Legend of the Hunter: Chapter 4 - [S] Fight. Talk. Don't die.

[siguard]

"Heir"> start planning a trap, ask the priest for a map of the area and the general direction the demon is coming from, maybe you can set up some wards to "gently" direct it either around the city or into a place where you and your bro can beat the everloving shit out of it
"Salavador"> well it looks like your gonna have to fight a demon, know anything special for fighting them?

[Navigatorblack]

Salvadore: Put out that fire on your leg in a HARD-BOILED manner

[Doorhandle]

>Catch Sword. Aquire Sunglasses.

Gwiddy: Dragon maiden you say? Maidens are just women that haven't met you yet

...After they meet you, they become lesbians.

[Rolf Kopter]

> Gwyddi: You'll need an appropriate target for your newly invented crane-fu. I'd suggest everything in a 500 ft radius around the crane. If anyone asks for the reason of this wanton destruction, obviously you're training for the arrival of the demon!

Ava> turn out to literally be a dragon maiden, as in half dragon.

> Including the necessity of one or to virgins a year, depending on the calories.

[Torquemadras Trump]

Legend of the Hunter - 26

> Gwiddy: Dragon maiden you say? Maidens are just women that haven't met you yet.

"Hiernoymus": GET YOUR SWORD BEFORE IT HURTS PEOPLE.

Time to get this charge-happy sword under control. You snatch the sword out of the air before anymore ATTEMPTED STABBING is brought to fruition.

Naturally, Gwydian wouldn't be a JEERING THUG if he didn't take advantage of the situation immediately.

Hell yeah
Time to unleash
my ultimate pick-up line



Hi, sweetheart
I have no standards whatsoever


The DRAGONMAIDEN AVA is puzzled, a little shocked and, to your neverending relief, OBVIOUSLY IMMUNE TO GWYDIAN'S CHARM WHAT QUALIFIES AS GWYDIAN'S CHARM.

That stupid fool. This here is the chance of a lifetime! He's like a small child, sometimes. A small child capable of acting out EVERY VIOLENT IMPULSE IT CAN IMAGINE.

"Salvadore": IS THAT A CRANE. OH MY GOD. I HAVEN'T USED A CRANE AS A WEAPON BEFORE I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

Holy shit a crane
Be right back, sweetie
There are some things a man just gotta do

Gwyddi> wear the lich-cat Seb made and you subsequently made friends with as a hat, then go grab that crane like ZenFeline said.

Whoooo crane punching

"Heir"> start planning a trap, ask the priest for a map of the area and the general direction the demon is coming from, maybe you can set up some wards to "gently" direct it either around the city or into a place where you and your bro can beat the everloving shit out of it
"Salavador"> well it looks like your gonna have to fight a demon, know anything special for fighting them?

Well, you obviously can't expect much help from "Salvadore" now. But you remind him to return as soon as possible. After all, you're going to take all the loot with you, and this whole bluff depends on the fact that you wear A DEAD EXORCIST'S ARMOR and have the DEMON-PUNCHING SKILLS to back it up!

Father Lamard urges you to proceed to the temple, where you can lay out the specifics of your plan to STOP THE DEMON. You already have a plan in mind and tell him so.

Ah, splendid! That should work just fine.
Of... course, I don't know a thing about exorcist magic.
But if you say there exist wards that can redirect the demon's path,
then there probably are!

Er, mister exorcist, mister Slick, sir,
you can, of course, use everything in our temple for your plan.
The magic artifacts were for you, as well,
but most of them are deep underwater now, I suppose...

Accident! It was an accident! Undoubtedly.
You can come up with the details of your plan in the temple,
and afterwards, you'll talk to the general.

I, um, look forward to seeing the work of one of the great exorcists!
I really do, mister Slick!

>Catch Sword. Aquire Sunglasses.

Remarkably kind words, you think to yourself. Too bad that, even though you caught Alastor, YOU DID NOT, IN FACT, GAIN SUNGLASSES FROM IT.



But you'll ALWAYS HAVE SUNGLASSES in AVA'S HEART.



You carefully ask Ava how you get to be called... dragon maiden. It's a weird title, is all.

Yeah, it's pretty stupid!
It's an old title from back when people were still sacrificing young women to dragons.
I don't think the dragons ever bothered to ask why,
and at some point,
the people didn't either.
Luckily, there's only religious duties associated with it, these days.
Helping with the ceremonies... Keeping people awake during sermons by coughing just at the right moment...
I'm quite happy to not be eaten by a dragon someday, really.
Stupid dragons.

Seb> ask Father Lamard for more information about this demon.

