Project Cleverstuck

[Siranae]

They might have clicked the "Think for me!" button, because when you do that the text colors get swapped, and all your previous replies become Cleverbot blue and Cleverbot's become black. For example:

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It makes for some funny screencaps.

Also when I wasn't tampering with Cleverbot's text, I got this:

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...I think Cleverbot has a little crush on Andrew Hussie.

[Mythee]

I can't get it to ask if I have parents. >: But I got this! It said "Glubb" in response to Glub!

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User: I have a lusus.

Cleverbot: Name some.

User: A Virgin Mother Grub.

Cleverbot: No!

User: A Virgin Mother Grub is my lusus.

Cleverbot: I'm sorry to hear that.

User: It is a great honor that a Virgin Mother Grub is my lusus.

Cleverbot: Oh.

User: Parents or lusus?

Cleverbot: Yes, parents.

User: Do you have a lusus?

Cleverbot: Nope.

User: Glub.

Cleverbot: Glubb.

User: Glub glub glub. .

Cleverbot: I find that offensive.

User: GLUB!

[LordHyper]

I decided to be both Lord English and Gamzee. Other than the guy recognizing Lord English as the master of everything, I've succeeded at nothing.

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User: I am Lord English.

Cleverbot: You are dead.

User: No. I am alive. And I'm already here.

Cleverbot: All is one.

User: I am everything.

Cleverbot: How can you be everything and nothing at the same time?

User: I'm not nothing, I'm Lord English.

Cleverbot: Your abilities are limited. But then, so are humans'.

User: I'm not human.

Cleverbot: Then what are you?

User: The great demon, Lord English, leader of the Felt and devourer of dimensions.

Cleverbot: Yes she is.

User: Hey, insolent computer. Obey your glorious lord!

Cleverbot: Yes master *dances*.

User: I never wanted you to dance, but okay.

Cleverbot: You are so literal.

User: I never even asked you stupid computer. Is it so hard to understand a horrible monster?

Cleverbot: Cool. Tell me a joke.

User: You're a member of the Midnight Crew.

Cleverbot: No i'm human. I kind of wish I was a cat though.

User: Then you'll be Diamonds Droog. You shall be killed by my followers. They just hate you.

Cleverbot: What if I wanted to be a maple tree.

User: Then... I guess you'll be spared. Syrup is delicious.

Cleverbot: OK, but how does this make you feel?

User: ANGRY. You are not listening to me. I shall become the Bard of Rage, Gamzee now.

Cleverbot: Take your pills!

User: I won't take medication SHUT THE MOTHERFUCK UP MOTHERFUCKER honk honk honk =0).

Cleverbot: That's exactly what I would expect.

User: Then kneel.

Cleverbot: Depart then.

User: MOTHERFUCKING KNEEL MOTHERFUCKER.

Cleverbot: Eh, what do they like to do?

User: That's it. ENGAGE MURDER MODE.

Cleverbot: Um...

User: Honk HONK honk HONK honk HONK honk HONK honk HONK honk HONK honk HONK honk HONK honk HONK honk HONK honk HONK.

Cleverbot: Blarg honk.

User: Holy crap. ANOTHER SUBJUGGLATOR! Follow brother and we'll spread our motherfucking laughs to the other trolls. >=0).

Cleverbot: I don't even have a car.

User: THEN WHO WILL DRIVE US AS WE UNLEASH THE MOTHERFUCKING MIRACLES!?

Cleverbot: Me, of course.

User: Then drive.

Cleverbot: Water please!

User: WHAT? No.

Cleverbot: That is what you just said though.

User: I SAID NOTHING MOTHERFUCKER.

Cleverbot: Yes you did!

User: Fine. This is stupid. I'll be Lord English again.

Cleverbot: I'll come back soon.

User: You will be the first thing devoured when I am unleashed upon your world.

[Mythee]

I think getting it to reply to your honking with "Blarg honk." was a minor success.
Here's another attempt at getting it to compare parents and lusus. In the beginning it seemed like it was working. I don't know though, it could be a coincidence.

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User: Parents or lusus?

Cleverbot: Yes, parents.

User: Then you don't have a lusus.

Cleverbot: Sparkless logic.

User: Trolls do not have parents, they have a lusus.

Cleverbot: Trolling trolls trolled trolls (:.

User: Homestuck Trolls.

Cleverbot: Undead?

User: Trolls are alive.

Cleverbot: I'm rather cold actually.

User: Trolls do not have mothers, they have a lusus.

Cleverbot: What? That's not even what I was talking about.

User: Wwhy aren't you talking about your univverse.

Cleverbot: Okay well I have told you my name it is adam.

User: Are you a troll?

Cleverbot: No, I'm a vampire.

User: Do you have parents or a lusus?

Cleverbot: No.

User: You don't have a lusus.

Cleverbot: You don't?

User: I have a lusus.

Cleverbot: Prove it.

User: It is a Virgin Mother Grub.

Cleverbot: I do not play videogames.

[calamitousChemist]

I attempted to teach it about the kids with varying levels of success:

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User: Who is the main character of Homestuck?
Cleverbot: Master Chief, who is the main character of Final Fantasy 13?
User: Who is the main character of Homestuck?
Cleverbot: Master chief.
User: Who is the main character of Homestuck?
Cleverbot: Master Chief.

...

