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Thread: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVI: It's Not a Melee... It's a Brawl!

  1. #1
    Vulcan Renegade Captain Whosit's Avatar
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    TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVI: It's Not a Melee... It's a Brawl!

    I hope someone gets the reference.

    Welcome the Trollslum Café!

    Our Guiding Principle: We are all fans of Homestuck in general, and of the trolls in particular. We like to make fantrolls, and if we like to make fantrolls, we love to roleplay them. And so, once upon a time, this thread was created as a place to bring new, undeveloped trolls so that players could flesh them out while interacting with other characters. The primary purpose of the Café is to provide a vague social setting in which characters can meet, mingle, and talk. It is a good way to get introduced to other characters that you can then troll on trollian/pesterchum, or get involved with in a more specific RP. It can also be a decent place to hang out.

    Below are some rules that I would like you to follow when you are posting in the Café. Please read them carefully, whether you are new or old to the Café!

    1: Characters and Setting

    The Café is located somewhere on Alternia. Where exactly? Who knows, and it doesn’t really matter. Keep in mind that this place is located on Alternia (the troll homeworld which is populated by the troll young) when you are developing a character for the Café. Aliens, freaks, and mutants will not last long on Alternia! (If I did not make this clear: No humans, freaks, abominations, or crazy mutants!) Also note that adults are not allowed in the Cafe. For the purposes of this fandom, a troll is an "adult" when they are 10 sweeps or older. Remember that there was an Imperial decree that banished all adults from the homeworld. No exceptions.

    The Cafe is also set outside any sort of Sgrub or S***b continuity. No troll should know about the game, Skaia, the moons, meteors, or humans. Save that for an actual session roleplay.

    Notice to newer players!: I highly encourage you to post a profile in the trollslum thread or in the new critique thread before starting your roleplaying experience in the Cafe. Getting some feedback on your character before you start playing them can help you make an even better character and avoid some common pitfalls newer players make!

    2: Joining the Café

    How do you join? Just post! There are no pre-requisites and no screening (for better or for worse). Just jump in, find someone who isn’t already in a scene, and start a conversation.

    3: Posting in the Café

    A few guidelines for how to post here:

    *It is generally helpful if you clearly indicate which character you are speaking to if you are initiating a conversation.

    *You can quote a previous post to enhance the clarity of your response, but please spoiler images, and do not post quote pyramids. You can be infracted for this.

    *Indicate OOC conversation by double paranthesis (()), or double brackets [[]] if you prefer, or by some other method that clearly indicates you are speaking OOC.

    *Do not post only OOC chatter. Go to the Trollslum GenChat for that.

    4: Joining a Conversation

    Before you have your character wander up to someone and start chatting, check to see if the other character is already talking, and to whom. Sometimes two characters are having a light chat and you may be able to get away with approaching them. Other times, they may be having a serious discussion and would not appreciate the intrusion. Like real-life, think carefully before you walk up to someone and interrupt them, and if they ignore you or tell you to go away, respect that!

    5: Fights
    Fights are going to need a list of rules all its own. This may very well be one of the most important sections, so please read it carefully!

    1) Avoid fights whenever possible! If there are any other viable options for your character besides “pull out a weapon,” do that instead! Yes, I’m sure you want to show off how “badass” your character is, but ultimately getting in a fight is just going to make you look silly and probably like kind of a jerk. Yes, you may be thinking that “trolls are violent pricks,” but remember that the primary purpose of the Café is to develop your character, and fights are not the best way to do that. This doesn't mean that you can't play a mean, provocative character, just know your limits!

    2) If you must engage in a fight, please contact the other player(s) by PM or your preferred chat client to try and work things out before you both start throwing posts at each other. If you have an end result you are working towards, it is less likely that your fight will completely devolve into a “show them up” contest.

    3) Follow proper etiquette! What do I mean? If you do end up in a fight, the way you describe your character acting is what may separate you from a God Moder and someone with class. Here are some dos and don’ts:

    ”I cut your character’s arm off with my sword.” Very bad! If you do something like this, you are inflicting an injury on another character without giving them a chance to respond or avoid. Basically, you’re an asshole.

    “I shoot your character in the face.” Bad. It is worded in such a way that it suggests the blow already landed.

    “I aim at your character’s face and fire.” Probably the best you can do. It explains your action and gives the other player an opportunity to dodge the attack, or not, as they wish.

    4) Don’t get involved in someone else’s fight! Unless your troll is good friends with one of the participants, it doesn’t make sense for them to get involved in someone else’s battle. On the whole, trolls are not very charitable. Group fights are just a mess and a bad idea.