Why, dragons aren't... stupid at all, don't you think?
Anyway - you wanted to know something about the demon.
Unfortunately, we don't know much ourselves, yet -
only that it pretty much causes disease and decay wherever it walks,
and that no-one actually saw it, only what it left behind.
But there's no doubt it will descend from the mountains soon,
and reach Videgotto!
But I'm sure a specialist like you can help us.

Of course you can.
PRESUMABLY.

==>

[Godbot]

Oh, it's just the plague. Wear a handkerchief over your nose and mouth and you'll be fine.

[PavlovianCat]

> Sebastion: You know a little about demons, right? Just make up some fancy explanation that sounds good, they'll just think they're too stupid to understand it.

[Anthano Zasalla]

> Sebastion: You know a little about demons, right? Just make up some fancy explanation that sounds good, they'll just think they're too stupid to understand it.

"Really? Disease... decay... sounds like a demon of the, uh, fifth ring. They're pretty nasty, but easily warded by... Dumbgwyd's Circle, an extremely complex octogram which I'd demonstrate if it didn't take about three hours to draw accurately."

[Godbot]

> Sebastion: You know a little about demons, right? Just make up some fancy explanation that sounds good, they'll just think they're too stupid to understand it.

"Really? Disease... decay... sounds like a demon of the, uh, fifth ring. They're pretty nasty, but easily warded by... Dumbgwyd's Circle, an extremely complex octogram which I'd demonstrate if it didn't take about three hours to draw accurately."

I'm pretty sure Ava would show unwavering interest and wait patiently for you to finish if you offered to draw it.

[ZenFeline]

Gwiddy: CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE
Seb: Do something awesome

[Chaos Waltz]

Gwyddi> grab crane, and ignite it with the magic fire from the lich-cat pure fires of awesomeness!

Seb> come up with amazing anti-demon plan involving punching your brother so hard with banishing punch he becomes a banishing projectile himself. Or something like that.

[Torquemadras Trump]

Legend of the Hunter - 27

> Sebastion: You know a little about demons, right? Just make up some fancy explanation that sounds good, they'll just think they're too stupid to understand it.

"Really? Disease... decay... sounds like a demon of the, uh, fifth ring. They're pretty nasty, but easily warded by... Dumbgwyd's Circle, an extremely complex octogram which I'd demonstrate if it didn't take about three hours to draw accurately."

Why, yes, you explain to the priest as you ASCEND TO THE EXORCIST'S CHAMBER. You now all about those kind of demons. They're pretty commonplace where... you come from. It's all like, oh, disease and decay cutting a path through the landscape, my, must be those guys again, somebody get a broomstick and POKE THEM UNTIL THEY GO AWAY.

Of course, you are renowned for your superior DEMON POKING SKILLS.

Father Lamard would pretty much believe anything you say right now.



This is where we gathered all information that might be useful to you!
Tomes, maps, detailed information on the town - and, of course, you can ask us as well.
These are all gifts from the Silver Knights, in fact!
I know, I know, the Silver Knights are more peacekeepers than demon specialists,
but I hope their collected knowledge will be of avail, nonetheless.
Ava and I will prepare everything for the official visit to the general.
Oh, and the guards collected all the artifacts that you could rescue from the...
Uhm...
Unfortunate accident!

The other of the Twin Wyrm Guards, who adheres to the CODEX OF NON-PLAYERS and therefore has no name, is not pleased with this turn of events. While he doesn't say it outright - after all, he plans on being a non-player character for a long time -, it's clear that he DOESN'T TRUST YOU, waiting for a chance to EXPOSE A SUSPECTED FRAUD or at least earn a little extra money.

You stay relaxed. The guard doesn't know nearly enough to endanger YOUR BRAND NEW EXORCIST PRIVILEGES.

...and here we go! We now have access to a headquarter!
This will be our base of operations while we roam Videgotto; here, we have a map, various sources of information concering demons and alchemy, and a way of storing all that extra crap you've probably picked up along the way.

MEANWHILE

Gwyddi> grab crane, and ignite it with the magic fire from the lich-cat pure fires of awesomeness!

CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE

CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE
Ooooooh nice going Mr. Twiddlefeet



That sure is a thing that's happening somewhere else now.

You're not worried about your brother screwing this whole thing up, actually. He might cause RANDOM BRAWLS wherever he goes, but he's not so stupid to actually blow your cover. That's because blowing someone's cover usually DOESN'T INVOLVE PUNCHING.

The Twin Wyrm Guard leaves. He remarks that he will KEEP AN EYE ON YOU.

You answer that you truly didn't want Tristan to get hurt in any way.

He asks WHO'S TRISTAN.

Oh well.



Nooooow... Wait for it...
Wait for it...
Waaaaaaiiiit for iiiiiiit...



