MSPA Fanfiction VII: End of Thread 6 Flash

[SkaianRedeemer]

I don't know why I've been sitting here acting like this fic has to be finished before I can talk. That's just silly talk. Even if it was coming to me easily, it wouldn't be posted until tomorrow.

@Liza: Since you're... asking? I would say just keep going. What you've got right now seems more like a prologue than anything, it would be a shame to leave it without a body, unless you've got other reasons.

@calculatedFlame: I like Masks fair enough, though your Jade section was weaker than the others. Too bad it had to end up at the end just out of the canon "order." But that's just my opinion, and it's an all-around good look at them.

@RedPen: One to go? Looking good for the finale!

"I was originally planning to wrap this entire fanfic up in one massive chapter, but it would have been waaay too long."

I find your lack of pointless, unrewarding ambition... disturbing. (Returns to the Land of Like One Hundred Pages of Varying Rough Drafts)

[penguinbound]

Something A Little Special
A Somniphobic's Guide to Sleeping

show spoiler

hide spoiler

>Be the tired boy.

...

>?

...

>Be the sleeping boy?

...

>This is stupid.

You're stupid.

Wait.

>Wake up.

You are now TAVROS NITRAM, and you were just asleep for the first time in a long time. This is mostly because of your FEAR OF SLEEPING. Your friends have told you that you fear is completely stupid and unbased, but you feel like you are in the right by being afraid of sleeping.

You just don't exactly know why you're right. You just are.

>Explain fear.

"You just don't exactly know why you're right. You just are."

Obviously you don't listen very well.

>Examine room.

Maybe you're going a little too far calling it a room. It's more like... a broom closet. Actually, it is a closet, just large enough to carry your RECUPERACOON. You had your lusus shove it in here. Though you do wonder how your sleeping self manages to get into here when you have the room PADLOCKED.

>Leave room.

You can't. It's padlocked.

"Though you do wonder how your sleeping self manages to get into here when you have the room PADLOCKED."

If you're not going to pay attention then you can leave.

>Be the broken boy.

OPEN PESTERLOG:

show spoiler

hide spoiler

assaultedAtlas [AA] began trolling tiredAsomniac [TA]

AA: um heLLo tavros
AA: are you there

>Be Tavros again.

Wow, okay. You didn't know you were just going to up and leave like that. You apologize for being so hasty in sending you away. Being in a closet makes you kind of lonely.

However, you weren't missing the horrifying arduousness at narrating in the second person.

>Answer Equius.

"Actually, it is a closet, just large enough to carry your RECUPERACOON."

>Exit closet.

"'Though you do wonder how your sleeping self manages to get into here when you have the room PADLOCKED.'"

This is getting kind of ridiculous.

>Be the tired boy.

Oh, ha ha. You're just a comedic genious. Er, you... not you, as in, y'know, YOU, but, uh.

Fuck.

>Go to sleep.

Wow, okay, now you're just being an ass. You can't sleep anyway, you just slept probably about a full 168 hours. When you crash, you crash hard.

>Bust down door.

With what, your psionic powers? The ones you don't have?

Yeah, okay, you can do that.

>Bust down door with brute strength.

You sit down in protest of this ridiculousness.

>Open door.

Fine. You'll turn the knob, if only to prove that the door is still locked. You've never broken a padlock in your li...

Huh.

>Answer Equius.

OPEN PESTERLOG:

show spoiler

hide spoiler

AA: so if you couLd pLease come and heLp me
AA: so i couLd not die
AA: thank you

assaultedAtlas [AA] ceased trolling tiredAsomniac [TA]

TA: ...wait what?

You have a feeling this is going to be a very long night. Nights. Days.

They're pretty much the same thing.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Overall, I'm not to ecstatic with this one, but I think it portrays Tavros well. He talks to himself a lot, mostly because he's tired all the time, which is why he responds to the commands.

@SkaianRedeemer: I'm glad you thought it was funny!
@Liza: I'm glad I'm pulling off the emotions in the story. Nepeta, Sollux, and Feferi are fun group to write for.

[Archaeopteryx]

I wanted to fool around with quadrants without getting too shippy, so I pulled up a bunch of fantrolls. This is a look at kismesis in particular with large sides of moirailship and auspisticeship. Matespritship is involved but not crucial.

It's going to be longer (and have actual narrative substance, rather than pure trollian logs), but I thought I'd leave this here to see if anyone else would be willing to read it before going on.

Is it okay for this to be here, since there's no canon characters? I wasn't sure where else to put it.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

//zephyrsBlade began trolling oneiromanticMastery at 7:15

ZB: I don’t believe it
ZB: He thinks he can blow off our duel just like that?
ZB: I mean, what the hell?
ZB: Wait, are you there?
ZB: Tell me I’m not just ranting at an empty screen
OM: Sorry.
OM: I apologize, I was taking a moment to move my canvas pile.
OM: Since it seemed like you wanted a jam.
ZB: Okay
ZB: No problem
ZB: A jam would be nice actually
ZB: One moment
ZB: Okay, got my trophy pile
OM: You were talking about Cerzek I assume?
ZB: Yes
ZB: Son-of-a-bitch
ZB: No offense
OM: None taken.
OM: My lusus is male.
ZB: Even so
ZB: Anyway, you remember I challenged him last week
OM: Yes.
OM: You wouldn’t stop talking about it.
ZB: Well, excuse me for being excited about my first real duel with my kismesis
ZB: I mean, we’ve been ambushing each other for a while now
OM: I know.
OM: I’ve had to patch you up more often than I like.
ZB: Hey, I have an amazing kismesis. Aren’t you supposed to be happy for me?
OM: Yes, I just wish you could be a little less enthusiastic about it.
ZB:
OM:
ZB: So anyway
ZB: I waited for him all night
ZB: He never showed up
ZB: Seriously, what the hell?
ZB: I thought we had something good
OM: Wait.
OM: I was talking to Jarza earlier.
ZB: Your matesprit?
ZB: Aw man, you’re not having trouble, are you?
OM: No, though I appreciate your concern :=)
OM: She hadn’t seen Cerzek all night either.
OM: She assumed he was off with you.
ZB: How does your matesprit know my kismesis?
OM: She is his moirail.
ZB: Wait, my moirail’s matesprit is my kismesis’ moirail?
ZB: Why didn’t I know that?
OM: Best not to mix red and black interests?
ZB: Well, true.
ZB: Don’t know what I’d do if he targeted you
ZB: Makes me angry just thinking about it
ZB: Not the good kind, either
OM: I propose we change the topic
ZB: Yes please
OM: Anyway, if Cerzek was not with his moirail, and not with his kismesis...
OM: Where is he?
ZB: Don’t know
ZB: Hang on

//zephyrsBlade began trolling druidicPhilosopher at 7:19

ZB: Very funny
ZB: Not showing up
ZB: What kind of game are you playing?
ZB: If you’re trying to arouse my black interest, I appreciate the effort
ZB: But I assure you, you can’t make me hate you more than I already do
ZB: Where are you?
ZB: I’ve already told you, this game is unproductive

// zephyrsBlade resumed trolling oneiromanticMastery at 7:25

ZB: He’s not answering
ZB: I’m tempted to show up at his hive and see what’s what
ZB: Seriously, what does he think he’s doing?
ZB: I hate him. So much.
OM: Awww.
ZB: Shut up, you’re making me blush.
OM: Pardon me.
OM: Jarza is trolling me.

