The Downward Spiral. Located in the seediest part of town in an empty alleyway that even the hobos avoid, it sits as a literal hole in the wall, it's door half sunken into the ground. You've passed it plenty of times, going from one place to another, but you've never really learned anything about it. You've never heard anyone talk about it, never been invited near it, or seen anyone come out of it. From all you can tell, it simply stands as a monument to urban decay and misused potential.
You must go in it.
Your pride as a sketchy bar-hopper demands it; the illiterately scrawled cautionary only makes it more enticing. Unfortunately you have a bad habit of getting into no small amount of trouble doing things like this, so you've made a habit of not actually giving out your real name when you do, instead using any of a list of aliases.
The only question is which alias to use...