TROLLSLUM CAFE LIV: There's a new sheriff in town.

[Pootporri]

And apparently, this town is big enough for all fifty-four of us.

Announcement II:

Hi, I'm Poot! Along with Monster X, I'm going to be managing the cafe from now on. This, of course, means that questions and concerns about the cafe and/or the new cafe rules, as well as complaints about other players playing inside of the cafe should be either directed to Pootporri or Monster X. All of my adoring fans can direct themselves to my inbox as well. Please take a moment to reread the rules, as we've changed them to reflect the community views a bit more. A lot of the other ones are still set in, and others have minor adjustments to them, which may or may not effect your character.

Welcome the Trollslum Café!

Our Guiding Principle: We are all fans of Homestuck in general, and of the trolls in particular. We like to make fantrolls, and if we like to make fantrolls, we love to roleplay them. And so, once upon a time, this thread was created as a place to bring new, undeveloped trolls so that players could flesh them out while interacting with other characters. The primary purpose of the Café is to provide a vague social setting in which characters can meet, mingle, and talk. It is a good way to get introduced to other characters that you can then troll on trollian/pesterchum, or get involved with in a more specific RP. It can also be a decent place to hang out.

Below are some rules that I would like you to follow when you are posting in the Café. Please read them carefully, whether you are new or old to the Café!

1: Characters and Setting

The Café is located somewhere on Alternia. Where exactly? Who knows, and it doesn't particularly matter. For some reason, it is somehow easily accessible by nearly every troll on the planet. Keep in mind that this place is located on Alternia (the troll homeworld which is populated by the troll young only*, more details on this later on) when you are developing a character for the Café. Aliens, freaks, and mutants will not last long on Alternia*. Undead creatures are also not likely to be treated with compassion by the living trolls. Specifically, no aliens (this means humans), no freaks*, abominations, undead, ghosts, or crazy mutants*. Take into account that the accepted fandom age for being an adult is 10 sweeps or older, based on what is the prevailing headcanon at the moment. That is the age when your troll is either culled for not adding to the incestuous slurry, or if they've met the requirements, are whisked off to join the Fleet.

* <= This little asterik means that there can be exceptions, with probable cause. Don't throw your adult troll in with the excuse that they never got picked up by the fleet. Think it over. Adults were banned from Alternia, as in it's probably completely populated by younger trolls. In this case scenario, exceptions can be made, just as long as you take the time to think over why your character is on Alternia. As for freaks and mutants, they're allowed in the cafe, just as long as they, too, have a legitimate reason why they're not dead yet. Again, take into account that Alternia is a rough place. Mutations are not commonly accepted, and said troll will probably have a problem with other trolls if they're flaunting it around like a new piece of jewelry.

The Cafe is also set outside any sort of Sgrub or S***b continuity. No troll should know about the game, Skaia, the moons, meteors, or humans. Save that for an actual session roleplay. This also means that aspects and characters from what would be from a sGRUB or s**** session are banned.

Notice to newer players!: I highly encourage you to post a profile in the trollslum thread or in the new critique thread before starting your roleplaying experience in the Cafe. Getting some feedback on your character before you start playing them can help you make an even better character and avoid some common pitfalls newer players make!

2: Joining the Café

How do you join? Just post! There are no pre-requisites and no screening (for better or for worse). Just jump in, find someone who isn’t already in a scene, and start a conversation.

3: Posting in the Café

A few guidelines for how to post here:

*It is generally helpful if you clearly indicate which character you are speaking to if you are initiating a conversation. If a name isn't listed, please be as specific as possible.

*You can quote a previous post to enhance the clarity of your response, but please spoiler images, and do not post quote pyramids. You can be infracted for this.

*Indicate OOC conversation by double paranthesis (()), or double brackets [[]] if you prefer, or by some other method that clearly indicates you are speaking OOC.

*Do not post only OOC chatter. Go to the Trollslum GenChat for that.