// ferrousMinded began trolling oneiromanticMajesty at 7:27

FM: hey om
OM: Hello, Jarza
FM: youve been talking to zb again havent you
OM: How could you tell?
FM: you always get all formal after youve been talking to him
OM: Deveric is nearly blue.
OM: I am high yellow.
OM: It is appropriate.
FM: |(
OM: is this better?
FM: a little
OM:
FM: but thats not why i trolled you
FM: you wanted to know where dp was
FM: i
FM: well
FM: i went to his hive to check up on him
FM: and he wasn’t there
FM: sort of
OM: ‘sort of’?
FM: well
FM: oh god
FM: i dont know how to say this
OM: take your time.
FM: his blood was
FM: a lot of it
OM: oh
OM: oh no
OM: pardon me
FM: i told you about the formal
FM: youre already gone arent you

//oneiromanticMastery resumed trolling zephyrsBlade at 7:31

OM: Jarza found him.
OM: Or rather, did not...
OM: She found a great deal of blood in his hive.
OM: Cerzek himself was missing.
OM: Are you still there?
ZB: What
ZB: What the hell
ZB: I don’t even
ZB: I’m going to find the bastard and cull him
OM: I fear that may have been done for you.
ZB: Oh, I don't mean Cerzek
ZB: I’m going to find the bastard that kidnapped my kismesis
ZB: And rip out his throat
ZB: Cerzek’s MINE
ZB: Nobody touches him but me
OM: You’re sure you’re not
ZB: Don’t even finish that sentence
ZB: I am not waxing black for this guy
ZB: This hate’s all platonic
OM: I have no right to interfere in your black relationships.
OM: I am not your auspistice.
OM: But please be careful. :=(
OM: Cerzek was not an incapable troll.
ZB: No worries
ZB: I’m not going to underestimate this guy
ZB: No playing around

//zephyrsBlade ceased trolling oneiromanticMastery at 7:36

//oneiromanticMastery resumed trolling ferrousMinded at 7:36

OM: Sorry.
OM: I had to go inform my moirail.
FM: i still cant believe it
FM: i don’t know who would have taken him
FM: or why
FM: or even if hes alive
FM: what if they just dumped him in the ocean?
FM: or fed him to a lusus?
FM: id never know what happened
FM: never find another moirail like him
FM: id always be waiting for him to show up
FM: he used to do that every now and then
FM: disappear
FM: show up at my hive a few sleep cycles later bleeding and looking like he hadn’t slept in a perigee
FM: said he’d been fighting his kismesis
FM: but if zb isn’t responsible then where is he?
OM: I...
OM: I’m sorry.
OM: I can’t help you.
FM: oh god im sorry!
FM: i didnt mean to start jamming
FM: oh no
FM: oh god
FM: no offense but youre not my moirail
OM: None taken.
FM: i just
FM: i dont know what to do
FM: im sorry
FM: id talk to dp about it but
FM: i cant help it i just need someone to talk to so bad
FM: im doing it again im so sorry
FM: ill shut up now
OM: For what it’s worth, Deveric intends to find him.
FM: thats not really reassuring
OM: Deveric is an honorable kismesis.
OM: If Cerzek is in bad shape when he finds him, Deveric will not take advantage of his weakness.
OM: It is more than likely that Deveric will be preoccupied with Cerzek’s kidnapper anyway.
FM: well then
OM: Even if I have misjudged Deveric...
OM: I haven’t told him yet, but I mean to help.
FM: because hes blue?
OM: He insists he’s green.
OM: But no.
OM: Because he’s my moirail.
OM: Not all my decisions are based around the hemospectrum, you know.
FM: well then
OM: I haven’t told him because I don’t yet know if I will be able.
OM: My powers are unreliable at best.
FM: i should
FM: probably help too
FM: even though i dont want to cooperate with my moirails kismesis >|
FM: but i dont know what i can do
FM: my powers cant help find him |(
OM: You know most of the people he might have been talking to.
OM: It is probable that this is a personal grudge, rather than a simple culling.
OM: Ask around.
OM: Your powers might not be useful in finding your moirail, but they may be crucial in rescuing him.
FM: if theres anything left to rescue |(
OM: I cannot comfort you, but I trust my moirail.
OM: If there is any possibility of this ending well, Deveric will ensure it.
OM: It will work out.
FM: i hope so
OM: It’s nearly daylight.
OM: You should sleep.
FM: youre right
FM: i cant help dp if i cant think for lack of sleep
FM: good morning
FM:
OM:

[SkaianRedeemer]

Is it okay for this to be here, since there's no canon characters? I wasn't sure where else to put it.

People keep asking this. I do not think fanfiction means what they think it means, that this has to be asked, in every fandom I have ever been a part of, but especially this one. Who is responsible for this misconception? I challenge them to Mary Sues at dawn!

...ah, who'm I kidding, I'm not awake at dawn.

I wanted to read the fic, but oneiromanticMastery's text colour is really quite unreadable. You seem to have custom-picked it but I just... no. It's not working for me. I suppose I could Doc Scratch the thing but I'm not all that fond of him either.


EDIT: Shit, post 1111. I was hoping to hold off on that until the last Day Before the Day. Crap, crap, what am I gonna... uh...


The Day Before the Day
Part ??

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Your name is uranianUmbra and no wait, no it isn't.

Your name is. ...is...

U~U

Wow, you really have nothing. Like... nothing. No name, no identity, just a quirk and an off-grey text colour belying... what, exactly? You're not sure what you look like, and you're not entirely sure what you are, either. Are you a Troll? A Human? Something else? You suppose you could be a Bug. It would be awesome if you were a Bug. Your chosen symbol seems to represent a half-dozen things at once. Your screen name a handful more. You have... nothing.

It slowly dawns on you that this is incredibly liberating!

You could be anything! You could be a scientist, a doctor, an artist, or warrior! Or you could be an assembly of dopey quirks! The dopiest quirks! Yes, you, uranianUmbra, the world's first alien otaku/masseuse/otherkin/Little Big Planet enthusiast/howitzer mechanic. (Well, okay. You've been on the internet. The world's third, at least). Yes! Until dawn tomorrow, when the man behind the fourth wall sets your personality, update by update, YOU

ARE

FREE!


> UU: Abuse freedom

...

Pickle Inspector began to sweat as Ace Dick began to close the gap between them.

"Dick..." he began to whisper. "You are... not watching the mark."

"Sometimes I can't help it, pal," Dick said, barely suggesting that he, too, was beginning to break. Keep it together, Ace, he told himself. This is a professional stakeout! You've gotta resist those urges! But he must. He must kiss that snout to establish appreciority!

Look at that thing you just wrote. That is brilliant. You are a WORDSMITH, is what you are.

[Archaeopteryx]

Oh, sorry D: I can see it fine, but I can make it darker if you're having trouble. Maybe we're on different skins?

OM's supposed to be yellow-bordering-green, and that was the only one I could find that really fit. ETA: I changed the color, is that better?

[SkaianRedeemer]

Yeah, I'm on the MSPA style, so maybe that was it.

EDIT: It's an interesting start! You should keep at it. Hopefully you will see this edit.

[Shinji Shazaki]

It's been a long while since I updated anything, and I don't have very good excuses for it. I haven't been in the best of moods or head spaces, but anyhow.

Chapter 15 of Frontierstuck: In the Hands of Royalty.

In which recoveries are made; new bodies and their problems are discussed; old wounds are touched on; a war meeting is called; and the terms for victory are set.

Also known as chapter 15 of 16.

Enjoy.

[Raikonos]

I don't know what it is, but I have this fascination with altbloods and altkids. A while back, I decided to just pick some at random and write pesterlogs. Just now I wrote a fourth one and was like, hey, why don't I throw these up on the forums? Then I did, and that's why these words are here. Anyway!