    5) Don’t fight at all if you can help it! Yes, this rule warrants repeating. It is entirely possible to play a mean, jackass character without provoking a fight every time you talk to someone. BE THE BIGGER MAN (OR WOMAN)! If it looks like you’re going to start a fight, back off! Contrary to what you might think, you’ll earn more respect from your peers than if you start trying to beat the other character up.

    6: Romance

    Trolls have quadrants. Romance is gonna happen. Now, it’s not my place to tell you how to live your love (or hate) lives. However, I ask that you all keep things clean. If your characters are going to go beyond snuggling and smooching, take it to PMs, an IRC, or a private chat. I’m trying to run a respectable establishment, here.

    Addendum:
    Due to events both past and present, I am revising the rules on what should and should not be posted in the Cafe thread regarding romantic matters. Please remember that this Cafe is a public space. Think about what a person might or might not do in public: Hand holding, a light kiss, maybe a brief makeout if the couple is feeling rowdy. Trolls would not go the the Cafe solely for the purpose of making out with their significant other(s). Would you go to a restaurant or other public venue just to start eating face with someone else? If the answer is "yes," you kind of have a problem.

    Also note that, according to this log, trolls are a bit shy about their flushed feelings. Yes, it's Nepeta's perspective, but also note that Karkat has been shy about his relationship with Terezi, as well. This is the canon we have to refer to.

    So, practically speaking, what does this mean? I'll tell you.

    *If you bring a character in solely to grab a booth and make-out, I will tell you to leave. You can do that over Private Messages, Pesterchum, Typewith.me, or anything else.

    *If any spontaneous make-outs that do crop up go on for more than a few posts, I will tell you to stop.

    *Any kind of fondling, groping, lewd, sexual, or otherwise questionable behavior is expressly forbidden. We don't want to see it. Take it elsewhere. This also includes excessively detailed descriptions of a make-out.

    Don't get me wrong. I fully understand that romance is a fun part of RP in general, and trollplay in particular. Yet it is also important to consider the context of where this is happening, and the Cafe thread is also supposed to be for character development. "But Whosit! This romantic relationship is development for my character!" you might say. Well, yes. How a relationship grows and develops is very important to development. Sloppy make-outs, however, do not really develop anything. They are just sloppy.

    7: Problems

    Gotta face facts: Problems are gonna crop up. Maybe it’s another player, maybe a fight broke out and someone is god moding, maybe someone decided that it would be awesome to bring in the rainbow-drinker rainbowblood who’s gonna be the next empress and who is secretly the lover of all the canon trolls. All of them. If you have a problem with someone, contact them. Privately and politely. It is not good to make a scene in public. If you are particularly adverse to conflict, you can contact me and I’ll see what I can do.

    Likewise, if I see something I think is a problem, I will PM you and try to straighten things out to everyone’s benefit. Note that I will ask you to withdraw or revise a character if I think they will remain problematic as they are. I want everyone to have fun, but I also believe that the fun of the many outweighs the fun of the few.

    8: Rules Change

    I reserve the right to change or revise these rules at any time with or without notification. So remember to check back occasionally to refresh yourself!

    9: Fun

    Have fun!

    Or else!

    Also, be polite, kids!

    FAQ
    (Okay, I don't really get many questions, but this seemed like the best label for this section.)

    Q: What if I want to roleplay something that isn't allowed in the Cafe?

    A: There are several other mediums for roleplaying: Instant messengers, including the fan-made Pesterchum client; typewith.me or sync.in collaborative documents; private messages. In theory, after characters meet in the Cafe, they can continue roleplaying elsewhere.

    Archives

    Read my, and PrussianMoose's, webcomic: The Adventures of the Great Captain Maggie!

    Quotes from the ancient times:

  2. #2
    impromptutations Steev's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVI: It's Not a Melee... It's a Brawl!


    Doulos can tell that Estera's nearly here. His sniffer detects her presence just outside the cafe. He gets another ice water to get himself perked up for her arrival.

    He's glad that fight worked out fairly peacefully, he would have hated to have to intervene in a brawl that big. That was just way too many people for him to shoot them all effectively!

    >>> It wøuld have been a huge waste øf gøød arrøws.

  3. #3
    Witch of Touch conspicuouslyKalopsic's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVI: It's Not a Melee... It's a Brawl!



    Aequa's smile widens a bit.

    Y< 3s I do. I hav< 3n't s< 33n him in a whil< 3.
    I was hoping w< 3 might catch up.


    She hesitates, then continues.

    Hav< 3 you got a sprit? Not to pry, of cours< 3.
    > View user's signature.

  4. #4
    apatheticDaydreamer's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVI: It's Not a Melee... It's a Brawl!


    Nanara continues to laugh at Fexxos being drunk and continues writing.
    It's not like she can leave a drunken Fex by himself.
    Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.


  5. #5
    he a dawg hesperMonarch's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVI: It's Not a Melee... It's a Brawl!