4: Joining a Conversation

Before you have your character wander up to someone and start chatting, check to see if the other character is already talking, and to whom. Sometimes two characters are having a light chat and you may be able to get away with approaching them. Other times, they may be having a serious discussion and would not appreciate the intrusion. Like real-life, think carefully before you walk up to someone and interrupt them, and if they ignore you or tell you to go away, respect that!

5: Fights
Fights are going to need a list of rules all its own. This may very well be one of the most important sections, so please read it carefully!

1) Avoid fights whenever possible! If there are any other viable options for your character besides “pull out a weapon,” do that instead! Yes, I’m sure you want to show off how “badass” your character is, but ultimately getting in a fight is just going to make you look silly and probably like kind of a jerk. Yes, you may be thinking that “trolls are violent pricks,” but remember that the primary purpose of the Café is to develop your character, and fights are not the best way to do that. This doesn't mean that you can't play a mean, provocative character, just know your limits!

2) If you must engage in a fight, please contact the other player(s) by PM or your preferred chat client to try and work things out before you both start throwing posts at each other. If you have an end result you are working towards, it is less likely that your fight will completely devolve into a “show them up” contest.

3) Follow proper etiquette! What do I mean? If you do end up in a fight, the way you describe your character acting is what may separate you from a God Moder and someone with class. Here are some dos and don’ts:

”I cut your character’s arm off with my sword.” Very bad! If you do something like this, you are inflicting an injury on another character without giving them a chance to respond or avoid. Basically, you’re an asshole.

“I shoot your character in the face.” Bad. It is worded in such a way that it suggests the blow already landed.

“I aim at your character’s face and fire.” Probably the best you can do. It explains your action and gives the other player an opportunity to dodge the attack, or not, as they wish.

4) Don’t get involved in someone else’s fight! Unless your troll is good friends with one of the participants, it doesn’t make sense for them to get involved in someone else’s battle. On the whole, trolls are not very charitable. Group fights are just a mess and a bad idea.

5) Don’t fight at all if you can help it! Yes, this rule warrants repeating. It is entirely possible to play a mean, jackass character without provoking a fight every time you talk to someone. BE THE BIGGER MAN (OR WOMAN)! If it looks like you’re going to start a fight, back off! Contrary to what you might think, you’ll earn more respect from your peers than if you start trying to beat the other character up.

6: Romance

Trolls have quadrants. Romance is gonna happen. Now, it’s not my place to tell you how to live your love (or hate) lives. However, I ask that you all keep things clean. If your characters are going to go beyond snuggling and smooching, take it to PMs, an IRC, or a private chat. I’m trying to run a respectable establishment, here.

Addendum:
Due to events both past and present, I am revising the rules on what should and should not be posted in the Cafe thread regarding romantic matters. Please remember that this Cafe is a public space. Think about what a person might or might not do in public: Hand holding, a light kiss, maybe a brief makeout if the couple is feeling rowdy. Trolls would not go the the Cafe solely for the purpose of making out with their significant other(s). Would you go to a restaurant or other public venue just to start eating face with someone else? If the answer is "yes," you kind of have a problem.

Also note that, according to this log, trolls are a bit shy about their flushed feelings. Yes, it's Nepeta's perspective, but also note that Karkat has been shy about his relationship with Terezi, as well. This is the canon we have to refer to.

So, practically speaking, what does this mean? I'll tell you.

*If you bring a character in solely to grab a booth and make-out, I will tell you to leave. You can do that over Private Messages, Pesterchum, Typewith.me, or anything else.

*If any spontaneous make-outs that do crop up go on for more than a few posts, I will tell you to stop.

*Any kind of fondling, groping, lewd, sexual, or otherwise questionable behavior is expressly forbidden. We don't want to see it. Take it elsewhere. This also includes excessively detailed descriptions of a make-out.