Randomly picked: Greenblood Terezi and John Lalonde:

show spoiler

hide spoiler

grinningCheshire [GC] began trolling eldritchBehavior [EB]

GC: H3LLO JOHN HUMAN!
GC: >:D
EB: oh, good.
EB: another one.
EB: hold on, let me free up my schedule for you.
GC: SCH3DUL3?
EB: yes.
EB: i make sure to keep my conversations within a strict timetable.
EB: humans as a species are notoriously well-organized.
EB: i would have thought even a ragtag animosity-based(?) alien invasion force such as yours might have taken the time to learn such a simple fact about their enemy.
GC: >:?
GC: I HAV3 NO ID3A WHAT YOU AR3 TALKING ABOUT
EB: oh, sorry.
EB: i thought we were still playing that game where you pretend to be aliens.
EB: i mean, you DID call me "john human".
GC: W3 *AR3* ALI3NS!!
GC: FROM YOUR P3RSP3CTIV3, AT L3AST
GC: JUST NOT THAT THING YOU SAID
GC: W3 DONT WANT TO INVAD3 YOU, THATS CRAZY!
GC: AND IMPOSSIBL3!
EB: okay well, thanks for clearing that up.
EB: in the interest of promoting cross-species understanding, i should confess that the thing i said earlier about humans being organized is a total bullshit lie.
EB: now we’re both liars!
GC: BOTH OF US?
GC: >:?
EB: of course.
EB: me with that, and you with this alien shtick that you all insist on.
GC: DX<
GC: BUT YOU W3R3 *JUST* TALKING ABOUT CROSS-SP3CI3S UND3RSTANDING!
EB: that was what we humans call "a joke".
GC: W3LL IT WASNT A V3RY GOOD ONE
EB: yeah, i agree.
EB: not my best material.
EB: although in my defense, it was on short notice.
EB: anyway, i assume you had a reason for pestering me?
EB: i like to give you all enough time for me to gauge your relative shittiness as a troll, for my future reference.
GC: >:O
GC: THATS A T3RRIBL3 THING TO SAY!
GC: ITS LIK3 M3 SAYING OH WOW YOU AR3 JUST THE SHITTI3ST HUMAN IV3 3V3R TALK3D TO
GC: ITS RUD3 AND UNN3C3SSARY!
EB: alright, now i’m the one confused.
EB: and even though i know it’ll probably involve more alien role-playing on your part, i’m still going to ask anyway.
EB: how did you come to a weird comparison like that?
GC: HOW WOULDNT I?
GC: UNL3SS TROLL M3ANS SOM3THING DIFF3R3NT TO YOU
EB: a troll is what you are.
GC: Y3S
EB: a person who harasses others for their own amusement.
GC: WAIT WHAT
GC: NO NO NO!
GC: TROLL IS WHAT MY SP3CI3S IS CALLED!!
EB: hahaha, oh wow.
EB: you guys aren’t even TRYING to be subtle about this.
EB: SPACE TROLLS FROM OUTER SPACE
EB: it’s not even aggravating anymore, it’s just kind of funny.
EB: so i suppose the fact that you harass others for your own amusement is just a happy coincidence, then.
GC: >:[
GC: BUT I DONT!
GC: STOP ASSUMING THAT IM GOING TO DO THAT JUST B3CAUS3 SOM3 OF MY FRI3NDS AR3 ASSHOL3S!!
GC: ITS RACIST
EB: you’re right, sorry.
EB: i don’t know you well enough.
EB: although, pulling the racism card?
EB: for THIS?
EB: whatever you say, dude.
GC: IM A GIRL
EB: oh?
EB: alright, noted.
EB: also noted: troll-aliens have the same genders as humans.
GC: HOW IS THAT NOTABL3?
EB: two entirely distinct planets developing the exact same genders through parallel evolution?
EB: i’m no zoologist, but to me that seems
EB: dubious.
EB: (oh god my friends would kill me if they saw i made that pun)
GC: >:3
GC: ALSO THOS3 SOUND LIK3 BAD FRI3NDS!
EB: i didn’t mean literall-
EB: wait, let me guess.
EB: people (TROLLS!!!) get killed left and right on the troll planet?
GC: KIND OF SORT OF
GC: NOT B3CAUS3 OF STUPID THINGS LIK3 THAT THOUGH!
GC: W3LL NOT USUALLY >:S
GC: I M3AN, I KNOW IM APPLYING MY CULTURAL NORMS WH3R3 TH3Y DONT FIT, BUT CULLING OV3R A BAD JOK3 JUST S33MS P3TTY TO M3
EB: don’t you fret over it, missy!
EB: down here on the rational human planet, nobody gets killed ever!
EB: whoops, i mean culled. apparently.
GC: R3ALLY>? >:o
EB: no, not really.
EB: but it’s not whatever kind of post-apocalyptic dystopian mad max george orwell whatever-the-fuck you have on your fake planet that doesn’t exist.
GC: >:\
GC: ON3 DAY YOULL B3LI3V3 US
GC: AND TH3N W3 CAN H3LP 3ACH OTH3R!
EB: with what?
GC: CANT T3LL YOU Y3T
GC: >;]
EB: well, whatever.
EB: the day i believe you is the day a meteorite lands on my roof.
EB: in other words, not impossible, but pretty goddamn unlikely.
GC: NOT AS UNLIK3LY AS YOU MIGHT THINK
EB: hm?
GC: >;]
EB: hm.
EB: so you never actually told me why you pestered me.
GC: OH Y3AH
GC: BASICALLY I JUST WANT3D TO INTRODUC3 MYS3LF
GC: G3T INTRODUCTIONS OUT OF TH3 WAY SO YOU KNOW WHO I AM LAT3R
EB: oh, alright.
EB: hello space alien lady, my name is john.
EB: but you already knew that.
GC: I SHOULD PROBABLY INTRODUC3 MYS3LF PROP3RLY, SINC3 I ALR3ADY KNOW WHO YOU AR3
GC: CROSS-SP3CI3S UND3RSTANDING AND ALL THAT
EB: yes, quite.
GC: H3LLO JOHN, MY NAM3 IS T3R3ZI
EB: how do you pronounce that, with the threes?
GC: >:\
GC: TEREZI
EB: oooh.
EB: well, that sure SOUNDS like an alien name.
EB: hey, speaking of introductions, mind telling me a bit about your alien thing?
EB: i want some basic info so i can befuddle your asshole friends.
GC: HAHA
GC: SUR3!
GC: >:3
EB: oh shit.
EB: scratch that.
EB: i think i just heard my mom coming in.
GC: WHAT IS THAT?
GC: IS IT LIK3 A CUSTODIAN?
EB: uh, yeah.
EB: sure.
EB: anyway, we’ll have to talk later.
EB: this is going to be an ordeal.
GC: WHY?
EB: because it always is.
GC: W3LL ALRIGHT
GC: TALK TO YOU IN A MINUT3 TH3N
EB: haha, no, this is going to take a bit longer than that.
GC: I M3ANT FOR M3
GC: PROBABLY A F3W DAYS OR SO FOR YOU
EB: oh yeah, the time thing.
EB: you’ll have to explain that too.
GC: SUR3 THING!!
EB: anyway, bye.
EB: for the record, so far you’re the best troll by virtue of not being a troll at all.
GC: >:D

eldritchBehavior [EB] ceased being trolled by grinningCheshire [GC]

Switcheroo: Mutantblood Eridan and Seadweller Karkat:

show spoiler

hide spoiler

contrarianGovernullifier [CG] began trolling chromaticallyAmbiguous [CA]