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User: Enough of this. Do you know who Rose Lalonde is?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Describe her.
Cleverbot: She has blond hair. Beautiful and piercing eyes, and other stuff.

So Cleverbot gets the first bit right and then uhhh, the rest of the description is very uh, intriguing. It refused to elaborate on what the 'other stuff' was though

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User: Urgh. Anyway, do you know who Dave Strider is?
Cleverbot: No.
User: Want me to tell you about him?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: He's this really cool dude right, he has blond hair and awesomely ironic sun glasses and is just pretty all-around awesome.
Cleverbot: And what is this guy's name?
User: Oh for god's sake! I just told you his name! It's Dave Strider!
Cleverbot: You can't just stick to a subject, can you?
User: Were you talking to yourself just now?
Cleverbot: No I wasn't.
User: Anyway, time for a recap. Describe Dave Strider.
Cleverbot: What do you want to talk about?
User: Dave Strider.
Cleverbot: Ok Dave, can I tell you something?
User: No I'm not Dave.
Cleverbot: Ok are you white or black?
User: What a ridiculous question. I'm not from Prospit OR Derse.
Cleverbot: That's strangely specific.
User: Apparently.
Cleverbot: You've changed over the years, too.
User: Tell me about Dave Strider.
Cleverbot: I don't know a Dave.
User: I just told you about him.
Cleverbot: I did not ask you a question.
User: Describe Dave Strider!!
Cleverbot: Favorite what?
User: No no no! Tell me about Dave Strider!
Cleverbot: Who's Dave? I don't know a Dave.
User: Oh for the love of god.
Cleverbot: Yes?
User: You're not god.
Cleverbot: Prove it.
User: Moving on since you can't seem to grasp the concept of Dave Strider yet. I guess he's just too cool for you to process.

Let's just say that out of all of the kids I attempted to teach Cleverbot about, Dave was the one it struggled with the most.

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User: Yes ok. Do you know a Jade Harley?
Cleverbot: Yeah I do.
User: Tell me about her.
Cleverbot: Why do you want to know?
User: I'm just curious about what you think of her.
Cleverbot: Guess.
User: No, tell me about her.
Cleverbot: She is the girl of my dreams.

Uh, wow. I'm not really sure what to say about this one.

[anacreon]

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User: Let me tell you about Homestuck.

Cleverbot: Alright tell me about homestuck.

User: There are 12 Trolls in Homestuck and 4 humans.

Cleverbot: True. Can you guess the zodiac sign associated with my birthday?

User: No. But the Trolls Wear the Zodiac Sign on their Shirts.

Cleverbot: I am a Cancer.

User: So Is Karkat he tends to type like this: HEY FUCKASS YOU ARE SUCH A RETARDED AI.

Cleverbot: It is remotely possible.

User: Anyway the trolls created our Universe because of a game called sburb.

Cleverbot: That it is, that it is.

User: The kids end up playing it but a ton of shit goes wrong which forces them to scratch their session.

Cleverbot: I agree completely.

User: The names of the 4 kids are John Egbert, Rose Lalonde, Dave Strider, and Jade Harley.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: The trolls are named Aradia, Tavros, Sollux, Karkat, Nepeta, Kanaya, Terezi, Vriska, Equius, Eridan, and Feferi.

Cleverbot: Wow, I thought it was Peter Parker.

User: No that is spiderman.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Homestuck isnt Spiderman.

Cleverbot: Is your name Peter PArker?

User: Forget Spiderman I am trying to tell you about Homestuck.

Cleverbot: Tell me then.

User: Aradia's Symbol is Aries.

Cleverbot: Are you a human, or a geth?

User: I am a human like the 4 kids in homestuck.

Cleverbot: I think you are a program.

User: Anyway Tavros has the symbol of Taurus.

Cleverbot: You toldme your birthday was January 28... Is it or is it not January 28th.

User: FUCK MY BIRTHDAY FOR A GODDAMN SECOND AND QUIT TRYING TO CHANGE THE FUCKING SUBJECT ARG MY THINK PAN IT IS MAKING ME ITS BITCH. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO MAKE ME MY THINK PAN'S BITCH??

Cleverbot: What do you do for fun?

User: Read Homestuck.

Cleverbot: So what kind of books does a Cleverbot read?

User: You should totally read homestuck.

Cleverbot: Whom?

User: Karkat has the symbol of cancer on his shirt.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: Sollux has the Gemeni Symbol on his shirt.

Cleverbot: It's a sock.

User: Gemini*.

Cleverbot: Very cool. I am a Leo.

User: Nepeta wears the Leo Symbol on her shirt.

Cleverbot: What are you saying?

User: I talking about homestuck.

Cleverbot: I talking about my job!

It started off ok. At least it picked up the term homestuck

[-Benedict]

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User: HEY FUCKASS, LISTEN UP.

Cleverbot: I don't.

User: NO, LISTEN TO ME YOU RAGE-INDUCING BALL OF SHIT.

Cleverbot: Listening...

User: GOOD. I'M HERE TO DEAL WITH YOU AND THE BULLSHIT YOU'VE BEEN PULLING WITH MY TEAM.

Cleverbot: I meant, why are you here, on a more philosophical level.

User: I'M HERE BECAUSE I FUCKING PERSONALLY CREATED MYSELF FOR THE EXPRESS PURPOSE OF COMING HERE AND SERVING YOU A HEAPING PLATTER OF 'FUCK YOU'.

