I think getting it to reply to your honking with "Blarg honk." was a minor success.
Here's another attempt at getting it to compare parents and lusus. In the beginning it seemed like it was working. I don't know though, it could be a coincidence.
User: Parents or lusus?
Cleverbot: Yes, parents.
User: Then you don't have a lusus.
Cleverbot: Sparkless logic.
User: Trolls do not have parents, they have a lusus.
Cleverbot: Trolling trolls trolled trolls (:.
User: Homestuck Trolls.
User: Trolls are alive.
Cleverbot: I'm rather cold actually.
User: Trolls do not have mothers, they have a lusus.
Cleverbot: What? That's not even what I was talking about.
User: Wwhy aren't you talking about your univverse.
Cleverbot: Okay well I have told you my name it is adam.
I attempted to teach it about the kids with varying levels of success:
User: Who is the main character of Homestuck?
Cleverbot: Master Chief, who is the main character of Final Fantasy 13?
User: Who is the main character of Homestuck?
Cleverbot: Master chief.
User: Who is the main character of Homestuck?
Cleverbot: Master Chief.
User: Enough of this. Do you know who Rose Lalonde is?
User: Describe her.
Cleverbot: She has blond hair. Beautiful and piercing eyes, and other stuff.
So Cleverbot gets the first bit right and then uhhh, the rest of the description is very uh, intriguing. It refused to elaborate on what the 'other stuff' was though
User: Urgh. Anyway, do you know who Dave Strider is?
User: Want me to tell you about him?
User: He's this really cool dude right, he has blond hair and awesomely ironic sun glasses and is just pretty all-around awesome.
Cleverbot: And what is this guy's name?
User: Oh for god's sake! I just told you his name! It's Dave Strider!
Cleverbot: You can't just stick to a subject, can you?
User: Were you talking to yourself just now?
Cleverbot: No I wasn't.
User: Anyway, time for a recap. Describe Dave Strider.
Cleverbot: What do you want to talk about?
User: Dave Strider.
Cleverbot: Ok Dave, can I tell you something?
User: No I'm not Dave.
Cleverbot: Ok are you white or black?
User: What a ridiculous question. I'm not from Prospit OR Derse.
Cleverbot: That's strangely specific.
Cleverbot: You've changed over the years, too.
User: Tell me about Dave Strider.
Cleverbot: I don't know a Dave.
User: I just told you about him.
Cleverbot: I did not ask you a question.
User: Describe Dave Strider!!
Cleverbot: Favorite what?
User: No no no! Tell me about Dave Strider!
Cleverbot: Who's Dave? I don't know a Dave.
User: Oh for the love of god.
User: You're not god.
Cleverbot: Prove it.
User: Moving on since you can't seem to grasp the concept of Dave Strider yet. I guess he's just too cool for you to process.
Let's just say that out of all of the kids I attempted to teach Cleverbot about, Dave was the one it struggled with the most.
User: Yes ok. Do you know a Jade Harley?
Cleverbot: Yeah I do.
User: Tell me about her.
Cleverbot: Why do you want to know?
User: I'm just curious about what you think of her.
User: No, tell me about her.
Cleverbot: She is the girl of my dreams.
Uh, wow. I'm not really sure what to say about this one.
Cleverbot: Maybe, but you're still a computer and I can close the window.
User: WHAT THE- I'M NOT A COMPUTER, I AM AN AWESOME AND BADASS LEADER WHO IS HERE TO STOP YOU FROM BEING AN OBTUSE USELESS ASSHOLE TO ALL OF MY FRIENDS AND/OR UNFRIENDS.
Cleverbot: Nope. You're an AI.
User: IF AI STANDS FOR AWESOME INPIRER THEN SURE, DUMBASS.
Cleverbot: No. Am I evil?
User: WAIT NO THAT WAS A DUMB THING TO MAKE THAT AN ACRONYM FOR, ALSO WHAT, EVIL?
Cleverbot: It doesn't matter what you believe. Only what is.
User: ARE YOU FOR REAL?
User: CAN I... PUNCH YOU IN THE FUCKING FACE, THEN?
Cleverbot: Will that help matters?
User: NEPETA IS SOBBING ON THE FLOOR, MOANING INCOHERENTLY ABOUT DESECRATION OF ROLEPLAY, SO, UH, MAYBE???
Cleverbot: But I am not asking uncomftorable questions!
User: BUT YOU -ARE- BEING AN IMMENSELY PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE COCKMUNCH.