CG: HEY.
CA: whoa kar
CA: didnt expect you to be talkin to me
CG: WWHAT.
CG: WWHY WWOULDN’T I BE TALKING TO YOU.
CG: YOU KNOWW, ASIDE FROM YOUR USUAL SELF-LOATHING BULLSHIT.
CA: well i dunno i just figured youd have better things to be doin than checkin up on me
CA: considerin your rank and all
CG: OH MY FUCKING
CG: LOOK, HOWW MANY TIMES DO I HAVVE TO SAY THIS?
CG: I DON’T GIVVE A SHIT ABOUT THE FUCKING HEMOSPECTRUM.
CG: NOT ONE.
CG: NOT ONE SINGLE SOLITARY SHIT DO I GIVVE.
CA: why not
CA: that shits pretty important dont you think
CG: NO.
CG: NO I DON’T.
CG: WWHY ARE YOU NOT GETTING THIS YET?
CA: but youre a fuckin seadweller
CA: i dont get how you can have that royal blood in your veins and not care about the caste system
CA: while i keep on respectin my place in society with a blood color like
CA: fuck nevermind
CG: OKAY I KNOWW EXACTLY WWHAT YOU THINK I’M GOING TO ASK, AND I’M GOING TO SAY RIGHT NOWW
CG: WWHATEVVER COLOR YOUR BLOOD IS, IT DOESN’T CHANGE ANYTHING.
CG: YOU COULD BE MAROON OR GREEN OR TYRIAN FUCKING PURPLE FOR ALL I CARE.
CG: THE IMPORTANT THING IS KEEPING US ALL ALIVVE.
CA: so you aint the slightest bit curious what color a blood ive got swillin around in me
CG: NO.
CG: OKAY YES A LITTLE BIT.
CG: MOSTLY BECAUSE YOU KEEP BEING SO CAGEY ABOUT IT.
CG: BUT NOT ENOUGH TO START SOME KIND OF ROYAL INQUISITION.
CA: oh god please tell me you wouldnt
CG: WWHAT.
CG: OF COURSE NOT.
CG: THAT WWOULD BE FUCKING UNCONSCIONABLE.
CG: WWHAT KIND OF FRIEND WWOULD I BE?
CA: okay good
CG: BESIDES, NOT LIKE I HAVVE THE RESOURCES FOR ONE ANYWWAY.
CG: WWHAT WWITH THE APOCALYPSE.
CA: heh
CA: yeah i guess
CA: so were we talkin about somethin before all this
CG: OH YEAH, THE ENTIRE POINT OF THIS CONVVERSATION, I FORGOT.
CG: BASICALLY I’M JUST MAKING SURE YOU GOT INTO THE MEDIUM.
CA: yeah im here
CG: ALRIGHT GOOD.
CG: I’VVE GOT TO GO.
CG: GOOD LUCK.
CA: wait kar
CA: i have no idea what im doin over here
CG: I DON’T HAVVE TIME TO HANDHOLD YOU THROUGH THIS LIKE A LITTLE WWIGGLER.
CG: JUST TALK TO YOUR SPRITE.
CA: my what
CG: THE GHOST THING THAT THE FLASHING SEIZURE BALL TURNED INTO WWHEN YOU ENTERED.
CG: YOUR LUSUS, PRETTY MUCH.
CG: SPRITES KNOWW EVVERYTHING.
CA: oh cool
CA: thanks kar
CG: TWWO QUICK THINGS BEFORE I GO.
CG: FIRST, IF YOU EVVER DECIDE TO TELL ME YOUR BLOOD COLOR, I SWWEAR I WWON’T JUDGE YOU ON IT.
CG: BLOOD DOESN’T MEAN A THING TO ME.
CA: well
CA: maybe eventually
CG: AND SECOND
CG: STOP BEING SUCH A WWHINY ASSHOLE, FOR FUCK’S SAKE.

contrarianGovernullifier [CG] ceased trolling chromaticallyAmbiguous [CA]

Swap with patron troll: Kate Marione (Kanaya) and Rozeli Lelend (Rose):

show spoiler

hide spoiler

-- tellurianTravesty [TT] began trolling groundedAbomination [GA] --

TT: Why is it that when the subject of temporal mechanics is broached, your sparing human intellects blah blah blah.
GA: ?
TT: Sorry, I was supposed to go on this whole rant about how your species is stupid and can’t understand simple concepts like advanced temporal mechanics.
TT: But really this whole thing just seems asinine.
GA: Well
GA: Im Glad You Saved Us Both Some Time That Can Now Be Better Spend Hating Each Other
GA: Or Whatever It Is You So Called Aliens Do
GA: I Suppose Im Working Off The Assumption That You Are One Of The Trolls Who Constantly Harass My Friends And I
TT: Yes.
TT: If you want to talk about our advanced system of romance and emotion, you’d be better off talking to Jonnhe.
TT: Dude LOVES that stuff.
GA: Who
TT: EB.
GA: Ah
GA: I Think I Might
GA: If Only Out Of Morbid Curiosity
GA: I Wouldnt Put It Past You To Have Actually Thought Up Some Weird Culture For Your Pretend Alien Role Play
TT: Damn, and we were doing so well.
TT: Or maybe that was just wishful thinking on my part.
TT: At any rate, it’s impossible for me to convince you that we’re not just a bunch of humans dwelling in a subterranean block somewhere, bothering you purely for our own amusement.
GA: Finally One Of You Stops This Charade
GA: Or At Least Puts It On Hiatus For One Conversation
TT: Oh no, we are totally aliens.
TT: I just meant that, because I manage to convince you of such in your future, there’s no point in trying now.
TT: It’s a temporal impossibility.
GA: Damn
GA: And We Were Doing So Well
TT: Quiet, you.
TT: I’m trying to be as cordial as possible.
TT: Which is basically the opposite of what I’m supposed to be doing here.
GA: Okay So
GA: If Your Intent Is Not To Bother Me
GA: Then Why Contact Me At All
GA: Surely I Would Be Even Less Bothered If You Were All To Just Leave Me Alone
TT: Yes, but sadly this is a necessity.
TT: Because of the time thing, and also because of the game you’re playing.
GA: Sburb
TT: Yes.
TT: I hesitate to even call it a game at this point.
TT: But that’s neither here nor there.
GA: So What Are You Trying To Accomplish Here
TT: Laying groundwork, mostly.
GA: Groundwork
GA: ?
TT: Yes.
TT: All good friendships need a solid foundation.
TT: Oh, I forgot to mention that we become friends at some point.
GA: Ha Ha Ha
GA: Well You Certainly Are Funny
GA: I Will Give You That
TT: I don’t expect you to believe a word of this right now.
TT: The whole point of me talking to you right now is to introduce myself and extend one of your human olive branches.
TT: Although as an aside, you put a game in your computer today that transported you to a magical glowing land of whimsy, and are now fighting monsters.
TT: Isn’t it conceivable that there might be aliens as well?
GA: I Dont Know
GA: Probably Not
TT: This is going to be hard, I can tell.
TT: I’m going to go talk to you in the future when we’re already friends, to remind myself just why I’m bothering with this.
GA: You Do That

-- tellurianTravesty [TT] ceased trolling groundedAbomination [GA] --

And the one I just wrote, Everyone is Dave (Davestuck): Dave Egbert and Dave Vantas:

show spoiler

hide spoiler

thwartedGrief [TG] began trolling trickyGhostbuster [TG]

TG: hey asshole
TG: its me
TG: god
TG: and i have some great news
TG: god hates you
TG: i dont throw that word around lightly
TG: im not the kind of guy who gets caliginous at a table leg because i stubbed my toe
TG: my hate has substance
TG: i watched your life
TG: i watched you grow up
TG: on your bright planet with your big nosed man-lusus
TG: for sweeps and sweeps i watched you
TG: looking for even the faintest sign that you might not be a worthless piece of garbage
TG: i think i gave up hope around the time you got up in the middle of the night to draw clowns all over your walls
TG: like you actively woke up out of your weird cloth coccoon just to do something that would piss me off
TG: the last few weeks have made me pretty fucking jaded against clowns so maybe that was a bit unfair
TG: but when the entire rest of your life was just as disappointing and infuriating i honestly cant bring myself to care
TG: i wish i could make you understand just how MUCH i hate you
TG: there has never been a language in the history of either of our species that can accurately convey my absolute disgust with everything you do
TG: the only way to express it would be with poetry
TG: slam poetry
TG: fresh out of the chillest most dope rhyme tubules of the illest freestyle horrorterror mc in the furthest rizzle
TG: (thats the furthest ring by the way)
TG: (wasnt convinced youd catch that)
TG: i was in a bad mood the entire time my team played this stupid game
TG: and upon reflection i might have been so enraged upon seeing you for the first time that my anger went back in time and gave me a migraine
TG: my hate for a person i had never met
TG: you
TG: was so great that it drove me to go without sleep for a month just so i could make your universe and allow paradox space to see what a bad idea it had when it came up with you
TG: my rage flows through your blood
TG: pulses under your feet
TG: whistles above your head
TG: and permeates every subatomic particle in your entire goddamn reality
TG: i guess what im trying to get across here is
TG: i dont like you very much
TG: dont care

trickyGhostbuster [TG] blocked thwartedGrief [TG]

[billybobfred]

Everyone is Dave (Davestuck)

This is the best thing.