AHAHAHAHA THIS IS REAL THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING AHAHAHA
BWAHAHAHA THIS IS AWESOME I CAN DO EVERYTHING I WANT
They're thinking you're an EXORCIST! And from all this time of demon hunting, you know just enough to BULLSHIT ALL THE WAY THROUGH THE FINISHING LINE! This is so perfect!
Haha I knew it I fucking knew it
I start trouble while that desperately waiting priest is watching, Seb's forced to take action, and - BAMM - instant exorcist
Ahahaha now I can have ALL THE FUN I WANT

Seb> come up with amazing anti-demon plan involving punching your brother so hard with banishing punch he becomes a banishing projectile himself. Or something like that.

As for the demon? YOU'RE GONNA SQUISH THAT MAGGOT. With enough time to charge, you could turn any of these magical artifacts into a banishing projectile. Why, you might even try to enchant Gwydian and turn HIM into a projectile! That way, your punch not only flies BUT ALSO KEEPS PUNCHING. Yes, that's what you're gonna do. Screw warding, you have raw magic power, an incredibly powerful punch and a brother who will go along with it!

But the best part - BY FAR THE BEST PART! - is that you actually have access to equipment from the Silver Knights! You would so rub it into your former master's stupid condescending face if he was here. Hey, you threw me out for some bullshit reason! Guess what! I still take all your stuff and KILL DEMONS WITH IT!

Now, how to kill the demon, get the loot, and abscond WITHOUT GETTING CAUGHT?

==>

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hide spoiler

That's the heaviest parts of plot out of the way!

Let's see what happens next!

[ZenFeline]

Get Gwiddy, then ENCHANT HIM.
Gwiddy: WHEEEEEEEEEEEE PUNCHING THINGS. AAAAAAAAND Oh hey a female. Time for the CHARM.
Female: Be relevant to plot.

[Godbot]

> Take that alchemy book lying on the floor.

> Go find Ava. She said no one's actually seen the demon, but people have seen what it left behind. Ask her what she meant by that. It's the only lead you've got right now.

> Look into finding some kind of healer or doctor. If you're going up against a demon that deals in pestilence, you'll need someone who can cure sicknesses.

[Chaos Waltz]

Seb> Take another few moments to enjoy your good fortune. Then go find your brother to prepare him for his inevitable projectile-hood.

Gwyddi> HAVE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE!!1!!!

Ava> Acquire a pair of sunglasses for Seb.

[Hecthur]

the easiest way not to get caught is to not say your master plan out loud

[PavlovianCat]

> Dragon Guards: Secretly calculate the damages for everything Salvadore breaks and charge them to Hieronymus's tab (which he does not even know he has).

[Rolf Kopter]

> Seb: Acquire Coffee is Life mug. Commence hard science/hard magic-scene.

> Coffee is Life mug: refill automatically with the strongest and blackest essence of life.

> Hole in the wall: host a sentient being capable of breaking the forth wall, with everyone in the game oblivious to it.

[Doorhandle]

>Brood over tomes. Anything that looks helpful?

>What do you already know about demons anyway?

> Dragon Guards: Secretly calculate the damages for everything Salvadore breaks and charge them to Hieronymus's tab (which he does not even know he has).

...yes.

[Wessolf27]

> "Heir" Take that Alchemy Book. Take it. It beckons you. Oh yeah and that Coffee is Life Mug. That is extremely essential in demon hunting. Yes. Very Essential.

...

Okay, you take that Hardcore Spellzbook too. Take up Magicool Dude points

> Salv: Sick Fires! Sick Fires EVERYWHERE!

[Whimbrel]

Read ye scroll and get YE SLINKY!

[Torquemadras Trump]

Legend of the Hunter - 28

Gwyddi> HAVE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE!!1!!!

Bwahaha
I'm telling you he was standing right there
bawling his fuckin eyes out
and I yell at him godammit bro
I can't save your sorry ass ALL THE TIME
MAN UP
You better believe it ladies
What're these people so festive 'bout, anyway

An explanation is given, in between giggles of varying volume.

Some guy's marriage
Mighty important fella he is, then
Well, but an EXORCIST like me can't worry about stuff like that

Gwiddy: WHEEEEEEEEEEEE PUNCHING THINGS. AAAAAAAAND Oh hey a female. Time for the CHARM.

Wanna bet I can ruin that guitarist's day in five seconds flat?
You will love this, ladies
TIME FOR THE CHARM



And then, it was TIME FOR THE CHARM.