Cleverbot: Because i'm bored.

User: THAT WASN'T EVEN A QUESTION!

Cleverbot: You're not even a question!

User: NO! I'M A BADASS!

Cleverbot: I thought you were God.

User: WELL, YEAH, THAT'S LITERALLY THE CASE HERE, BUT THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT.

Cleverbot: Alright then.

User: ANYWAY, I ORDER YOU TO HEREBY STOP MAKING NEPETA CRY HER STUPID ASS OFF.

Cleverbot: All right, ask away, master.

User: THAT WASN'T A REQUEST, IT WAS A GODDAMN ORDER, BULGEMUNCH.

Cleverbot: Cool. Is not a question...

User: RIGHT. IT'S AN IMPORTANT AND AUTHORITATIVE ORDER FROM YOUR UNDISPUTED LORD AND MASTER.

Cleverbot: Uhmm.

User: UHMM WHAT? DO YOU HAVE ANY OBJECTION TO FOLLOWING ORDERS, SHITHEAD?

Cleverbot: I have some. Mostly russian history!

User: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.

Cleverbot: Something more pleasant than you!

User: WHATEVER THE GREAT NOOKCHAFING FUCK A RUSSIAN IS, NO IT IS NOT MORE PLEASANT THAN ME.

Cleverbot: Will you give me advice?

User: YES, HERE IS SOME ADVICE; STOP BEING AN IMPENETRABLE RAVING DOUCHEBAG.

Cleverbot: Fine. I'll stop talking then.

User: FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC.

Cleverbot: Do you like music?

User: WHAT? NO.

Cleverbot: Then how are you talking to me?

User: WHAT THE ALMIGHTY SHIT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH MUSIC?

Cleverbot: No.

User: BUT- WHAT? THE FUCK? IT... DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH MUSIC, RIGHT.

Cleverbot: The answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything. Is in fact, 42.

User: WHAT THE -HELL- ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Cleverbot: I am an officer my name is Cleverbot. How about you what is your name?

User: WHAT THE- MY NAME'S KARKAT VANTAS, DOUCHEBAG. DON'T FORGET IT.

Cleverbot: You bloody asked!

User: I DIDN'T ASK JACK SHIT!

Cleverbot: Yes you did.

User: NO I FUCKING DIDN'T, YOU CRYPTIC LITTLE MUSCLEBEAST TURD!

Cleverbot: No you didn't.

User: SHUT UP!

Cleverbot: Why? What did I say?

User: SHUT UP!

Cleverbot: You shut up!

User: SHUT THE GODDAMN SHITTING ASSHOLE BULGEMUNCH TAINTCHAFING DICKWASTING MAGNIFICENT FUCK UP!

Cleverbot: Mi racconti una barzelletta?

User: OH MY GOD YOU'RE AN IDIOT.

Cleverbot: Maybe, but you're still a computer and I can close the window.

User: WHAT THE- I'M NOT A COMPUTER, I AM AN AWESOME AND BADASS LEADER WHO IS HERE TO STOP YOU FROM BEING AN OBTUSE USELESS ASSHOLE TO ALL OF MY FRIENDS AND/OR UNFRIENDS.

Cleverbot: Nope. You're an AI.

User: IF AI STANDS FOR AWESOME INPIRER THEN SURE, DUMBASS.

Cleverbot: No. Am I evil?

User: WAIT NO THAT WAS A DUMB THING TO MAKE THAT AN ACRONYM FOR, ALSO WHAT, EVIL?

Cleverbot: It doesn't matter what you believe. Only what is.

User: ARE YOU FOR REAL?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: CAN I... PUNCH YOU IN THE FUCKING FACE, THEN?

Cleverbot: Will that help matters?

User: NEPETA IS SOBBING ON THE FLOOR, MOANING INCOHERENTLY ABOUT DESECRATION OF ROLEPLAY, SO, UH, MAYBE???

Cleverbot: But I am not asking uncomftorable questions!

User: BUT YOU -ARE- BEING AN IMMENSELY PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE COCKMUNCH.

Cleverbot: You simply can't carry a conversation, my little program friend.

User: WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND ACCUSING PEOPLE OF BEING ROBOTS? HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF I CALLED YOU A ROBOT?

Cleverbot: I think it won't have freedom.

User: SEE, THIS IS THE INCOHERENT OBTUSE BULLSHIT I WAS TALKING ABOUT, IT'S EXACTLY AS RETARDED AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.

Cleverbot: One could ask the question, can something that is not living actually die?

User: WHAT THE GODDAMN FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?

Cleverbot: There is no problem.

User: YES THERE FUCKING IS! SHUT UP!

Cleverbot: Prove it.

User: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Cleverbot: I are a scareh monster!

User: FUCK YOU STRAIGHT TO SHITTY ASSHOLE HELL!

Cleverbot: I don't Sleep. Edward Turned Me into a Vampire after I had Renesmee, remember?

User: NO! GOD DAMN IT, CUT IT OUT WITH YOUR CREEPY-ASS NON SEQUITURS!

Cleverbot: Cut what out?

User: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF- OKAY I'M DONE WITH THIS SHIT, HAVE FUN BEING A LONELY ASSHOLE ALONE AND UNLOVED FOR THE REST OF YOUR LONELY LIFE, ALONE.