Well, they're all pretty cool, but this one is the best of the four.

[SkaianRedeemer]

Man, I am not touching that autoresponder, but if anyone wants to write a conversation between scratch!Bro and Autorespondersprite, go ahead. Also, I just flubbed an awesome TG (Dave), TG (Davesprite) and TG (scratch!Mom) pesterlog I was writing in my head and then promptly forgot. Really, I'm quite disappointed.


@Raikonos: That last universe is the best universe. Ever.

[mutecebu]

I don't know what it is, but I have this fascination with altbloods and altkids. A while back, I decided to just pick some at random and write pesterlogs. Just now I wrote a fourth one and was like, hey, why don't I throw these up on the forums? Then I did, and that's why these words are here. Anyway!


Randomly picked: Greenblood Terezi and John Lalonde:

show spoiler

hide spoiler

grinningCheshire [GC] began trolling eldritchBehavior [EB]

GC: H3LLO JOHN HUMAN!
GC: >
EB: oh, good.
EB: another one.
EB: hold on, let me free up my schedule for you.
GC: SCH3DUL3?
EB: yes.
EB: i make sure to keep my conversations within a strict timetable.
EB: humans as a species are notoriously well-organized.
EB: i would have thought even a ragtag animosity-based(?) alien invasion force such as yours might have taken the time to learn such a simple fact about their enemy.
GC: >
GC: I HAV3 NO ID3A WHAT YOU AR3 TALKING ABOUT
EB: oh, sorry.
EB: i thought we were still playing that game where you pretend to be aliens.
EB: i mean, you DID call me "john human".
GC: W3 *AR3* ALI3NS!!
GC: FROM YOUR P3RSP3CTIV3, AT L3AST
GC: JUST NOT THAT THING YOU SAID
GC: W3 DONT WANT TO INVAD3 YOU, THATS CRAZY!
GC: AND IMPOSSIBL3!
EB: okay well, thanks for clearing that up.
EB: in the interest of promoting cross-species understanding, i should confess that the thing i said earlier about humans being organized is a total bullshit lie.
EB: now we’re both liars!
GC: BOTH OF US?
GC: >
EB: of course.
EB: me with that, and you with this alien shtick that you all insist on.
GC: DX<
GC: BUT YOU W3R3 *JUST* TALKING ABOUT CROSS-SP3CI3S UND3RSTANDING!
EB: that was what we humans call "a joke".
GC: W3LL IT WASNT A V3RY GOOD ONE
EB: yeah, i agree.
EB: not my best material.
EB: although in my defense, it was on short notice.
EB: anyway, i assume you had a reason for pestering me?
EB: i like to give you all enough time for me to gauge your relative shittiness as a troll, for my future reference.
GC: >:O
GC: THATS A T3RRIBL3 THING TO SAY!
GC: ITS LIK3 M3 SAYING OH WOW YOU AR3 JUST THE SHITTI3ST HUMAN IV3 3V3R TALK3D TO
GC: ITS RUD3 AND UNN3C3SSARY!
EB: alright, now i’m the one confused.
EB: and even though i know it’ll probably involve more alien role-playing on your part, i’m still going to ask anyway.
EB: how did you come to a weird comparison like that?
GC: HOW WOULDNT I?
GC: UNL3SS TROLL M3ANS SOM3THING DIFF3R3NT TO YOU
EB: a troll is what you are.
GC: Y3S
EB: a person who harasses others for their own amusement.
GC: WAIT WHAT
GC: NO NO NO!
GC: TROLL IS WHAT MY SP3CI3S IS CALLED!!
EB: hahaha, oh wow.
EB: you guys aren’t even TRYING to be subtle about this.
EB: SPACE TROLLS FROM OUTER SPACE
EB: it’s not even aggravating anymore, it’s just kind of funny.
EB: so i suppose the fact that you harass others for your own amusement is just a happy coincidence, then.
GC: >:[
GC: BUT I DONT!
GC: STOP ASSUMING THAT IM GOING TO DO THAT JUST B3CAUS3 SOM3 OF MY FRI3NDS AR3 ASSHOL3S!!
GC: ITS RACIST
EB: you’re right, sorry.
EB: i don’t know you well enough.
EB: although, pulling the racism card?
EB: for THIS?
EB: whatever you say, dude.
GC: IM A GIRL
EB: oh?
EB: alright, noted.
EB: also noted: troll-aliens have the same genders as humans.
GC: HOW IS THAT NOTABL3?
EB: two entirely distinct planets developing the exact same genders through parallel evolution?
EB: i’m no zoologist, but to me that seems
EB: dubious.
EB: (oh god my friends would kill me if they saw i made that pun)
GC: >:3
GC: ALSO THOS3 SOUND LIK3 BAD FRI3NDS!
EB: i didn’t mean literall-
EB: wait, let me guess.
EB: people (TROLLS!!!) get killed left and right on the troll planet?
GC: KIND OF SORT OF
GC: NOT B3CAUS3 OF STUPID THINGS LIK3 THAT THOUGH!
GC: W3LL NOT USUALLY >:S
GC: I M3AN, I KNOW IM APPLYING MY CULTURAL NORMS WH3R3 TH3Y DONT FIT, BUT CULLING OV3R A BAD JOK3 JUST S33MS P3TTY TO M3
EB: don’t you fret over it, missy!
EB: down here on the rational human planet, nobody gets killed ever!
EB: whoops, i mean culled. apparently.
GC: R3ALLY>? >
EB: no, not really.
EB: but it’s not whatever kind of post-apocalyptic dystopian mad max george orwell whatever-the-fuck you have on your fake planet that doesn’t exist.
GC: >:\
GC: ON3 DAY YOULL B3LI3V3 US
GC: AND TH3N W3 CAN H3LP 3ACH OTH3R!
EB: with what?
GC: CANT T3LL YOU Y3T
GC: >;]
EB: well, whatever.
EB: the day i believe you is the day a meteorite lands on my roof.
EB: in other words, not impossible, but pretty goddamn unlikely.
GC: NOT AS UNLIK3LY AS YOU MIGHT THINK
EB: hm?
GC: >;]
EB: hm.
EB: so you never actually told me why you pestered me.
GC: OH Y3AH
GC: BASICALLY I JUST WANT3D TO INTRODUC3 MYS3LF
GC: G3T INTRODUCTIONS OUT OF TH3 WAY SO YOU KNOW WHO I AM LAT3R
EB: oh, alright.
EB: hello space alien lady, my name is john.
EB: but you already knew that.
GC: I SHOULD PROBABLY INTRODUC3 MYS3LF PROP3RLY, SINC3 I ALR3ADY KNOW WHO YOU AR3
GC: CROSS-SP3CI3S UND3RSTANDING AND ALL THAT
EB: yes, quite.
GC: H3LLO JOHN, MY NAM3 IS T3R3ZI
EB: how do you pronounce that, with the threes?
GC: >:\
GC: TEREZI
EB: oooh.
EB: well, that sure SOUNDS like an alien name.
EB: hey, speaking of introductions, mind telling me a bit about your alien thing?
EB: i want some basic info so i can befuddle your asshole friends.
GC: HAHA
GC: SUR3!
GC: >:3
EB: oh shit.
EB: scratch that.
EB: i think i just heard my mom coming in.
GC: WHAT IS THAT?
GC: IS IT LIK3 A CUSTODIAN?
EB: uh, yeah.
EB: sure.
EB: anyway, we’ll have to talk later.
EB: this is going to be an ordeal.
GC: WHY?
EB: because it always is.
GC: W3LL ALRIGHT
GC: TALK TO YOU IN A MINUT3 TH3N
EB: haha, no, this is going to take a bit longer than that.
GC: I M3ANT FOR M3
GC: PROBABLY A F3W DAYS OR SO FOR YOU
EB: oh yeah, the time thing.
EB: you’ll have to explain that too.
GC: SUR3 THING!!
EB: anyway, bye.
EB: for the record, so far you’re the best troll by virtue of not being a troll at all.
GC: >

