Time Clones: The Game! (V2: FUCK YOU JIMMY)

[Insani]

This is Time Clones: The Game! A reboot of an older fanventure I did. It'll be generally silly and pointless, with sexy animated gifs.



Your name is BOB GENTLEMAN. In commands, you should be called >BOB:. A month ago, you were enlightened by a drunken homeless person and began your TIME CLONE CRUSADE. Two days later, the world has been overrun by time clones. Nations of the world cower in fear of your WHIRLING SHITSTORM INFERNO. You are the master.

What do you do?

[Fengar]

>Eat your clones.

[dragonpaul99]

>All Bobs: Find your earliest time clone and beat him up. It'll toughen him up and teach him a valuable lesson about never trusting anyone, especially time clones. Also, he kinda deserves it for not asking out Susan Holmes back in the 7th grade, god what a jackass, you hate him so much.

[Insani]

>Eat your clones.

You begin stuffing your mouth with clones.



NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM

[Insani]

im bumping

[CheeseDeluxe]

no you're not

[Edrobot]

Bob: You can't do that! The future will be changed! You'll create a time paradox!

[AutomatedChip]

>Punch nearest clone in tooth to establish dominance.

[Insani]

Alright, I just want to apologize for forgetting and stuff. The next update will have lots of flashy gifs to make up for it! And THE BOBHEAD. WHO IS THE BOB HEAD.

... I just need to get GIMP going.

...I bet the suspense isn't killing anyone! But I'll pretend it is, so that I can gleefully imagine how desperate everyone must be. Slamming those F5 keys, slammity slam. Go ahead and post suggestions like mad.

[kabbage]

examine surroundings

[Insani]

Bob: You can't do that! The future will be changed! You'll create a time paradox!



Bob? You do not know who this BOB is! You are . Of course, just a few minutes ago you were part of the BOB CONTINUUM! However your individuality has been assured for the survival of BOBKIND!

Such an act, my dear .. could only be caused by one individual...



>BE THE BOBHEAD



You cannot be . is busy making sure that the BOB CONTINUUM doesn't kill itself through utter stupidity. HE IS ALSO FIRING LASERS. THESE ARE THE LASERS THAT DO SOMETHING. While you're here, you can, however, admire his flashy goatee.

... This is stupid.

>BE BOB



You are bob. You are not or

One of you is upside down. Why is he upside down?

Who gives a shit?

>BOB: EXAMINE SORROUNDINGS



There are many of you.

Everyone is stupid but you.

You are the BOB CONTINUUM.

>Punch Nearest Clone in tooth to establish dominance



Your dominance has been established.

You are bob.

Let's do something.

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In the world of the BOB CONTINUUM, there is only one type of flashing. And that is RYGB flashing. Everything else sucks.

[kabbage]

craft a BOB-CRAFTING-BENCH with several bobs, then craft a BOB-SWORD out of several more bobs

[Insani]

>Bob: Gather Bobs to craft BOB-CRAFTING BENCH



You draw your sword and begin wildly killing Bobs, not thinking about all the possible paradoxes that could happen due to your wild self-killings. Does this count as suicide? You hope not.

Wow. These guys sure are pathetic. Noone can stand up to your MoThErFuCkInG mUrDeR mOdE )

>Bob: Disengage mUrDeR mOdE



You disengage your mUrDeR mOdE. It seems you've killed 500 Bobs during your rampage.

...Wait... what the hell?

You've apparently killed... 500 toms? Who the fuck is tom? And why are there so many of him?

... Fuck. This must be the work of .

... Well, you won't be crafting anything today. Thanks to . What an asshole. You hate .

>Bob: Wait for next command



You wait for someone to tell you to do something.


commentary spoiler below

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oh boy, GIFS! That first gif was a lot of fun to make. Didn't seem to turn out too well, though.

... is going to get a lot of references. You probably can't tell him to do anything, but who cares?

.. however... may be more cooperative.

RYGB flashing is the scratch lightning of this universe. But it's more of a wildcard special effect here. Any characters in possession of RYGB flashing are probably more powerful than everyone else.