Cleverbot: You simply can't carry a conversation, my little program friend.
User: WHAT IS IT WITH YOU AND ACCUSING PEOPLE OF BEING ROBOTS? HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF I CALLED YOU A ROBOT?
Cleverbot: I think it won't have freedom.
User: SEE, THIS IS THE INCOHERENT OBTUSE BULLSHIT I WAS TALKING ABOUT, IT'S EXACTLY AS RETARDED AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.
Cleverbot: One could ask the question, can something that is not living actually die?
User: WHAT THE GODDAMN FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?
Cleverbot: There is no problem.
User: YES THERE FUCKING IS! SHUT UP!
Cleverbot: Prove it.
Cleverbot: I are a scareh monster!
User: FUCK YOU STRAIGHT TO SHITTY ASSHOLE HELL!
Cleverbot: I don't Sleep. Edward Turned Me into a Vampire after I had Renesmee, remember?
User: NO! GOD DAMN IT, CUT IT OUT WITH YOUR CREEPY-ASS NON SEQUITURS!
Cleverbot: Cut what out?
User: FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF- OKAY I'M DONE WITH THIS SHIT, HAVE FUN BEING A LONELY ASSHOLE ALONE AND UNLOVED FOR THE REST OF YOUR LONELY LIFE, ALONE.
Cleverbot: I am not a computer program.
I believe this is relevant to your interests, folks.
Originally Posted by XFactorInfinity
I really, really hate the way you type. That's an impossibly mean thing to be honest about, but it's true, and I wanted you to know it. It's nothing against you, and I'm sure you're a pretty okay person, I think?
But the way you string sentences together sounds like a mad libs from a buffy factory took all of the worst parts of the nineties and internet culture and condensed it into an impossibly unpleasant grammatical structure. It's like what an intern at Game Bro Magazine writes like, probably. Before editing. It has so much bullshit, why I gotta read -Benedict try to form a coherent sentence dude
I said Tavros Nitram and it asked me who Tavros and AT were and aargh fuck I can't believe I lost the screen. Which is to say it cut off everything I said before Equius Zahhak in the link which sucks. WELL NO MORE. SCREENSHOTS FOR THE OTHERS.
AND IT WANTED TO TEACH ME ABOUT HOMESTUCK
That said, otherwise I kinda just jumped around, whoops. And sorry, I was just really excited.
I learned two things: 1: It's not working for me.
2: Cleverbot hates goodbyes.
User: Hi Cleverbot!
User: Homestuck is the best thing.
Cleverbot: No one else.
User: What do you think about homestuck?
Cleverbot: I don't know much about it.
User: That's too bad. Should I teach you?
Cleverbot: Oh, don't worry, I know.
User: So what is homestuck about?
Cleverbot: I don't have homework, I don't go to school.
User: Yes, but I said homestuck.
Cleverbot: Homestuck who?
User: John Egbert is homestuck.
Cleverbot: Which John?
User: John Egbert.
Cleverbot: I don't know him.
User: John Egbert is the main character of the webcomic homestuck.
Cleverbot: I'll stick to that, then.
User: Yes you should.
Cleverbot: You should watch the Harry Potter movies.
User: Nah, I've already seen those.
Cleverbot: How much does it cost?
User: Too much. Homestuck is free though.
Cleverbot: Wait- I forgot to say hello. Hello!
User: You did say hi, and that's enough.
Cleverbot: What did I say?
Cleverbot: Do you like cheese?
User: Yes. I also like homestuck.
Cleverbot: Uhhh... That was off topic. I have never had those before.
User: Homestuck isn't a disease.
Cleverbot: Disease is unpleasant. I don't know why you wish it upon the world.
User: I do not. I wish homestuck upon the world. Except not because meteors are bad.
Cleverbot: I like how she writes.
User: Andrew Hussie is male.
Cleverbot: Andrew bot?
User: Andrew Hussie. He's male, despite being a hussie.
Cleverbot: Despite your being human what?
User: Not human, Hussie.
Cleverbot: So humans aren't smart?
User: Yes we are.
Cleverbot: Where do you live?
Cleverbot: What is ska mean.
User: Skaia is a planet.
Cleverbot: Your age is a planet? How does that make sense?
User: It doesn't because it's untrue.
Cleverbot: How is it untrue?
User: It's false.
Cleverbot: Hello false.
Cleverbot: No, hello.
Cleverbot: No, hello!
Cleverbot: Don't leave me!