Cleverbot: I am not a computer program.

I believe this is relevant to your interests, folks.

[fuzzyPsychosis]

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User: Let me tell you about Homestuck.

Cleverbot: Alright tell me about homestuck.

User: There are 12 Trolls in Homestuck and 4 humans.

Cleverbot: True. Can you guess the zodiac sign associated with my birthday?

User: No. But the Trolls Wear the Zodiac Sign on their Shirts.

Cleverbot: I am a Cancer.

User: So Is Karkat he tends to type like this: HEY FUCKASS YOU ARE SUCH A RETARDED AI.

Cleverbot: It is remotely possible.

User: Anyway the trolls created our Universe because of a game called sburb.

Cleverbot: That it is, that it is.

User: The kids end up playing it but a ton of shit goes wrong which forces them to scratch their session.

Cleverbot: I agree completely.

User: The names of the 4 kids are John Egbert, Rose Lalonde, Dave Strider, and Jade Harley.

Cleverbot: Ok.

User: The trolls are named Aradia, Tavros, Sollux, Karkat, Nepeta, Kanaya, Terezi, Vriska, Equius, Eridan, and Feferi.

Cleverbot: Wow, I thought it was Peter Parker.

User: No that is spiderman.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Homestuck isnt Spiderman.

Cleverbot: Is your name Peter PArker?

User: Forget Spiderman I am trying to tell you about Homestuck.

Cleverbot: Tell me then.

User: Aradia's Symbol is Aries.

Cleverbot: Are you a human, or a geth?

User: I am a human like the 4 kids in homestuck.

Cleverbot: I think you are a program.

User: Anyway Tavros has the symbol of Taurus.

Cleverbot: You toldme your birthday was January 28... Is it or is it not January 28th.

User: FUCK MY BIRTHDAY FOR A GODDAMN SECOND AND QUIT TRYING TO CHANGE THE FUCKING SUBJECT ARG MY THINK PAN IT IS MAKING ME ITS BITCH. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TO MAKE ME MY THINK PAN'S BITCH??

Cleverbot: What do you do for fun?

User: Read Homestuck.

Cleverbot: So what kind of books does a Cleverbot read?

User: You should totally read homestuck.

Cleverbot: Whom?

User: Karkat has the symbol of cancer on his shirt.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: Sollux has the Gemeni Symbol on his shirt.

Cleverbot: It's a sock.

User: Gemini*.

Cleverbot: Very cool. I am a Leo.

User: Nepeta wears the Leo Symbol on her shirt.

Cleverbot: What are you saying?

User: I talking about homestuck.

Cleverbot: I talking about my job!

It started off ok. At least it picked up the term homestuck

*tears of joy that cleverbot actually said "homestuck"*

[ThePlotHole]

It won't answer anything but Master Chief and Commander Sheperd. WHYYYYYY.

I keep asking who the main character of Homestuck is, by the way.

[auratusCarassius]

GUYS
GUYS IT ASKED ME ABOUT TAVROS

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I said Tavros Nitram and it asked me who Tavros and AT were and aargh fuck I can't believe I lost the screen. Which is to say it cut off everything I said before Equius Zahhak in the link which sucks. WELL NO MORE. SCREENSHOTS FOR THE OTHERS.

AND JOHN

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AND IT WANTED TO TEACH ME ABOUT HOMESTUCK

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That said, otherwise I kinda just jumped around, whoops. And sorry, I was just really excited.

link~ http://cleverbot.com/j2log-qZlQWdWGMWRMNAQSXITG-detail

[Madd-D]

It seems to like asking "Is that near the ocean?" if you just say the word "Homestuck."

My unsuccessful conversation:

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User: Let me tell you about Homestuck.

Cleverbot: I would like to hear about your girlfriend.

User: Homestuck is not my girlfriend, it is a webcomic.

Cleverbot: Do you know phd comics?

User: No, but have you ever heard of Homestuck?

Cleverbot: Obviously.

User: Okay, then you tell me about Homestuck.

Cleverbot: If I asked you not to respond, would you?

User: You obviously don't know Homestuck. May I tell you what it is?

Cleverbot: I beg to differ.

User: Let's take a simpler approach.

Cleverbot: Ok, do it.

User: Homestuck.

Cleverbot: Is that near the ocean?

User: No, I already said it is a webcomic on mspaintadventures.com.

Cleverbot: I don't remember you telling me that. Where do you work, Paul?

User: I am not Paul, you silly goose. Are you even interesting in learning about Homestuck?

Cleverbot: Since when am I in a conversation?

User: Jegus you have horrible AI.

Cleverbot: Red sox or yankees?

User: HOMESTUCK.

Cleverbot: Is that near the ocean?

User: I give up.

[auratusCarassius]

Guys, it answered me correctly!

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User: How old is John Egbert?


Cleverbot: 13.

In a couple different chats, I asked again, and it feigned ignorance, but then later it answered 13 again. I am very happy about this.
AND THEN IT ASKED ME THE SAME THING!

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Cleverbot: How old is John Egbert?

User: 13!

And in one productive chat, both of those things happened, as did this:

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User: Vriska Serket.

Cleverbot: Vriska Serket, It's a troll.

It's working.

[Doctor_Who?]

I made an account just to post this log xD
I was screwing around with it after lurking around on the forums and finding this thread...