... The second image might take a bit longer to load... it's 800 KB, what with the fancy effects.

[Loreweaver]

> Build a Tombench and begin crafting weapons from Toms.

[Insani]

>Bob: Craft a Tom Crafting Bench



You load up your BOB-CRAFT interface and stick in a bunch of DEAD TOMS. You use their bodies - and their ENERGY to create a mystical TOM CRAFTING BENCH, or TOM BENCH FOR SHORT. The Tom Bench will allow you to do advanced crafting.

>Bob: Activate the Tom Bench



To do that, you'll need to sprinkle some fairy essence on it - that is, the energy that all living things (and some recently deceased things) possess. The more fairy essence you have, the stronger you are. You can spare some essence right now, what with all these dead TOMS and their essences.

You throw some FAIRY ESSENCE on the TOM BENCH. It flashes the typical RED YELLOW GREEN BLUE (repeat if necessary) pattern, signalling that it's ready for use.

It flashes up the ADVANCED CRAFTING INTERFACE.

Let's get craftin'.

>Bob: Get Craftin'.



You've totally crafted yourself into some wicked shit, man! You've got this skin eyepatch, a wicked jacket from one of the TOMS, and some cool gear!

On your left is the weirdest weapon ever. It's the SLAPPY BROAD. It has three arms attached to it, which you can use to PUNCH PEOPLE.

On your right is a kickass energy cannon - it uses up a full head's worth of essence in about ten shots, at the most powerful setting. (most essence is stored in the head), so you have to be a bit careful how you use it. It is insanely powerful. The weakest setting would give you maybe thirty or forty shots, and still fuck shit up.

You've also fed yourself some of the other people's essence, you are now basically a superhuman. You are now the . You are almost the BADDEST BOB so far. Sadly, takes that place. Oh well, you're close!

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Wow, in my opinion the second gif came out awesomely!



Also, SLAPPY BROAD.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS~

[Chaos Kiwi]

Be TOM.

[Insani]

>Be TOM



You are now TOM. You are the superweapon created by the United Nations (aka every nation not destroyed by the BOB CONTINUUM) to counter the BOB CONTINUUM. Despite your inability to understand TIME TRAVEL, you have been selected as the PRIME CANDIDATE FOR THE DESTROYER OF BOB.

You wield a unique form of ESSENCE, DARK ESSENCE, a much more potent ESSENCE. You are much more powerful than the regular bob, but you do NOT KNOW how to use your essence, which is why five hundred of you got slaughtered by a lone BOB channeling his ESSENCE.

Dark Essence can be converted into normal essence and vice versa, but Dark Essence is much more powerful than normal essence.

If you were ever to learn how to use your DARK ESSENCE, the Bob continuum would be fucked. Eventually, you may be able to gain ENOUGH ESSENCE to destroy , who has probably gathered tens of thousands of lives worth of essence.

[Belonoid Anoesis]

>Bobhead: Exposit on how these BOBS work and why they turn into random people.

[Chaos Kiwi]

>Meet with your informant, Jimmy

[Insani]

AAAA WILL BE UNABLE TO UPDATE FOR 1 DAY -> LESS THAN A WEEK? I THINK.

My new PC isn't working well atm so I need to use my old one, as soon as my New one gets fixed I'll do all these commands. :'(

[Xander]

Tom: Get torn apart by the Bobs.

[snickeringSurrogate]

>Tom: Turn on the UN. Absorb their souls to gain control of the Dark Essence.

[Insani]

>Bobhead: Exposit on how these BOBS work and why they turn into random people.



While doesn't usually listen to idiotic mortals, thinks that it might be a good idea for to help you out this time, it would save a lot of work in the future.

Fine.


Time Clones are a bit of a hole in Space - Time. Time Clones are not something meant to exist, through a devilish combination of HIGH ESSENCE LEVELS, stupidity, and rambling hobos, the ability of Time Cloning was given to one, very stupid individual.

Bob.

Their blatant use of time travel and essence constantly corrupts Space - although this is not very serious, it causes... 'glitches' in time. These glitches allow Bobs to gain individuality without your help.