eldritchBehavior [EB] ceased being trolled by grinningCheshire [GC]

Switcheroo: Mutantblood Eridan and Seadweller Karkat:

show spoiler

hide spoiler

contrarianGovernullifier [CG] began trolling chromaticallyAmbiguous [CA]

CG: HEY.
CA: whoa kar
CA: didnt expect you to be talkin to me
CG: WWHAT.
CG: WWHY WWOULDN’T I BE TALKING TO YOU.
CG: YOU KNOWW, ASIDE FROM YOUR USUAL SELF-LOATHING BULLSHIT.
CA: well i dunno i just figured youd have better things to be doin than checkin up on me
CA: considerin your rank and all
CG: OH MY FUCKING
CG: LOOK, HOWW MANY TIMES DO I HAVVE TO SAY THIS?
CG: I DON’T GIVVE A SHIT ABOUT THE FUCKING HEMOSPECTRUM.
CG: NOT ONE.
CG: NOT ONE SINGLE SOLITARY SHIT DO I GIVVE.
CA: why not
CA: that shits pretty important dont you think
CG: NO.
CG: NO I DON’T.
CG: WWHY ARE YOU NOT GETTING THIS YET?
CA: but youre a fuckin seadweller
CA: i dont get how you can have that royal blood in your veins and not care about the caste system
CA: while i keep on respectin my place in society with a blood color like
CA: fuck nevermind
CG: OKAY I KNOWW EXACTLY WWHAT YOU THINK I’M GOING TO ASK, AND I’M GOING TO SAY RIGHT NOWW
CG: WWHATEVVER COLOR YOUR BLOOD IS, IT DOESN’T CHANGE ANYTHING.
CG: YOU COULD BE MAROON OR GREEN OR TYRIAN FUCKING PURPLE FOR ALL I CARE.
CG: THE IMPORTANT THING IS KEEPING US ALL ALIVVE.
CA: so you aint the slightest bit curious what color a blood ive got swillin around in me
CG: NO.
CG: OKAY YES A LITTLE BIT.
CG: MOSTLY BECAUSE YOU KEEP BEING SO CAGEY ABOUT IT.
CG: BUT NOT ENOUGH TO START SOME KIND OF ROYAL INQUISITION.
CA: oh god please tell me you wouldnt
CG: WWHAT.
CG: OF COURSE NOT.
CG: THAT WWOULD BE FUCKING UNCONSCIONABLE.
CG: WWHAT KIND OF FRIEND WWOULD I BE?
CA: okay good
CG: BESIDES, NOT LIKE I HAVVE THE RESOURCES FOR ONE ANYWWAY.
CG: WWHAT WWITH THE APOCALYPSE.
CA: heh
CA: yeah i guess
CA: so were we talkin about somethin before all this
CG: OH YEAH, THE ENTIRE POINT OF THIS CONVVERSATION, I FORGOT.
CG: BASICALLY I’M JUST MAKING SURE YOU GOT INTO THE MEDIUM.
CA: yeah im here
CG: ALRIGHT GOOD.
CG: I’VVE GOT TO GO.
CG: GOOD LUCK.
CA: wait kar
CA: i have no idea what im doin over here
CG: I DON’T HAVVE TIME TO HANDHOLD YOU THROUGH THIS LIKE A LITTLE WWIGGLER.
CG: JUST TALK TO YOUR SPRITE.
CA: my what
CG: THE GHOST THING THAT THE FLASHING SEIZURE BALL TURNED INTO WWHEN YOU ENTERED.
CG: YOUR LUSUS, PRETTY MUCH.
CG: SPRITES KNOWW EVVERYTHING.
CA: oh cool
CA: thanks kar
CG: TWWO QUICK THINGS BEFORE I GO.
CG: FIRST, IF YOU EVVER DECIDE TO TELL ME YOUR BLOOD COLOR, I SWWEAR I WWON’T JUDGE YOU ON IT.
CG: BLOOD DOESN’T MEAN A THING TO ME.
CA: well
CA: maybe eventually
CG: AND SECOND
CG: STOP BEING SUCH A WWHINY ASSHOLE, FOR FUCK’S SAKE.

contrarianGovernullifier [CG] ceased trolling chromaticallyAmbiguous [CA]

Swap with patron troll: Kate Marione (Kanaya) and Rozeli Lelend (Rose):

show spoiler

hide spoiler

-- tellurianTravesty [TT] began trolling groundedAbomination [GA] --

TT: Why is it that when the subject of temporal mechanics is broached, your sparing human intellects blah blah blah.
GA: ?
TT: Sorry, I was supposed to go on this whole rant about how your species is stupid and can’t understand simple concepts like advanced temporal mechanics.
TT: But really this whole thing just seems asinine.
GA: Well
GA: Im Glad You Saved Us Both Some Time That Can Now Be Better Spend Hating Each Other
GA: Or Whatever It Is You So Called Aliens Do
GA: I Suppose Im Working Off The Assumption That You Are One Of The Trolls Who Constantly Harass My Friends And I
TT: Yes.
TT: If you want to talk about our advanced system of romance and emotion, you’d be better off talking to Jonnhe.
TT: Dude LOVES that stuff.
GA: Who
TT: EB.
GA: Ah
GA: I Think I Might
GA: If Only Out Of Morbid Curiosity
GA: I Wouldnt Put It Past You To Have Actually Thought Up Some Weird Culture For Your Pretend Alien Role Play
TT: Damn, and we were doing so well.
TT: Or maybe that was just wishful thinking on my part.
TT: At any rate, it’s impossible for me to convince you that we’re not just a bunch of humans dwelling in a subterranean block somewhere, bothering you purely for our own amusement.
GA: Finally One Of You Stops This Charade
GA: Or At Least Puts It On Hiatus For One Conversation
TT: Oh no, we are totally aliens.
TT: I just meant that, because I manage to convince you of such in your future, there’s no point in trying now.
TT: It’s a temporal impossibility.
GA: Damn
GA: And We Were Doing So Well
TT: Quiet, you.
TT: I’m trying to be as cordial as possible.
TT: Which is basically the opposite of what I’m supposed to be doing here.
GA: Okay So
GA: If Your Intent Is Not To Bother Me
GA: Then Why Contact Me At All
GA: Surely I Would Be Even Less Bothered If You Were All To Just Leave Me Alone
TT: Yes, but sadly this is a necessity.
TT: Because of the time thing, and also because of the game you’re playing.
GA: Sburb
TT: Yes.
TT: I hesitate to even call it a game at this point.
TT: But that’s neither here nor there.
GA: So What Are You Trying To Accomplish Here
TT: Laying groundwork, mostly.
GA: Groundwork
GA: ?
TT: Yes.
TT: All good friendships need a solid foundation.
TT: Oh, I forgot to mention that we become friends at some point.
GA: Ha Ha Ha
GA: Well You Certainly Are Funny
GA: I Will Give You That
TT: I don’t expect you to believe a word of this right now.
TT: The whole point of me talking to you right now is to introduce myself and extend one of your human olive branches.
TT: Although as an aside, you put a game in your computer today that transported you to a magical glowing land of whimsy, and are now fighting monsters.
TT: Isn’t it conceivable that there might be aliens as well?
GA: I Dont Know
GA: Probably Not
TT: This is going to be hard, I can tell.
TT: I’m going to go talk to you in the future when we’re already friends, to remind myself just why I’m bothering with this.
GA: You Do That