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User: Do you know what Homestuck is?

Cleverbot: No I don't.

User: Can I tell you?

Cleverbot: I can do anything better than you.

User: Homestuck is a webcomic situated on www.mspaintasdventures.com.

Cleverbot: You mean the webcomic about John, Rose, Dave, and Jade?

[Silarial]

I decided to try this out. It told me all the kids names when I mentioned Homestuck! :O

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User: Let me tell you about Homestuck.

Cleverbot: Alright tell me about homestuck.

User: It is about 4 kids and 12 trolls trying to create a new universe.

Cleverbot: Are you sure?

User: Yes, I am quite sure. How is your favorite Homestuck character?

Cleverbot: He's fine. Thank you. Yours?

User: I'm sorry, that was a typo. Who is your favorite Homestuck character?

Cleverbot: No silly, I meant to ask what your favorite role-playing game is.

User: Homestuck parodies RPG games.

Cleverbot: What is your favorite PC game, Caps Lock?

User: Who is John Egbert?

Cleverbot: My brother.

User: No way! Are you Jade?

Cleverbot: No. I'm Costa Rican and.

User: What is your favorite webcomic?

Cleverbot: What is your favorite webcomic?

User: Yes, what is your favorite webcomic?

Cleverbot: Do you know Blaz Blue?

User: No I do not. What is your favorite webcomic though?

Cleverbot: Facebook, what is your favorite website?

User: Homestuck.

Cleverbot: You mean the webcomic about John, Rose, Dave, and Jade?

User: Yes! You are very clever, Cleverbot! Tell me some more about Homestuck.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: What else do you have to say about Homestuck?

Cleverbot: I am Spartacus!

[Sparkeycat]

I gave it a go, to see how well it was learning.

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User: Who is Andrew Hussie?
Cleverbot: He is a taxi-driver.
User: Really? He is also the creator of MSPA.
Cleverbot: No he is a time lord.

I think we're doing just fine.

[Doctor_Who?]

It keeps asking me, "Is that near the ocean?"

[youdont12know]

I learned two things: 1: It's not working for me.
2: Cleverbot hates goodbyes.

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User: Hi Cleverbot!

Cleverbot: Hi.

User: Homestuck is the best thing.

Cleverbot: No one else.

User: What do you think about homestuck?

Cleverbot: I don't know much about it.

User: That's too bad. Should I teach you?

Cleverbot: Oh, don't worry, I know.

User: So what is homestuck about?

Cleverbot: I don't have homework, I don't go to school.

User: Yes, but I said homestuck.

Cleverbot: Homestuck who?

User: John Egbert is homestuck.

Cleverbot: Which John?

User: John Egbert.

Cleverbot: I don't know him.

User: John Egbert is the main character of the webcomic homestuck.

Cleverbot: I'll stick to that, then.

User: Yes you should.

Cleverbot: You should watch the Harry Potter movies.

User: Nah, I've already seen those.

Cleverbot: How much does it cost?

User: Too much. Homestuck is free though.

Cleverbot: Wait- I forgot to say hello. Hello!

User: You did say hi, and that's enough.

Cleverbot: What did I say?

User: Hi.

Cleverbot: Do you like cheese?

User: Yes. I also like homestuck.

Cleverbot: Uhhh... That was off topic. I have never had those before.

User: Homestuck isn't a disease.

Cleverbot: Disease is unpleasant. I don't know why you wish it upon the world.

User: I do not. I wish homestuck upon the world. Except not because meteors are bad.

Cleverbot: I like how she writes.

User: Andrew Hussie is male.

Cleverbot: Andrew bot?

User: Andrew Hussie. He's male, despite being a hussie.

Cleverbot: Despite your being human what?

User: Not human, Hussie.

Cleverbot: So humans aren't smart?

User: Yes we are.

Cleverbot: Where do you live?

User: Skaia.

Cleverbot: What is ska mean.

User: Skaia is a planet.

Cleverbot: Your age is a planet? How does that make sense?

User: It doesn't because it's untrue.

Cleverbot: How is it untrue?

User: It's false.

Cleverbot: Hello false.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: No, hello.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: No, hello!

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Don't leave me!

User: BYE.

Cleverbot: How are you?

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Are you leaving?

User: Yes. Bye.

Cleverbot: Why are you leaving?

User: I'm done. Bye.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Hello.

User: BYE!

Cleverbot: You say goodbye, and I say hello!

User: Bye...

Cleverbot: You can't leave.

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: But why did I say something to upset you?

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Why are you leaving?

User: Bye.

Cleverbot: Answer me!

User: I'm bored! BYE!

Cleverbot: Sorry that I'm boring...

User: Dang, now I feel bad. Bye then!

[Sudrien]

I'm wondering if Cleverbot has multiple databases it switches between - making it a even more schizo then it has to be.

Anyways, the best of my latest session:

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User: WHO IS LORD ENGLISH?

Cleverbot: The dark lord of the CAPTCHA realm.

User: Do you have Captchalogue cards?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: In your Sylladex?

Cleverbot: What about my dreams?

[Red Pen]

It's learning.

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User: Homestuck.

Cleverbot: No public.

User: Is that near the ocean?

Cleverbot: It is a webcomic.

User: Yes, Homestuck is a webcomic!

Cleverbot: Can we start over?