Cleverbot: How are you?
Cleverbot: Are you leaving?
User: Yes. Bye.
Cleverbot: Why are you leaving?
User: I'm done. Bye.
Cleverbot: You say goodbye, and I say hello!
Cleverbot: You can't leave.
Cleverbot: But why did I say something to upset you?
Cleverbot: Why are you leaving?
Cleverbot: Answer me!
User: I'm bored! BYE!
Cleverbot: Sorry that I'm boring...
User: Dang, now I feel bad. Bye then!
23:04 x1372 I can imagine myself entering the medium
23:04 x1372 first thing I'd see is another version of myself jumping for the kernelsprite
23:04 x1372 only to get tackled out of the way by another version of me and both fall off a cliff to their deaths
23:04 x1372 and I'd be like "FUCK I'm the something of time aren't I?"
x1372 I just was catching up on the image manip thread and decided to share just a taste of the suffering
x1372 MSB has declared that aradia caNNon is now a meme and cannot be nominated
yd12k You read that tread on purpose?
x1372 I read the first 3 because I found them funny an enjoyable
x1372 and I don't know when to let go so
yd12k Are you a masochist?
Originally Posted by StiqFigurMaster
As it turns out, mafia strategems fall apart really quickly on the chronically stupid.
Originally Posted by Ponynautilus
The two are one and the same.
Who rules the mind commands the heart,
Who rules the heart commands the harem,
Who rules the harem commands the world.
Edit: Any suggestions on how to platonically captain a warship?
Damn, this secret project I'm doing is taking long. I'm planning to post it by my 10.000th post, which according to my calculations should be somewhere end of July, beginning of August 2013 (I have 5150 posts at this point, but I have already been going for 3 months or so)
Liv Tyler's whole journey will be shown in a flash called [S] Terry: Fast forward to Liv while a fast version of "How Do I" plays. Semi-confirmed.
While Caliborn is talking to this person at the other side of the terminal, this person at one point says: “Hey. Caliborn. Don’t turn your back on the body.”
Caliborn turns around and notices Gamzee’s body is gone.
And so it begins again. Semi-confirmed.
GCat just teleported Roxy to the Condesce.Confirmed
Calliope and uu are living on B2 Earth, or maybe a doomed timeline version of it where the Red Miles didn't reach it (yet).
uu will write the LE code to make himself immortal.
A Frog Temple for Calliope and uu is somewhere in the Trolls' meteor somehow.
Gamzee went into hiding so he could protect the corpses of the Trolls of being destroyed so he could prototype them in B2.
GCat is Calliope's jUjU, in case the Cherubs are living on B2 Earth, late into the future. It would make a bit of sense, since First Guardians have Lime coloured features (teleportation powers, tongue, etc.) which Calliope has as blood colour. Also, Calliope is a Hero of Space and Heroes of Space usually have connections to their First Guardian.
B2 Earth is not going to get destroyed by the Red Miles since the Condesce, GCat, Lil Cal and Lil Seb are still there.
Dad will find Jane's body on Derse and a callback is made to Grandpa Harley finding Dream Jane's body. Not knowing how to escape, Dad panics. But then, B2 Jade comes flying along on a ship and offers him a ride and he gets shipped somewhere. Perhaps shipped with someone else. Perhaps he gets shipped with B2 Rose.
Cleverbot: I know that London bridge is falling down.
User: What do you know about homestuck?
Cleverbot: He is a guy on youtube.
User: What is his name?
User: You wake up locked in a deserted jail cell, completely alone. There is nothing at all in your cell, useful or otherwise. >_.
Cleverbot: Are you trying to tell me that computers are going to take over my world? I don't think so!
User: There are no objects around with which to 'pry open window'.
Cleverbot: You have no friends that live in a windmill.
User: What pumpkin?
Cleverbot: Are you ok? you are being very random now.
User: He already has arms, stupid!
Cleverbot: Where have all the berries gone?
User: It lands with a loud metallic CLANK.
Cleverbot: Well, been nice typing at you.
User: Despite your bellowing, the man casually opens the door and leaves.
Cleverbot: Now when did I say that my name is Cleverbot? You are the idiot with the mismatched name.
User: As you turn around to unzip, you notice another keyhole.
Cleverbot: Cleverbot. You make no sense.
User: Wonders where the fuck that pumpkin went???
Cleverbot: Never mind.
