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Thread: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVIII: Land of Booze and Brawls

  1. #1
    Vulcan Renegade Captain Whosit's Avatar
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    TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVIII: Land of Booze and Brawls

    In no particular order.

    Welcome the Trollslum Café!

    Our Guiding Principle: We are all fans of Homestuck in general, and of the trolls in particular. We like to make fantrolls, and if we like to make fantrolls, we love to roleplay them. And so, once upon a time, this thread was created as a place to bring new, undeveloped trolls so that players could flesh them out while interacting with other characters. The primary purpose of the Café is to provide a vague social setting in which characters can meet, mingle, and talk. It is a good way to get introduced to other characters that you can then troll on trollian/pesterchum, or get involved with in a more specific RP. It can also be a decent place to hang out.

    Below are some rules that I would like you to follow when you are posting in the Café. Please read them carefully, whether you are new or old to the Café!

    1: Characters and Setting

    The Café is located somewhere on Alternia. Where exactly? Who knows, and it doesn’t really matter. It is somehow easily accessible by nearly every troll on the planet. Keep in mind that this place is located on Alternia (the troll homeworld which is populated by the troll young only) when you are developing a character for the Café. Aliens, freaks, and mutants will not last long on Alternia! Undead creatures are also not likely to be treated with compassion by living trolls. (If I did not make this clear: No humans, freaks, abominations, undead, ghosts, or crazy mutants!) Also note that adults are not allowed in the Cafe. For the purposes of this thread, a troll is an "adult" when they are 10 sweeps or older (based on what I believe is the prevailing headcanon in the fandom). Remember that there was an Imperial decree that banished all adults from the homeworld. No exceptions.

    The Cafe is also set outside any sort of Sgrub or S***b continuity. No troll should know about the game, Skaia, the moons, meteors, or humans. Save that for an actual session roleplay.

    Notice to newer players!: I highly encourage you to post a profile in the trollslum thread or in the new critique thread before starting your roleplaying experience in the Cafe. Getting some feedback on your character before you start playing them can help you make an even better character and avoid some common pitfalls newer players make!

    2: Joining the Café

    How do you join? Just post! There are no pre-requisites and no screening (for better or for worse). Just jump in, find someone who isn’t already in a scene, and start a conversation.

    3: Posting in the Café

    A few guidelines for how to post here:

    *It is generally helpful if you clearly indicate which character you are speaking to if you are initiating a conversation.

    *You can quote a previous post to enhance the clarity of your response, but please spoiler images, and do not post quote pyramids. You can be infracted for this.

    *Indicate OOC conversation by double paranthesis (()), or double brackets [[]] if you prefer, or by some other method that clearly indicates you are speaking OOC.

    *Do not post only OOC chatter. Go to the Trollslum GenChat for that.

    4: Joining a Conversation

    Before you have your character wander up to someone and start chatting, check to see if the other character is already talking, and to whom. Sometimes two characters are having a light chat and you may be able to get away with approaching them. Other times, they may be having a serious discussion and would not appreciate the intrusion. Like real-life, think carefully before you walk up to someone and interrupt them, and if they ignore you or tell you to go away, respect that!

    5: Fights
    Fights are going to need a list of rules all its own. This may very well be one of the most important sections, so please read it carefully!

    1) Avoid fights whenever possible! If there are any other viable options for your character besides “pull out a weapon,” do that instead! Yes, I’m sure you want to show off how “badass” your character is, but ultimately getting in a fight is just going to make you look silly and probably like kind of a jerk. Yes, you may be thinking that “trolls are violent pricks,” but remember that the primary purpose of the Café is to develop your character, and fights are not the best way to do that. This doesn't mean that you can't play a mean, provocative character, just know your limits!

    2) If you must engage in a fight, please contact the other player(s) by PM or your preferred chat client to try and work things out before you both start throwing posts at each other. If you have an end result you are working towards, it is less likely that your fight will completely devolve into a “show them up” contest.

    3) Follow proper etiquette! What do I mean? If you do end up in a fight, the way you describe your character acting is what may separate you from a God Moder and someone with class. Here are some dos and don’ts:

    ”I cut your character’s arm off with my sword.” Very bad! If you do something like this, you are inflicting an injury on another character without giving them a chance to respond or avoid. Basically, you’re an asshole.

    “I shoot your character in the face.” Bad. It is worded in such a way that it suggests the blow already landed.