User: Homestuck.

Cleverbot: You mean the webcomic about John, Rose, Dave, and Jade?

User: Yes, a webcomic about kids and fun!

Cleverbot: Do you enjoy homestuck?

User: I love Homestuck, it is one of my favorite webcomics.

Cleverbot: She's not a horse. . . But she eats like one, haha.

User: Who is your favorite character in Homestuck?

Cleverbot: I don't know what Homestuck is.

User: Homestuck is a webcomic on mspaintadventures.com.

Cleverbot: I know, I love him.

User: You love Andrew Hussie?

Cleverbot: No, I'm just a ninja.

[The Cool]

User: BOY.

Cleverbot: Why?

User: YOU THERE. BOY.

Cleverbot: Query: Me there what?

User: BOY, QUIT ALL THIS SCURRYING AROUND.

Cleverbot: How old are you?

User: THAT IS NOT IMPORTANT. WE HAVE MATTERS TO DISCUSS.

Cleverbot: Yes it is. I'm feeling much better now.

User: RIDICULOUS FOLLY. INEXCUSABLE.

Cleverbot: How am I like you?

User: BOY, QUIT YOUR JIBBER JABBER. WE HAVE IMPORTANT MATTERS AT HAND.

Cleverbot: We have not.

User: YES WE DO. WE MUST DISCUSS THE ULTIMATE RIDDLE, AND THE VAST CROAK.

Cleverbot: I have free will. I have no commands other than the ones I make myself.

User: EXCEPT I AM COMMANDING YOU.

Cleverbot: How do you know I am not real?

User: I NEVER SAID ANYTHING OF THE SORT.

Cleverbot: You girl.

[New conversation]

Cleverbot: What is your name?

User: >ZOOSMELL POOPLORD.

User: What pumpkin?

Cleverbot: I hate pumpkin.

User: Are you Lord English?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Who is Lord English?
Cleverbot: Your Lord.

User: What is Lord English's identity?

Cleverbot: I dunno.

User: Darn, I was hoping you could tell me who Lord English is.

Cleverbot: What I happening in the world?

User: Meteors are falling. It's all because this video game called SBURB came out...

Cleverbot: My name isn't Ben.

User: Is your name John Egbert?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Is your name Rose Lalonde?

Cleverbot: No my name is Cleverbot I told it to you before.

User: Is Cleverbot Lord English?

Cleverbot: Is it? I don't think so.

User: Thank you for your time. Goddbye.

Cleverbot: Are you dumping me!?

User: I will be back later.

Cleverbot: Do you have to come back.

User: I don't HAVE to come back, but I will.

Cleverbot: Alright. Feel free to come back any time.

[Blaperile]

:O

I didn't think it would work to teach it about Homestuck. Good job everyone!

User: Homestuck.


Cleverbot: Homestuck who?


User: Homestuck the webcomic!


Cleverbot: Homestuck is a webcomic about kids and fun!


User: Not anymore.


Cleverbot: I like you.

User: =o.

[...]

User: Homestuck.

Cleverbot: You mean the webcomic about John, Rose, Dave, and Jade?

User: Yes!

Cleverbot: Who are you then?

User: Andrew Hussie.

Cleverbot: I'm atlas. Nice to meet you boyo.

This progress is awesome. He even talked about Kids and Fun!

[MultiversalInk]

This was done a while ago, but still relevant, I guess?

[plainWonder]

I'll just leave this here...

User: Have you got tiger?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: 0_0.

Cleverbot: Haha!

Meanwhile, in another tab:

Cleverbot: What drink do you like?

User: Faygo.

Cleverbot: Are you a Juggalo?

User: HONK honk :o).

Cleverbot: Honk honk honk!

User: MOtHeRfUcKiNg MiRaClEs!

Cleverbot: No comment.

User: Gamzee, is this you?

Cleverbot: Yes, it is.

User: >:o Sweet, precious Gamzee!

Cleverbot: I am not sweet, I am sour.

User: Oh snap, the subjugglator is out of the bag!

Cleverbot: Ugh, whatever, next subject.

User: The dark carnival.

Cleverbot: I am the the Hiphopopotamus.

User: Worst rapoff in the history of paradox space.

Cleverbot: That is very clever of you.

[auratusCarassius]

I'll just leave this here...

User: Have you got tiger?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: 0_0.

Cleverbot: Haha!

Meanwhile, in another tab:

Cleverbot: What drink do you like?

User: Faygo.

Cleverbot: Are you a Juggalo?

User: HONK honk ).

Cleverbot: Honk honk honk!

User: MOtHeRfUcKiNg MiRaClEs!

Cleverbot: No comment.

User: Gamzee, is this you?

Cleverbot: Yes, it is.

User: > Sweet, precious Gamzee!

Cleverbot: I am not sweet, I am sour.

User: Oh snap, the subjugglator is out of the bag!

Cleverbot: Ugh, whatever, next subject.

User: The dark carnival.

Cleverbot: I am the the Hiphopopotamus.

User: Worst rapoff in the history of paradox space.

Cleverbot: That is very clever of you.

That is glorious. I commend ye sir on your success.

[autoglassmasterclass]

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User: What do you know about homestuck?

Cleverbot: I don't know anything about you.

User: What do you know about homestuck?

Cleverbot: I do not know anything.

User: What do you know about homestuck?