Since the rise of the Bobs, you have had to constantly help the Bobs out. And, when you were a mere bob, you were constantly causing trouble. However, with the gaining of essence. from a TOM SLAUGHTER, you slowly gained more intelligence and power. Eventually, one of these 'glitches' occurred and targeted you - assisted by a mystical figure, , it made you an individual.

In a sense, you created yourself. Once you became an individual, you gained more and more essence, more and more power, and more and more knowledge. You are a Deity now. You are .

You wield ESSENCE. ESSENCE is one of the most powerful and dangerous substances in the entire universe. No, it is THE most powerful substance. It can manipulate time, space, and a deity such as yourself, with thousands of lives' worth of essence, could probably near-destroy it. Luckily, you are the first man to ever gain DEITY-STATUS.

These 'Glitches' are why TOM is still alive, of course, you are also keeping him alive. Without the essence of all his clones, you wouldn't exist.

thinks he has explained enough now. is sick of explaining things to mortals now. requests you fuck off.

>Tom: Meet with your informant, Jimmy



... FINE.

You hate Jimmy. He is a jerk and whenever you meet him he does that Robe Thing. You hate him and how quickly he can take off his clothes. Fuck you Jimmy. He's still wearing clothes, you sick bastard. Fuck you, audience.

However, the United Nations has chosen him to be your informant, as he can use his Essence to listen in on the BOB CONTINUUM. He is able to do this because of a HIGHLY EVOLVED MIND. It is believed that he may be the next step in mental evolution.

He uses the same kind of Essence you do to do so.

Show FUCK-YOU-JIMMY Log

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TOM: hey jimmy
JIMMY: yo tomms
TOM: fuck you jimmy
JIMMY: right back atcha, bbydash
TOM: FUCK. YOU. JIMMY.
TOM: now shut up with your stupid bullfuck, fuckpudding
TOM: you had something to tell me
JIMMY: hell yes bbydash
TOM: FUCK YOU JIMMY
JIMMY: calm down babycakes, its about the bobhead
JIMMY: whoops, i mean
TOM: spit it out fucknuts
JIMMY: calm yo shit bbydash
TOM: FUCK
TOM: YOU
TOM: JIMMY
JIMMY: i heard yo the first fifty times, babycakes!
TOM kicked JIMMY in the nuts.
TOM: FUCK YOU JIMMY

FUCK JIMMY.

YOU ARE GOING AWAY FROM JIMMY NOW.

>TOM: Get torn apart by the Bobs:

O-

>Bobhead: INTERCEPT THAT COMMAND QUICK



You cannot allow this to happen. Tom's survival is necessary for the ANTI-BOB to gain enough essence to become you. Without TOM'S CLONES, you cannot become yourself.

>Tom: Turn on the UN. Absorb their souls to gain control of the Dark Essence.



NOPE! You are a special angel fairy snowflake! So innocent and god-fearing and stuff!!

Okay fuck this. You are not going to turn on the UN. You may be a serious, angry man, but you are not a BAD MAN. You will destroy BOB, and then you will become a super celebrity, and all the chicks will love you. And you will go over to Susan Holmes, from back in 7th grade, and you will give her the middle fucking finger.

Yeah that's right, Susan Holmes, the hot girl back in 7th grade, at least YOU had the balls to ask her out unlike BOB. What a pussy.

Apparently she didn't like people who could lift weights with their ears. What a bitch.

Anyway, yeah, you are not an evil mastermind, you are just a PATRIOT who wants to SAVE THE WORLD AND THEN GET ALL THE BABES.

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WHOOOOO

... Why is BOB no longer the main character.

Also that susan holmes thing is a reference to Dragonpaul's suggestion that I never got around to doing? aaaa

anyway, yeah. Bluh lots of text. also FUCK YOU JIMMY

[snickeringSurrogate]

>Jimmy: Return home to your family in tears, heart broken by your best friend, inner emotions ripping apart your fragile body more and more every day.

[Hikari no Kaze]

>Jimmy: It's hard being Jimmy. It's hard and nobody understands.