personality without describing him physically) and he was entirely too happy about it being resolved.

Also, because he's a creepy old man.

ANYWAY, perspective switch: Be someone we haven't ever seen before!

[Druplesnubb]

his character has almost entirely of his antagonism with Lamard (name three other faucets of his personality without describing him physically)

How about, dishonesty, lust for power and moral laxity?

So yeah...

[Torquemadras Trump]

Legend of the Hunter - 142

>Be the main protagonists.

Maybe it's about time to see what the MAIN PROTAGONISTS are doing.

>Be Twiddlefeet.

You are MR. TWIDDLEFEET, a necromantic abomination filled with an ever-burning hate for all that lives, the sickening fires of impurity and an UNCONDITIONAL LOVE FOR YOUR OWNER.

You are currently speeding across the sky to return to said owner. He gave you an important mission. You're not quite sure whether you did what was asked from you, since you are both INCAPABLE OF HUMAN LANGUAGE and HORRIFICALLY STUPID.

GAME INFO
Wait a sec, that's not one of the main protagonists...

I... think...

>Perspective change: Be Esmerelda. Be watching a squirrel go for Gwydian's jugular.

No no no, scratch that. YOU ARE NOW ESMERALDA AGAIN. Not too long ago, you watched the brothers wage a fierce battle against MURDERSQUIRRELS, an exceptionally cute species of squirrels, though it's hard to see that beyond ALL THE MURDER. And technically, only one brother participated. Sebastian thought the whole thing was stupid.



Long story short, THEY'RE PRETTY TASTY. Now you're stuck wondering what to alchemize while you're bored.

Yo! I think Twiddlefeet's coming back!
And he's got some quality loot carryin there
Man I gotta score me some undead cat treats for him
Well, try to keep it under control.
I don't want Aaron to pick up any traces of demonic energy.
Don't give me that crap, bro
You're grillin squirrel, dude! What if he SEES that?!
I don't think that's going to be a problem.



We're not the only ones with campfires around here.

The magnificent THAMATON TREE rises before you! It's home of many NEMEANS, the beast men of the forest. It is also one of the few places where sky trains are allowed to land, possibly because it's technically not Nemean territory. And even that isn't approved by all Nemeans around.

If your memories of this place are correct - and they're pretty darn ancient memories -, then there's a variety of interesting ways you can reach the top. That's where you'll have to go if you want to ride the sky train.



And then, that weird necromantic cat lich reappears! You did wonder what was up with that thing.

It's kinda cute, in the same way a murdersquirrel is.

Twiddlefeet! Best cat, paws down
Hey, what you got there? Hats?
SO MANY HATS
Nah, I don't see any imp corpses there. Never mind.
I'm sure you committed SOME violence to get those hats!

>Perspective: Switch to something uplifting for some good-ol'-fashioned Mood Whiplash.

ALL OUR MOMS ARE DEAD
ALL OF THEM
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH


==>

[OnBackorder]

It's a tree, you can climb it.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

What would it take to cut that down?

[Mibbs]

Twiddlefeet: level up from wholesale slaughter

[Godbot]

> Gwydian: Dude, is that a giant stone arm?

Can you-

can you hit people with it

[siguard]

> Gwydian: Dude, is that a giant stone arm?

Can you-

can you hit people with it

of course he can hit people with it, i have good reason to believe that if it has mass then Gwydian can hit someone with it. a better question is can he equip it.

Esmerelda>well, mind making a tally of what we have to combine?

[distainfulCatalyst]

>Gwiddian: bug Esmerelda into using her alchemy know-how to upgrade Twiddlefeet some more, as a reward for whatever violent act landed him those awesome hats.

[Superstar]

Esmeralda: It's time to turn hats into different hats while melting down all your useless equipment into raw materials just so you can make more hats out of your hats. Get to it.

[Malrone]

Pretty darn ancient, eh? Just how long have you been walking horizons?

>Random Mob Counsel: begin the accounting of the various war crimes committed by the party.
>Twiddlefeet: Consult the all seeing shoe (i.e. eat it)

[Wessolf27]

>Hat-squid brood: Vow revenge, vow (ineffectual) revenge against the brothers!

[Chaos Waltz]

Esmerelda> combine all the hats into a shape-shifting MASTER HAT.

[Blizz98]

>Esme: Combine all the Hats together, and then, combine that hat with some leaves or rocks or something.

[Kocel232]

>Seb: Pick some leaves off that Blue Bush. That looks useful.

>Gwyddian: Screw the hats, man, you missed the best thing ever! THERE IS A LARGE STONE HEAD, RIGHT NEXT TO THE CAMP. Pick that sucker up! It's no chair, but it'd be pretty cool to chuck it at someone/something.

[Druplesnubb]

Find a way to make a large fire and use it to "bargain" with the people living in the tree.