    ((HAA HAA HEE HEE HOO HOO ...Oh god it was gullible of me to think that privacy still exists in the Internet, wasn't it? //off to update wiki. Also as a side note, Stemfa is still dead in her mind, so her showing up would be an unnecessary source of endless drama.))
    You keep staring at him.


    My Sincere Apologies for any rude Behaviour I might have shown.
    It is a.
    Weird thing to Admit but.
    ...
    Actually never mind.
    How was your day.


    Yes, it's hard thing to admit that you have a past of hate-flirting. But it's not your fault.
    You're merely stating facts, not flirting.

  6. #6
    Welcome to the propane game Overlard's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVI: It's Not a Melee... It's a Brawl!



    NOTICE: Yeah, it's a good thing I do. They say you never work a night in your life if you enjoy your work! Which is total chargebeast, sometimes it gets pretty tiring. :DUE

    As mentioned before.

    Tons of stories.

    She has them.

    Workin' is for yella-bellies
    Hilariously out of context quotes.

  7. #7
    Here for Hawky and Katt Suds McFuddle's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVI: It's Not a Melee... It's a Brawl!



    Hehe, @lright.

    Vil takes his guitar, which suddenly appeared some time ago, and starts to play this.
    Yeah

  8. #8
    Vulcan Renegade Captain Whosit's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVI: It's Not a Melee... It's a Brawl!



    =|==> Yeah...? She pauses. Wait, was she supposed to elaborate? =|==> How 5o? Doe5 1t get o1d do1ng the 5ame th1ng?

    Altaia orders another drink in case this is gonna be the start of long story time.
    Read my, and PrussianMoose's, webcomic: The Adventures of the Great Captain Maggie!

    Quotes from the ancient times:

  9. #9
    }:o) Weeaboo's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVI: It's Not a Melee... It's a Brawl!



    I do got one. Honk~
    Ever heard of Nepite? Honk~

  10. #10
    apatheticDaydreamer's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVI: It's Not a Melee... It's a Brawl!

    Nanara absconds after noticing the time. She has few orders to sculpt.

    ((Gotta go :I.))
    Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.


  11. #11
    Cobaltergeist King Cobalt's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVI: It's Not a Melee... It's a Brawl!

    ((I think I might have found that page by accident. Or maybe I checked your signature for a profile link and felt like checking somewhere else when I didn't find one.))



    (~Well, my night started ok, but then my lusus disappeared and I spent most of the evening looking for him.~) (~I was tired by the time I found him, so I decided to come here instead of making something back at my hive.~)

    If being formal bothers him and being non-formal bothers her, how are they able to keep holding a conversation?

  12. #12
    Witch of Touch conspicuouslyKalopsic's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVI: It's Not a Melee... It's a Brawl!



    Oh r< 3ally? That's gr< 3at!

    A glimmer of recognition passes Aequa's face as she considers.

    Y< 3s I b< 3li< 3v< 3 I hav< 3!

    If it's the same troll she's thinking of, she also once saved Aequa from highblood harm...
    > View user's signature.

  13. #13
    Welcome to the propane game Overlard's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVI: It's Not a Melee... It's a Brawl!



    story time indeed.

    NOTICE: Oh? No, no. It's just that sometimes some trolls stubbornly refuse to give up their stuff. Or die. It's annoying. :DUE

    She takes a swig and orders a new drink.

    NOTICE: Like this green blood, jerk wasn't paying up for his new refrigerator, so I got called up to take it back. We argued for so freaking long. Eventually I just moved to gut him. This would be about the time he brought his own weapon, a freaking sledgehammer, and nearly knocked my head from my shoulders. :DUE

    She cringes and rubs her neck a bit. Lotta close calls with that one.

    NOTICE: I had to freaking dance around inside his swing. Have you ever tried to do that? It's very, very tiring. Eventually I managed to wear him down so he fell over. And then his lusus showed up. I've never snatched up a 'fridge and ran faster in my life! :DUE

    Workin' is for yella-bellies
    Hilariously out of context quotes.

  14. #14
    }:o) Weeaboo's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVI: It's Not a Melee... It's a Brawl!



    Before anythin gets awkward, tell me about the Nepite ya know. Honk~

  15. #15

    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVI: It's Not a Melee... It's a Brawl!


    Uh-oh you let one slip out didn't you? Well its apart of your quirk so there's no hiding that forever.
    Yehehs. Didn't knohohow you knehehw about us or should I sahay thehem. I used to behehe oneheh. Sort of still ahahahm buhuhut I'vehe comehe to realizeheh it wahasn't entirly for meheh...The lifeheh styleheh I mehehan.
    ((Reposting for courtesy))

  16. #16
    Trollslum Cafe Regular Tekkenfreak4's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVI: It's Not a Melee... It's a Brawl!