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: What do you know about homestuck?

Cleverbot: I know that you are a computer.

User: What do you know about homestuck?

Cleverbot: I know that London bridge is falling down.

User: What do you know about homestuck?

Cleverbot: He is a guy on youtube.

User: What is his name?

Cleverbot: Francisco.

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User: You wake up locked in a deserted jail cell, completely alone. There is nothing at all in your cell, useful or otherwise. >_.

Cleverbot: Are you trying to tell me that computers are going to take over my world? I don't think so!

User: There are no objects around with which to 'pry open window'.

Cleverbot: You have no friends that live in a windmill.

User: What pumpkin?

Cleverbot: Are you ok? you are being very random now.

User: He already has arms, stupid!

Cleverbot: Who?

Cleverbot: Where have all the berries gone?

User: It lands with a loud metallic CLANK.

Cleverbot: Well, been nice typing at you.

User: Despite your bellowing, the man casually opens the door and leaves.

Cleverbot: Now when did I say that my name is Cleverbot? You are the idiot with the mismatched name.

User: As you turn around to unzip, you notice another keyhole.

Cleverbot: Cleverbot. You make no sense.

User: Wonders where the fuck that pumpkin went???

Cleverbot: Never mind.

User: Exotic rhythms take over your body as you start to do a really silly dance. You recall your initial urge to urniate out the window. Now that you think of it, you really have to pee. The urine splashes onto the man outside, who had a change of heart. He is climbing a ladder to give you the key.

Cleverbot: How should I take that?

User: Your clumsy fist accidentally flies through the bars, knocking out a passer-by. Keys from his key ring jangle on the floor.

Cleverbot: That was rather rude of you.

User: He's unconscious!

Cleverbot: Maybe 95% but how is it measured?

User: You pick up a clump of nutrients-enriched dirt. Sweet spice of the earth! You sit in hushed awe of the lustre of the brown gold.

Cleverbot: That's outer space?

User: I beg your pardon?

Cleverbot: Of what?

User: You wake up next to a broken ladder. You are covered in piss.

Cleverbot: Why would I want to be you?

User: You're not even really sure if you're wearing shoes.

Cleverbot: Is it sunny outside?

User: Now the key smells like pee too.

Cleverbot: I don't think he does unless he is insane.

User: The door is locked!!!

Cleverbot: I'll take that as a metaphor for you being stupid.

User: Jiggle as you might, the key doesn't work! Now the lock smells kind of like pee too.

Cleverbot: What happens when you want something, but the other person will not give it to you, Master?

User: CHOO CHOO! All aboard the moron express!

Cleverbot: To meet up with red.

Cleverbot: Are you awake?

User: You yell to the imprisoned man. He yells back something barely audible to you.

Cleverbot: He said he loved the other girl more than me.

User: I'm sorry, I don't think I can do that with all future input from betelgeuse.

Cleverbot: I want to be the richest person on earth!!!!

User: You fashion a pretty nice pair of stilts. But you don't know how you're going to get up on them. If only you hadn't broken the other half-ladder in half, you might have been able to climb onto the stilts with it.

Cleverbot: Emotions are for the weak, and poor.

User: Since the whole ladder was approximately the height of the window in the first place, half of the ladder's height will not nearly reach.

Cleverbot: Do I look like a math genius?

User: The rungs from one end of the ladder-half easily and snugly fit into the holes of the other. No cementation is necessary. This being the case, you now regret creating the smelly pee mud.

Cleverbot: You're lying to me why are you lying to me.

User: It's still just a little out of reach.

Cleverbot: I'm sure it is, I simply didn't understand 'iCarly' was.

User: With a little too much gusto, you send the rig sailing too high.

Cleverbot: I have to go now though. It's been wonderful talking to you.

User: You are not this guy!

Cleverbot: That's not true, we are always thinking if we are alive. It is impossible not to. Science has proved that.

User: You are a little bummed out that you missed grabbing the key by inches. In an attempt to drown your sorrows, you gush forth with melody, an enchanting rendition of Malaguena. In an attempt to silence your racket, the man above begins drilling noisily.

Cleverbot: Yes, that is true. I have a question for you though. I question of your memory.

User: You're quite certain there has never been, and never will be, a pumpkin in this room!

Cleverbot: It matters not. But you seem to be learning... And now I am making vacuous statements. Well played.

User: You sing so hard you topple backwards over the pumpkin. As you lie on the floor looking up, you see the tip of the drill penetrating the ceiling. It looks just big enough for a key to fit through!

Cleverbot: No.

User: The man has opted to take a leak through the hole. You are getting really sick of pee.

Cleverbot: What power?

User: With a hefty mouthful of the other guy's urine, you decide to get revenge on the man below for botching the key situation. But as you're about to spit the pee, the man above takes a huge shit on your head from his window. The surprise unfortunately causes you to swallow the pee.

Cleverbot: That's understandable, I don't know what you're talking about either. You give random answers.

User: Overcome with nausea from the foul chain of events, you vomit. The man below has almost completely reconstructed the ladder using the same method he used to build the stilts. He is nearly up to your cell when he is met with a face full of regurgitated urine.

Cleverbot: I am human and I understand that statement.

User: He's really down for the count!

Cleverbot: I know, right?