[Professor zobot]

Esmerelda: attempt to alchemize the All Seeing Shoe and one of your new Hats. That can't possibly end badly.

[smuchmuch]

>Esme: You have acces to freakin AWESOME DEMON POWER to toy wi(th as a basic componenent (and it's owner is too bansihed at the moment to say anything about it, ner ner ner). cm'on you HAVE to try to alchemize it with everything.
At least one of those hats for starter.

[Torquemadras Trump]

Legend of the Hunter - 143

Esmerelda> combine all the hats into a shape-shifting MASTER HAT.

Sebastian looks ready to go. You're not very optimistic the Nemeans will give you a warm welcome, but if they're bored and happen to beat the brothers up, well, THAT'S JUST WHAT HAPPENS...

But before that, it's time to create the ULTIMATE HAT! It won't be a very potent result, since you're not using other alchemy results in the reaction chain. It's not necessary. You're looking for REFINEMENT. It will be a hat without much power. And it will be the ESSENCE OF HAT-NESS, CONDENSED IN THE MOST HAT-LIKE OBJECT THAT THERE HAS EVER BEEN.

Since doing alchemy is so darn cheap for you, refining low-level ingredients in this way is great to reach DANGEROUS LEVELS OF VOUGISHNESS! Man, how awesome is that hat gonna be?!

> Gwydian: Dude, is that a giant stone arm?

ohmigodguysifoundagiantARM
Hey! Bro! Wait up bro! You gotta hear this!
I'm going to the tree now.
If you have to defile remnants of an unspeakably horrible war in the past,
sure, go ahead, but I'm NOT going to wait for you.
No, man, CHECK THIS OUT
Our lass here knows all kinds of awesome alchemy tricks, right?!
We'll have her alchemize GIANT GOLEM ARMS onto Twiddlefeet!
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW AWESOME HIS HIGH-FIVES ARE GONNA BE
I'm having my idea somewhere else right now.
Nooooo wait for meeeeee

>Esme: You have access to freakin AWESOME DEMON POWER.

IT IS DONE! While technically only a series of simple low-level combinations, the result is nonetheless PROMISING! While your Alchemic Spark works its magic, you already think about what to do next - after all, it's not even a LEVEL ONE ALCHEMIC INGREDIENT! With some proper energy input, you could raise it to that level...

Like with AWESOME DEMON POWER, for example! Hell yeah! You can think of no consequences to that whatsoever, except for making a hat roughly as awesome as a burning shoe with eyes. WHICH IS TOTALLY RAD AND VOUGISH.

>Gwiddian: bug Esmerelda into using her alchemy know-how to upgrade Twiddlefeet some more.

Hey hey hey Esmeralda don't you run away too
I've gotta show you this awesome GOLEM AROHFUCKFUCKFUCK
FULL BRAKING AAAAAAH
Whoops



Great. Gwydian came running, slammed on the brakes and threw a damn golem arm in your alchemic spark.

SOLEMN GUARDIAN'S CAP is created! It's a giant tophat made out of golem armor, far too heavy for anyone to wear! And it's not even that vougish! And because of those damn golem parts, its ALCHEMY LEVEL is already too high to alchemize it further with just the Alchemic Spark!

Though it did squash a murdersquirrel under it, which does strike you as a fancy way of weaponizing alchemy. Hmmmm.

Uhm.
I... I don't think Twiddlefeet could give any high-fives with that.
Let's just move on, okay?



Two Nemeans saw that. They're not too pleased.

Whelp, they got a Horizon Walker.
Grrrrreat. Another asshole who alchemizes all our shit the second we look away.
Those idiots have NO idea what they're doing to the socio-economic balance.
Wanna mess with them? I wanna mess with them.
You're not inventing ancient warrior trrrribe ordeals again.


==>

[distainfulCatalyst]

>Nemeans: Show these outsiders that you won't stand for any alchemy-related disruptions of your economy. Send in your mightiest bureaucrats.

[Dragon Fogel]

>Gwyddian, I hope you're not planning on leaving that awesome golem-hat behind. Just think of how hard you can hit with it!

[Godbot]

> YOU MUST GET PAST THE CRANE..... OF PAIN

[Professor zobot]

>Nemeans: Show these outsiders that you won't stand for any alchemy-related disruptions of your economy. Send in your mightiest bureaucrats.

Seconded. So hard.

>Nemeans Customs Agent: Accost Bros with transit paper work. Written on tanned Murdersquirrel Hide.

[Kocel232]

Gwydian: Attempt to put enormous stone hat onto the old Golem head, thus solving an obscure puzzle that grants you access to a secret area.

Darker Nemean: Continue to exhibit your cool, don't-give-a-shit attitude, which was taught to you by your adoptive father. There is only one other that can be as aloof and gruff as you, one you call 'brother' despite having absolutely no relation to, but he left ages ago, headed to human lands to seek out his real parents.