    Hmm, 7ha7's no7 7oo bad. Reminds me of 7roll 7ony Hawk's Pro Ska7er. Haha! I have ano7her song you migh7 like. I7 is in 7he video game 7roll Blur.

    You flip your switch again and play this song. Again, you bob your head to the beat.
    OOC / Self insert FanHuman's Handle: acidReign
    My main blog
    Avatar by TheNeonWerewolf


  17. #17
    he a dawg hesperMonarch's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVI: It's Not a Melee... It's a Brawl!

    ((Hahaha I kid. I'm currently working on an updated Profile. That one was embarrassing.))
    Because it's fate, of course. Or not really, you just unconsciously enjoy talking to people you don't get along with.
    Which is one of the many reasons you've been called a hate-flirt.


    Oh really.
    Well I am sure you should not worry.
    My Lusus disappears Practically all the Time.
    It is a bit vexing.

  18. #18
    Vulcan Renegade Captain Whosit's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVI: It's Not a Melee... It's a Brawl!



    Wow, that's some story. Must be inconvenient wielding only a dagger when your opponents could pull out much heavier weaponry. Altaia had moved on to her third drink without really realizing it.

    =|==> Wow, 5ound5 rough... 5o your 5ay1n' that one ju5t fe11 over t1red? You d1dn't cu11 h1m?

    =|==> 1 f1gure 1 wou1dn't have had much troub1e.... 1 11ke to u5e b1g 5word5, 5o 1 never get out-ranged...

    =|==> Un1e55 they u5e gun5... 1ame!!
    Man, does Altaia hate guns. Only cowards and weaklings use those. The fact that they're much more practical in a fight compared to melee weapons doesn't matter to her one bit.
    Read my, and PrussianMoose's, webcomic: The Adventures of the Great Captain Maggie!

    Quotes from the ancient times:

  19. #19
    Witch of Touch conspicuouslyKalopsic's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVI: It's Not a Melee... It's a Brawl!



    W< 3ll I only m< 3t h< 3r onc< 3.
    Sh< 3 was a subjugglator. Sh< 3 was quit< 3 nic< 3 to m< 3.
    > View user's signature.

  20. #20
    Hermit of Heart arbitraryHearts's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVI: It's Not a Melee... It's a Brawl!



    And just as Doulos' sniffer predicted, Estera finally gets around to entering the cafe. She looks worn out, but rather satisfied nonetheless. When she spots Doulos seated at a table by himself, she saunters on over and gives him a half-hug and a shy peck on the cheek before taking a seat across from him.

    "I'm glad ye could be makin' it here t'night, lad. It's really good t' be seein' ye! It feels as though it's been ages since I've last seen ye around."

    Even though this is technically false, but that advertising thing was more of a business meet up then quality matesprit time.

  21. #21
    Welcome to the propane game Overlard's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVI: It's Not a Melee... It's a Brawl!



    NOTICE: Oh, by fell over....I meant he was trying to hold onto his entrails! :DUE

    That....that smirk is kinda creepy.

    NOTICE: Yeah well, at least I can fend off anyone who tries to get in my swing. Plus I can throw some of 'em. Gotta get a special type though, balanced for throwing and such. And guns? Fuck guns, they suck. :DUE

    In her think pan, guns are used by people who lack guts. Figuratively. After she's done, it's literally.

    Workin' is for yella-bellies
    Hilariously out of context quotes.

  22. #22
    }:o) Weeaboo's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVI: It's Not a Melee... It's a Brawl!



    Yeah, that sounds like my sprit all right.... Honk~

  23. #23
    Cobaltergeist King Cobalt's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVI: It's Not a Melee... It's a Brawl!



    (~Yeah, he gets lost every so often.~) (~It's probably just a thing that happens a lot with smaller lusii.~) (~Speaking of which, I should get back to my hive before he wanders off again.~)

  24. #24
    An anime guy Araiss's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVI: It's Not a Melee... It's a Brawl!

    So..he is..or was, a subjugglator? Archai doesn't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.



    Oh...um..., yes um. So..you don't, yes don't want to be a subjugglator anymore? Or..you aren't one anymore, yes? I'm..confused, yes confused.

    He's nervous, but at least he's not freaking out. Milkshake helps with that.
    EB Sprite made by Steev, OOC Handle: imaginitiveNarcoleptic

  25. #25
    Witch of Touch conspicuouslyKalopsic's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVI: It's Not a Melee... It's a Brawl!



    Aequa smiles widely. Then, noticing the time, she realizes she has to be going.

    I r< 3ally must b< 3 g< 3tting hom< 3... thank you again so much for your h< 3lp today.
    I am in your d< 3bt.


    And then (since CK really has to be going) she absconds.
    > View user's signature.

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