-- tellurianTravesty [TT] ceased trolling groundedAbomination [GA] --

And the one I just wrote, Everyone is Dave (Davestuck): Dave Egbert and Dave Vantas:

show spoiler

hide spoiler

thwartedGrief [TG] began trolling trickyGhostbuster [TG]

TG: hey asshole
TG: its me
TG: god
TG: and i have some great news
TG: god hates you
TG: i dont throw that word around lightly
TG: im not the kind of guy who gets caliginous at a table leg because i stubbed my toe
TG: my hate has substance
TG: i watched your life
TG: i watched you grow up
TG: on your bright planet with your big nosed man-lusus
TG: for sweeps and sweeps i watched you
TG: looking for even the faintest sign that you might not be a worthless piece of garbage
TG: i think i gave up hope around the time you got up in the middle of the night to draw clowns all over your walls
TG: like you actively woke up out of your weird cloth coccoon just to do something that would piss me off
TG: the last few weeks have made me pretty fucking jaded against clowns so maybe that was a bit unfair
TG: but when the entire rest of your life was just as disappointing and infuriating i honestly cant bring myself to care
TG: i wish i could make you understand just how MUCH i hate you
TG: there has never been a language in the history of either of our species that can accurately convey my absolute disgust with everything you do
TG: the only way to express it would be with poetry
TG: slam poetry
TG: fresh out of the chillest most dope rhyme tubules of the illest freestyle horrorterror mc in the furthest rizzle
TG: (thats the furthest ring by the way)
TG: (wasnt convinced youd catch that)
TG: i was in a bad mood the entire time my team played this stupid game
TG: and upon reflection i might have been so enraged upon seeing you for the first time that my anger went back in time and gave me a migraine
TG: my hate for a person i had never met
TG: you
TG: was so great that it drove me to go without sleep for a month just so i could make your universe and allow paradox space to see what a bad idea it had when it came up with you
TG: my rage flows through your blood
TG: pulses under your feet
TG: whistles above your head
TG: and permeates every subatomic particle in your entire goddamn reality
TG: i guess what im trying to get across here is
TG: i dont like you very much
TG: dont care

trickyGhostbuster [TG] blocked thwartedGrief [TG]

I really love all of these things. I will continue to read all of said things as they appear on my browser-screen.

[Raikonos]

And on a familiar world, reborn from the ashes of the apocalypse by the valiant efforts of four uncannily identical children...

show spoiler

hide spoiler

TT: Wait, hold on a second.
TT: You are Strider’s auto responder.
TT: It seems you think I am the auto responder.
TT: You must have a reason for thinking that.
TT: Yeah.
TT: It’s because I’m English’s auto responder.
TT: Well shit.

D???stuck

[SkaianRedeemer]

@Raikonos: Hahahahahahahaha

show spoiler

hide spoiler

TT: So apparently our autoresponders got married and convinced Lalonde to cyber-embezzle $12.8 million to offshore Cayman Islands accounts before the conversation was over.
GT: Shit dickens.
GT: In our names?
TT: Which part?
TT: Wait, forget about that, that's not important.
TT: What is important is the company they robbed.
GT: Hold on jane's messaging me.
TT: No, man, that's my point, don't answer that!

-- golgothasTerror's helmet has exploded!

TT: ...Shit.

-- timaeusTestified actived autoresponder.

(Of course, both your speakers are marked TT so maybe I misinterpreted the joke?)

[Raikonos]

It was supposed to be a universe where everyone is D???, so I figured all the D???-kids would have autoresponders.

How did they even get into that situation? Silly robots.

[Graven_Image]

ALTCOLORS, ALTCOLORS EVERYWHERE

There is only one sound effect that can convey my response to this.

[SkaianRedeemer]

Ahhh, that makes more sense.

[Raikonos]

ALTCOLORS, ALTCOLORS EVERYWHERE

There is only one sound effect that can convey my response to this.

:)

:(

:?

[Graven_Image]

That is, I laughed so hard, French accents came out of my nose.

[Raikonos]

French accents are like milk in that respect, I guess. What an odd sentence I just said!

Man, one of these days, I'm going to finally write something that isn't pesterlogs. I like pesterlogs and memos and all that, but when I look at this unfinished/abandoned thing I started and realize that it's 24 pages in font size 9, I know I need to branch out a bit. I'm gonna do it, though. I can do it.

I can break these cuffs.

[mutecebu]

No, you mussn't! You must finish what you started and serve up the resulting hot steaming pile of fiction to feed our insatiable appetites!

[penguinbound]

Something A Little Special
The Science of Romance

show spoiler

hide spoiler

>Be... uh.

This was probably an awkward time to walk in on.

>Examine situation.

Well, it seems SOLLUX has taken up flushed feelings for the edge of a rooftop. But, you think he may be considering turning his heart to the ground.

>...

It's a coping mechanism shut up.

>Make him come down!

Short of going up there, you don't think that's possible. Plus, by the time you would get up there, he probably would've jumped. This is not a good situation. But at least he had the decency to tell you it was happening. You suppose.

You wave your arms and yell at him. He says something back but you can't hear him.

Why would he do this from an apartment hive.

>Troll him.

You're not sure he has a husktop with him.

>Let him fall; catch him.

Well...

Knowing physics, you are almost completely sure you'd either miss or get crushed.

You'd rather enjoy not being served with syrup.

Or permanently disabled. What a downer that would be.

>Stop setting yourself up.

For what? It's not like you're suddenly going to get paralyzed.

>Solve this situation.

You're pretty sure this is established as impossible.

>Contact someone else.

OPEN PESTERLOG:

show spoiler

hide spoiler

cuttlefishGenome [CG] began trolling adorableTiller [AT]

CG: Okay, um. Nepeta, I have a problem.
CG: And so I need you to get down to Sollux's pla--Ce. Now.
AT: um why??
CG: Well.
CG: Sollux has taken roost upon the edge of his rooftop.
CG: And may or may not be --Considering taking flight.
CG: If you are understanding my metaphor.

>Wait.

OPEN PESTERLOG:

show spoiler

hide spoiler

AT: oh god jesus what
AT: he
AT: nooo!!!!!!! no, this is so super bad. oh man.
AT: um... um, oh shit, um...
AT: okay, um, ill be right there!! just, uh
AT: stay put!!!
CG: Why would I leave?

adorableTiller [AT] ceased trolling cuttlefishGenome [CG]

>Ascend

Well, um, you aren't quite sure that'll be the smartest idea right now...

>Ascend!!

Ugh, fine!! You'll do the ascendy thingy.

>Do it with cool music!

no

>Go go go!!

Oh good lord there are so many stairs.

So

many

stairs.

You wish you would have been warned of this staircase, and its length. You're not quite sure how safe this entire thing is.

>Descend

oh god you're falling down all thess STARIS

>Ascendx2

Okay, okay, you're fine. Uh. Wait, hold on.

...

Alright, no blood. You are, indeed, fine.

>Reach the top.

You do that, in a very tired fashion.