Hey what the hell
What're you doing lady get the fuck in line
I understand you're impatient and all but- HEY GODDAMMIT STAY HERE
Sneak-sniffing is just downright impolite, lady



I think
I really do think
I think I was just sneak-sniffed by a crazy hobo ninja woman
Do I...
Do I smell funny, Mr. Twiddlefeet?
Be honest

But the strange, crazed-looking woman doesn't look back. If you were here - which you are, in fact, NOT - you would have seen an expression of utmost determination on her face. The expression of a HUNTER THAT HAS SMELLED BLOOD. This hunter has taken note of a particular smell clinging to your brother, a smell that might lead RIGHT TO HER PREY.

>Brood over tomes. Anything that looks helpful?

>What do you already know about demons anyway?

But enough about Gwydian's IRRELEVANT SHENANIGANS.



You leaf through the book ON DEMONS, a somewhat comprehensive guide through the world of the destroyers from beyond. Most of it is already known to you...

ON DEMONS: A COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE TO THE BEYOND

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DEMONS ARE CREATURES BORN FROM MANKIND'S EVIL. The mighty Demon Lords craft the souls of the wicked into bloodthirsty shades, more mindless automaton than actual living being. They live only to destroy and devour ALL THAT IS ALIVE.

But these SOUL CLOCKWORKS also gain a vulnerability to the magic arts, given to humans by the HEAVENLY PROTECTORS. Failing that, the only way to truly hurt, and ultimately destroy them is THEIR OWN DEMONIC POWER. There are ways to enchant weapons and let magical destruction rain from the sky, but one would have to be TRULY CRAZY to try and gain demonic power for yourself.[/QUOTE]

Truly and utterly crazy... yeah.

> Go find Ava. She said no one's actually seen the demon, but people have seen what it left behind. Ask her what she meant by that. It's the only lead you've got right now.

> Look into finding some kind of healer or doctor. If you're going up against a demon that deals in pestilence, you'll need someone who can cure sicknesses.

...you should prepare yourself for that decay demon. Surely, it's still far away. You would have noticed otherwise. But when dealing with decay - especially when you DON'T KNOW JACK ABOUT WARDS - some way of countering the poison should be your first priority.

> "Heir" Take that Alchemy Book. Take it. It beckons you.
Okay, you take that Hardcore Spellzbook too. Take up Magicool Dude points

Read ye scroll and get YE SLINKY!

You call for Ava, and indeed, she was just in hearing range. WHAT A COINCIDENCE. Since you are prone to fits of SMUGNESS, you calmly prepare for a nice cup of coffee after snatching more stuff. Those books should provide some ENLIGHTENING READING on your search for a good healer. You always wanted to now which hardcore spellz the wicked weavers of magic and style smack around.

You can't really explain why you take the SLINKY, though.

Ava> Acquire a pair of sunglasses for Seb.

Yes? I, uh, I heard you calling, mister exorcist!
Do you want to make some preparations?
Erm, I have your... OFFICIAL Videgotto sunglasses, too.
Yes. That's definitely a thing that exists, Mr. Slick. Local custom.

You ask the dragon maiden about any healers you might recruit. Ava is happy to recommend you some candidats - but the general might get impatient, so you can probably ONLY VISIT ONE OF THEM. In this city, you might reach:

THE MURDERING MENDERS
SAINT HOWITZER'S REMEDY SQUAD
EMISSARIES OF LIFE AND DEATH (They, uh, do healing as a side job, I think.)

I'm surprised we didn't find any waist-high fences which are impossible to jump over, really.

> Seb: Acquire Coffee is Life mug.

You ask Ava what the hell is wrong with healers around here.

Also, why your coffee is apparently CHANNELING THE DARK DIMENSION'S ENERGY.

==>

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Super secret command for the FUTURE!!!

> Dragon Guards: Secretly calculate the damages for everything Salvadore breaks and charge them to Hieronymus's tab (which he does not even know he has).

This will not be forgotten!

[Rolf Kopter]

> Gwiddy: having a random woman sniff you for no reason has ruined your day. Go ruin hers, as payback.

> Seb: Ask Ava if the SAINT HOWITZER'S REMEDY SQUAD sports a cannon for means of administering potions. If not, the EMISSARIES OF LIFE AND DEATH would probably be the best choice, as they might be more useful than your average healer. Then, have a sip of the coffee. If it is CHANNELING THE DARK DIMENSION'S ENERGY, what could possibly go wrong?

[siguard]

"Salavador">that woman was being even more rude than you are, you cannot let this insult stand! your pride as a JEERING THUG demands that you be the rudest jerk in the city at all times. the gauntlet has been thrown, let the duel commence.
"Heirnoymus"> I'd go with the Emissaries, they'd probably know the most about poison and disease which is what your gonna have to deal with.

[TobiasMoon]

> Gwiddy - hear the word Howitzer, think: AWSOME A CANNON I SHOULD TOTALLY GRAB IT AND WHAK PEOPLE WITH IT