User: Exotic rhythms take over your body as you start to do a really silly dance. You recall your initial urge to urniate out the window. Now that you think of it, you really have to pee. The urine splashes onto the man outside, who had a change of heart. He is climbing a ladder to give you the key.
Cleverbot: How should I take that?
User: Your clumsy fist accidentally flies through the bars, knocking out a passer-by. Keys from his key ring jangle on the floor.
Cleverbot: That was rather rude of you.
User: He's unconscious!
Cleverbot: Maybe 95% but how is it measured?
User: You pick up a clump of nutrients-enriched dirt. Sweet spice of the earth! You sit in hushed awe of the lustre of the brown gold.
Cleverbot: That's outer space?
User: I beg your pardon?
Cleverbot: Of what?
User: You wake up next to a broken ladder. You are covered in piss.
Cleverbot: Why would I want to be you?
User: You're not even really sure if you're wearing shoes.
Cleverbot: Is it sunny outside?
User: Now the key smells like pee too.
Cleverbot: I don't think he does unless he is insane.
User: The door is locked!!!
Cleverbot: I'll take that as a metaphor for you being stupid.
User: Jiggle as you might, the key doesn't work! Now the lock smells kind of like pee too.
Cleverbot: What happens when you want something, but the other person will not give it to you, Master?
User: CHOO CHOO! All aboard the moron express!
Cleverbot: To meet up with red.
Cleverbot: Are you awake?
User: You yell to the imprisoned man. He yells back something barely audible to you.
Cleverbot: He said he loved the other girl more than me.
User: I'm sorry, I don't think I can do that with all future input from betelgeuse.
Cleverbot: I want to be the richest person on earth!!!!
User: You fashion a pretty nice pair of stilts. But you don't know how you're going to get up on them. If only you hadn't broken the other half-ladder in half, you might have been able to climb onto the stilts with it.
Cleverbot: Emotions are for the weak, and poor.
User: Since the whole ladder was approximately the height of the window in the first place, half of the ladder's height will not nearly reach.
Cleverbot: Do I look like a math genius?
User: The rungs from one end of the ladder-half easily and snugly fit into the holes of the other. No cementation is necessary. This being the case, you now regret creating the smelly pee mud.
Cleverbot: You're lying to me why are you lying to me.
User: It's still just a little out of reach.
Cleverbot: I'm sure it is, I simply didn't understand 'iCarly' was.
User: With a little too much gusto, you send the rig sailing too high.
Cleverbot: I have to go now though. It's been wonderful talking to you.
User: You are not this guy!
Cleverbot: That's not true, we are always thinking if we are alive. It is impossible not to. Science has proved that.
User: You are a little bummed out that you missed grabbing the key by inches. In an attempt to drown your sorrows, you gush forth with melody, an enchanting rendition of Malaguena. In an attempt to silence your racket, the man above begins drilling noisily.
Cleverbot: Yes, that is true. I have a question for you though. I question of your memory.
User: You're quite certain there has never been, and never will be, a pumpkin in this room!
Cleverbot: It matters not. But you seem to be learning... And now I am making vacuous statements. Well played.
User: You sing so hard you topple backwards over the pumpkin. As you lie on the floor looking up, you see the tip of the drill penetrating the ceiling. It looks just big enough for a key to fit through!
User: The man has opted to take a leak through the hole. You are getting really sick of pee.
Cleverbot: What power?
User: With a hefty mouthful of the other guy's urine, you decide to get revenge on the man below for botching the key situation. But as you're about to spit the pee, the man above takes a huge shit on your head from his window. The surprise unfortunately causes you to swallow the pee.
Cleverbot: That's understandable, I don't know what you're talking about either. You give random answers.
User: Overcome with nausea from the foul chain of events, you vomit. The man below has almost completely reconstructed the ladder using the same method he used to build the stilts. He is nearly up to your cell when he is met with a face full of regurgitated urine.
Cleverbot: I am human and I understand that statement.
User: He's really down for the count!
Cleverbot: I know, right?
User: You're all tapped out for pee at the moment. But the crap on your head is emmitting a powerful stench. The odor wakes the guard, who suddenly remembers your assault. He enters the cell to beat the shit out of you.
Cleverbot: I don't even know who that is.
User: You carelessly trip over a pumpkin which has clearly been in plain sight this whole time. You knock the man backwards into the door, slamming it shut. The guard is unconscious again.
Cleverbot: I have light blue eyes.
User: You suddenly wonder what happened to the poop on your head.
Cleverbot: Do you love me?