>Save Sollux.

Wait a minute. Just. You need to catch your breath. One minute. Just gotta. Breathe.

>Hurry!!

Okay, okay, stop. Here we go.

>Grab Sollux.

You do so. He turns around and flails at you. This was not the smartest move, probably.

>Sollux: Fall.

He does that. And he takes you with him. Grabbing him may not have been the best thing. Probably.

>Nepeta: Arrive.

Oh god, oh god, oh god.

Look at what you've done!

And we're 1/3 of the way done with introductions, now.

[Raikonos]

No, you mussn't! You must finish what you started and serve up the resulting hot steaming pile of fiction to feed our insatiable appetites!

Wait, what have I started that needs finishing? That was just a handful of pesterlog ficlets between altcoloured characters. There isn't really anything concrete that needs finishing.

Unless...

Unless I endeavour to write conversations between every possible combination of all colours of every character. Very well. Let it be so. Operation Show Up ArcFour is a go.

Haha, oh god no. Although that does remind me that I've never commented on how much I've been enjoying The Game, and Those Who Play. Keep up the good work, ArcFour.

- EDIT -

penguinbound, I've been enjoying Something A Little Special so far. Again, I have a thing for altbloods. I sometimes have some trouble keeping track of who's who, though, mainly because of the shifted trolltag abbreviations but also because it's sometimes not explicitly stated which character I'm "playing" as. Like in Trashy Farmgirl Romance Novels, the identity of the chocolate blooded troll as Nepeta wasn't mentioned outside of the pesterlogs. It's certainly not incomprehensible or anything and like I said I'm enjoying the story, but a bit of hand-holding (for lack of a better term) couldn't hurt.

[gutsyGumshoe]

I wrote a quick Vriska fan-fic. It's my first fan fic for Homestuck. I just went with Vriska because I got a sudden idea. Warning: it does have blood in it (a lot), but no super-gory or graphic descriptions. No more than Homestuck usually features, anyway. It's about her first time killing a troll to feed her lusus.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Brown gushed from the cut as the young troll fell to the ground, his eyes wide in shock. A total of eight eyes were watching his descent from behind transparent lenses, following his body as it drew closer and closer to the ground. When it finally made contact, a splash of brown flew into the air. The troll died upon impact in a bloody manner, and drops of brown splattered across the viewer's face and shirt, who watched coldly. However, underneath this cold demeanor was a concealed sense of stun.

She had done it.

She had performed her first kill.

She didn't know how to feel about it. Excited? Happy? Remorseful? She did not know. However, she had done it.

It had been so simple, too. Much simpler than she had expected. She'd gone FLARPing and encountered this brown-blooded troll kid, with a very simple mind, and had simply used her powers to control his mind. It had been surprisingly easy to control him into stabbing himself and jumping off the cliff. She wondered why she'd even had him stab himself in the stomach; maybe she was worried that jumping off the cliff wouldn't be enough.

In any case, the already open wound had expanded to several times its original size due to the impact, causing enough blood loss for him to die instantly.

She had nothing personal against the kid. It had just been his bad luck to be around when it was time for her first kill. The troll girl stood in silence for a moment before she walked over to it. Somewhat hesitantly and unsure of herself, she lifted the corpse of her first victim. It was an incredibly messy affair. Almost instantly she felt brown splotches staining her hands, and she glanced down to see it smearing her shirt, covering the blue symbol on her shirt.

"Ugh," she grumbled, scowling to herself. This. Was. GROSS. Maybe having the guy throw himself off a cliff and dying wasn't such a hot idea after all. However, she'd probably have to get used to the messes until she could think of a cleaner way to kill trolls.

Feeling naturally awkward, she began dragging the body. Luckily she was still near her hive at the moment… er, near-ish. She hadn't gone too far away from it for this, her first kill, and had been pleased to find such a lowblooded troll so nearby. However, she still had quite a ways to go. Her giant, castle-like hive was still far away from here. She had only thought of it as "near" because it was visible from where she was at the moment, but just barely.

"Do I have to drag this 8ody all the way over there?" she sighed, pouting as she kept dragging it. Of course, there was no one around but the body to answer, and dead trolls can't exactly talk. Or at least not to her, anyway. "This officially sucks." She glanced at the body and noticed a trail of brown blood following her. The sight was enough to make her stop and stare at it in surprise.

Trolls wouldn't get arrested for murdering another troll. Their kind was a naturally violent one, and it wasn't unusual for a troll to die young. Besides, it wasn't like she wanted to become a murderer when she was still so young. It was just that her dear sweet custodian just happened to sustain itself on the flesh of young trolls, and from now on it would be her job to feed it. She would have to just get used to it.

Even so, it took her an hour to drag the dead troll back. By the time she finally arrived at the top of the stairs, she was covered in ugly brown blood. Thoroughly annoyed, she dropped the body onto the first step and just kicked it. It began rolling down the steps, leaving a trail of brown she'd have to clean up later, but she didn't really care about that anymore. She just followed it, kicking it whenever it stopped rolling. Finally, the corpse reached the bottom and the troll girl stood before an open doorway. She grabbed the body by the long, jagged horn and dragged it through the door.

A giant web was spun, suspended between two cliff sides. A large white spider rested in the center of the web, but upon seeing her it rose and approached her. The troll girl lifted the body and tossed it into the web, staining the silvery threads with the brown blood. "Here, take it already," she said. "It's gross." The lusus gleefully plucked the body from the web and quickly gobbled it up. Ugly brown blood stained its white mandibles as it bit down on the body, and the troll girl had to glance away, not yet used to seeing her lusus feeding. It only took two bites for it to consume the body.

The lusus let out a strange growling sound. It was as if it were saying that this would do for now, but in the future she needed to bring more. "Okay, I'll 8ring more 8loody 8odies for you next time," she muttered as she turned and began her long ascent up the stairs, not bothering to wait for it to reply. It wasn't as if they could actually talk anyway; all it would do was growl or something.

The trip up the stairs was long, and she couldn't help but notice the brown stains. She'd have a lot of cleaning up to do, she noted glumly. Not to mention she'd have to change her shirt. The brown blood had actually begun to seep through her shirt; she could feel it on her skin. It was such a dirty feeling. The minute she reached her respiteblock, she pulled her shirt off and confirmed that there were traces of the blood on her body. She quickly went to the bathroom to wash it off before putting on a new shirt, identical to the one with brown blood smeared on it.

From now on, this would be her life. She would go out and kill young trolls to feed her monstrous spider lusus. It would not be an easy life, and already she knew it would be incredibly messy and bloody. She sighed as she looked out the window of her respiteblock. Not too far off in the distance was the Alternian sea. She remembered the journal she'd found not too long ago, in the chest with her unique symbol on it. Presumably her ancestor was the one who wrote it, relating all of her adventures at sea as she traveled the world.

The troll girl felt a pang of desire at the thought. She did not really want to be Vriska Serket; she wanted to be Marquise Spinnaret Mindfang, the feared seafaring troll whose name could strike fear into the hearts of many. She wanted to be free of this fate, where she had to kill trolls just to feed her lusus, if only because it put so much pressure on her to succeed. She once thought that she'd get used to it someday, but at the moment, she was not so sure about that.

She sighed as she closed her eyes, imagining a day when she could sail across the sea, killing enemies and looting ships in search of treasure.

[ArcFour]

Raikonos, I love your altblood-pesterlogs; they're hilarious.

And I am

utterly

IN LOVE

with the fact that "Showing Up ArcFour" is a thign that some people might want to do.

*want

Also, if you want to do that, I should let you know; with the main 16 kids alone, you are looking at 256 possible characters (including the 16 originals in that).

That is 32640 conversations.

LET THE GAMES BEGIN.

[Raikonos]

ArcFour. I have two words for you.

Challenge accepted.