GET UP ON THOSE LITTLE MARY SUE LEGS OF YOURS
AND GO EAT THAT STEAK
I SAID GO EAT THE STEAK, GIRL
YOU'RE REALLY TICKING ME OF NOW, WOMAN
ILL FIND THOSE FREAKY SUN PROTECTORS AND SHOVE THEM THROUGH YOUR BREATHING HOLE YOU KNOW THAT?
YOU'RE A FOOD-WASTING WIMP
MAKES ME SICK
GET UP AND EAT THE STEAK
YOU EAT THAT STEAK THIS INSTANT
Sarah: You cannot do it. You cannot eat the steak.
YOU'VE BEEN TREATING ME ROUGH FOR TOO LONG
FUCK, I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER THE LAST TIME YOU TUCKED INTO ANYTHING WITH MORE PROTEIN THAN LENTIL SOUP
LET ALONE A PERFECTLY-COOKED PLATE OF FREAKING CORN-FED PRIME BEEF STEAK
LOOK AROUND GIRL
THERE IS NO-ONE ELSE IN THIS CELL
AND THERE IS NO-ONE HERE MISSING LUNCH
YOU EARNED IT
THAT PLATE IS YOURS
THOSE STARVING ORPHANS WOULD MURDER FOR THAT PRIME CUT OF FREAKING SIRLOIN
YOU ARE GOING TO USE THOSE TWO SMOOTH-SKINNED HANDS OF YOURS
GRAB THAT PLATE OF MEDIUM-RARE STEAK RIGHT NOW
SHOVE THAT MEAT IN YOUR MOUTH
AND EAT IT
I DON'T CARE IF IT'S NOT HALAL
I DON'T CARE IF YOU CAN'T CHEW
I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE A VEGAN
YOU WILL PICK IT UP
YOU WILL EAT IT
AND YOU WILL ENJOY IT
Last edited by CSJ; 09-28-2011 at 03:24 AM.
Sarah: Check to see if you still have your captchalogue deck and syllabus.
Syllabus? That sounds serious. If you did have it, you're awfully glad you don't anymore!
Joking aside, you do indeed still have your SYLLADEX. You're not exactly sure if that's something that can be rightly taken from you anyway. Speaking of which, you take this time to captchalogue the NOTE. You'll no doubt need to return this message to its owner, for confidentiality's sake.
You crack open your STOPWATCH FETCH MODUS and assign the NOTE to a CARD. You'd rather not wait too long to withdraw the NOTE when the time comes, but you'd also want to have enough time to ready yourself and avoid an embarrassing STOPWATCH LOCKUP, so setting the CARD to 4 SECONDS should do nicely.
Sarah: Store the steak in it.
Oh very well.
But you're STILL not eating the thing until you get some answers. This is a matter of hospitality we're talking about here!
Sarah: Critically peruse surroundings.
You are alone in a HEWN STONE ROOM. The floor is STONE, the WALLS are STONE, the CEILING is STONE, and the DOOR is STONE.
Upon the STONE floor lies three BAGS, which you assume are SLEEPING BAGS. There is a BIN of some kind across the room from you that seems to be filled with GARBAGE. You arrive at the conclusion that you're not the only one who occupies these quarters.
What will you do?
> Investigate drink container and sleeping-bags; garbage rummaging is beneath you
>Attempt to analyse stone surrounds; you were paying attention in geology class, right?
Last edited by CSJ; 09-28-2011 at 05:31 AM.
>Remember childhood full of banana-tree kicking fondly, then kick a hole in the wall.
> Sarah: Check for cracks in the walls.
-- R. R.
chumhandle - "gearheadAutomation"
(avatar pic by frostedWarlock)
After kicking hole in wall discover...another wall.
Attempt to open door.
Rule 1 of adventuring: Check everything! Go look in the garbage bin, the sleeping bags, that drink container...
>Use Straw as BRAIN EXTRACTION UNIT
Realize weird door handle is actually a puzzle: solve it in like 3 off-screen seconds.
>3rd and 4th Walls: Have stuff on yourselves
One of the inmates: Be completely obsessed with the great untold god Adrian. Have posters covering both of those walls. Be completely devout in your belief that all people must convert to your religion or life will cease to function as you know it.
This person is obviously crazy. Why would the great creator of the universe be named Adrian?
Although having those two walls covered in Andre posters would also be hilarious.
Edit: Although on a more serious note, having it so that somewhere in the castle the damsel could see what was going on with her players would actually be a pretty good idea.
>Rummage through the trash. Maybe you'll find some answers. Or at least something entertaining.
"Take life's lemons and make some lemonade, even if it's really sour lemonade that doesn't taste too good and makes you gag. *shrug* Lemonade is lemonade."
>Search the Trash
>>Search under the Sleeping Bags
This signature has been hidden because it exceeds the boundaries of time and space.
My MUSIC is used in the Fan Adventure HOMESTESQUE which is made by my friend. You should read that. BUT LISTEN TO MY MUSIC BEFORE YOU DO BECAUSE IT IS THE BEST PART OF THE ENTIRE THING YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE! Also these.
> Put trash in the bags.
> Put steak in the trash.
> Take drink out of drink container.
Lawful Neutral, Blue/White, Ravenclaw