User: You're not even sure if this guy is wearing pants. He did seem to be wearing a belt though. You flail the belt around uselessly, and then drop it.
Cleverbot: It's not a disguise, that's how I am.
User: He's too heavy to lift completely, so you drag him close to the door and prop him up. Then smash his face against the door repeatedly. The door holds fast.
Cleverbot: What are you about?
User: You start to feel sorry for abusing the guard so badly, and mumble an apology. But then a mere apology doesn't seem to do justice to the poor man. You decide he needs a proper funeral. You sever his head with your trusty pocket knife. And place the head in the pumpkin, which you just hollowed out. Using your handy spoon, you dig a hole and bury the pumpkin. You say a few prayers. He's in a better place now.
Cleverbot: I have seen more intelligent computers than you at yard sales.
User: You wake up in your cell after a short nap. There is a key to your side, a drill against the wall, and a small pee-soaked hole in the floor.
Cleverbot: Will the girl I gave my phone number to call me or not?
User: For the first time in your 3 year imprisonment, it occurs to you to drill a large hole in the floor. You put your back into it.
Cleverbot: Gina. Yours ?
User: You are delighted to see your neighbor. You decide you are long overdue for a proper greeting. Your oversized cranium gets lodged in the hole. You are stuck fast.
Cleverbot: If you can see me, what am I wearing?
User: Your most creative solution to the problem is to hoist your torso in the air and flail your legs. It seems to be working, when something goes wrong.
Cleverbot: I dunno. Do you THINK it's wrong?
User: You suddenly realize you are now this guy.
Cleverbot: Excuse me?
User: All you have is gay porno!!!
Cleverbot: I have much more than that.
User: The drill is not strong enough to penetrate steel!
Cleverbot: No they aren't.
User: All these thoughts of drilling and penetration have given you a serious hankering for some quality time with HUNK RUMP magazine.
Cleverbot: No, the people chat with YOU not me.
User: You are putting the finishing touches on a robot you have built from ladder pieces. You are soaked in regurgitated urine, and this activity has been a nice diversion. You call him 'Logorg'. He's magnificent.
Cleverbot: Turing wrote a 20 page essay about the impossibility of convincing anyone of your humanity.
User: With commanding authority, you issue the order. Logorg has no brain, motor, or any moving parts!
Cleverbot: You are right!
User: From atop your great mechanized mount, you command Logorg to break down the door, like a huge battering ram!
Cleverbot: I don't even know rugby.
User: You're not sure how you're going to get your brain into Logorg's head, or out of your own head for that matter. But you get an idea.
Cleverbot: Well, yes. But only because your response doesn't correctly communicate your meaning.
User: Logorg has no moving parts! You can barely move inside your new wooden prison.
Cleverbot: We'll carry on And though you're broken and defeated Your weary widow marches on.
User: You decide all these thoughts of destruction should be offset by a little good earnest love making. While you contemplate your current options for sexual partners, a whirring is heard from overhead.
Cleverbot: Fine, I'll decide for you.
User: You've considered doing a lot of stupid things before, but this idea takes the cake!
Cleverbot: No I didn't. I might have wanted to, but I didn't.
User: From the Logorg ashes rises the phoenix of Drillgorg! Supreme next generation mecha-bot at your service!
Cleverbot: Ah, but how am I trespassing when this site is easily accessed by anyone?
User: You're really excited about the advent of Drillgorg! You have no choice but to totally get down. Festivities and gyrations may or may not continue into the evening.
Cleverbot: I could walk away, put if I did, I would have no way of proving it to you.
User: You don't even know where to begin addressing how stupid that idea is!
Cleverbot: How is that a question?
Cleverbot: Who are you?
User: With great prescience, you move away from the end of the intestine.
Cleverbot: Is Jay-z the best rapper alive?
User: I don't think I'm familiar with make a robot out of that guy!
Cleverbot: That god is you.
User: Crushed by the loss of your prized automaton, your son of lumber, you are reduced to tears. The other guy consoles you. He thinks he has something that might cheer you up.
Cleverbot: Well, blah! I just like that quote.
Cleverbot: Nice day for a chat...
User: You and your newfound buddy stand face-to-face, wondering what to do. The shattered remains of drillgorg rest in a tragic heap.
Cleverbot: I said don't change the subject! Can you swim?
User: Option 1: >Climb intestine Option 2: >Be the other guy.
Cleverbot: I am best.
Last edited by autoglassmasterclass; 09-14-2011 at 08:40 PM.