Don't get me wrong. I fully understand that romance is a fun part of RP in general, and trollplay in particular. Yet it is also important to consider the context of where this is happening, and the Cafe thread is also supposed to be for character development. "Oh, but faithful cafe owner! This romantic relationship is development for my character!" you might say. Well, yes. How a relationship grows and develops is very important to development. Sloppy make-outs, however, do not really develop anything. They are just sloppy.

7: Problems

Gotta face facts: Problems are gonna crop up. Maybe it’s another player, maybe a fight broke out and someone is god moding, maybe someone decided that it would be awesome to bring in the rainbow-drinker rainbowblood who’s gonna be the next empress and who is secretly the lover of all the canon trolls. All of them. If you have a problem with someone, contact them. Privately and politely. It is not good to make a scene in public. If you are particularly adverse to conflict, you can contact me and I’ll see what I can do.

Likewise, if I see something I think is a problem, I will PM you and try to straighten things out to everyone’s benefit. Note that I will ask you to withdraw or revise a character if I think they will remain problematic as they are. I want everyone to have fun, but I also believe that the fun of the many outweighs the fun of the few.

8: Rules Change

I reserve the right to change or revise these rules at any time with or without notification. So remember to check back occasionally to refresh yourself!

9: Fun

Have fun!

Or else!

Also, be polite, kids!

FAQ
(Okay, I don't really get many questions, but this seemed like the best label for this section.)

Q: What if I want to roleplay something that isn't allowed in the Cafe?

A: There are several other mediums for roleplaying: Instant messengers, including the fan-made Pesterchum client; typewith.me or sync.in collaborative documents; private messages. In theory, after characters meet in the Cafe, they can continue roleplaying elsewhere.

Archives

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The Twentieth!
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The Precursor

[Syvar]

His smile widens a bit.
Nah, babe, my vision's perfekekt.

[Captain Whosit]

How does one even juggle something secretly? It is right there....

=|==> Pretty 5ure we wou1dn't, but 1f you 5top be1ng a b1tch to Deve1 we won't have to f1nd out, w111 we? A little fire doesn't scare Altaia. A lot of fire might, but she is pretty sure she could ignore a few third-degree burns long enough to get her stab on.

[dragonLuminary]

Oh he's smiling, be polite and smile back.



++>Then you definitely have sssome unique definition for "babe".<++

[Araiss]

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. . .


do you even own a mirror?

Nutela seems genuinely confused. Why couldn't she see what was wrong with herself?

Oh right, because Nutela is kind of a picky bitch.

You are starting to think perhaps this seadweller is one of the smaller fish in the sea. Kosuna then proceeds to give a sigh.



i own a small one, yes.l< i don't have any idea what you're talking about though, look.

She then proceeds to press a button so the whole mask comes off, which she puts on the table.



see?

[Overlard]

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B:? What, you want me to make you one or something?

Selling your gadgets for money??? That's actually a good idea.

He's probably going to include an anti-tech-theft device inside anything he sells. Trade secrets and all.

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Devei snarls some more.

Ain't afraid of a little fire. Just stop being an irritation and you'll live to see the next night.

Devei can totally get his chop on through the fire. Hopefully it won't somehow burn out his other eye if it comes to it. He likes having at least one organic one.

[Syvar]

Pretty girl? Never thought that was a unique definition.
Dyanas doesn't have any problems with scars.

[Weeaboo]

Sista, yar really startin ta get on my nerves. Honk~
Ya know that? Honk~

[insaneJester]

Let's toss a- Oh Jesus what happened to your shirt! Killing spree? FLARPing match? Went insane for a moment or two? Anything is a good a guess as mine. Regardless of his now bloody state, he makes his way to the bar, actually ordering a Faygo this time instead of popping one out of his inventory. Shocking.

[Fexxos Vyront]

==> Avirox: Examine Shady Contacts Menu
Pause > Sylladex > Phone > Shady Contacts
It's depressingly empty. You have one. And he doesn't particularly like you right now...
I'll let You know What i Need, if You can Build it. How much Would they Cost?
You notice the subjug that walked in. That's a lot of blood.