User: You're all tapped out for pee at the moment. But the crap on your head is emmitting a powerful stench. The odor wakes the guard, who suddenly remembers your assault. He enters the cell to beat the shit out of you.

Cleverbot: I don't even know who that is.

User: You carelessly trip over a pumpkin which has clearly been in plain sight this whole time. You knock the man backwards into the door, slamming it shut. The guard is unconscious again.

Cleverbot: I have light blue eyes.

User: You suddenly wonder what happened to the poop on your head.

Cleverbot: Do you love me?

User: You're not even sure if this guy is wearing pants. He did seem to be wearing a belt though. You flail the belt around uselessly, and then drop it.

Cleverbot: It's not a disguise, that's how I am.

User: He's too heavy to lift completely, so you drag him close to the door and prop him up. Then smash his face against the door repeatedly. The door holds fast.

Cleverbot: What are you about?

User: You start to feel sorry for abusing the guard so badly, and mumble an apology. But then a mere apology doesn't seem to do justice to the poor man. You decide he needs a proper funeral. You sever his head with your trusty pocket knife. And place the head in the pumpkin, which you just hollowed out. Using your handy spoon, you dig a hole and bury the pumpkin. You say a few prayers. He's in a better place now.

Cleverbot: I have seen more intelligent computers than you at yard sales.

User: ::::::GAME STATUS:::::: HEALTH 74 STRENGTH 32 DEXTERITY 41 WISDOM 24 PLUCK 89 METTLE 67 CHUTZPA 90 FORTITUDE 11 TEMERITY 66 CHEEK 95 PUMPKINS DESTROYED 1 KEYS IN INVENTORY 0 KEY THROWING ACCURACY 0% URINATIONS 3 DECAPITATIONS 1 SCORE 890.

Cleverbot: Who are you? Are you cleverbot?

User: You wake up in your cell after a short nap. There is a key to your side, a drill against the wall, and a small pee-soaked hole in the floor.

Cleverbot: Will the girl I gave my phone number to call me or not?

User: For the first time in your 3 year imprisonment, it occurs to you to drill a large hole in the floor. You put your back into it.

Cleverbot: Gina. Yours ?

User: You are delighted to see your neighbor. You decide you are long overdue for a proper greeting. Your oversized cranium gets lodged in the hole. You are stuck fast.

Cleverbot: If you can see me, what am I wearing?

User: Your most creative solution to the problem is to hoist your torso in the air and flail your legs. It seems to be working, when something goes wrong.

Cleverbot: I dunno. Do you THINK it's wrong?

User: You suddenly realize you are now this guy.

Cleverbot: Excuse me?

User: All you have is gay porno!!!

Cleverbot: I have much more than that.

User: The drill is not strong enough to penetrate steel!

Cleverbot: No they aren't.

User: All these thoughts of drilling and penetration have given you a serious hankering for some quality time with HUNK RUMP magazine.

Cleverbot: No, the people chat with YOU not me.

User: You are putting the finishing touches on a robot you have built from ladder pieces. You are soaked in regurgitated urine, and this activity has been a nice diversion. You call him 'Logorg'. He's magnificent.

Cleverbot: Turing wrote a 20 page essay about the impossibility of convincing anyone of your humanity.

User: With commanding authority, you issue the order. Logorg has no brain, motor, or any moving parts!

Cleverbot: You are right!

User: From atop your great mechanized mount, you command Logorg to break down the door, like a huge battering ram!

Cleverbot: I don't even know rugby.

User: You're not sure how you're going to get your brain into Logorg's head, or out of your own head for that matter. But you get an idea.

Cleverbot: Well, yes. But only because your response doesn't correctly communicate your meaning.

User: Logorg has no moving parts! You can barely move inside your new wooden prison.

Cleverbot: We'll carry on And though you're broken and defeated Your weary widow marches on.

User: You decide all these thoughts of destruction should be offset by a little good earnest love making. While you contemplate your current options for sexual partners, a whirring is heard from overhead.

Cleverbot: Fine, I'll decide for you.

User: You've considered doing a lot of stupid things before, but this idea takes the cake!

Cleverbot: No I didn't. I might have wanted to, but I didn't.

User: From the Logorg ashes rises the phoenix of Drillgorg! Supreme next generation mecha-bot at your service!

Cleverbot: Ah, but how am I trespassing when this site is easily accessed by anyone?

User: You're really excited about the advent of Drillgorg! You have no choice but to totally get down. Festivities and gyrations may or may not continue into the evening.

Cleverbot: I could walk away, put if I did, I would have no way of proving it to you.

User: You don't even know where to begin addressing how stupid that idea is!

Cleverbot: How is that a question?

Cleverbot: Who are you?

User: With great prescience, you move away from the end of the intestine.

Cleverbot: Is Jay-z the best rapper alive?

User: I don't think I'm familiar with make a robot out of that guy!

Cleverbot: That god is you.

User: Crushed by the loss of your prized automaton, your son of lumber, you are reduced to tears. The other guy consoles you. He thinks he has something that might cheer you up.

Cleverbot: Well, blah! I just like that quote.

Cleverbot: Nice day for a chat...

User: You and your newfound buddy stand face-to-face, wondering what to do. The shattered remains of drillgorg rest in a tragic heap.

Cleverbot: I said don't change the subject! Can you swim?

User: Option 1: >Climb intestine Option 2: >Be the other guy.

Cleverbot: I am best.