    “I aim at your character’s face and fire.” Probably the best you can do. It explains your action and gives the other player an opportunity to dodge the attack, or not, as they wish.

    4) Don’t get involved in someone else’s fight! Unless your troll is good friends with one of the participants, it doesn’t make sense for them to get involved in someone else’s battle. On the whole, trolls are not very charitable. Group fights are just a mess and a bad idea.

    5) Don’t fight at all if you can help it! Yes, this rule warrants repeating. It is entirely possible to play a mean, jackass character without provoking a fight every time you talk to someone. BE THE BIGGER MAN (OR WOMAN)! If it looks like you’re going to start a fight, back off! Contrary to what you might think, you’ll earn more respect from your peers than if you start trying to beat the other character up.

    6: Romance

    Trolls have quadrants. Romance is gonna happen. Now, it’s not my place to tell you how to live your love (or hate) lives. However, I ask that you all keep things clean. If your characters are going to go beyond snuggling and smooching, take it to PMs, an IRC, or a private chat. I’m trying to run a respectable establishment, here.

    Addendum:
    Due to events both past and present, I am revising the rules on what should and should not be posted in the Cafe thread regarding romantic matters. Please remember that this Cafe is a public space. Think about what a person might or might not do in public: Hand holding, a light kiss, maybe a brief makeout if the couple is feeling rowdy. Trolls would not go the the Cafe solely for the purpose of making out with their significant other(s). Would you go to a restaurant or other public venue just to start eating face with someone else? If the answer is "yes," you kind of have a problem.

    Also note that, according to this log, trolls are a bit shy about their flushed feelings. Yes, it's Nepeta's perspective, but also note that Karkat has been shy about his relationship with Terezi, as well. This is the canon we have to refer to.

    So, practically speaking, what does this mean? I'll tell you.

    *If you bring a character in solely to grab a booth and make-out, I will tell you to leave. You can do that over Private Messages, Pesterchum, Typewith.me, or anything else.

    *If any spontaneous make-outs that do crop up go on for more than a few posts, I will tell you to stop.

    *Any kind of fondling, groping, lewd, sexual, or otherwise questionable behavior is expressly forbidden. We don't want to see it. Take it elsewhere. This also includes excessively detailed descriptions of a make-out.

    Don't get me wrong. I fully understand that romance is a fun part of RP in general, and trollplay in particular. Yet it is also important to consider the context of where this is happening, and the Cafe thread is also supposed to be for character development. "But Whosit! This romantic relationship is development for my character!" you might say. Well, yes. How a relationship grows and develops is very important to development. Sloppy make-outs, however, do not really develop anything. They are just sloppy.

    7: Problems

    Gotta face facts: Problems are gonna crop up. Maybe it’s another player, maybe a fight broke out and someone is god moding, maybe someone decided that it would be awesome to bring in the rainbow-drinker rainbowblood who’s gonna be the next empress and who is secretly the lover of all the canon trolls. All of them. If you have a problem with someone, contact them. Privately and politely. It is not good to make a scene in public. If you are particularly adverse to conflict, you can contact me and I’ll see what I can do.

    Likewise, if I see something I think is a problem, I will PM you and try to straighten things out to everyone’s benefit. Note that I will ask you to withdraw or revise a character if I think they will remain problematic as they are. I want everyone to have fun, but I also believe that the fun of the many outweighs the fun of the few.

    8: Rules Change

    I reserve the right to change or revise these rules at any time with or without notification. So remember to check back occasionally to refresh yourself!

    9: Fun

    Have fun!

    Or else!

    Also, be polite, kids!

    FAQ
    (Okay, I don't really get many questions, but this seemed like the best label for this section.)

    Q: What if I want to roleplay something that isn't allowed in the Cafe?

    A: There are several other mediums for roleplaying: Instant messengers, including the fan-made Pesterchum client; typewith.me or sync.in collaborative documents; private messages. In theory, after characters meet in the Cafe, they can continue roleplaying elsewhere.

    Archives

    I am often on Pesterchum with one of my trolls. Don't be afraid to troll them. (Tags are in spoiler.)

  2. #2
    Poet of Blood nickelangelo's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVIII: Land of Booze and Brawls


    This guy walks in. He's got way too much free time on his hand. He sits down at a booth, orders a coffee and starts sketching in a notebook.
    Do NOT look for us.