[dragonLuminary]

He complimented you, how do you deal with that?

++>That isss alssso a firssst.<++

[Suds McFuddle]

Still here. Still playing StarCraft. The only way Olliee could be more boss right now is if he was wearing sunglasses.

[Pootporri]

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You are starting to think perhaps this seadweller is one of the smaller fish in the sea. Kosuna then proceeds to give a sigh.



i own a small one, yes.l< i don't have any idea what you're talking about though, look.

She then proceeds to press a button so the whole mask comes off, which she puts on the table.



see?

oh, i see. i could've sworn from your sprite that that was just your face. oh well.

Way to set a good example.

while i can't particularly agree with your choice of mascara, you seem to have a pretty normal face after all. so, why are you wearing the mask again? this isn't a desert, this is a cafe. plus, you look pretty weird when you're wearing it. offence may or may not be intentional.

Probably intentional.

[Captain Whosit]

=|==> Funny. 1 wa5 gonna 5ay the 5ame about you.

Just look at the smug grin Kantia has. Why is she so smug and cocky? Probably because she is a highblood and you are not but that is totally not the point here. Bitches be bitches.

[Overnightfuture]

guh its boring here today so you leave
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and then Acerus showed up because I was feeling a little crazy today

he walks in as if he owns the place and sits down at a table leaning back in his chair and resting his feet on the table

[Syvar]

Okay, she's blushing. What now?
Okekay, you're being adorable. My name is Dyanas.
He extends his hand for a handshake.

[Weeaboo]

Ya wouldn't dare ta try it. Honk~

[Overlard]

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Billons SHADY CONTACTS menu is ALSO depressingly empty. He's a really bad villain.

B:T I dunno, like five hundred caegars? They're pretty hard to make.

He assumes that's a fair price for them. And probably won't budge on it.

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Devei speaks not a word. But he's fully prepared to get his chops on. Venting some frustration on an indigo blood with your matesprit is always fun, right??

Of course it is.

[Cliff_Racer]

Uristi wakes up at his table. He immediately yelps and pours a tankard of rum for himself.

He scratches his beard and looks at everyone else.

Quite the interesting crowd today...

[Fexxos Vyront]

+1 SHADY CONTACT.
Shady contacts however, are not mutually inclusive.
heh... Sure. i'll Take five.

[Araiss]

because i just got here and wanted to relax. why does it matter if i take my mask off or not?.l< if you haven't noticed i do have a scar, though i don't know how you may or may not have guessed that.l<

Kosuna's a bit confused herself. It's like she has some sort of weird powers or something, but that's impossible.

[dragonLuminary]

You can't make your face stop. You're suddenly less creepy than normal this will not due.

++>Uhh...nice to meet you... name isss Ssshryll...<++

You suddenly run away. Because the author's mother is mean.

[Captain Whosit]

=|==> Maybe. Maybe not. Who know5.

In all honesty, Altaia has kind of forgotten what the argument here was about in the first place. She'd probably be happy enough if she could get out of this with her dignity intact, but since both she and Kantia seem to be stubborn bitches, that might be a tad difficult to pull off.

=|==> 11ke 1 5a1d, 5top hara551ng my mate5pr1t and we won't have any prob1em5. Well, that is probably a lie. Altaia will probably always have problems with Kantia. Oh well.

[Flamerider64]

Litmen doesn't usually show any positive affinity for highbloods of any sort, but she's watching the argument between Katina and the Altaia-Devei couple, and hoping that the Subjug gets a slap upside the head or something, preferably something more brutal, for being an overall nuisance.
She wasn't too pleased with the way she acted to Voilla.

[Nightcastle]

In comes Polair... You swear you just saw a girl who looks like Ryamba.

You sit down by your Blueblood bro, staying kinda silent.