    -Message received at multiversal timestamp EU.8355.03.24.10.48.05-
    -Message source unknown-

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    Knight of Breath JustAnotherUser's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVIII: Land of Booze and Brawls



    }"Su-Sure, I-I'll get it now."{

    There's another flurry of cards in the air. She snags one of the cards, and she gets an A4 photograph. The Lusus on it appears to be a beaked sheep, precariously balanced on eight tentacles. It's recently been trimmed.

    }"Sh-She may not be that fast or tough, but she knows how to raise a troll well."{

  4. #4
    omg *Spoiled*'s Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVIII: Land of Booze and Brawls


    "And what may that absolutely be?"
    Derp.

  5. #5
    he a dawg hesperMonarch's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVIII: Land of Booze and Brawls

    You decide to walk to the backrooms, since the pressure is too much.
    Hopefully you'll calm down a bit.


    so much,.. people...

    ((AFK.))

  6. #6
    Trollslum Cafe Regular Tekkenfreak4's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVIII: Land of Booze and Brawls



    Heh, follow me 7o 7he parkin' lo7 window...

    You walk the young troll over to the window and you both see the anti-gravity vehicle in the parking lot.
    OOC / Self insert FanHuman's Handle: acidReign
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  7. #7
    Poet of Blood nickelangelo's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVIII: Land of Booze and Brawls


    On a second thought, this troll also walks in, even though she only has this sprite. Her name is Tamara Deimea. She sits down and orders a soda.
    Do NOT look for us.

    -Message received at multiversal timestamp EU.8355.03.24.10.48.05-
    -Message source unknown-

  8. #8
    An anime guy Araiss's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVIII: Land of Booze and Brawls

    Wow...Animus has never seen a lusus like this.



    This s__ms t0 b_ a v_ry int_r_sting lusus. It s__ms t0 b_ a hybrid...I w0nd_r h0w I can mak_ a mann_quin f0r this..It will b_ a bit 0f a chall_ng_ but I sh0uld b_ abl_ t0 d0 it.

    Change the base and add more legs, that's the solution to that.
    EB Sprite made by Steev, OOC Handle: imaginitiveNarcoleptic

  9. #9
    Poet of Blood nickelangelo's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVIII: Land of Booze and Brawls


    Tamara looks around to see if there is anyone interesting around. There's another puppet-crafter, and that catches your interest for a moment, but you are too lazy.
    Do NOT look for us.

    -Message received at multiversal timestamp EU.8355.03.24.10.48.05-
    -Message source unknown-

  10. #10
    Knight of Breath JustAnotherUser's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVIII: Land of Booze and Brawls

    }"We-Well, a-at least you don't have to make the arms, ri-right? Anyway, it was nice talking to you, Animus.{

    ((Dammit TekkenFreak, now I'm going to have to check that out.))
    Last edited by JustAnotherUser; 09-02-2011 at 01:16 PM.

  11. #11
    Functionally Illiterate PrussianMoose's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVIII: Land of Booze and Brawls



    Because Sphexa is at hive dealing with a hangover and being informed of her drunken transgressions from the night prior, Moose brings in Abrene who takes a seat in a booth and orders a water.

  12. #12
    An anime guy Araiss's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVIII: Land of Booze and Brawls



    Y_s, th_ sam_ t0 y0u miss Mirias. It will tak_ a f_w days but I will hav_ y0ur 0rd_r r_ady s00n.

    Now Animus has to work on a voodoo doll and a mannequin, fun.
    EB Sprite made by Steev, OOC Handle: imaginitiveNarcoleptic

  13. #13
    Poet of Blood nickelangelo's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVIII: Land of Booze and Brawls


    Tamara decides not to be a lazy ass and walks over to the rustblood (Abrene).
    Heloooooo, maaaaaay I sit here?

    --------


    Anguis is still just sketching in a notepad.
    Do NOT look for us.

    -Message received at multiversal timestamp EU.8355.03.24.10.48.05-
    -Message source unknown-

  14. #14
    Functionally Illiterate PrussianMoose's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVIII: Land of Booze and Brawls



    Oh goodness, someone is talking to you! And it appears to be a green blood, better be polite!
    Abrene sits up in her seat and motions furiously to Tamara that it is, indeed, okay to take a seat.

    hehehehehe of course its okay for you to sit here maam!!!!!!! i am not some kind of rude troll who schchoos away company!!!!!!!!

    Smiles all around; and it doesn't occur to Abrene that maybe wearing your shades indoors might be a little strange.

  15. #15
    Poet of Blood nickelangelo's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVIII: Land of Booze and Brawls


    Maaaaaam? Theeeeeere is no need for such formalities! Iiiiii'm Tamara, whaaaaaath's your name?
    Tamara sits down and smiles kindly.

  16. #16
    Knight of Breath JustAnotherUser's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVIII: Land of Booze and Brawls



    Satisfied with your asking, you down the remains of a second soda and head to the back rooms for a little rest. You'll chat later.
    Last edited by JustAnotherUser; 09-02-2011 at 01:39 PM.

  17. #17
    Functionally Illiterate PrussianMoose's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVIII: Land of Booze and Brawls



    Abrene takes a sip of her water.

    oh...... well thank you!!!!!! my names abrene.... its a pleaschchure to meet you!!!!!!!!

    Abrene extends a had to shake.

  18. #18
    Poet of Blood nickelangelo's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVIII: Land of Booze and Brawls


    Greeeeeeat to meet you too, Abrene! Iiiiii notice you are one energetic troll, aren't you?
    You shake her hand and keep that gleeful smile of yours.

  19. #19
    An anime guy Araiss's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVIII: Land of Booze and Brawls

    Seeing as Animus has work to do, he gets up to leave the cafe. Puppets to make and trolls to avoid and watch out for.
    EB Sprite made by Steev, OOC Handle: imaginitiveNarcoleptic

  20. #20
    Trollslum Cafe Regular Tekkenfreak4's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVIII: Land of Booze and Brawls



    Well fuck, Silvestra passed out. You pick her up and take her to the backrooms and drops her in a 'coon. You walk back out, grab your Mocha, and sit at a table with a window facing the parking lot. You love your Triakis...
    OOC / Self insert FanHuman's Handle: acidReign
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  21. #21
    Functionally Illiterate PrussianMoose's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVIII: Land of Booze and Brawls



    Abrene tilts her head to the side slightly out of slight confusion.
    energchchetic??????? i dont think im muchch more excitable than any of the other trolls out there!!!!!!!
    hehehehe but maybe i am and i jchchust cant see it?????? ah well!!!!!! you seem pretty cool and composed though....... so maybe thats why i come off as energchchetic!!!!


    No Abrene, you are energetic.
    Anybody who uses that many exclamation marks after anything is energetic. gosch.

  22. #22
    Poet of Blood nickelangelo's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVIII: Land of Booze and Brawls


    You giggle at this adorable lowblood's shenanigans.
    Meeeeee? Coooooomposed? Aaaaaand cool? Iiiiii think you've got the wrong impression, hehe. Iiiiii can be as temperamental as a subjugglator when the situation gets too hot to handle.
    Which is to say, never. Tamara, you silly silly troll.
    Do NOT look for us.

    -Message received at multiversal timestamp EU.8355.03.24.10.48.05-
    -Message source unknown-

  23. #23
    lightningRecluse's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVIII: Land of Booze and Brawls



    Oh damn you haven't been here in awhile. Been busy FLARPing for parts perhaps.
    Perhaps your author is just too busy with your alternate universe older self.
    Regardless, you are here now, and you spot your 'rail's familiar hovering vehicle outside.

    You walk over to him and extend a fist for the patented epic 'rail fist bump.
    The spoiler of wonders awaits youuuuuu. OOC pesterchum handle: dystopicMagi Feel free to pester me whenever. :'D

  24. #24
    Functionally Illiterate PrussianMoose's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVIII: Land of Booze and Brawls



    too hot to handle you say!?!?!?! sounds toasty!!!!!! i dont get mad muchch.......... gchchenerally someone has to hurt one of my friends or my rail before i bring out the crowbar of paaaaaiiiiiin!!!!!!!!!

    She gives a gaptoothed grin, she rarely gets to grief, but she would be lying if she said she didn't enjoy it.

    ooooo!!!!! what kind of weapon do you use???????

    She's just smiling and sipping away at that water. She notices Tesela and gives him a friendly wave.

  25. #25
    Poet of Blood nickelangelo's Avatar
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    Re: TROLLSLUM CAFE XLVIII: Land of Booze and Brawls


    You eye Abrene with a suspicious look.
    Croooooowbar? Thaaaaaat sounds kind of shady! Buuuuuut it's your business, I guess.
    Then you wink and stick out your tongue.
    Aaaaaas for my specibus, I use dollKind! Iiiiii also make dolls for a living.
    Do NOT look for us.

    -Message received at multiversal timestamp EU.8355.03.24.10.48.05-
    -Message source unknown-

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